Items by ritch

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• Kibaki the Marionette

  Posted: April 9, 2008, 1:41 pm by ritch

• Get This Over and Done With

  Posted: April 7, 2008, 11:26 am by ritch

  
  P.S. I agree with Sam Okello when he says (in his post:Horror That Was Planned For Kenya), "What I've realised, by reading this twenty five-page dossier, is that we are where we are purely by divine intervention. The Lord used..." I agree with you Bro with the whole of my being. Rarely do you see countries rising up so fast from the mire of near-genocide.
  
  It has taken the Lord's hand for us to be where we are. But, it seems, some of the people in the powers-that-be are taking this for granted.
  
  This country needs people of integrity and not people who will pay lip service to matters of national import.
  
  Jameni (please) spare us the pain of reliving the past. Get this thing over and done with...

• April First’s Here

  Posted: March 31, 2008, 12:32 pm by ritch

  Tomorrow is April fools day. Many people are going to be lied to, cheated and duped without having an inkling of what’s going on.
  Some newspapers and other media outlets will go an extra mile to come up with ‘shocker’ stories, scintillating headlines and lead stories (that they will call April fools stories on 2nd of April!).
  
  I remember, when I was in high school, some fourth form students played an Aprils fools trick on first formers that literally (nay!) broke my ribs. I laughed myself hoarse. (Form one students used to be called MONOS in some other schools but we used to call them RABBLES at Starehe).
  
  The rabbles were woken up very early that Saturday April First by the form fours. They were told, categorically, that they were to take their mattresses to the school laundry for washing (oh, save me the…!).
  
  In their naivety, they took up their mattresses and bounded towards the school laundry. It was a sight to behold! Mattresses of all colours and sizes could be seen gracing the ‘air’ of the school. Poor boys! They didn’t even realise that they were playing the ‘lead roles’ in the comedy that was being produced by the form four students!!
  
  The laundry man (a Mr. Mugendi), on seeing the sea of humanity bounding towards the laundry building (with mattresses in the air), just shook his head not knowing what to think. He stood at the door and waited for the ‘gullible guys’. When they got to where he was, they set their mattresses down and waited to be told what to do ‘next’.
  
  “We have brought the mattresses,” they said. Mr. Mugendi just looked at them and asked to know the whys and wherefores. On hearing the reason why they had brought their mattresses, he burst into a long, raucous and guttural laughter.
  
  “My boys, it is April fools day. They have made fools of you. We don’t launder mattresses here. I don’t think you do that at your homes, either. Or do you?”
  
  With egg on their faces, the rabbles took up their ‘belongings’ and trudged back to their dorms vowing in their hearts that they would pull someone’s leg come next April fools.
  
  Be careful that no one pulls your leg tomorrow, won’t you?
  
  Can You Work Out These Puzzles?

• Mobitelea?

  Posted: March 28, 2008, 6:22 am by ritch

  
  
  Kenyans have been through too much: Please don't RIP them off their 'birth right' this once.

• Kumekucha Social Check: Our Young Men

  Posted: March 27, 2008, 11:01 am by ritch

  Why you are extremely corrupt if you buy into Safaricom shares
  
  The other day I found myself 'inadvertently' eavesdropping on the conversation of some two young men. They were talking about Aids, sex and marriage.
  
  One of them was saying that men (quite an outlandish generalization!) cannot do without sex. He went on to say that as long as a man is 'functioning' then sex is the sure release of his building pressure.
  
  Then the insalubrious 'party pooper' was brought into the picture: Aids. They fear Aids (who doesn’t?). Talking of Aids as if talking of the weather is sheer madness (what I learnt from what they were saying). They said that with Aids lurking somewhere in the shadows of 'after sex' then a tricky situation had plunged headlong onto the scene.
  
  One of the two (a bachelor, I learnt) said that with Aids marring the beautiful picture that once gleamed in the light, marriage had become a no-tread zone to many a young man. He said that he would 'marry' for two or three years and, after getting a kid or two, tell the woman (read wife),
  "Your time's up. Pack your bags and leave!" He would retain the children (with that, he would have accomplished his goal in life!).
  
  They viewed sex as a way of letting off 'steam' and marriage as a 'factory' for making children; after that: to hell with it!
  
  My Take
  This is a dim view of reality. Sex and marriage are beautiful things created by God. Sex serves its purpose divinely in the context of marriage. And marriage is more than just 'where children are made' but rather where we learn to use our God-given talents to benefit each other (the married) in exciting ways that increase the gushes and torrents of love.
  
  Still on the issue of marriage, sample what Bishop T.D. Jakes has to say to the married and the ones aspiring to be married one day.
  
  What it means to be Married:
  
  "To the one you are marrying you are saying: when my time comes to leave this world, when the chill of eternity blows away my birthdays and my future stands still in the night, it's your face I want to kiss goodbye. It's your hand I want to squeeze, as I slip from time to eternity. As the curtain closes on all I have attempted to do and be, I want to look into your eyes and see that I mattered. Not what I looked like or how much money I made, or even how talented I was. I just want to look into the eyes of someone who loved me and see that I mattered."
  
  This is quite a huge price tag attached to the marriage institution and certainly the missing piece in the jigsaw.
  
  Spouses out there 'for better or for worse' please don't do this to your partner.

• Hope at the End of the Dark Tunnel for Zimbabwe?

  Posted: March 26, 2008, 10:09 am by ritch

  Zimbabweans go to the polls this weekend amid so much pressure. What with soaring commodity prices and inflation past the 100,000% mark and still 'heating up'.
  
  President Mugabe called for the reduction of commodity prices yesterday but least can be done about it, as it were. One only wonders why politicians think that the electorate are dunder heads and can not understand what is happening.
  
  We hope that the three contestants for the presidential seat have the interests of the country at heart. If they don't, then the country is headed for EVEN harder times.
  
  Mr Mugabe
  
  Dr Simba Makoni
  
  
  Mr Morgan Tsvangirai
  
  
  
  
  ODM Statement on Controversial Safaricom IPO
  

• A Man’s World

  Posted: March 25, 2008, 7:05 am by ritch

  This is a recollection of my growing up as a boy at Eastlands in Nairobi.
  
  Tears well in my eyes,
  As memories reign supreme,
  Memories less flattering,
  Memories that still linger.
  
  I once was,
  A small boy of pity,
  Helpless, weak,
  And depended, for support, on mother.
  
  When the boy next door,
  Came brandishing his fist,
  I scurried to mother calling,
  And only insulted at her side.
  
  I was jeered at,
  By other boys,
  Who had the energy to waste,
  Playing their dirty paper ball!
  
  The slightest,
  Bullying and punching,
  Broke my heart of glass,
  And hot tears streamed my cheeks.
  
  Softie, mother’s boy,
  Were their descriptions of me,
  Girlish boy, they sneered,
  As a sock came hurtling my way.
  
  How vulnerable I was,
  How puerile,
  Stupid, even,
  For a boy to expect a smooth sail.
  
  In the evening, my father chided,
  Son, taking a loaded punch,
  Swallowing a maiming insult,
  Are the ingredients of a man’s world.
  
  P.S.:- Whatever happens in this country, I'll always be proud to be a Kenyan!!
  

• A Man’s World

  Posted: March 25, 2008, 6:50 am by ritch

  This is a recollection of my growing up as a boy at Eastlands in Nairobi.
  
  Tears well in my eyes,
  As memories reign supreme,
  Memories less flattering,
  Memories that still linger.
  
  I once was,
  A small boy of pity,
  Helpless, weak,
  And depended, for support, on mother.
  
  When the boy next door,
  Came brandishing his fist,
  I scurried to mother calling,
  And only insulted at her side.
  
  I was jeered at,
  By other boys,
  Who had the energy to waste,
  Playing their dirty paper ball!
  
  The slightest,
  Bullying and punching,
  Broke my heart of glass,
  And hot tears streamed my cheeks.
  
  Softie, mother’s boy,
  Were their descriptions of me,
  Girlish boy, they sneered,
  As a sock came hurtling my way.
  
  How vulnerable I was,
  How puerile,
  Stupid, even,
  For a boy to expect a smooth sail.
  
  In the evening, my father chided,
  Son, taking a loaded punch,
  Swallowing a maiming insult,
  Are the ingredients of a man’s world.
  
  P.S.:- Whatever happens in this country, I'll always be proud to be a Kenyan!!
  

• The Ignorance that breaks many a Marriage

  Posted: March 21, 2008, 4:07 am by ritch

  Are You a Thankful Being? By Ritch
  
  How Smart is Our Prime Minister? By Wanjiku Unlimited
  
  Introducing Dawa Ya Kumekucha (D.K.) By Chris
  
  “David, David! We are waiting for you and your wife in the sitting room. Don’t forget to come with the proof,” George, David’s father, said loudly outside his son’s bedroom.
  
  Assembled in the sitting room were the elders of the clan, uncles, aunts and David’s mother. The day before, they had witnessed the colourful wedding of their son to Susan, a tall beautiful lady. This is the same one they were all gathered to ‘crown’ as their ‘new’ daughter. But first, “Had she passed the acid test?”
  
  The people gathered in the sitting room were growing impatient. David’s mother broke the silence by mumbling something about David and his wife taking too long, and shuffled her feet towards her son’s bedroom to remind them of their critical obligation to the ‘clan’!
  David, in response, asked to be given two minutes for they were still preparing themselves. “Mum, you know it has been a long night. We’ve hardly slept a wink.” Even in the heat of the moment, his mother understood, or so she thought, that that was a joke and laughed heartily, in spite of herself.
  
  “Two minutes! We don’t have the whole day here. Your uncles and aunts have to travel back to their homes today. You know what I mean.”
  
  Inside the room, David and his wife were confused.
  Read More…
  
  Have a happy Easter!

• Are You a Thankful Being?

  Posted: March 20, 2008, 5:55 am by ritch

  How vulnerable is Prime Minister Odinga?
  
  It beats me when people say one thing while in essence they mean something totally different: they say 'red' when they mean 'black'. This kind of vacillation is very evident especially in matters concerning the weather. When it's cold, they want it hot; when it's hot, they want it freezing! (Blue blistering b…!)
  
  The poem below, which I wrote on 5th of May 1997, was occasioned by this human response to the capricious quality of weather.
  
  God's Country
  
  The sun rises with renewed anger,
  With rage, it 'serves' its heat,
  To the life below;
  People cower,
  Plants shrink and droop –
  Heat by day, cold by night,
  Days turn to months.
  
  Plants, angered by this routine,
  Refuse to bear fruit,
  Making futile the efforts of man,
  To till, level and sow,
  On dry ground,
  Famine envelops the country
  
  Leaves turn brown and crispy,
  Shed they are, wanted no more,
  Plants wither and zap! disappear,
  People grow thin
  And, a ‘sun tan's’ a must.
  
  After months on end,
  Clouds sparsely gather,
  Becoming a big, black mass,
  They growl, declaring war on sun,
  Then they spit to the ground,
  Their hard-earned spittle.
  
  Plants less with anger,
  And full of bloom, sprout,
  Giving the country a green,
  Expanse of leafy mass,
  That promises fruit,
  To hungry beings.
  
  People gain weight,
  Eating the fruits of their labour;
  But then:
  Mud spoils their shoes,
  Colds cost their pay,
  The weather spoils their day,
  Is all thanks they have to God.
  
  P.S.:- I love good poetry. I also love to write poems, in addition to other forms of writing. PKW, I love your poem, The Road in Flamingo. Hilarious, it is. The imagery it encapsulates is overly fascinating.
  
  
  Other Articles That Have Caught Kumekucha's Attention

  Horror from African Safari: Gory scene not fit for TV as lions fail to find their usual prey

  Food can kill you: Conclusive evidence shows that this famous rich man ate himself to death
  
  Husband cuts off wife’s two arms up to the elbow for failing to give birth to a boy

  
  

• Sunday Doodles: Of Rides and Crazy Fellows

  Posted: March 16, 2008, 11:27 am by ritch

  Have you ever travelled at the back of an open lorry on a rough, bumpy, country road? If you have, then, the poem below 'holds' a similar experience. I promise you, it’s not the best of experiences.
  
  A ride I took on 22nd of December the year 2001 occasioned the poem below. I was travelling to a certain part of Central Kenya (some kilometres from Nyahururu) to attend the wedding ceremony of a friend. The place was Shamata.
  To digress, Shamata is well known for two principal things: biting cold and potatoes. When I arrived at Shamata, I looked like a baboon as I had ridden at the back of a lorry. What with dust all over my face, clothes and shoes; swollen hands and a throbbing headache! (And to think I was to attend a wedding…) I hate to remember the experience.
  
  Rough, Bumpy Ride
  
  'twas on 22nd of December,
  The year two thousand and one,
  When the mother of all bumpy rides,
  Called out my three names.
  
  I took my place in the lorry;
  Sweet peace inundated my heart,
  As I thought of a smooth ride,
  A ride to 'potato-infested' Shamata.
  
  Hell broke loose,
  When this crazy fellow,
  Took the steering wheel,
  And slammed on the gas pedal.
  
  I was thrown up and backwards,
  I danced sideways, east and west,
  My whole body shook,
  My blood froze.
  
  My eyes popped out,
  As I saw death calling me;
  All the while, the crazy fellow,
  Drove on in murderous frenzy.
  
  In and out of every pothole,
  Was the name of the game;
  As I bumped my head,
  I said my last prayer:
  
  God you created this crazy guy,
  You created me in the same style,
  Why should I lose my life,
  Because of his madness, why Lord?
  
  God at once said:
  I created you, Yes,
  But I don't remember,
  Telling you to be in this lorry!
  
  With every mile we took,
  Dust masked my face,
  Red-brown dust,
  Made me a human baboon.
  
  As the lorry creaked and wailed,
  So did my bones threaten,
  Threaten to break,
  If the crazy fellow didn't stop.
  
  I cried and called out,
  But the engine swallowed my voice,
  So, ofcourse, I had no choice,
  But to swallow the bitter pill.
  
  At last,
  The lorry drew to a stop,
  After swallowing miles without number,
  Miles I will live to curse.
  
  The 'back' was opened,
  And out jumped a baboon,
  A baboon in white shirt and checked coat,
  A baboon that asked for water.
  
  All who saw me,
  Nearly ran for their lives,
  And shook their heads at a distance,
  Wondering, why a baboon in Shamata.
  
  But all said and nearly done,
  I'll live to hate crazy fellows,
  I'll live to detest blue lorries,
  Which love to create baboons.
  
  P.S.: - The driver of the lorry, an acquaintance of mine, was travelling to Shamata to get a consignment of potatoes to transport to Nairobi. I thought that by taking the lorry I would be saving on fare. But, in essence, I lost so much more than I had hoped to gain.
  
  My two cents worth: Think twice before you plunge into things that you think could save you a certain cost. You could end up regretting!

• Recollection: Unnecessary Semantics?

  Posted: March 12, 2008, 9:37 am by ritch

  Latest article by Phil: Stopping the political tsunami that is Raila
  
  Using Security To Play Deadly Political Chess Games
  
  The year 2006 was an year that saw the conspicuous emergence of hate words being bandied about between Kenyans and Tanzanians especially online. Blogs were the ever ready wind that fanned the flame into a roaring fire.
  
  Both these peoples haughtily flaunted their strong points. They also levelled scathing criticism against each other. Strings of expletives were added to the whole mix, to add colour!
  
  Kenyans paraded their ‘mastery’ of the Queen’s language as their first strong point against their Tanzanian counterparts.
  “Tanzanians don’t know English!” was the snap retort of many a Kenyan.
  
  Tanzanians responded by explaining how Kenyans didn’t have any idea what was meant by ‘good’ Kiswahili.
  “Nyie wala Kiswahili hamkijui. Mnajifanya na Kiingereza chenu hicho. Lugha ya kikoloni, haifai chochote!” was the snap rejoinder from many a Tanzanian
  
  Kenyans relished every detail of how Tanzanians were deemed lazy. This was not taken kindly. Tempers flared; ‘war cries’ were uttered; disdain and condescension took centre stage in the whole shebang.
  
  But that’s besides my point today.
  
  There’s a time, in the same year, when the President of Tanzania Jakaya Kikwete was caught in the crossfire. This was after his reported discussion of the ‘political instability’ of Kenya with President George Bush.
  
  Tempers flared within and without the Kenyan borders. To many, this seemed to be the height of contempt. The government of Kenya was not left out in the rhetoric that ensued.
  
  I remember that around the same time Jakaya Kikwete was quizzed by a Tanzanian journalist about the Bush – Kikwete discussion that had opened the floodgates of mistrust. He brushed it aside by saying: “Tusifike huko, Tuyaache hayo mambo yalivyo.”
  
  Many questions were asked by all and sundry. I also asked a question that received an answer from New York trying to explain what had happened.
  
  Kumekucha asked his own questions in the form of an amusing tongue-in-cheek post .
  
  What I found ironic about the whole thing, recently, was when Jakaya Kikwete was called upon to help in the mediation process after Kenya had suffered a nasty political and socio-economic blow.
  
  He was very instrumental in the signing of the peace accord that would see the end to the then prevailing “political instability”. Did the “political instability” discussion that he had had with George Bush two years ago come to his mind?
  
  Have a smashing day, dear brethren

• Of Misconstruction and the Weight of Words

  Posted: March 8, 2008, 5:27 am by ritch

  Why nobody wants to be in the opposition
  
  I first read the words that I have reproduced here below when I was a student at Starehe Boys' Centre – Nairobi. During my student years, these words gave me the drive to do my best even when failure looked me in the face.
  
  They got me into a grave problem once, when I started working, – I was fired! I lost a job that was my lifeline at the time. The day before I was fired, I had handwritten them and glued (so crude of me!) the sheet of paper on the Notice Board for my colleagues to read and get inspired.
  
  Little did I know that the Manager would consider the words an insult to the company and his person. He tore the paper and bounded menacingly to his office with the shreds in his hands. He sent someone to call me. Having witnessed the unfolding 'melodrama' I knew I would be in for it. How right my premonition was!
  
  I was summarily dismissed and only a vague explanation warranting the action was forthcoming. I later pieced the pieces of the jigsaw and came to know the why and wherefore of the unwarranted dismissal. He had thought my aim was to kindle the ire of the workers against him – what with poor pay, unconducive working environment and a lack of transparency. But my aim was far from that.
  Anyway, situations like these hone and shape us, don't they?
  Sample the piece…
  
  
  STRUGGLE IS THE PURPOSE OF LIFE
  
  You want the good things in life. You want more money, power and status in the office. You want to drive around town in a spanking new car. And you want to invite your many friends to your sprawling house to meet your beautiful wife and charming children. Also you want a healthy body, a quicker wit and a more sparkling personality.
  
  Well, you can have all these and many more if you are willing to pay the price. These things are expensive, very expensive. And for most people, too expensive. They demand more than wealth or talent. They demand courage. The courage to work hard even when you feel underpaid and unrecognized. The guts to keep working hard.
  
  Essentially life demands struggle. Everyday has to be a day of struggle. Once one can accept this stark truth as something positive, one can start to get ahead. Struggle allows us to refine our talents. It is the intense heat that burns the dross. It is the alchemy that turns one into pure gold.
  
  There is no magic in the real world. In fantasy, wonderful things happen of their own accord. But this is not the way the real world works. The universal law is simple: YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.
  
  If you are tired, it is not due to struggle. Struggle does not tire: it uplifts and rejuvenates: it brings about the best in the human spirit.
  If you feel that life is hard, you have not faced your toughest adversity: Your own negative thinking. Struggle means pushing ahead no matter what. It means investing your hopes and energies even in a cause that seems hopeless. Struggle is a mark of heroism, and the difference between winners and losers.
  
  Life is for the living. It is a struggle, challenge, change, disaster and triumph. Forget your multiple fortunes. If you can forge a win of iron by fighting through the thick of misfortune then the world is your oyster. There is no easy way to reap what you think you deserve. You have to fight for it all the way.
  
  At this moment you are where you deserve to be. If you are surrounded by abundance, it is because you have the heart of a lion. If you are surrounded by scarcity, it is because you've not dared to challenge yourself to rise against adversity. Struggle is the meaning of life.
  
  If you want more from your life, ask what you have done to deserve more. Don't sit around lost in daydreams: ONLY ACTION WILL REDEEM YOU.
  
  From now on, think your way into a dynamic and confident state of mind and being. Strive to be that little bit better in everything you do in everyday struggle! Crawl up that mountain! Go for it!

• Sunday Doodles: Kenya Shall Rise; It is Well

  Posted: February 24, 2008, 8:47 am by ritch

  There is a hymn I like very much. The story behind the penning of the hymn is a humbling one indeed. The hymn, It is Well with My Soul, was penned by Horatio Spafford.
  This hymn was written after several traumatic events in Spafford’s life. The first was the death of his only son in 1871, shortly followed by the great Chicago Fire which ruined him financially (he had been a successful lawyer). Then in 1873, he had planned to travel to Europe with his family on the S. S. Ville Du Havre, but sent the family ahead while he was delayed on business. While crossing the Atlantic, the ship sank rapidly after a collision with another ship, and all four of Spafford’s daughters died. Spafford’s wife, Anna, survived and sent him the now famous telegram, “Saved alone.” Shortly afterwards, as Spafford travelled to meet his grieving wife, he was inspired to write the hymn as his ship passed near where his daughters had died.
  
  It is Well with My Soul
  
  When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
  When sorrows like sea billows roll;
  Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
  It is well, it is well, with my soul.
  
  It is well, with my soul,
  It is well, with my soul,
  It is well, it is well, with my soul.
  
  Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
  Let this blest assurance control,
  That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
  And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
  
  My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
  My sin, not in part but the whole,
  Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
  Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
  
  It is well, with my soul
  It is well, with my soul,
  It is well, it is well, with my soul.
  
  And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
  The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
  The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
  Even so, it is well with my soul.
  
  It is well, with my soul,
  It is well, with my soul,
  It is well, it is well, with my soul.
  
  Just like Horatio, Kenyans have lost a lot and some are barely holding on. Some are holding to a thin, frayed thread to avoid sliding off the edge of the precipice into an abysmal abyss. And the thread is threatening to snap…
  
  One thing I believe with all my heart is that Kenya will rise above this present situation (oh, but at what cost!); Kenyans will smile again; Kenyans will ‘live’ to see tomorrow. This has, and will always be, my prayer.
  
  Every time I look into the eyes of the children in the camps, tears well up in my eyes and course down the entire breadth of my face. If only tears could help!
  
  I call upon all of us to help in our own unique ways. Emotionally: hold, embrace, speak positive words to the affected etc; Socially: offer whatever you could offer to alleviate the suffering (food, clothing etc).
  
  Let the Golden Rule ‘speak’ in our actions: Do unto others what you would like them to do unto you.
  
  Have a blessed week.
  
  (Drop me a line at: undaunted at yahoo dot com)

• Political Settlement: Halfway House

  Posted: February 23, 2008, 4:52 am by ritch

  On 27th of December last year, Kenyans went to the polls and spoke out loud about the people they wanted to see ascend the political ladder (and those they didn’t want to stay up there a second longer!). But the events that followed this “loud decision” clearly placed Kenya among the countries that do no not care two hoots about the welfare of its people.
  
  Kenyans were (and have since remained) strangulated, asphyxiated and raped off their democratic right.
  
  This led to the unleashing of the most potent ‘demon’ that resides in humans to take full course: hate, ‘violent’ suspicion, murder, ethnic ‘turbulence’, ‘incompatible’ co-existence and a host many other evils.
  
  All of as sudden our very identities became a threat to our existence, to our freedom and to precious life. Our names became the determining factor. One mention of our names would determine the direction of the sharp machetes. Our identity cards spoke against us. “Wacha nione kipande yako” became a life-threatening question.
  
  Millions of Kenyans have lost their lifelines, their jobs and hope of any possible respite coming their way. Hundreds of thousands have been displaced and their properties lost in the innocuous ‘conflagration’ (both literally and metaphorically speaking!).
  
  The wounds and hurt in our hearts, as Kenyans, beggars description. I believe that not even the most perfect and prolific wordsmith in town can put it in words (that includes our very own good writers here at Kumekucha Chris, Taabu, and Phil). Anyway, we don’t need words to explain the feeling.
  
  Now there is talk of a political settlement between PNU and ODM. Well, this, to me, is like offering quack cures for old ills. A halfway house of sorts! We need more than our paunchy fellows at Serena are offering. How do they plan to deal with the frayed, threadbare fabric of society? On the ground, co-existence among different ethnic groups is stifled. “Gargantuan” amounts of mistrust rule the air among the different tribes. A very sorry state indeed!
  
  Well, again, the very people who lost in the elections are the very guys who ‘want’ (want really? ) to give a piece of the action, a piece of the power, to the other group. Theatre of the absurd, methinks.

• Sunday Doodles ‘Attacked’

  Posted: February 4, 2008, 11:57 am by ritch

  Yesterday I posted a piece here that was exceedingly censured and trashed as being “irrelevant”. Read it here Shun Laziness at the Workplace.
  
  I reproduce some of the comments below and accompany them with my thoughts (in bold) about the ‘points’ raised in each piece:
  
  q Anonymous said: Ritch, you have the right message but giving it at the wrong time. Which people are you telling not to be slack, the 500,000 who are homeless and have lost their properties? The hundreds who have lost their jobs because they are the “wrong” tribe? The ones who have several people to bury? The landlords whose tenants have taken off due to insecurity? The drivers whose vehicles have been burnt? The industrialists whose premises, machines and stocks have been broken, burnt or vandalized? The Pastors whose churches have been burnt with ashes of humans still in? The hoteliers who have to close the hotels and send away thousands of workers? This is not the time to tell Kenyans to work hard. It is the time to bring about justice, peace and reconciliation; it is about restoring faith in the Kenyan voter. It is about setting up a new constitution that will seal all loopholes for thieves and ensure fairness, dignity, transparency and patriotism. Since you have turned spiritual today, please read Ecclesiastes 3, the whole chapter. It says: For everything there is a time and a season; a time to cry and a time to laugh; a time to build and a time to pull down; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing etc. In Kenya, it is now the time to put wrong things right. It is time for wrong doers to ask for forgiveness. It is time for thieves to return what they have stolen and pay back four-fold Zacchaeus’ style (Luke 19)
  
  Anonymous, thank you for painting for us the stark, grave reality on the ground. I believe things are even graver than this. My heart goes out to each of these Kenyan brothers, sisters, children, mothers and fathers of mine. But, going back to your response, I think you got me wrong. You say that there is a time for everything, yes there is. Diligence and industry are to be employed in each of the “time for everything”. Slothfulness, slackness and complacency cannot be allowed to thrive even when things are ‘major’. You fail to realize that I am also telling the people in power, people whom we have mandated to fight our cause, not to be slack but to employ diligence in their everyday duties. The obverse side of the coin speaks volumes, anon!
  
  q Wanjiku – Mombasa said: I spend the cream of my time in the office on the net. That is 8 – 9 in the morning when I am freshest. And yes, mostly on Kumekucha. And a few minutes before I retire to bed. Therefore I stand accused as a thief of employer’s time. But I do deliver on work. Or so I hope.
  
  Wanjiku, let me believe that you are not on the net during “the cream your time” at the expense of something more immediate concerning your job. Anyway, keep it Kumekucha and, I believe, you’ll never regret using “the cream of your time” reading pieces here.
  
  q Anonymous said: Ritch, I love your message, best so far here on Kumekucha…
  
  Anon, I’m rather flattered by the adulation. Thank you and keep it here!
  
  Anonymous said: Ritch, well put. But in view of the prevailing circumstances, your message is ABSOLUTELY IRRELEVANT!!
  
  Anon, variety is the spice of life. And if you read the piece well you will see that I have not tried to touch on the prevailing circumstance. So, what is irrelevant? The gist of the piece? And to whom is it irrelevant? Slackness and slothfulness have never helped anyone. At the end of the day people want food on their tables from their very jobs. How people conduct themselves at their stations of work has a direct impact on their very livelihoods. So, what is irrelevant?
  
  q Taabu said: Ritch, nice one albeit preaching to the bereaved. The message is apt and useful but doesn’t serve its purpose. Going religious is good for a burdened soul but is also escapist. Turning your back to problems at your doorsteps amounts to seeking the presidency via deception ya kupita kati kati. Kenyans remain unrivalled in the field of clever deception – panda utavuna. Realists call it escapism and the faint-hearted call it exhaling, where do you belong and what do you mean? Just curious.
  
  Taabu, my bro, I think the first thing you should have said was “what do you mean?” instead of it coming at the very end. Anyway, Taabu, there is no problem I have turned my back to. You are a witness of how I feel about the whole shooting match (the situation in Kenya) from my writings here and, more so, from our discourses elsewhere. I am neither an escapist nor an “exhaler” (whatever that is supposed to mean). Taabu, there is more to life than meets the eye.
  
  And, with that, I rest my case…
  
  Sincerely Yours,
  Ritch (the Doodler).

• Sunday Doodles: Shun Laziness at the Workplace

  Posted: February 3, 2008, 9:28 am by ritch

  As I was reading The Bible sometime this week my eyes fell on a verse that set my heart pumping hard. My lips went dry as I tried to ruminate over what I had just read.
  The words in Proverbs 18:9 were very clear in my mind:
  
  "He who is slack in his work is a brother to him who destroys."
  (Slack means not willing to work; lazy; not work well; slothful)
  
  These are the very words in the verse that I read. (My aim is not to preach here but to give you insights of how we should conduct ourselves at the workplace to maximize what we have worked for so hard).
  
  The words hit me like a thunderbolt. Why? Well, I have been guilty of being slack in my work sometimes. I know you have too. The writing on the wall is clear: if you are lazy or slothful then there is no difference between you and a person who destroys or wastes.
  
  The more we 'encourage' ourselves to be slack and lazy by camouflaging this stark reality in well-meaning words and clichés such as 'relaxing', 'all work with no play makes Jack a dull boy', and 'entertainment' then we're distancing ourselves from the brass tacks of the game. Therefore, the first high wind that comes will destroy our ship. A ship that has, maybe, taken years of toil and moil to build.
  
  People who are slack will generally find that they have so much time on their hands to do other things but the work they ought to plan for and do. They are time wasters. We must never forget that time is one of the most priceless things that all people possess in equal measure. What sets people apart is how they utilize the time they have.
  
  How do you use your time? How do you use your working time? Do you steal time from your employer? (This gives laziness a 'legal' hold on us). Do you always give flimsy reasons for not achieving what is expected of you? If so, outline the reasons and try to find out why you give those reasons. You'll be surprised at how some of these reasons are puerile.
  Our vision is clear in our minds. We want to achieve a higher high and sharpen our unique 'stocks-in-trade'. But we've got to set things in clear perspective before we think of anything else.
  
  We should learn how to manage the time at our disposal and make sure that we measure work output against the backdrop of the time we've used to do it. This way we'll curb time wastage and be on our way to better workplace performance.
  
  As a bottom-line, when work is a pleasure, life is a joy! When work is duty, life is slavery. (If you are reading this on stolen time, please get ways and means of compensating for the stolen time – I am serious!)
  
  Wanna speak to Ritch? Drop him a line at thisEmail Address.

• Sacrificing National Integrity at the Altar Of Tribal Pettiness

  Posted: January 29, 2008, 11:12 am by ritch

  Guest Post by Peter Ngugi
  
  This is an open letter to Messrs Mwai Kibaki, the President of the Republic of Kenya and Raila Odinga, the leader of the Orange Democratic Movement.
  
  Sirs, I know that you must be too busy to get time to read this letter but I am very sure that one of your many lieutenants will read it in your stead and convey the message to you.
  
  Sirs, I – like millions other Kenyans – am very angry with you for plunging our country into an abyss of tribal turmoil. I hold you solely responsible for all the mayhem engulfing our beloved country. If this country goes to the dogs, your names and those of your progenies will forever be associated with tribal tyranny and downright barbarism.
  
  I am really saddened by your role in the creation of value systems that have blatantly divided us along tribal lines and thus made us slaves and refugees in the land of our birth. It is high time that you understood that the fundamental tenets of true Kenyanness lie not in tribes and empty political talk but in the ability to spiritedly strive to invalidate schemes whose principal aim is to cause ethnic animosity.
  
  Sirs, it is upon you to start the healing process for, we the citizenry, are sick and tired of your political bickering, empty rhetoric and chest thumping. The Nation hurts- nay it is bleeding profusely and is almost in its deathbed. Sirs, is this the Second Liberation we so intently fought for? Did we strive to kick out the draconian leaders of yester years so that you can set the stage for sacrificing the integrity of our country at the altar of pettiness and outright demagoguery? How much more innocent blood do you want spilt so that you can see the graveness of the matter?
  
  Sirs, you must not allow our country to sink lower than it has already sunk. You have held our country to ransom for far too long as the humanitarian situation deteriorates by the minute.
  
  I beseech thee to put the interests of Kenya before your own. You have got to act swiftly to restore our national integrity.
  
  Faithfully,
  
  Mwalimu Peter N Ngugi

• Sunday Doodles: My Kenya

  Posted: January 27, 2008, 12:35 pm by ritch

  Breaking News: Serious Skirmishes Now Reach Naivasha
  
  I am hurting inside. I am in mental and emotional pain. What I feel cannot possibly be put into words even by the most prolific wordsmith in town. The pain, the anguish, the distress, the confusion, the desolation… (A concoction of insalubrious feelings)!
  
  The killings, the murders, the lootings, the torchings, the lashings, the perfidy, the larceny, the … (my mind is going round and round in circles). Someone please do help bring sanity to my being.
  
  I have seen it: my dear Kenyan brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers and children cut down by the machete; shot to death and left to rot in the streets; burnt in their houses and in the churches; thousands of men, women and children bounding, with whatever belonging they could salvage, to God knows where; the hopelessness and despondency pasted on the faces of my country men.
  
  I have heard it: the wails of terror made by the children; the screams of horror made by the women; the sighs and stifled screams made by the men; the shouting, screaming and struggle of the women who are being raped and left for dead.
  
  Someone please do tell me that I am just dreaming. Please tell me that this is just a bad dream and were it not for the long night, then, it would be over.
  
  This is not the Kenya I knew; and, optimistically, is not the Kenya I‘ll wake up in tomorrow.
  
  And before I pen off, please don’t ask my tribe; I am a Kenyan.

• Mid-night Brawl

  Posted: January 26, 2008, 4:14 am by ritch

  An analogy depicting the present situation in Kenya
  
  Prevailing altercation,
  A string of expletives,
  A dash of angry shouting,
  Rent the warm night air.
  
  The faithful night breeze,
  Carried the commotion far and wide,
  Rats stopped their activities to listen,
  Crickets stopped their innocuous sounds.
  
  The man could be heard quite distinctly,
  Effing and blinding strenuously,
  Barking, screaming and shouting,
  As he pulled his wife by her hair.
  
  Finally, the two were outside,
  And the whole world with them;
  The world watched as they rolled and turned,
  Clutched, clawed and hit each other.
  
  The man shouted:
  You have betrayed our love,
  You did confidently sleep,
  With my friend, under my very roof!
  
  The neighbours very well remembered,
  The tall, lanky fellow,
  Who had discreetly left the man's house,
  Early that evening.
  
  The woman heatedly rejoined:
  You slept with the chief's wife last week,
  You moved around with my best friend,
  And I did not raise as much as an eyebrow.
  
  The bandying was sustained for as long as it could hold,
  With either party venting their heart's contents on the other,
  The man was the first one to have enough of it all,
  As he slammed his burning fist against her face.
  
  
  A sorry state indeed, isn’t it?
  Wanna speak to Ritch? Drop him a line at thisEmail Address.

• The dawning of a new day

  Posted: January 25, 2008, 8:14 am by ritch

  
  Kenya, Sleepy giant,
  You've been resting awhile.
  Now I see the thunder,
  And the lightning,
  In yor smile.
  Now I see the storm clouds,
  In yor waking eyes:
  The thunder,
  The wonder,
  And the new surprise.
  Your every step reveals,
  The new stride,
  In your thighs.
  
  These are the very eloquent words of the master poet, Langston Hughes.(But I have changed his original Africa to read Kenya)
  The words there-in hold true to us today. With the fall of every word the walls in the room reverberate and the din rises to fever-pitch crescendo.
  
  Kenya, we've been somnolent and sleepy for far too long. We've been reluctant to rise above our lot.
  We've been known as non-starters and non-proactive. The world has always seen Kenya as a country replete with problems: all manner of ills and inefficiency to boot!
  Political turbulence; ethnic clashes; economic instabilities; famine and drought - and a host many more!
  
  Kenyans, it's time to kick all these out and turn over a new leaf. Let's put the red herrings aside and pursue matters of import. Matters that will help us rise out of the miry bog of complacency and compromise.
  We've the potential to change our 'countenance' in the public eye nationally and internationally.
  We've just to set the records straight and do what we must: institute mechanisms to put things in proper perspective.
  We don't have to swallow notions and ideas pushed down our throats about the incapacities in our dear, beloved country.
  
  There's still a chink in the wall.
  Where there's a will there's a way.
  We must endeavour to rise above our condemning environment and embrace the dawning of a new day.
  Kenya, this is our time. Climb up that mountain. GO FOR IT!!

• Hanging on a String and Barely Holding On

  Posted: January 20, 2008, 10:53 am by ritch

  There are so many people who've gone through this patch in their lives. And they can associate with what is encapsulated in the poem below – a feeling of dejection, utter loneliness and guilt. If you know people who are going through such a rough patch, talk to them and try to show them love. I promise you, they need it 'badly' and urgently…
  
  Hanging on a String
  Thoughts,
  Constrict my heart,
  With every thought,
  My heart pains.
  
  Thoughts,
  Of what I didn't do,
  And should have,
  Always stalk me.
  
  Thoughts,
  Of what I did,
  And should not have,
  Smile at me.
  
  Thoughts,
  Of a beloved friend,
  Who passed away,
  Grin at me.
  
  Thoughts, come and go,
  Of an intimate friend,
  Who said enough's enough,
  And took her leave.
  
  These thoughts,
  Take me down,
  Deep down,
  To a place of no return,
  
  I'm left,
  Gasping for breath,
  Gasping for air,
  That really isn't there.
  
  These thoughts, like acid,
  Eat at my heart,
  They eat and eat and eat,
  And leave horrid, gaping holes.
  
  These holes wear out my heart,
  And with every thought added,
  I do say, verily,
  My life is hanging on a string.
  
  Contact Ritch At This Email Address.

• Feigned Courtship: A Lady's Woe

  Posted: January 20, 2008, 10:40 am by ritch

  You bet I know what I am talking about here. I am miffed by the way some men treat ladies. You may throw all Beijing 'blue blistering barnacles' (remember Captain H*** in theTintin comic!) my way but I'll still hold my ground, look you in the face and tell you what I don't like!
  
  Some men take advantage of the 'men-are-as-old-as-they-think; women-are-as-old-as-they-look' saying. They 'know' that looks to women are like shells to snails – they will go to great lengths to preserve their youth (at least for their 'prince charming'!).
  
  You still don't get the drift of this piece. Let me explain.
  
  I know of some men who have courted young, beautiful women. But after about two or so years they broke up with them for reasons best known to them. The while the courtship lasted, the ladies built so much hope in being married by the men that shared their lives.
  
  The sad thing here is that the men were all the while not serious with 'their' ladies. They just lied through their teeth that the relationship would end up in walking down the aisle to consummate their 'fiery' love. But the converse of that was true all the while.
  
  Put yourself in these ladies' shoes. Having put all their years and energies into the one thing that they thought would work, they are totally broken when the bombshell is exploded on their laps: "It's over between us; It just couldn't work; You were not the one for me; I made a wrong turn in the road of life; I think I now know where I am headed and you just don't fit in the bigger picture."
  
  This is very 'brutal', to say the least. Why couldn't you just tell the truth as it were before the bud blossomed into a flower. Yes, you knew it all along that all you wanted were the stolen moments with the lass. You should have painted this aim in black and white before things became 'major' between you.
  
  It would go something like this:
  Man:I don't foresee us walking down the aisle. I just want you by my side to satiate my ego and sexual desires. What do you think?
  Woman: Thank you for being upfront with me. Most men wouldn't do half as much. But no, I don't wish to be party to your whims!
  
  Talk of being true and never coming to rue!
  
  Men, if you don't wish to marry a lady with whom you have entered into courtship, then let the lady know.
  
  It is painful for the ladies when you take them for a ride, waste their years and dump them at the junction of desperation. If no one has ever told you, then let me tell you: Time, to women, when viewed against the backdrop of marriage, is of utmost importance. Don't waste their time. Be straight with them and save them the searing pain.
  
  Contact Ritch At This Email Address.
  (undaunted_2006 at yahoo dot com)

ON DRIFTING, WAVY WORDS

• Kenyans’ Blood is Crying Out

  Posted: January 14, 2008, 10:41 am by ritch

  Mungiki-related murders; beheadings,
  Violence, chaos, lawlessness,
  Rivers of tears wept,
  Hundreds of hearts wounded, punctured, frayed.
  
  Parentless children,
  Widowers, widows on the increase,
  Dreams, aspirations, shattered;
  The stark aftermath.
  
  Extra-judicial executions,
  The Force hauled over the coals,
  Lambasted, cornered, quizzed
  Denial came just naturally.
  
  Mt Elgon, Kuresoi,
  Pre-election violence, machetes at the ready,
  Blood spilled, hundreds dead,
  Homes fled, despair looms.
  
  Post-election, Pandora’s Box’s yanked open,
  Mayhem, anarchy, chaos, conflict,
  Tribalistic chauvinism at its best,
  Senseless killings reign supreme.
  
  Innocent children, men and women,
  At the mercy of unruly youths,
  Nay, the Police with a tall order,
  An order to shoot and kill.
  
  Churches, not a safe haven,
  Refuge seekers’ lives ‘strangulated’,
  Burnt to ashes, they are,
  Men, women, children.
  
  Bullet-ridden bodies lie in morgues,
  Hungry citizens await respite,
  To start living again;
  A murderous resolve solidifies.
  
  Charred stumps,
  Dot the hollowness in our hearts;
  Smoldering embers,
  Keep our latent emotions alive.

Kenya in Tanzania Media

• If Raila Were the President

  Posted: January 14, 2008, 10:39 am by ritch

  
  
  A Christian newspaper in Tanzania, Mwamini Mungu, yesterday alleged that Kenya would be ruled by Sharia Law if Raila were the president. In fact, this was the lead story in the newspaper.
  
  It continued to say that the arsonists who torched churches in some parts of the country were in fact venting their hatred and ire for failing to achieve their goal of turning Kenya into a Muslim state. The nitty gritty of how this would have been accomplished was set in a secret meeting that was held on 29th August, 2007 in Mombasa between Raila and a cross section of Muslim leaders.
  
  The fact that only churches, and not Mosques, were targeted is reason enough to believe the crisis in Kenya is not only fuelled by political reasons but also by religious fanaticism.
  
  One of the reasons that was tendered to prove this claim was the secret MOU which was signed between ODM‘s Raila Odinga and the chairman of the board of Islamic leaders in Kenya Sheikh Abdullah Abdi.
  
  This MOU said in part that once Raila took the helm he would acknowledge Islam and accord it special treatment.
  
  Another politician who is believed to be party to the secret MOU, which the paper claims to have a copy of, was Najib Balala (a Muslim and a leader who is very popular at the Coast especially in Mombasa).
  
  Among the ‘demands’ tabled by the Muslims in the event that ODM won the presidency was a change to the laws of the land to set apart Coast and North Eastern Provinces for Muslims. Muslims would have complete control of the regions’ religious matters.
  
  The Council of Muslims would be responsible to go through requests to start religions other than Islam in these regions. They would have the final say whether to accept or reject the requests. This would be for the purposes of rooting out any “imani potofu” and Satan worship.
  
  Within six months of the ODM in power, a new constitution would be drawn. This new constitution would embrace Islamic laws (Sharia Law) to be at work in the regions set apart for Muslims.
  
  The ODM government would sack the Police Commissioner with immediate effect. It would also ‘break’ the special Force that deals with terrorism (ATPU) which is believed to be ferrying some Kenyans( mostly Muslims) who are suspected to be terrorists to Guantanamo Bay in Cuba.
  
  Raila, it is said, agreed to the creation of Kadhi Courts in each and every District in the republic when he ascended to the highest office in the land. Madrasa classes (classes where Islam is taught to children) would also be incorporated in the school system. Each and every primary school would have Madrasa for the Muslim students. Religious open air meetings (such as crusades) would not be allowed in the Coast and North Eastern Provinces.
  
  The MOU also stipulated that all areas where 40% of the people are Muslims, alcohol would not be allowed to be sold. Also preaching that is accompanied by signs and wonders of miraculous healing would be illegal in such areas.

You Missed This

• If Raila Were the President

  Posted: January 14, 2008, 10:33 am by ritch

  EXCLUSIVE: Kirui the Whistleblower Exposes How They Stole the Presidency
  
  
  
  A Christian newspaper in Tanzania, Mwamini Mungu, yesterday alleged that Kenya would be ruled by Sharia Law if Raila were the president. In fact, this was the lead story in the newspaper.
  
  It continued to say that the arsonists who torched churches in some parts of the country were in fact venting their hatred and ire for failing to achieve their goal of turning Kenya into a Muslim state. The nitty gritty of how this would have been accomplished was set in a secret meeting that was held on 29th August, 2007 in Mombasa between Raila and a cross section of Muslim leaders.
  
  The fact that only churches, and not Mosques, were targeted is reason enough to believe the crisis in Kenya is not only fuelled by political reasons but also by religious fanaticism.
  
  One of the reasons that was tendered to prove this claim was the secret MOU which was signed between ODM‘s Raila Odinga and the chairman of the board of Islamic leaders in Kenya Sheikh Abdullah Abdi.
  
  This MOU said in part that once Raila took the helm he would acknowledge Islam and accord it special treatment.
  
  Another politician who is believed to be party to the secret MOU, which the paper claims to have a copy of, was Najib Balala (a Muslim and a leader who is very popular at the Coast especially in Mombasa).
  
  Among the ‘demands’ tabled by the Muslims in the event that ODM won the presidency was a change to the laws of the land to set apart Coast and North Eastern Provinces for Muslims. Muslims would have complete control of the regions’ religious matters.
  
  The Council of Muslims would be responsible to go through requests to start religions other than Islam in these regions. They would have the final say whether to accept or reject the requests. This would be for the purposes of rooting out any “imani potofu” and Satan worship.
  
  Within six months of the ODM in power, a new constitution would be drawn. This new constitution would embrace Islamic laws (Sharia Law) to be at work in the regions set apart for Muslims.
  
  The ODM government would sack the Police Commissioner with immediate effect. It would also ‘break’ the special Force that deals with terrorism (ATPU) which is believed to be ferrying some Kenyans( mostly Muslims) who are suspected to be terrorists to Guantanamo Bay in Cuba.
  
  Raila, it is said, agreed to the creation of Kadhi Courts in each and every District in the republic when he ascended to the highest office in the land. Madrasa classes (classes where Islam is taught to children) would also be incorporated in the school system. Each and every primary school would have Madrasa for the Muslim students. Religious open air meetings (such as crusades) would not be allowed in the Coast and North Eastern Provinces.
  
  The MOU also stipulated that all areas where 40% of the people are Muslims, alcohol would not be allowed to be sold. Also preaching that is accompanied by signs and wonders of miraculous healing would be illegal in such areas.

• Kenyans’ Blood is Crying Out

  Posted: January 2, 2008, 7:29 am by ritch

  Mungiki-related murders; beheadings,
  Violence, chaos, lawlessness,
  Rivers of tears wept,
  Hundreds of hearts wounded, punctured, frayed.
  
  Parentless children,
  Widowers, widows on the increase,
  Dreams, aspirations, shattered;
  The stark aftermath.
  
  Extra-judicial executions,
  The Force hauled over the coals,
  Lambasted, cornered, quizzed
  Denial came just naturally.
  
  Mt Elgon, Kuresoi,
  Pre-election violence, machetes at the ready,
  Blood spilled, hundreds dead,
  Homes fled, despair looms.
  
  Post-election, Pandora’s Box’s yanked open,
  Mayhem, anarchy, chaos, conflict,
  Tribalistic chauvinism at its best,
  Senseless killings reign supreme.
  
  Innocent children, men and women,
  At the mercy of unruly youths,
  Nay, the Police with a tall order,
  An order to shoot and kill.
  
  Churches, not a safe haven,
  Refuge seekers’ lives ‘strangulated’,
  Burnt to ashes, they are,
  Men, women, children.
  
  Bullet-ridden bodies lie in morgues,
  Hungry citizens await respite,
  To start living again;
  A murderous resolve solidifies.
  
  Charred stumps,
  Dot the hollowness in our hearts;
  Smoldering embers,
  Keep our latent emotions alive.
  
  Sirs, Messrs Kibaki and Raila, save us from a possible full scale tribal conflict. Kenya is much larger than the political differences of its people.

• Kenya Can’t Be Allowed to go to The Dogs

  Posted: December 31, 2007, 3:01 am by ritch

  Yesterday will go down in the country’s history as having been a tumultuous and tension-filled day. It was a day when all the citizens (and even hundreds of thousands of non-citizens who live in the country and abroad) were on edge, jittery and anxious.
  
  This situation was extremely exacerbated by the late announcement of the president of the republic of Kenya in what could be termed as a circus of sorts. Only the National Broadcaster, KBC, was present to broadcast the announcement live to all and sundry as all other media outlets, both local and foreign, had been ‘bundled’ out of KICC. And even more disturbing was the fact that within an hour of the announcement, President Kibaki was sworn-in to serve a second term in office.
  
  The ODM cried foul for, in their book, their presidential candidate Mr. Raila Amollo Odinga had won the elections and therefore was the one supposed to be sworn-in instead of Mr. Kibaki. For this reason they have made it clear, in black and white, that they don’t acknowledge the presidency of Kibaki.
  
  To prove that they mean business, they have made it clear that they will organise their own swearing-in ceremony at Uhuru Park today.
  
  As things stand right now, there has been untold suffering unleashed on the people who live in some parts of Western, Nyanza, Coast and Nairobi. Fears are almost tangible that this planned rally and swearing-in by ODM and Raila will not augur well for the Kenyan populace.
  
  My take is that, if such a thought is allowed to blossom and become a flower then this country could as well be headed to anarchy and lawlessness of untold proportions.
  
  Hon. Raila, there surely are other ways of championing your cause instead of letting it take this route. Sir, the lives of the people you very much want to protect (by becoming the president) are at stake here. Many have already been lost in the carnage that has erupted; please don’t stoke a fire that will be hard to put out. Steer clear of that hearth for the sake of innocent mothers, fathers, and children. Innocent Kenyans should not be caught in the cross fire that is more than likely to materialise.
  
  Our great country should not go down the road that Somalia, Sudan and other such countries have trodden. The citizens of these countries come to our country to seek solace and refuge. We are a beacon of hope in this part of Africa; we are the hope of the people who live within our borders.
  
  Kenya country should not be allowed to go to the dogs.

• Kudos Chris, Phil

  Posted: December 31, 2007, 2:57 am by ritch

  Kumekucha has proved itself once again as a leader as far as breaking news is concerned. Throughout the pre-election, election and post-election periods, Kumekucha has kept us informed on the happenings, events, counter-events, reactions, results, consequences and all that goes with news!!
  
  All this has undauntedly been executed by the almost unflagging mettle of two great kumekucha sons; Chris and Phil. These two have helped us keep tabs on the historic events that have been unfolding in our great country.
  
  Chris and Phil, we know this has taken a lot of sacrifice to accomplish. But your quest to inform has trounced all other reasons that would have made you renege on what your heart of hearts willed you. Kudos.
  
  I am visibly happy that the order made by the Kenya government yesterday to media houses not to have live radio and TV broadcasts does not in any way affect blogs.
  
  As we sojourn towards the Promised Land, Kumekucha espies the great daylight that is looming larger by the day in the horizon. Was that a bright flash in the plains? I can assure you, I saw something!
  
  Let those keyboards sound the more as our fingers, here at Kumekucha, do the walking amid the rubble.
  
  When we are pelted with the stones and bricks of snide and cynicism, we use them to build the mansions that we have all along wished to have. Catch the drift?
  
  By the way, Happy 44th birthday, Chris.

• Still Your Hearts

  Posted: December 26, 2007, 10:50 am by ritch

  
  
  
  In a few hour's time we are going to the polls, my dear Kenyans. Rudyard Kipling has something to tell us this day:
  
  If you can keep your head when all about you,
  Are losing theirs and are blaming it on you;
  If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
  But make allowance for their doubting too;
  If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
  Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
  Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
  And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
  
  If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
  If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
  If you can meet with triumph and disaster,
  And treat those two imposters just the same.
  
  If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
  Or walk with kings nor lose the common touch,
  If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
  If all men count with you, but none too much;
  If you can fill the unforgiving minute,
  With sixty seconds worth of distance run,
  Yours is the Earth and everything’s that’s in it,
  And – which is more – you’ll be a man, my son.
  
  Have peaceful elections tomorrow. And may the best man win.

• The Day After: Friday, 28th December, 2007

  Posted: December 24, 2007, 7:39 am by ritch

  I have a racking headache this morning. Yesterday was a tough, nay, gruelling day. Yeah, and so much so. It was Election Day; the most competitive, much anticipated issue-based election since independence.
  
  I was among the last people at the polling station having stood in the hot sun for almost half a day. Yeah, and the turn out was something to behold. Scores of people stood in queues, braving the hot sun, to ultimately cast their votes!
  
  I hardly slept a wink last night. My neighbours next door (three bachelors who stay in the same room) just wouldn’t let me. Their high-pitched radios (as they kept count of the number of votes from polling stations the country over, thanks to the leading channel), raucous laughs, guttural voices and frequent screams as beer bottles fell to the floor, were just tormenting.
  
  Everything is quiet this morning save for the throbbing headache between my ears. The throbbing is as if tangible. And for no apparent reason at all, my heart is pounding savagely (as if I am climbing a precipitous mountain).
  
  Now I start recalling. A day before the polls, I wagered my friend Mark ksh 5000/- that my choice for president would win the polls with a landslide victory. I was more than confident that this would be the case. Then, where is this jittery feeling coming from?
  
  If my choice for president does not win the elections, then, I'll have to part with my precious five thao. Not a pretty picture at all.
  But, then, who says he will not win.
  
  Just as this thought takes its form in my mind, two pictures (so vivid and life-like) suddenly cascade in my mind’s eye; one from left to right, the other from right to left.
  
  The two pictures are those of Raila and Kibaki. Both of them are smiling. In fact, one of them is grinning like a Cheshire cat. Their lips are moving as if trying to tell me something.
  
  I strain my inner ears but fail to hear anything.
  
  I look at the wall clock. It is 6:30am. I think it is time to put all my fears to rest. I ‘trudge’ to my wall unit and almost simultaneously switch on both my TV and radio.
  
  The news on radio and TV is replete and inundated with election-related news. Reports are coming in from all parts of the country. The number of votes each candidate has received in various parts of the republic is mentioned.
  
  My heart lurches. No, no, what I am hearing can’t be true. Those unflattering number of votes can’t be those of my chosen president. No. Never.
  
  Almost instantly I decide what I‘ll spend the rest of the day doing.
  
  “Counting the votes. Yes, that’s what I am going to do the rest of the day. I can’t leave anything to chance, can I?”
  
  I also decide to call on my neighbours later in the day to compare my notes with that of their vigil last night.
  
  I fetch a pen and some foolscaps and get ready for the task ahead of me. Oh, I had almost forgotten. I usually take a hot cup of coffee at around this time of the day. And today it will do me a whole world of good.
  A steaming cup of coffee.

• Men and Women of Integrity is What this Country needs so badly (even more than a change of guard at the helm)...

  Posted: December 15, 2007, 9:01 am by ritch

  
  Are you as good as your word?
  
  Men and women of integrity are people of their word. As their word is, so is their action.
  
  One of the easiest things to do on earth is to say you'll do something, while you have no intention of doing so. You say so just to put off a present pressure not thinking what your word will portend for you in future.
  
  Is your yes a genuine yes? Is your no a genuine no? Do you say yes or no to foster a genuine cause or does the pit of your bowels quake, most of the time you use them, for you mean not what you say?
  Pythagoras, the great Mathematician, said ' the oldest, shortest words – yes and no – are those which require the most thought. ' How very true!
  
  When you say, "I'll stand by you come rain come high water", do you mean every bit of it? Do you suffer from bouts of vacillation once you set out to execute that which you say?
  These are too many questions to answer at one sitting. Nevertheless, they are enough to drive a point home.
  
  We must be mature enough to become accountable for our word – we must see that we keep it when we give it. Many people pile load after load of guilt upon themselves by not keeping their word, then wonder why they have ulcers, heart problems and motley of other problems.
  
  Our word, when given, is a source of faith to those who receive it, and determines their conduct. When the word is not kept, unbelief develops.
  
  Sometimes people who refuse to compromise truth or principle are viewed with contempt. People who are of questionable behaviour fear to associate themselves with men and women of integrity because they fear their unethical behaviour will be exposed.
  
  Surely, light and darkness cannot be accommodated in the same room. One of them has to bow and leave. Incidentally, something worth noting here is that when light enters a dark room, the darkness has to flee; but darkness cannot dare enter a room that is well lighted. It goes to show that people of integrity are a force to reckon with.
  
  Sadly, people of integrity and unquestionable principle are becoming rarer and rarer by the day. Countless numbers of men and women who were once famed for their integrity are opting for mediocre, second-rate lives (lives that are 'easier' to live as there is less accountability). In the long run respect, honour and moral uprightness are thrown out the window. But don't lie to yourself: you can never lie to your conscience. It will always remind you the wonderful path you forsook for God knows what reasons!
  
  Your conscience is the most important thing you possess, second only to your soul. Guard it! Screen it! Unclog it! For heaven's sake, keep it
  alive!
  Remember:
  • Standing for right when it's unpopular is a true test for moral character.
  • Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation. Your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
  • Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself; be lenient to everybody else.
  • Excellence is the result of habitual integrity.

• Of Political Upheavals and a Stormy Past

  Posted: December 13, 2007, 8:37 am by ritch

  I wrote this poem when the Anglo Leasing scandal was a 'hot issue'. Is the next president really set to fight corruption? I wonder... The current goings-on leaves so much to be desired.
  
  In the days of yore kenyans' political ken suffered such dearth,
  Political simulation, stimulation incomprehensible,
  Legion political 'achilles heels' looming large in stormy seas,
  Such was the tune, of such no panacea promised respite.
  With the advent of a new regime,
  Political turbulence 'seemed' to be 'burnt to a frazzle',
  Hodge-podge politicking was thrown out the window,
  Magnified promises to the masses graced the billboards.
  
  Time flew fast and with it came a 'new' breeze,
  A recrudescence of past ills set in on our soil,
  Power wrangling, 'power fisticuffs' so to speak,
  Were replete in our mainstream press.
  
  Then it came our way, a giant two-headed bug,
  As it set in, a loud bang ensued,
  Then silence, a silence reminiscent of a calm in a storm,
  The 'eye of the storm' spinning in murderous frenzy.
  
  Everything in disarray, in shambles,
  As the bug wend its way into the coffers,
  Lining many a ministers insatiable pocket,
  With dollars, pounds, Euros, shillings.
  
  Anglo Leasing's the giant bug,
  That has sucked the blood of the 'common mwananchi',
  It 'engulfed' my hard-earned supper yesterday,
  And cast me a look that bespoke penury in my posterity.

• Spare a Thought for the Hurting and Down Trodden

  Posted: December 8, 2007, 6:10 am by ritch

  I came across the poem below as I was sifting through my paraphernalia this morning. It got me thinking.
  
  The poem was writtenby the prominent German anti-Nazi activist, Pastor Martin Niem?ller.
  
  First they came...
  
  In Germany they came first for the Communists,
  And I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.
  Then they came for the Jews,
  And I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.
  Then they came for the trade unionists,
  And I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.
  Then they came for the Catholics,
  And I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.
  Then they came for me,
  And by that time no one was left to speak up for me.
  
  Most of our dear brothers and sisters are suffering and have suffered immensely in Kuresoi, Mount Elgon, in the hands of the ruthless mungiki and in election related violence in the recent past.
  
  Speaking up for them is our divine responsibility. Taking the government to task and fervently asking why these heinous acts are being perpetrated under the very 'bulbous' nose of the state is the first step to much-needed healing.
  
  Something has to give; something's gotta be done!
  
  Well, if we don't speak up for the hurting and down-trodden in our country, who will speak up for us when it happens to us and our very own.
  Food for thought, this.
  Tell Ritch what you think.

• Can this senseless propaganda (in our civilised Kenya!) please stop

  Posted: December 5, 2007, 7:51 am by ritch

  The other day I read a ridiculous vernacular 'propaganda' sms sent to an aquaintance of mine. It was in Kikuyu and it read:
  
  Mwathani arokogitira maonduini mothe ma ngoma ta mirimu, aichi, mungiki, arogi, thuya, nguya, rwagi, ndaa, ngunguni, na muno Raila na kiama kia ODM.
  
  It roughly translates to: May the Lord keep you safe from the wiles of the devil such as diseases, robbers, Mungiki, witches, stubborn insects (mosquitoes and the rest), and most of all from Raila and ODM.
  
  Just sickening!

• The Failure Syndrome: Don't Let it Infect You

  Posted: December 3, 2007, 7:54 am by ritch

  When you mention failure, some people cringe, some cower and others twist their noses in a manner likely to suggest that failure is not their lot in life (and can never even dare come their way!). What sanctimonious pride!
  
  There have been hyped messages suggesting (even dragging it to the "fact" list) that failure is part of life. Some have even gone to the extent of quoting what famous men (Sir Winston Churchill and his ilk) said about failure and take it that without failure one is as good as dead.
  
  Being puffed up with the pride of knowing as many quotes as possible on failure and saying that you "fail forwards on the road to success" while, in essence, you are doing nothing to salvage matters, will not, and does not, help save face.
  
  To come to terms with failure, we have to deal with the core causes first. We do court failure some of the time, giving it the time and space to bare its fangs. When we vacillate, its venom is injected into our systems paralyzing them.
  
  Is failure staring you in the face?
  Check these faucets:
   Time:
  How do you use your time? Time is one of the most precious things all people are equally endowed with. Use it wisely and prudently. Plan well to make maximum profits from time invested.
  • Don't ruminate over 'tomorrow' today at the expense of what has to be accomplished 'today'. Otherwise, you'll spend your 'tomorrow' regretting why you didn't do what you ought to have done 'today'. That's a wasted resource that can never, ever, be recovered.
   Opportunities:
  The proverb 'Fortune knocks once at every man's door' has a subtle warning attached to it. Look at it twice and you'll see it: If you don't take up opportunity when it knocks, chances are that it won't come knocking again. Take opportunities for what they are: Gems on the scoreboard of success, and run with them to their utter limits.
   Bulldog Tenacity:
  • You have to relentlessly pursue opportunities and relationships that have positive impacts on you performance. Without such a quality, some obstacles would mean the end of your journey to success. Hold on, fight through (snarl, if you can) and victory is yours for the taking.
   Relationships:
  • No man is an island. You need people in order to advance your career. You need people to help you through. You need to lie on someone's shoulder for comfort and support. You desperately need people around you for approval (and criticism!)
  • You can never wish to get the best from people around you if your relationship with them is shaky and feigned.
  • Treat people well, show them that you care and you'll be surprised how they respond when you need them to help you out.
  • Treating people well involves listening to them and valuing their input and effort.
   Trust and Integrity:
  Being a man or a woman of integrity will open many doors for you. This is simply because most people like associating with people whom they can trust (of course there are others who have an acrid view towards faithfulness and integrity).
  • Let people trust you with their money, secrets and well being. You need this in your quest for success.
   People's Mistakes:
  • Try to know the reasons that made some people fail (in a certain venture, for instance) and purpose, with your heart of hearts, not to make the same mistakes. In essence, learn from other people's mistakes.
  
  Failure is like a roaring lion that roams about seeking for prey to devour. At all costs, let the prey not be you.

• Face Challenges Head-on: The Battle is not for the Self-effacing

  Posted: December 3, 2007, 7:33 am by ritch

  In his book Ake, Wole Soyinka writes what his grandfather told him about dealing with bullies:
  "Wherever you find yourself, don't run away from a fight. Your adversary will probably be bigger, he will trounce you the first time. Next time you meet him, challenge him again. He will beat you all over again. The third, time I promise you this, you will either defeat him or he will run away."
  
  As we end this year and look forward for the new year, let us brace ourselves for change, new challenges and new ways of dealing with these challenges and difficulties. Life is not for the faint-hearted but for those who have the heart of a lion.
  
  Dr Maya Angelou once said: "You may encounter many defeats, but you must never be defeated. It may even be necessary to encounter some defeats to know who you are. Forgive yourself – no one else will."
  
  The good thing is that challenges never leave you where they find you. When you bare your muscle and brawn and fight through the mist of near-defeat, you emerge better than you started out. Furthermore, nothing good comes easy. In fact, faint heart never won fair lady!
  
  Challenges come to mould us and make us strong. They come to help us focus even more intently on matters at hand.
  My call to us today is to face challenges that come our way with sober minds and to realise that the battle is for the strong (not necessarily physical strength) and not for the fearful and self-effacing.
  
  I believe people with such kind of outlook on life are what our dear country needs. Our country is me and you.

• Open Letter to Chris: Politics and Kumekucha

  Posted: November 12, 2007, 10:43 am by ritch

  I hope this finds you well.
  I read a comment on Kumekucha recently (in reaction to your article “Kenyans Speak Bluntly about Elections 2007”) urging you to declare the candidate that Kumekucha is supporting for the presidency in this year’s elections. It got me thinking.
  
  The comment read:
  Chris, do you know a time will come soon (I think it’s time is overdue) when this publication – Kumekucha – will have to confirm its support to one of the candidates/political party for Kenya’s 2007 elections? It is a worldwide practice and is acceptable journalism that newspapers, magazines and other news sources to publish what they call editorials. I know many people think this an ODM blog. I beg to differ. The sooner you announce a position the better. An editorial policy influences readership (in this case, hits) and you should not fear anything in this regard. Taking a position by voting for your preferred candidate is democratic and shows that you are taking your responsibilities as a citizen seriously. For that reason I encourage you/ Taabu/ Luke/ Ritch to endorse the candidature of Raila Odinga so we may get over with it.
  
  My Take
  First things first. Chris, I know Kumekucha is not an ODM blog. It seems to be an ODM blog because of the ‘loudness’ of one Phil in favour of ODM and Raila Odinga.
  
  Another thing, most people ‘saunter’ to Kumekucha because, here, they are not ‘coerced’ or ‘arm-twisted’ to think well of (and to eventually vote for) any one candidate as other e-magazines and blogs have been doing in the recent past. (I am quite aware that the different political parties have their own web sites, blogs and e-magazine. Their work is to talk well of their candidates and to drum support for them. There is nothing wrong with that.)
  
  Kumekucha is a different kettle of fish altogether. It is a mélange of different and disparate opinions on the Kenyan society and especially Kenya’s political landscape. Taking sides will disturb the status quo that Kumekucha now enjoys and feeds off.
  
  People who support different candidates for the presidency exist in harmony here at Kumekucha for this blog cuts right across the political divide. Drumming support for a single candidate here will mean that you’ll be throwing objectivity out the window. (Objectivity being one of the foundation blocks of credible journalism!).
  
  Chris, this is just food for thought. And with that, I rest my case.

• Remain Sober, Brethren, the Tumult Notwithstanding

  Posted: November 9, 2007, 10:53 am by ritch

  These are ‘hard times’ for Kenyans. Yep! (to use Chris’ pet word) and rightly so. What with all the walls around us reverberating with the echoes of the ‘political’ voices of presidential and parliamentary hopefuls!
  
  Cheap political and campaign gimmicks have been brought to play in the hope of swindling us to succumbing to the pressure of the moment. Our votes are a gold mine for these seekers of the country’s high offices! (Our interests do not feature in the vocabulary of most of these guys).
  
  Brethren, in the face of all this pressure, let us keep our heads clear and think straight. The fate of our country is at stake. Not just for us but for our children and generations to come. As we vote next month let our heads, and not our hearts, do the deciding. Our hearts are wont to wax sentimental and emotional. The fate of our country rests in the hands of the decisive members of this wonderful country.
  
  This reminds me of some quotations I read sometime ago about Government:
  • That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves.
  • Government is a trust, and the officers of the government are trustees; and both the trust and the trustees are created for the benefit of the people.
  • The government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.
  • Man well governed should seek after no other liberty, for there can be no greater liberty than a good government.
  • The will of the people is the only legitimate foundation of any government, and to protect its free expression should be our first object.
  • For in reason, all government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery.
  
  Whether it is Kibaki, Raila, Kalonzo or Muiru at the helm of this country come early next year, I believe Kenyans will be proud of their democratic choice.
  
  VOTE WITH YOUR HEADS NOT YOUR HEARTS!!!!

• The Test

  Posted: October 23, 2007, 11:43 am by ritch

  Here, I share with you my own personal experience when my wife and I had to take the HIV test three years ago.
  
  The Pastor made it very clear to us that, as a prerequisite, we had to go for a HIV test before we got married. The results of the test would determine whether the church would marry us off or not. If either of us tested HIV positive, then, that would mean the end of the journey to conjugal bliss.
  
  That was three weeks to the publishing of the banns. Never had there been a harder time in our lives than at that very time. The task that we had to accomplish was almost daunting.
  
  Our minds were abuzz trying to figure out our pasts: had we slipped in our earlier trysts? And if so, had we contracted the HIV virus? What would happen if the tests confirmed our worst fears?
  
  After lengthy deliberations, we decided that taking the test was the only way of either confirming or allaying our fears.
  
  The next day we headed to a Voluntary Counselling and Testing (VCT) centre that was in town. We were received cordially, and, after the preliminaries, we were ushered into a room where a counsellor was waiting for us.
  
  I’ll never forget the cold chill that ran down my spine when I entered the room. I felt like a cow that had entered an abattoir. My face was flushed and my lips felt dry. I tried to compose myself to no avail. The feeling I had could only be equated to the feeling of an accused man feeling guilty before being pronounced so.
  
  With a warm smile, the counsellor led us through the counselling session which included questions posed at us and explanations she gave for the questions we asked her.
  
  Then came the question: “Are you ready for the test?” My wife-to-be and I exchanged glances and, almost in unison, we said, “Yes.”
  
  We were led to a room that was adjacent to the office. This was the ‘testing room’. Blood was removed from the big veins in the crooks of our arms. Then we were told to wait in reception while the tests were made and results processed.
  
  The fifteen minutes in reception were an eternity to me. There were a number of magazines on the table. I took one of them in the pretext of reading but in real sense it was to camouflage the fact that my mind was in turmoil. All manner of wild ideas and thoughts were doing their rounds in my head.
  
  “What if I am found to be HIV positive, what will become of my life? What will come of my wedding bid? What will people say and how will my parents take it?” My head was spinning. My mate was going through the same motions.
  
  When our names were mentioned we jumped up in unison almost leaving our hearts on the seats! The counsellor, with two spring files in her hands, led the way into her office. We followed suit, our steps almost faltering.
  
  Once inside the office, she asked us to be seated. With a disarming smile playing on her lips, she told us that she had the results. Our hearts missed a beat.
  
  With the precision of a marksman, she opened the two files and looked into them. At the back of our minds we knew that the contents of the files held the key to our fate.
  
  She looked at us and, as she was about to say something, she stopped and cleared her throat. Was that hesitation? We felt the air in our lungs being forced out.
  
  “Both of you are HIV negative. You don’t have the HIV virus. Here, have a look at the results.”
  
  For a split second we could not believe our ears. Then we stood up, with tears of joy coursing the breadth of our cheeks, hugged each other and thanked the counsellor profusely.
  
  As she handed us our result certificates (the key to our marital bliss and ‘happily-ever-after’ story), she quipped, “These results are very different from the ones that show academic qualifications. You can depend on your academic certificates to open doors for you tomorrow i.e. the qualifications don’t change. The certificates show the skills you have acquired. The results you have received today, on the other hand, can change at the flash of lightning if you don’t take care of yourselves.”
  
  Read this poem that encapsulates the advice of a grandmother to her carefree grandson who does not care two hoots about Aids.
  
  You can contact me at this Email Address.

• Glorifying the Inglorious

  Posted: October 23, 2007, 11:40 am by ritch

  Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why some of the vices we stand on the roof tops to discourage are the very ones we contentedly sit down to watch on TV (to our detriment, no doubt)?
  
  We grin, laugh, smile and purse our lips when we watch steamy love scenes and passionate kissing courtesy of the manifold soap operas that grace our sets. What would prevent a teenager from experimenting with what they watch?
  
  During the day we rebuke immorality, promiscuity and other such ‘vices’; in the evening it is served hot (on TV) for us to savour and join in the fray. Why this ambiguity? What message is being delivered to the multiple audience stake holders at the end of the day?
  
  The soaps ‘teach’ us that having multiple sexual partners is alright as long as you have the money to keep the ‘relationship’ going. They also aim at making us believe that divorce is the sure-fire way of dealing with issues in marriage. Patience and perseverance in marriage are no-go zones according to these programmes. (Remember The Rich also Cry, No One But You of yesteryear and the many others that have come after them?)
  
  Western mentality is being slid down our throats (without our noticing it) through these programmes. We open our arms to welcome their insidious notions and ideals. We try as much as we can not to miss watching them.
  
  I know of a certain woman who sulks the whole evening if she is ‘disturbed’ as she watches her favourite soap. When her husband wants to talk to her or asks her for food or bath water she gives a thousand and one excuses just to make sure that she watches the soap without missing any action. Talk of disrespect and disregard!
  
  And to think this is just one woman out of the many others who do even worse things in a bid to pledge allegiance to their favourite soaps, is just sickening.
  
  Where are we headed if this is the status quo? I dare say, homes are crumbling and disintegrating thanks to the aforementioned. Though their story lines are very interesting and spellbinding, there is a dark abyss under their seemingly harmless façade.
  You can contact me at this Email Address.

• Think Twice

  Posted: October 19, 2007, 11:19 am by ritch

  I received this mail in my inbox in response to my article about tribalism (http://kumekucha.blogspot.com/2007/10/tribalism-kenyas-blood-sucking-vampire.html).
  I have reproduced it here in its entirety.
  
  Bro. have you ever stayed and worked with a kikuyu? These people are triblist(sic). Pliz help this nation bye(sic) voting Raila.

• Dealing with problems: where do you fall?

  Posted: October 15, 2007, 12:01 pm by ritch

  Different people have different ways of dealing with problems and difficulties. Some of the means and ways are politic and advisable while others are no-brainers.
  
  Check what you would do…
  
  a). Are you one who would opt to fill the cracks instead of finding out why there are cracks (to avert something even more sinister from seeing the light of day)?
  
  b). Are you one who would paint the cracks to make them 'invisible'?
  
  c). Are you one who would dig up the sides of the foundation to find out why the building is shaky?
  
  d). Are you one who would literally demolish the building, the cost of the building notwithstanding, to build a more stable one in its place?
  
  e). Are you one who would run after lizards that crawl out of the cracks, instead of paying attention to many a cranny threatening the stability of your building?
  
  f). Are you one who would sit by, arms folded and watch as the building crumbles in one big heap?
  
  g). Are you one who would exhibit the ostrich syndrome. That is, hide your head in the sand and think that because you cannot see the enemy (read problem) then he is non-existent?
  Talk of denying and circumventing nitty-gritty!

• Mon Fils, Prend-Le Doucement: (Le SIDA Est Un Rodeur Rapace)

  Posted: October 15, 2007, 11:26 am by ritch

  This is the French version of my poem: My Son, Take it Slow: Aids is a Rapacious Prowler.
  A certain lady in Ivory Coast, Betty Mande, after reading it, and having been touched to the core by the advice that the old lady in the poem gives to her grandson, decided to contact me. She asked for permission to translate it to French so that French speaking peoples in Africa (and the world over) could be reached by the “urgent” message (as she put it). I readily agreed.
  Read the English Version Here.
  
  Mon fils, je suis maintenant une vieille femme,
  Je sens mes ancêtres me faire signe,
  Mon coeur est penché et peureux !
  Mon corps : vieux et fragile.
  
  Dans les années, j’ai été au tour,
  J’ai beaucoup appris concernant le monde,
  Je sens le temps est prêt,
  Pour partager avec vous mon arsenal.
  
  Dans les mois recents, j’ étais entrain de vous regarder,
  Vous regardant ardemment, regardant avec des yeux de tristesse,
  Mes yeux n’avaient pas sommeillé dans ma veille,
  Ma garde n’avait pas fondu en sentinelle.
  
  Mon fils, j’ai peur de ce que je vois,
  J’ai peur de ce que je rêve,
  J’ai peur de ce que je vois dans tes yeux,
  J’ai peur de ton ardeur et de ton courage.
  
  Mon fils, j’ai peur,
  Le plus je pense à ce que tu fais,
  Le plus, je suis vieux que mon âge,
  Le plus, le peuple commente sur ma vieillesse.
  
  Ceux-ci sont les jours noirs, mon fils,
  Jours où ton grand-pére et moi n’avaient jamais rêvé,
  Jours comblés par l’obscurité,
  Jours dont constament j’essaie de souhaiter loin.
  
  Mon fils, ne t’ ennuie pas, tiens bon,
  Je ne suis pas arrogant, sois-en sûr,
  Ecoute-moi cette fois,
  Ecoute l’ hésitation dans ma voix.
  
  Ceci est le troisième mois depuis que j’ ai commencé ma vigile,
  Mon fils, je vois les differentes dames à tes côtés chapue jour passant,
  Les dames fabuleusement batues,
  Dames au monde renversé te tiennent compagnie.
  
  On t’appelle, ‘Monsieur Boss, l’ homme en mouvement’,
  Merci aux énumerables partenaires sexuels que tu detiens,
  Ceci est foux, mon fils,
  Ça s’appelle sale injustice et malgloire.
  
  Mon fils, veuxe-tu me voir aller à la tombe précossement ?
  Veux-tu me laisser parler moi-même jusqu’ à la voix rauque ?
  Veux-tu me laisser mouiller mon oreiller de larmes pendant des heures ?
  Veux-tu que je te voies tomber comme de pierres à la carrière ?
  
  Quand le SID A te souris, mon fils,
  Il n’ y aura pas un retour en arrière,
  Ça te mangera et te rongera jusqu’ à la moelle,
  Ça te tournera de l’ exterieur – s’il te plait, épargne-moi de douleurs !
  
  Je ne veux pas imaginer (mais c’est une part de maux nocturnes que je ne peux éviter),
  Le plus élancé, beau garçon que je connais,
  Reduisant à une regretable sculpture,
  Une sculpture aux plaies, furoncles et cheveux tombant...
  
  Mon fils, le SIDA est réel,
  Ça rode le voisinage avec vengeance,
  De grâce, assieds-toi et repense à ta conduite,
  Une HIV libre génération commence par toi, mon fils

• Vernacular Lingua Franca?

  Posted: October 13, 2007, 4:04 am by ritch

  The aim of this article is not in any way to fan the smoldering embers of tribalism to a roaring fire nor to stoke the hearth of tribal prejudice. Far from that.
  
  There are some of us who are so much in ‘love’ with our tribal languages that we feel inclined to use them to communicate even in public places and offices – oblivious of the fact that it doesn’t rest very well in the ears of the people who can not help but hear what you are talking with your mate.
  
  (Come to Nairobi and you’ll think you’re at the centre of a Kikuyu colony. Virtually every two other people you meet with conversing will be “Aterere-ing!” You catch the drift.)
  
  Some of the proponents of this ‘system’ find it very easy to gossip about people in and around the office by using their vernacular other than the standard Kiswahili or English that is normally supposed to be used (to communicate in offices and public places).
  
  It incredibly irks me when I hear people talking in their mother tongue in an office oblivious of who is around them and what discomfort they leave in their wake.
  
  But the results of using the mother tongue in public places do sometimes turn out to be amusing and embarrassing all in one pot.
  
  This reminds me of a certain incident which took place in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania some years back. Two Kenyan ladies (from the same tribe) had boarded a bus to town one Saturday morning. As they were settling in the vehicle (Daladala), a burly man got into the vehicle and sat close to them.
  
  One look at the man and one of the ladies almost instantly started telling her friend, in mother tongue, what she thought of the man: a big, good-for-nothing man. In the same vein and tongue, the other lady, tongue-in-cheek, said that she wouldn’t date a guy his size. And she also thought that he wore smelly socks.
  
  And the undue criticism of the man went on and on.
  
  The man got off the vehicle first. As he was alighting, he turned to the two ladies with a sly smile playing on his lips, and, in their mother tongue (the girls’), wished them a good day. This struck the ladies and they realized that what they had all along said about the man had been understood by him. With egg on their faces, they just looked down and felt immensely foolish.
  You can contact me at this Email Address.

• Tribalism: Kenya’s blood-sucking vampire

  Posted: October 13, 2007, 4:03 am by ritch

  There've been heated debates on the tribalism issue, mooted and dissected on a motley of forums. The internet(blogs & sites), newspapers, magazines, tabloids and pamphlets have helped potray the dynamics of this 'touchy' issue.
  
  I've been following the goings-on with bated breath and each time I read or hear about tribalistic issues, this question always screams for an answer: when are we going to open our eyes and see that tribalism (tribalistic mindsets) 'helps' to sever the cords of national unity and harmony?
  
  Having lived outside Kenya for sometime, I've seen Kenyans of different tribal origins working together as brothers and sisters, their tribalistic mindsets notwithstanding. I've seen, for instance, Kikuyus and Luos working in harmony and calling each other 'bro' or 'sis'. I've seen them doing things together, things they would not have attempted or a brotherliness that would never have materialised were it in Kenya.
  
  This is a sorry state of affairs. Must we go out of the country to realise that tribalism should never be an issue and that we can work as brothers and sisters (AS KENYANS) even at home.
  
  If we can live and work as brothers outside Kenya, then, how much more feasible it should be in our homeland!!
  
  Outside Kenya we call ourselves Kenyans; in Kenya we call ourselves 'Luos', 'Kikuyus', 'Kambas', Kalenjins'... the list is endless. What does someone in his right senses make of this?
  "HYPOCRISY!" You scream, and I pat you on the back and, smilingly, tell you, "You've hit the nail on the head."
  
  We are hypocrites, God forgive us. We always want to be molly coddled and told that we are on the right path. But in this matter, we are wide of the mark.
  
  Hello Kenyans. We are Kenyans whether Luo, Kikuyu, Nandi, Luhya, name it. We'll always be Kenyans. Let's behave, eat and live as Kenyans should. Let the strength of brotherhood be our bastion.
  
  Let's elect people, not because they are Kikuyu, Luo, Kamba or any other tribe, but because they can steer us to the acme we aspire. The decisions we make today will go a long way in defining our lives and nationhood, whether rash or well-thought out!
  
  Did I hear you smack your lips in dissatisfaction?
  
  My plea: Let's treat each other as Kenyans. Treat fellow Kenyans as you would your beloved brother, sister, son or daughter: with love, respect and sincerity.
  
  You can contact me at this Email Address.

• My Son, Take it Slow: Aids is a Rapacious Prowler

  Posted: October 13, 2007, 3:58 am by ritch

  Behaviour change should be accentuated and re-emphasized in the fight against Aids. This is simply because, without behaviour change we are almost hitting a brick wall with bare fists in fighting this debilitating scourge.
  
  Below, is the advice of a grandmother to her hot-blooded, carefree grandson.
  
  My son, I am now an old woman,
  I feel the ancestors beckoning to me,
  My heart is punctured and frayed,
  My body: old and frail.
  
  In the years I have been around,
  I've learnt so much 'bout the world,
  I feel the time is ripe,
  To share with you my arsenal.
  
  In recent months, I've been watching you,
  Watching you keenly; watching with eyes of steel,
  My eyes have not slumbered in my watch,
  My guard has not dropped in my sentry.
  
  My son, I am afraid of what I see;
  I am afraid of what I dream;
  I am afraid of what I see in your eyes;
  I am afraid of your zest and vim.
  
  My son, I am afraid,
  The more I think of what you are doing,
  The more I age past my age,
  The more people comment on how old I look.
  
  These are dark days, my son,
  Days your grandpa and I never dreamt of,
  Days graced by pitch darkness,
  Days I constantly try to wish away.
  
  My son, don't get bored; keep still,
  I am not vacillating, be sure of that,
  Listen to me this once,
  Listen to the drawl and drag in my voice.
  
  This is the third month since I started my 'vigil',
  My son, I see different ladies at your side every passing day:
  Ladies fabulously endowed with 'well-rounded bums';
  Ladies with earth-shattering smiles keep you company.
  
  They call you 'Mr. Chics – the guy with the move',
  Thanx to the innumerable sexual partners you keep,
  This is sickening, my son:
  Downright filthy and inglorious is what I call it.
  
  My son, do you want to see me going to an early grave?
  Do you want me to talk myself hoarse – and go insane in the process?
  Do you want me to wet my pillow with tears into the wee hours?
  Do you want me to see you crumbling like a fallen block of granite?
  
  When Aids smiles at you, my son,
  There'll be no turning