cdohnio.blogspot.com

• The sides of my Ego

  Posted: December 17, 2010, 12:27 pm by cdohnio

  I feel like writing and all I can seem to think about right now is my ego...more on why in a bit. So I'll talk about the sides of my ego.
  I don't know about y'all but I don't have an ego, I have about 3. Yeah, 3. While all separate entities, each with their own pulse and reason for being, they're interconnected. So what egos are these?
  Well the first, and most prominent of them all, the one you'll probably notice first if you hang around me or my blog is the one that I'm going to call Game. Game is the one that fills me with the belief that I have the skill to talk anyone...and have them charmed, liking me or very impressed with me. Oh, and believe I can do it better than anyone, anywhere. 
  I really can't tell you where this one came from, I just know it's been there for a long time, though not for ever. Maybe it comes from the fact I've always had the ability to make friends easily. I don't know. But I do know what contributed it. The schools I've attended, my friends, my mum, and lesser extent dad, and obviously me.Lets analyze that. I sliced people in school and I was never sliced in school, no matter who tried. My friends are generally ego boosting people otherwise they'd be very poor friends, right? My mum always tells me how handsome I am and what a charmer I am. My dad, well, he has game, I've seen it in action so it always amazes me how he ended up picking my step-mum, anyway by virtue of being his son I inherited some of the skill through genes. And me should be self explanatory.
  The second one and the third are more related to each other, I'll call them Genius and Ability. Genius is the one that makes me feel that if I apply myself to any field of knowledge in the world I can do it rather well, better than most. Meaning that I can learn anything I want and be good at it. Nothing is hard. Ability well I believe I can do anything. Really anything as long as I believe in it. Climb Mt.Everest? Sure why not? Fly a helicoptor? I'll be buying one in future. Juggling? Okay not this one. I'm one person who really hates being told I can't do that, because I believe I can do anything.
  So why am I telling you all this? Well one of my ego's right know is feeling rather deflated and I need to get it back to it usual, exorbidant, levels. Actually it's more of waiting because it will get back to "normal" levels. Some chic is toying with my emotions and I don't like it. It's making me doubt myself a bit and question the level of my game. But never fear, I usually bounce back better than before. After all I have a near infallible belief in myself. Anyway peace!!!

• MAN ON THE MOON II: THE LEGEND OF MR. RAGER

  Posted: December 13, 2010, 12:17 pm by cdohnio

   So this is another guest post by another firend of mine! Actually the girl I told you about here and here. Yeah Mich, that awesome awesome girl I told you about. Well she wrote this for my a long time ago and I was supposed to put it up back then but I've been busy and lazy! So anyway here it is now...
  
  So I'm sure that not many of us know that this is Kid Cudi's 2nd LP that is to be released later this year. I'm sure someone knows what Man on the Moon means, and I used to at a point, but since I've forgotten, pardon the meaning I'll give it today.
  We all know our brains have two sides, just like the moon, a bright side and a dark side. So taking the brain to be a moon, we'd say that there's a man on my moon right now, and his story is quite like Kid Cudi's, so its the legend of Mr. Rager.
  In the dark side of my brain, Mr. Rager is a guy who's gone through quite so much in his life, he should be as dark as the universe without stars, but in the bright side, he's just reflecting sunlight off him to everyone who cares to get warm.
  But there's something about this guy, he's just sticking on the moon, without any plans of getting down to earth, he's getting comfortable on the moon, because its like he's forgotten that even though people will always disappoint him, he'll run out of oxygen one day....
  Now that I'm running out of metaphors... I guess I'll stop there, because this is not my kinda thing, and I'm not wont to say things just like that...so I shall talk about man on the moon 2...
  He's the guy who constantly runs around the moon, trying to stay in the light, as the moon rotates alot, and he's always there to brighten up my nights. I've gone to the extent of building castles in the air for this guy, hoping that he'll find it, because he's trying to get off the moon, and I wouldn't want him to get hurt on his way to earth. Soon enough, he'll catch his flight on Cloud Nine, and he'll become real to me....because he's just a figment of my imagination. But I'd have him anyday over my first man on the moon...who for now is the only man on the brain.
  I don't know if that will make sense to anyone but me,but everyone should get a copy of The Legend of Mr. Rager, and actually listen to what he has to say, because I think there's a lot going on beneath his cheesy smile.
  
  Personally I didn't get it all but atleast some of it was understandable. What did y'all think of it? Share your thoughts in the comments below and I'll let my friend konw what you think.

• Question week:the End

  Posted: December 12, 2010, 12:51 pm by cdohnio

  So I couldn't do a whole week of posts. I'm sorry but I ran out of things to question, I don't know why. Maybe I have nothing else to question or I just haven't figured out what else I'm questioning in my life yet but when I do you'll be some of the first to know.
  
  So this is the official end of questioning week. I like to think I tried my best and I really  hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. So what was your favourite post? Let me know? Until next time, peace!!!

• Questioning week:Dating

  Posted: December 11, 2010, 11:30 am by cdohnio

  So this is the like the 4th day of questioning week and so far so good. I've been able to post something each day so far. Today we talk about dating and perhaps at the end you'll help me answer questions I have.

  A coffee date

  
  A date is an appointment or engagement, especially a social one with a member of the opposite sex. That's what my phone dictionary tells me, and I quite agree, anyone with a different interpretation feel free to share it in the comments. It’s a simple enough definition and we can begin with that. NOTE: This will be told from my point of view so it’ll be biased to what might be "the guy" side.
  The purpose of a date is to get to know the other person and find out if you're compatible. You might as well call it an interview. The first is usually nervous and strained with awkward silences. You sit across from each other staring at each other wondering why you even decided to do it in the first place ‘till one of you (usually the dude) gets the balls to talk and depending, on if you’re as skilled as meJ, a conversation gets started. Topics are mainly superficial.  Depending on just how well the first date went the second date is more relaxed than the last and you delve deeper into each others lives. This is the one where it is decided if they’ll be another or not. And so you if date for long enough, and well enough, you just may end up girlfriend and boyfriend.
  Based on what I’ve just said the most important things when on a date are to get your date comfortable, entertained and engaged. All these things I know I can do but there’s a part that I’ve not yet mentioned. The part that bothers me the most, one of the reasons I don’t date. In a bid to impress said chic I’ll obviously pay for the first few dates also I’ll have to take her to place that has the right atmosphere. Unfortunately the right atmosphere is bloody expensive! The food there is well beyond what someone my age can afford.
  Then there’s the fact that the part you’re seeing of the other person and of yourself isn’t exactly the honest truth or rather the best of you. The ugly part remains cleverly hidden or cloaked in endearing words. That’s why you find people getting married and then saying (s)he’s no longer like the (wo)man I used to date.
  If you’re lucky enough not to be affected by these there’s always the chance that you’ll be cheated not once or twice but severally! I’ve seen it happen even with some of my friends. Faithfulness is fast becoming the stuff you read about in story books and in fast fading myths. All these and my own personal issues with life in general make me think twice about dating anyone.
  So why is it I feel some kind of pressure from my friends and society to date? While I’ve since learnt to ignore that pressure I still think about it from time to time. Why chic’s standards are so high? What’s the point of it all anyway? Is it a form of materialism? Or am I just broke and bitter about it? Either way I’m not going to be dating for a long while. Peace!

• Questioning Week: God

  Posted: December 10, 2010, 1:19 pm by cdohnio

  Today I ask questions about God but before i do a little background would be good. My parents divorced some nearly 5 years ago. Since then things haven't been exactly easy for my mum. She's always been short on cash and can't seen to be able to do much. She's a very strong Christian. My dad has had smooth sail as far as I can tell, very well paying top job and new wife. He has lives quite comfortably. I've never seen him in a church or praying in all my life.
  
  My mum believes that my dad will one day pay for the sins he has committed, and believe me they're not small ones, that God will have the last word, that her blessing is coming. Well that last word is taking its sweet time to arrive! I'm not trying to be blasphmas or anything but there's only so much time someone can wait.
  
  When I was in my last year school I believed that God had told me that sometime soon after I left school that things were  going to change, that I'd find things changed. I prayed that year, a lot. I remember telling God that if that didn't happen I was gone, for good, that I'd stop caring about obeying His laws and begin to live life on my own rules.
  
  It's been nearly two years since I told Him that.
  
  Nothing has changed as far as I can see and the status quo remains the same. So what does that mean for me? Well I left God and all that behind for a time. I stopped praying at all, didn't read the bible and scorned anything said in church(I still went because it'd've hurt my mum so if I stopped). There was even I time I would get so angry at the sermon that I wanted to scream at the pastor! I'd leave church those times.
  
  But I couldn't remain impartial to what I saw and I have a brian. I thought about it long and hard and decided that there was a God somewhere after all this a round us had to have been created by someone or something. Its all too neatly arranged too perfectly formed. But what i ahven't decided on is if he cares? Or he just look down and think look about what a poor disappointment we turned out to be? If he hasn't turned his back on us, why aren't the murderer, liars, cheats and rapists been punished? But far more importantly why keep some one so faithful to him like my Mum waiting for His justice? After all that he's not done do you really blame me for asking does God give a damn? Peace.

• Questioning Week: Religion

  Posted: December 9, 2010, 5:18 pm by cdohnio

  Today I'm going to talk about religion. I'm not so sure how long I can write about it so we'll see how far I go. I'm a Christian and to be more specific Seventh Day Adventist. I go to church on Saturday while most other Christians do this on Sunday.
  
  
  There probably several hundred devisions of Christianity in the world. We have Catholic, Pentecostal, Baptist, Protestant, Angilcan and our very own home bred, Finger of God church just to mention a few. I personally belive my church is the right one and you probably believe yours is the right one so how can you ever be sure?
  
  More than that we also have several religions. How can anyone be sure that theirs is the right one? Anyway all major religions have serious skeltons in their back ground. Christians had the crusades in which million of "barbarian" people were killed, Muslims have a more mordern version of this in which they bomb theyselves and others in the name of God. Both owned slaves. With all this how can anyone be sure about anything?
  
  Anyway almost all mordern religions are less than 3000 years ago and if you believe like I do that we where created atleast 7000years ago whom did we worship back then? How did we do it? Why did we stop? And what about indiginous communities on Africa before importation? These are matters of faith I agree but still when you doubt you ask these same questions. And couldn't religion just be some sort of control(like in the Matrix) to keep society and human being spiralling out of control? And when does faith have to stop and logic keep in? Peace!

• Questioning Week: Love and Friendship

  Posted: December 8, 2010, 11:17 am by cdohnio

  I promised I'd do a post a day and I'm trying to do my best to do so. Today we actually start the very first topic of my questioning week, love. This seemly complex thing that we all seek after in one way or another.
  
  My dictionary describes love as an intense feeling of deep affection or a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. But when ever most of use use it we're talking about out boyfriends or girlfriends and the second description. Even then its not a word we use casually.
  
  
  It's something of a big deal to say something like "I love you" to someone we're dating. Peoople send a lot of time trying to discover whether they really love someone. Others obsess over when they'll final hear these three words, "I love you", from their significant other.
  
  A long while back me and my best girl friend were talking aboout how freely I use the words "I love you". I told her that I could tell any chic I know that loved her. By know here I meant my friends. And she said I can't love them all and that I was lying to them but I asked her, "You and me are close, right? And you do you think I have great love for you?" She answered yes "Doesn't that mean I love you? And you love me back? So if I said I love you, I'm not lying am I? It's not my fault if the girl chooses to interpret that any other way or if she doesn't bother to clearify because she's scared of the answer. What you should ask be asking your boyfriend is 'Are you in love with me?' Anyway" I explained to her, "I have different levels of love for everyone"
  
  I have a group of friends that I grew up with. And I really mean grew up with. We played hide and seek, had water fights and rode bikes together. As we grew older we somehow began clam down  and mellow out until a point where we did nothing but hang out at our spot in the estate we called "the Bench" and just talked and laughed and argued and fought. We  may not all still live in the same estate, we've scattered, others out of the country, but we still hang out when ever we can. I have lots of love for these guys, they've individually and collectively taken me through a lot.
  
  These friends of mine have been with me for over 7 years! Surely they mean more to me than a relationship I've been in 6 months? My very best friend and I have known each other most of our lives. This is one friendship that has survived several long separations, 5 countries and 2 continents. Is this love anymore less serious than the one I'd feel for my girlfriend? So why is it we seem to send so much more time concentrating and working on the love we have for our gfs/bfs?
  
  Why is it the words "I love you" seem to mean so much? Hasn't the use of this phrase distorted and diluted the true meaning of love? Is it wrong that I feel love for all my friends and choose to tell them using those words? Or am I confusing my feelings? Why isn't the word love used more often, to describe things like friendships. Why is it such a big deal when used within a relationship? Have you ever thought of this? Let me know...comment. Peace!!

• Questioning Week

  Posted: December 7, 2010, 10:58 am by cdohnio

  I'd been reading a blog(Rainbow Amoeba's Petri Dish) that had something she called Questioning Week. She had just moved her blog to a new site and was also celebrating the 4th Anniversary since the evening in her own words
  "during which I realized I needed to reconsider my assumed and never questioned heterosexuality, I thought I might as well tell the story of what exactly happened then."
  I encourage you all to go read the 7 posts she did because in my opinion they're great pieces that I might even one day feature here.(If she allows that is)
  
  So what am I saying with all this? Well I was inspired to question several things that confuse me and see if I could get honest answers about what I think and feel about various things that I've always taken for granted. This whole week starting today, until when I run out of things to question, hopefully 7 days from now, I'll be questioning something different each day. I'll try to be as honest as possible. I don't want to say what they all are now because I want you to check in tomorrow and the day after but I will say that the first will be love. See you tomorrow for what I think will be a rather interesting post(If i may say so myself:)). Peace!

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes