Items by thegreencalabash

The Green Calabash

• Bringing Baby Home

  Posted: November 29, 2010, 9:58 am by thegreencalabash

  I don’t know how else to phrase it so I’m just going to go ahead and say that the first few days at home with Ella were horrible. You, read that correctly – ho-rri-ble. It was by far the most emotionally and physically draining time of my life. Let’s put it another way shall we? I would rather [...]

• A Birth Story

  Posted: November 22, 2010, 12:52 pm by thegreencalabash

   Wednesday, November 3rd 2010 11 a.m. – I wake up (Don’t judge me. In my defense I had been up for a full hour in the wee hours of the morning with false labor pains). I wake up feeling fine but I have a stinking suspicion that my water may have broken or at least [...]

• She’s Here! (And why last week was the best week ever)

  Posted: November 11, 2010, 9:30 am by thegreencalabash

  She’s here! I can hardly believe it myself. Our little Ella was born on November 4, 2010. She’s the primary reason for my week-long silence ( and bloodshot eyes and bushy eyebrows AND overgrown toenails - oh dear, I just described Big Foot didn’t I? ). I have so much to say about labor (not what I expected), newborns (definitely not [...]

• Premature Exhilaration

  Posted: November 3, 2010, 8:45 am by thegreencalabash

  You know why I didn’t post anything on Monday? Because I thought I was in labor. Again. And I was wrong. AGAIN. I’m beginning to think that this baby is just toying with me…what kind of sociopath am I bringing into the world?  Teasing an exhausted pregnant woman with the finish line? WHO DOES THAT? [...]

• Weight Watcher

  Posted: October 28, 2010, 8:59 pm by thegreencalabash

  On Monday I had my second to last doctor’s appointment before my due date. As usual, the appointment began with the command to pee in a cup whereupon I proceeded to give one of my worst performances to date (I was running late and didn’t have enough time to drink the gallon of water it [...]

• I bet you thought I didn’t. But I did. So, there.

  Posted: October 25, 2010, 8:39 pm by thegreencalabash

  Remember when I said that my afternoons were utterly boring and that I was going to take up some sort of crafting activity but I didn’t know what I was going to do because I’m not any good at that sort of stuff but I was going to give it a shot anyway because doggonit [...]

• Are We There Yet?

  Posted: October 21, 2010, 8:32 pm by thegreencalabash

  I have been pregnant for the whole of 2010. Just about. March to November is pretty much the whole year. The fact that I’ve experienced all four seasons while preggo should at least count for something. The beginning of my pregnancy caught the remnants of the frigid winter weather and consequently, Winter 2010 will forever [...]

• Birth Plan

  Posted: October 18, 2010, 9:14 pm by thegreencalabash

  So, apparently, one of the major decisions leading up to delivery is whether or not one will be taking pain medication during labor. Usually, the question is framed in a round-the-bush sort of way like, ‘Have you thought about your birth plan?’ In the beginning, clueless as I was, I used to be all like [...]

• Stuff I’ll Miss About Pregnancy

  Posted: October 14, 2010, 9:09 pm by thegreencalabash

  This is a blatant effort to cheer myself up. To remind myself that pregnancy is a wonderful thing that should be embraced fully before it’s over. I need this to maintain my sanity. So, here goes: these are the things I’ll miss about being preggo.  Eating, eating, eating I have milked this cow for all [...]

• At the Doctor’s

  Posted: October 11, 2010, 8:20 pm by thegreencalabash

  I can’t wait until this peeing in a cup business is over. I have to do this every week at the doctor’s office, whether I have pee in my system or not. As soon as the nurse sees me approaching the reception desk, she starts to fish for that damn cup. And it’s no small cup [...]

• Search!

  Posted: October 7, 2010, 5:29 pm by thegreencalabash

  The last thing I want is for anybody to encounter disappointment when they visit this blog. I have no doubt however, that disappointment is exactly what one particular individual was filled with when he (I’m pretty sure it was a he) conducted a particular web search on Tuesday. Take a look below…   Before we [...]

• Cry Me a River

  Posted: October 4, 2010, 5:43 pm by thegreencalabash

  Have you ever just felt the need to cry it out? Like the only thing that could possibly relieve your frustration/sadness/anger/irritability was a serious, woe-is-me crying session? Well, I have. And I’ve found that in the absence of my usual soothers (wine, caffeine, WINE, etc) crying has become my preferred stress reliever. Besides, nobody is [...]

• Dear Baby

  Posted: September 30, 2010, 5:37 pm by thegreencalabash

  Dear Baby,  Hi. It’s me, your mother. I don’t think we’ve been formerly introduced yet which I think is totally weird, given that you’re inside of me and everything. I won’t take up too much of your time…I just have a few things that I wanted to run by you, if that’s ok?  I’m fully [...]

• Sleep (or the lack thereof)

  Posted: September 27, 2010, 5:29 pm by thegreencalabash

  Sleep. Oh, how I took you for granted! How I miss the days when I could jump into bed, lay on my tummy and enjoy the next 13 or so hours of bliss! (Yes, I have been known to sleep until 2 pm or later, without so much as a stir. Don’t judge me.) What [...]

• People Should Just Be Quiet When Standing In Line

  Posted: September 23, 2010, 5:43 pm by thegreencalabash

  So, last week I decided to reward myself for enduring yet another week of pregnancy by going to Starbucks on Friday afternoon. I firmly believe in rewarding oneself for feats of perseverance. (Yes, perseverance. Between the heartburn, aching hips, facial acne, fetal kicks to the bladder and lack of alcohol, I feel damn right entitled.) [...]

• I make milk. What’s your superpower?

  Posted: September 20, 2010, 5:22 pm by thegreencalabash

  As I mentioned before, we had yet another seminar to attend this past Saturday. This time, the topic was breastfeeding. Thank goodness it was 3 hours long and not 8 hours like the last seminar…I think hearing the words breast and nipple repeated over and over again for 3 hours is quite enough.    Here is [...]

• Too random? Probably.

  Posted: September 16, 2010, 5:50 pm by thegreencalabash

  I often wonder if my husband secretly suspects that I’m mad. Sometimes, I manage to surprise even myself with how random I can be. Take Tuesday morning for instance. He had just kissed me goodbye and was about to head out to work when just as he reached for the door handle, I told him [...]

• Great Expectations

  Posted: September 13, 2010, 5:51 pm by thegreencalabash

  This past weekend we spent our entire Saturday attending an 8 hour pre-natal seminar for first time parents. Yes, you read that correctly – 8 hour seminar. The length of the class is a direct representation of how thoroughly dense we are about the process of childbirth. Not wanting to offend us, they named the [...]

• What’s for dinner?

  Posted: September 8, 2010, 6:30 pm by thegreencalabash

  Dinner. Ugh. Usually by the time 6 p.m. rolls around I’ve worked myself into a serious depression over the question of what I’m going to make for dinner. You see, I have a love-hate relationship with cooking. I can go for a few months where my cooking is exciting and inspired and filled with love [...]

• Making Room for Baby

  Posted: September 2, 2010, 5:50 pm by thegreencalabash

  This weekend we finally got around to buying a crib and holy crap are those things gigantic or what?! A ten year old can fit in that freaking thing. It has completely and utterly taken over our bedroom. So now, we’re mourning the loss of our lusty love shack, our steamy sex cove, our…who am [...]

• Meditation – Take 1

  Posted: August 30, 2010, 5:54 pm by thegreencalabash

  So on Friday I decided to try out my meditation CD for the very first time. Thanks to Amazon’s spiteful policy of giving a month long window for possible delivery, I had spent a week stalking the mailman. Needless to say, we were both relieved when it finally arrived on Thursday. The CD came with [...]

• Everyday I’m Hustlin’

  Posted: August 26, 2010, 6:24 pm by thegreencalabash

  These are the confessions of a hustlin’ housewife (I’m sorry but does “hustlin’ housewife” sound like the title of a low-budget porn to anyone else? No? Ok, never mind).  Confession #1: I re-use Ziplock bags You remember how you kindly packed a few brownies for me after your party last weekend? You BEST believe that [...]

• The Little Housewife That Could

  Posted: August 23, 2010, 5:46 pm by thegreencalabash

  Before I get on with this post, let me first acknowledge that my use of the word ‘little’ in the title above is extremely laughable because there is NOTHING little about me right now. 7 months pregnant or not, I feel (and most definitely look) like a beached whale. My belly seriously grows at the [...]

• Thursday Things

  Posted: August 19, 2010, 6:24 pm by thegreencalabash

  1. Happiness is an attitude.  We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong.  The amount of work is the same.  ~Francesca Reigler.  And with that quote in mind, please watch this short, too-cute-for-words video. 2. A while ago, Kuweni Serious released this fantastic piece in the effort to ‘fight the evil forces of apathy’ that [...]

• The Desperate Housewife

  Posted: August 17, 2010, 2:08 am by thegreencalabash

  Desperately BORED, that is. Now I completely understand why housewives get into all types of mischief,  like the ever popular sordid love affair with the surprisingly-muscular-for-his-age pool boy. It’s the afternoon boredom! My mornings are great – they bustle with energy and productivity; with my new routine I wake up early (let’s just agree that 8:30 a.m. [...]

• So, what do you do?

  Posted: August 11, 2010, 12:35 am by thegreencalabash

  You have no idea how frequently the topic of occupation comes up in casual conversation until you have no occupation to speak of. I have increasingly come to dread meeting new people because the question of what I do for a living will undoubtedly come up within the first few seconds of dialogue.  The typical [...]

• Eat, Pray, Love, (Clean)

  Posted: August 9, 2010, 12:41 am by thegreencalabash

  In my previous post I declared that from today henceforth I would begin to live out my joblessness a.k.a housewife life in a healthier and happier manner. As contradictory as it may seem, the couch potato life that I have been living is not only exhausting but it’s not that enjoyable either. It’s one thing [...]

• Oh Crap. I’m a housewife.

  Posted: August 6, 2010, 3:55 am by thegreencalabash

  And I’m not just a housewife, I’m a CRAPPY housewife. I despise cleaning, I love sleeping in and I would rather watch a Real Housewives marathon than do anything constructive around my home. Let me give you a quick run down on how I got to this point in life: I graduated with an MBA just [...]

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Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes