make mine a double espresso...

• 2010

  Posted: January 3, 2010, 12:40 am by kahawaMoto

  
  
  i remember just wanting to fast forward to a new year a couple of months ago. either that or starting the year over. getting the a second chance at first impressions. not getting drunk that one time, or talking shit that other time... or... giving that one dude from that one party more incentive to ask for my number, or switching offmy phone of instead of sending that drunk text, or not having that last drink that lead to that one night stand.
  
  i'm not going to whine and moan about the year that was. i know i pissed some people off. myself included. i've made my apologies and it's time to move on. with school, with my non-existent love life (watch this space though!) i'll make an effort, with new friendships, with REAL friends, with family, with myself, with self love... my hips, my thighs, my lips, my eyes -India Arie.
  i'll still moan about bad hair days from time to time though.
  
  becoming the person i would want to attract.
  becoming the person i would want to be-friend
  
  realizing that he is not the only one out there for me.
  
  lemmi stop beating about the bush. this post was supposed to be about failure to achieve intimacy. it's causes and effects. i just can't remember shit from my classes and all my text books and notes are back in south africa.
  
  you know how your keys are always in the last place you look? and how some people say, you have to let love find you, or wait for happiness to pursue you?
  i don't know how i can consciously stop thinking about it and let it (him) find me. i can't tell myself to stop thinking about it because that is still thinking about it.
  hopefully i will be buried in school work, school work, my taebo and yoga dvd's, my poetry, hopefully church every sunday, and other artsy gigs, and checking out hip hop lyrics on the internet... (see, i managed to distract myself for a second there) and remove it (love) and him (the one i haven't met, or looked at in that way)from my mind.
  
  listening to Jill Scott doesn't help.
  
  a friend of mine just got engaged. i remember giving her relationship advice some years back. funny how things work out. i can't help thinking that maybe i took a wrong turn somewhere... either that or there's something off putting about me, the person i've come to be...?
  
  i'm rambling now.
  
  have an awesome year my good people.
  
  peace and love.

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes