make mine a double espresso...

• two freakin years (spoken word)

  Posted: March 19, 2009, 4:19 am by misscaffeineaddict

  This one's for that guy, who made me cry,
  and wish i,no,wish HE would die.
  The ex lover,the under cover brother,
  the reason for my hangover,and please call me when i'm sober...
  
  It Rhymes with Larry, who i thought i would marry,
  who's baby i would carry but we were in 2 much of a hurry...
  
  I used to on some rnb tip...
  &i hate how much i love you boy...
  Forgettin How played me like some toy
  how i wrote songs about him bringing me joy... Shit.
  
  saw him a while back,
  couldn't breathe like some sorta asthma attack,
  so he texted me,told him i'd call back.
  Remembered his old ringtone,some mushy track.
  
  Realised with that call,how i was so apauld,
  how i would never fall, let alone stall...
  For his Shit at all.
  
  See i used to fight with my pathetic might to get him gone from my mind to try put him behind...
  Me.
  stupid&naive me,i couldn't see he had come to be,
  the weakness in me.
  Singing songs like
  ...why do you come near...
  followed by drying my tears
  not gettin over him for TWO FREAKIN years.
  
  One day, he came over, and tried to get closer,
  pity i was still sober, he did get some...
  Cold shoulder
  followed by you can't stay longer...
  
  Damn.This dude was tricky
  tryna be all up in me, tisha and vicky,
  comin to my house with a hicky, thinking we was gonna get... Sticky...
  
  See our love, was like pitchin a tent, the beginnin was...
  Let me be patient... Let me be kind...
  Then it moved to
  I'm gonna get violent, and lose my mind...
  Now i'm at ease, i found peace and after this rant it'll finally change to,
  i will be silent... I've put him behind.

• Kiss me on my neck- Erykah Badu

  Posted: March 16, 2009, 11:55 pm by misscaffeineaddict

  I want somebody to walk up behind me... And kiss me on my neck and breathe, on my neck
  I want somebody to walk up behind me... And kiss me on my neck and breathe, on my neck
  
  Been such a long time, i forgot that i was fine... Just kiss me on my neck and breathe, on my neck
  
  I want somebody to walk up behind me... And kiss me on my neck and breathe, on my neck
  
  if you want to feel me, better be divine
  bring me water, water for my mind
  give me nothing, breathe love in my air
  don't abuse me, coz these herbs are rare
  
  if you want to feel me baby, better be divine...
  Bring me water for these flowers growing out my mind
  give me nothing, just be gentle, breathe love in my air...
  Use me, don't abuse me love me, coz these herbs are rare...
  
  
  I know it's old school but i LOVE this song.

• my knee, schoolwork, naturopathism, rastafariansm, party at the garage, writing, the mother...

  Posted: March 11, 2009, 5:52 pm by misscaffeineaddict

  clearly from the title i have alot to write about today, the title is like bullet points so that i don't miss anything out. okay, i popped my knee a crazy one last week thursday. we went for a few drinks, danced abit then pop! me knee cap (or whatever, i'm not in med school) popped out of it's socket (or whatever, i'm not in med school) the pain was of epic proportion. so there i was, on the floor in the middle of the pub, when it happens you can't stand up, crying really loudly, my friends trying to figure out if i fell coz i'm drunk... i took a cab home, called my mother, wept on the phone, went to hospital the next day. apparently, i need surgery coz the problem has been going on for a while. but they (medicine folk always say you need surgery right) so i am now in a beige coloured knee brace, limping around campus. fun stuff!!!
  
  on to other things, my schoolwork, i only have four modules to this semester so i've been cutting class more than i'm proud of. all of that was going to change from this week but my being knee brace won't let me go to school. i've been- what's the expressin for broke? dead broke; piss broke; ummm... dirty broke? (your comments better have answers!!!) so i've been really broke for the past couple off days coz of the hopsital bill and the stupid BEIGE KNEE BRACE! so i couldn't afford a taxi to school no, not cab, a taxi. a matatu. yeah, they're called taxis here. so here i am in the comp lab downloading slides to lectures i've missed hoping that i have good grades by the end of the semester. oh. and yz, i know you'll read this soon, i hope you've been signing me in for sp201... other wise, chop chopped and screwed... sigh...
  
  oh yeah, the naturopathism. so on friday, my landlady, bless her heart picked me up and took me to hospital. i had no idea where it was and i couldn't walk so clearly... on the way there she was talking about how she doesn't to modern medicine and she's more into herbs and stuff and she used to own a health shop and how nature is the best way to treat the body... it went on for a while, then she got into life coaching stuff and energy stuff and how the brain affects the body and certain injuries are an indication of what's bugging us mentally like how if you get a tongue sore, there's something you're keeping in and you need to speak out about it, etc, so apparently me hurting my leg was because there's something i'm supposed to be doing or accomplishing that i'm not... of course it got me thinking but come on, we all have stuff we're supposed to be doing right? i'm really curious about the whole naturopath thing, something new to try out so i'll try get books and stuff. i'll let ya'll know how that goes.
  
  the rastafarian point won't be long. i was thinking of trying out the rasta thing, as in the religion again... but i really love meat, and alcohol, and menthol cigarettes and spices so... i'll look for something else...
  
  there was a party at my house this weekend. it was lame, so me and the cool side of the house decided to go back to my room, which used to be part of a garage by the way but it's totally legit now plus i get a garage door. (yaay!) so cool people plus a bottle of tequila, a bottle of gin, really cool music... and more cool people coming in... come on... of course it became a party. it kicked ass, before we moved it to the club, you know, coz we're cool, but that was a good look for me. the cool party was in my room. score!!! i'd upload pictures but nah... i'd probably get into trouble ;)
  
  this writing thing... i hadn't written poetry in ages. everything was just sounding random but i'm working on it. this last bit is more for me. i'm telling myself everything will be alright. i haven't lost is. i've got some ideas. watch this blog!
  
  finally. just thought i'd mention that my mom is really really cool. she's also having a problem with her left leg... we're like so telepathic!!! i miss her. she's awesome... if you don't know, now you know niggas!!! (watched notorious recently, can't get that line out of my head) that and... i love it when you call me big poppa!

• I want mine

  Posted: March 3, 2009, 3:43 am by misscaffeineaddict

  Lunch dates
  Movies
  Fries and a shake
  Hold the fries, i'll just have the shake
  Late night phone calls
  Countless text messages... Or wall posts
  Cute smiley faces :) ;) :*
  Sleepovers
  Scrub my back, i'll scrub yours
  I want mine
  Good and bad times
  The missed calls
  Dates
  Rainchecks on dates
  Cuddling indoors when it rains
  Holding hands
  Making love
  Multiple orgasms
  Drunk sex- Don't judge
  I want mine
  Making out at the movies
  Picnics at the beach... Wait. Nah. I don't really like the beach
  Massages
  Exchanging letters
  Going for concerts...
  And poetry readings...
  And rap battles
  He'd play an instrument
  I'd recite poetry
  He would be my melody
  Billions of people in the world.
  I want one.
  Who'll give me mine.

• You know i'm crazy right...?

  Posted: March 2, 2009, 11:32 pm by misscaffeineaddict

  I'm the crazy bitter girl in the movies/tv shows...
  You know, the one who over analyses stuff and is always looking for the negative qualities in men, frowning on other relationships and refusing to commit because mr. Right doesn't exist. Nothing within a 10 mile radius of mr. Right exists... Sigh. Well there's been some improvement. I don't frown anymore. Not externally anyway.
  
  Considering the past two years' events, i'm thinking maybe i'll be the bitter passive aggressive single girl for ever. The one whos' friends are asking why they're still single. I used to see that on tv happening to old... Well girls who are way out of their twenties, but here I am, sophomore year and a friend of mine (here's hoping that she never reads this. I knew i should have remained anonymous!) was asking about the last time i dated, and where my love interest is and talking about how i should get a man.
  
  For the past year, i was still still solving personal issues so i knew that's why i was still single. This is the part i, over share... Again... See, i had esteem issues (don't we all) and i didn't want a man to tell me how awesome i am, he could confirm the awesomeness that i was already sure of. I realise i'm drifting so Ummm... Back to topic. Now i'm no where near near perfect and i'd be open to the idea of eating but every dude who tries to hola has an issue. Nothing like a third nipple or hair on his palms... I just get put off by the tiniest things. I have a really low opinion of guys right now.
  
  I took a break from writing this. You know, just to make sure i wasn't going out on a limb with this muse.
  
  There's this freshman. That's all i can say about her. I don't know who might be reading this stuff. I don't need coz drama from school. So yeah. This girl. She's very attractive... And very gay. But it's hot. It's hot that she's a dyke. Not that i get off on that type of thing, it's hot that she knows what she wants. I have no idea what i want... I'm not tryna figure out whether i like guys or girls. God knows i like me some... Mr. Man, but what i want in a man... Clueless. I know exactly what i DON'T want, but i can't keep eliminating what i don't want... It's a really long list. So now what do i do? Ugh... Now i'm rambling...
  
  More of my extinct love life... Or like life... Or even lust life coming up...
  
  Still sighing.
  
  Ooh Ooh, i went grocery shopping today so i get to make a salad for supper:) i make KILLER SALAD!

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes