make mine a double espresso...

• 10 reasons why she won't answer/return your calls...

  Posted: April 14, 2010, 7:36 pm by kahawamoto

  
  
  This post was inspired by a Kenyan Trending Topic (TT) on Twitter which my friend started. The name of the TT was “I hate how Kenyan guys…” or something like that.
  Then yesterday, I stumbled upon a blog, and the latest post on it was “10 reasons why he won’t call you back”.
  Now that props have been given to the things that inspired me, here are, in no particular order, some of the reasons why she won’t call you back. Specially done for my Kenyan ladies.
  
  PLEASE CALL ME. THANKYOU .Your idea of a first phone call is a Please Call Me. – FAIL! If you can’t even afford a bamba 20, the future of the endeavour looks bleak. Not that we’re all gold diggers but c’mon…
  
  WE NI NANI? She can’t remember who you are. This one happens more often that you think. You chill till the girl is crazy wasted at the club then you go pestering her for her number, which you get coz she’z clearly too drunk to lie. The next morning, the conversation goes like
  Him: hello, sema…
  Her: ummm, who’s this
  Him: it’s Davo, from last night…
  Her: okaaaay… who gave you this number?
  What follows is awkwardness. But more likely than not, she won’t ever pick/ return your calls again.
  
  PLAYA. You asked for her, her cousins, her friend’s and some other random chick’s number. Not that keeping your options open is a bad thing, just be slick about it. Jheeze! -but there are some chick who’ll want to fight for the guy’s attention. (we’ll discuss esteem and daddy issues another day).
  
  STALKER. You call her 5 times in the first 24 hours after receiving her number. Can you spell stalker? Y.O.U! your number will be deleted so quickly plus you’ll be black balled to all her friends.
  
  SHIT TO DO. It’s self explanatory, but for the sake of. I’ll explain. She’s got shit to do.
  
  “SHORTCOMINGS” she let you get it once and it was a disappointment. Not so much the technique, that can always be worked on. It was more an issue of the size of the package. I know, it’s a low blow, but it’s a valid reason. No sex is better than bad sex.
  
  XOXO, GOSSIP GIRL. There’s someone saying very unflattering thing s about you and it got to her. You know women and gossip. Not to generalize but come on…
  
  HER BOYFRIEND... dude. she has a dude.
  
  KENCHIC you've been dating a month and all you've done is go to kenchic and the local. no offense to kenchic and the locals. there's nothing like a quarter chicken and chips at 6am after a hectic hanye, but c'mon... not ati she's a gold digger. we just wanna be treated nice...
  
  ON TO THE NEXT ONE. nuff said!
  
  feel free to add on to the list. even guys. we're not trying to hate on ya'll. :)

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