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• How Prof Ole Kiyiapi Might Just Sneak in to State House

  Posted: April 25, 2012, 3:11 am by kumekucha

  By Mpesa  The elections are still a long way ahead yet we have these bizarre rituals, murder plots and other funny conspiracy theories being floated about by wild politicians as they go about sowing their political wild oats. By the time we hit August, Kenyans will be sick and tired of all the politicking going on. It will be hard for these tiresome politicians who are dancing themselves lame before the main event to keep that lead on opinion polls and this is where the "unknown unknowns" like Prof Ole Kiyiapi might just sneak in. 
  I was watching this charismatic Kenyan being interviewed on live TV this morning (Citizen) and wondered why we Kenyans keep electing thieves, crooks, liars and cheats who happen to be tribal bigots in place of the likes of Ole Kiyiapi, the late Wangari Maathai among others. What's so fascinating about these overnight billionaires and crooks we keep on electing some who would idle around "jobless corner" outside Hilton just some few years back. 
  Ole Kiyiapi was even candid enough to declare his wealth to all Kenyans, he's still renting in the city (lucky me at least I have a mortgage) and just bought a car the other day which he's still paying for among other interesting revelations. Now, just imagine someone like Saitoti declaring his wealth on live TV and telling us how he made all his billions! 
  I think Kenyans are at a crossroads. We either elect someone like Ole Kiyiapi who means well for this nation or the usual crooks who are promising to unleash hell if they are not elected. Personally I'm not saying I will automatically vote Ole Kiyiapi, but I wish more honest guys like him would come forward so we can have a wide selection. I believe it's time for Kenyans to be very angry this year with the usual order of things and start thinking outside the box- and not what tribe so and so represents!Kumekucha

  
  

• Secrets Behind Bizarre Gitobu Imanyara Carjacking

  Posted: April 23, 2012, 10:25 am by kumekucha

  Some people seem to think that Gitobu Imanyara’s harrowing experience the other day in the hands of hoodlums who threatened him was a joke. After all politicians claim all the time that their lives are in danger.
  
  However there are two details (stranger than fiction) in the Gitobu Imanyara saga that makes it stand out and indeed very scary to Kenyans who are sensitive to these things.
  
  The first is that the whole incident took place just a few metres from the precincts of State house Nairobi.
  
  Secondly the bizarre instructions that the legislator was given. That is to face Mount Kenya and utter the words; “Uhuru tuko Pamoja.” Why face Mount Kenya? Why utter those particular words? Why three times?
  
  The whole of the area surrounding State house Nairobi is a high security zone and understandably so. You don’t move around in that area armed to the teeth, let alone carjack a legislator and ask him to kneel on the road while you casually threaten him. That is plain insanity. Unless of course you were for some reason not scared of the presidential security detail. Now under what circumstances would you not be worried about the presidential security detail? Kindly chew on that, digest and then figure it out for yourself.
  
  The facing Mount Kenya business has a lot of significance also.
  
  Those who have read my landmark book “Dark Secrets of the Kenyan Presidency” (Go to THIS page and scroll down to the bottom to get your free copy of the book in your email today) will know that the founding father of the nation was raised by a famous medicine-man. This was after he lost both his parents at a tender age.
  
  Magana (the name of that witchdoctor) told Kenyatta when he was very young that he was destined to be a very famous leader one day. He also told the youngster that his leadership was tied to Mount Kenya and that when the time came some sacrifices would be required on that mountain. That is why Kenyatta stuck to traditional beliefs all his life and he believed Mount Kenya was a sacred mountain. And this is one of the reasons why he wrote the book Facing Mount Kenya. The rest of this bizarre story is in my book including the sacrifice that is said to have been made on that mountain for the Jomo Kenyatta presidency.
  
  Fast forward to the presidential elections of 2002 and sacrifices were again made on Mount Kenya on behalf of the presidential candidate Uhuru Kenyatta.
  
  I will not go further in explaining the full spiritual implications of these actions because it is my firm belief that my readers cannot handle it. However what I can confidently reveal to you here and now is that we are already in the season of witchdoctors and withcraft. A vast majority of politicians right across the political divide have already consulted witchdoctors or will do so in the next few weeks and months. Presidential candidates may even find that the witchdoctors in the country are not powerful enough and will seek outside ones most notably in countries like Tanzania, Nigeria and India.
  
  The bizarre Gitobu Imanyara incident is just a tip of the iceberg. All over the country as you read this, politicians even very well educated chaps are visiting these strange places and these full grown men are doing all kinds of bizarre things in the name of winning the forthcoming polls. Repeating words and phrases three times or seventy seven times. Having sex with corpses or old women etc. We are in campaign season and what is even more worrying is that it may end up being a very prolonged campaign season.
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  I have just released the most explosive raw notes I have penned in a very long times. Get free samples of past raw notes at rawnotes@listwire.comKumekucha

  
  

• Evans Kidero Governorship Bid: Good intentions, Bad Calculations?

  Posted: April 18, 2012, 10:29 pm by kumekucha

  By Mpesa and Anon@4:53Any publicity is good publicity. We can all pick Waititu from the crowd any day but who can recognize this Evans Kidero guy or that Philip Kisia who has messed up our city from where former town clerk Gakuo left off?
  Evans Kidero: Aggressively campaigning for Nairobi governor.I agree with Chris, like or hate him, Waititu (also famous for stuffing wads of notes in his socks like a real makanga) is the man to beat! I predicted right here that Sonko was the man to beat in Makadara long before that by-election after watching him closely and his relationship with the walala hoi. Waititu is a real hustler who also runs a garbage collection business in the city and has employed hundreds of down and out youths. He is just using Sonko's well tested formula of representing the hopeless and showing them he feels their pain by joining them in slum demonstrations and hurling stones at people who grab their precious little unlike designer suit wearing and snobbish Kidero and Kisia who would rather be seen dead than "chafuaing" their hands in stone throwing!
  Anon@4:53 Adds;Evans Kidero of all people a front runner for Nairobi governor? Are you really sure Chris? Why the mention of Evans Kidero with regard to seeking one of the high profile political seats in the nation's capital?
  With all due respect to Kidero, his underground political network, old time golfing buddies, and his diehard sympathizers, running for the gubernatorial elections in any part of the country is way far beyond Kidero's league.
  And this includes other so-called ambitious (former and current) CEOs, PSs, military officers (rtd) and school teachers who are busy trying to seek or take a bite at the sordid parliamentary pies in high profile urban elections in 2013.
  Good intentions, bad calculations for one sugar plantation manager, a man who needs to first learn how to crawl before he can even try walking in his own home backyard of somewhere in the region west or east of the vast sugar plantation under his supervision.
  And as for the so-called Raila support for people like Kidero and company, it will amount to zilch, (zero, nada, bila, sufuri), in any far away places like in the metropolitan regions of the country.
  Even in Kibera of all places, Kidero will not win any amount of votes that will place him above the other four candidates who have already decided to seek the soon to be vacant parliamentary seat of Kibera.
  Running a sugar plantation, whereby Kidero has been so used to flying out to Nairobi on the company's 'semi-hired' plane (in the same manner the European nyaparas of old used to do) at a moment's notice does not qualify him for being the right candidate for the gubernatorial seat in Nairobi.
  Not that there's any person out there who is suitable yet to govern the very huge metropolitan plantation that is hundred times more complex than the rural sugar plantation where it's so easy to please the sugar farmers with little bonuses here and there during every other harvest season. Or when all fails, have the farmers held hostage with scary tales and rumours about plummeting sugar prices on the world markets.
  Flying out to Nairobi every weekend to play a around of golf, or having lunch with business associates on company's dime (ndururu) should NOT make people like Kidero overestimate their political abilities beyond the limited confines of their current corporate plantations.
  People like Kidero and company are not yet ready for showtime in the political arenas of seeking elective office in places such as Mumias ("his adopted backyard"), Kisumu, Nakuru, let alone in Mombasa or even Nairobi.
  By the way, Waititu wa Matata would defeat Kidero hands-down in a landslide victory whether all of Waititu's opponents in and around the city of Nairobi like him or not.
  There are some really shocking Musalia Mudavadi revelations in my latest raw notes. Get sample notes now by sending an email now to rawnotes@listwire.com
  The easiest step-by-step program to make money online.
  
  Kumekucha

  
  

• Survey Shows Surprising Front Runners For Nairobi Governorship

  Posted: April 17, 2012, 9:06 am by kumekucha

  Politics in Kenya is going to be extremely interesting and engrossing over the next couple of years.
  Take a recent Kumekucha survey done to determine who would win governor of Nairobi if elections were to be held today.
  
  Ferdinand Waititu: The people's governor?
  
  Fiery stone-throwing MP for Embakasi Ferdinand Waititu would win by a landslide and his closest rival would be Evans Kidero. I still can’t bring myself to believe those results!
  This is the kind of news that would greatly alarm those who own Nairobi and would like a polished governor to match the status of the most prestigious city in the region and beyond. Indeed people in places like Dar-es-salaam usually talk about going to Nairobi like they were going to London.
  Bureaucrats will be equally alarmed at my survey results because the Nairobi governor will have sweeping powers and a colossal budget to boot and so the post would require somebody who has a quick grasp of numbers so that they can make the right decisions for the city in the sun. Honorable Waititu certainly does not fit the bill.
  A former chair-hurling councilor at city hall Waititu is wildly popular at the grassroots and even in slum areas that are outside his Embakasi constituency. He says that he got his “degrees” from India (it is a legal requirement that a candidate for governor possesses a university degree from a recognized institution of higher learning). Still he is the kind of brush and uncouth character who has been caught on TV cameras actually assaulting somebody who was “trying to grab my people’s land.” Indeed this is a man whom the ordinary down and out Kenyans living in slums see as one of their own.
  But hate him or like him, he will be the candidate to beat for Nairobi governor.
  The view of this blogger is that I hate polished pretenders who are responsible for a lot of the problems facing the country today and nobody (not even me) has the right to oppose the choice of the people. The reality is that the votes that will decide the governor of Nairobi are not in the leafy estates of Westlands and Muthaiga but in the filthy slums of Nairobi.
  The way things are going the race for Nairobi governor is going to be even more interesting than that for the presidency. I am looking forward to it because there are plenty of political lessons to be learnt by many naïve readers of this blog and other Kenyans.
  P.S. Apparently Evans Kidero has been doing his homework in the grass roots because I was shocked when his name showed up as runner up in my survey for governor of Nairobi. There is no doubt that support from PM Raila Odinga has helped his campaign efforts considerably.
  There are some really shocking Musalia Mudavadi revelations in my latest raw notes. Get sample notes now by sending an email now to rawnotes@listwire.com
  The easiest step-by-step program to make money online. Kumekucha

  
  

• What Is Gema Really Up To?

  Posted: April 7, 2012, 10:30 am by kumekucha

  By Anonymous and Mpesa
  I think the problem is that Kumekucha Chris has missed the point in the previous post.
  I think the Gema illuminati, more than anyone else, know that those signatures and petitions will not stop a legal process from advancing. Instead, what we should ask ourselves is why the Gema meeting?
  You will find that Uhuru has for the past couple of years been pretty much up there in leadership and this concretized sometime last year-so the timing of the Gema meeting to make this announcement is out of sync with happenings. So what might be the value to the Gema illuminati of having held this meeting? I think there are two things. One, to test the extent to which the rest of the country would be rattled by the prospects of a unified Gema. This has succeeded. Two, to bait the "Raila domo domo" group. This has succeeded immensely. There has been a flurry of writings, statements and so on, many of which are incendiary and fit rather well in the category HATE SPEECH. The rest will be history-stay tuned.
  I wonder, why are the odomos so slow to pick up nuances?
  Mpesa adds...The International Criminal Court based at The Hague in Netherlands does not recognize tribal groupings like GEMA and KAMATUSA. The Hague bound train left the station long time ago and is unstoppable. Let's assume Uhuru was elected the president of Kenya (which will be a tall order..) do you think other leaders from across the world would even dare shake the hand of someone facing the most heinous crimes known to man? Leaders of the world would rather be dead than pose smiling with someone who could end up being guilty. And that's the message Uhuru got when he tried to cling on Finance docket, "mere" ministers from other countries were ignoring him and that's why he had to quit. And if the Kibaki Administration fails to cooperate with the ICC (which they are planning to do!) then we shall be hit with severe sanctions that will cripple our economy and hurt Kenyans (GEMA included) real bad.
  For starters, expect a total ban on flowers being exported to Europe, rendering thousands of poor Kenyans jobless and of course with that crime shoots through the roof. Ditto foreign tourists and this will cause hundreds of hotels to be shut and more job losses. If you think the price of unga and petrol is high, just wait when we are slapped with vikwazos. All these for the sake of Muthamaki (one of the richest men in Africa) who believes he was born to rule? Wake up Kenyans...stop dreaming! Kenya is bigger than anyone of us.
   In my latest Raw notes; Eugene's dark secrets from the past plus Kumekucha investigates the Lilian Muli allegede scandal with shocking results. Get an INSTANT sneak preview of my red hot raw notes by sending an email now to; rawnotes4@listwire.com
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• Will Tribal Numbers Move The ICC?

  Posted: April 4, 2012, 3:49 am by kumekucha

  At least we know one thing for sure now. Contrary to what we were being told in the prayer rallies (cum presidential show of might campaigns) the ICC cases against William Ruto and Uhuru Kenyatta are a very very big deal.
  We also know something else for sure now. As things stand, it will not be possible for Uhuru and Ruto to run in the next general elections. Why else would they want the ICC process to be halted until after the general elections?
  The latest move by the powerful G7 (which has let the cat out of the bag and confirmed many things that we already knew) is to seek over a million signatures from the house of Mumbi and 3 million from the Kalenjin community petitioning the ICC to apply emergency brakes on court proceedings so that the sons of these two tribes can run for the presidency of the banana republic of Kenya.
  But lets not get mixed up here (like they want us to be). Instead let’s identify the true source of all these "acrobatics." Team Uhuru? NOPE!!! Perhaps the Ruto camp? NO WAY!!
  Actually it is all coming from the handlers of president Kibaki. And as I have been repeatedly saying here and in my popular raw notes, the president and his handlers will do everything in their power to scuttle the ICC process. And it is not because the president loves Uhuru and Ruto so much despite the fact that he was the one who walked into the maternity hospital where Mama Ngina birthed a son in 1963 and declared "Uhuru tosha kama jina" and that became the name of the youngster born with a silver spoon. 
  Forget all that, it is an act of pure self preservation. If the cases against the Ocampo four do not go forward then it means that there is no chance of Mwai Kibaki being picked up after he leaves office to face the music (not Mungithi) at the Hague.
  In fact our politics at the moment (and the violence in the country) are all being driven by one thing and one thing alone. Namely the ICC cases at the Hague against four Kenyans, with other suspects to be charged later.
  I will end my post today by asking and answering two questions.
  Questions:1. Will the ICC be moved by the millions of signatures that will be collected?2. Millions of signatures? Is the move to halt the ICC proceedings against the Ocampo 4 that popular amongst ordinary Kenyans?
  Answers:1. NO.2. Actually a vast majority of Kenyans believe that Uhuru, Ruto and the other two are guilty as charged and would love for the trials to proceed ASAP. So where will the signatures come from then? Hehehehe, signatures are no problem, some smart computer whizz kids are going round selling data bases to political parties of names of Kenyans and their id cards complete with signatures. The very same lists on the very same flash disks will come in handy this time round. And so chances are very high indeed that Kumekuchas signature will be in the list petitioning for the cases to be postponed and so will be yours, upende usipende. This coupled with public signature sessions where you sign infront of the TV cameras and then collect a thousand bob off-camera on your way out will do the trick neatly.  Unajeza na waKenya!!!
  The easiest step-by-step program to make money online.Kumekucha

  
  

• No Tribalism In Kenyans Slums Plus White Woman With Black Children Saga

  Posted: March 29, 2012, 7:28 am by kumekucha

  By M-Pesa
  When was the last time you left your big air conditioned office and ventured deep in the slums of Korogocho, Mathare or Kibera?
  Here you will find that most inhabitants are actually Kikuyus and Luos and of course a substantial number from other tribes. These people have intermarried deeply, play, laugh, joke, trade and drink together. They even borrow salt from the neighbour when they run short while cooking. Many young people here actually don't even know the tribes of their mates (and they have no interest in knowing). But come elections and through those dirty politicians and their provocative speeches that incite "kabila adui.." as well as distribution of cash will suddenly cause "tribal clashes." The truth is that Kenyans are generally peace loving people who just want to be left alone to feed their families- that's all that matters to them. Many Kenyans from various tribes have settled all over the land- from Kambas at the coast to Luhyas and Luos working in the coffee plantations and factories in Thika- to the Mkisii in Kitengela. I think the biggest problem is IMPUNITY where leaders like William "chop off their fingers" Ntimama will incite and get away with it scot free.
  I also think ordinary Kenyans can partly be blamed for allowing themselves to be brainwashed. We must ignore these tribal rallies.
  Mystery of Faithful White French Woman Who Gave Birth To Black Children
  A young French woman living in Australia, and dating an African of South African descent, whom she met while they were college students in Queensland, asks her boyfriend, what ethnic background are you anyway?
  The African boyfriend hesitates for a moment before replying, of course I am South African from Transvaal. Can't you see the obvious? And why do you ask after we have been dating for over seven months"
  The young French woman replies, I am two and half months pregnant, and I just want to know more about your other side of the family.
  The African boyfriend replies, what side? Eeeeh! There is nothing for you to worry about at all. I guarantee there won't be any little nasty surprises for you when the baby arrives.
  The young French women remarks, what do you really mean by 'there won't be any little nasty surprises' for me?
  Her African boyfriend reassures her by saying, my family's old blood lines are as pure as they have been since the arrival of our forefathers in South Africa during the 17th century.
  The rest as they say is history that's very predictable in some critical situations.
  The young French mother was deserted by her African boyfriend after giving birth to healthy cute looking twin sons.
  What caused the desertion? Well, her African boyfriend accused her of having been unfaithful to him, and even went on to castigate her for having withheld critical information about her allegedly North African (Algerian) ancestry from him, when they first met, and which would have been a vital determinant of any slight chance of his involvement with her.
  Unbeknown to her now former African boyfriend, Most Afrikaner families have between 5% and 7% non-white ancestry, such as Khoi African, Indonesian and Indian, as the early Dutch settlement at the Cape allowed inter-racial marriage. 
  - Mordechai Tamarkin. Cecil Rhodes and the Cape Afrikaners. 
  In Kumekucha's latest raw notes he gains access to a secret dossier of what big wig politicians are spending cash on in relation to the forthcoming presidential elections and one payee name attracts his attention considerably. Get FREE samples of my  my controversial raw notes NOW!!
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• Even The Most Diehard Tribalist in Kenya Has Blood That They Hate

  Posted: March 28, 2012, 2:33 pm by kumekucha

  I acknowledge that many of the good folks who leave comments in this blog are smarter than I am. And so I will be regularly re-posting some of the best comments from each post I make to highlight the words of wisdom from many commentators here and give them more visibility.-Chris Kumekucha-
  - By Mwarangethe-Anyone who has spent a few hours reading history will tell you this:
  - THERE IS NO PURE TRIBE or RACE.
  As a matter of fact, there is no pure Gikuyu/Gema and no pure Mzungu.
  People have all kinds of blood in them from past ages. Even the most die hard racist has all of blood he "hates."
  As such, to think that, people are tribalists or racist because they have pure blood is not true and is not even the issue.
  Even if you wiped all tribes, men would reconstitute these "tribes" under many schemes like:
  - religion,- class,- color,- nobles and knights,- language,- exclusive clubs,- secret societies,- football clubs (AFC v Gor Mahia), Manchester V Arsenal, Celtic v....- families (House of, v House of ...etc etc.
  Men are what they are. They are what they are because, this world is COMPETITION.
  This being so, those who ARE WISE, know that, you cannot win alone. As such, you COMBINE with others who share somethings with you, be it in terms of religion (Ireland as an example), language, culture, families, clans, football clubs, etc, to win the competition.
  More so, man being what he is, when his NATURAL ASSOCIATIONS like clans, tribes, families are BROKEN by violent means, as happened in Kenya, men will eventually, go back to those NATURAL ASSOCIATIONS whether you like it or not.
  In fact, this is exactly what is happening in Kenya right now. The only question is:
  - shall we be wise enough to handle the reversion to old associations in a mature manner or,
  - we shall be foolish to use force to cement the broken egg?
  NB: Have you see what is happening in Mombasa?
  In Somalia, when the colonial State broke down into NATURAL ASSOCIATIONS of Somalis (clans), instead of them accepting that fact, and use the FEDERATIVE principle, some of the clans schemed how to put all the clans back into one tyrannical bottle again. The consequence? 20 years of war.
  NB: In Libya, it shall also, break up into its ancient states/elements dating to the Roman times. And, if some of them try to put the egg back, there will be violence.
  NB: Check Iraq, Congo, Sudan, Yugoslavia, USSR, India etc.
  We may even add, check France (Basque), Spain (Catalan), Texas (USA), Canada (Quebec) and even Italy south and North divide.
  It may take time, but, the egg will fall apart sooner or later. Things are what they are, or, It is the Nature of Things.
  NB: Within these clans, families and tribes, there is also, fierce competition going on.
  This being the ESTABLISHED historical evidence since the STONE AGE, the BEST we can do is:
  - adopt a FEDERATIVE PRINCIPLE in "uniting" these tribes and stop using force. If some want to leave, let them leave.
  For instance, the Kikuyu's alone are more than Danish and Swedish population, so, they can form their state called:
  - Mungiki United State of Nyumba Ya Mumbi, if they want.
  Finally, Chris, can you tell us this:
  - What will a Gikuyu gain by voting a Luo into presidency because, presidency is not a flower girl thing?Kumekucha

  
  

• These Stupid Luos

  Posted: March 25, 2012, 6:17 am by kumekucha

  If you played God over Kenya for just a single day you would laugh until your poor ribs ached. You would laugh at the sheer stupidity of this cancer called tribalism.
  Now as God for just a day, you would be able to read minds and know exactly what people were thinking. You would be able to see exactly how many assassins were at the scene when Tom Mboya was assassinated and solve the mystery of who exactly the bald-headed man who pulled the trigger was. You would no all secrets and be familiar with all skeletons hidden in people's closets.
  But the hilarious part would involve this Kikuyu chauvinist very proud of his tribe and who totally believes that the Kikuyu are superior and the only tribe capable of ruling Kenya as they have proved twice already. Hata serikali ya Moi ilisimama na bahati, no other tribe is capable of establishing and maintaining a government and that is just a pure fact, according to our friend.
  Now why would a typical Kikuyu tribalist interest God? Patience, my son, patience my daughter. You will discover the hilarious truth in a moment.
  As God for 24 hours you will also be able to see all the sins against the Luo community that our bigot Kikuyu extremist has committed over the years. What he did at campus and what he did at Naivasha during the post election violence. You will also see that he has no apologies to make.
  Now let us call this guy Njoro (short for Njoroge). The name of his mother is Jemima Wairimu Chege and his father is called John Kamau Ngotho. And so he is pure Kikuyu “superior” blood… or is he?
  As God you would be able to see what happened some 30 years ago when a civil servant called Jemima Wairimu Chege was sent out of town on an assignment. There was a seminar in Embu town that she attended. You would also know that she spent the night in Embu where she got rather cozy with a Mr Moses Waga. A tall drop-dead handsome Luo from the office who always wore a suit. He was also a very charming man with the ladies and invited Jemima Wairimu for a drink that evening. Jemima’s life back home with her husband was always so boring. He never took her out for a drink or anything but John Kamau Ngotho was a good provider and responsible husband and that is all that mattered.
  Now in your position up there you would be able to see a lot of things as you delve into this critical history. You would for instance be able to realize just how true it is that alcohol tends to affect the legs of woman and the brains of man. It causes a woman’s legs to spread very easily and with abandon (need I say more?). And it causes a man’s brain to shift momentarily from his head to the lower parts of his anatomy. That combination is deadly and it is what led to the conception of a man called Njoro.
  As God you would be able to laugh at this silly tribalism thing in small-minded Kenyans because the fact of the matter is that the rabid Kikuyu bigot called Njoro who loves to call Luos stupid is actually a Luo who thinks he is a Kikuyu. His biological father is one Moses Waga from Gem, deep in Luo Nyanza.
  So who is he really insulting every time he opens his mouth and calls Luo’s stupid?
  Get rid of those tribalism demons mate, even your mother may not be so sure what tribe you really are… so why should tribe matter so much?
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• Can You Tell When You Are Being Cheated?

  Posted: March 24, 2012, 5:47 am by kumekucha

  I find it necessary to state a few hard facts before I unleash this extremely sensitive post.
  My children whom I love to bits have Kikuyu blood flowing through their veins. In other words I have close Kikuyu relatives.
  I analyzed my top 5 best friends last night and they are ALL Kikuyu. Every single one of them. Including a very close female friend.Although I was born in Kisumu (just because my parents happen to be travelling through and I couldn’t wait to come into this world) I am NOT a LUO. And neither do I support Raila Odinga. I believe he won the 2007 polls as do most political analysts the world over and as do most Kenyans who can analyze the situation through non-tribal lenses.
  HOWEVER I DO NOT believe that most Kenyans will vote for Raila this time round. Sadly he has passed his sell-by-date.
  On to the subject of this post which is my deep concern about the unfolding political games being played out that will achieve certain selfish objectives and at the same time leave me and you fighting each other in the belief that one of us started it when we are nothing but pawns being used in a chess game that has very little or nothing to do with us.
  In the run up to the 2007 general elections President Mwai Kibaki realized that he was extremely unpopular. The 5 years had flown by way too fast for him and yes he had promised he would be a one term president but then political promises are always made to be broken. His advantage was that the Kikuyu people have numbers and if he extended to the other GEMA tribes we are talking millions of votes. All he needed to do, his handlers told him, was to position himself as a victim disliked and hated because of his tribe.
  That was the message that went out to our precious Kenyan brothers. That Kenyans led by Raila Odinga and the Luos were against the Kikuyu and the plan was to “finish” the Kikuyu (whatever that means). A vast majority of Kenyans were against the Kibaki administration in 2007 and were keen to vote it out. But during the campaigns politicians in central province told the people that the community was under siege. We all know what happened.
  Now fast forward to 2012 and what is the message being packaged and sold to us? It is simply this, that Kikuyus and Kalenjins are under siege. The Luo and other tribes want to finish these two communities by taking them to the ICC at the Hague where they will be found guilty and sent to jail. Reason? To keep them from winning the presidency.
  I get amazed when very highly educated Kenyans write emails to me telling me what I have just said a most in as many words. I am being branded an Odinga man assisting him to “finish” the Kikuyu and Kalenjin. Indeed I received just such an email this week after I released my raw notes detailing what Kibaki handlers are doing to ensure that he remains in power into 2014 by stretching legal technicalities well beyond their limits. These emails were coming from Njoroges, Ngiges, Kamaus etc. most of them PhD holders. These same people have forgotten my controversial raw notes released late last year detailing Raila Odinga’s corrupt ways. If the cream of Kenyan society has swallowed the bait hook line and sinker what do you expect the down and out standard 8 drop outs out there in the villages to do? You tell me!!
  Are Kenyans really that naïve? Are the Kikuyus and Kalenjins now brothers after the tragedy of 2007? Or is somebody just grouping them together for political gain?
  I doubt whether Kenyans will be able to wake up on time to realize what is really happening. I predict that my Kikuyu brothers will read this post and see red. They will identify me as the enemy without reading and grasping what I am really saying here. But am I really the enemy?
  Plans are at an advanced stage to turn Kumekucha into a flower selling blog. Or perhaps a blog selling diapers for toddlers will be more fulfilling? What do you guys think? Whatever you tell me do not mention politics in Kenya because I am just about done with that. Politics in our banana republic is a complete waste of time writing about. What is the point?
  "Like" Kumekucha on Facebook and get regular updates including the stories I am following up some of which I never publish for various reasons. Kumekucha

  
  

• Charity Ngilu's Biggest Political Blunder

  Posted: March 23, 2012, 5:45 am by kumekucha

  Talk of strange bed-fellows.
  The announcement this week that Mrs Charity Ngilu will be George Saitoti's running mate for the presidency was mostly ignored by the media. And with good reason because this is a ticket headed nowhere.Ngilu still holds the record as the only serious woman presidential candidate so far and it remains to be seen if Martha Karua can make a bigger impact this time round. And so it is rather strange that "Mama Rainbow" as she was affectionately known to the electorate in 2002 would accept to be the running mate of perhaps one of the most corrupt Kenyans to ever be Vice President.
  Just to illustrate how politics has benefited George Kinuthia aka George Saitoti, a friend of mine who used to work at the now defunct Barclays Bank Union Towers branch was shocked when Moi announced a relatively unknown man called George Saitoti as his new vice president. "That is the man whose Kenya shillings 500 cheque bounced" was how he described him. The man who did not have Kshs 500 in his account is today one of the wealthiest Kenyans around and one of the very few capable of financing a presidential campaign on his own. Politics is the "business" that has made the mathematics professor stinking rich. How a man with such a track record would want to be president just beats me. But then even Nicholas Biwott who makes Saitoti look like Mother Teresa in comparison will also be running for the presidency this time round, my sources tell me.
  And so why would Ngilu want to damage her favourable political image with the public by working with somebody like Saitoti? It is instructive that although Saitoti has been the minister in charge of internal security, the Kibaki administration preferred the late John Michuki to handle sensitive national security issues irrespective of what docket he was holding. Apparently somebody felt that they could not be entirely sure that Bwana Saitoti would resist taking a bribe when it came to national security matters. That speaks volumes about the character of the man.
  Keen political observers are saying that Ngilu is currently going through some serious financial problems and it is possible that the Saitoti project is less about politics and more about repairing finances.
  Fascinatingly both these two politicians have been named as possible running mates to Raila Odinga's bid for the presidency this time round. It is one of the reasons why Mudavadi decided to swing into action (read sample issues of my raw notes for FREE)
  Still it will be interesting to see these two contrasting politicians campaign together for the presidency for purely entertainment purposes.
  "Like" Kumekucha on Facebook and get regular updates including the stories I am following up some of which I never publish for various reasons.Kumekucha

  
  

• Serious Trouble for Kenya As Late Night Calls Change Election Date To March 4th 2013

  Posted: March 17, 2012, 4:34 am by kumekucha

  The IEBC (Independent Election And Boundaries Commission) has just announced at a Press Conference that the election date for the next general elections will be Monday 4th March 2013.
  This means serious trouble for Kenya because the truth is that the principals yesterday agreed on the December 18th 2012 date (as reported here last night) which means that something changed during the night. This is very dangerous for Kenya and means we are back to January 2008 where President Kibaki would agree on something but later be over-ruled by some of his powerful radical advisors.
  Insiders reveal that there is a huge possibility that one of the coalition partners, Raila Odinga will pull out of the government which will effectively dissolve it and force an earlier election date. And so you can be sure that we have not heard the last of this.
  What worries some analysts is that President Kibaki is displaying the same tendencies of not wanting to leave office that were clearly visible in the run up to to troubled 2007 elections.Kumekucha

  
  

• Breaking News: Election Date Is 18th December 2012 To Be Announced Tomorrow

  Posted: March 16, 2012, 4:55 pm by kumekucha

  Kenyans will go to the polls in historical general elections this year after all. The election date is 18th December 2012, impeccable sources have just informed this blogger. This date is set to be announced by the IEBC tomorrow morning at 11:00 am at the Laico Regency Hotel (formerly Grand Regency) in Nairobi.
  This date has been arrived at after a meeting between the principals and the IEBC earlier today where it was agreed that President Kibaki and Prime Minister Raila Odinga will dissolve the coalition government on October 18th 2012 paving the way for general elections 60 days later on 18th December 2012.
  But keen political observers are still puzzled as to why President Kibaki has given up his 3 extra months so easily. These observers believe that working overnight and overtime it is possible for the powerful G7 faction that is very close to the president to get this commitment to the IEBC made earlier today rescinded. Although if this happens ODM can still pull out of the coalition and force the December 18th election date.
  The election date has caused a lot of anxiety to Kenyans in recent times and if the announcement is made according to plan, this will help ease tensions in the country.
  I will update this post with new information shortly after 11:30 AM Saturday 17th March (Kenyan time).
  
  UPDATEIEBC has just announced that election date will be held on Monday 4th March 2013. This means serious trouble for Kenya because the truth is that the principals agreed on the December 18th date which means that something changed during the night. This is very dangerous for Kenya and means we are back to January 2008 where President Kibaki would agree on something but later be over-ruled by his radical advisors. Insiders reveal that there is a huge possibility that one of the coalition partners, Raila Odinga will pull out of the government which will effectively dissolve it and force an earlier election date. Kumekucha

  
  

• The Truth About Online Degree Courses

  Posted: March 11, 2012, 5:24 pm by kumekucha

  Higher education has become critical these days and the whole world seems to be going back to school. One of the reasons for this is probably because the World Wide Web has made it easier for many busy people to make their dreams come true through an online degree course.
  You cannot argue with the fact that online degrees are convenient and you are spoilt for choice from some of the leading universities in the world. And what is more the cost is also much more manageable since you do not have to be on campus. And neither do you have to give up your current job.
  Little wonder that those running online degree course are making a fortune these days. Naturally where there is so much money flying around, you are bound to find con artists and all kinds of undesirable characters looking to cash in on the situation. Higher education online is no exception.
  The saddest thing about fake online degrees is that the person who is most likely to get prosecuted is you and not the shady diploma mills. It is a very serious offense to present a fake university degree and in some cases the poor job hunter may not even be aware that the online degree they possess is fake.
  Now some people believe that it is very easy to identify a fake online degree course. This is not true because the con artists are getting cleverer and more sophisticated by the day.
  So here are a few tips to help those of you interested in pursuing higher education online.
  Look out for imitations of branded universities and colleges and alleged affiliations. Sometimes the names could be very similar and you may not notice the difference. For instance Hamilton University is the fake version of the real prestigious Hamilton College.
  You also need to check for small errors like spelling and grammatical mistakes. A university takes a lot of pride in this piece of paper and will never allow such mistakes.
  The time in which the degree has been obtained is yet another tell tale sign that all is not well. Real online degree courses will be very demanding and will usually take at the very least two years. When you hear about some fast track degree that will take you six months or less, you have reason to be very worried.
  Also check the address. Fake online universities will have addresses that do not exist or will use P.O. boxes only.
  It is also interesting that fake online training institutions will usually not have a catalog that contains information on the syllabus, schedules and tuition fees. To be on the safe side always and take the trouble to look for online courses that are accredited to the relevant authorities in that country. For instance the United States department of education certifies only universities that pass the department’s stringent standards. And so if your online university is not accredited you know the reason why.
  Having said this there are so many genuine and exciting opportunities being provided by various online degree courses these days which we shall explore here in the days to come.
  Get the latest updates instantly by "liking" this Facebook page Kumekucha

  
  

• Breaking News: Machakos Country Bus Explosions

  Posted: March 10, 2012, 3:08 pm by kumekucha

  Multiple explosions at the busy Machakos Country bus station today shortly after 7 pm has left at least 3 dead and scores injured. At least 21 people have been rushed to hospital with various injuries, some of them very serious.
  Initial indications are that the explosions may have been caused by hand grenades in what appears to be a terrorist attack. The timing of the explosions shorty after 7 pm seems to have been deliberate to cause the maximum number of casualties as this is usually a very busy time at the terminus with many people getting on buses to travel to various upcountry destinations.
  It is not clear how the injured people will receive attention given that the ongoing nurses' strike has crippled normal operations in most public hospitals across the country.
  There is still no official report on the incident.
  Security experts in the country have over the last couple of months been on a high alert expecting a terrorist attack and it was highly expected that one of the upmarket shopping malls would be targeted by the Al Shabab from neighbouring Somalia who have taken heavy losses in the hands of the Kenya Defence Forces.
  We will give more information as we receive it. Kumekucha

  
  

• What Kibaki Wants To Exploit In Waki List

  Posted: March 8, 2012, 5:18 am by kumekucha

  I can confirm to my dear readers that President Mwai Kibaki has a high level think tank tasked with doing nothing else but making the Hague go away for the president. Their latest scheming is what led to the bizarre incident yesterday where a group of youth gained instant access to the president and wide media coverage firing salvos at the ICC.Judge Philip Waki secrets: The man has booked his place in history books.
  
  These are the kind of political games invented by one Thomas Joseph Mboya, ironically the man who drove and old VW Beetle all the way to Makerere University to fetch highly educated Mwai Kibaki to help change the image of Kanu and bolster its’ intellectual credentials. Mboya was a master schemer and when he operated there were frequent petitions from the public that would always support his position and intentions. But alas that is a story for another day.
  The point here is that it is crystal clear that these youth who appeared from nowhere are not the ones who came up with the idea to go and see the president. The idea in fact came from deep inside State house. If you think it is easy to see the president or get an opportunity to present a petition, then just try it out and you will quickly see what I mean. Even visiting Senator Barrack Obama was unable to see Kibaki, even for a few minutes. Incidentally when that happened nobody in Kenya believed that that Ka-senator jaruo would ever become president of the most powerful nation in the world. Now Kibaki has a big problem getting n appointment to see President Obama and quite rightly so. (I will tell that story in my next post)
  So what was the whole purpose of yesterday’s drama at the president’s office in Harambee house? What is in the Waki report that the president’s men want to exploit?
  The whole idea is to cash in on a very powerful emotion that politicians always take advantage of. It is called sympathy. Sympathy has won landslide elections all over the world and there is no telling what this thing can acheieve.
  Tucked away in the Waki list are two names that will hit Kenyans so hard that many will change their views on this whole Hague thing. Those two names are….. (Drums rolling please)
  Njenga Karume
  John Njoroge Michuki
  What!!!!
  Yep.
  You get my drift. It is quite possible that this will start a major push from Kenyans (who worship dead people and fear them more than they fear almighty God himself) to insist that the post election violence be tried in Kenya. More importantly if this grand plot succeeds then it will mean that President Kibaki is off the hook and will not soon join his good friend Al Bashir on the suspects’ list.
  
  Expect the Waki list to be made public very soon.
  Wonders never cease.
  
  Why Kibaki is the main target of the ICC
  "Like" the Kumekucha page and get a free copy of a Kumekucha book of your choice.
  
  What Kumekucha is reading;
  How M-Pesa Disrupts Entire Economies Kumekucha

  
  

• What Kibaki Wants To Exploit In Waki List

  Posted: March 8, 2012, 5:18 am by kumekucha

  I can confirm to my dear readers that President Mwai Kibaki has a high level think tank tasked with doing nothing else but making the Hague go away for the president. Their latest scheming is what led to the bizarre incident yesterday where a group of youth gained instant access to the president and wide media coverage firing salvos at the ICC.Judge Philip Waki secrets: The man has booked his place in history books.
  
  These are the kind of political games invented by one Thomas Joseph Mboya, ironically the man who drove and old VW Beetle all the way to Makerere University to fetch highly educated Mwai Kibaki to help change the image of Kanu and bolster its’ intellectual credentials. Mboya was a master schemer and when he operated there were frequent petitions from the public that would always support his position and intentions. But alas that is a story for another day.
  The point here is that it is crystal clear that these youth who appeared from nowhere are not the ones who came up with the idea to go and see the president. The idea in fact came from deep inside State house. If you think it is easy to see the president or get an opportunity to present a petition, then just try it out and you will quickly see what I mean. Even visiting Senator Barrack Obama was unable to see Kibaki, even for a few minutes. Incidentally when that happened nobody in Kenya believed that that Ka-senator jaruo would ever become president of the most powerful nation in the world. Now Kibaki has a big problem getting n appointment to see President Obama and quite rightly so. (I will tell that story in my next post)
  So what was the whole purpose of yesterday’s drama at the president’s office in Harambee house? What is in the Waki report that the president’s men want to exploit?
  The whole idea is to cash in on a very powerful emotion that politicians always take advantage of. It is called sympathy. Sympathy has won landslide elections all over the world and there is no telling what this thing can acheieve.
  Tucked away in the Waki list are two names that will hit Kenyans so hard that many will change their views on this whole Hague thing. Those two names are….. (Drums rolling please)
  Njenga Karume
  John Njoroge Michuki
  What!!!!
  Yep.
  You get my drift. It is quite possible that this will start a major push from Kenyans (who worship dead people and fear them more than they fear almighty God himself) to insist that the post election violence be tried in Kenya. More importantly if this grand plot succeeds then it will mean that President Kibaki is off the hook and will not soon join his good friend Al Bashir on the suspects’ list.
  
  Expect the Waki list to be made public very soon.
  Wonders never cease.
  
  Why Kibaki is the main target of the ICC
  "Like" the Kumekucha page and get a free copy of a Kumekucha book of your choice.
  
  What Kumekucha is reading;
  How M-Pesa Disrupts Entire Economies Kumekucha

  
  

• Evidence That The G7 is Headed Nowhere

  Posted: March 6, 2012, 9:33 am by kumekucha

  Admittedly there are very few likeable things about the game called politics but one thing that I personally love about it is the fact that copy cats usually end up in terrible grief. This is in sharp contrast to the situation in business and commerce where copycats quite often benefit much more than the originators. The nature of politics is too dependent on the mood of the country and the unique situation as folks go to the polls for every election for the same old trick to work again and again.
  Unelectable compromise candidates?
  
  In the ill-fated 2007 general elections presidential candidate Raila Odinga’s strategy of identifying popular tribal chiefs from various parts of the country and bringing them all under the ODM umbrella worked like a charm. Of course it was helped by the fact that President Mwai Kibaki had succeeded in provoking animosity against his administration from the entire country. To make matters worse the president’s handlers chose to use a campaign strategy for the president’s re-election that was very tribal in nature and served only to alienate his administration even further.
  I have said this here many times and I will repeat it yet again. Kenyans did not vote for Raila Odinga in 2007 rather the vast majority cast their votes against Mwai Kibaki.
  Now fast forward to 2012 and William Ruto, Uhuru Kenyatta and Kalonzo Musyoka amongst others are pretty sure that the exact same approach will work this time round. Uhuru and Ruto are so blinded in their rage against Raila Odinga that they have failed to see that the Odinga campaign bus is headed in a slightly different direction this time round. Although his strategy still relies on having point men/women in different regions of the country, there is a lot of emphasis on talking directly to the electorate.
  If there was any doubt as to how sure some folks are that this G7 strategy will work then it was dispelled when Kalonzo Musyoka was shunned recently. His reaction was very telling. The watermelon VP went on his knees before President Kibaki who intervened on his behalf and ordered Uhuru and Ruto to accept the VP back into their fold.
  My big question is; what will happen when this strategy falls flat on its’ face?
  Indeed there is plenty of evidence on the ground that voters will totally ignore these tribal groupings that their leaders are so determined to classify them into for very selfish voting purposes. I have talked to numerous Kenyans in the so-called voting blocks most of whom are very sure that the days of voting according to instructions from the tribal chief are over. And if you doubt what I am saying just take the time to study the results of the referendum on the new constitution two years ago.
  Many of my readers here are also in touch with people on the ground and it will be interesting if they can share their observations in the comments below.
  But above all else, there will be a major problem when members of the G7 have to decide on a presidential candidate. Assuming that that candidate is William Ruto, you can be sure that the Kikuyu vote will vanish. Assuming that it is Uhuru Kenyatta, the Kalenjin vote will also evaporate into thin air whether Ruto remains in the G7 or not. The ideal solution would be to choose a compromise candidate. Somebody like Kalonzo Musyoka. However the problem with that is that Musyoka is unelectable and so are all the other possible compromise candidates in G7 at the moment. My take is that the G7 is a very noisy and crowded train headed for a place called Nowhere.
  
  See also; 
  
  Why Does Jimmy Kibaki want Eugene Wamalwa to be the next president?
  
  What John Kerry has in Common with Kalonzo Musyoka 
  
  Will Mwalimu Mati still stand for president? Kumekucha

  
  

• Evidence That The G7 is Headed Nowhere

  Posted: March 6, 2012, 9:33 am by kumekucha

  Admittedly there are very few likeable things about the game called politics but one thing that I personally love about it is the fact that copy cats usually end up in terrible grief. This is in sharp contrast to the situation in business and commerce where copycats quite often benefit much more than the originators. The nature of politics is too dependent on the mood of the country and the unique situation as folks go to the polls for every election for the same old trick to work again and again.
  Unelectable compromise candidates?
  
  In the ill-fated 2007 general elections presidential candidate Raila Odinga’s strategy of identifying popular tribal chiefs from various parts of the country and bringing them all under the ODM umbrella worked like a charm. Of course it was helped by the fact that President Mwai Kibaki had succeeded in provoking animosity against his administration from the entire country. To make matters worse the president’s handlers chose to use a campaign strategy for the president’s re-election that was very tribal in nature and served only to alienate his administration even further.
  I have said this here many times and I will repeat it yet again. Kenyans did not vote for Raila Odinga in 2007 rather the vast majority cast their votes against Mwai Kibaki.
  Now fast forward to 2012 and William Ruto, Uhuru Kenyatta and Kalonzo Musyoka amongst others are pretty sure that the exact same approach will work this time round. Uhuru and Ruto are so blinded in their rage against Raila Odinga that they have failed to see that the Odinga campaign bus is headed in a slightly different direction this time round. Although his strategy still relies on having point men/women in different regions of the country, there is a lot of emphasis on talking directly to the electorate.
  If there was any doubt as to how sure some folks are that this G7 strategy will work then it was dispelled when Kalonzo Musyoka was shunned recently. His reaction was very telling. The watermelon VP went on his knees before President Kibaki who intervened on his behalf and ordered Uhuru and Ruto to accept the VP back into their fold.
  My big question is; what will happen when this strategy falls flat on its’ face?
  Indeed there is plenty of evidence on the ground that voters will totally ignore these tribal groupings that their leaders are so determined to classify them into for very selfish voting purposes. I have talked to numerous Kenyans in the so-called voting blocks most of whom are very sure that the days of voting according to instructions from the tribal chief are over. And if you doubt what I am saying just take the time to study the results of the referendum on the new constitution two years ago.
  Many of my readers here are also in touch with people on the ground and it will be interesting if they can share their observations in the comments below.
  But above all else, there will be a major problem when members of the G7 have to decide on a presidential candidate. Assuming that that candidate is William Ruto, you can be sure that the Kikuyu vote will vanish. Assuming that it is Uhuru Kenyatta, the Kalenjin vote will also evaporate into thin air whether Ruto remains in the G7 or not. The ideal solution would be to choose a compromise candidate. Somebody like Kalonzo Musyoka. However the problem with that is that Musyoka is unelectable and so are all the other possible compromise candidates in G7 at the moment. My take is that the G7 is a very noisy and crowded train headed for a place called Nowhere.
  
  See also; 
  
  Why Does Jimmy Kibaki want Eugene Wamalwa to be the next president?
  
  What John Kerry has in Common with Kalonzo Musyoka 
  
  Will Mwalimu Mati still stand for president? Kumekucha

  
  

• Kumekucha Weekend Special: What If The Bridesmaids And Maid of Honour Turned Up Like This For Your Wedding?

  Posted: February 26, 2012, 4:45 am by kumekucha

  No you have not arrived at the wrong blog. This is indeed the one and only Kumekucha. Just decided to take the weekend off from hard ball politics to try and discover what other Kenyans are up to?
  Kenyans are indeed a creative lot and if you catch Citizen TVs' The Wedding Show you will know exactly what I mean. Although I find it rather odd that every man seems to propose when they are on one knee. (hizi ma-soaps zimezidi na influence on our people!!!!)
  But these lasses were more than just creative at a recent Nairobi wedding. "Daring" is what I call it. A female friend calls it "njungu ya bridegroom", whatever that means.
  I guess it is okay to be in denial but this is the new breed of Kenyans like them or hate them.
  Luke e-cop is NOT allowed to comment in this post... hehehehehehe
  
  See also:
  7 Unexpected  things that attract Kenyan men to a woman
  
  Story of woman who loved two men at the same time depicts Kenyan presidential politics
  
  Why Kamba women have a hell of a reputation in bedKumekucha

  
  

• Kumekucha Weekend Special: What If The Bridesmaids And Maid of Honour Turned Up Like This For Your Wedding?

  Posted: February 26, 2012, 4:45 am by kumekucha

  No you have not arrived at the wrong blog. This is indeed the one and only Kumekucha. Just decided to take the weekend off from hard ball politics to try and discover what other Kenyans are up to?
  Kenyans are indeed a creative lot and if you catch Citizen TVs' The Wedding Show you will know exactly what I mean. Although I find it rather odd that every man seems to propose when they are on one knee. (hizi ma-soaps zimezidi na influence on our people!!!!)
  But these lasses were more than just creative at a recent Nairobi wedding. "Daring" is what I call it. A female friend calls it "njungu ya bridegroom", whatever that means.
  I guess it is okay to be in denial but this is the new breed of Kenyans like them or hate them.
  Luke e-cop is NOT allowed to comment in this post... hehehehehehe
  
  See also:
  7 Unexpected  things that attract Kenyan men to a woman
  
  Story of woman who loved two men at the same time depicts Kenyan presidential politics
  
  Why Kamba women have a hell of a reputation in bedKumekucha

  
  

• Karume is Dead: Grim Reaper Strikes Again

  Posted: February 23, 2012, 1:52 am by kumekucha

  Former cabinet Minister Njenga Karume is dead.
  The billionaire businessman and close political associate to President Kibaki passed on in the early hours of this morning (at 2:40am) at Karen hospital Nairobi aged 83 from complications associated with prostrate cancer which he has been battling for some time now.A strange twist of fate has seen the country lose two very similar men who were both very close to president Kibaki in a space of only a few days. What is going on? What are the signs of the time telling us? What is the grim reaper up to?
  Local TV stations that have been filling the airwaves with Michuki eulogies appeared "confused" this morning. Abandon Michuki or pull out all programming to eulogize two old men that represented what went terribly wrong with Kenya.
  Past Kumekucha articles on Njenga Karume; What Njenga Karume left out of his biography
  Njenga Karume uses his ministerial position to finance his private business empire
  
  
  The late John Michuki (standing far left) in this 1952 photo of the Mangu High School 1st XI soccer team.Kumekucha

  
  

• Karume is Dead: Grim Reaper Strikes Again

  Posted: February 23, 2012, 1:52 am by kumekucha

  Former cabinet Minister Njenga Karume is dead.
  The billionaire businessman and close political associate to President Kibaki passed on in the early hours of this morning (at 2:40am) at Karen hospital Nairobi aged 83 from complications associated with prostrate cancer which he has been battling for some time now.A strange twist of fate has seen the country lose two very similar men who were both very close to president Kibaki in a space of only a few days. What is going on? What are the signs of the time telling us? What is the grim reaper up to?
  Local TV stations that have been filling the airwaves with Michuki eulogies appeared "confused" this morning. Abandon Michuki or pull out all programming to eulogize two old men that represented what went terribly wrong with Kenya.
  Past Kumekucha articles on Njenga Karume; What Njenga Karume left out of his biography
  Njenga Karume uses his ministerial position to finance his private business empire
  
  
  The late John Michuki (standing far left) in this 1952 photo of the Mangu High School 1st XI soccer team.Kumekucha

  
  

• Artur Brothers to Petition Pope for Saint Michuki

  Posted: February 22, 2012, 5:48 am by kumekucha

  The ethnic entrepreneur is dead
  
  "If you want to rattle a snake you must be prepared to be bitten by it..."
  "Anybody who loves the Kikuyus must follow Uhuru Kenyatta."
  -John Michuki-
  Why do people suddenly become saints when they die? Why is it that suddenly they become close friends of everybody and appear to have had no enemies?
  In my view the best way to honour the dead is to tell the truth. Highlight the bad about them even as you point out the good so that those of us who are left behind can learn something from the dead man's life. When you insist on telling lies and sanitizing their lives for burial, we learn very little or nothing.
  Facts:Negative* Like most of the richest Kenyans he made his money using public office, most notably as executive chairman of KCB.* He said in front of witnesses that Kenya would only get a Luo president over his dead body.* He was one of the key figures who participated in the ghastly Standard newspapers raid. (Read this amazing inside story).* Ordered the police to shoot to kill and was involved in the killing (cold blooded murder) of many many suspected Mungiki members.*  He ordered several hits as de facto minister in charge of internal security.
  Facts:Positive*Michuki rules tamed Matatus and brought them into the tax system for the very first time. His rules saved many precious Kenyan lives. When he was replaced by another minister the industry slid back to chaos.* He always spoke his mind. e.g. he made it clear that he disliked "Jaruos."* He loved his country... as long as a Kikuyu was at the helm.* He played a major role in cleaning up the Nairobi River.
  I feel it in my bones that this post is akin to playing a guitar for a herd of goats because nobody will change Kenyans. They will never speak evil about the dead. NEVER!! If Hitler had died in Kenya he would be a hero today. Very odd but it probably stems from our ancestors who believed that dead people become gods and have power over us and can intervene on our behalf up there. What rubbish!!!!Kumekucha

  
  

• Artur Brothers to Petition Pope for Saint Michuki

  Posted: February 22, 2012, 5:48 am by kumekucha

  The ethnic entrepreneur is dead
  
  "If you want to rattle a snake you must be prepared to be bitten by it..."
  "Anybody who loves the Kikuyus must follow Uhuru Kenyatta."
  -John Michuki-
  Why do people suddenly become saints when they die? Why is it that suddenly they become close friends of everybody and appear to have had no enemies?
  In my view the best way to honour the dead is to tell the truth. Highlight the bad about them even as you point out the good so that those of us who are left behind can learn something from the dead man's life. When you insist on telling lies and sanitizing their lives for burial, we learn very little or nothing.
  Facts:Negative* Like most of the richest Kenyans he made his money using public office, most notably as executive chairman of KCB.* He said in front of witnesses that Kenya would only get a Luo president over his dead body.* He was one of the key figures who participated in the ghastly Standard newspapers raid. (Read this amazing inside story).* Ordered the police to shoot to kill and was involved in the killing (cold blooded murder) of many many suspected Mungiki members.*  He ordered several hits as de facto minister in charge of internal security.
  Facts:Positive*Michuki rules tamed Matatus and brought them into the tax system for the very first time. His rules saved many precious Kenyan lives. When he was replaced by another minister the industry slid back to chaos.* He always spoke his mind. e.g. he made it clear that he disliked "Jaruos."* He loved his country... as long as a Kikuyu was at the helm.* He played a major role in cleaning up the Nairobi River.
  I feel it in my bones that this post is akin to playing a guitar for a herd of goats because nobody will change Kenyans. They will never speak evil about the dead. NEVER!! If Hitler had died in Kenya he would be a hero today. Very odd but it probably stems from our ancestors who believed that dead people become gods and have power over us and can intervene on our behalf up there. What rubbish!!!!Kumekucha

  
  

• John Michuki Finally Rattled by His Maker

  Posted: February 21, 2012, 3:53 pm by kumekucha

  Environment minister John "Luo president over my dead body" Michuki is dead.
  State House Nairobi has confirmed his demise at Aga Khan Hospital Nairobi a few hours ago.
  Michuki will be best remembered for the famous Michuki rules which brought some semblance of order to the local Matatu industry if only briefly. Environmentalists will also remember him as the minister most responsible for the cleaning up of the Nairobi river a task many believed was impossible at one time.Unknown to most Kenyans (but not readers of my raw notes) Michuki has remained the de-facto minister of internal security for a long time and has handled many highly sensitive and classified chores for the Kibaki regime and many viewed him as a key witness to what really happened in the State house shortly before and after all hell broke loose resulting in the blood letting in 2008.
  
  Most controversial past articles on John Michuki published in Kumekucha;
  How Kibaki and Michuki planned and executed the Standard raid at State House (Kumekucha Exclusive)
  
  Michuki's lethal shots wraps Kibaki in fraud
  
  Dark faces behind secret No campaign by Yes camp
  
  
  More about John Michuki's death Kumekucha

  
  

• John Michuki Finally Rattled by His Maker

  Posted: February 21, 2012, 3:53 pm by kumekucha

  Environment minister John "Luo president over my dead body" Michuki is dead.
  State House Nairobi has confirmed his demise at Aga Khan Hospital Nairobi a few hours ago.
  Michuki will be best remembered for the famous Michuki rules which brought some semblance of order to the local Matatu industry if only briefly. Environmentalists will also remember him as the minister most responsible for the cleaning up of the Nairobi river a task many believed was impossible at one time.Unknown to most Kenyans (but not readers of my raw notes) Michuki has remained the de-facto minister of internal security for a long time and has handled many highly sensitive and classified chores for the Kibaki regime and many viewed him as a key witness to what really happened in the State house shortly before and after all hell broke loose resulting in the blood letting in 2008.
  
  Most controversial past articles on John Michuki published in Kumekucha;
  How Kibaki and Michuki planned and executed the Standard raid at State House (Kumekucha Exclusive)
  
  Michuki's lethal shots wraps Kibaki in fraud
  
  Dark faces behind secret No campaign by Yes camp
  
  
  More about John Michuki's death Kumekucha

  
  

• Kumekucha Predictions on Kalonzo, Mudavadi

  Posted: February 20, 2012, 9:22 am by kumekucha

  Faithful Kumekuchans will know that I hate to blow my own trumpet. People always write to me to tell me how accurate my predictions of Kenyan politics is.
  Today I want to point you good people to a post I wrote in August 6th 2010 titled; Goodbye Kalonzo Musyoka. I myself was amazed at how spot on it is, almost like it was written today.
  Kindly read it and lets get our political discussion in the right direction. In my view it is a waste of time discussing kalonzo Musyoka because his political career is over. He was never a politician anyway.
  Read the post HERE Kumekucha

  
  

• Tough Women Who Beat Up Kenyan Presidents

  Posted: February 14, 2012, 2:57 pm by kumekucha

  As we sat down gulping our beers and discussing politics at the popular local, time as always was flying at high speed. This happened years ago. It was a week day and I remember telling my friend several times that we should start heading home. No need to upset our wives I told him. Glancing at my watch in shock just then I realized that it was already 2am.That last statement had quite an effect on my friend more than what time it was. He demanded to know who the boss was in my house and I tried to explain to him that being a boss came with responsibilities. He reassured me loudly that if I was scared of my wife he would take me home personally and do the explaining on my behalf. He proceeded to order two more rounds since that issue was now settled.
  Our local wasn’t too far from where we lived and in those days Kenya was much safer than it is today and so we staggered home and reached his gate a handful of minutes to 4 am. He suggested that I give him a few minutes to pop in and then he would escort me home as promised. I agreed confident that since he was known to my wife there would be no problem. Immediately he started knocking on his front door I knew something was terribly wrong. The knock was so timid that you could hardly hear it in the quite of the night. I assumed that his wife was asleep and she was never going to hear it. I was just about to move forward to give the door a proper knock when the door swung open violently.
  “Hello mama Shiro.” I piped confidently expecting to see the usual warm smile. Instead there was a cold stare and she pointed her finger at me, “YOU!!!” was all she said before grabbing her husband by the collar hurling him inside the house and slamming her front door shut.
  Inside I could hear a scuffle and my friend’s meek voice pleading; “please mama Shiro.” The English promptly turned into Kikuyu (most of which I understand). She hurled abuses at him at him while doing something violent to him (I have never been sure what exactly).
  I walked away quickly to face my own wife’s wrath.
  I learnt an interesting lesson that day. And that is whatever you do, never believe what your friends tell you about their personal lives when you are drinking. In the bar all men are total men who rule their houses with an iron hand and where wives do everything as commanded. And as one man told us in the bar those days with a straight face, when he needs what a husband needs from the wife at night, all he has to do is clear his throat and his wife is ready to deliver. That sounded more like slave trade to me but most of all I have always suspected that it was pure fiction. Designed only to entertain drinking buddies.
  All these memories have come flooding back with the national debate that has been going on since last week about Kenyan men who regularly receive a serious beating from their wives. We are told that women from Central province lead in husband battering and especially a place called Nyeri.
  But what most Kenyans do not realize is that at least two out of the three Kenyan presidents we have had so far have had some very tough women for wives. The late Lena Moi caused such a serious fracas at State house Nakuru during a state function in the 1960s that Moi was forced to get rid of her from his life and although he supported her until her death shortly after he left office in 2002, the two never lived as husband and wife again. Observers hardly fault Lena who was said to be a very religious woman and blame it all on Moi who was having an affair with a Kikuyu police officer at the time. He did not realize that Lena had already heard the whispers and carelessly decided to have a dance with the said woman. Lena saw red and even efforts by President Jomo Kenyatta to cool things off by insisting on dancing with her had no effect whatsoever.
  Mwai Kibaki’s suffering for many years in the hands of Lucy Kibaki is well known. But what most people find unacceptable was the fact that Lucy was known to jeer and mock Kibaki’s many unsuccessful efforts to become president of the country but was quick to rush to his side at State House shortly after he was sworn in as president. The wife who had helped poor Emilio retain his sanity all those years, Mary Wambui (Kibaki’s second wife) was shoved to the sidelines and to make matters worse was denied together with her children on national TV during prime time viewing.
  Tough no nonsense women have been with us in Kenya for a long time and there is really no reason why the press should make such a big fuss about them now, as if they have suddenly sprung up from nowhere.
  Indeed the point that everybody seems to be missing is the fact that most Kenyan men find tough women extremely attractive and very sexy. Almost irresistible. There is no feeling that comes anywhere close to that of conquering a tough man-beating woman and seeing her finally surrender to your charms. Those who have tamed wild horses will have an idea of what I am talking about here.Kumekucha

  
  

• How Democratic Is The Orange Democratic Movement?

  Posted: February 9, 2012, 7:30 am by kumekucha

  The consensus within the Orange Democratic Party is that Raila Odinga should not be opposed by anybody when he seeks the party’s ticket to vie for the presidency. The feeling is that this is a waste of time and resources because he is the most suitable candidate and there is really no other stronger candidate to represent the party. So why waste time and resources going through the motions of proving the obvious?"Weak-leaf" Musalia Mudavadi: The meek hen who has suddenly turned into a lion
  Folks this is the reason why I keep on saying in this blog that it is easier to teach old dogs new tricks than it is to expect to change our current political class. We just have to get rid of the current crop of leaders (including our beloved Raila Odinga) and go for a fresh start with a brand new crop of leaders (for better or for worse) if we are going to have a fighting chance of saving our country.
  This is exactly the kind of “democracy” that Mzee Jomo Kenyatta fostered in KANU in the early days and just look at what happened? This unique Kenyan “democracy” caused the kind of problems in our country that are not likely to be solved in our generation, indeed they will probably need another two or three generations of bado mapabano to deal with them.
  Raila Odinga himself has been forced to state the obvious and announce that Mudavadi has every right to oppose him for the party ticket. But sadly this does not change the fact that the “real owners of ODM” will hear nothing of it. Their kind of democracy says that those who are worshipped are exempt from the rules that everybody else follows. Kenyan voters now have a right to ask a simple question;
  If they are behaving like this before their man gets to State house and starts to yield real power, how will they behave when they are drunk with whatever people inhale in the corridors of power?
  Chances are that a blog like Kumekucha may be quickly shut down and told that we have no right to make any negative comments about his most Excellency the PORK.
  Having said that it is also true that the behavior of Musalia Mudavadi is not consistent with his character and the politician we have known all along who avoids confrontation at all costs. Some people here in Kumekucha are fond of calling him Weak leaf (instead of Wickliffe which is his Christian name). This is to emphasize the fact that this is a politician who has never been his own man.
  Admittedly you really cannot blame the ODM “democrats” for suspecting that Mudavadi is not acting alone in his quest for the ODM presidential ticket. For starters the man is very close to retired President Daniel arap Moi and there are those who suspect that Moi could be behind a bid to weaken the party from within. Even if it is not Moi who is involved ODM has numerous other enemies who litter the landscape just waiting for a chance to sink in their daggers into the heart of the party.
  It is also true that there is no way that a closely fought race for the presidency within ODM between Raila and Mudavadi will affect party unity big time, going into the election. Chances are that if and when Mudavadi loses to Raila, the Luhya vote will fly out of the window never to return, Fred Gumo or no Fred Gumo.
  Knowing Kenyan politics these are fears that are justified.
  Still the rules of true democracy have no exception. Not even when a hen suddenly turns into a lion.Kumekucha

  
  

• Are We Obsessed With Imperialism?

  Posted: February 7, 2012, 1:49 pm by kumekucha

  By  Mwarang'ethe
  Tragedy of human history is this. The world’s harvest is abundant enough to satisfy the needs of humanity. However, for want of wisdom, its reaping is regulated by the laws of battle.
  In response to our last essay, Ocampo 4: A Flawed Defence Strategy, available here: http://is.gd/aAs8FE, a regular commentator at Kumekucha Mr Philip, wrote this:
  “We have the imperialist, then we have our leaders who are equally as evil as them, with the same mission. There is a possibility that when all these imperialists are exterminated then our leaders will easily move from their front seats to the throne. I feel that's the connection you have TERRIBLY FAILED to fathom. Because in your case all our problems are caused by imperialists, so that when they cease to exist, then our problems will also end.”
  Essentially, this is the same question Mr Taabu and other anonymous commentators keep on asking. However, we have refused to dignify his/their questions for at least two reasons.First, Mr Taabu and his friends, assume they know not knowing they do not know. For instance, with an air of an intellectual and finality, he tells us that, Kenya has not been able to build a single inch of railway. That is a fact. He then, tells us how South Africa is ahead because there are white people there. That is also, a conceded fact. However, if Mr Taabu was a man of learning as he fools himself to be, he would be able to differentiate between (a) facts, and (b) science. He seems utterly ignorant that, FACTS/KNOWLEDGE are only materials of science and not science itself. Thus, accumulation of bar talk/peasant facts is useless if the MEANING or the UNDERSTANDING of these facts is absent which should be the sole interest of men of learning. The fact that, he/they just mentions these facts and leaves them there tells us he/they confuse them to be science.
  Secondly, we find his/their aversion to human experience in political and civil liberties as well as political economy akin to the barbarism of the Roman general who shouted at the Athenian general and a philosopher in peace negotiations to try and save Athens that, he had gone to Athens to punish the rebels and not study history. With that barbaric statement, he went ahead to destroy the ancient Athens.  In other words, many are deceived as to the GREATEST OFFICE of a well ordered society. It is not the office of the mere lawyer, the president, the minister, the general or the mere economist. It is The Sacred Office of the Historian. Anyway, with such men, you just leave them alone. Back to Philip’s query.
  To answer Philip’s question, we first descend into the human laboratory, i.e. history. To the wisest of the Roman era, the corruption of the Roman government appeared so utterly incurable. As such, it was supposed to indicate the approaching dissolution of the globe. Actually, to some extent, the inability of the ancient people to reform their corrupt government, made many turn to Christianity which offered hope in a crumbling civilization.
  The question we must first ask is this. Why were the ancient civilizations unable to solve the problem of corruption? Simple.Then, as is today, it was the pressing evils of the MOMENT that drew their attention and called for redress. As a result, there lacked a tranquil diagnosis and a patient endeavour to remove the deep seated causes. Thus, in all ages, it is the strain felt by the individual that furnishes the motive power for any attempted reforms and the individual cannot wait. As a result, the therapeutic measures are inevitably crude and however well meant or even well designed cannot do. So, is the ICC “solution” to the African mess.
  So as to discover the disease which killed the ancient civilizations and hence be the seers of their generations, historians have done a thorough post mortem of that dead society. Their discovery is this. The degradation of the humanity of that age did not come about because of an inherent principle of decay proceeding from the inevitable state of exhaustion in the condition of a highly civilised society. Nor was not because of a moral deficiency that produced incurable corruption and thereby, rendered good governance impracticable.
  In truth, the evils of that society were produced by the injustice and oppression of the Roman government. So, why couldn't’ they reform it? Simple. The Roman government was too powerful to enable the people to force it to reform its conduct. Given the fiscal rapacity of the Roman government which fettered the people’s industry and the oligarchical constitution of the curia, the PUBLIC OPINION became powerless. Thus, the destruction of the upper and the middle class made it impossible to regenerate the Roman State. In other words, the greatest imperfection of the government arose from the total want of any popular control over the moral conduct of the public servants. This is so because, political morality cannot live without the atmosphere of public opinion. As such, the fiscal system was the PRINCIPAL CAUSE of its decay. Check around the world today, and the same disease is rampant.
  And, for comparative purposes, nothing offers more instructive lessons to humanity than the wealth and power of the Cherson city which was protected from fiscal rapacity of the Roman government. As a result of this, its commerce, freedom flourished under the institutions which protected property rights even as the whole Roman Empire fell into pieces. Now, if you follow the history of Europe after the death of the Roman Empire, you will discover that, the revival of civilization in Europe was only possible when the people had acquired power sufficient to enforce some respect for their feelings and rights.
  In other words, the real problem in African is lack of an economic set up that can allow the emergence of a real middle class which can exercise the moral restraint on the African governments. As a result of this weakness, we have seen NGO’s, donors and the like of the ICC becoming the “defenders” of the Africans who are now treated like infants who need guardians to defend them from their own governments. Since these foreign bodies are the ones which give African leaders money, they listen to them and treat their citizens with contempt.
  Therefore, if the West was serious, it would demand fiscal reforms which would create the necessary environment for the growth of the middle class for without it, the African governments shall never respond to the citizen needs. It follows then, that, any fiscal measure which deepens poverty and helplessness in Africa should be avoided at all costs. The question is, what does the West do? It does exactly the opposite and thereby, create conditions for more violence, corruption and impunity. Having forced the African governments to create such conditions, the West comes much later and proclaims itself the protector of the helpless poor Africans. They shamelessly mock the victims of their own rapacity and fraud! In other words, the West in its hubris like that of the ancient free men is accusing Africans of moral deficiency/degeneracy whereas, historians have proven that is not the real cause.
  Before we show how the West is playing with the African minds, we descend again to the Eastern Empire of the Roman Empire. Under the reforms of Constantine, we add, just like the recent Kenyan reforms, he required additional revenues. As a result, he instituted two taxes termed Senatorial and Chrysargyron taxes. The first alienated the aristocracy because, the Senators had been exempted from tax before. Does that remind of something? The Chrysargyron taxes were a tax on PROFITS which was levied in the severest manner on EVERY species of receipt. Today, if you tell a man/woman that taxation of profits is robbery, they will wonder. Needless to say, contrary to the expectation of Constantine, these additional taxes fettered industry which led to decline in trade due to decreased consumption, poverty and insecurity which continued to lower the scale of civilization as society frames started fraying.
  When Emperor Anastasius took over, being more enlightened than Constantine, he did what is a very rare virtue of a sovereign. He voluntarily reduced the revenues of the State by abolishing the lucrative, but, very oppressive taxation on profits which affected every industry and every one. The effect of this measure was INCREASED PROSPERITY which like an energy drink, reinvigorated the body politic of the Roman Empire. Despite him having relinquished State revenue to ensure the happiness of his people, the State revenue increased due to increased commerce and prosperity and left over £ 320, 000 pounds of gold in the public treasury.
  Now, let us look at what the West is doing in cahoot with its puppets in Africa. Sometimes back, when all mainstream newspapers, lawyers like Kilonzo, Ocampo’s and even all bloggers were silent, we raised a red flag about a demand of the IMF to the government of Kenya to raise the VAT when we read this: “IMF calls for VAT reforms to increase collection.” Among other stuff, we read this:
  “A widening and simplification of the Value Added Tax(VAT) bracket could increase Kenya Revenue Authority (KRA)’s revenue collection by an estimated Sh40 billion. This disclosure was made on Thursday by Mr Ragnar Gudmundsson, a resident representative of the International Monetary Fund (IMF), at a Nairobi Hotel. He was briefing the media on the forthcoming conference on Revenue Mobilisation in Sub-Sahara Africa...” Available at http://is.gd/0yFPYS. When we raised this issue. As usual, we were accused of crying imperialism all the time. That was then. Now, we are reading this: “New VAT Bill threatens to increase cost of living.” Among other stuff, we are now reading that,
  “The price of a number of essential commodities such as milk, maize and wheat flour is expected to go up, with the Bill proposing that processed agricultural commodities be struck off the list of VAT exempt items. ..Other items removed from the tax-exempt list include animal feeds, agrochemicals, newspapers, sanitary pads [DOES ANYONE REMEMBER WHAT RAILA SAID ON SANITARY PADS?] and cooking gas – all deemed essential. This means that prices of manufactured goods will go up by anything from16 per cent – which is the standard VAT rate – should the proposed bill become law in the current condition, as manufacturers of commodities increase costs to recover money paid to the taxman.” Source: http://is.gd/6cJRjJ
  Basically, anyone schooled in real economics, i.e. anyone not mentally derailed by the IVY LEAGUE of FOOLS in pseudo - economics,  knows this. Men produce wealth for consumption. Therefore, when you curtail consumption, you curtail production. When you curtail wealth production, you create unemployment and attendant social problems. We can assure the reader that, the social effect of these VAT increases so as to pay Western debts, which are created by attacking our currency by the same West, SHALL create more social problems than the 2007/8 PEV violence. However, such stuff, the imperialists do not broadcast in their loud mainstream media. This leaves a lone blogger to bear the burden of raising such issues under epithets of ignorant mobs.  
  The question we ask is this. If the Westerners are interested in the well being of the Africans as they claim, why is it that, in cahoot with their USELESS puppets like Kibaki and Raila, they are creating poverty and helplessness which makes it impossible for Africans to hold their governments into account? Also, why are the mainstream newspapers, lawyers, NGO’s, bloggers etc, so eloquently silent over such deliberate impoverishment of the African people by these Western schemes? It is only when the West comes to pick up one of their puppets as a means of fooling gullible and suffering Africans, we see the mainstream media, so called lawyers, NGO’s and bloggers vomit all their praises on their white saviors. This being the case, it makes us wonder, is it so difficult to understand the logic of what we are laying bare?
  The ultimate question is this. Do the Western states controllers know that, they are creating poverty and wars in Africa? Yes. We know this because, we have done our research from their own recordings. During the World Bank and IMF hearings in 1945, bankers testified to the USA Congress to the facts that chaotic economic /economies, such as African economies, must as a matter of LOGIC produce CIVIL WARS and TOTALITARIANISM. So, the Western imperial planners know exactly what they are doing. But, why are they doing this?
  Once again, during the same World Bank and IMF formation, it was stated in very unambiguous words that:
  "Nothing is MORE MENACING to WORLD SECURITY, than to have the LESS DEVELOPED COUNTRIES, comprising MORE THAN HALF OF THE POPULATION of the world, RANGED in ECONOMIC BATTLE against the LESS POPULOUS but INDUSTRIALLY more advanced nations of the West." So, TESTIFIED the USA Secretary of TREASURY, Henry Morgenthau at the SENATE in its 1945 hearings on the WORLD BANK.
  The question is, how does undeveloped Africa contribute to whatever they call WORLD SECURITY? Again, it is simple. Today, just as example, Africa exports about 20 million barrels of oil per day. Now, if African living standards were to improve just by 20%, all this oil would be consumed internally. As a result, there would be shortage of 20 million barrels per day. With such shortage, the oil prices would be more than $ 500 per barrel. Does ANY IDIOT think the BMW of Germany, Toyota of Japan, the Daewoo of Korea, the GM of America and the millions of jobs they provide in the West would survive under such prices? No and no.
  This being the case, the Africans must be kept in a state of confusion and stupidity with cosmetic reforms which means that, although their population is increasing, which is producing social tensions in absence of economic expansion, they must not be in a position to consume their raw materials. Increasing the VAT is one of the methods used. This leaves these resources CHEAP and AVAILABLE to the WORLD as they call it. To blind Africans from this brutalization and dehumanisation, they subject them to massive dosage of IDEOLOGICAL BOMBING which STUPEFIES them to run away from the TRUTH as they chase ILLUSIONS, DELUSIONS and CHILDISH FANTASIES created for them.
  Finally, we ask:
  (a) When a MERE lawyer like Ocampo speaks, every Kenyan listens. (b) Why is it that, when an African who is a lawyer like Ocampo, but, also, learned, not listened to? (c) Does it have to do with self hatred?Kumekucha

  
  

• General "Fear" Takes Kenya To The Brink Yet Again

  Posted: February 6, 2012, 8:43 am by kumekucha

  I love watching 24, the series from Fox TV.
  Those who have watched it know that it is much more than just a cops and terrorists action thing. Indeed in my book the script writers predicted correctly that America would get a black president sooner rather than later and their prediction about America’s first woman president (Hillary Rodham) will come to pass very soon. On the other hand students of movie-making will quickly recognize the fact that the script writers and directors pay very close attention to characterization and that is part of the reason why watching 24 is not good for heart patients (there is way too much suspense).
  Indecisive Presidents Can Cause Serious Trouble.
  But let me stick to the politics portrayed in 24 and its’ relevance to Kenyan politics at the moment. I recently started watching earlier seasons in sequence and at the moment I am enjoying Season 4. In the particular episode I have just watched. Terrorists bring down Airforce one and the president of the United States is critically wounded necessitating his Vice president, Charles Logan (Gregory Itzin plays the role brilliantly) to be hurriedly sworn into office, in the middle of a crisis.
  President Logan’s first act as president is to retire to the bunker (which is about 200 metres underground below the White House) for his own safety. And even while there he is still very much concerned about his personal safety “The terrorists will come after me next,” he screams at his chief of staff at one point.
  But even worse is what happens next when quick critical decisions need to be made. Students of management will tell you that a quick decision that may turn out to be wrong is much better than no decision at all.
  President Logan reminds me a lot of President Kibaki (remember the nickname his own constituents gave him years ago, General Kugoya-excuse my Kikuyu spelling) which means General Fear.
  Kenyans forget very quickly but historians will note that it was President Mwai Kibaki’s indecisiveness that got us to the brink in January 2008. Older Kumekuchans will remember the timeline of events I gave that led to the troubles that almost shut down the country.
  Now at the sunset of his presidency, Kibaki true to his character is leading the country into another serious crisis. Two ICC suspects have been traversing the country with a tribal message very similar to the tribal messages the Kibaki campaign team was promoting in the last presidential elections. The gist of that message is best portrayed in what John Michuki said in front of witnesses in late 2007 and I quote; “A Jaruo president of this country? Over my dead body.”
  Supporters of these two mass murder suspects have already declared severally during their rallies which they conveniently call “Prayer meetings” that “NO RUTO AND UHURU, NO ELECTIONS.”
  Why is the president hesitant to stop Uhuru and Ruto? After all he is not standing for a third term (or is he?). Could it have something to do with the ICC being after him? What is really going on?
  And to make matters worse the government seems to have sanctioned the hate rallies because the Vice president of the republic of Kenya is always at most of these rallies. Besides one of the suspects is still the deputy prime minister of the republic of Kenya.
  Mercifully, according to my information the ICC (which is much more decisive) may put a stop to this madness soon. But if they don’t, God help Kenya because the decision from State house will never be made.
  It is instructive how President Charles Logan’s presidency ends and I believe that Kibaki will end up in exactly the same way after he leaves office at the end of this year. Just watch 24 season 4 (towards the end. Start at episode 15 to get a true gist of what happens).
  Those naïve Kenyans who are very loud here in Kumekucha comments but have never really learnt about the realities of politics need to watch 24 again, this time round paying close attention to the politics.
  
  TI Reveals just a little of the real Ruto/Uhuru message during their "prayer meetings." Kumekucha

  
  

• Shocker: TI Reveals Hate Speech And Tribal Incitement At Uhuru/Ruto Meetings

  Posted: February 4, 2012, 6:40 am by kumekucha

  Brief Report on peace/prayer rally organized by Ruto/UhuruAt the 64 stadium, EldoretFriday 27th Jan 2012
  The Uhuru/Ruto political axis organized a peace/prayer a rally on Friday 27th Jan 2012 at the 64 stadium. The public rally was attended by over 45 legislators including the vice president, former MPs and a presidential aspirant Raphael Tuju and another ICC suspect Joshua Sang. The prayers took exactly 11 minutes and immediately the rally snowballed into a political rally with all the speakers making statements laced with hate speech and/or incitement.
  In what appeared to be a well rehearsed script, nearly all the speakers stated that should the two (Uhuru & Ruto) be barred from vying for presidency, then Kenya will not have elections. The speakers made inflammatory statements insinuating that their communities were on trial and they should unite to resist the work of the ICC which has been hoodwinked by the NGOs and the prime minister through the international community.
  Belgut MP Charles Keter kicked of the storm with a rallying call.“Just as we said in 2007 that ‘No Raila, No Peace’, we will say ‘No Uhuru and Ruto, No Elections.”
  Embakasi MP waititu said “lazima tufanye kila kitu kuzuia huyu mjaruo kuingia state house tuingie huko wenyewe ndio tuvuruge hii maneno ICC…”
  Gideon Mbuzi ‘SONKO’ “ Said “ hakuna vile tutakubali mtu wa jina linaanza na O asaidiwe na cousin yake huko America wa jina linaanza na O washikane na Ocampo kumaliza watu wetu….tutapambana nao”
  Isaac Ruto said “ we know the international community and the civil society have a preferred candidate but let them know we shall not allow them Uhuru and Ruto must be on the ballot.”
  Eldoret East MP Peris Simam said that “We will vote for them irrespective of where they will be. Let those NGOs stop going to court. I am stating that the government is here”
  Eldama Ravine MP Moses Lessonet added that “It is the people of Kenya who will decide on the leadership of Kenya, not the courts and NGOs”
  “We stand today by our people who are being mistreated but what we know is that by the end of the day, the truth shall come out” said Lucas Chepkitotony
  “We announce today that whether they like it or not, the leader of this country is with us today” added Mosop MP David Koech.
  “The trial of Jomo Kenyatta (Kenya’s 1st President) by the colonialist did not stop him from being President just as the incarceration of Nelson Mandela by the whites never stopped him from being an African leader. I tell you today, be of good courage,” Eugene Wamalwa remarked.
  The speakers heaped blame on the CSOs and the prime minister for the woes facing the ICC suspects. The Vice president insisted that he was not the one to benefit if the suspects are tried since he has fought to have the cases brought back to Kenya but his efforts were thwarted by known people in ODM and the CSOs. Ruto called on his supporters to ensure that Uhuru and him are not locked out of the presidential race. Ruto also spoke for about 7 minutes in his native Kalenjin Language rallying his ‘people’ to ensure that if they are locked out of the race then they should frustrate the holding of the elections by all means.
  Gideon Mbuvi, Ferdinand Waititu Kazungu Kambi and a youth leader from Nyanza made derogatory statements against the Luo community calling on other tribes to shun the community because its leader is conman and untrustworthy they went further to call anybody calling on Uhuru and Ruto not to vie for the presidency “mashetani”. They vowed to gang up to deny the premier from having a say on the management of the coalition government and promised to shield the president from attacks from the ODM wing of the government and vowed to resist calls for Uhuru to step aside as the deputy prime minister calling on the CSOs to stop their demands. They called on the president to disregard the National accord and rule the country as he deems fit since they are the majority and they will stand with him
  On the other hand there was clear breach of the elections act which prohibits use of state resources in partisan campaigns. The vice president was with his official motorcade. The Eldoret municipal Council Lorries were used transport municipal council chairs to the venue.
  Report byRichard MainaProgramme OfficerALAC Eldoret.Kumekucha

  
  

• “Raila Tosha” Kibaki Finally Utters The Two Magic Words In His Sleep

  Posted: February 3, 2012, 6:09 am by kumekucha

  My late father told me this story many times. He was there.
  President Mzee Jomo Kenyatta sat down to lunch in Kakamega shortly before he left for Kisumu on that fateful day in 1969 where his motorcade was stoned in that infamous incident. Those who were there could see that the president was preoccupied and appeared to be in a foul mood. This was confirmed shortly because he hardly touched his soup (which was only the first course). Five minutes later he got up and his motorcade was on the move headed for Kisumu in what was destined to be his last trip to the lakeside city. Clearly Kenyatta was very nervous about that last Kisumu trip.The late Jaramogi Oginga Odinga
  
  Yesterday President Mwai Kibaki made a historical visit to Kisumu. He received a very warm welcome but appeared to be uncomfortable throughout the proceedings. Predictably most of the politicians who were given an opportunity to speak keptreaching back to history to remind us all that this was no ordinary trip. And they wasted no time in putting the president under immense pressure. They took his mind again and again back to 2002 where Raila Odinga uttered those famous words that changed the course of Kenya’s history, actually just two words “Kibaki Tosha.” They politely told the president that now would be a good time to return that favour. They also wanted the president to rename the Kisumu International airport The Jaramogi Oginga Odinga International airport. The president in his usual style ignored both requests.
  History has an uncanny way of repeating itself like some stuck record. Two men (a son and his father) have twice decided the Kenyan presidency and both times they did it conscious of the fact that it would put them in pole position to take over the very same office from those they named.
  The late Jaramogi Oginga Odinga told a shocked Legco (Kenyan parliament in those days) that Jomo Kenyatta was like a god to the Kenyan people and there was no way Kenyans were going to consider independence without Kenyatta being freed. With all due respect to the memory of the older Odinga this was nothing but a selfish political move to block a kid on the block who was hurtling at break neck speed towards the presidency. One Thomas Joseph Mboya. Odinga knew that Tom Mboya usually won his elections to parliament with over 90 per cent of the people voting for him being from the Kikuyu community. If Mboya was seen as not being in support of Jomo Kenyatta, he would be wiped out politically.
  Historians will want to note that that was one of the very first seeds of tribalism in Kenyan politics ever planted, but that is a post for another day.
  What Kenyans still don’t know is that when Raila Odinga 50 years later did exactly what his dad did and said Kibaki Tosha, he was also blocking another man from ascending to the presidency and that man was Simeon Nyachae. Nyachae had made his plans carefully and had managed to position himself as a compromise candidate to take over the presidency of the country for an interim period of one term only t give the other biggies a little time to sort themselves out and come up with one candidate. Using his vast wealth and influence he had enough support to see his long standing ambition through. Raila scuttled Nyacahe’s plans with his famous two words in support of Kibaki. Admittedly Raila’s main motive for backing Kibaki was to ensure the defeat of President Moi and his KANU party.
  Now yesterday Mwai Kibaki predictably refused to return the favour that saw him ascend to the presidency. Now if history finishes off this repeat thing Raila will NOT ascend to the presidency. Instead somebody else will come from nowhere and shockingly become the fourth president. Maybe some folks will even call him a passing cloud, but of course he or she will be nothing of the sort.
  But enough with the history lessons which bore so many of my readers and lets get to hard ball politics.
  The reason why Kibaki’s refusal shocked some insiders is because the president has already made a pact with Raila Odinga. Kibaki will fully support his bid for the presidency and in return President Odinga will protect the Kibakis. And so what happens if President Odinga never happens? It means that Kibaki’s retirement will be extremely uncomfortable.
  However the question Kenyans should be asking themselves is are these Raila Toshas and Kibaki Toshas as effective are they used to be? I think NOT. The era of endorsements deciding the presidency is over why are the political class refusing to open their eyes to the new reality? The next election will be decided by the young people of Kenya and they are in a foul mood at the moment and terribly impatient measuring Kenya on the same scale as developed economies whose democracies are over 100 years old. They watch their news and admire the American system of governance and are continually asking themselves why not Kenya?
  Presidential candidate Odinga dyes his hair black regularly and there is no doubt that his handlers will want him to spot an even younger look as the presidential campaigns gather momentum. Will that be enough to win the presidency against an extremely crowded field? I think not. I believe that we are headed for a run off when we finally sit down to elect our next president. It will be Raila versus a much younger nobody and that kind of contest will not be good for the courageous but unlucky son of Jaramogi.
  I’m keeping my eyes firmly on boring history knowing fully well that the damned thing is going to repeat itself yet again
  Tutaona. (we shall see what happens)
  Kumekucha

  
  

• Ocampo 4: A Flawed Defense Strategy

  Posted: January 31, 2012, 5:23 am by kumekucha

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  by Mwarang'ethe
  Up to now, we have refrained from commenting too much on the on going ICC case of the Ocampo six who have been reduced to four.  We have done so because, we hold this Kangaroo Court in utter contempt for it is being used to throw dust into the eyes of the long suffering African people. First, we acknowledge that, serious crimes were committed in Kenya in 2007/8. Secondly, we also, acknowledge, the need for justice for the victims.
  
  Having conceded that, serious crimes were committed, and there is need for justice, we hold a very well considered opinion that, the best justice we can give to the victims of that senseless violence is to devote our attention to a careful reformation of the system which produce such senseless disorder in Africa. Regrettably, instead of devoting ourselves to this noble cause, we have cried for vengeance. The problem is that vengeance shall not remove the real causes of the rampant social disorder in Africa. This being the case, we risk being colonised by stealth in the name of justice.
  Those who are ignorant of African history may find the above assertion far fetched. However, all one has to remember is this. In 1526, Nzinga Mbemba of Kingdom of Kongo, a.k.a. Alfonso I wrote the following plea to the King of Portugal:
  “We cannot reckon how great the damage is, since the merchants daily seize our subjects, sons of the land and sons of our noblemen, vassals and relatives ... and cause them to be sold; and so great, Sir, is their corruption and licentiousness that our country is being utterly depopulated.”
  The question is, did the Portuguese help in any way? They not only encouraged slave trade, but, ended up colonising Africa. Does any believe this time is different? If so, how and why?
  Having noted the above, we would advise the Ocampo four to “pause” their frantic defence, change their defence strategy and take on Ocampo first. The problem we find with their defence is that, they have entrusted their fate to mainstream lawyers who will not challenge this body like Milosevic did until they killed him by refusing him medical attention. The truth is that, by taking his own defence, Milsoveic proved a serious challenge to the corrupt international justice system. For instance, his trial was supposed to be broadcast, but, since Milosevic was prepared, all this was dropped.
  Thus, we propose, in terms of military art, they need to switch to an offensive strategy and forget their passive defense which their lawyers are pursuing. In fact, we would argue that, their defensive strategy amounts to letting  a long and unbroken line of troops move for so long which must be avoided completely if one is to win any war. As a matter of fact, their strategy amounts to fortification in the age of aerial warfare. As such, they need to abandon their fortifications and launch the greatest weapon of offensive warfare i.e. a surprise and ferocious attack.
  This being the case, it is our considered view that, the best option at this moment is to mount a serious attack on the prosecutor and the ICC at large on account of partiality. As an example, they can argue that, the ICC prosecutor and the judges are in clear violation of Article 45 of the Rome Statute entitled: Solemn Undertaking which provides that:
  “Before taking up their respective duties under this Statute, the judges, the Prosecutor, the Deputy Prosecutors, the Registrar and the Deputy Registrar shall each make a solemn undertaking in open court to exercise his or he respective functions impartially and conscientiously.”
  The argument would be like this:
  (a) We do not fear to defend ourselves for the alleged crimes.
  (b) However, before we stand trial, it is just and proper that, be it ascertained whether we can receive fair trial at the ICC.
  Flowing from the above then, to the extent that, the ICC prosecutor and the judges, can be shown not to have not acted in accordance with Rome Statute and especially Article 45, they disqualify themselves from taking “up their respective duties” under the Statute against the four.
  We content ourselves at this stage by citing just one example that can be cited and argued forcefully to demonstrate the partiality of this Court and therefore, demonstrate it's utter incapacity to offer a fair trial. In the recent war of aggression against Libya, Ocampo moved very swiftly to indict Gaddafi on fabricated charges.
  However, at the same time, in clear evidence of the Court's partiality contrary to Article 45 of the Rome Statute, it did not, and has not acted on violations of international law by the NATO forces. To cite one plain example. The UN Charter, Chapter VII Article 46, provides that:
  Plans for the application of armed force shall be made by the Security Council with the assistance of the Military Staff Committee.
  To the best of our recollection, there was no Military Staff committee which was involved in the Libyan war. Clearly, this being irrefutable, this is a a clear violation of the international law of war for the NATO leaders, and many of them are party to the Rome Statute have committed serious crimes under the jurisdiction of the ICC. Why would Ocampo be in a rush to indict Gaddafi on fabricated charges while ignoring clear violations of the international law? If this is not partiality, what is it?
  It can be argued that, to the extent the ICC has not seen it fit to investigate such blatant violation of international laws of war, is a confirmation of breach of the Rome Statute Article 42 which provides that, the Office of the Prosecutor “shall not seek or act on instructions from any external source.” If he has not received or sought such instructions, where does his partiality emanate from? From incompetence? If it is incompetence, how can he try the Kenyan case then?
  As a matter of fact, the ICC prosecutor is on record saying that, he will ask the UN Security Council member states on the way forward for the Libyan case. How can those who have violated the international laws of war with impunity be the ones to give direction to the ICC prosecutor? What kind of justice is this?
  The ultimate question which the ICC judges would be forced to answer in this novel approach is this: If the ICC is receiving instructions contrary to Article 42 of the Rome Statute, how can its impartiality as demanded by Article 45 of the Rome Statute be met?
  By adopting this defence strategy instead of the usual one, the Ocampo four would force the ICC either:
  (a) to live up to the lofty claims and especially Article 45. Definitely, were it to do this, it would be killed by those who seek to use it as a means of colonialism.
  (b) to brush brush aside a well researched attack on its partiality which would lead to loss legitimacy which it has gained by propaganda.
  In other words, the Ocampo four should force the ICC to live up to its lofty claims or close shop and scatter those lawyers wasting time there to look for other means of earning their living.Kumekucha

  
  

• Kibaki Handlers In Sixes And Sevens

  Posted: January 25, 2012, 1:02 pm by kumekucha

  
  Presidents Mwai Kibaki And Omar Al Bashir. If this was a page in Facebook the caption would most likely read; Omar Al Bashir Likes this.
  Vengeance is mine, says the Lord.
  Any close observer of the politics of the land since January 2008 would be excused for being very angry and wondering what the heck was wrong with Kenyans. Their anger would stem from the great injustice in the land.---------------------------------------See also; Mama Ngina orders Uhuru to resign
  How people are launching lucrative part-time businesses even as they remain in employment---------------------------------------As you read this, victims of the 2008 post election violence are still in camps, refugees in their own country. And yet over the last few months several individuals have proudly announced their intention to contest for the presidency in the general elections which had been scheduled for this year. The most prominent in the race for the presidency are individuals who were involved in one way or another with the election troubles of 2008. These are Raila Odinga (widely believed to be the winner of those elections but who was denied when the incumbent used state machinery at his disposal to quickly get himself sworn in), William Ruto and Uhuru Kenyatta.
  What would you be feeling hearing these presidential ambitions in the media every day even as you cow in a corner of a torn tent somewhere in the republic that you call your home country?
  Indeed the Kenyan people have for all intents and purposes forgotten these poor IDPs some of whom were wealthy landowners and employers before tragedy struck and wiped out all their hard work and industry in one deadly swoop that left thousands dead (Kumekucha figures).
  There are many readers of these popular blog who do not fear God. Rather their intellectualism does not allow them to acknowledge the existence of the almighty. Some of them have often said that religion is the opium of the masses (obviously meaning the uneducated masses).
  However it would appear that a recent chain of events still rapidly unfolding in the country is divine intervention working out a terrible revenge against those most responsible for causing the deaths of so many innocent Kenyans in January 2008.
  Fascinatingly until the announcement by the ICC confirming the very serious charges against four Kenyans, most in the political class did not want to believe that the charges would never be confirmed. In fact two of the most prominent accused persons were busy plotting their elaborate presidential campaigns.
  The happenings after the events of yesterday afternoon have pushed the country into an extremely dangerous position. Already there is massive panic amongst several prominent camps all of which could easily cause trouble to muddy the waters. The Kenyatta family whose massive wealth can be traced back to serious corruption and unprecedented land grabbing during the Jomo Kenyatta presidency, is feeling the heat the most (read this Kumekucha exclusive) and chances are very high that Uhuru Kenyatta will be resigning from government within the next day or so.
  The William Ruto camp is not any better and using the same old abrasive Kanu tactics his advisors have crafted two political rallies for this Frdiday as a response, one in Eldoret and another in Thika. You do not need to be a rocket scientist to guess what the agenda of those pubic rallies will be. The objective will be to show that the duo (Uhuru and Ruto) have not been affected by the ICC ruling to go ahead with their trials.
  But all that is nothing compared to what will happen if the trial does proceed. The president’s aides are the ones who are most worried about this eventuality. And with good reason. If the confirmation hearings are anything to go by, we should expect the names of the two principals to come up lot in those hearings. And especially the president’s role in the January 2008 troubles. Already the media is awash with the State house meeting involving representatives of the Mungiki terror gang which the ICC judges believe took place based on the evidence that they have. State house Nairobi has once again strongly protested that any such meeting took place although the denial story has changed dramatically this time round when compared to the last official denial.
  Additionally if one was to care to take a closer look at what special prosecutor Luis Moreno Ocampo did in the Sudan cases, State house has a lot of reasons to be terribly worried. The strategy was to indict lesser government officials who after cross examination during the trial provided enough evidence and reason for the ICC to issue an arrest warrant for President Al Bashir. Kenya may not be Sudan but here is way too much evidence to suggest that that is exactly the direction we are headed to.
  It is naive for those expecting justice i Kenya to be excited about such an eventuality. To me it is way too dangerous and could easily plunge the country into the kind of chaos that will make 2008 look like it was a Christmas party.Kumekucha

  
  

• Plotting a Great Business Comeback While Keeping Your Day Job

  Posted: January 25, 2012, 10:54 am by kumekucha

  Kumekucha Exclusive: Mama Ngina Kenyatta Orders Uhuru To Resign
  
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  There are those entrepreneurs who in the course of their struggles to succeed in business end up being forced to go back to employment. Many times for these kind of people, their only hope of entering into business in the near future is by doing so on a part-time basis, at least to start with.
     
  And you really can’t blame them. Jobs are very difficult to come by these days and when one is lucky enough to land one, leaving it for the uncertainties of business becomes very difficult. The protests alone that one is bound to receive from a spouse and relatives for abandoning a job to take the risk would probably be enough to kill any entrepreneurial spirit before it has had any chance of getting started.
     
  Although great successes in business come to those who are ready to risk all and burn all their bridges so that there is no alternative for them other than success, there are also a lot of advantages in doing a part-time business.
  
  Maybe you are so busy in your full time job and are sure that there is no way you are going to be able to get the time to launch a part-time business or income generating project. Maybe you even work in shifts and are sometimes on night duty. You will be pleasantly surprised to discover that you too can launch a lucrative part-time venture.
     
  This proves that there is nobody who cannot go into business, if they are determined enough and thus plan carefully.
     
  And with the money pressures that employed people have these days; it makes a lot of sense to pursue some extra income on the side.
     
  There is yet another group of people who can benefit from a part-time business and that is people who are already in business. One can easily start a side business to supplement the income of their main business. Or if you are in a partnership with other
  people, it might make a lot of sense to have a side business where you are sole proprietor and can make all the decisions on your own. In fact there are cases where people have started many prosperous businesses in addition to their already thriving one simply by starting it off as a side business that prospers and grows into a full-time occupation.
  
  It has given me great pleasure researching and writing this book. Let me admit that even I was amazed at the vast untapped range of opportunities that are available for a part-timer today. As the book progressed, I got more and more excited and I trust that the same thing will happen to you as you read on.
     
  For those who have the experience, running a part-time enterprise is littered with many pitfalls and many have learned some very bitter lessons about the multitude of things that can go wrong. I know what I am talking about because personally I have also lost quite a bundle in part-time businesses I once tried that went wrong.
     
  To start with many have learned that you cannot leave somebody else to run your business for you. If they do not steal from you, then they will almost certainly be incapable of getting anything done. The only successful absentee-business-persons are those who have had many years experience or those who once ran the enterprises themselves and thus when they pass it on to another person, the systems are already in place for the continued smooth running of the business. It also becomes very easy to supervise your employee.
     
  The solution is to create the time to run the business yourself. Just like the Dutch reclaimed most of their land back from the sea, you too can do the same with time.
     
  It must be realized that there is plenty of time during the day that is normally wasted and can be put to good use running your part time operation. You can wake up earlier in the morning or you can stay up later in the evening. By simply doing this, most of us can comfortably gain as much as five extra hours for work daily without too much strain. You can even gain more time if you use both evenings and mornings.
     
  This has actually been done very successfully by people in the past. Let us look at the case of a few part-timers whose line of business was writing. This should interest you even if you are not a writer because the examples illustrate the fact that even tiny chunks of time, reclaimed can add up to the hours needed to achieve a really major
  project.
  
  The French chancellor D’Aguesseau noticed that his wife was habitually 10 minutes late coming down to dinner. He decided to make use of the 10 minutes ( 3,650 minutes a year or more than 60 hours) and wrote a 3 volume book which became a best seller
  when it was published in 1668.
     
  Anthony Trollope spent most of his life working as a postal clerk, but he would get up at 5:00 am each morning and write 3,000 words in the 3 hours before beginning with the mail. If Trollope finished writing a novel before it was time to go to work, he would simply start another one. He finished 50 books this way.
     
  Even more amazing was British crime writer Michael Gilbert who managed to craft 23 books during his daily 50 minutes commute to his ‘real job’ as a lawyer. You might be saying to yourself that you would never manage to do the same in a packed Matatu or bus, but you would be missing the point.
     
  Then during the day itself there is still more time to be reclaimed. Take the lunch break. This is normally one hour long and you will be surprised as to how much can be achieved if this time is planned for and used to the maximum.
     
  Only recently I came across this youngster who distributes magazines and books part-time while working on a very taxing full-time job elsewhere. One would wonder when he gets the time to distribute his wares to newspaper vendors and book shops. He actually
  manages to do it very effectively by using his one hour lunch break every day and then the evenings between 5 pm when he leaves his work-place and 6 pm when most vendors and bookshops close. He also works on Saturdays and usually manages to see a few newspaper vendors after he leaves work at 1 pm. So you can imagine the advantage most of us who do not work on Saturdays would have.
     
  Is this not too much hard work, many may ask? There is really no two ways about it. You just have to make the sacrifice. Too many people, still believe in something for nothing. It is not realistic to expect to achieve anything worthwhile without making some sacrifices and working hard for it.
    
  Unfortunately the work ethic seems to be very weak in Africa  and everybody wants to believe that they should prosper  without too much hard work. This is a myth that seems
  to be very deeply buried in the minds of our people.
     
  That should be very good news for any would-be-part-time entrepreneurs because it means that anybody who is willing to put in just a little hard work has a huge advantage over others.
     
  So hard work and good planning can create the time you need to devote to your enterprise to make it a success.
     
  Some people claim that the great disadvantage with a part-time business is the lack of inertia and focus. Because one has another job, they can only devote little small time
  frames to it which have to be broken regularly for them to go back to their employer. This creates a lack of inertia which a full time entrepreneur has.
     
  Actually on the contrary this can be looked upon as an advantage by some entrepreneurs because every time a part time entrepreneur turns to their business, they bring in a fresh look making it possible to have a high degree of creativity. And besides with discipline, one will quickly adjust and get used to the unique situation of “juggling two balls in the air at the same time.”
  
  Another disadvantage is that for many part-time enterprises, the scope for expansion appears to be very limited.
     
  In actual fact, this is not true for all businesses of this nature and many of them can be expanded simply by employing people on a full time basis.
     
  In fact rather than just concentrate on pitfalls, the part-timer has many valuable advantages that can go a long way in helping them to establish a business on a
  sound footing. The first being that he or she will most probably already be employed somewhere else and will be earning money on a regular basis, thus they can continue to capitalise the business and need not interfere with the cash till or even draw a salary for expenses until the business is established. Interestingly, it has been established that raiding one’s own cash till is one of the major reasons for the demise of many small businesses all over the world. This is when the business-owner thinks that what he or she has on hand at the end of the day are profits which they can play around with. Forgetting that salaries have not been paid and neither have other expenses for the month been settled. Thus anyone using money on hand from their business is actually using up the capital of their business and it is inevitable that this action will sooner or later ground the business.
     
  The tools you will need to make your part-time enterprise a success are the ideas and the correct thinking required for a part-time entrepreneur. There is plenty of that kind of information as well as inspiration and tips in our Facebook page. Just like it to get regular updates on your Facebook news feed.
  Kumekucha

  
  

• Why The Ocampo Four Must Prepare For The Ugliest Of Trials

  Posted: January 25, 2012, 6:00 am by kumekucha

  
  Things will move very fast, reliable source tells Kumekucha
  
  Snapshot: President Kibaki wrote a personal statement to the ICC court in defence of Muthaura. So indicting Muthaura is a loaded statement to Kibaki. And he is no fool.
  
  ----------------------
  Most of us missed the big story yesterday. It was the delay in Kenyans receiving the news of the verdict after everybody else in the world and the big speech by president Kibaki very shortly after that basically trying to throw cold water on the ICC verdict. What happened to our communication in Kenya yesterday afternoon? Was somebody trying to buy time?
  Create a caption for this photo and post it in the comments section below and you can win a hug from Kumekucha himself if you are a nice looking lass.
  It is instructive that Kumekucha was the first to break the story with the post being made from somewhere in Europe. Just do you research and get back to us about that delay will you?
  
  And to confirm that the daggers have truly been drawn the immediate response from the US (in response to Kibaki’s strange speech) was telling. The US urged Kenya to co-operate with the ICC. Read the story HERE
  
  Now why would the US say that? Cast your mind back to the president’s statement and the answer is there in black and white. Kibaki just stopped short of saying that he would not co-operate with the ICC because he did not recognize their ruling. Indeed he said that in different carefully selected words.
  
  I have said it here before several times that the real target of the ICC is President Mwai Kibaki and if anybody was waiting for a confirmation, it came yesterday. Granted, former police commissioner Ali is not in the Ocampo four, but the man who issued the orders in the first place, Francis Muthaura is. So where did Muthaura get his orders from?
  
  At this point it does not matter whether the four will be found guilty or not, Kenya has changed forever. Those famous words from ICC special prosecutor Ocampo have come back to haunt the guilty. He said he wanted to use Kenya as an example and true to his word the whole world is reeling with shock today that an actual sitting deputy Prime Minister of a country can stand trial at the ICC, it is unprecedented. It tells the whole world that we have crooks seated in the government in the banana republic called Kenya. And the president unknowingly confirmed that script by making the statement he did.
  
  I must say that it is laughable how some people can be stuck in a time frame and stubbornly refuse to move with the times. President Kibaki in his mind is still in the Kenyatta days when it was a very serious thing for the president to interrupt all programs to make an unscheduled address to the nation.
  
  
  During the Kenyatta presidency it happened only once when the country was falling apart after the assassination of Tom Mboya. During the Moi days it never happened. But during the Kibaki presidency it has happened so many times (the most memorable was the one where he disowned his second wife and his own children by her, just to please his first wife) that they are no longer of any significance. Personally I would pay more attention to the "Rambo" police spokesman issuing a statement because I have come to expect the president’s statements to be hot air speeches playing politics and pretending that he is addressing grave national issues. Who advices the guy anyway (they should all be sacked because they are a total waste to tax-payers funds). Although in mitigation there is a source who persistently tells me that the president is always ignoring the sound advice he receives and doing things his way because he has the “long experience” which some of the young men advising him do not.
  
  I am also reliably informed that things will move with speed from here on. If the appeals fail (which they will because legally an appeal at this stage is on very thin ice given that the accused persons have not even seen all the evidence against them. It will make more sense to go to trial and then appeal if there is a conviction) then the trail that will follow will be “brutal”. Brutal in the sense that Kenyans will hear things that will make their ears “ring” or is it buzz. Terrible terrible things that were done to fellow Kenyans as old man impunity raised his ugly head in all its’ ugliness.
  
  A Kumekuchan summarized the whole scenario perfectly. The ICC will single handedly and neatly solve all our political problems. That is what the old guard including Mzee Mwai Kibaki do not want to hear.
  
  But whether you want to hear it or not, that is the truth. Over the last couple of months old fat overweight (from 40 years of feeding very well) impunity has taken quite a beating but always remained on his feet. I have great pleasure in announcing to you that he received the knockout blow yesterday afternoon and is out for the count.
  
  Folks, I have to stop there, this is a post I will have to finish later (there is too much to be said and so I will take it easy so that we are all able to absorb it all, no?
  
  So you can look out for part 2 very soon where I will talk about the mysterious powerful figure behind the blinding speed of the proceedings at the Hague and why Ocampo would win any election in Kondele.Kumekucha

  
  

• Verdict on the Ocampo 6: Evidence the ICC Should Not Miss

  Posted: January 18, 2012, 3:53 am by kumekucha

  BREAKING NEWS: ICC Confirms charges against 4 of the 6
  
  We have been told that the Kenyan anti-riot police are on full alert in readiness for the announcement by the ICC on whether the Ocampo 6 will stand trial or not.
  
  Why?
  
  Why should anybody riot and cause chaos when some super rich (ill-gotten wealth) Kenyan individual is found to have a case to answer in a court of law that has to be more impartial than the Kenyan judicial system which has time and again declared that our corrupt leaders are actually clean "Kama pamba"?
  
  The answer should be obvious. Only a tribal war Lord can provoke that kind of reaction (or is it organize those kind of chaos). No?
  
  And that is exactly the kind of evidence that the ICC should be looking for to strengthen their case when they confirm the charges against the Ocampo 6 shortly.
  
  So let them bring it on. Let them go into the streets and cause chaos and give us a glimpse of exactly the kind of things they got up to in January 2008. ICC prosecutors please pay close attention.
  
  * *
  
  Folks are asking me to make a prediction on what the ICC verdict will be and I don't think it is fair for me to do so. But what I can say is that the evidence against two individuals (both presidential candidates) is so overwhelming that if they go scott free then all 6 should go free.Kumekucha

  
  

• What You Didn’t Know: Virginity Can Easily Be Restored

  Posted: January 15, 2012, 3:23 am by kumekucha

  Kumekucha Weekend Features
  For centuries a very important do-or-die part of a wedding was where the man would get a moment in private with his bride and penetrate her for the very first time. This would be done under supervision by elders and close to white sheets which would naturally be bloodied and then brought out and displayed before all the distinguished guests. Only then would the Champagne be brought out so to speak. No bloody sheets no wedding, it was as simple as that.
  
  Indeed this is still being practiced in many cultures the world over. But still, today most of the world has changed and virgins are an extremely endangered species, some would say they are almost extinct. Or so you may have thought.
  
  And you would be wrong in this assumption because the truth is that the number of virgins are currently growing at break neck speed courtesy of a simple surgical procedure that completely restores a woman’s virginity and thus destroys any evidence that any man has ever been there before. What is left of the hymen is stitched together and reconstructed in a simple procedure called hymenorraphy. In cases where the hymen is not enough, additional tissue from the vaginal wall is used to make a complete hymen and restore precious virginity to any lass who wants it back.
  
  Done properly, even another doctor examining the woman will be fooled and certify her a virgin medically.
  ---------------------------------------
  Read all about The meaning of they year 2012… and other interesting views on the next general elections from both experts and pretenders in the comments section of this post. Just scroll down to the end of the main post.
  ----------------------------------------
  Although this procedure is not considered a part of gynecology, it is making some shrewd surgeons a fortune literally overnight. More so in cultures where there can be no wedding without a hymen. It is also widely available in some plastic surgery centres in the West and especially in the United States.
  
  Some pretty amazing statistics are being touted by supporters of this crafty cheat-a-man-and-get-your-own-back procedure. It is said that it has been single-handedly responsible for reducing the number of women being murdered when a bride is found not to be a virgin, by a staggering 80 percent in Egypt alone over the last 10 years. Wow!!
  
  But even more fascinating is a deft touch added to the procedure. Apart from reconstructing the hymen, a gelatin capsule which contains a blood-like substance is added for effect. And so when the hymen is ruptured by the cheated man “blood” spurts out. Probably enough to soak a good white sheet and delight the wedding guests about to take in Nyama choma and bloody mutura. (what an appetizer the virgin blood on the sheets must be!).
  
  This fake but effective virginity costs between US $100 and $600. At least that is what women in Egypt are gladly paying. In Turkey getting your virginity back is estimated to cost between $140 and $1500 a pop.
  
  Now there are a host of issues that are raised by this procedure. Proponents point to the fact that there are many ways the hymen can be accidentally “punctured” even without sexual intercourse and this procedure has saved the lives of many innocent women who have never had sex but still end up dying on their wedding night any way. Critics point to the obvious fact that a lot of men will get cheated. But then many women will counter back that women get cheated all the time by men who never have to carry any visible and obvious signs that they are not virgins.
  
  I can already see the advertisements for this procedure which should be with us very soon;
  
  - Cause a man to worship you, get married virgin even if your immediate former profession was an escort girl.
  - Get the wedding night that was intended for you from the beginning of time.
  - Get your own back on men prove to him that you are a virgin while being careful not to cause him a heart attack.
  
  In neighboring Zanzibar it is common for young girls under intense pressure to have only anal sex with their boyfriends until their wedding night. The health repercussions of this kind of sexual activity, which includes passing stool without any control, are enormous. And so those who can afford a flight to Egypt and $100 will have another way of having their cake and eating it as well.
  
  Surely the end of the world is not too far off!!Kumekucha

  
  

• Court Rules 2013 Most Likely Election Year

  Posted: January 14, 2012, 4:00 am by kumekucha

  Updates
  
  The law may be an ass but how do the so-called constitutional court reconcile these three conflicting provisions of the new set of law if they are to avoid being seen as fenceseatters or partisan at worst :
  
  
  1) They went y Section 9 of the Sixth Schedule which states that the first elections for the President, National Assembly, Senate, County Assemblies and Governors shall be held within 60 days after the dissolution of Parliament at the end of its term (do we have we have Senate, County Assemblies or Governors presently?).
  
  2) They state that the Sixth Schedule is independent of the provisions of Article 101 which provides for elections in the second Tuesday of August hence the term of the National Assembly cannot be shorter that five years and that (new wine bottled in old wine skins?).
  
  3) As per Article 255 of the Constitution, an amendment to the Constitution affecting the term of the President cannot be effected into law without a referendum (Kibaki's term ends on 30 December, 2012 so elections in March 2013 leaves a vacuum?)
  
  
  I hope there is an IVY LEAGUE lawyer out there to please clarify!
  
  =========================================
  
  The much awaited court ruling on when Kenyans will go the polls came in a few moments ago and the initial reaction is that it is NOT good news for most.
  
  Essentially the ruling says that unless the two principals dissolve the coalition then we will have to wait until the expiry of the current parliament which will be January 15th and then go to the polls 60 days after that which will be mid March 2013.
  
  The vast majority of Kenyans on the ground sense mischief in pushing the elections to 2013. But naturally they are not aware of the fact that the law is the law. And it can hardly be twisted to suit anybody’s whims. The law which brought about the coalition government that we have suffered under for the last four long years (which actually feels more like 8 years) superseded many other laws of the land, including the new constitution it now seems.
  
  But some important points to note here so that we don’t loose perspective;
  
  • The most likely mid March 2013 election date is barely 3 months after the most popular suggested date for the general elections so far which is in December 2012.
  
  • It is also about 7 months or so after the August date the new constitution talks about.
  
  • It is NOT a whole year later.
  
  Still the mood on the ground is that any extra hours longer than necessary that the current parliament and leadership remains in office is too long. And to most people it seems that the elections have been put back a whole year!
  
  To be very honest there is still too much to be done legislatively so much so that the most realistic date for Kenyans to go to the polls is after January 31st 2013. That is the truth.
  
  But then who cares about the truth when it is politics and the mood of the country we are talking about? Long suffering Kenyans have good reason to feel what they are feeling after decades of very bad leadership and this is the main reason why there is always so much excitement and anticipation whenever a new election comes up. It offers new hope to the people that things will change for the better. This time round the anticipation is at fever pitch because of the new constitution Kenyans so unanimously passed into law. A constitution written mostly with the blood of the people of Kenya a fact which many of us conveniently chose to forget way too often. Although just now it may be a little easier to remember because neighbouring Tanzania is clamoring for a new constitution and already it seems that the road is going to be very long and treacherous probably even more so than what Kenyans went through because baba na mama CCM (Chama Cha Mapinduzi) will not let go of power that easily. And unlike Kanu in the 1980s this is a party that has tentacles reaching into every small nook and cranny of Tanzanian life. So much so that many ordinary Tanzanians wryly call house flys “CCM”. The CCM juggernaut is the very heart beat of this vast underdeveloped sleeping giant of a nation whose citizens mostly envy Kenyans just because they can speak English. But that is not Kumekucha’s jurisdiction and so let us come back to Kenya shall we.
  
  My take is that the ruling of the constitutional court on the next general elections has had the effect of causing the very unpopular leadership in the country to become even more unpopular in the eyes of the people.
  
  
  Political joke of the week;
  Little Njoro of Buru estate in Nairobi wanted Kshs 1,000 badly and prayed to God for two weeks but nothing happened.
  
  Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the Kshs 1,000. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God from Buru buru in Kenya, they decided to send it to State House.
  
  The letter never even got to the president but an aide was very touched and so he sent the boy Kshs 200. He felt that this was a lot of money for a small kid.
  
  Njoro was delighted when he received the Kshs 200 and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:
  
  Dear God,
  Thank you very much for sending the money.
  
  I don’t want to sound ungrateful but I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through State House and, as usual, those crooks deducted a whole Kshs 800. My teacher tells me that you never forget, but did you not this once forget that Kenya is one of the most corrupt countries in the world and that as my dad is always saying corruption starts at the top?
  
  I suggest you send an angel next time.
  
  Thanks,
  Njoro.Kumekucha

  
  

• Why Baraza is Still in Office: Kwenda Rokota Hio Mtu

  Posted: January 10, 2012, 11:56 pm by kumekucha

  One of the pet subjects of this blog right from inception has been how there are two completely different laws. One for the Kerubos and another for the Barazas. This is in keeping with the Kenyan tradition of having two of everything; businessmen have two books of accounts one for the KRA and the other for personal use, majority Kenyan men have two women, one to bear their children the other for “hepi”.
  
  Over the years I have given many examples including the one where the police are a favourite option for debt collection. In one case I personally witnessed a couple of years ago, this guy was owed 700 bob for some products they had given on credit. He bribed the police 1000 bob to have the guy picked up. He was locked up until a relative turned up to pay 3000 bob (includes interest). Nice tidy profit and they got paid. Was this Kenyan a genius or what?
  
  In the spirit of the new constitution many Kenyans had hoped that the law would start being a little more equal but alas, the Nancy Baraza saga proves that this is just not the case.
  
  We know that in the Baraza case the police have said they have enough evidence to prosecute. So what are they waiting for? If Ms Baraza was an ordinary Kenyan she would have been in police cells for the last 11 days waiting for the police to make that decision.
  
  Kwenda rokota hio mtu (go pick up that person) is a well known Kenya police mantra. If you were some nobody Kenyan resisting being searched at the Village market on the date that my birthday falls on, a phone call later somebody at Gigiri police station would have been barking that order; Kwenda rokota hio mtu. That would have been due process for them.
  
  Instead 11 days later Ms Baraza is still at large,
  
  One good thing that has come out of this whole episode is that Kenyans have learnt the true character of their deputy CJ. She has not had the common decency to read the writing on the wall and hand in her resignation. Instead she has opted to cling to her office as if she were clinging to dear life. Very Kenyan and very disgusting.
  
  And then some brute of a man comes out and makes a statement to the effect that “big people” are always being harassed by small security people in the country every day. Had Hon Fred Gumo been an ordinary Kenyan he would now be rotting in jail serving multiple sentences. The man has assaulted so many Kenyans (including the famous slapping of a returning officer who happened to be a woman during a general election) that using the term “brute” to describe him is being very kind. Is he trying to make excuses for the deputy CJ just because she comes from his part of the world (tribalism?)? Or is it because the DCJ let off Kerubo lightly with only a pinch of the nose when Gumo angechafua?
  
  Why don’t we change the constitution so that we constitute committees (or even better commissions to enquire into the conduct of…) to deliberate every time somebody commits a crime?
  
  P.S. Fred Gumo... suggested that security guards be trained on how to treat VIPs.
  
  He said it was unfair that some of them were subjected to public embarrassment by guards who do not know them. “In this country we have people who are important. If you are an important person – if you are a minister like me, fortunately I am known by most of the security people. There are people who have just been appointed. They should handle people with care, not roughing them .”
  
  The part that had be rolling on the floor was when he said; "fortunately I am known by most security people.”
  
  Of course Bwana Gumo, you are known for your extremely violent ways.Kumekucha

  
  

• Nancy Barasa Update: Why Nose Pinching Says Something About 2012

  Posted: January 7, 2012, 2:05 am by kumekucha

  Observe the signs carefully and you will know the future, we are told by those who predict stuff. We are also informed that the gate of anything is very important, observe carefully what happened at the “entrance to 2012” and you will know the future.
  
  This is gibberish to most of us but if for a minute we humour this mumbo jumbo then the incident at the village market last Saturday and more importantly the repercussions which are still unfolding could mean that we have entered the year of the under dog.
  -------------------------------------------------------
  See earlier post on this subject: Why Nancy Barasa must resign
  -------------------------------------------------------
  This will be the year when humble Davids will fell Goliaths. Who knew Rebecca Kerubo Morara before Saturday? And before her nose was allegedly pinched. A nobody security guard stationed at the Village market to frisk all lady’s (albeit the less violent and non-serial nose pinchers) entering the up market mall. As you read this the Deputy Chief Justice’s job hangs on the balance and even if she remains in office the rest of her term is bound to be extremely shaky. All because of a small nobody security guard called Rebecca Kerubo Morara.
  
  This could just be a sign of things to come. Great news for the long suffering down-trodden Kenyan. It could mean that if indeed elections are going to be held this year then we will see nobodies elected, probably up to the highest office in the land. The mood on the ground certainly supports this theory.
  
  Meanwhile the chief justice and JSC have already received at least one private petition to sack Nancy Barasa from a Mr Peter Gichira Solomon. He says in his petition;
  
  “My petition for the removal of the Deputy Chief Justice from office is informed by my worry that, on one hand, public dissatisfaction with the way this issue is dealt with may strike a fatal to confidence on the Judiciary and the rule of law at the very inception from the New Constitution,
  
  On the other hand, if the law is given the highest priority and justice is done, then a reputation for the Judiciary and the new dispensation will forever have been established.”
  Kumekucha

  
  

• Why Nancy Barasa Must Resign

  Posted: January 5, 2012, 3:38 am by kumekucha

  …Opium sessions have to end
  
  What happened at the Village Market last Saturday is the big problem we have with our leaders past and present. And it is a problem that we must correct NOW if we are to change the destiny of our dear beloved nation.
  Impeccable sources close to the late Mulu Mutisya assured me several times that there was nothing that used to jazz the King of Ukambani more than the kind of attention his entrance anywhere elicited. I was once in an office when Bwana Mutisya walked in and everybody stood up to attention and those who were wearing hats removed them. He arrogantly waved his hands and walked into his office. A man who never saw the inside walls of a classroom causing such ripples used to give Mutisya the kind of “high” that was well above what one can expect from opium or cocaine. And so it is safe to assume that he must have had a shattering and memorable orgasm the day a very well educated man and learned friend called Kalonzo Musyoka knelt down before him in seeking a career in politics. And there is evidence to prove that the kneeling was super effective in achieving its’ objectives because there were no general elections in site but a couple of weeks later Musyoka was seated inside parliament. The MP he replaced in Mwingi was shot dead by a crazed administration policeman in an incident that has never been fully explained to this day and in the hurried by-election that followed Wiper was in Bunge. Just like that!! But that is a story for another day.
  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  How did Miguna Miguna's financial problems vanish so suddenly?
  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  Our leaders have these opium sessions from being called mheshimiwa and from making grand entrances in public places where business comes to a stand still because of them. Like the time shortly after the President of the Republic of Kenya went on national TV to talk matters of national importance in the form of telling Kenyans lies to the effect that he had only one wife called Lucy and that anybody else claiming otherwise was an imposter. About two days later “the Imposter” Mary wa Munene (better known as Mary Wambui) made a grand entrance at a supermarket at the Sarit Centre allegedly to do some shopping accompanied by some heavy GSU protection.
  
  I am persuaded that a poor security guard called Ms Kerubo tried to interfere with one of these opium sessions last Saturday and that was the crux of the problem and the real reason why all hell broke loose. She claims at one point she was on her knees begging for her life to be spared gun pointed at her. What really terrified her was the fact that her late father who was also a security guard had lost his life identical circumstances.
  
  While confusion surrounds the allegation that the deputy CJ fetched a gun from her car which she used to threaten the guard (because CCTV footage does not capture this) it is clear that the deputy CJ threatened the guard and she also refused to be frisked.
  
  People who refuse to be frisked in public places amaze me and I tend to doubt their intelligence because after all for whose benefit is the frisking being done? Is it not to protect you? And so by refusing to be frisked you are actually saying you do not want to be protected from possible terror threats which are very real in Kenya just now, especially in public places like shopping malls.
  
  In the minds of a vast majority of the folks seeking political office this year the furthest thing on their minds is serving the people. Instead they are ejaculating just thinking of all the wonderful opium sessions they are going to enjoy once in office. In presidential motorcades, governors’ motorcades etc. The people’s agenda is a distant third on their to-do-list. No prizes for guessing what number two (or number one on some lists) is. It is getting rich.
  
  Now is a good time to rudely interrupt these ongoing opium sessions by asking Ms Barasa to resign immediately. You can be sure that it will not stop this human vanity nonsense, but at least it will be a wake up call and we must start somewhere.
  
  My dear fellow Kenyans, let us call for the immediate resignation of the deputy CJ. No stories, no excuses, no delay.
  
  For the record the deputy chief justice and vice president of the Supreme Court of the current banana republic of Kenya hails from a place that is not far away from the village of my late mother and my relatives over there are very proud of her and her achievements. Naturally they will not take kindly to this post. The Bukusu are much more violent than the cowardly Akamba and I am sure if I went ahead with my planned visit there soon I am bound to find myself in a situation where something much more lethal than a beer bottle will be flying in my direction. But alas I love my country more.
  
  Breaking News: Chief Justice Mutunga Calls Emergency JSC Meeting To Discuss BarasaKumekucha

  
  

• Moi Leading In Kumekucha Polls?

  Posted: January 3, 2012, 6:42 am by kumekucha

  My spiritual advisor was giving me some advice the other day. Excerpts…
  
  “Chris, this being an election year there will be plenty happening and I notice that you take some of these things very personally. Too personally. Kwani who are you? Anyway it is not good for your health. And what you feel will not change anything. You should take yourself less seriously? Why don’t you post jokes in that Kumekucha blog of yours?”
  
  Jokes in Kumekucha? But that is ridiculous.
  
  But 3 weeks later I have chewed on what that wise Tanzanian said. It is true I take myself too seriously. And so you will also find a political joke at the end of this post. Enjoy and quit taking yourself so seriously, life is too short for that.
  
  * * *
  
  I have spent the last 3 months or so down on the ground with ordinary Kenyans trying to discover the most popular presidential candidate. It was an interesting experience because after a while I started getting the feeling that I was trying to stuff presidential candidates down the throats of Kenyans.
  Martha who? Eti Raila? Ukitaja jina ya huyo mtu tena itabidii utoke hapa (if you mention that man’s name again you will need to leave).
  
  And so I threw away my elaborate forms, notes and papers and started listening to the people. Really listening. What emerged may be a joke to most folks, but it is an accurate representation of what the majority of ordinary folk feel right now.
  
  My poll results show that former President Moi is the most popular presidential candidate in the ghettos of Kenya today. The feeling amongst the people is that during his tenure they had a lot more cash in their pockets. The people are desperate to return to those days.
  
  Huyu mtu Moi hawezi kurudi? Constitution mpya inasema nini? (This man Moi cannot come back? What does the new constitution say?)
  
  Tying at second place in the Kumekucha poll is Professor George Saitoti and Rev Mutava Musyimi. Ordinary folks believe that if Moi cannot be brought back then the next best person who knew what Moi did that made it possible for them to have cash in their pockets is GeorgeSaitoti who was his VP for many years. It was not immediately clear to me why Musyimi ranked so highly in my poll but my guess is that it still has to do with getting the money to return.
  
  I emerged from my tour of Kenya very confused but very clear on one thing. This presidential election is going to be about money in the people’s pocket, presidential hopefuls take note.
  
  The really bad news is that evil Moi is going to carry a lot of clout in Rift valley politics this time round. No governor is going to get elected without his blessing. I find that really really sad.
  
  * * *
  
  Joke ya kusindikiza post….
  While walking down Haille Selassie Avenue one day a pot bellied Kenyan MP is tragically hit by a speeding matatu and dies on the spot.
  
  His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. “Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see waheshimiwa around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.”
  
  “No problem, just let me in I am a lawmaker from the republic of Kenya,” says the MP who was at the forefront of voting several times for indiscriminate salary increments for MPs.
  
  “Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”
  
  “Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the MP.
  
  “I’m sorry, but we have our rules.” And with that, St.Peter escorts him to the lifts and he finds himself going down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They even sing Kanu yajenga nchi for good measure. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on nyama choma, mukimo and Tusker. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly and nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. Everybody is shocked after all they have heard about Satan before.
  
  They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the lift goes back up...The lift goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. “Now it's time to visit heaven.”
  
  So, 24 hours pass with the corrupt MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
  
  “Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”
  The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.” So St. Peter escorts him to the lift and he goes down, down, down to hell.
  
  Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in bags as more trash falls from above. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.
  
  "I don't understand," stammers the MP. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate juicy nyama choma, drank cold Tuskers, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
  
  The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning....Today you voted. Si you know politics?"Kumekucha

  
  

• Only the Stupid Are Poor: Beware of Folks Whose Second Name is Also Their First Name

  Posted: January 1, 2012, 12:06 am by kumekucha

  Christmas holidays are a time for showing off and letting your family and village folk know just how well you are doing. This family I know are no exception.Do you have any idea what a Prado costs?
  There is a son who has been trying to make money doing business for decades. He still doesn’t drive and he still does not have money. Then there his sister who is super rich. She works for a top corporate entity in Nairobi. You see the son is stupid because he does not use his opportunities well. Some principled pauper. The sister drives a Prado which she turned up with in the rural home for the Christmas festivities. (Do you have any idea what a Prado costs? The villagers would have fainted this Christmas if they knew). She is no fool, she simply uses what she has to get what she does not have. She has the looks and so after completing some secretarial course some decades back and tarmacing for a job without any luck, she got smart. There was this bald headed influential CEO who was extremely well connected and he just wanted a small favor to facilitate a well paying job for her. And so she dropped her panties and after taking his weight on her marital bed (I kid you not) for ONLY about 10 minutes or so everything changed. She got her first major break. Briefly told she just dropped her now silky expensive panties to the top.
  
  But who cares how she made her money? Or rather who wants to know? The parents believe she is very hard working and smart. Their first born son? Well he’s hard working but stupid and poor. He doesn’t drive and he doesn’t bring them shopping from Tusky’s. He just talks a lot about principles and a clear conscience. But then talk is cheap.
  
  Many Kumekuchans will agree with this analysis especially when they realize that the poor son has turned down numerous mega-deals just because his conscience did not allow it.
  
  With that kind of background we can move straight into politics.
  
  This guy called Miguna Miguna is very smart. He is certainly not like the poor son in our true story at the beginning of this post. The guy uses what he has to get what he does not have.
  ----------------------------------------
  Other recent posts by Kumekucha Chris;
  Warning to those seeking political office in 2012
  
  Kumekucha's head stops a flying beer bottle from a Kalonzo Musyoka die hard
  ----------------------------------------
  Picture the following. Last week he went into a very lengthy meeting with the Prime Minister to negotiate his re-instatement back to his old plum job complete with body guards etc. Bwana Miguna came out of that meeting with his old job literally in his pocket. And so why was he calling a press conference barely hours later to announce that he had rejected an offer to reinstate him? Emphasizing that it was the PM who looked for him and not the other way round?
  
  Miguna assures us that the PM is extremely corrupt (which Kenyan politician isn’t? Besides I will publish a post that exposes him soon) but Miguna loves working for the corrupt PM and is prepared to spend a lot of time negotiating for his old job back.
  
  You see Miguna is smart and NOT like the poor son at the beginning of this post because he simply uses what he has to get what he dose not have.
  
  Did double M do some calculations which he was not able to do on the table during the meeting with the PM and realize that he could make much more money from his upcoming book and other deals in his role as whistle blower? He’s probably listened to this Kenny Rogers song called the gambler. “Never count your money on the table coz they will be time enough to count it when the dealing is done.”
  
  And while we are trying to answer that million shilling question, here is another more disturbing one for you.
  
  When Miguna was “suspended without pay” the man was broke. Impeccable sources told this blogger that that was the main “beef” he had with the PM. You see he was very hurt because the PM knew very well that suspending him without pay would hurt him badly and leave him a pauper since he had sacrificed everything for Raila. Folks, all of a sudden double M’s financial problems have vanished into thin air. So what exactly happened?
  
  My fellow Kumekuchans I have no idea what came down (at least not yet) but this I can tell you for sure; chances are that the smart man simply used what he has to get what he does not have.Kumekucha

  
  

• Why 2012 Will Continue To Be My AHA Year

  Posted: January 1, 2012, 2:22 am by kumekucha

  Happy New Year Kumekuchans!!!
  
  Most of us imagine that we are fairly intelligent and will never lose an opportunity to point out how “slow” others are in grasping stuff. But the truth is that we are all NOT very clever. The whole lot of us.
  
  How do you for instance explain full grown men huddled in a small bar with no ventilation just to watch the images of 22 full grown men chasing around an inflated cow hide beamed onto a screen in the room from a very far away land? And then some of them have the audacity to go out and kill themselves just because some of the vicious leather-kicking-chaps did not hack the damn cow hide between two posts. Humans can't be that bright.
  
  And I can give many, many more examples that prove that the human race is nothing short of idiots who think they are very clever.
  
  But once in a while people do admit how dumb they have been and that is what I call the “aha” moment. When you see things so very clearly for the first time. For Isaac Newton an apple had to fall from a tree above and hit his soft mzungu head hard for him to “see” that there was something called gravity (why had nobody thought of that all those centuries?).
  
  For yours truly it may have been a flying beer bottle colliding with my head on New Year’s Eve thrown with uncommon venom by a Kalonzo Musyoja die-hard supporter. This rabid tribalist-beer-bottle-thrower did not take kindly to my insightful observation that it was easier for my dead grandmother to be elected the fourth president of Kenya posthumously than it was for one Kalonzo Musyoka to win the presidency even after all his possible opponents were conveniently locked up at the Hague and the key thrown into that river I hear passes close to that famous city.
  
  Anyway the details of that bottle collision with my head and the resultant injuries are nowhere near as important as what happened immediately after impact. I had one of those major “aha” moments where everything became so crystal clear to me. Especially the idiotic Kenyan politics I write about in this blog.
  
  Kumekucha readers can expect to benefit tremendously from this great aha moment in the posts to follow and every single one you will read here in this very political year.
  
  I take this opportunity to apologize to you all for all the dumb posts of the past. I promise to shape up in 2012.
  
  Kindly share your “aha’ moments of 2011 in the comments section below even as you look forward to my upcoming aha posts of 2012 on Kenyan politics and politicians.Kumekucha

  
  

• Kumekucha’s Warning To Those Seeking Political Office in 2012

  Posted: December 29, 2011, 12:14 am by kumekucha

  In the next few months President Emilio Mwai Kibaki will leave office. The truth is that the Kibaki administration has done quite a few useful things when it comes to development and getting Kenya to the next level, but sadly all those achievements will be swallowed up by the numerous blunders and errors of judgment made by a man who was way too eager to lead the nation.
  Please bare with me as I tell you a little story. Some years back I had the privilege of taking a brief spiritual course that involved Bible teachings on leadership, spirits, demons and the occult world. The instructor was a man who took every chance to comment on Kenyan politics and the major players involved in it. I took his comments very seriously because he had a track record of correctly predicting presidential results in Kenya for over 20 years including the dramatic 2002 elections that were unexpectedly peaceful and also surprisingly ushered in the opposition dethroning Kanu for the first time since independence. In 2002 he did not make his prediction at the last minute when it was so obvious Narc was going to win. He made it before the famous Kibaki/Wamalwa/Ngilu meetings to seek unity had even begun.
  
  Anyway my point is that my instructor kept on emphasizing that people should always be very wary of those who are too eager to lead. Whether it was in the office or in national politics, the best leader was always the person reluctant to take up leadership because they were fully aware and almost frightened of the responsibilities involved.
  
  I have proven that observation to be 1000 percent correct. In neighbouring Tanzania one Jakaya Mrisho Kikwete has always been very eager to be president and his ambition had to be cut short by none other than the founding father of that Nation Mwalimu Julius Nyerere who told CCM delegates in Dodoma that the man was not ready as he opted for a William Mkapa presidency instead. The Mkapa presidency is today viewed by the vast majority of Tanzanians as the golden years and this is just one of the reasons why Kikwete will go down in history as one of the most unpopular presidents in Tanzania as he has staggered down his presidential term with no clear priorities, agenda or workable plan to build on Mkapa achievements. His ame plane seems to have been simply “I will do better.” The poor man was way too eager to land in state house and was so sure that he could do an excellent job that he just stopped short of rubbishing his predecessor’s presidency. I am sure where he is now he has a lot more respect for President Mkapa and his presidency.
  
  President Kibaki is no different. I have done countless posts here detailing how he arrogantly brushed off the Moi presidency assuring Kenyans that he could do a much better job. As you read this, if there was an election today pitting Kibaki against Moi, Moi would win by a landslide very close to 100 percent of the votes cast.
  
  Beware of those who are way too eager to lead. Look for the reluctant humble candidate who respects and almost fears the grave responsibilities that leadership thrusts on anybody’s hands.
  
  The worst mistake Kibaki ever made in his political career was in December 2007. Way back in 1969 Mwai Kibaki lost his Bahati parliamentary seat in Nairobi to a woman and just couldn’t take it and so he rigged himself back into parliament. That little story was forgotten and history would never have remembered it. Indeed Mwai Kibaki was a very respected politician in the run up to the 2007 general elections. So respected that nobody wanted to believe that he could rig an election. Not even when the writing was clearly on the wall in 2007 as he ignored the opposition and hand picked commissioners to ECK.
  
  In retrospect history would have treated Mwai Kibaki as one of the great Kenyan presidents had he accepted the people’s verdict in 2007 and left office peacefully. For starters nobody would have died. And poor Raila Odinga would have taken the blame for a lot of the things that have happened over the last four years or so that are beyond anybody’s control, like the ugly world economic recession that persists and has brought much suffering to Kenyans. The Kibaki presidency of 2003-2007 would have really looked good. Now the member for Othaya not only has blood on his hands but also has a possible appointment at the courts in the Hague after he leaves office hanging over his head (and that is one of the reasons why he is always protecting a serial rapist and mass murderer called Al Bashir).
  
  My message to all those seeking political office in 2012, including my dear younger brother who has always been way too eager to lead the family (although he is not the first born) and now wants to extend his “leadership qualities” to the electorate somewhere in Ukambani, is simple. Learn from Mwai Kibaki and let it go before it is too late. If you find that you are too eager to lead and are daydreaming about being called muheshimiwa or having a motorcade go with you everywhere you go… STOP. Take some aspirin and lie down and carefully think of the Kibaki and Kikwete presidency and hopefully the crazy urge will pass and you will be cured of this life-threatening condition.
  
  Kivuitu blames Kibaki for 2007 Polls ChaosKumekucha

  
  

• Throwing Stones On Behalf Of The President?

  Posted: November 16, 2011, 6:05 am by kumekucha

  Raphael Tuju's chances of becoming president of Kenya are slimmer than those of my Grandmother, so why throw stones?
  
  In the days of President Jomo Kenyatta the old man would settle his scores with nothing less than blood. That is a why a poor man called Pio Gama Pinto (amongst other slowish Kenyans) lost his life for simply retorting to a Jomo Kenyatta insult. Kenyatta called him an idiot and Pinto replied; you are also an idiot in front of witnesses.
  
  Daniel arap Moi was the first to come up with the idea of having hooligans emphasize his political stand to those citizens who were a tad slow in catching the drift.
  
  Uhuru Kenyatta’s handlers are said to have emphasized to their boss that there is now way you can become a big man in African politics without a hooligan wing to take care of business. The dreaded Mungiki are the folks who have been handling that end of affairs for the son of Jomo and it all culminated in the sad events of January 2008.
  
  Now assuming that Raila Odinga becomes the next president of Kenya like some Kenyans believe he will and Kumekucha introduces himself somewhere in the province where I was in fact born by a strange twist of fate (although I am NOT a Luo), chances are that yours truly will suddenly find that it is raining stones on him.
  
  What Kenyans need to discuss on a very serious note are those presidential candidates who do things in the old hooligan ways and those who do not. Sincerely in this day and age there are some issues that should be pretty clear cut. Raphael Tuju should be allowed to carry his presidential campaign anywhere in the country he wants to go and if I was a presidential candidate and folks claiming to be my supporters did such n idiotic thing as to stone a nobody with no chance at coming anywhere near the presidency in a century, then I would step down from running for the presidency. Pure and simple. But alas, there is nothing simple about Kenyan politics, is there?
  
  You don't have to resign from your valued job to own a lucrative business: How To Turn Your Idle Hours Into CashKumekucha

  
  

• Oligarchies Unite for The Final Assault on the Sheeple

  Posted: November 13, 2011, 5:05 am by kumekucha

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  Since at least July, 2011, we have witnessed some major political moves which we fear many have not noticed, or, understood their full bearings in the scheme of things. At the headquarters of the the Western Empire, we witnessed some CREATED drama about debt ceilings and all that, live on the CNN and such other propaganda channels. So as to resolve this created circus, both Democrats led by NERO Golfer HOOVER Obama, and the Republicans agreed to form an unconstitutional super - committee of 12 TYRANTS. These 12 TYRANTS were mandated to to find out where cuts in the USA’ government must be made. Needless to say, it must also, “decide” who shall plundered more so as to raise more revenue to bailout the OLIGARCHY.

  Once these 12 TYRANTS who are working BEHIND CLOSED DOORS like the Kenyan KANU of 1980’s decide who shall be plundered, their findings must be adopted by the USA’s Congress or automatic cuts must come into place. The question is, if the 12 TYRANTS who are conducting their business behind closed door meetings can order the elected leaders of the American people, we ask, where is democracy in all this? The main deal is this. The farce that goes for the Western democracy (which we call OPIUM SESSIONS) is now dead. Times are too serious for even the farcical democracy. Live with it!
  

  That famous "evil" genius Machiavelli, wrote this:

  ". . .I have not found among my belongings anything as dear to me or that I value as much as my understanding of the deeds of great men, won by me from a long acquaintance with CONTEMPORARY AFFAIRS and a CONTINUOUS STUDY of the ANCIENT WORLD; these matters I have very diligently analyzed and pondered for a long time, and now, having summarized them in a little book, I am sending them to Your Magnificence."
  

  Machiavelli, although totally misunderstood by those who call him devilish, taught us very valuable lessons on human character. Let us therefore, heed his counsel and travel to the ancient world for some insight on contemporary affairs. Leaving out a lot of details on the whole affair of war between ancient Athens and Sparta, we just note that, in 411 B.C., Athens, having been at war with Sparta and its allies since 327 B.C., was becoming FINANCIALLY EMBARRASSED and socially exhausted. To remedy the grave situation, they IMPOSED NEW TAXES on IMPORTS and EXPORTS, but, all this did not work. In other words, AUSTERITY was not working.

  As a result of the deteriorating economic which must as a rule lead to social, cultural and political deterioration, the Athenian’s GOVERNING ELITE, i.e. the oligarchs, decided to overthrow the Athenian "Democracy." We put the word in this manner because, honestly, there was no democracy in Athens. So as to organize the OLIGARCHIC COUP, the oligarchs met secretly with a guy called ALCIBIADES, who had been exiled from Athens, and, who was working for the King of Persia who had in turn formed an alliance with Spartans. Having agreed to have Alcibiades recalled to Athens to lead the oligarchic coup, they sent another guy called PISANDER to plead Alcibiades case in Athens.
  

  Unfortunately, most people in Athens did not like the idea of overthrowing the Athenian “democracy.” Even some Generals did oppose the coup. These generals were the first casualties of the coup. So as to convince the Athenians who were against the idea of an oligarchic coup, he would call them separately and ask them something like this: Now that, the Spartans and their allies have joined hands with the Persian King who is supplying them with money, ships, men etc which we do not have, can Athens survive unless we bring the Persian King on our side? Seeing the grave situation as it was, they would reply, clearly, it was not possible. Having gotten this answer, he would then speak straight to them and tell them this:

  “Well, then, that is impossible unless we have a MORE INTEGRATED GOVERNMENT, with the powers in FEWER HANDS, so that the King may trust us. At the moment what we have to think about is our survival, not the form of our constitution. We can always change that later, if we do not like it. And we must bring Alcibiades back, because he is the only person now living who can arrange this for us.”
  

  Having made it clear to the Athenians that, they had “no choice at all,” and they could change the constitution later if they wished, they gave in. In other words, the Athenians gave in to the idea of a UNITY/COALITION GOVERNMENT which was in fewer hands. This brings us to the 2011 drama.

  A few days ago, the Prime Minister of Greece, announced a referendum whereby, the Greek people would have voted to accept or reject the genocidal austerity measures required by the EU and the IMF (read oligarchy). Within a few hours, he was “forced” to scrap the referendum. On top of this, he was “forced” to resign with his post taken by a TECHNOCRAT chosen by all major political parties in a government of NATIONAL UNITY which will push for the austerity measures. So, why did the Greece Prime Minister do this? Simply, he was orchestrating a crisis so as to suspend the right of the Greek people to vote on any measure dictated by the rotten and degenerate oligarchy running the world affairs. For instance, the News Sky reported that:
  

  “Greece's Prime Minister has scrapped plans for a referendum on the eurozone bailout plan - telling Sky News he never wanted it to happen. The surprise climbdown, confirmed by the country's finance minister, came after emergency talks in which the opposition party called for early elections and immediate approval of the rescue plan. There are now unconfirmed reports that leader George Papandreou he has struck a deal to step down and hand power to a new coalition government if they help him win a confidence vote on Friday.” Source: http://is.gd/vdldIy.

  There you have it. The whole circus was meant to bring in an oligarchic government which means that, whatever decisions the single party state makes for the benefit of the oligarchy must be followed by the Greek people. And, the new Prime Minister, Papademos wasted no time in telling us what his job is.
  

  For instance, speaking to the British Establishment propaganda house, i.e. the BBC, we are told that: the new Greek Prime Minister Lucas Papademos has said the priority of his incoming coalition cabinet is to seek unity to keep Greece in the eurozone. "The choices WE make will be decisive for the Greek people," he said, adding that the euro was vital for prosperity. "The path will not be easy but I am convinced the problems will be solved faster and at a smaller cost if there is unity and consensus," he told reporters. Source: http://is.gd/Je1dHR.

  And, if you have doubts who is his boss, here is his answer:
  

  "The participation of our country in the eurozone is a guarantee for the country's monetary stability. It is a driver of financial prosperity," Papademos said after getting the mandate to form a Cabinet. "I am not a politician, but I have dedicated most of my professional life to exercising financial policy both in Greece and in Europe." Source: http://is.gd/DXH4N1.

  Let us translate this jackal language for you. Monetarism is a concept of Empires, imperialists, jackals and hyenas. That is why for instance, as the Spanish Empire received more gold and silver from the mutilated, raped and murdered “Indians,” it was collapsing. As concerns FINANCE, just know this. Finance is a parasite on the real economy. As we all know, ticks can only be fat when the host is dying. In the same manner, the financial prosperity he talks about, must come at the expense of the real economy where most of the Greek people live and work. As such, when he says he has dedicated his life to financial policy, he says, he has dedicated his life to parasitism.
  

  And, this brings us to the Italian circus. As the circus in Greece was “dying down,” Italy was subjected to a massive financial attack which drove its interest for 10 year bond to about 7%. This was the “hard evidence” required to prove that, Mr Berlusconi, elected by the Italians in their wisdom or folly, was not up to the job. So, what is the solution? Simple. Form a government of NATIONAL UNITY led by TECHNOCRATS such as the former EU commissioner Mario Monti so as to enact the “reforms” required by the oligarchy.

  However, before the Italian President (we are told he is, just like the Queen of England, Sweden etc a ceremonial decoration. What a LIE told to the humanity since 1848?) could accept the resignation of Mr Berlusconi, he had to ensure passage of some draconian austerity measures which include: an increase in VAT, from 20% to 21%, a freeze on public-sector salaries until 2014, the retirement age for women in the private sector will gradually rise, from 60 in 2014 until it reaches 65 in 2026, the same age as for men, measures to fight tax evasion will be strengthened, including a limit of 2,500 euros on cash transactions, there will be a special tax on the energy sector and above all, that employers must be allowed to hire and fire people more easily if business is to be given a freer hand. What about this Mario Monti as compared to the Italians who will be fired and hired like the feudal serfs. He is a SENATOR FOR LIFE. Source: http://is.gd/34s02S.
  

  But, who is behind these suspensions of what are already farcical democracy? Again, we turn to the British Establishment mouth piece where we are told that, in the past few weeks a kind of politburo has emerged. This POLITBURO of the United Oligarchic Republic of Europe is made up of three “democratically” elected leaders, i.e. the German Chancellor Angela Merkel, the French President Nicolas Sarkozy and Jean-Claude Juncker, the Prime Minister of Luxembourg.

  In addition to the three “democratically” elected leaders, we have other FIVE TYRANTS on the table. In its propagandist manner, the BBC sanitises the FIVE TYRANTS this way:
  

  “Also at the table are five others chosen by their peers: Jose Manuel Barroso and Ollie Rehn from the European Commission; Herman Van Rompuy from the European Council; Mario Draghi, the new president of the European Central Bank; and all the way from Washington (but really from France) Christine Lagarde, the head of the IMF.” Source: http://is.gd/VanQDD.

  We “do not know” who are the peers who chose these 5 TYRANTS to lord over Europe like the feudal lords. However, we hope, we have shed some light on what is really going in the “Democratic” West. But, do not worry at all, for, just like Pisander assured the ancient Athenian’s, we are assured by the BBC that this is called leadership in extraordinary times, for in BBC’s words:
  “But what is interesting about this inner core within the inner core is that it has begun to flex its muscles. Leadership - that is what we have all been crying out for, isn't it? It has been pressure from members of the Frankfurt Group which has helped unseat recalcitrant prime ministers in Italy and Greece. That may raise questions about democratic legitimacy, but these are extraordinary times.” Source: http://is.gd/VanQDD.

  Now, we seek not to express any views about measures, policies, follies etc taken which have led to this crisis, or any measures wise or foolish and childish proposed to solve the crisis. What we wanted to point is this:
  

  The oligarchy has gambled big and lost. Instead of accepting their losses as one would expect in a free market which they preach to us, they have decided to unite under such names like unity, consensus, coalition, technocrat led governments, bipartisan committees and such pompous names so as to force down the “throats” of the masses their laws of plunder. Actually, may be, the French author, Linguet was damn right in correcting Mr Montesquieu’s juridical illusions when he noted that, “The Spirit of Laws is Property.” If not so, are we not now witnessing massive legal changes in the so called Democratic West, so as to: (a) protect the oligarchy's stolen property, and (b) legalise future robbery by the same oligarchy?

  Kumekucha

  
  

• Why Kenya is in VERY Serious Trouble

  Posted: November 2, 2011, 3:41 am by kumekucha

  I got rather amused the other day reading what very many worried Kenyans had to say about our youth joining the ranks of Al Shabab. They all had the same simple solution; create jobs for the youth.
  
  This illustrates very clearly the growing divide we have in our beloved country between what I call the have-something and the have-nothing-with-little-or-no-hope-for-tomorrow. This is an extremely dangerous divide and it grows wider (and rather rapidly at that) by the day. Those have-something comfortable readers of Kumekucha seated in some office in a high rise building in Nairobi belching and farting some heavy lunch and pretending to be very informed about Kenya versus that vast majority of Kenyans seated in some single room somewhere trying to figure out where their next meal is going to come from… and how to avoid meeting anybody from the long list of people they owe money. The interesting thing is that a vast majority of these folks do indeed have a job.
  
  I find it quite a challenge explaining what these guys feel when they go into a supermarket to buy 2 kilos of Sugar that they are going to share out with 3 other families (who all contributed) and find themselves right next to a fellow Kenyan at Tuskys who has just casually spent Kshs 15,000. These less fortunate Kenyans can only stare in envy because they have the kind of wallets that would pass out in shock if they contained even half that kind of money at any one time, no kidding.
  
  That’s why I laugh when our professional and extremely well-educated class suggest that we create jobs to save our youth from Al Shabab. I laugh and cry at the same time because history tells us that shortly before the French revolution somebody wondered why the starving masses didn’t go for cake if they could find no bread.
  
  But there is more than that on my mind this morning. We have the most careless and reckless president in the history of our country leading us into a war with Al Shabab. Most of the local press seems to have missed a major point here. Wars cost money… a lot of money. Why isn’t anybody talking about that. How are we financing this war? And this comes at a time when we are facing perhaps the most serious economic crisis the country has ever seen since it was birthed in 1963.
  
  Now don’t get me wrong. I have lots of patriotic blood running through my veins and I am well aware that we had little choice in the matter at hand. But considering the fact that some Al Shabab heavies are so cosy with some characters in government (a story so sensitive that it can only be published in my raw notes), couldn’t we have found another solution to this problem? Something more appropriate to the times and the situation? After all America went to war against the Al Qaeda in Afghanistan and years later what is the result?
  
  This is the reason why I am preparing a set of posts to help Kenyans survive the coming hard times and even see the massive opportunities amid all the serious problems and catastrophes that we face and will sink deeper into in the weeks and months to come.
  
  Post on Prime Minister to follow soon.Kumekucha

  
  

• Is The Prime Minister Corrupt?

  Posted: October 23, 2011, 9:06 pm by kumekucha

  Is it possible that Raila "must be president in 2012" Odinga is corrupt?
  
  I launched this blog in 2005 with an open mind. I promised myself to be balanced and NOT to have any sacred cows. Not even my hero and the biggest inspiration behind this blog, one Tom Mboya has been spared. I have always told it as it is and almost paid with my life once.
  
  At the beginning there was no problem because I uncovered little on one Raila Odinga. But now things have gotten really hot. It seems that it is okay to criticize Mwai Kibaki and say all sorts of things about him... but the minute I say anything negative about Raila Odinga... TROUBLE.
  
  The last time I published some info on the man in my raw notes, this blog was shut down by a very serious Malware attack. Luckily highly skilled friends of this site bailed us out. I also received some very angry emails from some of my subscribers... HOW DARE I..?##$@!!
  
  I am scared. What do I do with the information I have on Raila Odinga and corruption at the PM's office? What do I do with info that I have been researching over the last 2 years or so?
  
  Help me answer the question with the multiple choice answers below.
  
  a) I cannot afford to have the blog shut down again... NOT NOW. So I keep quiet and survive to fight another day.
  
  b) I reveal only bits and pieces carefully leaving out any incriminating bits that mention the "holy" Captain and pretend that I am being fair and balanced.
  
  c) Contact PNU hardliners for a hefty bribe in exchange for the information (although it may be a little late now with the latest developments at the PM's office.)
  
  d) Seek political asylum and all the high profile stuff that goes with it... probably in Ethiopia or even better... Libya. Actually my first choice would be South Africa followed by Swaziland (have always dreamt about attending those dances where the King selects a new bride annually).
  
  e) Publish a Mwai-Kibaki-bashing post instead and weave all kinds of conspiracy theories about how this whole thing is a PNU plot to finish Raila after he attacked the President Kibaki last week concerning 2008 poll chaos. This will sell better and give me more traffic especially from ODM strongholds in the US and Europe.
  
  f) Publish and be damned.
  
  Guys tell me what to do.Kumekucha

  
  

• Why Are We Still Supplying Cash and Khat To Somalia?

  Posted: October 19, 2011, 6:25 am by kumekucha

  The Bitter option indeed
  
  There are wars that you get involved in for very justifiable reasons. For example a neighbouring country invades you and you defend yourself. If you lose precious lives in such a conflict you somehow feel that it is justified.
  But Kenya has now been sucked into what is really somebody else’s war. A war that has nothing to do with us. Why do we keep on losing Kenyan lives on behalf of the United States of America? The country where Kenyans need to have an HIV test to go to (apart from going through all kinds of embarrassing and uncomfortable procedures to qualify for a mere 7 day visa)? Truly the US must be heaven, as Martha karua once said. But folks now we are at war because ncle Sam can’t do his own tidying up well enough.
  
  If the Al Shabab rebels without a cause hate the friends of America so much, why don’t they attack Liberia and other countries that are much closer to the United States? Why poor impoverished problem-ridden Kenya? The country hosting relatives of Al Shabab guys?
  
  Most Kenyans remember the bombing of the US embassy in Nairobi which at the time was the biggest strike against the Americans anywhere including US soil. But was it really against the Americans? How many Americans died? And how many Kenyans died? Well over 100 innocent Kenyans lost their lives while a handful of Americans died. How unfair!!!
  
  Now our hand has been forced into entering Somalia to pursue some confused kids who get an erection every time the name Al Quaida is mentioned. More Kenyan blood will be spilt… and for what?
  
  It just makes me very angry because I know what it means going to war. Or sending your brothers and sons who happen to be in the Kenya army to war. Sadly politicians don’t think in those terms. More dangerously so the man sitting in State House now who knows that he cannot constitutionally seek a third term (and neither can he steal another term like he did the last time).
  
  But even more ridiculous is the fact that we are still exporting tons of khat (miraa) to Somalia every day. You can imagine that Al Shabab confused kid sitting on his carpet in the evening chewing the stuff for inspiration on where and how to hit us next. Yep we are inspiring the enemy. Instead of hitting him where it hurts the most.
  
  How about shutting down Eastleigh? I know many innocent Somalis will suffer but I believe Kenyan lives will also be saved because it has been proved that Al Shabab financing comes through Kenya. ALWAYS!! And so apart from supplying the enemy with Khat we are also their banker and money transfer agent.
  
  WOW!!!
  
  What Chris Kumekucha is reading: Man died on plane while being deported back to Africa
  
  Hero Tom Mboya finally honoured 42 years after Kenya desperately tried to forget this great man.
  Kumekucha

  
  

• Can the Kenya Army Defeat The Al Shabab?

  Posted: October 17, 2011, 5:31 am by kumekucha

  Other recent posts by Chris:
  
  The Bitter Option Indeed
  
  Could this be what the government is doing with US Dollars?
  
  There was very heavy gunfire outside and I was huddled inside the tiny cupboard with my mother and younger brother (two years younger than me). I was only a handful of years old but I was really scared. More scared than I have ever been in my life. My kid brother threw up in the cupboard all over my mum’s night gown. This was Isiolo. My dad was not home having gone to the officer’s mess for his usual evening drink and Shifta bandits had raided the town and taken everybody (including the heavy Kenya Army presence) completely by surprise. I can remember the events of that day as if it was only yesterday, young as I was then.
  An American marine stripped almost naked and being dragged painfully along the streets of Mogadishu to a large crowd of cheering onlookers in the early 1990s shortly before President Clinton hurriedly pulled out American forces from the Wildest Wild West of Africa. Can the Kenya Army now win a war that American could not?
  
  Years later I learnt that things had not been any better at the mess which was a stone’s throw from where we lived. Everybody had taken cover when the Somali Shifta gunfire had started, including my dad. Somebody had also hit the lights and the place was in darkness. But after a short while my dad noticed some liquid on the floor near him. There seemed to be a leak somewhere. Or had somebody poured petrol into the place waiting to ignite it and destroy everything and everybody in there? He anxiously scooped up the liquid and carefully smelt it. It wasn’t petrol. It was human urine. The officer taking cover right next to him had passed urine over himself in fear.
  
  As you might have guessed I survived that unforgettable night of 1968. Somehow the Soldiers and police in town managed to keep the Shifta bandits at bay but fighting continued into the wee hours of the morning because I remember dozing off with gun fire still ringing in my ears.
  
  That was the Shifta war of the late 1960s. Now history has brought us full circle and the new name for the same enemy is Al Shabab.
  
  As predicted by this blogger in my raw notes months ago, after being defeated in Mogadishu, the Al Shabab have resorted to guerrilla tactics against Kenya. These Somali terrorists have become such a serious threat to Kenya that for the first time in the history of our nation we are at war. Nobody wants to say it but that is exactly what is happening as you read this.
  
  The Kenya Army has been deployed to our borders with orders to neutralize all Al Shabab threats 100 KM into Somalia from our borders. If that is not full scale war, then I need to go back to school to learn English.
  
  This new development brings back old memories of the terror that the Shifta unleashed on Kenyans. You see the Somalis are masters of guerrilla tactics and if you do not believe it ask the crack American Marines who were defeated very embarrassingly on the streets of Mogadishu in the early 1990s.
  
  In other words we have entered a Vietnam situation. For those who throw up at the mention of history a quick translation is in order. Ladies and Gentlemen the Kenya army has entered a war that it can never win. We lost the shifta war of the late sixties with very heavy casualties and there is nothing to suggest that this time round the results will be different.
  
  Admittedly we have very few options in this matter as our neighbours Somali seem to be very determined to share their chaos with us. Even full international intervention will not wipe out the Al Shabab threat overnight.
  
  I hate to be the one to break this to you on a Monday morning of all days... but apart from our other numerous problems, including a free falling Kenyan Shilling that is yet to hit the ground, we are now at war as a nation.
  
  God help Kenya.
  
  Kenyan Forces Pursue Al Shabab into SomaliaKumekucha

  
  

• The Bitter Option Indeed!

  Posted: October 15, 2011, 5:01 am by kumekucha

  Read another recent post by Chris: Is this what the government is doing with US dollars?
  
  Safaricom strategy at the expense of Kenyans: Sustain big fat profits at all costs!!
  
  It is now cheaper to call a Safaricom subscriber from rival Yu or Zain lines! Yep cheaper by a whole shilling than it is to call the same Safaricom subscriber from a Safaricom line. This is all in the latest effort by one of the most profitable enterprises in the history of East And Central Africa to further jack up their stinkingly huge profits. It matters little to them that Kenyans are going through the hardest of times hit by a free falling Kenyan shilling and inflation that is stubbornly pointing north.
  
  You would think that such a creative company would find other more creative ways of sustaining their obscene revenues and profits. It may not be easy for most Kenyans to picture just how much money Safaricom is already making from Kenyans. And so let us take their revenue in the last financial year. If it was to be distributed to all Kenyans we would all get slightly over Kshs 2,000 each!!! Including your small two month toddler!!
  
  But the really fascinating thing about Kenyans is that they have opted to stick with the bitter option and in effect frustrate the initiative towards lower calling tariffs. You would have thought that Kenyans would actively support low tariff networks like Yu, but it seems that it has all become an image game and everybody wants to show that they do not have any cash problems by sticking to Safaricom, no matter how bitter the experience is in reality.Kumekucha

  
  

• Could This Crazy Story Be True?

  Posted: October 14, 2011, 2:39 pm by kumekucha

  As most of you already know, this blogger relies a lot on tips and information given in confidence to stay ahead in this game. I classify my informants into two general categories going by the track record of the reliability of their information. These categories are “reliable” and “unreliable.” And even then I try my best never to publish any information until I have verified it from at least two independent sources. It is always very difficult to verify some of the crazy tips I receive and most of it is impossible to check out.
  When I cannot confirm the accuracy of a tip I will usually just file it away for future reference.
  
  I always get amazed at how tips re-emerge many months later and turn out to be pretty accurate, even when they have come from very unreliable and untested sources.
  
  I will never forget the most ridiculous tip I have ever received for the Kumekucha blog. It came a few months before the disputed 2007 presidential elections and it came from a source that was usually very unreliable. I was told that President Kibaki would steal the presidential elections and would win by a very thin margin of about 200,000 votes or less. That was ridiculous, I said to myself. Surely whoever crafted such a plan would see the blood bath that would result if anybody were to try out something so recklessly stupid. President Kibaki was many things but surely he would never sanction something as crazy as that, I told myself.
  
  Still the warning bells went off in my head and I decided to sound off the tip with somebody who knew the president very well. Their reaction shocked me.
  
  “It is very possible. He has done it before.” They went on to refer me to a little know story I had never heard of, about a parliamentary election in Nairobi in 1969 where Kibaki lost to a woman.
  
  The second person I called gave me the right reaction I was looking for. They laughed. “You have to be careful about these sources of yours, that tip is more appropriate for comedy.” When we hang up, the person was still laughing. “You’ve made my day with that crazy story of yours,” they said.
  
  Today I want to share a very crazy tip with you guys.
  
  Months ago. When the Kenya shilling was still very firm against the US dollar somebody whispered something crazy into my ear. I shall call my informant the mathematician. Our conversation went something like this.
  
  Mathematician:- Get out your calculator I have a story that is too hot even for Kumekucha.
  KK;- Really?
  Mathematician:- Imagine a situation whereby you wanted to raise a lot of money for an election campaign and you were in a position to manipulate the exchange rate. What would you do?
  KK;- Am not sure, you tell me.
  Mathematician:- The simplest way would be to accumulate all the dollars I would get my hands on, beg borrow and even steal. Cause the shilling to dramatically depreciate, cash in and then after a few months of crazy profits proceed to cause the shilling to recover. Mission accomplished. Check out that story.
  
  To be very honest, I found this the most ridiculous story I had ever heard. Everybody knows that even the government can not really manipulate the exchange rate. And so I made only one call. When I am looking for information I never make the classic Kenyan journalist mistake of wanting to look intelligent. I play dumb and it works very well. And so the guy on the other end started giving me a long lecture on monetary policy at the end of which I was almost sound asleep. I was barely conscious enough to say my thanks and hang up. End of story.
  
  But last night I started looking carefully at the chain of events that have taken place since the shilling went on a free fall. I paid special attention to the reaction of the government and especially the carefully choreographed events of the past week or so where Central Bank has thrown the ball to the Finance Minister who has promptly acted. Now as far as I know these are guys who should have been talking to each other behind the scenes since they came into office. Indeed there are those who believe that these conversations are carried out in the common mother tongue all these guys share so as to eliminate the possibility of any misunderstandings about the monetary policy going forward (but that is a story for another day.)
  
  At the end of my careful analysis, I remembered that ridiculous tip I received months ago from the Mathematician.
  
  And so when somebody called me to ask me what was happening about a new post, I decided to share with you good people, about what I am following up currently.
  
  Will keep you posted on this ridiculous and very possibly false tip that has stubbornly refused to stay filed away with the other “absurd” tips.Kumekucha

  
  

• You Have Reason To Be Very Afraid

  Posted: September 29, 2011, 2:47 am by kumekucha

  The Kenya shilling recently crossed the Kshs 100 mark against the dollar, and was still galloping furiously as it did so. Obviously not everybody is an economist and so I will deliberately keep the language simple and jargon-free in this post.
  
  The long and short of it is that you have reason to be afraid… very afraid.
  
  One of the reasons you must be very afraid is that all this is happening before the full effects of the 2012 general elections set in. I will tell you what those will be later in this post. But let me start by saying that I ignored the advice of a friend to start this post by referring to my earlier articles warning of this chaotic situation about 3 months ago. I hate it when somebody tells me “I told you so..” and I am sure others hate it too and so I have not even linked to the set of articles I did then. They are really NOT important now.
  
  This is hardly the time to start looking clever and smart and maybe a prophet of sorts when the country is faced with the worst economic crisis of its’ history. Yes, the worst ever in the history of the republic of Kenya. What a feather on the cap of the Kibaki legacy this is!!!
  
  Let’s just cut to the chase and talk about what Kenyans should now expect.
  
  Clearly we have reached panic mode. What that means is that we should now expect massive capital flight. That means that people will flee from the Kenyan shilling to save their cash and assets from further rapid depreciation. This will further erode the value of the already weak shilling. An exchange rate of Kshs 120 to the dollar is not too far in the horizon now.
  
  This will cripple many businesses that rely on imports. Massive layoffs will follow, and businesses should already be shutting down as you read this.
  
  Looking out of your window now all may seem calm, but be warned, it is the calm before the storm which shall surely come.
  
  Who is to blame? Prof Njuguna Ndungu the governor of the Central Bank who waited too long to do anything, even as analysts screamed at the top of their voices that there was a problem? Personally I don’t think so. The main culprit is President Kibaki who has been the real Finance Minister and the real governor of the Central bank all along. His old school economics has run out of legs in the modern world of sudden upheavals and unprecedented unpredictability and chaos. Clearly a younger less “experienced” man would have done much better for Kenya. This is yet another wake up call to Kenya voters to let all the old men go home to rest and let’s elect younger blood for better or for worse to handle the new world.
  
  What really scares me is that as we head to 2012 I was still expecting plenty of capital flight anyway as many in the monied class relocate to avoid paying for their sins under the new fully implemented constitution. Not to mention money markets that will be jittery as we go into another election when the wounds of the last chaotic one have yet to heal. If things continue the way they are then the shilling will probably be exchanging at Kshs 300 by the time we go to the polls.Kumekucha

  
  

• The Owl of Minerva Flies at Dusk

  Posted: September 23, 2011, 4:43 am by kumekucha

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  On 3rd November, 1997, as the Asian Financial Crisis raged, the Malysian Prime Minister Mahathir Mohammad stated that, “This DELIBERATE DEVALUATION of the currency of a country by currency traders purely for profit is a serious DENIAL of the rights of independent nations.” We summarily, note that, Mahathir, by giving the IMF and the West one way ticket to hell, he managed to save Malaysia as all other Asian Tigers succumbed. Our Vice President, Wiper Kalonzo was in Malaysia a few weeks ago. We hope, he is armed with what Mahathir did. After all, didn’t he go to learn?
  
  Anyway, for today, our message is that, it seems like our 1997 has come. However, let first us recap. Very worried, and without big budget, stuff, bodyguards, cooks, drivers, big names, big offices and beautiful escorts, on 21st April, 2010, we gave a stern warning in these words:
  
  “Let us visit Latvia so as to appreciate what is coming... After the end of Cold War, Latvia and other former Soviet Union republics which HAD NO DEBTS, were “freed” from the “evil Empire.” They were then advised by the West (led by Sachs, he of MDGs in Africa) on how to get rich. One of the ideas they were sold is the financial policy of borrowing in foreign currency for real estate development (speculation) although the income to pay these debts was in domestic currency.Their central banks, just as ours is doing now, would then take these foreign currencies and use to import consumer goods like used women under wears … When this land speculation bubble burst, as it will in Kenya (it need not happen because an attack on our currency will be sufficient), [with such an attack] the only way to support the currency [will be] is by borrowing from foreign official agencies like IMF and the EU. In other words, [we shall] incur external public debts to allow land speculators pay their loans. However, the terms are [will be] extremely destructive to say the least for they will shrink Latvian [Kenyan] economy further because they call for more taxes, sacking of nurses etc. All this is meant to free money to pay foreign creditors. More so, this involves more shift of power from elected leaders to bankers, i.e. modern aristocracy.” This you may read here: [is.gd].

  We are told that, Prophet Jeremiah wore a yoke around his city so to dramatize to his nation the coming Babylonian yoke. His efforts were in vain. As such, having sounded the prophet’s trumpet in vain, now, with a heavy heart for those who must bear the cross, we can only say that, the owl of Minerva flies at dusk for we are now hearing the FIRE FIGHTERS scrambling to tell us that: “Save the shilling by flooding market with dollars so speculators can lose.” Among other stuff, this FIRE FIGHTER tells us that:
  “The shilling is badly undervalued. I do not want to shout fire in a crowded theatre... For most dealers it is still a one-way bet... they have made tonnes of money since the shilling started feeling the pressure several months ago. I am not against speculators. This is what capitalism is all about. But if we allow the currency to fall further, the pressures on the macro economy will soon be overwhelming. … If the International Monetary Fund is serious about helping us out, this is the time to give us the dollars. Speculators engaged in amassing dollars must be made to feel some serious pain. That is the language they understand.... the current negative sentiment on the shilling will not change until some of these punters are made to suffer losses.”
  
  and
  
  “But in markets that are driven by sentiment, it matters much more than assurances by Central Bank.
  The Central Bank of Kenya and the Treasury must realise that if the shilling persists in the present trajectory, the situation may cause a huge political problem for the government. This thing could brew political agitation for the return to exchange controls. That IMF programme they are slavishly applying will not help when the political class starts a loud campaign for the restoration of “the sovereignty of the shilling”. Source: http://is.gd/T7acsu. For other fire fighting stories see here, http://is.gd/0clCke and, here, http://is.gd/Jqzsfq.
  
  Regarding the IMF programme the Central Bank of Kenya is SLAVISHLY APPLYING and its consequences, please, refer to our last easy here: Sinai Tragedy and The Real Tragedy @ http://is.gd/dvloqR. Here, we simply ask, what is going on with our currency and why?
  
  First, a word on what Jaidi Kisero writes. When Kisero says he has nothing against speculators, i.e. the Gnomes of Zurich, we struggle to find out why. Perhaps, such a view emanates from his fundamentally flawed understanding of capitalism. Capitalism emanates from word capital. Capital, in economics, we mean real economics, and not this of Jaidi’s, means nothing, but, labour reduced into some permanent form. In other words, when you have a wheel barrow it is capital for it is an embodiment of previous labour. As such, capitalism, ought to be understood as old labour (such as your wheel barrow) combining with current labour (you) to produce more wealth whereby, some of this wealth will be consumed and some turned into more productive capital. As such, these Gnomes of Zurich have nothing to do with capitalism. Thus, for Jaidi to say this is capitalism amounts to enthroning robbery in the prostituted name of capitalism.
  
  What we are seeing is not a financial crisis as such. It is the anaconda of New Rome, i.e. the American led globalization snake slowly tightening its coils of speculation and plunder around the body of the struggling humanity. Simply stated, it is Economic and Financial WARFARE against the humanity by the OLIGARCHY. This time, there is no need for boots on the ground for they can deploy financial means. In other words, you may have all the army, but, it is useless to defend you in this war which even our army is not aware of. To make matters worse, the role of taxpayers funded army will be reduced to defending the robber’s wealth from their victims. As such, this is part of the global scramble to appropriate wealth/resources such as land, ports etc, as they are artificially cheapened by the Gnomes which allows the oligarchy to snap the same at distress prices. But, how is this game played?
  
  When Jaidi calls for IMF to our rescue, either, he is very naive, he is part of the bloody oligarchy, or, he is just plain cheeky. For instance, he ought to be aware that, in trying to defend their economies, Korea, Indonesia and Thailand were forced to empty their vaults and threw more than $ 100 billion reserves in to the so called market to try and stabilise their currencies. It was in vain. All that happened was that, within months, all this money had been confiscated and transferred into private financial hands. As such, this first step (intensive speculative attacks) is meant to increase the volume of dollar denominated debts. This has already happened in Kenya as we are reading that: “Weakening shilling wreck havoc on Kenya’s debt levels,” @ [is.gd].
  
  This way then, this speculative anaconda has two heads. The first head is the so called private banks, investors, hedge fund hyenas and jackals (Gnomes) which lead the charge by launching speculative attacks. As the nation’s teeters on the brink of economic, social and political chaos, i.e. after successful speculative attacks, the other head, i.e. the IMF comes along with its strong economic voodoo. In other words, as the author of the Art of War would tell us, IMF is engaged in making noise in the east while attacking from the west. As such, these speculative attacks are a means of creating preconditions for subsequent plunder of the productive assets. Let us see what happened in South Korea in 1997.
  
  For purposes of the phony Cold War, South Korea was allowed to industrialise under military dictatorship. However, with the end of phony Cold War, just like the the successor War on Terror, South Korea/Asian Tiger’s time had come to be cut into size. It is under these circumstances, South Korea found itself under the massive anaconda attack, such that, by early December, 1997, it found itself having difficulties servicing its $ 170 billion of foreign debt. To “avert” the crisis brought by the Gnomes, the 2nd head of the anaconda, i.e. the IMF, gave out the largest bailout package of $ 55 billion.
  
  But, what were the conditions attached to this sugar coated poison? It was this. South Korea had to abandon the economic policies which had made it an Asian Tiger after the Korean war such as ability to create credit for its industry. To this, the OLIGARCHIC Financial Times (they say, we live in financial times) celebrated these conditions by telling us that: “the rescue plan was finally agreed when the Korean government GAVE UP A DOGGED STRUGGLE to preserve the MAIN ELEMENTS of of its dirigist economic structures.” Hence forth, as the FT sees it, Korea would be subjected to “yield to investor discipline” (predators) and not “state directives.” In other words, South Korea was bailed out on the condition it impoverishes its people. Here is the clue. South Korea was not industrialised by so called markets as they tell the Africans.
  
  The Koreans did not give up easily. They mightily struggled to resist these satanic demands. However, they found themselves with only $ 6 billion cash in hand against $ 150 billion in international obligations which were coming due within a five days. This meant that, Korea was close to default despite the fact that its industrial plants were the most modern and its labour was the most skilled in the entire world. In other words, in the world of this anaconda, fundamentals do not count. The problem was that, if Korea defaulted, it would have been unable to import oil which it relies on to fire its oil fired plants for 90% of its electricity. As such, Korea was just weeks away from social, economic and political chaos of unprecedented scale. Thus, the Korean people had to chose between economic, social and political chaos in darkness, or, submit to the anaconda. In other words, your wallet or the bullet style. And, so, they did and it became the first developed nation to receive the 3rd world bitter medicine.
  
  Essentially, South Korea was forced by the Gnomes and the IMF to derogate its economic sovereignty and thereby, establishing what Africa has always had, a de facto colonial administration under a DEMOCRATICALLY elected president. Under this de facto colonial administration,real wages were depressed, there was massive unemployment, standards of living went south. AT the same time, the IMF money never reached Korea for it went to service the Western and Japanese financial institutions which had earlier speculated against the Korean currency, i.e. the won. More so, the Korean central bank was massively reorganised and brought under the supervision of the Wall Street and the IMF. At least for us Kenyans,, this is not an issue for our central bank is already owned by these jackals.
  
  You see, under such attacks, the stocks melted, there were chains of bankruptcies affecting both financial and industrial sector. It also, led to sharp rise in prices of necessities. Under these distress conditions, some Korean banks be made attractive to the same Gnomes by transferring non - performing to the public, the automotive group KIA went burst. Also, Halla Group involved in ship building, engineering and auto parts also went down. Also, the IMF, acting on behalf of the Gnomes, demanded dismantling of the Daewoo Group. All this, brought the Korean motor industry into crisis which ended in mass layoffs and bankruptcies. And, they were not done. The creditors of Korea’s largest business empire, Hyundai demanded its break up with the Gnomes taking the profitable parts in car and shipping unit.
  
  In other words, the IMF mission was nothing, but, bankruptcy of the Korean economy. Having taken over the central bank, it could not rescue troubled enterprises or banks. This, also, crippled the building and the service economy for how do you give loans when the central bank is draining money from the economy? This is exactly what Prof. Njuguna is doing right now. However, amidst all this social and economic turmoil, the Wall Street was on a shopping spree. For instance, the Hanwha Group was selling its oil refineries to Royal Dutch/Shell, having sold the other half to BASF of Germany. Also, for just $ 454 million, which was never delivered, the Korea First Bank sold 51% to a California based entity and thereby, gaining control of the oldest Korean bank with 5000 workers for nothing. In fact, the Korean people were forced to pump 35 times more more money than these jackals had promised under the contracts forced by the IMF.
  
  Now, the details of this broad day light robbery are complicated and long. As such, we cannot detail much of what really happened and what happens. What we hope we have done is to show exactly what is the objective of these speculations and what will be the deal when the other head of the anaconda appears.
  
  In conclusion, we only warn thee of this. From ancient times to today, the logic of any empire is to promote growth and well being in the center and not the periphery, i.e. the whole empire. In this way then, one cannot but, fail to sympathise with a sharp minded Roman Historian who described the Roman Empire’s policy as solitudinem faciunt pacem appellant, i,e. “They have made a wilderness and call it peace.” By adopting the RENTIER economy, the Roman OLIGARCHY forced tax burdens on the productive class which led to debt foreclosures, depopulation, deepening dependency which settled into serfdom. Today, they call this AUSTERITY measures. Verily, verily we say, if these American policies go on like this, we foresee a very dark future ahead for humanity. Kumekucha

  
  

• Grenade Threat at Prime Minister’s Office Raises Fearful Questions

  Posted: September 20, 2011, 1:34 am by kumekucha

  Who Wants To Kill Raila?
  
  For the second time in the history of Kenya the life of a member of the executive has been put under serious threat.
  
  Admittedly Kenya is not Liberia where a sitting head of State (former President Samuel Doe) was captured alive, tortured for hours while some sick mind captured it all on video, and then when he was dead, his body was paraded stark naked on a stretcher for all to see.
  Still we have come pretty close. In 1982 during the botched coup attempt it is said that former president Moi ‘waited for certain death in the hands of the rebels’ in his Kabarak home. So prepared was he that when a contingent of the Kenya army came to fetch him to return him to Nairobi, he refused to budge urging the soldiers to kill him there rather than take him somewhere else. Several attempts to tell the head of state that these were soldiers loyal to him failed. And so he had to be gently slapped out of his stupor, so the story goes.
  
  Yesterday morning a hand grenade was discovered within the precincts of the Prime Minister’s office. He was quickly whisked off alongside Chief Justice Willy Mutunga whom he was having a meeting with at the time.
  
  This is very alarming news… or is it?
  
  It is not lost on political analysts that this is the kind of event that spin strategists thrive on to increase the popularity of their candidate. People who survive assassination attempts almost always go on to win elections.
  
  But the grenade scare on Raila is not that simple. There is the fact that experts on these matters have told this blogger that this cannot be classified as a serious attempt on the PM’s life. Assassinations are usually well planned operations with a clear target and nothing is ever left to chance. Leaving a grenade hanging around obviously does not fit into this category. Had it gone off, chances that it would have harmed the PM are very remote. And so if it was planted by his enemies then it was a message rather a serious attempt on his life.
  
  The message would be; we can get you, we can easily penetrate your security. It would be a threat requiring the target to bow down to the demands of those issuing the threat. But what kind of political demands would be placed on the door-step of a powerless PM who relies on the president for all his teeth?
  
  That is the million shilling question that this blogger is asking around.
  
  Meanwhile this grenade incident is a rude reminder that the nation of Kenya is in the throes of a deadly transition where the merchants of impunity will not give up without a fight because the stakes are way too high.Kumekucha

  
  

• Sinai Tragedy and the Real Tragedy

  Posted: September 18, 2011, 2:41 pm by kumekucha

  By Mwarangethe
  
  They say that, a picture is worthy a thousand words. As concerns the on going Sinai Tragedy, nothing proves this than the faces of Ms Rose Nafula and Mr Henry Osumba courtesy of the Daily Nation shown here: http://is.gd/J73oHH. However, in our view, the real tragedy lies in the incapacity of Kenyans to understand the meaning of human events such as Sinai tragedy. We add, it was the purpose of the new constitution to remove the real causes of these tragedies, but, that chance has been lost. We sample a few reactions to illustrate this incapacity. The first to react was Mutuma Mathiu who wrote that: “Negligent and failed leadership has allowed the tragedy that is Sinai,” available at http://is.gd/3uJAzo. Among other stuff, he told
  us that:
  
  “... When all Kenyans go to bed tonight, little children, possibly the same age as the ones you have in your house, will be laying down their little heads in their hovels at Sinai... The main difference is that only a few feet away will be coursing 500,000 litres of petrol an hour. The little children of Sinai live atop a bomb. Why are people living like this? They are dehumanised by poverty and forced to take risks. There is also the possibility that they are not very bright. In Kenya, someone strings together pieces of paper and mud and claims to have built a house. Many of the people who wallow in filth in the slums come from the countryside where they have a piece of land, a decent house, and a toilet.”
  
  Having described the situation, his solution was simple.
  
  “Our leaders should find the courage to evict all those who live in slums — provide alternative housing, by all means, if you can — and end this indignity. It is immoral, it is cowardly, it is wrong to allow human beings to live the way the people of Sinai live.”
  
  In other words, according to Mutuma Mathiu, the Kenyan leaders should show leadership by evicting the slum dwellers Muoroto style. How to organise the logistics of such eviction and make sure these guys stay and die in rural areas away from our eyes, he does not venture to tell us. More so, what made them leave their rural areas, he ventures not to discuss. Also, he suggests that, we should handle over more of our labour to the mp’s like Waititu, he of Embakasi MP, so as to build
  decent houses. Just see Waititu in action: http://is.gd/mu70j1. Mutuma seems not to grasp that, it is humanely impossible to have decent houses under our current land tenure system. It cannot be done and shall not be done.
  
  The other person to pen his views was Murithi Mutiga who wrote that: “Disaster offered a snapshot of all you need to know about slum life,” available at http://is.gd/SJ6M3C. Referring to the government officials who went to witness the colossal waste of human life, Mutiga writes that:
  
  “...the authorities saw little problem with these discontents of the city suffering indignity in death, as they had in life.... senior government officials, sirens ablaze, soon arrived at the scene... appeared shocked by the grim evidence of the disaster. The real question is whether they will be moved into addressing the awful
  conditions in which the city’s poor live or whether they will wait around for the next call alerting them to tragedy. Sinai slum, like many other such slums, exists in an alternative universe where the writ of government does not extend.”
  
  The third person to pen his views was Gitau Warigi who wrote: “Believe me! Apartheid has lessons for Kenya on preventing slum tragedies,” available @ http://is.gd/lVDw5Q. According to Warigi, we should copy the apartheid system for as he tells us:
  
  “The immorality of the policy aside — which was applied purely on race irrespective of whether a black person could afford to live in Sandton or Constantia — there is something to be said about building satellite towns to house the urban poor away from the inevitable inner-city squalor.”
  
  If this is how journalists reacted to the event, we waited to read Mr Kituyi’s article, in our expectation that, being a sociologist he would breathe some proper perspective. What a disappointment for he writes: “Why are we so fatalistic as to risk death in quest for free things?” This you can find @ http://is.gd/WGI4tr. His headline alone tells us all we need to know. He forgets that, human events are half
  understood or are distorted, if one stops with their superficial appearance. A true sociologist must not be satisfied with loose external relationships of individual events. He must proceed to the center of things from which their true nexus can be understood.
  
  By this we mean, he must not tear the individual occurrences OUT OF THEIR TOTAL CONTEXT, and thereby, put petty commotions of personal motives in the place of universal destiny. This requires a man like Kituyi to render strict account of the inner nexus of human events so as to establish the ACTIVE FORCES or the LAW OF NECESSITY, so as to recognise their trends at a given moment, inquire into the
  relationship of the active forces and trends to the existing state of affairs and to changes that have preceded it. If he did this, he would come to the mature realisation that, as such, even the will of man, which seems free, is determined by circumstances established long before a man’s birth and even before the growth of the nation he may belong to.
  
  With due respect to the authors of these essays, it seems to us that, like most Kenyans/Africans, they are yet to grasp the real meaning of this tragedy, past ones and many others to come. This is the deal. The Sinai tragedy is but, the logical outcome of our IMF and WB imposed neo - feudal economic structure on Africa. As such, without revolutionary re-organisation of our economic system, not even the Divine powers can save the Kenyan situation from complete destruction.
  
  The Kenyan economy, as is those of other Southern Hemisphere, have been locked by the economic warfare strategy of the IMF and the WB into social and economic backwardness. So locked, Kenya like the rest of Africa has no choice but, to desperately bring in a lot of the USELESS papers they call dollars. This, we do via a number of routes: (a) via the IMF “loans” which Kibaki just asked for last week
  (http://is.gd/ewKQd7), just as we predicted last year (http://is.gd/2x1lk0); (b) via export of cheap agricultural products such as coffee and tea; (c ) via tourism; (d) via remittances by Kenyans in the Diaspora and (e) export of slave - wage consumer
  products from our slave enclaves, otherwise known as the Export Promotion Zones (EPZ’s). All these means of obtaining these USELESS dollars are evil and can only lead to tragedy such as Sinai and no amount of human leadership can avert it. One may ask, how so? We explain below.
  
  Last year, when Kenyans were excited like little children by their USELESS new constitution to notice anything else, we cautioned that, in conjunction with the IMF, the government of Kenya was falsifying the inflation rates. We wrote this: EPZs and Modern Slavery: Who Shall Tell Wanjiku the Ugly Truth - Part I. Among other things, we wrote that:
  
  “So by Kibaki, Raila, Kalonzo, Uhuru, Muslia making inflation seem low when it is not in reality, the Wanjiku's wages can be suppressed further down "scientifically." With suppression of Wanjiku's income a mission accomplished, it is time to invite the foreign infestors into this paradise where Hakuna Matata, with their free dollars from the FED into our EPZ's. …. If you doubt these "leaders" commitments to
  this ECONOMIC GENOCIDE you need to read this: "Kenya to roll out special trade zones in six months". The word special here means two things. No tax for foreign infestors and even lower wages for Wanjiku.
  
  In other words, more exploitative trade zones in a casino state.” All this you can read at: http://is.gd/CvVW4D.
  
  The point is this. Given the IMF and World Bank imposed economic structure, Kenya must export cheap manufactured stuff. And, since we are in a global economy which is geared to produce more poverty, than wealth, there is only one way of ensuing we export more. This way is to lower the wages of the poor Kenyans who work in these export oriented industries to slave wages. So, the slave wages is what we must offer the Sinai residents so as to compete and get the USELESS dollars. If this is the real situation, do we expect the EPZ slaves to live in Karen or on top of gas pipes? In other words, they do not live in these places because they like it. It is because they have no purchasing power to afford better houses. In fact, our plans are to lower even further their purchasing power which means, they must sink into worse conditions. We explored this matter in: How To Fool and Enslave Africans @ http://is.gd/XwVkWX.
  
  As if slave wages was not enough, another policy pursued by the Kenyan government is to weaken the Kenyan shilling. According to the high priests who who dominate the IMF and the World Bank and who call the shorts in Kenya, a weak shilling is good because to makes us competitive. If there is one who can sell the “benefits” of a weak shilling, it is Jimna Mbaru, a member of the IMF, WB sponsored OLIGARCHY (Trojan horse), as we hear him here from 8.13 @ http://is.gd/lCzFVZ.
  
  Thus, according to Mbaru and his grossly mis - educated fellows running the Kenyan affairs, a weak shilling is good for it will make our economy even more export oriented, as he puts it, the business people will see more opportunities outside Kenyan than they will see in Kenya with a weak shilling, it will help the agricultural sector, it will spur the tourism sector and such silly jazz.
  
  So, what is Mr Mbaru really saying on our national TV and how does what he says has to do with Sinai tragedy and the others to come? When Mbaru says that the Kenyan businesses will find more opportunities abroad than locally, he is saying that, we MUST REDUCE THE KENYAN’S PURCHASING POWER. This is equivalent to saying, LET US INCREASE THE RESIDENTS OF SINAI for it is obvious, or, ought to be, even to an idiot that, by reducing the purchasing power of our poor people, we can only increase our slums and the social degradation which goes with it. This is said on the national TV! By so so doing, this is supposed to leave more output available for export TO PAY FOREIGN CREDITORS.
  
  More so, what Mr Mbaru and such mis - educated Africans do not grasp is this. When we devalue our currency, it is the PRICE OF LABOUR of the RESIDENTS OF SINAI we devalue even further. This is so because, the price of raw materials and capital goods are dollarised as well as our FOREIGN DEBTS. As such, the effects of such devaluation as preached by Mr Mbaru is to make exports cheaper, i.e. subsidise the
  lives of the rich, while making imports such as food even more expensive for the Sinai residents as each DOLLAR OF EXPORTS BUYS FEWER and FEWER IMPORTS.
  
  In terms of our foreign denominated debts, such devaluation must mean that, we must provide more and more of our coffee and cheap consumer goods for each unit of foreign debt. All this, further impairs our terms of trade while increasing the debt burden in terms of our domestic currency. This means we can never work our way out of the debts. This means that, our debts are rolled over which makes us sink further into the crutches of the IMF and WB vampire. To sink into the arms of these blood vampires is simply to enlarge Sinai slums and wait for more tragedies.
  
  Therefore, as we ponder over this tragedy, let us remember this. If we get the IMF “loans” to try and prevent further collapse of our currency, and therefore, prevent the collapse of the so called middle class living standards most readers of this blog enjoy, the repayment of these dollars must come from the FURTHER IMPOVERISHMENT and DEHUMANISATION of the residents of Sinai. As such, if you carefully examined the foundation of our so called prosperity/civilization you will find therein, the bones of the Sinai residents playing the role of the stones, their flesh playing the role of the mortar and their blood playing the role of the water for joining the stones and the mortar. This being the case then, bear this in mind:
  
  In our research to understand these conditions we find ourselves in, we have visited Tombs of almost all dead States and civilizations. In all these tombs, we have found stern warnings for those who would listen in that, all these States built their vast civilization superstructures on the foundations of involuntary and degraded toil.
  
  Just as an example, on the Babylonian tomb, we found this:
  
  1. Babylon was great. She used science, art and architecture, but, she abused humanity.
  
  2. she invented SUNDIALS , i.e. a device for measuring time by the position of the sun, but, forgot to regulate with justice the hours of labour.
  
  3. she could calculate the a star’s eclipse, but, not her own.
  
  4. No state has been more guilty of the waste of human life and therefore, a her history is a warning to all nations.
  
  5. Therefore, it is dangerous and foolish in the extreme, to copy the example of a nation whose crimes, towering up to heaven, was thrown down by the breath of the Almighty, burying that nation in irrevocable ruin!Kumekucha

  
  

• So you Think Ruto Is Winning At The Hague?

  Posted: September 15, 2011, 6:46 am by kumekucha

  My information on the ground is that there has been plenty of anxiety from Kenyans following the proceedings at the Hague last week with many feeling that the possibility of the charges being confirmed and going to trial for Eldoret North MP William Ruto were pretty slim.
  
  Legal experts are of course of a different opinion. What wins or loses cases is solid evidence and not articulate lawyers playing to the gallery and what Bwana Ocampo has on Ruto specifically is water tight.
  
  Sources on the ground tell this blogger that Uhuru Kenyatta is a very worried man and is looking to use the opportunity his legal team has had of analyzing the other cases before it is the turn of their client to take to the dock, to come up with a legal strategy that will win the day. Again this is bound to be an uphill task for the son of Jomo who seems fairly sure that he can easily be the next president of Kenya in 2012 if this annoying Hague thing can go away.
  
  All in all what should be of great interest to Kenyans are the revelations that will come out when and if these matters proceed to a full trial. Some of the bombshells will make the oath-taking look like real kindergarten stuff.Kumekucha

  
  

• There Is A Mzungu At Wako's Office

  Posted: September 8, 2011, 7:16 pm by kumekucha

  By Mwarangethe
  
  To the ardent Kumekucha readers, our well articulated opposition to the so called new constitution is well known. For instance, we have consistently maintained that, the devolution deal was a farce which will only increase taxation on the poor Kenyans. Many did not understand our stand, but, we are about to be vindicated. Sample this. On 16th August, 2011, it was reported in the Standard that, “Kibaki, Raila fail to resolve county funding row.” The issue is (a) whether counties should share only the money collected by the KRA, or, (b) counties should share all revenues irrespective of the source. Musalia and his friends are in (b) while Mr Kenyatta and his friends are in (a). Just know that, this a good and bad cop play, i.e. a charade.
  
  Before we embark on our main issue, we only observe that, Kenyans attitude toward devolution reveals something very disturbing. For instance, we are taught by the historians that, as the Athenians got mired in their DECADENCE, having destroyed its FREE LABOUR/MIDDLE CLASS with SERVILE LABOUR, there arose a communistic view that, the State’s revenue existed only to be divided. Dear reader, we are there. Leaving aside our decadent ideas on devolution, today, we are interested in this statement:
  
  

  “Another source close to one of the principals said more suspicion emerged from the meeting after it was revealed Attorney General Amos Wako’s office was already harmonising the Bills. "I understand there is a mzungu (white man) drafter in his office who is to harmonise the two Bills," said the source. He revealed that the drafter had sent a copy of the working draft to the task force, which was currently scrutinising it. "Why somebody was quietly working on the Bills in Wako’s office while the ministers bicker, nobody knows.” Source: http://is.gd/WIokig.

  
  

  We also, urge the reader to read these two stories: “Stop postponing difficult decisions to make county governments reality,” by Jaidi Kisero of the DN at [is.gd] and, “Lobbies: Ministries frustrating devolution” at [is.gd].

  
  

  If you ask the high priests about this mysterious Mzungu, you will be told that, he is part of the donor led technical assistance in the implementation of the new Constitution. We add, all this, at your expense. However, this is a lie. The question then is, what does the presence of this Mzungu at the Attorney General’s office at this hour tell us? And, more so, is, there something analysts like Jaidi Kisero are missing in their analysis?

  
  

  This is the deal. Since the American Revolution, it has been asserted that, a democracy cannot wage war or run successful foreign policy/an empire if it has to compete with other centralised and non - Democratic nations. In support of this view, it has been argued that it is not possible to entrust the legislative branch with sensitive foreign policy negotiations as well as military commitments which require great secrecy and objectivity. As such, it has been maintained that, the foreign policy issues must be left to the executive branches which alone are endowed with Solomon like wisdom.

  
  

  The implications of this is that, if imperial nations like the USA, UK, Germany, Japan, etc were to become real democracies, they must forego their foreign policy and military commitments. In other words, all imperial nations have a choice to make. Either, their global strategy must become inward looking and isolationist, or, they must centralise their political structures in relation to foreign policy and military engagements.

  
  

  This centralised political structure in respect to foreign policy and military commitments does not just exclude the legislative branch. It also, excludes the judicial arm from foreign policy and military engagements whether legal or illegal. It is from this perspective, the USA's courts and lawyers as usual, playing their hidden role in Empire construction gave birth to a weird doctrine called Act of State Doctrine. The fact is that, this doctrine is not founded in the American Constitution or the law of nations does not matter to these honourable courts. So much for the so called courts of justice. Under this doctrine, should foreign policy acts of the executive be challenged in the American courts, the executive has the veto whether such a case should go ahead or not. To cite just one recent example, the USA Emperor, Nero Hoover Obama, went to war in Libya in clear and blatant violation of Article 1, s. 8, Clause 11 of the USA Constitution which requires the Congress to declare war and nothing can be done about it. Talk of impunity!

  
  

  Now, when we come to the so called 3rd world, we find these nations to have no foreign policy of any shape or colour. And, if they appear to have one, it is just being a hand boy for the imperial nations. However, when it comes to their domestic policies, all we find are very centralised sterile bureaucratic political systems. Dear reader, contrary to the clap trap you hear about who dismantled the Lancaster Constitution to create an imperial presidency, the truth is this.

  
  

  The imperial nations using their centralised foreign policy and military commitments, i.e. covert and overt missions in 3rd world, ensure the creation of centralised, i.e. imperial presidencies in the 3rd world. As such, any move towards genuine decentralisation of power must be sabotaged. It is in this light, you must therefore, understand: (a) the emergence of an imperial presidency under Kenyatta/Mboya State and (b) the current role of the Mzungu who is “harmonising” the two bills in the Attorney General’s office. In other words, as they distract you with the ICC nonsense, they are fastening a dictatorship on you and your children’s head.

  
  

  To fully appreciate this game, one must be aware of what foreign policy means to imperial nations. Foreign policy to the imperial nations such as the USA or the UK, is an extension of their domestic economic development and interests. For instance, British used their mercantilism as a strategy to promote domestic profits, hence sales and employment while thwarting foreign competitors at home and colonial markets. However, when the same Britain acquired its massive industrial capacity, it turned around and called for free trade. This time, its aim was to feed its British labourers and provide cheap grain and other raw materials to its industries. Using the reciprocity requirement, then, Britain forced all other nations to open their borders to its manufacturers which made it the “workshop of the world.”

  
  

  In other words, the material prosperity and freedom in the industrial imperial nations to a greater extent is anchored on the centralised/imperial presidencies of 3rd world nations. As such, the 3rd world imperial presidencies are an imperial necessity to ensure maintenance of the status quo, i.e. crippling poverty which these empires require. This way, then, the purpose of imperial presidencies in 3rd world is:

  
  

  (a) to enslave us with with debts for export infrastructure like the South Sudan-Lamu Railway which will facilitate export of cheap raw materials from South Sudan; (b), to ensure supply of servile labour for the labour intensive and cheap products from our Export Promotion Zones; (c) , to ensure availability of plantation products like rubber, cocoa, coffee etc; (d) to collect peonage debts incurred to build export infrastructure; and when this fails as is expected, (e) to alienate natural monopolies like Mombasa port, Kenya Telkom, Railways etc and thereby, enslave us again.

  
  

  Thus, the centralised and corrupt governance systems in the ex - colonial nations you witness are not accidents as your teacher may have fooled you. What you have to know is this. If imperial nations allowed full and meaningful devolution, some regions would use innovative economic strategies to industrialise their regions. As would be expected, other regions and nations would copy. Such an example must never be allowed. It is in this light, the presence of a Mzungu at the Wako’s office at this hour must be understood. You may have removed Wako and put in Professor Githu Muigai, but, verily, verily we tell you, it is in vain.

  
  

  The only saving grace now is this. You are now watching live how this deadly game is played. Enjoy it.

  Kumekucha

  
  

• ICC Kenyan Cases Analysis That Kumekucha Does Not Want To Make

  Posted: September 4, 2011, 8:29 am by kumekucha

  I can still remember an incident that took place when I was barely 4 years old. It is still as clear as day to me, like it happened just yesterday. I think part of the reason is that my mother was involved. She was actually being beaten up.
  I cringe when I think about all those youngsters who witnessed much worse. Their mothers being raped and then killed. You lie if you insist that they will quickly forget when they grow up. You lie when you claim that it all depends on how they are brought up and that if they find upbringing full of love, they will live in better times. You lie because I know how it feels.
  
  This is one of the reasons why I have been listening to the ongoing confirmation hearings at the Hague with a lot of bitterness in my heart. And it is the reason why I have resisted making any commentary about them because my posts will almost certainly be biased. More so because of some of the information I have that is not in the public domain.
  
  The situation is made worse by the line of defense that is being taken by the accused persons. This very serious matter is being reduced to an extension of the political battles currently going on ahead of 2012. That makes me want to throw up because it is happening at a time when some Kalenjin individuals are occupying land that does not belong to them. The land belongs to people whom some of them murdered and raped. The real owners of the land who survived are wandering around with no fixed abode in their own country. And yet no court in the land has prosecuted a single person in connection to this gross injustice. Naturally this is not the kind of thing to joke about or make light of. Or turn into some political game plan for 2012.
  
  And that is the reason why this is a post to urge my readers to allow me to remain silent on what is unfolding at the ICC. I assure you all that there will be plenty of drama and shocking revelations so much so that my input in the matter will not be missed.
  
  But before I pen off I would like to make three observations.
  
  Firstly about the bombshell this past week where the prosecution has alleged that William Ruto recruited retired army commanders Augustine Cheruiyot and John Koech and former GSU boss Samson Cheramboss to plan and help execute attacks in the 2008 troubles.
  
  This is consistent with previous so-called tribal clashes in the area. Kenyans with longer memories will understand that it was one retired President Daniel arap Moi who invented tribal clashes. This is the man who laid the ground for what happened in 2008 because tensions have always been high in the Rift Valley since the advent of multi-party democracy in 1991. Moi always used personalities from the military that he could trust to execute the attacks. I shall not mention names but there was a very famous army officer who was killed in the Rift Valley in the 1990s and it was simply a revenge attack by relatives of those he had organized to kill on behalf of Moi.
  
  Secondly the line being taken by the defense lawyers to weaken the prosecution case by claiming that others are guiltier than the accused persons is bound to fail for one simple reason. Those at the Hague are the ones deemed most responsible and it is not the mandate of the ICC to round up all the people responsible.
  
  Lastly William Ruto cell phone calls during the troubles of 2008 were intercepted by local spooks and the NSIS has conclusive evidence of his involvement. I doubt whether this material will ever be made available to the prosecutors at the Hague but am informed that some related evidence may come through in the course of the trial (assuming that the hearings proceed to a full trial).
  
  Really interesting times ahead folks.Kumekucha

  
  

• The Scary Truth About Mungiki That Won't Go Away

  Posted: September 1, 2011, 12:12 pm by kumekucha

  There are few things that are as dangerous as splinter groups of a terror organization.
  
  Latest information reaching this blogger indicate that there is mounting evidence that we do in fact have splinter groups of the dreaded Mungiki beginning to emerge in certain parts of the country predictably ahead of the 2012 elections. I will talk about this alarming development in later posts. For now what alarms me most is the ignorance displayed by many of my readers on the exact nature of Mungiki. I have therefore found it necessary to post the Wikileaks below.
  Subject: Mungiki: Kenya's Largest Criminal Organization
  
  Created: 2007-05-24 07:41
  
  Origin: Embassy Nairobi
  
  Ref: 06 NAIROBI 5282
  
  ¶1. (SBU) Summary: The Mungiki, a large criminal organization operating within the Kikuyu community, has a network of supporters within the government bureaucracy and political
  leadership. It's use of extreme violence to amplify its influence through terror and its parallel government weakens the authority of the Kenyan state. The Government's professed desire to eradicate the Mungiki is hampered by the organization's political and official connections. Combating Mungiki requires more than merely mass arrests of alleged members. Targeting Mungiki leadership is likely to produce better results, but requires confronting its supporters
  within the ranks of Kenya's governing class. End Summary.
  
  From Tent of the Living God to Organized Crime
  --------------------------------------------- -
  
  ¶2. (SBU) The Mungiki criminal organization has its origins in an offshoot of a small religious sect among the Kikuyu community. Around 1989 a group of younger members split off from the Tent of the Living God, a religious sect operating in Kikuyu-dominated regions of Central and Rift Valley provinces that calls for a rejection of Christianity and Western culture in favor of a return to traditional Kikuyu beliefs and culture. The group broke from Tent of the Living God when the Tent's charismatic leader appeared to be moderating his views in order to win acceptance by Kikuyu elites. The group adopted the name "Mungiki," meaning "the masses."
  
  Ndura Waruinge (see reftel), then about 18 years old, emerged as the Mungiki leader. Waruinge is the grandson of a notable Mau Mau leader during the revolt against the British colonial administration in the 1950s. Under Waruinge's leadership, the group took on Mau Mau trappings (such as oathing rituals, the dreadlock hairstyle, etc.) and an increasingly political orientation.
  
  ¶3. (SBU) Like the Mau Mau before them, the Mungiki preach Kikuyu nationalism, not Kenyan nationalism. They identify rhetorically with the "poor and oppressed" against the elites
  and the Kenyan state. They often proclaimed in their early years that the task of the Mungiki was to complete the work of the Mau Mau by "cleansing" Kikuyu culture of Western
  influence and freeing the state from the grip of corrupt elites serving foreign masters.
  
  ¶4. (SBU) The Mungiki grew rapidly during the 1990s, a time of severe political turbulence and violence surrounding the movement to restore multiparty democracy to Kenya. The Moi
  regime instigated ethnic violence against Kikuyu communities in Rift Valley Province through private ethnic militias-for-hire in 1992 and then again in 1997.
  
  Radicalized and dispossessed Kikuyu youth who had seen their communities burned to the ground during these attacks flocked to Mungiki for protection and vengeance. Many of these new members, recently having lost their rural homes, relocated to Nairobi slums, especially the Kikuyu-dominated slum of Mathare, which became a Mungiki stronghold.
  
  ¶5. (SBU) While many Mungiki followers in rural areas retained a religious and cultural orientation, throughout the 90's, in Nairobi, Nakuru and the principal towns of Central Province
  (the Kikuyu heartland), the Mungiki increasingly emphasized radical subversive political rhetoric and adopted a military style organization. The Mungiki became less a militant religious sect and more an urban political militia and criminal gang. Initiates answer to captains who take orders
  from local coordinators who in turn serve under national coordinators. Members only know the identity of those in their cell and the captain supervising their cell. Immediate compliance with orders from above is required from all members. Once having taken the initiation oath, members cannot leave the organization. Betrayal of Mungiki is punishable by death.
  
  ¶6. (SBU) Urban Mungiki in the mid-1990s became involved in vigilante activity to "protect" Kikuyu slum dwellers. This led to the development of protection rackets first in the slums and housing estates and then on public transport routes. The Mungiki fought successfully for protection turf against smaller traditional extortion gangs, ostensibly in the name of reducing rents and fares for the common man. They also came into increasing conflict with the police.
  
  ¶7. (SBU) By the late 1990s, as the Mungiki grew in numbers and wealth, they attracted the attention of political and business leaders in the Kikuyu community. The Mungiki hired out their services to Kikuyu politicians (both ruling and opposition parties) and business leaders (mostly landlords) as enforcers and intimidators. Many members, especially those directly involved in "fund raising," took on a less conspicuous look, shaving their dreadlocks in an attempt to maintain a lower public profile. By 2000 the Mungiki had recruited or infiltrated significant numbers of members and sympathizers within the ranks of the police and state bureaucracy.
  
  ¶8. (SBU) In March 2002 a force of about 250 Mungiki attacked the Kariobangi North housing estate in Nairobi, killing 20 residents and maiming over 30. Their particular targets were members of the rival "Taliban" gang, which is made up of members of the Luo ethnic group, but common residents of the estate were also attacked. Following this incident, which the press reported was preceded by numerous warnings to the police, all unacted on, the Moi government banned 18 "vigilante groups," including the Mungiki. Both Taliban and Mungiki leaders were arrested. The Taliban leader was subsequently charged.
  
  The Mungiki leader, Waruinge, was released without charge. Waruinge called on Mungiki
  followers to support Moi's KANU and its Kikuyu presidential candidate, Uhuru Kenyatta, even though many Mungiki were the victims of Moi-directed communal violence only five years
  earlier.
  
  Mungiki Ideology, Aims and Practices
  ------------------------------------
  
  ¶9. (SBU) Mungiki ideology is often contradictory, opportunistic and incoherent, but it contains a powerful appeal to Kikuyu youth in the slums who feel alienated from the Kenyan state and mainstream Kenyan society. Mungiki theology calls for a return to the worship of Ngai, the
  Kikuyu god resident on Kirinyaga (Mount Kenya). It vociferously rejects Christianity as an alien import responsible for holding the Kikuyu in "mental slavery" to "the West." And yet, Mungiki rhetoric is full of images and verse citations from the Old Testament meant to justify Mungiki actions and beliefs.
  
  ¶10. (SBU) The Mungiki political agenda is confused, but essentially calls for ethnic federalism in which all Kikuyu-inhabited areas will be united under the authority of the elders, the pre-colonial Kikuyu political system. This "Kikuyu state" may or may not be affiliated with similar ethnic states for Kenya's other communities. The political agenda is short on specifics and long on scathing critiques of the Kenyan state and the traditional elite it is held to serve at the expense of the common man in general and Kikuyu youth in particular.
  
  ¶11. (SBU) Mungiki arose in the context of the Moi administration's explicitly anti-Kikuyu policies. The fact that Kenya is now led by a Kikuyu-dominated government has taken some of the wind out of the sails of Mungiki's resentment-laden political rhetoric. That rhetoric has less
  relevancy today as Mungiki de-emphasizes religious, cultural and political purposes and now acts purely as a criminal organization existing only for the financial benefit of its leadership and members. Religious and political themes are used as a means of binding members to Mungiki identity, but do not appear to represent a sincere religious, cultural or political program.
  
  ¶12. (SBU) Multiple press reports refer to the Mungiki 12 Commandments. These commandments are illustrative of the Mungiki ethos, its military-style organization and modus
  operandi. Several recent incidents of Mungiki violence reflect this code:
  
  -- You shall not smoke cigarettes, take frothed beer, wines and spirits but instead take traditional brew. That liquor remains prohibited to all unmarried but snuff is allowed to all, male and female members.
  
  -- It is an abomination to be an uncircumcised Kikuyu male or female. (NOTE: Mungiki are infamous for forcible female genital mutilation. END NOTE.)
  
  -- Never rape or defile or make love to a woman who is not your wife.
  
  -- Never let any member be persecuted, humiliated or be taken hostage by any force, no matter how powerful that enemy is. Always fight back and if overwhelmed, retreat and seek reinforcement.
  
  -- Any life of our member taken by an aggressor, or any of our property destroyed by that aggressor shall be avenged. Revenge at all times will be tenfold. In this, we are all bound by the sacred blood of our veins through an oath.
  
  -- Enemies are traitors, deserters and any force that confronts us. Traitors are members who betray us, deserters being those who abandon our cause. Their punishment shall be death by beheading and their heads shall be dumped where they can be found as a testimony but their torsos should never be found. (NOTE: Several recent suspected Mungiki murders have observed this protocol. END NOTE.)
  
  -- Sect's secrets shall not be discussed with non-members. Any member who contravenes this shall be punished severely.
  
  -- All times observe peace, spreading our doctrine to our brothers and sisters, recruiting many to our cause and binding them through administration of the oath.
  
  -- Always endeavor to raise resources to fund any of our calling and all our regional coordinators must at all times be on the lookout and utilize those avenues that will generate resources.
  
  -- There shall be a set target for all regional coordinators, besides the resources that will be kept for sharing out by the unemployed members.
  
  -- All our efforts shall be the recovery of our lost lands, the land of our forefathers where there was no hunger since water, milk, honey and meat were in abundance.
  
  -- The sect's trademarks shall at all times be a club and a sword to clobber and slay its identified enemies.
  
  -- All members shall at all times be at the ready, to be called at short notice to timely execute directives as shall be communicated to members through their respective regional leaders.
  
  -- The hierarchy of the cause's command shall at all times be respected and the decision and resolutions of the national council shall be final and non negotiable, to be executed without question.
  
  The Mungiki Today: Kenya's Largest Criminal Organization
  --------------------------------------------- -----------
  
  ¶13. (SBU) The Mungiki today are a large criminal organization with a network of supporters within the government bureaucracy and political leadership. It uses extreme violence to amplify its influence through terror. Some of the academic literature on the Mungiki paint its members as harmless rastafarians with a thirst for social justice. If this was ever the case, it certainly is not now. They are vicious, sadistic killers. Kenyan newspapers up until recently routinely referred to the Mungiki as a "banned sect," emphasizing its roots as an unorthodox religious
  group. These same newspapers, quite appropriately, now refer to Mungiki as a criminal gang.
  
  The Mungiki operate in significant portions of Central province, some parts of Rift Valley province (Nakuru area, for example) and much of Nairobi, especially along transportation routes. (NOTE: Official Government of Kenya figures show the public transportation sector clearing over USD 1.5 million a day nationwide. END NOTE)
  
  ¶14. (SBU) The Mungiki rule territory as vigilantes (keeping out rival gangs), cultural police (enforcing prim Mungiki dress codes on women, for example), extortionists (collecting monthly fees from residents and business owners) and a parallel judiciary (arbitrating family disputes and
  renter/landlord conflicts). The Mungiki raise funds through extortion, kidnapping, hiring out their gangs to politicians and business people, and charging for the use of public services (public latrines, for example) or illegal utility hook-ups (water and electricity). When under threat from
  either the police or the common citizenry, the Mungiki react savagely, with beheadings and public display of mutilated corpses. They employ terror as a means of intimidating opposition.
  
  ¶15. (SBU) The number of Mungiki members is very difficult to determine. Some press and academic speculations put the number at 1.5 million, but this seems to be a gross exaggeration. The Mungiki are a purely Kikuyu affair. The Kikuyu number about eight million out of a Kenyan population of 32 million. The total number of currently active Mungiki, including rural members not routinely involved in urban criminal activities, is likely under 100,000. Most observers
  believe that membership is static, hence the emphasis on intensifying activities. Members of Parliament from Mungiki-dominated areas are largely silent about the organization, due to intimidation, complicity or support. Minister of Defense Karume, who represents a Central Province constituency infamous as a Mungiki stronghold, recently called for the government to negotiate with Mungiki (drawing sharp criticism from the press). The general population is
  intimidated into silence and non-cooperation with the police.
  
  On occasion, however, Mungiki victims strike back. Public transport drivers and local residents in a small town outside Nairobi recently burned the homes of a number of Mungiki members in the area. The resultant battles left a policeman dead.
  
  ¶16. (SBU) Ndura Waruinge, the supposed Mungiki founder, claimed conversion to Islam in 2000, stating that henceforth any move by the government against Mungiki would generate the
  fierce opposition of the worldwide Muslim community. Waruinge claimed in 2004 to have left Mungiki and to have converted to Christianity and become a pastor. Little credence is given to either "conversion." It is widely believed that Waruninge covertly directs the movement while
  his assumed status allows him to publicly move in political circles. He has formed a political party (Youth Empowerment Association) and announced plans to run for a seat in parliament.
  
  The alleged overt leader of the Mungiki is Maina Njenga. His large estate in rural Central province is said to include facilities for administering the Mungiki oaths and conducting Mungiki "baptisms." Although the police claim to be in the midst of a crackdown on the Mungiki, Njenga
  continues to come and go as he pleases.
  
  Comment: Threat to the State?
  -----------------------------
  
  ¶17. (SBU) Are the Mungiki a unique phenomenon in Kenya? Yes and no. There are plenty of other vigilante/extortion outfits, murderous gangs, political militias, and thugs-for-hire. What makes Mungiki different is the scope, comprehensiveness and cohesiveness of the organization. No other criminal organization is as large. No other criminal organization is involved in so many diferent criminal enterprises. No other criminal organization is as well connected in politics and the bureaucracy. No other criminal organization has Mungiki's religious/cultural/political mystique with which to bind its members.
  
  ¶18. (SBU) The parallel government set up by Mungiki in parts of rural Kenya, certain Nairobi housing estates and slums, and in the transport sector is made possible by weak and ineffective governance. The operation of the "Mungiki state" then further weakens governance in those areas. The apparent collusion of politicians and officials with Mungiki hampers moves by the partially infiltrated police to confront the organization.
  
  The Mungiki are not a revolutionary, subversive organization, despite their early rhetoric. Mungiki does not pose a direct challenge to the state because it does not need to do so. Rather, Mungiki acts as an insidious force that counters efforts to improve governance and security in Kenya. Mungiki weakens the state as it bullies and extorts the "poor and oppressed masses" it
  purports to serve, while defying the state to do anything about it. It is a sad commentary about Kenyans' lack of faith in state institutions that so few consider recourse to the official administration when they suffer Mungiki crimes.
  
  If the Kenyan state ever became a credible threat to the Mungiki's existence, then the organization might indeed pose a direct security threat to the country's leaders. The Mungiki does not hesitate to attack and kill police officers who they have been unable to co-opt or coerce into
  ineffectiveness.
  
  Comment: What Can Be Done?
  --------------------------
  
  ¶19. (SBU) The membership of such a large group cannot be simply rounded up, arrested, tried and incarcerated. The government's current crackdown is resulting in many arrests of young men in Central Province who have no apparent affiliation to Mungiki. Mungiki members who are caught up in these dragnets are routinely bailed out by their fellows, who then pose a threat to the arresting officers. Several police officers have been murdered in confrontations with Mungiki
  over the last few weeks.
  
  ¶20. (SBU) A more effective approach would be to go after the leadership. However, the political and official connections of the Mungiki leadership make this difficult. Kenya's two
  largest daily newspapers, The Standard and The Nation, have both printed editorials accusing the administration of lacking the political will to confront Mungiki. Multiple reports indicate increasing disaffection among Kikuyu voters with the government's lackluster performance in reining in Mungiki oppression. That vote is an absolute necessity for this government's re-election plans in December. That set of circumstances increases the odds for meaningful government action to curb the Mungiki.
  
  ¶21. (SBU) If the missing political will to confront the Mungiki leadership is ever found, then the Kenyan authorities may want to consider an approach successfully employed by United States law enforcement officials against our own large criminal organizations. Kenya's criminal statutes are often lax and difficult to prosecute. Internal Security Minister Michuki has publicly complained about this. Its tax laws, howver, are draconian. Mungiki leaders would be hard pressed to explain the source of their income (as would a number of Kenyan politicians and officials). Confiscation of property and imprisonment for tax evasion of Mungiki leaders would put a serious dent in Mungiki operations to the relief of Kenya's battered citizenry in Nairobi, Central Province and elsewhere.
  
  RANNEBERGER
  
  Source: http://wikileaks.org/cable/2007/05/07NAIROBI2215.htmlKumekucha

  
  

• Chinese Business And Entrepreneurs: Important Lessons We Can Take To The Bank

  Posted: August 25, 2011, 6:45 am by kumekucha

  China will soon rule the world. You may not like them, you may not like the way they do things, but nobody can stop them now. And as they say, if you can’t beat ‘em, you are best advised to join them
  
  So… what can Kenyan entrepreneurs learn from the Chinese entrepreneur and their way of doing things?
  Chinese electrical car
  
  The Chinese script is the very opposite of the American one that folks on these shores have religiously been reading from for decades now. We borrow heavily, spend like there was no tomorrow and all under the pretext that we are guarding our image which is critical to our business.
  
  In sharp contrast, the Chinese frugality is well known. People often make jokes about it. But the results are so devastatingly effective that humour is the last thing that comes to mind.
  
  When you have a mentality for waste what tends to happen is that it permeates into every layer of your life and work. Just walk into any typical Kenyan company and I guarantee you that you will quickly be able to compile a long list of ways they can save money. This has nothing to do with how clever or daft a person happens to be, it has to do with a way of life. We choose the way we want to live and at the end of it we can never shift the blame to anybody else.
  
  The thrifty nature of the Chinese has led them into extensive research and experimentation over the years so that today nobody else in the world can produce stuff more cheaply than the Chinese. You need to be a business-person who can grasp numbers quickly to fully understand the implications of that single attribute in any enterprise.
  
  Still let me break it down into just one real-life example I witnessed with my own eyes. Chinese road construction companies have won every single competitive tender fairly awarded on these shores. No other country in the world is able to match their amazingly low quotes. In mid 2000 I watched a Chinese road-building effort along Nairobi’s Ronald Ngala street and noticed that as they dug up the old road they saved a significant amount of the rabble and recycled it. Incidentally that stretch of road still looks pretty good today—years after completion.
  
  This thing of living our lives for other people is very costly because before we do anything we have to analyze what the neighbours/our friends will say or think. The Chinese entered the export market and kept at it even when the world joked about their poor quality. Indeed people have been laughing for decades about Chinese quality and I know many Kenyans who will still not touch anything Chinese only that the joke is on them because over 80 per cent of the parts in the expensive laptop they carry all over the place are Chinese.
  
  What has stopped you from doing some daring things on the business front. Daring is probably not the word because the financial risk has not been the issue, rather it has been the possibility of failure. How far would you have been today if you had dived into the venture failed a few times, learned some key lessons and ended up with a multi-million shilling break-through?
  
  The Chienese stuck in the export market with their cr***y quality and in the process learnt tons of things that the rest of the world will take another two decades at the very minimum to even begin to grasp.
  
  Which brings us to the other important Chinese secret; FOCUS. When thye start a venture they are so focused that it becomes their way of life. Even their leisure time is spent ‘having fun” with their product. I saw the Chinese idea of having fun with their product in the famous Kariakoo market in Dar-es-salaam. This Chinese CEO and a colleague started walking around the market literally hawking their product directly to retail buyers. This is an excellent way to learn very important lessons about your product and who your customers really are. My attention was attracted to this incident by the fact that the Tanzanians missed the point completely and were up in arms complaining about how foreigners were now even taking over their “hawking’ jobs and were wondering who issued the work permits to the Chinese to allow them to compete with their local hawkers.
  
  Another fascinating thing about the Chinese entrepreneur is that they will never shut down a business. Their frugal ways allow them to keep a loss making business running until the day when that business has no option but to start returning a profit. Chinese restaurants are a good example of this. They open and keep on operating with empty tables every day for a very long time until the day patrons get so sick of seeing it around that they decide to walk in for a meal.
  
  There is an interesting aside to this story that I cannot resist telling.
  
  The Chinese are now the second largest consumers of oil in the world and their government is not happy with the role oil plays in easily destabilizing whole economies the minute some Aran somewhere sneezes. And their response is to limit the dependence of their economy on oil. As you read this the Chinese are building a nationwide industry around electric vehicles. This new type of car, powered not by internal-combustion engines but by batteries, power electronics and electric motors, plays to the strengths China has gained in consumer electronics over the past decades. The Chinese have set a goal to become the number one producer of electric cars by the end of this year.
  
  Fascinating!!Kumekucha

  
  

• PLO Lumumba Bribery Attempt: What is Really Going On Here?

  Posted: August 23, 2011, 5:26 am by kumekucha

  What’s really going on behind the scenes with this PLO Lumumba bribery drama?
  
  This saga really started last weekend when the Vice President Stephen Kalonzo Musyoka very suddenly and out of the blue said that Kenyans should defend PLO Lumumba who was being targeted by politicians.
  Top Cecily Mbarire, bottom PLO Lumumba
  
  I found that a very strange thing for the sworn water melon to say and I started wondering what was going on. Well, I didn’t have to wait long because yesterday when PLO Lumumba called a press conference. Not to announce who he had nabbed but to tell Kenyans about a bribery attempt involving assistant minister Cecily Mbarire and her husband a Mr Dennis Apaa. Strange bibery attempt involving a mere Kshs 100,000. Apparently Apaa is a director in one of the companies Lumumba’s KACC has been investigating in connection to scandals in the water ministry. Read the full story HERE.
  
  What is the connection between the two incidents?
  
  Firstly it is becoming increasingly clear that every time Kalonzo Musyoka opens his mouth to say something this days he is hitting out at Raila Odinga. Indeed if you want to know what is really going on at the Prime Minister’s camp, just listen carefully to what Kalonzo has to say. It is as simple as that.
  
  This blogger has been informed by an impeccable source that the case against Water Minister Charity Ngilu is water tight, forget the fact that she was “cleared” by some parliamentary select committee. All that remains is for somebody to get the prosecution wheels moving.
  
  But apparently that cannot happen so easily because Madam Ngilu is one of those stones that is too heavy to turn. Apart from being a very close associate of Prime Minister Raila Odinga, she also one of the very few people that has the ear of President Kibaki. Kenyans who care to look back just a little will realize that Kibaki would never have made it to president without the crucial support of Madam Ngilu and the late Michael Kijana Wamalwa.
  
  So Ngilu is insulated.
  
  The link between Ngilu and Mbarire is obvious. The two are very close friends and it does not require any imagination to see the deals being alleged to have taken place actually happening.
  
  Now Raila supporters have been busy ensuring that Kalonzo Musyoka is exposed for the hilarious joker he really is, a water melon par excellence. Musyoka who is keen to occupy State house come 2012 is hitting back in kind. And what better way to do so just now than to sink his political rival in Ukambani once and for all with this water ministry scandal? By doing so he will also be making a major dent in the Raila camp because the plan as of this minute is to have Ngilu as Raila’s running mate in 2012.
  
  This is the politics that PLO has been caught up with. PLO Lumumba is an intelligent man and I fail to see why he would not have known that there was no way his sting operation against Mbarire and her husband would not have leaked out to the targets. With the kind of history I have described it was inevitable.
  
  Incidentally this bribe drama also introduces a few questions about PLO. He said that he invited the Mbarire’s to a fund raising event. The question many Kenyans are asking is why would he want to do that? How do you invite a person you are investigating to a fund-raiser?
  
  I am sorry but I have never really brought myself to trust PLO. I just keep remembering his Kanu beginnings where he went out of his way to defend the corrupt dictatorial regime of Daniel arap Moi with those descriptive stylish words of his.
  
  There is much more than meets the eye to this bizarre bribery drama.Kumekucha

  
  

• African Safaris And Sex Tourism: What Nobody Wants To Talk About

  Posted: August 20, 2011, 7:43 am by kumekucha

  African Safaris and Sex Tourism: Myths And The Truth That Nobody Wants To Talk About
  
  Global tourism is a very competitive business just now and the competition is getting fiercer by the day.
  
  Why is it then that arrivals in Africa continue to be high and in many cases is on the rise? Why do so many choose to snub cheaper and more attractive emerging destinations to come to the Dark Continent?
  In fact many African governments are looking at the foreign currency flowing into their treasuries and giving themselves a pat on the back for a job well done. Indeed the Kenyan government has done everything possible to frustrate tourist arrivals and tourism in the country while issuing polished statements to the contrary. In reality they have done the opposite including high visa fees and roads leading to game parks that are so bad that a cattle track is much better. If Kenyans got to know what tourists go through traveling to the Masai Mara game reserve, they would be surprised. And yet the tourists just keep on flocking into the country in large numbers.
  
  The truth is that a very high percentage of these tourists are actually sex tourists. This has to be the best kept secret in the tourism industry on the continent. This blogger has seen some interesting communication with prospective tourists and even websites that are very effective in attracting visitors into the country and what I have seen is shocking to say the least and leaves no doubt as to why Kenya and the strong sexy Masais are such a big attraction.
  
  Africa has been a fascinating subject for many Europeans. The truth is that scores of Europeans fantasize about having sex with an African, especially a real African warrior straight from the bush somewhere. It is fascinating how so many in the West are much more knowledgeable about customs of the Masai for instance that the things they would tell a local Kenyan about this much-sort-after-tribe would really surprise them. Not to mention the fact that there have been plenty of well-publicized liaisons between local Masai morans and white women who were willing to give up everything (including their families and children to be with some Masai moran who has never used a cologne in his lifetime nor a toothbrush and toothpaste.
  
  This is the real tourism niche that the country has successfully attracted.
  
  My investigations have revealed that there are even some well known up market tourist hotels at the Coast that are doing roaring business attracting their own clientele directly. And guess what bait they are using to do this?
  
  Politicians and stake holders will violently deny the contents of this post. But it is the truth. Pure and simple. Mta-do?
  
  Why Masai warriors attract white women like a magnet
  Kumekucha

  
  

• Why Yusuf Hassan Won the Kamukunji Parliamentary Seat

  Posted: August 19, 2011, 2:20 am by kumekucha

  Abdi Yusuf Hassan won the Kamukunji parliamentary seat just a few hours ago garnering 19,030 votes.
  
  He happens to be from PNU and that is what short-sighted political analysts are busy emphasizing on this morning. Had Brian Weke of Narc Kenya (who came in third with 4,064 votes) won then I would have emphasized the role his party played in winning those elections.
  Yusuf Hassan the new Kamukunji legislator
  Even if ODM’s Ibrahim Mohammed alias Joni (who came in second with15,517) had won I would still NOT have emphasized the party or its’ role in the election victory. Read the full results HERE.
  
  Many so-called political analysts still don’t get it. The vast majority of Kenyans have moved on from this party thing. They are getting wiser by the day in realizing that there is no difference between the political parties, what matters is the individual. They have taken note of the fact that it is not PNU nor ODM legislators who are refusing to pay tax it is the majority of legislators in the current house. Greed, corruption and impunity do not recognize or respect any party lines.
  
  Having said that, there is no denying that money played a major role in the victory of Abdi Yusuf Hassan. The man was backed by some very serious cash and the people behind that cash is what should be of great interest to Kumekuchans just now.
  
  An incident that happened at the Shauri Moyo tallying centre yesterday is an interesting pointer. Makadara MP Gideon Mbuvi arrived riding on a motorcycle and accompanied by over 20 other people also on motorbikes. Mbuvi entered the Shauri Moyo hall and after a short while emerged again but this time with a large group of chanting youths in tow.
  
  Folks, there is a really fascinating thing unfolding within PNU that has a lot of similarities with what happened within ODM in 2007. A group led by Vice President Kalonzo Musyoka is working overnight to increase its’ influence within the lose alliance of parties that is claiming to be a unified party. This group is spending cash like there was no tomorrow. It is not clear where exactly the funds are coming from but the clear agenda is to get the water melon into State house (a mirage for hopeless day dreamers if you ask me). This same group is the one that recently financed the poll by the Nakuru-based Smart Octopus Limited (what a revealing name).
  
  Maybe I should take this opportunity to reveal how these opinion polls are usually done. For starters you must know that doing a national opinion poll is pretty expensive. And I guess that you also know that these companies doing the polls are not NGOS or World Bank sponsored entities, but private profit-making enterprises.
  
  I know what your next question is. Do they even bother to do a poll? Of course they do. If you wanted figures and a breakdown they will give them to you. The only difference is that the figures are tweaked slightly to portray “the client” in good light. So one easy way of establishing who has sponsored a particular poll is to look at the final analysis of the particular pollster which they give in the press briefing they usually hold to release their results.
  
  The tweak done by the Smart Octopus outfit was to announce that one Kalonzo Musyoka is the candidate who would have the greatest majority in the event of a run-off in the next presidential elections. What I find extremely interesting is the timing because we know that many analysts are of the view that the next general election will have to go into a run off with two candidates competing in the final showdown for State house. I am not one of those analysts because I firmly believe that there is a huge chance that the next president of Kenya will be duly elected without a run off. But that is a post for another day because today we are talking about the Kamukunji by-election.
  
  Any doubts that there was a serious money game going on in Kamukunji should be dispelled by the high number of double registration that was detected. Of the 42 voters arrested during the by-election yesterday a staggering 38 were for double registration.
  
  The VPs remarks when the Kamukunji poll results were released was even more illuminating for those who want to know what is really going on behind the scenes. He said: “I congratulate Hassan for emerging victorious. It was a result of unity of purpose in PNU alliance which shows better things are coming,”
  
  Hmmm.........
  Kumekucha

  
  

• Who The Hell is Ben Mulwa?

  Posted: August 17, 2011, 8:34 pm by kumekucha

  A recent poll carried out by Nakuru-based Smart Octopus Limited on Kenya's possible next president had a shocker. It featured a name that nobody seems to have heard of. Ben Mulwa (pictured). And yet clearly 4% of Kenyans have heard of the name and would have voted for the man if elections were to be held today.
  The percentage may seem small but the interesting thing is that Mulwa beat well known politician Martha Karua (3%) in the poll.
  
  Let me shift to the old Kanu mode for a moment because plenty of old school guys must be pretty puzzled now and getting more so even as they read this.
  
  Nani huyu Mulwa. Natoka wapi?
  
  Where has this man been carrying out his campaigns? What political rallies are these that the press did not cover? Who licensed them?
  
  Folks stuff that we have been discussing here for a very long time is coming to pass right before our very eyes. This is an early and clear sign that when it comes to the fourth president of the republic of Kenya, you can only ignore rookies and nobodies at your own peril.
  
  This blogger is still doing plenty of digging to find out exactly who this Ben Mulwa is, but for now we shall focus on what he has done to land on the latest opinion poll for the presidency in 2012.
  
  The man has entered the opinion polls exclusively via Facebook. (Old school: Hio nini?). Yes we have heard the old worn out tale many times; Kenyans are not on the web, the masses have no idea what the World Wide Web is and so it is a waste of time campaigning on the net for any political office.
  
  Really?
  
  Let me take you back for a minute to the disputed 2007 presidential general elections. Those who were Kumekucha regulars must have been rather surprised at the influence this humble little blog seemed to have on public opinion. Actually there is a very simple explanation. The 2007 general elections were the first in Kenya’s history where Kenyans in the diaspora ended up being a major force. You will remember that leading presidential contenders like Raila Odinga and Kalonzo Musyoka made several trips abroad to meet Kenyans living mostly in Western countries. These are the Kenyans who have remitted record sums of money back home so much so that these remittances are now the top foreign exchange earner in the country. Many of those Kenyans were naturally very active on the web and many chose Kumekucha as their main blog in the 2007 campaigns. ODM and Raila Odinga cashed in big on this trend. What happened is that these opinion leaders influenced Kenyan politics right up to the grassroots level. With tools like cell phones and text messages the transfer was quick, efficient and in real time. By the time PNU strategists realized what was happening it was too late.
  
  But even before that American President Barrack Obama used social media extensively and it was one of his formidable political weapons. My political contacts in the United States now tell me that the president still maintains close contact with his social media network and they will no doubt play a major role in his re-election bid.
  
  Bottom line, what Ben Mulwa is doing is not new.
  
  But the question that is on everybody’s mind is what has he done differently on social media? A fair question because there are a number of other would-be presidential candidates and actual presidential hopefuls using social media for their campaigns. We didn’t hear their names in the opinion poll.
  
  In my view the reasons for Mulwa’s success thus far is that he started early and his message has been very consistent. He has been telling Kenyans that we need a clean break from the past and that is why they need to seriously consider his candidature. Most of the other presidential candidates on Facebook have been hesitant to announce their real intentions, fearing to do so too early. Admittedly in politics timing is everything. But Mulwa apparently did not have that baggage and has been discussing his presidential agenda on a one to one basis with a wide cross section of Kenyans. And more importantly he has ridden on the wave of angry Kenyans we have been talking about here in Kumekucha who are looking for a clean break with the past. Currently Mulwa seems to be more visible than most when it comes to the rookie candidate Kenyans are looking for to teach the political class a lesson.
  
  Read full results of the Smart Octopus Limited poll HERE.
  Kumekucha

  
  

• The African's Tastes and Desires: Their Economic, Social, Political and Military Implications

  Posted: August 15, 2011, 7:02 am by kumekucha

  By Mwarang'ethe Njoguu
  
  On 13th August, 2011, Chris wrote, “KFC Re - Opens in Nairobi capital of hungry Kenya,” available here: [is.gd]. Among other stuff, he wrote that, “I think it is possible to sell human waste very successfully in Kenya as long as you can convince people it is from America.” This statement reminded us that, we have had an article which has been sitting on the computer: The African’s Tastes and Desires: Their Economic, Social, Political and Military Implications, in short, the Political Economy of Africans tastes and desires.
  
  Having been inspired by Chris’ essay, we now detail how our tastes and desires are the means by which the imperialists enslave us. Or, how, we enslave ourselves.
  
  First, a true recent story. A few years ago, some Europeans visited a village in Mbeere district. While there, they were served with some chicken and chapati. When they tasted this chicken, they were like, we have never tasted such a nice tasting chicken all our lives and we would love to have it back at home. In fact, many years later, they still want to go back to Kenya, not, to see lions, but, to eat that nice tasting chicken in Mbeere. To many people, this would have been the end of the story. However, this reaction to the taste of a chicken in Mbeere, made us inquire, why is it that, the Europeans are not able to taste our chicken in Europe which would outsell the PLASTIC LOOKING
  and TASTING European chicken? After some research and reflection, we have found that, the European rulers understand the POLITICAL ECONOMY of tastes and desires. As such, they control the tastes and desires of their own people.
  
  Now, let us first inquire, what is imperialism? Simply, imperialism is a word used to denote a weird situation whereby, a few or the minority population dominate, rule, rob, subjugate, murder, rape and mis -educate the larger population. How do these minorities manage such a feat? They do so because, the imperialists are aware that, to control people, one must control the consciousness of the subjugated majority. As such, consciousness is a social product created by the interaction with other people. Consciousness should be understood to mean, tastes, desires, knowledge, beliefs, opinions, conditioned emotions, behaviour, world view and unconscious motives. It also involves
  methods of information processing, directional aspects of information, i.e. what value do we seek to fulfil?. In this way, then, the objective of the European people since 1492 has been to manipulate the consciousness of the African people to their own use so as to increase their own PROSPERITY AND POWER, i.e. white supremacy. To demonstrate this truths, we will follow, a day in the life of Jinga, a fresh FOOLISH graduate of the IVY LEAGUE of FOOLS in pseudo economics.
  
  It is 5.30 a.m. in the morning when the alarm clock which is made in Taiwan goes off which thereby wakes up Jinga. Having stressed himself, he springs from his bed made in South Africa. Thereafter, he proceeds to make his bed with bedsheets and a blanket, all made from the Egyptians cotton, but, manufactured in Hong Kong. Having made his bed, he puts on his bath robe made from the Egyptian cotton, but, manufactured in China and sleepers made from oil imported from Iran.
  
  Having done this, he walks to the bathroom for a hot shower. As he walks to the bathroom, he is walking on marbles imported from China.
  
  As he enters the bathroom, he stands to pee on a toilet basin designed and imported from South Africa. Thereafter, he enters the shower and closes the shower curtain made from oil imported from Saudi Arabia. He then goes ahead to open the shower using taps made from China. As he opens the shower, a stream of warm water, heated with diesel imported from UK by a UK independent power company streams out for a nice warm shower.
  
  Having finished his shower, Jinga dries himself with a towel made in Vietnam and then proceeds to dress. For his dressings, he puts on a second hand suit imported from the UK, but, was manufactured in Taiwan with the Sudanese cotton. Having dressed himself to look nice, he embarks on his breakfast. However, before he sits for his breakfast, he decides to listen to the latest news and for this, he puts on his TV imported from Japan. For his breakfast, he prepares coffee using a pot imported from China. For the coffee itself, although grown in Kenya, it was processed in Holland by a UK company and then, imported back to Kenya because, it is high quality stuff. He proceeds to use a spoon made in Vietnam to scoop sugar from Brazil. For the bread which he proceeds to cut with a knife made in China, it is processed with wheat imported from the USA as aid, and which was carried by an American flagged ship. Having taken breakfast, Jinga proceeds to brush his teeth with a toothbrush made in Kenyan under a licence from a UK
  company. For the toothpaste, it is manufactured in Kenya using imported chemicals from India, by an Anglo - American company.
  
  Having brushed his teeth, he now puts on his shoes imported from Turkey and hits the road to seek a WELL PAYING KENYAN JOB. In his garage, he starts his BMW made in Germany. He then, hits the road which has been recently constructed by the Chinese using Chinese labour and most of the materials. As he cruises on the smooth Chinese made road, he looks around and see a lot of Nissan's, Toyota’s, Range Rovers etc, all imported just like his BMW. Having spent the first three hours without success, Jinga decides to take a cup of coffee in town. For this, he enters Java coffee house which is owned by an American, but, manned by young Kenyan girls dressed in uniforms made from imported cloth from China. With his belly full, he goes on with his search for a WELL PAID KENYAN JOB. Just around 1 p.m., Jinga receives a call from his friend on his Nokia phone owned by Finish company, but, manufactured in China. Lest we forget, his friends phone
  is Ericsson owned by Swedish people, but, manufactured in Taiwan and Poland.
  
  His friend asks him if he would want to sit down for lunch. Without hesitation, Jinga says yes. For their lunch, Jinga and his friend decide to eat at the newly opened and popular American KFC. There is no way they would have failed to know about it because, it was given FREE advertising by Larry Oduor of the Nation TV. When there, Jinga and his friend order some chicken and potatoes IMPORTED from Egypt as we can hear here: http://is.gd/ZLVXYp. To drown the fatty chicken, they sip an American Coca Cola. Having taken lunch at the American KFC, Jinga resumes his search for a WELL PAYING KENYAN JOB. To ensure he reaches a few more places, Jinga decides to fuel his BMW. To do so, he drives into a Libyan owned petrol station which sells Libyan oil. Fully loaded, he resumes his search for a WELL PAYING KENYAN JOB.
  
  Having not succeeded in getting a WELL PAYING KENYAN JOB, Jinga, decides to relax at around 5 p.m. by sipping some beer with a few friends in an up market bar. Just like some of his friends, Jinga’s favorite beer is the Scottish owned cold beer stored in a Chinese made fridge, but, which is brewed by Kenya Breweries Limited. However, some of the Jinga’s friends are sophisticated and like such stuff such as the Aberlour Scottish whisky as well as French wine. As they sip their Scottish beer, whisky and French wine, Jinga, just like most Africans who are divided between Manchester and Arsenal fans, they are watching soccer on the TV imported from Japan at the bar. To FOOL the Africans into FINANCIALLY SUPPORTING the European soccer, the European clubs do hire a few black faces from Nigeria and such place. DELUDED that, we are supporting our own, we flock into supporting these teams. To screen the UK football, the Kenyan bar owner had to pay licence fees to the UK owners of the broadcasting rights. To recoup these charges, he sells his Scottish beer, whisky and French wines at a higher price.
  
  Since it is getting late and Jinga does not want to waste time cooking, he and his friends decide to order some nyama choma. Since the current and previous droughts have decimated our cattle, they get beef imported from Tanzania. Just before they leave for their respective houses, which are all “bought” on mortgages which are denominated in the collapsing dollar, they decide to wait a bit longer to watch the latest news, i.e. propaganda by talking heads. As usual, the big news is about the next BIG OPIUM SESSION in 2012. Having watched the news on how different horses are transversing the country using European made helicopters and Hammers made in the USA, Jinga and his friends then start a very animated conversation as to which of the horses will CREATE HIGH PAYING KENYAN JOBS for the unemployed Kenyans like Jinga. After one hour of what Jinga and his friends would call serious debate, they decide that, the horse which has promised to
  bring in more foreign investors as PARTNERS with the STATE to build TOLL BOOTHS on our roads is the best candidate. Lest we forget, these foreign investors will repatriate their profits tax free. Who pays for the stuff like the police to protect these foreign investors does not enter Jinga and his friends minds. It is too remote and more so, the local TV and its talking heads has never discussed such non - issues.
  
  Since now it is 11 p.m. Jinga and his friends part ways. Jinga cruises to his house safely and goes straight to bed so that, he can wake up early at 5.30 a.m. to continue his search for a WELL PAID KENYAN JOB. However, at around 4 p.m., he receives a call on his Nokia phone from one of his friends. Fearing for the worst, Jinga is informed that, two of his friends were hijacked, robbed and murdered as they were entering their gate. He is told that, the policemen, using imported Toyota cars from Japan, and radios from the UK, are on hot pursuit of the thugs who have escaped with a Nissan car imported from Japan. He is also told that, the thugs were armed with 4K 47 guns made in Russia. To view his friends bodies, he heads to the Kenyatta National Hospital where some doctors tried to save their lives using x - ray machines and drugs made in Sweden and imported by some Asians.
  
  As the news of the grisly murder is broad cast from our radio and TV stations, all equipped with imported gadgets from Japan and Germany, Jinga, like the rest of the nation demands more policemen in the streets to fight crime. To put more policemen on the streets does require more taxation of local industries and labour. This, to the masses if they are thinking, would make them realise that, more taxation will only bankrupt more local industry which increases imports. However, since the government is afraid of asking for too much tax, after all, how much can Jinga pay? So, in it’s cleverness, the government MONETIZES the debt. However, since there are UNIVERSAL NATURAL ECONOMIC LAWS which no government has ever managed to defy, this clever move leads to INFLATION. With inflation, the FALSE HIGH PRIESTS of the Central Bank increase the cost of money for the local industry. As expected, this only deepens the poverty which will lead
  to more thugs. In other words, Jinga and his nation’s solution is to cede their streets to the two groups of armed thugs, i.e. ROBBERS and the POLICE. May the best armed and the most ruthless win!
  
  However, since Jinga like the rest of Africans are educated in FREE TRADE, and MBA’s, this is a non - issue in their minds. As a result, the government decides to increase the number of policemen and have them better equipped with more Toyota cars as opposed to the usual Land Rovers. To the columnists of the Daily Nation and the Standard and the Gema, enriching the Japanese as opposed to the Britons, makes Kibaki a hero who can look East. Also, to aid the police communication system, the government invites some American companies to bring in
  better radios, street cameras and such. With the security problem “solved” Jinga like the rest of the nation goes back to business as usual hoping for better times ahead after the coming OPIUM SESSION.
  
  Jinga, like the rest of the nation is unable to understand that, the 2012 OPIUM SESSION will only increase the PARASITES. After all, our IVY LEAGUE of FOOLS legal dons told Kenyans that, increasing the PARASITES is the solution to all their problems.
  
  What is the moral of all this? Simply, the African consciousness has been hijacked. Our conditioned tastes, desires, wishes, values, aspirations etc, are the means by which we further the prosperity and power of all other races. As such, due to the hijacking of our consciousness, we do not value African freedom, liberty, self sufficiency, wealth, dignity etc. This is because, Africans in Africa
  and in the Diaspora have catastrophically failed to understand that, our tastes and desires are the means by which we feed others, as we starve; clothe others as we go naked; treat others as we die of diseases; build good houses for others as we live in shacks; educate others as we grapple with illiteracy; provide clean water for others as we drink contaminated water; ensure stable FAMILIES for other communities even as ours crumble into what some IGNORANT FOOLS call black men’s lack of responsibility for families; we provide safe communities even as our are invested with crime and drugs; provide jobs for others as our youth roam streets in search of non - existent jobs; arm other nations to attack us as we see in Ivory Coast, Libya etc.
  
  In simple words, let no one fool you about the so called free trade and free choices. It is just another of the European propaganda concocted since 1492. When the European and Asians talks of FREE TRADE they mean this. To lock out the Africans from THEIR OWN MARKETS (check KFC buying potatoes from Egypt) and EXTERNAL MARKETS (try to export Kenyan potatoes to the EU). If there were free trade and free choices as they make Africans believe, then, the Europeans would be eating the nice tasting Mbeere chicken and not their plastic like chicken. What we call free choices are carefully planted tastes and desires to serve a system of political economy so as to serve certain ends. As such, to ensure that, the Africans tastes and desires serve the imperialist’s
  agenda, through our so called education system, they falsify the African consciousness by:
  
  (a) feeding Africans with FALSE CONTENT,
  
  (b) feeding Africans with FALSE HISTORY,
  
  (c) feeding Africans with FALSE KNOWLEDGE, and
  
  (d) feeding Africans with IRRELEVANT knowledge.
  
  By this, we mean to state that, Africans are OUT OF THEIR MINDS to think that, the UNNECESSARILY EXPENSIVE Western education is relevant or appropriate to the Africans situation. Any education system that teaches Africans to work in the current system is irrelevant and
  inappropriate. As such, if our institutionalised schooling and self education is to have any meaning, it must have one goal. To produce REVOLUTIONARIES to OVERTHROW the current political economic system that falsifies the Africans consciousness. By word REVOLUTION, we do not mean USELESS street protests, riots, violence, new constitutions, OPIUM SESSIONS and such nonsense.
  
  True REVOLUTION means equipping ourselves and more so, our children with the ability to judge things by their CAUSE as not the EFFECT. This requires that, we engage in a very critical re - examination of the true political and economic function of the Euro centric education system we put our children through. We must examine the intentionality of the Euro centric education system which brainwashes Africans with concepts such free trade and free choice. With such a review, we should be able to come up with African centred theories of learning and pedagogy. By so doing, we shall come up with education based on who we are and our African experiences. In other words, our salvation does not lie in new laws, new leaders, but, self knowledge of exactly who we are, why we are what we are and how we create others by what we are.
  
  If we know who we are, we shall then automatically know who our children are. We shall be aware that, the African child’s destiny is totally different from that of a European child. On the one hand, the
  destiny of the European child is to maintain the imperial system. On the other hand, the destiny of the African child MUST BE the total overthrow the imperial system. How can it be otherwise? If this is true, how can they learn the same thing?
  
  Just an example. When the Western/Asian law schools teach their lawyers the mysteries of the stock exchange, it is an education to prepare them to continue the CAPITALISATION of the African soil in London, New York, Hong Kong exchanges etc. Now, if this is the true intention of stock exchange law from the Western/Asia law schools standpoint, what is the intention of the University of Nairobi when it teaches Kenyan lawyers stock exchange laws? If University of Nairobi understood its sacred mandate, it would prepare the Kenyan lawyers not to cooperate foolishly in the capitalisation of their own soil, i.e. create their own and their children's imperial masters, but, to resist and overthrow the Western/Asian capitalisation of the African soil. As such, instead of University of Nairobi becoming a means of self knowledge, it is a means of perpetuating the African's servitude to all other races. This is where the problem lies and must be understood if Africans are to be free people.
  
  To summarise, dear reader, the relevant question then, is this. What values do our own education, wishes, tastes and desires promote? Do they promote the goal of African’s freedom from want, or, deepen it?
  
  By this we mean that, even if the American KFC chicken is very nice and sweet, we must reject it to the extent that, it does not promote the Mbeere, Kitui, Kakamega chicken farmer.Kumekucha

  
  

• Quit laughing at burning London and get a quick exit plan out of Nairobi

  Posted: August 11, 2011, 6:20 am by kumekucha

  If you live in Nairobi I suggest that you quickly wake up from your deep slumber. I have seen you sit in front of your TV burping and making jokes about what is happening in London with the ongoing riots and mayhem. It seems to delight you greatly that there is rioting on the streets of the mzungu capital. He who called us uncivilized to our faces after what happened here in January 2008.
  But hold on a minute.
  
  Some 61 years ago, in the very neighbourhood where you are burping, farting and feeling very safe, some arrogant white settlers sat listening to the radio with the exact same myopic attitude that you have right now. At the time the world was discussing the wind of change sweeping across Africa that was ushering in independence from colonial rule. The settlers joked about the absurdity of the stupid illiterate “monkeys” who couldn’t tell their left foot from their right ever ruling themselves one day. The “silly wind of change” would never reach Kenya they confidently burped. I don’t intend to bore you with my usual history lessons but barely two years later these settlers were on panic mode witnessing some of their own being attacked and others decapitated by the murderous Mau mau gang. Some of the monkeys even wore ties and went to London to demand for independence. Many of them never recovered from the shock.
  
  My advice to you now is to carefully plan a quick and safe exit for you and your family out of Nairobi in the event of serious civil unrest breaking out. You are in the greatest danger if you live in one of those leafy suburbs of the city.
  
  Let me explain. The “revolution” that swept across the Arab world recently was triggered by one incident, a killing of one young man, Mohammed Bouazizi In Tunisia and Kkaled Said in Egypt. In the UK the shooting of the 29-year old Mark Duggan, who died in Tottenham, north London, on Thursday after been shot by the police has started off the worst civil unrest on those shores in centuries. Indeed most people are perplexed and very puzzled at what is happening in that famous, orderly, clean city that is the financial capital of the world.
  
  If we can come back to Kenya for a minute, much worse injustices have been visited upon the people of this beautiful republic and to make matters worse, the political class is busy provoking the masses every other day with something worse than what they did the previous day.
  
  Actually trouble should have broken out here many years ago except for what experts in these matters call a “buffer”. The buffer is the so-called Kenyan middle class. However in recent times, as most of us know, that middle class has been rapidly disappearing. In it’s place a very deep and wide void has developed between the haves and have-nots. If this is not dynamite that is waiting to be ignited by just one small spark, or petrol on the ground with sparks flying all over the place, then I do not know what is.
  
  As you read this, inflation is at a record high and the Kenyan shilling has plummeted to record lows. Amidst all that (and media attention has been diverted from this by the numerous other things happening) petrol prices have cleared the Kshs 110 per litre mark and continue to rise steadily. Even the so-called middle class are feeling the heat.
  
  That is why I submit to you today that trouble could break out at any time. Don’t be caught totally unawares, your life could depend on it.
  
  Kumekucha asked you to prepare for the worst more than a month ago
  
  UK riots… a consumer revolution?
  Kumekucha

  
  

• The Evil that the Central Kenya political class are planning

  Posted: August 9, 2011, 8:33 am by kumekucha

  The problem with most Kenyans is that they believe what politicians are saying. They still take those crooks on their word.
  
  Yet as we have seen in this blog too many times, what Kenyan politicians say in public and what they do in private are as different as day and night.
  Uhuru Kenyatta: Annointed tribal chief
  
  The president of the republic of Kenya has on countless occasions warned against tribalism and urged Kenyans to show love for their country. Very patriotic, as it should be. But what has State House done in private?
  
  There have been reports for a long time now that the provincial administration (whose salaries are paid by all tax payers) is openly campaigning for Uhuru Kenyatta, mainly in Central province. All other possible candidates have been frustrated at every turn. Yes you heard me right. While Kenyans are dying of hunger the government is busy using the provincial administration to campaign for a candidate of their choice. And any state official who tells Kenyans the truth (like the two sub chiefs in Turkana who talked to the press about people in their jurisdiction dying of hunger) will be disciplined.
  
  The same State house has launched a publicity gimmick campaign pretending that we have local capacity and the will to try and prosecute the Hague 6. We are seeing the Moi tactics of the 90s all over again (where powerful people are questioned by the CID. In the 1990 then powerful cabinet Minister Nicholas Biwott was “held” briefly over the death of former Foreign affairs minister Robert Ouko). This time it is Eldoret North MP William Ruto who is being used for the photo opportunity targeted at the masses of Kenya and the foreign press. The idea is for people to believe that the government is finally moving against the perpetrators of the 2012 violence.
  
  Do not forget it is the same State house that crafted a strategy to turn the good Kikuyu people of Kenya against the rest of the country. They told the people that the Kikuyu were being finished by this “Jaruo” who after taking over the presidency would make it impossible for them to survive in this country. Those who crafted this strategy were safe in their up market houses as innocent Kenyan children were made orphans, while others witnessed their own mothers being brutally raped.
  
  What worries me now and should worry Kenyans is that the same political game played in 2012 is in the works. The wounds of 2008 are still very raw and yet these so-called leaders are busy anointing a Kikuyu tribal chief (in the name of Uhuru Kenyatta) and doing everything in their power to start the 2012 campaigns for him early.
  
  Let me help those not familiar with how politics is played in Kenya and are wondering what I am talking about.
  
  We all know that there are at least three other major candidates from the Kikuyu community seeking the presidency. Namely Peter Kenneth, Martha Karua and Paul Muite. The strategy will be to shut down all the other candidates and elevate Uhuru kenyatta to the situation where he will be the sole candidate representing the Kikuyu who matters. So the strategists have to move quickly to make upstarts like Peter Kenneth, Martha Karua and Paul Muite irrelevant. How will they do it?
  
  They will do it by provoking emotions amongst the Kikuyu electorate. This is the only way because the bitter memories of the IDPs is still on the minds of the electorate. These people some of whom were previously landowners and employers have been reduced to beggars and are yet to be re-settled. So the story the Kikuyu electorate will be given is that they have to deal with the threat to the community first and then the IDPs will be settled later. They are already being told that Uhuru Kenyatta is the only person who can unite the community to deal with the threat against the Kikuyu community. They will be told that “the enemy” has already seen this and that is why Uhuru has ended up at the Hague. They will be told NOT to accept a Uhuru conviction because those working for it want to finish the Kikuyu.
  
  Folks that is the sad reality.
  
  I am keeping my ears on the ground and will regularly report back to you about the real message this evil politicians are spreading on the ground. Forget what you hear them saying on TV. The real message is delivered well away from the press cameras.
  
  Meanwhile my appeal to my fellow Kenyans and especially my dear Kikuyu brethren is to ignore what the politicians are telling them. Their community is not in any danger. And they don’t have to have one of their own in State house or in a powerful position to survive in the new Kenya. May I remind them that they survived in the old Kenya for 24 years under the rule of President Moi who felt very threatened by the Kikuyu community and did everything in his power the marginalize them. Indeed he is the man who inventes tribal clashes in 1991.
  
  Surely in the new Kenya our Kikuyu brethren will thrive as will all communities in Kenya.Kumekucha

  
  

• I met this pot bellied Kenyan who is yet to donate Kshs 10 to the hungry

  Posted: August 7, 2011, 10:45 am by kumekucha

  Even as Kenyans get involved in an unprecedented effort to feed their starving fellow citizens mostly in the Northern parts of the country, we still have pot bellied men (and a few women) gorging themselves with their usual nyama choma in a most unhealthy way who are yet to contribute even the minimum Kshs 10 towards their starving fellow citizens.
  I know because I struck up a conversation with one such Kenyan just a few hours ago and got really angry and disgusted. I watched in fascination as this fellow took in such huge quantities of nyama choma that I was genuinely surprised when they did not pass out at the end of it all. Instead they just belched and took a long swig from a bottle containing cold Tusker (can you imagine a sweating cold drink in this Kenyan winter?)
  
  It was difficult for me to hide my disgust, especially when I discovered from a casual comment that they are yet to show any kind of mercy to starving fellow citizens.
  
  Well, it is not mandatory for every Kenyan to contribute to the Kenya for Kenyans initiative and I fully appreciate the fact that this thing is voluntary however in this day and age those of us who live in such an unhealthy manner and yet have no compassion in our hearts for those less fortunate than ourselves only remind me of our political class.
  
  These guys not only continue to gorge themselves with public funds (they have refused to pay taxes and those who have, have done it for publicity with much fanfare so as to score points in their bid for the presidency). Not only that, these guys continue to campaign for 2012 and are really angry that some of the limelight has moved away from them and is now more focused on ordinary Kenyans and their gallant efforts to save the lives of their fellow citizens.
  
  I am really sorry if you are reading this and yet you have this big huge pot belly, so huge that if you ended up at a maternity hospital in the city with your pregnant wife, you might just get taken into the labour ward first. Nothing personal and to prove it I will be doing a post later to help you look much better minus that heavy thing you are carrying.
  
  I have a message for you even if you will have no compassion, even if you are saying that the hungry are well taken care of now because of the huge contributions being made. Even if you are saying that this is Kenya and some of the funds will get embezzled tupende tusipende. Whatever your excuse, that is up to you and your conscience.
  
  My message today is very simple. Just try and skip a single meal tomorrow and then see what you feel. Maybe then you will start to have a little compassion. Save that money you would have spent on that unhealthy lunch and send it via Mpesa or any means convenient to you to the Kenya for Kenyans initiative. Just send it! Do your part and the rest of us will do our part in ensuring that NO single shilling will get into the wrong hands. (Kumekucha already has people hovering around waiting for somebody to try something stupid.)
  
  This is a strong appeal from Kumekucha to all you wonderful Kenyans out there to stand up and be counted. Please don’t slow down your giving. We must feed these people until well after the rains come (nobody even knows when that will be). We can do it and we must not get tired.
  
  But what jazzes me most of all, above everything else is that we will keep sending this message to our political class which they do not like. The message is that we don’t need them and they should start packing their bags (with their presidential pipe dreams) because any government that cannot accomplish something as simple as feeding it’s own people has no business being in power. Any legislator who sits in parliament silently as Kenyans starve to death has no business being an MP.
  
  If you support the contents of this post, please forward it to as many of your friends as you possibly can. If you read this through facebook ask all your Facebook friends to re-post it.
  
  Kenyan lives depend on it.
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  The future of our beautiful republic depends on it.

  Kumekucha

  
  

• I met this pot bellied Kenyan who is yet to donate Kshs 10 to the hungry

  Posted: August 7, 2011, 10:45 am by kumekucha

  Even as Kenyans get involved in an unprecedented effort to feed their starving fellow citizens mostly in the Northern parts of the country, we still have pot bellied men (and a few women) gorging themselves with their usual nyama choma in a most unhealthy way who are yet to contribute even the minimum Kshs 10 towards their starving fellow citizens.
  I know because I struck up a conversation with one such Kenyan just a few hours ago and got really angry and disgusted. I watched in fascination as this fellow took in such huge quantities of nyama choma that I was genuinely surprised when they did not pass out at the end of it all. Instead they just belched and took a long swig from a bottle containing cold Tusker (can you imagine a sweating cold drink in this Kenyan winter?)
  
  It was difficult for me to hide my disgust, especially when I discovered from a casual comment that they are yet to show any kind of mercy to starving fellow citizens.
  
  Well, it is not mandatory for every Kenyan to contribute to the Kenya for Kenyans initiative and I fully appreciate the fact that this thing is voluntary however in this day and age those of us who live in such an unhealthy manner and yet have no compassion in our hearts for those less fortunate than ourselves only remind me of our political class.
  
  These guys not only continue to gorge themselves with public funds (they have refused to pay taxes and those who have, have done it for publicity with much fanfare so as to score points in their bid for the presidency). Not only that, these guys continue to campaign for 2012 and are really angry that some of the limelight has moved away from them and is now more focused on ordinary Kenyans and their gallant efforts to save the lives of their fellow citizens.
  
  I am really sorry if you are reading this and yet you have this big huge pot belly, so huge that if you ended up at a maternity hospital in the city with your pregnant wife, you might just get taken into the labour ward first. Nothing personal and to prove it I will be doing a post later to help you look much better minus that heavy thing you are carrying.
  
  I have a message for you even if you will have no compassion, even if you are saying that the hungry are well taken care of now because of the huge contributions being made. Even if you are saying that this is Kenya and some of the funds will get embezzled tupende tusipende. Whatever your excuse, that is up to you and your conscience.
  
  My message today is very simple. Just try and skip a single meal tomorrow and then see what you feel. Maybe then you will start to have a little compassion. Save that money you would have spent on that unhealthy lunch and send it via Mpesa or any means convenient to you to the Kenya for Kenyans initiative. Just send it! Do your part and the rest of us will do our part in ensuring that NO single shilling will get into the wrong hands. (Kumekucha already has people hovering around waiting for somebody to try something stupid.)
  
  This is a strong appeal from Kumekucha to all you wonderful Kenyans out there to stand up and be counted. Please don’t slow down your giving. We must feed these people until well after the rains come (nobody even knows when that will be). We can do it and we must not get tired.
  
  But what jazzes me most of all, above everything else is that we will keep sending this message to our political class which they do not like. The message is that we don’t need them and they should start packing their bags (with their presidential pipe dreams) because any government that cannot accomplish something as simple as feeding it’s own people has no business being in power. Any legislator who sits in parliament silently as Kenyans starve to death has no business being an MP.
  
  If you support the contents of this post, please forward it to as many of your friends as you possibly can. If you read this through facebook ask all your Facebook friends to re-post it.
  
  Kenyan lives depend on it.Kumekucha

  
  

• Miguna Miguna a casualty of Raila’s campaign for a better presidential image

  Posted: August 5, 2011, 2:49 am by kumekucha

  PM Raila Odinga, the real winner of the 2007 presidential general elections has not yet announced his bid for the presidency in 2012 but it is clear that his campaign has already started in earnest and kicked into a higher gear in recent times.
  
  Miguna Miguna, one of his closest aides and confidants seems to have been caught in the crossfire of Raila’s preparations and was last night summarily fired for what the PM’s office referred to as “gross misconduct.” Read the story HERE.
  With the Prime Minister who will now look odd without the burly figure constantly at his side.
  
  Clearly what Raila is currently doing is trying to clean up the image around him and portray a more national and presidential outlook. Little wonder that Salim Lone, the man responsible for building Raila and ODM’s formidable image so quickly and effectively in 2007 is being seen tailing the PM much more frequently. Quite a contrast from what has been happening where Miguna Miguna has been sticking closer than a fly to Raila. Only that the latter is rather burly and has such an imposing presence that my imagery seems comically out of place for somebody familiar with him.
  
  Experts in image building have for a long time been wondering about this man called Miguna Miguna. A confrontational, aggressive and take-no-prisoners character the Canadian lawyer has all along been behaving more like a student leader than a presidential advisor.
  
  There have been numerous calls for his sacking which have so far been ignored by the PM. Little wonder that he received the news of his sacking yesterday with shock saying that he was yet to receive any communications.
  As a student in Njiris high school 1984
  
  While he served at Raila’s side it was often clear that his powers extended well beyond his docket of advisor on coalition matters. In recent days there have been whispers that Raila is keen to strike a deal with close allies of Mwai Kibaki in an effort to make what he sees as his own ascension to the presidency in 2012 smoother. Since Miguna hardly ever used to leave the PM’s side and has on numerous occasions even been captured in posed official photos that were only meant for those in cabinet, it was predictable that he would start being excess buggage to the PM sooner rather than later. Indeed any negotiations with PNU in the presence of Miguna Miguna would not go down well because it is said he leaves a bad taste in the mouths of PNU big wigs which would make a favourable outcome for his boss virtually impossible.
  
  But who is Miguna Miguina?
  
  Mr Miguna was a BA arts student at the University of Nairobi before he was arrested and briefly detained in 1987 by the then dreaded Special branch. Although he was later released, he was expelled by University authorities and fled to Tanzania shortly after that. He managed to obtain temporary political asylum in Swaziland (Africa) before being granted more permanent status in Canada where he completed his studies and also qualified as a lawyer. That is where he was practicing law mainly as an immigration lawyer before his dramatic return to Kenya and Raila’s side in 2004.
  Addressing students as Finance Secretary of SONU at the University of Nairobi in 1987.
  
  He was one of the ODM parliamentary aspirants for Nyando constituency but did not make it to the ballot stage. Technically Miguna Miguna did not even qualify because the Kenyan constitution at the time did not allow for dual citizenship and Mr Miguna has always held Canadian citizenship since he started practicing law in that country. Talk of impunity by somebody fighting against impunity in others.
  
  Curiously one of the places where there is generous celebration this morning at the sacking of Miguna is at Makini school where his children go to school. Teachers at the famous school have been bitterly complaining of harassment from the PM’s aide who is said to frequently call them very late at night usually shouting and warning them to give special treatment to his children and to “stop being harsh” towards them.
  
  TJ monument finally goes up as Kumekucha releases new secrets from past assassinationsKumekucha

  
  

• TJ monument finally goes up as Kumekucha releases new secrets from past assassinations

  Posted: August 3, 2011, 9:19 am by kumekucha

  My late dad used to fondly refer to him as TJ and he could never stop talking about him. The man was assassinated when I was only 5 years old in 1969 and so I knew little about the man
  
  I went out and did some serious research. It did not take me long to realize why the man had so mesmerized my dad. I was quickly converted.
  
  And so when I launched this blog I hit the ground running campaigning very hard for the recognition of the man and for his killers to be brought to book. But to be honest with you, I never thought for a minute that in my lifetime I would see what I saw yesterday. Finally a monument in honour of a great son of Kenya has gone up in the CBD.
  
  In case you still have no idea what I am talking about, I am of course referring to Thomas Joseph Odhiambo Mboya, or simply Tom Mboya. Sadly my dad did not live to see the country finally remember this man they were once determined to forget. Great pity. He would have loved it for sure.
  
  The monument is stationed about 50 metres from the exact spot where TJ stopped two bullets from an assassin on that fateful lunch hour 5th July 1969 outside a chemist.
  
  Interesting coincidence because I have just completed my latest book, Political assassinations in Kenya where I reveal some fascinating new information on the biggest political assassinations in Kenyan politics and those who were involved. Tom Mboya, Pio Gama Pinto, JM Kariuki and Masinde Muliro. Yes many Kenyans don’t even know that Muliro was assassinated. Very neat clinical job but it was an assassination and this becomes very clear when you study what happened after his death. Actually this is the only political assassination in Kenya that I know of that achieved its’ objectives.
  
  The reason why I did this book and chose this particular topic was because there have been fears that masters of impunity in the country who are not happy with the reforms and new constitution will revert to political assassinations. I hope that this never happens and so I decided to do this book to reveal the full horror of assassinations so that Kenyans get very determined for us never to return anywhere near that bloody path of the past.
  
  I have plenty of free information on the book. All you need to do is fill in your email address in the pop up box that appears after you click HERE.
  
  Right now I am so excited about the new TJ monument.
  
  If it is true that constitutions are written in blood then TJ’s blood is amongst the blood of other Kenyans that wrote our current brand new constitution.
  
  RIP TJ!!!
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  Get a sneak preview of Kumekucha’s new book: "Political Assassinations in Kenya"

  Kumekucha

  
  

• What is this new thing happening in Kenya?

  Posted: August 2, 2011, 4:42 am by kumekucha

  Something without precedent is happening in Kenya.
  
  In just a handful of days Kenyans raised over 80 million shillings to feed their starving and dying fellow Kenyans in areas that are worst hit by the current drought and resulting ravaging famine.
  
  On the ground many amazing tales of selflessness and sacrifice are beginning to unfold. A humble house-help with a very stretched budget asked her employers to deduct half a monthly pay and send it to the Mpesa number that has been set up in the Kenyans for Kenya appeal to raise funds for the hungry.
  
  Others are walking to work and other skipping lunch to create donations out of their equally stretched budgets.
  
  Now it is a little difficult for most of my readers to appreciate the struggles that most Kenyans go through to maintain sanity in their lives. I am not talking about balancing their hand-to-mouth budgets because most folks cannot dare have a cup of tea or a cold Coca Cola in town when they are thirsty for fear of creating chaos in their already unbalanced food budget.
  
  Amazing. Kenyans have never given like this before and believe me we have had many disasters and many appeals for donations. Mostly those administering these programmes have been very frustrated and have had to beg, cajole, sell stuff give amazing offers etc. for Kenyans to show any signs of reaching for their pockets for coins to throw at them.
  
  Not this time round. Something has changed and changed dramatically.
  
  So what is happening now? What has changed?
  
  These are the angry voters of 2012 I keep on talking about. Kenyans who are completely fed up with the political class. To use a very appropriate local phrase “wame-shiba watu wa siasa.” And they are expressing their disgust at the disorganization, corrupt ways that those running this country insist on keeping to. They are doing this by taking matters into their own hands and doing what leaders should have done a long time ago. Kenyans are delighted to be able to prove to themselves that they can do without the political class some of whom have been in parliament so long that cobwebs must have developed on their clothes that are stuck to the August house. And many of these characters have given the impression that life in Kenya cannot go on without them.
  
  Folks, the stage is being set for a what I call “a blood-bath” in 2012. Don’t worry, I am not talking about the blood letting of 2007/08. I am talking about huge casualties amongst the political class and those who think there would be no Kenya without them.
  
  Yes, the stage is being set for an outsider to enter the precincts of State House to the amazement of all and sundry. And let me warn that individual in advance that they will have a hell of a job on their hands. Mainly because the angry voters will not be done yet. By that point in time they will be so angry that what they wil demand from the fourth president of Kenya, no human can deliver.
  
  But halleluyah because that will be the beginning of a new era in Kenya where leaders are truly servants of the people.Kumekucha

  
  

• Golden rules you need for a come back

  Posted: July 31, 2011, 3:20 pm by kumekucha

  Many of the most sensational comebacks have been in the world of sports. I am sure you know many and I would advice you to study them very closely because the same rules apply to a come back in virtually any field or calling in life.
  
  Let me for a moment focus on a sporting come back I am very familiar with. Diego Maradona. Down and out and literally dying as well as being a cocaine addict to boot many people believed that Maradona went to Cuba to die and not only to escape from his tax problems. But in 2005 he literally bounced back from the dead and started a successful career as a football administrator at a leading club in Argentina. This come back led to his being appointed the Argentine national soccer team coach in 2008.
  
  But the 2005 effort was not the first time Maradona whom some consider to be the greatest soccer player of all time (not this blogger my money is on Pele) was making a come back in difficult circumstances. After sensationally winning the 1986 World Cup for Argentina there was probably nowhere else to go but down. By the time the 1990 World Cup came along he was overweight and nursing a serious ankle injury. The speed, agility and dribbling were all gone but amazingly even though he hobbled along most of the time, he was still extremely effective and made a huge difference taking Argentina all the way to the finals. The man re-invented himself completely and concentrated on his positioning and pinpoint passes to tear apart the best defenses in the world and win crucial games for his country. This confirmed his status as a soccer genius.
  
  It can’t be done if you don’t understand “your sport” like the back of your hand
  
  Maradona’s soccer career has some important lessons for any come back attempt. The first is that you MUST understand your business, your sport or your vocation better than the back of your hand. There are no two ways about it.
  
  Diego Maradona would never have achieved what he did without his deep knowledge of the game. If your come back is in business then you must understand that business extremely well and that includes the rapid changes that technology has brought about in many industries.
  
  Luckily we are in the information age and getting information to make you an expert is easy, even if you are not one at the time you begin your research for your come back effort. Find one source of information I strongly recommend for anybody attempting a come back in business HERE.
  
  You must re-invent yourself
  
  If you understand your vocation deeply then re-inventing yourself like Maradona has done successfully again and again becomes much easier. Let’s go back to boxing now and compare Mike Tyson to other boxers like Mohamed Ali and George Foreman. Both these men managed to make successful comebacks. They came back as slower and less fit boxers but what mattered and counted in the end was the fact that they re-invented themselves adequately to be able to make a mark. Tyson it seems is less knowledgeable and this has no doubt been a great hindrance in any come backs he may have wanted to execute. It seems that he is only one kind of boxer and has found it impossible to come up with a new tactical approach or style that re-invents his game.
  
  Most of those who fail in their come back bids are guilty of trying to do the same old thing using the same old tactics. This will not work. You will need to completely re-invent yourself. YOU MUST to stand any chance of success.
  
  Finally whatever happens never ever give up. NEVER. Try again and again secure in the fact that some of those who went before you and became the greatest men in their time did so after failing so many times that failure almost became their second name before they finally made it. Just make sure you learn all the lessons you need to learn from every single failure. I can sense your doubt at this last statement I have made and so I will close my series this weekend with an example.
  
  Abraham Lincoln is considered one of the greatest presidents the United States has ever had and is still an inspiration to this day to many seeking leadership under difficult circumstances. And yet he started off with very minimal education. He had only one year of formal education in his life and then what followed were more failures than most human beings can take in two lifetimes.
  
  List of Lincoln's failures
  
  1831 - Lost his job
  1832 - Defeated in run for Illinois State Legislature
  1833 - Failed in business
  1834 - Elected to Illinois State Legislature (success)
  1835 - Sweetheart died
  1836 - Had nervous breakdown
  1838 - Defeated in run for Illinois House Speaker
  1843 - Defeated in run for nomination for U.S. Congress
  1846 - Elected to Congress (success)
  1848 - Lost re-nomination
  1849 - Rejected for land officer position
  1854 - Defeated in run for U.S. Senate
  1856 - Defeated in run for nomination for Vice President
  1858 - Again defeated in run for U.S. Senate
  1860 - Elected President (success)
  
  Read more about Abraham Lincoln
  
  Thanks for keeping me company through this weekend and I wish you the very best in your come back. Hang in there!!
  
  Go back to Part 1Kumekucha

  
  

• Two things you must do to execute a successful come back

  Posted: July 30, 2011, 1:58 pm by kumekucha

  A reader’s comments on Tyson in my last post pretty much sums up what I was going to say in the first couple of paragraphs of this fresh post. Basically the point is that whatever you think about the former heavyweight boxing champion, there is no denying that he is a survivor. He must have gone through hell just looking at what he had to do and what he told his interviewer recently.
  
  The reason why I have focused on Tyson for these articles is because his life illustrates many important lessons that we need to look at to plot our own comebacks.
  
  Stop playing to the gallery
  
  If you listen to Tyson you will quickly realize that one of his major problems was playing to the gallery.
  
  He is not alone. Most people have lost fortunes just because they are busy showing off their success and in the process pride quickly slips in and they start thinking that they are gods and that nothing can defeat them. That is usually the beginning of the end.
  
  In your comeback bid it is important to respect the success you had and it is also critical to be humble.
  
  Ignore the gallery forever. You are not making a come-back to show people who you are. You are making the come back for you and you alone.
  
  One great weakness I have noted in young Kenyans is that they take failure very personally and have the mistaken view that everything they touch should succeed at the first try. The result is that they will forever be frightened to try new risky things that have a high chance of failure and therefore success or getting back to the top remains an unfulfilled dream.
  
  Listen to the wise words of the billionaire co-owner of Google Inc. Sergey Brin;
  
  “The only way you are going to have success is to have lots of failures first.”
  
  How are you going to make a come back when you are still warily looking up over your shoulder to the gallery wondering what people are thinking as you fall again and again in the process of your trying to get up?
  
  But remember that the world is changing too rapidly
  
  I know a few people who have attempted a come back by trying the same old thing again and again expecting different results. The person was trying to revive a business that went under. This is in fact the definition of insanity, that is trying the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result. And yet the market had changed dramatically indeed that is one of the reasons why they had gone out of business.
  
  What you must do is try a new approach, a new angle that appreciates your reasons for failure the last time.
  
  Make no mistake about it the main reason why a come back is such a difficult thing to accomplish is because the ghosts of your past will not leave you alone and will constantly burden you and pull you back down.
  
  Read part 1
  
  Read 3rd and final part
  Kumekucha

  
  

• Weekend special: Have you learnt anything from the Mike Tyson story?

  Posted: July 30, 2011, 6:32 am by kumekucha

  One of the reasons why this blog continues to attract such huge traffic from all over the world since its’ inception in 2005 is because of the trouble I take to listen. I mean really listen to what people are saying.
  
  Try it for yourself the next time you have a conversation, because the rewards are immense. In my case people are always amazed at how I constantly seem to have my hand on the pulse of the nation and in some cases the pulse of other distant lands (like the time I predicted here the correct winner of the US presidential polls when the primaries had barely began).
  
  From really listening to people one of the things I have picked up in recent times is that most people these days feel that they have had dramatically better times in the past and are almost down and out just now in retrospect. This is not only true in Kenya but virtually all over the world.
  
  While this may appear to be obvious considering the downturn of the world economy in recent times, there are other extreme cases of people who were once rich but are now are paupers and even beggars. An excellent example here is some of the internally displaced persons IDPs who emerged from the disputed presidential elections of 2007.
  
  The first thing you need to know is that a vast majority of people who lose large sums of money and are forced to change their lifestyles usually don’t survive. They just die… and I am not kidding. So the first thing you must know when you see anybody who has fallen from riches to rags still in good health is that they have to possess a certain amount of strength that must be admired before anything else.
  
  This weekend we shall delve deeply into the come-back game and what it takes. Perhaps you are reading this and are deeply in debt not knowing what the future holds for you, if you indeed have any future. Take heart. My mission this weekend is simply to inspire you and help you focus on the stuff that really matters for your great comeback. Everybody loves a come back story but the truth is that they are very few around. Hopefully after this set of articles things will never be the same again for you and we will have many more come back kids around.
  
  We shall start this series with the life of a man who has never made it back and is still struggling even as you read this. I believe that by examining his life and what is going on with him, we shall not only set the right mood but also learn tons of valuable lessons.
  
  I am talking about former boxing heavyweight champion of the world Mike Tyson. This man once had millions of dollars in his account. For instance the Tyson and Holyfield fight of June 28, 1997. It was the most lucrative event in history and held that record until 2007. The bout drew such interest that it grossed a cool $100 million. Tyson received $30 million and Holyfield $35 million—the highest paid professional boxing purses ever for the next 10 years.
  
  But amazingly Mike Tyson lost it all and has been reduced to a virtual beggar. At one time he featured in porn movies just to put food on the table.
  
  Most of you reading this would swear that if you ever made half of $30 million you would be much wiser and be set for life and you would never lose it. Hold your horses and learn something from the life of poor Mike Tyson. I promise that you will not be so cocky at the end of this series of articles.
  
  Let us start with some quotes from a recent interview the legendary boxer gave that give us a clearer insight into the life of this broke legend;
  
  It's just a simple question of humility. If you're not humble, life will visit humbleness upon you. I'm a really damaged human being, and it's still such a struggle, but I'm going to fight to the end this time…
  
  … I'm not a pacifist and never will be. I still get angry, and I still scream. I can talk about humility, but I'm not humble. I mean, if you say, "I'm humble," you've just contradicted yourself. But I'm trying to be, man, I'm trying so hard.
  
  … If I was going to medicate, I'd just smoke a joint. Nah, it's trauma I'm dealing with. And it's this fucking ego of mine.
  
  Q: So what were you thinking when you bit him(Holyfield fight)?
  Mike Tyson: I wasn't thinking. I wasn't training for that fight. I was on fucking drugs, thinking I was a god. I should've been home with my family, man. My kids.
  
  Q: What's the story behind your Mao tattoo?
  Mike Tyson: I read his book when I was in prison, man. Down in the hole. They thought they were punishing me in that little room—no toilet, no bed. I got myself put down there so I could read Chairman Mao and not have to deal with all that prison bullshit. The thing that stuck from his Quotations book: "No investigation, no right to speak." If you aren't going to look deep, just shut up.
  
  I got no money. I'm not a glamour guy anymore. I got friends who've got money, so it looks like I've got money, but I don't. All the money I had, forget it. I never had anything, never had a stitch on me that felt like freedom. But to have somebody by your side, win, lose, or draw. My wife's lived with me in places I wouldn't take a shit in. I wouldn't be a prostitute in some of the places my wife and I have slept.
  
  - Mike Tyson –
  
  Read part 2.Kumekucha

  
  

• Weekend special: Have you learnt anything from the Mike Tyson story?

  Posted: July 30, 2011, 6:32 am by kumekucha

  One of the reasons why this blog continues to attract such huge traffic from all over the world since its’ inception in 2005 is because of the trouble I take to listen. I mean really listen to what people are saying.
  
  Try it for yourself the next time you have a conversation, because the rewards are immense. In my case people are always amazed at how I constantly seem to have my hand on the pulse of the nation and in some cases the pulse of other distant lands (like the time I predicted here the correct winner of the US presidential polls when the primaries had barely began).
  
  From really listening to people one of the things I have picked up in recent times is that most people these days feel that they have had dramatically better times in the past and are almost down and out just now in retrospect. This is not only true in Kenya but virtually all over the world.
  
  While this may appear to be obvious considering the downturn of the world economy in recent times, there are other extreme cases of people who were once rich but are now are paupers and even beggars. An excellent example here is some of the internally displaced persons IDPs who emerged from the disputed presidential elections of 2007.
  
  The first thing you need to know is that a vast majority of people who lose large sums of money and are forced to change their lifestyles usually don’t survive. They just die… and I am not kidding. So the first thing you must know when you see anybody who has fallen from riches to rags still in good health is that they have to possess a certain amount of strength that must be admired before anything else.
  
  This weekend we shall delve deeply into the come-back game and what it takes. Perhaps you are reading this and are deeply in debt not knowing what the future holds for you, if you indeed have any future. Take heart. My mission this weekend is simply to inspire you and help you focus on the stuff that really matters for your great comeback. Everybody loves a come back story but the truth is that they are very few around. Hopefully after this set of articles things will never be the same again for you and we will have many more come back kids around.
  
  We shall start this series with the life of a man who has never made it back and is still struggling even as you read this. I believe that by examining his life and what is going on with him, we shall not only set the right mood but also learn tons of valuable lessons.
  
  I am talking about former boxing heavyweight champion of the world Mike Tyson. This man once had millions of dollars in his account. For instance the Tyson and Holyfield fight of June 28, 1997. It was the most lucrative event in history and held that record until 2007. The bout drew such interest that it grossed a cool $100 million. Tyson received $30 million and Holyfield $35 million—the highest paid professional boxing purses ever for the next 10 years.
  
  But amazingly Mike Tyson lost it all and has been reduced to a virtual beggar. At one time he featured in porn movies just to put food on the table.
  
  Most of you reading this would swear that if you ever made half of $30 million you would be much wiser and be set for life and you would never lose it. Hold your horses and learn something from the life of poor Mike Tyson. I promise that you will not be so cocky at the end of this series of articles.
  
  Let us start with some quotes from a recent interview the legendary boxer gave that give us a clearer insight into the life of this broke legend;
  
  It's just a simple question of humility. If you're not humble, life will visit humbleness upon you. I'm a really damaged human being, and it's still such a struggle, but I'm going to fight to the end this time…
  … I'm not a pacifist and never will be. I still get angry, and I still scream. I can talk about humility, but I'm not humble. I mean, if you say, "I'm humble," you've just contradicted yourself. But I'm trying to be, man, I'm trying so hard.
  … If I was going to medicate, I'd just smoke a joint. Nah, it's trauma I'm dealing with. And it's this fucking ego of mine.
  Q: So what were you thinking when you bit him(Holyfield fight)?
  Mike Tyson: I wasn't thinking. I wasn't training for that fight. I was on fucking drugs, thinking I was a god. I should've been home with my family, man. My kids.
  Q: What's the story behind your Mao tattoo?
  Mike Tyson: I read his book when I was in prison, man. Down in the hole. They thought they were punishing me in that little room—no toilet, no bed. I got myself put down there so I could read Chairman Mao and not have to deal with all that prison bullshit. The thing that stuck from his Quotations book: "No investigation, no right to speak." If you aren't going to look deep, just shut up.
  I got no money. I'm not a glamour guy anymore. I got friends who've got money, so it looks like I've got money, but I don't. All the money I had, forget it. I never had anything, never had a stitch on me that felt like freedom. But to have somebody by your side, win, lose, or draw. My wife's lived with me in places I wouldn't take a shit in. I wouldn't be a prostitute in some of the places my wife and I have slept.
  - Mike Tyson –
  
  Read the second partKumekucha

  
  

• This government of Kibaki and Raila

  Posted: July 29, 2011, 5:03 am by kumekucha

  The coalition government of Mwai Kibaki and Raila Odinga believes that it has done everything humanly possible to deal with the current hunger crisis in the country. After all we are told it is the worst drought in 60 years, that is not their fault is it?
  The government spokesman representing the government of Kibaki and Raila went on national TV yesterday and with a straight face told Kenyans that the good government has no record of any Kenyan deaths as a result of hunger. That amazing TV broadcast was beamed into parts of Kenya where they were burying casualties of the current hunger. Before you bury anybody you need a burial permit which is usually obtained from the local chief in remote areas of the country. On that burial permit you have to state the cause of death. So this information has yet to reach the good government headquarters in Nairobi where there have been rains in recent days. So maybe the good government of Kibaki and Raila is wondering where the drought came from.
  
  Either that or the government is grossly ignorant and incompetent. They can’t blame the death of Kenyans on nature when nature gave us a bumper harvest last year at a time when everybody knew that El Nina was coming.
  
  But wait a minute, ODM diehards will tell you that it is the PNU side of the government that has fallen asleep on the job. Odd because none less than the PM himself the leader of Ohhhh Di EMMM who blasted the local media not less than a day ago for unfairly targeting his government which has done everything humanly possible to deal with the drought crisis.
  
  PNU supporters will tell you that it is the ODM “jaruos” messing up the government. They will even point you to the most corrupt minister currently being from the ODM side. Last weekend some PNU geek spammed this blog with messages appealing to me to write an expose on Immigration minister Otieno Kajwang and his corrupt ways. The chap made it impossible for readers to focus on a thoughtful weekend special on embattled media magnate Rupert Murdoch. What they didn’t know is that what was breaking news to him is an old tired tale on Kumekucha (just search the site and see for yourself from previous posts). Anyway to PNU diehards all the good things are attributable to their crowd and all the bad ones to ODM “jaruos.”
  
  Meanwhile there are other pressing and more urgent issues at hand. Like re-branding political parties in readiness for the 2012 polls (ODM Kenya did that this week shortly before the Mutua fellow told us that nobody is dying from hunger).
  
  The good cabinet of Kibaki and Raila is also busy “editing” bills handed to them by the CIC and inserting clauses to deliberately cause ambiguity so as to delay the implementation or to protect themselves from the fire that is coming from a fully and properly implemented new constitution. Indeed the busy cabinet in an effort to quickly dispense with the issue of starving Kenyans hurriedly approved the importation of GMO maize into the country. They really don’t need to investigate how safe those food are because they themselves and their good families will not eat GMO (or so they think). Tip from Kumekucha: avoid GMOs like the plague including those abnormally huge bananas you see in the market these days, if anything make efforts to start planting your own food. I kid you not!
  
  Meanwhile one of the members of the executive Hon Raila Odinga will seek your vote to be president of the republic of Kenya on the grounds that he has played a key role in bringing about many of the changes you see today including the new constitution that is causing the political class sleepless nights and some of them to pass waste in their clothes (excuse my crude language).
  
  Welcome to the banana republic of Kenya where there is no evil which is impossible. And where no leader in their right minds will take resposnibility for anything. (Why do you want to blame Prof Ongeri for something that his juniours did?)
  
  P.S. Statistics clearly show that there is usually a very high increase in gory and extremely bloody road accidents whenever the general elections are around the corner. I am not superstitious but I am not blind either.Kumekucha

  
  

• Politics of starvation in Kenya

  Posted: July 27, 2011, 3:42 am by kumekucha

  There are several instances where journalists have seen starving children in the course of their work and their lives have never been the same again. Some went as far as abandoning the profession and others even committed suicide.
  If you didn’t know it even with the horror of starvation and drought we have seen in the news so far, there has still been plenty of editing in the images that many Kenyans are now seeing coming in from Somalia and the refugee camps within Kenya. Not to mention the starving Kenyans in many parts of the country. There are limits to what you can transmit in front of the dinner tables of Kenyan families taking in a meal as they take in prime time news.
  
  Still even with the censoring, what has been beamed has evoked strong emotions and mostly very angry responses from the people. In my view the voters are getting even angrier against their government and the current crop of political leadership. And with good reason.
  
  Two years ago it was public knowledge that we were expecting the El Nino phenomenon where we would get abnormally high rainfall to be followed by abnormal drought (La Nina). It was just a simple thing to plan ahead and save lives but instead all the thinking and resources went to fighting the ICC and Moreno Ocampo amongst other idiotic projects.
  
  And even now the government response has been extremely slow, mostly too little too late and what is happening is that we are building up to a much bigger crisis down the road.
  
  You see the hunger crisis will place additional pressure on food prices and this coupled with the weakening shilling could lead the country to some serious food riots before the end of the year. Food riots can be pretty ugly and if there is anybody in authority reading this then they should wake up and realize that the current fire fighting efforts are not enough and somebody needs to urgently plan ahead for the more serious crisis coming. Can we forget about manipulating the ICC for a minute? This is so serious that if nothing is done and there is no divine intervention than there will be no country left to fight to lead and manipulate.
  
  Although experts are saying that the current drought in this part of the world is the worst in 60 years, the truth is that the people we call our leaders have done nothing over the years to help starving Kenyans when the rains fail all too frequently. Yes, Kenyans die of hunger almost every other year and that does not receive any media coverage so don’t fool yourself that this is the first time in 60 years that Kenyans are dying of starvation. In fact it would appear that the political class thrives on hungry citizens. Indeed the government has always used food hand outs to retain complete political control of large chunks of Eastern province, mostly Ukambani so much so that it will take many decades to get this handout mentally out of the psyche of Akamba people. Indeed William Ruto and Daniel arap Moi (by the way did you know what Moi's most guarded secret is?) used this little piece of information last August to straddle the Kamba community and get them to vote strongly against a constitution that was for all intents and purposes in their best interests (more so for them than for many other communities in the country). But that is a story for another post.
  
  The bottom line is that the government has absolutely no excuse.
  
  What the next government needs to do (we have completely given up on this excuse of a government) is to pursue serious rain harvesting initiatives (bore holes deplete the under ground water table and cause much more serious long term problems). Did you know that a country like Egypt which is virtually all desert and has only one great river grows surplus food? Take my word for it if you still don’t get it, Kenya should never have a food crisis, even if we had a 5 year drought.Kumekucha

  
  

• Evidence that angry Kenyan voters will cause shocks in 2012 polls

  Posted: July 25, 2011, 5:23 am by kumekucha

  The poll carried out on Citizen’s Sunday Live last night must have surprised many…
  
  But not regular readers of this blog.
  
  The poll question to Kenyans was whether they would vote for Mutava Musyimi as President. A simple yes or no answer was required. A staggering 92% said YES.
  
  But I have no intention of bragging and so I will explain what is happening here to my newer readers.
  It's official, Mutava Musyimi is the man to beat for President
  
  My regulars will remember that in the run up to the 2007 General Elections I kept on talking about Kenya’s angry voters. Angry voters are dangerous and unpredictable. In those elections candidate Raila Odinga had many odds against him, more than most Kenyans realize. Indeed Eldoret North legislator William Ruto kept on telling him that he was unelectable and should give way to another ODM candidate. Raila was adamant and insisted that he was the democratically elected ODM presidential candidate. Others like Kalonzo Musyoka could not take it and abandoned Odinga running away with the ODM Kenya registration certificate. You know the rest of the story.
  
  What Ruto and Musyoka saw was not an illusion but the harsh reality of what Jomo Kenyatta’s government bequeathed to Kenyans. A deep hatred and suspicion of anybody from the Luo community. The whole anti-Luo community hate campaign was launched by Kenyatta’s inner circle that saw the community as the main threat to their dream of “the presidency never crossing the Chania River.” That Chania river divides Kiambu Kikuyu and Nyeri Kikuyu meaning that the whole evil plan was to not only retain the presidency of Kenya amongst the Kikuyu community but specifically in Kiambu where Kenyatta and his inner cabinet hailed from.
  The threat was provoked by the likes of Tom Mboya whom the Kiambu mafia assassinated and Jaramogi Oginga Odinga who was very lucky not to have been assassinated.
  
  And that is where the stories about Luos not being circumcised originated from (President George W. Bush is not circumcised either).
  
  Anyway back to what I was saying about 2007, those who knew this history well would have speedily agreed with Ruto and Musyoka. I would also have agreed except that I noted the pulse of the nation and this phenomenon of angry voters. Predictably those angry voters ignored past history and voted in Raila Odinga, circumcised or not.
  
  The news I have for you is that those same voters are angrier this time. And last night the first real evidence of what I have been harping on about here presented itself.
  
  So my message to all those analysts busy talking about tribal equations and those politicians like Ruto, Uhuru and Kalonzo busy doing tribal arithmetic is that they should head back to the drawing boards pronto. Kenyans are about to elect the most unlikely president ever.
  
  As for now Mutava Musyimi is the man to beat. I love this… don’t you?
  
  Breaking News: Power rationing to start this evening in Kenya
  Read the statement from KPLC CEO
  Kumekucha

  
  

• The rest of Murdoch’s fascinating tale

  Posted: July 25, 2011, 3:11 am by kumekucha

  As you must have realized already, Rupert Murdoch’s story is much more fascinating than any yearn that was ever spun in any of his top selling tabloids. It is the kind of story that one can learn a lot from. Above all it brings the current controversy threatening his empire into perspective.
  
  Indeed the current happenings will hardly surprise anybody who knows Murdoch’s past.
  
  Murdoch’s story is also extremely useful to anybody with ambitions for making money online. As we shall see later in this series, Murdoch saw the emergence of social networking sites online long before Facebook rose to fame and he even put his money into his hunch by purchasing MySpace for a figure most though was ridiculously high.
  
  Murdoch’s story is also a must-read for Media practitioners and publishers anywhere in the world. The amazing launch of Australia’s first national newspaper, The Australian amid the phenomenal logistical problems involved in nationwide distribution is a fascinating and instructive chapter of this magnate’s story. More so when you realize that the paper made huge losses but was kept going.. why?
  
  Then there is the spectacular purchase of the News Of The World amid serious competition from his rival Robert Maxwell. This was followed by the birth of The Sun. My series takes a very deep look into what really made this paper Murdoch’s biggest money-spinner (to date). Can such trashy stories make a man a fortune?
  
  That battle with Robert Maxwell almost cost Murdoch his entire empire because the banks moved in and for a moment it looked like it was the end for the boy publisher. Even his rival Robert Maxwell faced with financial ruin committed suicide and left his crumbling nightmare in a mess. But Murdoch bounced back somehow. Quite a story that episode.
  
  Then despite his sensational failure in the United States, Murdoch created at least one successful publication in that country. The story behind it is equally fascinating.
  
  All this cannot be published here in Kumekucha but you can catch it all delivered in your email every two days until the end. It is not free but I have a fascinating deal for you. Get the details NOW.
  
  Thank you for keeping me company this weekend, it was a real pleasure for me.
  
  Go back to part 1Kumekucha

  
  

• Smart management behind the trashy stories

  Posted: July 24, 2011, 2:17 pm by kumekucha

  As the 1950s drew to a close Rupert Murdoch remained a small time emerging newspaper publisher in Australia with no representation in Sydney, the biggest city in the country.
  
  The big two publishers in Sydney behaved like a cartel and were determined to keep out any outsiders looking to enter their lucrative market. Murdoch made several attempts in vain but as 1960 beckoned his luck started to change. A publisher serving mainly the outskirts of Sydney was willing to sell and Murdoch used a friend to make a bid keeping the real identity of the person behind it a secret until the deal was sealed. Cumberland Newspapers, the group he purchased distributed about 400,000 newspapers weekly in the suburbs. It was not exactly the kind of thing he was looking for but at least it gave him a foothold into Sydney. Early in 1960 his big break came. The Mirror newspapers were up for sale. This consisted of an evening daily and a Sunday newspaper published in the heart of Sydney. It also gave him printing plants in Sydney, Brisbane and Melbourne.
  
  It is said that Murdoch did a jig when the deal went through and could not stop telephoning his close friends in excitement. This was an important step in his bid to establish himself as a major newspaper publisher in Australia. It marked the moment when he joined the big leagues proper.
  
  On entry into this market, he was determined to be the top circulating newspaper in Sydney. Murdoch’s impact was felt almost immediately. Sensationalism and vulgarity became the trade mark of the Sunday Mirror. PROWLER STRIPS WOMAN NAKED. BANNED SEX BOOKS, FREE FOR SOME. GANG RAPES GIRL 10. WHIPPING FOR HUSBAND-WIFE’S RAGE. WHY MY SON IS A KILLER-MOTHER’S STORY. GIRL 13 RAPED 100 YARDS FROM HOME.
  
  The daily was not much different although an effort was made to cover plenty of politics and to write intelligent editorials.
  
  But his efforts did not stop there. He was constantly searching for promotions to boost sales. For instance he serialized new books. Circulation and profits climbed steadily.
  
  But Murdoch’s success was not just in the content of his newspapers and in promoting them. One of the key things is that he understood the newspaper business much more than most people understood it. Many times his rivals underestimated him and dismissed him as a publisher of trashy articles for the masses. But behind that facade was a very well run business with a management system that worked.
  
  For instance there was the Blue Book. Other newspaper groups had monthly reports, Murdoch’s blue book was weekly. Every week every property owned by Murdoch had to send in their figures to him. That meant that if there was any problem developing (e.g. increase in costs in a certain area, circulation drops etc) it was noticed right away.
  
  To this day these weekly figures still come to Murdoch weekly from all over the world.
  
  Read the next part
  
  Go back to part 1
  Kumekucha

  
  

• Love affair with America

  Posted: July 24, 2011, 8:13 am by kumekucha

  Rupert Murdoch’s love affair with the United States is fascinating and fairly educative to any entrepreneur even today.
  
  He started going to the States very regularly in the mid 50s. His biographers all agree that at this point in time he did not even dream of ever owning any media property there let alone becoming a citizen in order to do so. His main interest in the US was to get ideas. Whenever he got back to Australia his luggage would be packed with magazines and newspapers that he had collected to mine ideas out of.
  
  Admittedly there was a lot happening in the US in the 50s. The emerging super power by 1959 was seeing the average American family spending 6 hours daily, 7 days a week watching TV. Australia was of course several years behind and so it was easy for Murdoch to pick up ideas and simply re-create them back home. If anything his greatest gift has always been his brilliant flair for spotting trends in popular culture.
  
  Back home in Australia Murdoch’s involvement in Adelaide’s first TV station to go on air, Channel 7 meant that he collected a lot of programming and also got ideas for TV back home. For instance he copied the TV Guide in the United States and created a replica in Australia.
  
  At this point ideas for newspapers would have been limited. Newspapers in the United States are very different from anywhere else in the world in that they rely very heavily on advertising and therefore tend to have many more pages and one often has to look for the editorial amongst the tons of advertising and advertorials.
  
  There is an interesting aside here from the Kenyan media scene where after years of building a name and revenues based on circulation, a very deliberate decision was made in the late 80s to transform the business model at Kenya’s highest circulating newspaper, the Daily Nation to rely much more heavily on advertising. Rates were jacked up and state-of-the-art colour presses that could reproduce colour advertisements quickly and cheaply were installed. There are those who argue that this was a mistake because the newspaper lost a huge opportunity to grow its’ circulation and collect enormous revenues from the rapidly growing Kenyan population over the years. If you look at the circulation of this newspaper it has actually slightly dropped over the years. And this has nothing to do with competition and even less to do with the advent of technology. Neither can really be blamed for the lost opportunity.
  
  Other observers acknowledge that this was the smartest move to make at the time because the country was going into a lot of political uncertainty and continuing to rely so heavily on circulation would have been a mistake and the kind of risk that share holders would have cringed at were they given the facts.
  
  This is an interesting debate because Rupert Murdoch’s empire was built mainly from the huge circulation. His most successful newspapers as we have already seen were hardly the kind that any serious business would want to do an advertising campaign in. Especially what he managed to achieve in the United Kingdom from The Sun and News of the World. We shall take a detailed examination and analysis at his acquisition of those properties and how they operated later in this series, but for now looking at Murdoch’s balance sheet at the end of 1983 clearly gives us the answer to any argument one wants to have on circulation versus advertising revenues.
  
  The biggest cash cow in the entire Murdoch empire that year (as in all other years) was The Sun which earned a staggering $50 million in 1983 and 40% of News Corporations’ (Murdoch’s umbrella company for all his media properties) total operating worldwide profits. 70% of The Sun’s revenues were from circulation and NOT advertising.
  
  Go to the next part
  
  Go back to Part 1
  Kumekucha

  
  

• Murdoch journalism is born

  Posted: July 23, 2011, 10:51 am by kumekucha

  The small afternoon newspaper that Murdoch started with was the Adelaide News which is the property he inherited from his father.
  
  Murdoch joined the newspaper and put his energy learning the trade by being involved in virtually every aspect of the newspaper from advertising rates to the actual production and printing process as well as editorial. But more significantly it turned out to be the battle ground for his first real newspaper battle and no doubt played a big role in shaping the fighter in Murdoch that was to be seen in later years fighting for the control of newspaper properties against great odds.
  
  It was not an easy one for the man who was quickly nicknamed “the boy publisher” having arrived at the newspaper to take over his inheritance at the tender age of only 22. The tiny newspaper was under serious threat from its’ much bigger competitor, the Adelaide Advertiser. Indeed the bigger paper which was part of a large group was determined to take over the tiny annoying competitor and Rupert’s mother had already received an offer to sell off the newspaper to them but young Rupert could hear nothing of it. He was rather emotional about the whole thing seeing it as an attempt to discredit the memory of his father who had only died so recently.
  Rupert Murdoch in the early years
  
  But even at that tender age and with all his inexperience Murdoch injected a number of interesting ideas and was a key member of the team that survived that first battle. I use the word survive because the nasty circulation war that ensued cost both newspapers a lot but considering that the News had such limited resources in comparison, it was a very commendable show.
  
  Murdoch did not quite destroy the competition completely but a compromise was reached which eased the pressure and saw the two arch enemies own one Sunday newspaper together where they shared the revenues on a 50/50 basis.
  
  Another interesting aspect that came out of this first newspaper project for Murdoch was his propensity for cost cutting. The Adelaide News already had a very lean staff and there are those who felt that it would have done well with more staff. Murdoch went in the opposite direction and still constantly looked for ways to cut down on costs even further.
  
  The other important development is that the young Murdoch started developing a relationship with a bank which was to prove to be critical to his newspaper career. He found the National Bank of Australia as the bankers of the Adelaide News, but they were also bankers to their competitors, The Advertiser. Murdoch switched bankers to the Commonwealth Bank and developed such a close working relationship that he was able to get credit at very short notice for many years as he relentlessly built his media empire.
  
  As the 1950s were coming to a close the Adelaide News was making enough money for Murdoch to consider the first acquisitions, which he did against the wishes of some on the board who were much more cautious. Still he won approval to acquire a weekly woman’s magazine called New Idea published in Melbourne and his second newspaper The Sunday Times published in Perth, Western Australia. To acquire the newspaper he put up his first newspaper as security, a very risky financial move because if his new acquisition had gone wrong, he would have lost everything. Not only that, Perth is 1,400 miles (not kilometers) away from Adelaide and yet Murdoch wanted a hands on approach to enable him turn around his second newspaper even as he kept a close eye on his first newspaper. Every Friday he would fly down to supervise his Sunday newspaper and his ruthless reputation now started to take shape. For instance his Sunday Times staff would work on the paper but the minute Murdoch would arrive straight from his flight he would take a look at the front page and tear it to shreds. Thus work would start all over again on the front page. The newspaper became much more sensational and circulation rose. Indeed many observers are of the opinion that it was in Perth that Murdoch journalism was truly born.
  
  The hallmark of Murdoch journalism and what built his empire may be difficult for many to accept. It was the exaggerated story filled with invented quotes. Boring news service copy was completely re-written into lavishly sensationalized articles. The signature would be the blood-curdling headline. Sample one of Murdoch’s best selling headlines in Perth; LEPER RAPES VIRGIN GIVES BIRTH TO MONSTER BABY.
  
  It was also in Perth that Murdoch developed his aggressive newspaper promoting skills.
  
  The quick success of the Sunday Times sparred him on and thus started the rapid expansion and acquisition of other newspaper properties.
  
  Read the next part
  
  Go back to part 1
  Kumekucha

  
  

• Rupert Murdoch: Where it all started

  Posted: July 23, 2011, 4:17 am by kumekucha

  From left to right: Rupert Murdoch aged 5 years old with his father Keith Murdoch, about the time he was working his first newspapers in Australia and finally how he looks like today.
  
  To understand Rupert Murdoch the media mogul and what makes him who he is today it is important to go back to the 19th century and to a time when he was not even born. We need to understand the life and times of one Alfred Hamsworth billed to have been the greatest publisher who ever lived.
  
  Who was Hamsworth and what is his link to Murdoch?
  
  Hamsworth (later Lord Northcliffe) was the major inspiration in the life of Rupert’s father Keith Murdoch. When the older Murdoch was working on behalf of the Aussie government in London he spent a lot of time with Murdoch and learned a lot about the newspaper business which he later went back home to apply. And as he did so this knowledge and information was passed on to the young Murdoch and is very evident in the younger Murdoch’s media career as we shall see later in this series.
  
  Hamsworth’s most powerful newspaper principal was simplify, clarify, explain. Born in 1865, he came on the scene when newspapers were more like text books on medicine. Articles were written for detail and one had to painstakingly read through thousands of words to understand the content. With the strong traditions and class system in Britain it would have been an insult to suggest to any editor at the time to make his newspaper or articles more readable for the uncouth masses. Hamsworth saw only the money that could be made from reaching the masses.
  Alfred Hamsworth
  
  The foundation of his newspaper was a dirt-cheap weekly called Answers to correspondence (later shortened to Answers). The format was simple. Each article started with a question and was followed by the answer written in a simple easy to grasp way that had yet to be seen at the time. Sometimes the questions were picked from topical issues and at other times they were just based on the other powerful emotion successful publications exploit in prospective readers, namely curiosity. “Can a clergyman marry himself?” “Do Dogs commit murder?” are two examples that were big sellers at the time. This small pamphlet was a sensational success even as the then mainstream press ignored and laughed at it. Circulation steadily rose to 200,000 copies weekly.
  
  But Hamsworth real money-making genius emerged from the fact that he realized that the material he produced in Answers could easily be recycled again and again by simple changing the headline and re-writing the articles from a different angle but based on the same researched material. This could be done almost endlessly and so he launched numerous other cheap papers like Comic Cuts, Illustrated Chips, Forget me Not, Home Chat and so on. By 1894 the total circulation of all his papers was 2 million copies a week and Hamsworth was rapidly becoming a very wealthy man. And that was the year that his inevitable shift away from the ‘gutter press’ to the mainstream media happen.
  
  A newspaper called Evenings News was in serious financial trouble and on the verge of shutting down. Hamsworth purchased it and using the same tactics that had built his gutter press empire to such phenomenal success he turned it around instantly into a great success. In 1896 he founded the Daily Mail which sold 400,000 copies on it’s first day of publication.
  
  Hamsworth’s guiding principle was simple but revolutionary in his time. He put it thus: “For a newspaper to pay it must deal with what interests the mass of people, give the public what they want.”
  
  If you were to pick up any copy of Rupert Murdoch’s most financially successful newspaper over the years, The Sun you would see this simple principal in every article, every headline and every photograph including the notorious page 3 naked model. Simply put The Sun is successful because it gives the people what they want.
  
  Hamsworth is the foundation of Rupert Murdoch’s phenomenal media empire which was built from scratch. Murdoch started with one very small afternoon newspaper in Australia which he inherited from his father and as we shall see throughout this series, that is the simple principle he copied and put to work.
  
  Admittedly there was also a lot of financial smarts which can still be applied to any business today and we shall examine those as well. Indeed what Murdoch did can still be done today albeit on the information super highway. Because even with all the technology available now the basic fact that information is the most powerful and lucrative commodity on earth is still very much true.
  
  Read more on Hamsworth
  
  Read part 2Kumekucha

  
  

• The Ruto Curse

  Posted: July 22, 2011, 4:16 am by kumekucha

  There are several methods that ignorant and naïve Kenyans use to judge human character. The most popular is how much money somebody has to their name. If you have money then you are a very clever person and a person to be trusted, so the reasoning goes. And true to form those mostly with ill-gotten wealth always say the right things to neatly complete the façade that is their so-called image.
  
  But inevitably somewhere down the line they will do something stupid that will bring out their true character for all and sundry to see.
  Character should always be judged by a person’s actions and not what they say or claim to be.
  
  There is a national leader called William Ruto who has been traversing the country reassuring Kenyans that he is bringing to them a new non-dictatorial brand of leadership to Kenya that understands the problems of ordinary folk. Make no mistake about it, this man Ruto is a schemer par excellence.
  
  In my book he would have been a person to trust had he resigned from his party post in ODM the minute he fell out with the party leadership. Instead he officially remains one of the two deputy party leaders even as he goes round the country trashing his party and selling instead his new party, UDM.
  
  This is the same William Ruto who not too long ago held the entire country at ransom negotiating a common position for the purposes of passing a new constitution but the minute the very document he had negotiated had been published he emerged as it’s most passionate critic leading the no campaign to defeat that constitution.
  
  Raila supporters believe that their leader can do no wrong but it is as clear as day that the man who wants to be the next president of Kenya made a very grave mistake when he hesitated to act decisively against Ruto right at the beginning of this rebellion and instead opted to treat him with kid’s gloves hoping for reconciliation. Clearly this only fed on Ruto’s ego and the rebellion has now grown much bigger than the small bush fire that would easily have been put out at the beginning with minimum casualties.
  
  As you read this Ruto and company are plotting to pull the rug from under ODM by resigning from the party en mass causing Raila to lose his premiership which the national accord pegs his majority party position to. Read the story HERE.
  
  Interestingly Ruto and his allies have been telling Kenyans that ODM is a dictatorship for wanting to force them out of the party. Insinuating that Raila would not have been labeled a dictator had he stuck to his previous pussy-cat-lame-duck stance of doing nothing against Ruto and company.
  
  What I find even more interesting is the language used by Ruto and company in their public meetings. Kindergarten stuff if you ask me. Statements like “they will do us nothing” would hardly be the kind of language I would expect from a national leader who seriously wants my vote for the most powerful office in the land.
  
  Indeed Ruto is so busy currently spreading his poison that it is easy to forget that he still has a very serious unresolved matter before the International Criminal Court (ICC).
  
  I know many of my dearest readers admire this Ruto man but to be honest he always leaves a bad taste in my mouth every time I come across his name.
  
  I end this Ruto post with a fascinating comment by one of my readers in a previous post referring to the aftermath of the punch up in State House involving William Ruto and a respected Kalenjin politician at the time Chesire;
  
  The "Statehouse Punch Up" ended up in William Ruto being cursed by concerned elders from the Rift Valley.
  
  The curse came to be known as "The Chesire Curse" with an elders' clause; "the arrogant and disrespectful young man (Ruto) will only see the inside of the '1907 government house' as a messenger or visitor or an outsider, and never as the main man incharge for as long as he's involved in politics".
  
  The curse couldn't be undone since the offended elder, Chesire, passed away before any attempts were made by both sides in terms of reconciliation and cleansing rituals for Ruto.
  
  Call it supersititious if you will, but time will tell whether the curse was a deserved response to some of the angriest implications of Ruto's role in the "State House Punch Up".
  Read more about Ruto and Moi secrets.
  
  Kumekucha’s Weekend Special is BACK with an unusual but very topical subject. Rupert Murdoch started with a small afternoon newspaper in his native Australia and single-handedly built the colossal media empire that is now under threat. Kumekucha brings you all the inside never-before told secrets that reveal the true character of this media mogul and the bizarre methods he used to grow newspaper circulations. No media practitioner should miss this amazing series. And nobody who wants to understand the evil ways of the media worldwide should fail to read How Rupert Did IT and Did Everybody In only in Kumekucha this weekend. Is Chris qualified to write this? Well he has been carefully following the man’s career over the last 30 years. What he produces is unforgettable. See you here tomorrow (Saturday 23rd July 2011).Kumekucha

  
  

• What Kenyans Don’t Know About How Terror Wins Elections

  Posted: July 20, 2011, 2:36 pm by kumekucha

  I can always tell when I strike a raw nerve somewhere in the big fat bodies of the kings of impunity.
  
  Judging from the threats and angry messages I have received after my previous post, there are obviously people who are very determined that nobody should link violent crime and terror groups to elections just now. I can guess the reason. It is so that Kenyan voters never realize what is happening until it is too late.
  Ask yourself the following questions which I have asked in this blog before;
  
  - Is it a mere coincidence that tribal clashes/politically instigated violence started for the first time when multiparty politics was re-introduced into the country with the repealing of the infamous section 2 a?
  
  - Is it a mere coincidence that tribal clashes/politically instigated violence usually break out on the eve of general elections, like clockwork and without fail? 1991, 1996, 2001, 2006 and the most violent in January 2008?
  
  - If tribal clashes/politically instigated violence are as a result of competitive politics causing politicians to incite the people, does it mean that before 1991 we did not have competitive politics in the country?
  - Is it a mere coincidence that most senior government officials and even opposition politicians shoot from hip when it comes to commenting on other national issues but when it comes to Mungiki violence and even most political violence, the silence is deafening?
  
  - If it is true that tribal clashes/politically instigated violence is the handiwork of various individual politicians with loose mouths (and not the work of high powered politically organized crime), why were there no tribal clashes/politically instigated violence in the run up to the referendum on a new constitution in 2005? And yet tensions were so high?
  
  The saddest thing is that many Kenyans do not know what political violence achieves. What is the point of killing and terrorizing your would-be voters, they wonder? Actually Kenya election violence is never an accident and the people behind it are not fools. Here is what violence achieves;
  
  a) Your opponent's voters are forced to relocate from the place where they need to be to vote. In many cases your core supporters remain. Those who remain who are not with you, can hardly make an objective choice when their priority is to stay alive. (This is one reason why the law should be changed to allow people to vote from anywhere).
  
  b) In the ensuing violence and the chaos that follows there is nobody to stop you "importing" thousands of voters to win the election for you.
  
  c) Violence spreads fear. The idea is to create very serious fear, then come in and quell the violence. It is then very easy to convince the voters that if they don't vote for the "people who quelled the violence" then the violence will return if the other side wins.
  
  d) It becomes easy to collect voters cards from those who remain in return for their lives and security.
  
  e) It becomes impossible for any candidate to sell their agenda to the electorate.
  
  In brief election violence and intimidation works. That is why people use it. When you are seated in safety in that posh apartment in some smart neighborhood or in some foreign country, it is impossible for you to understand what it is like to live in constant fear of your life in your own country.
  
  Are bank robberies linked to election war chests?Kumekucha

  
  

• Are Mungiki Back?

  Posted: July 19, 2011, 4:09 am by kumekucha

  Any journalist who has worked on investigative stories will tell you that not all investigations for stories get completed successfully.
  
  For weeks now I have been following up on what I think is a big story albeit very scary news. I would hate to be the one to alarm my readers for nothing and so I have resisted the temptation to do a half-baked post without the concrete evidence to back it up.
  Still this news is so important and secondly after the killings in Meru recently there is a clear trend and so I have decided to go ahead with this post and give you my dear reader the little information that I have so far and let you make your own decision as to whether my haunch is correct or off the mark, even as I continue to do more digging. The decision is entirely yours.
  
  Since the beginning of this year there have been very strange killings happening around the country but mainly in Central province and its’ environs that have the Mungiki trade mark written all over them. Indeed in some cases locals have clearly pointed out to the authorities that the killings suggest that Mungiki are back. Nobody wants to even consider that possibility and so these voices have been muffled. Even reporters and editors have been quick to edit the Mungiki link out of these stories dismissing them as unsubstantiated claims.
  
  But on the ground many Kenyans are living in great fear for their lives. A case in point is Muranga where a headless body of a woman was recently found. The body of Julia Njeri was dumped along Nguthuru-Muruka road and was discovered early in the morning. Residents suspected that Njeri was murdered elsewhere before her body was dumped beside the road. The head is yet to be found. Residents have been living in fear since then. See a video of this news report HERE.
  
  I have followed several other very similar killings since that Muranga incident in May with the latest being the blood letting incident in Meru. Read the story HERE.
  
  In my view this is all very worrying bearing in mind that we are headed for the most competitive general elections in the history of Kenya. Less competitive elections in the past have shed lots of blood and so what should we expect this time? Less blood-letting or more?
  
  Of course we also know that Kenyan politicians are a superstitious lot and ritual killings to complete witchcraft spells to win elections are usually common as we head to the elections with plenty of killings, disappearances and bizarre road accidents. However we also know that the killer Mungiki gang is usually most active as we head to general elections.
  
  Does the Mungiki terror group have any chance of resurrecting after the bloody so-called shut down by former police commissioner Major General Hussein Ali and his hit squads created to do just that? Read all about these hit squads and other unpublished secrets, like how all the dirty money was made by Kenya's top 5 wealthiest families, now. As I have said many times here before, wiping out every suspected Mungiki member in site is not the way to deal with this kind of problem. It is a case of dealing ruthlessly with the symptom and then cheating yourself that you have cured the disease. Besides those with good memories will remember that the Prime Minister Raila Odinga promised to negotiate with the group not too long ago, meaning that Mungiki is far from being extinct.
  
  And so clearly anybody who thinks that the Mungiki are dead and buried would be gravely mistaken. Still experts on these matters consulted by this blogger are of the opinion that it is unlikely that the Mungiki would have recovered enough organizational teeth to carry out the killings across such a wide area of Central province. To be honest I personally disagree.
  
  So the mystery remains; what are the bizarre killings all about?Kumekucha

  
  

• Mechanics Behind Raila Odinga’s Surprise Running Mate

  Posted: July 18, 2011, 5:12 am by kumekucha

  There is no potential presidential candidate for 2012 at the moment that has a more organized think tank than the Prime Minister Raila Odinga.
  
  What is a think tank and how important is it to a Kenyan presidential candidate?
  
  When faced with the biggest challenge of his long political career in 1991 president Daniel arap Moi was advised to constitute a think tank specifically tasked with keeping him in power at all costs. This is the group that devised several schemes including what later came to be known as the Goldenberg mega-scandal. Goldenberg was of course designed to raise the cash required to get Moi re-elected in a very hostile pro-reform environment mostly rooting for the opposition. Uhuru Kenyatta, the project presidential candidate of 2002 was also birthed in the confines of a think tank working on a viable exit strategy for Daniel arap Moi. Don’t laugh because it almost worked. Had Raila Odinga not led the revolt within Kanu that dramatically strengthened the opposition, we would be talking a very different story today.
  Musalia Mudavadi: Never cut his political teeth in the trenches
  Think tanks have decided the outcome of an election many times and there is no doubt that the candidate who finally makes it into State House as the fourth president of Kenya will have an excellent think tank carrying him there.
  
  But critical to any think tank this time round will be its’ ability to appreciate the mechanics of the new ball political ball game in town, courtesy of a new constitution that is already being billed, one of the best anywhere in Africa.
  
  This is precisely the reason why information leaked to this blogger recently about the kind of direction Raila Odinga’s think tank is taking should be of great interest.
  
  Raila’s team is of the opinion that women voters can be used to turn the tide in their favour and are determined that Raila’s running mate this time round should be a woman.
  The most influential voters at the grassroots have always been known to be women. But sadly they hate to vote for one of their own. However if somebody managed to package a presidential candidate whom they were sure would champion their interests there is little doubt that they would enthusiastically support such a candidate.
  
  This is why if Raila’s closest advisors have their way, his running mate in the coming elections will be from the fairer sex.
  
  The name that keeps on cropping up is that of Charity Ngilu. The advantages of madam Ngilu being Raila’s running mate are many but the most obvious one would be that she would neutralize any support that Kalonzo Musyoka may claim to have in his Ukambani backyard.
  
  Still there are those who are sure that Kalonzo Musyoka is a non-starter in any presidential race (including yours truly) and so any serious contender has no business wasting their time crafting a strategy to deal with a non-entity when real emerging opponents are in the horizon. And that is why chances are extremely high that if the PM will ends up choosing a female running mate then he is bound to choose a political nobody who has the ability to attract young voters and repackage the Raila ticket as a somewhat youthful progressive new beginning team.
  
  So… what about Musalia Mudavadi?
  
  For those in the dark, Raila’s closest advisors have always considered Musalia Mudavadi more of “a passenger” than an asset within ODM and specifically in their candidates’ quest for State house. The coming general elections will no doubt be the most competitive ever witnessed in these shores. Nobody can afford to even consider having passengers in the periphery of their campaign team, let alone as their running mate.
  
  There are those who remember that Musalia Mudavadi’s lukewarm political career was launched when former president Daniel arap Moi hand-picked him to replace his father, Moses Sabstone Mudamba Mudavadi, the man said to have given Moi a promotion in the days when he was a teacher, a gesture that Moi never forgot and it also launched a close friendship. Read more in my Dark secrets book. The point is that the younger Mudavadi never really cut his teeth in the trenches of political initiation but instead had everything delivered on a silver platter by Uncle Dan.
  
  Musalia cannot even deliver a fraction of his own Luhya backyard at the moment and so it would hardly make any sense to have him as a running mate. Nothing personal, it’s just business.Kumekucha

  
  

• Can a man who used violence to try and take power be allowed to be president of Kenya?

  Posted: July 11, 2011, 3:35 am by kumekucha

  The new constitution (what Kumekucha calls the wild hungry animal loose in Kenya today) is great because it gives great power to the people. But with great power comes great responsibility.
  
  One of the responsibilities that the Kenyan people will have to speedily learn how to handle is that of making their own decisions on character, something that was previously done on our behalf, for better or for worse, by the corrupt political class.
  
  And even as Kenyans vet judges and other personalities for sensitive public office they will also have to carefully vet various other characters for the highest office in the land. Yep. Although the presidency is not as powerful as it once was it is still powerful enough to cause concern on whom we want to occupy the office.
  
  Revelations that came out of the Truth Justice and Reconciliation Commission sitting in Bungoma a few hours ago (Sunday) are extremely shocking to say the least. These revelations highlight the role of the man who won the disputed 2007 general elections and the current Prime Minister Raila Odinga in the failed bloody 1982 coup attempt.
  
  The 1982 botched coup is still shrouded in mystery to this day (although readers of my land mark book Dark secrets of the Kenyan presidency GET IT FOR FREE NOW have had a head start with lots of information that has never been in the public domain). But what emerged from the TJRC for the first time on Sunday is a clear link between the leader of the failed coup senior private Pancreas Ochuka and Raila Odinga. According to Retired Kenya Air Force officer Maxwell Kivihya, Raila met Senior Private Hezekiah Ochuka several times at a house on Fourth Avenue Ngong Road in Nairobi. Ironically not very far from then President Moi’s residence at Kabarnet Gardens off Ngong Road.
  
  It has always been a mystery as to how such a junior officer as Private Ochuka would have led a coup (although there is a precedent in the Liberian case—see my earlier post).
  
  Other shocking revelations from the Bungoma TJRC hearings:
  
  • A day after the abortive coup, former president Daniel arap Moi ordered that all Kenya Air Force men be rounded up and taken for hanging at Kamiti Prison. The directive was effected and servicemen and officers were locked up at Kamiti, Naivasha, King’ong’o and Shimo la Tewa prisons.
  
  • President Moi appointed Brig Kibwana and Maj Musomba to conduct interrogations and torture of the Air force servicemen.
  
  • Four categories of KAF airmen emerged during their arrest: those with prior knowledge of the coup, some of who escaped to Tanzania; those without prior knowledge, but who were imprisoned or hanged without legal processing and representation; those who stayed in prison, but could not be charged for lack of evidence and were later freed due to international pressure; and those who were charged and acquitted by the High Court.
  
  • He also named a Lt Mwambura, Cpl Odero and Cpl Oriwa as some of the key players in the coup attempt that resulted in the loss of 300 lives, half of them university students and civilians.
  
  • Only a quarter of the airmen who knew of the plot raised the alarm at the Eastleigh and Nanyuki barracks and took up arms in readiness for the next order, said Mr Kivihya. Cpl Odero ordered his men to go to the Nairobi CBD and wait for the next order, which had not come by the time loyal forces from the Kenya Army caught up with them. A few KAF airmen who had been taken to Broadcasting House were killed there by Kenya Army men.
  
  What this blogger has revealed in the past that nobody else has ever discussed was the fact the retired President Daniel arap Moi opted to listen to an impassioned plea by Jaramogi Oginga Odinga and as a result spared the life of Raila Odinga. Jaramogi thus owed a huge debt to Moi. There is plenty of evidence that the politically sly Moi cashed in on this debt many times in the years that followed. This blogger cannot help asking questions like; did this debt help Moi in dismantling the formidable Ford juggernaut which if it had been allowed to stay intact would have without doubt removed Moi from power in 92? The original FORD members split into two major factions; Kenneth Matiba went with most of the Kikuyu vote to Ford Asili and this is what inspired Kibaki to form his Democratic Party (DP). While Jaramogi formed Ford Kenya with Wamalwa Kijana, Gitobu Imanyara and others.
  
  So to answer the question posed at the beginning of this post. Bearing in mind that the Moi government was just a continuation of the Kenyatta regime by the time the coup was attempted in 1982, what Raila did was what any freedom fighter would do. Indeed Mandela did the same in South Africa. But it is a very close call indeed considering how young the Moi government was at the time.
  
  But what everybody agrees is that the events of August 1982 changed Daniel arap Moi forever into a dictator proper.
  
  Past Kumekucha posts on the 82 coup attempt and its' political implications:
  
  82 coup unanswered questions linger
  
  Coup plot revelations by Raila himself
  
  President for 30 mins and the chaos of 82 coupKumekucha

  
  

• Another non-commissioned officer in Africa whose coup was successful

  Posted: July 11, 2011, 2:35 am by kumekucha

  …but he ended up dying a terrible tortured death
  
  Even as Kenyans focus on the events of August 1982 with new revelations by the TJRC in Bungoma, analysts will want to shift their attention to another coup in Africa also carried out by low-ranking soldiers that was unlike the Kenyan case, successful.
  
  Top photo; the dramatic beach execution of President Tolbert's entire cabinet, below: Video footage of president Doe 10 years later being tortured and then killed.
  
  Actually the Liberian coup of April 12th 1980 by 18 plotters (all non-commissioned officers) that brought master sergeant Samuel Doe to power (less than a month before his 29th birthday) is without doubt the bloodiest ever recorded in recent history.
  
  The coup toppled 66-year old president William R. Tolbert Jnr who was immediately executed by one of the 18 (Harrison Pennoh, who later proved mentally unstable). The rest of the avialble cabinet that was captured were all executed in a very sick firing squad along a famous beach in Monrovia.
  
  But 10 short years later President Samuel Doe was himself tortured and then executed on video tape. The video footage is still doing it’s rounds to enthusiastic audiences in Monrovia Liberia even as you read this. I carry some of the photographs from the video on this page. The most sickening cannot be published here and I have been forced to make it available only to my raw notes subscribers. President Doe's torture video showed his ears and fingers being hacked off and finally his naked dead body (hardly pictures I can publish here). Get instant details on how to subscribe to my raw notes NOW.
  
  But questions linger. How was it possible for such a young junior officer in the military to seize power without any backing from a more prominent person. Ochukah in Kenya had backing from Raila Odinga. There were rumours that Doe had backing from the Americans but even then military analysts marvel at how he would have pulled off such a thing.
  
  But even more startling and unbelievable is how President Doe was captured by rebels while still in office with hardly any shots fired. The superstitious point to witchcraft having played a major role in both cases.
  
  Here is the full gruesome details of the life and times of Master Sergeant Samuel Kanyon Doe;
  
  Samuel Kanyon Doe was born on May 6 1951 in Tuzon, a small town in Grand Gedeh County, in the Southeastern part of Liberia. His parents were poor and uneducated and belonged to the Krahn tribe. Samuel Doe had only accomplished primary education when he became a career soldier because of lack of other job opportunities. In October 1979 he was promoted Master Sergeant in the Liberian Army. He was in his 4th high school grade and attending night school classes when he and a group of soldiers seized power, assassinated President William R. Tolbert, Jr., and established, for the first time in Liberia’s history, military rule over the country. It was April 12, 1980.
  
  Since Samuel Doe was the highest ranking non-commissioned officer of the 18 plotters, all but him ordinary soldiers, he became Chairman of the People’s Redemption Council (PRC) that was created.
  
  The military coup is still shrouded in lots of mystery and surreal happenings. People talk about them on the streets of Monrovia today and link it all to witchcraft and the popwerful magic behind President Samuel Doe that turned against him in the end.
  
  But even the non-superstitious are hard pressed to explain the strange happenings For example how did preparations for the coup go unnoticed, given the fact that there was considerable political tension and also in light of the well-staffed U.S. Embassy in Morovia (over 500 people). Samuel Doe was not a publicly known figure in Liberia before April 12, 1980.
  
  The military take-over, labelled ‘a revolution’ by the 18 soldiers was extremely bloody by any standards and toppled the Government of William R. Tolbert. The 66-year old President was then savagely murdered by private soldier Harrison Pennoh, who later proved to be mentally unstable. Within weeks all of the cabinet that was available at the time of the coup had been put on trial and sentenced to death. They were all publicly executed on a beach near Monrovia.
  
  Head of State - Samuel Doe at numerous occasions reiterated the army’s pledge to return to the barracks but it was the usual populist talk by military dictators who get usually quickly get addicted to power. In reality Doe increasingly surrounded himself with members of the (small) Krahn-tribe. The US was greatly relieved when Doe maintained the country’s pro-Western stance and the bloody butcher was even invited at the White House. It was here that President Ronald Reagan made his historic blunder when he cordially greeted the man ‘Chairman Moe’ when he warmly shook his hand. Liberia received more political and military assistance from the US in the decade of Doe’s rule than it had ever received, despite an increasingly deteriorating political climate and human rights record.
  
  When in July 1985 the ban on politics and political parties was lifted President Doe created his own party, the National Democratic Party of Liberia (NDPL). He was the NDPL’s candidate for the presidential elections slated for October of the same year. The elections were neither free nor fair but Doe was declared winner with nearly 51 percent of the poll. There were numerous accusations of fraud and indications that the opposition Liberia Action Party (LAP), led by Jackson Doe (not related), was the real winner. The international community did not react, the US State Department ‘was pleased’. Dr Samuel K. Doe – he had received an Honorary Doctor of Philosophy Degree in Political Science from the University of Seoul during one of his numerous visits abroad – was sworn in as Liberia’s 20th President, and First President of the Second Republic, on January 6, 1986.
  
  One month after the elections Doe’s former right hand, Commanding General Thomas Quiwonkpa led an armed invasion from Nimba County, in the north of the country. Soon the rebels were in Monrovia where they attacked the Executive Mansion. Two years earlier, Quiwonkpa, who hailed from Nimba County, had been accused of an attempt to overthrow the Government but was granted clemency. This time, during the November 1985 revolt, he was killed, his mutilated body publicly displayed. The excessive and brutal reprisals of the Krahn-led Liberian Army against the Mano and Gio, in Nimba County, proved to become important stepping stones to the civil war that officially began in December 1989 – also starting in Nimba.
  
  On Christmas Eve 1989 an alliance composed of Americo-Liberians and Mano and Gio people, united in the National Patriotic Front of Liberia (NPLF), invaded from Cote d’Ivoire. The NPLF was led by Charles Taylor, a corrupt former civil servant under Doe, who was born from an Americo-Liberian father and a Golah-mother. An internal rift between the Americo-Liberian and tribal fighters in the NPFL resulted in a split led by the mentally ill ‘General’ Prince Johnson, from Nimba County, who created the Independent National Patriotic Front of Liberia. The Liberian army was soon losing control over a large part of the territory and Doe asked Nigeria’s president Babangida, with whom he presumably had common business interests, for support. In August 1990 the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) sent a 4,000 men peacekeeping force to Liberia, known as ECOMOG.
  
  On September 9, 1990 President Samuel Doe, on a visit to ECOMOG-headquarters in Monrovia, was captured by Prince Y. Johnson. How this could happen is still unclear. Doe was tortured, mutilated and finally brutally killed by Johnson and his men. All gruesome details were videotaped. The tape later found its way all over West Africa and the world. Images of the videotape shocked the world. In the confusing period following Doe’s assassination, the psychopathic Prince Johnson claims to have been acting President, for three months, before the arrival of the Interim Government of National Unity (IGNU) headed by Profesor Amos Sawyer.Kumekucha

  
  

• What happens to your body after you drink too much Coke

  Posted: July 10, 2011, 8:00 am by kumekucha

  Truth be told, there are few things I love more than a Coke, usually cool. I even drink the stuff when it is as cold as it is at the moment in Kenya. For those who want to recognize Kumekucha Chris a sure way to do so is to look out for somebody coming out of a supermarket (usually Tuskys) already drinking their one litre Coke in a plastic bottle. I am just addicted to Coke.
  So why am I writing this article? Because I have tried very hard to make the following information make me stop my Coke habits and mostly I have failed. And so in a last desperate attempt I have published these facts in Kumekucha hoping that this will trigger enough warning bells in my brain to help me stop. Let's hope it works for me and those of you out there who are cokeholics like I am.
  
  If you usually gulp down too much Coke chances are very high that you could develop heart disease. According to a study published in 2007 in Circulation, the journal of the American Heart Association, subjects who drank a soda every day over a four-year period had a 25% chance of developing high blood sugar levels. The Nurses’ Health Study found that women who drank more than two sugary beverages per day had a 40% higher risk of heart attacks or death from heart disease than women who rarely drank sugary beverages.
  
  It is also rather obvious that you’ll be fatter and you don’t need any research findings to tell you that. All that sugar will definitely bulge out in various parts of your body. Still (for those who want documented research) according to research in the Nurse’s Health Study, which monitored the health of 90,000 women for eight years, drinking a single soda every day of the week added 10 pounds over a four-year period.
  
  This next one is pretty scary. Chances are that you’ll develop diabetes. In the Nurses’ Health Study, women who said they drank one or more servings a day of a sugar-sweetened soft drink or fruit punch were twice as likely to have developed type 2 diabetes during the study than those who rarely consumed these beverages. Again the main culprit is all that sugar.
  
  Generally speaking, you’re bound to be less healthy ion many other ways. Several studies, including the 2007 study published in Circulation, suggest that diet sodas have some of the same effects on health as regular sodas, despite having none or very little of the sugar. Why? Drinking soda is typically part of an overall lifestyle that’s not very healthy: We know you don’t like us to compare drinking caffeine and sugar to substance abuse, but when it comes to your lifestyle, some think that soda is just like a gateway drug.
  
  There. So after writing all that angry stuff about drug dealers it seems that I am a junkie after all. Ishindwe!!!
  
  I had matumbo for Christmas... and no soda
  
  The Mutula Kilonzo you don't knowKumekucha

  
  

• If your ad appears here you get FREE SEO services as a bonus

  Posted: July 8, 2011, 2:54 am by kumekucha

  Getting your advertisement on Kumekucha, the highest traffic Kenyan blog, will cost you only a few hundreds Kenya shillings (Kshs 1,950/- or $25 to be exact).
  
  But it doesn't end there.
  
  When you book an advertisement you will get free SEO services for your website (and if you don't have a website you don't need to worry because we will create a web page for you AT NO COST) and optimize it for you so that your prospects can easily find you through search engines.
  
  Why is traffic from search engines so valuable?
  
  Remember the last time you used a search engine like Google? What were you looking for? A cell phone to buy? A budget hotel in Mombasa? Whatever you were looking for, you were ready to buy and so if you had landed on a page with all the information you were looking for chances are very high that you would have made a purchase.
  
  What are you waiting for? Contact the Kumekucha representative in Kenya now. Call him on 0727-217920.
  
  VERY IMPORTANT: Your advertisement is permanent on the site although you will receive the highest traffic in the first 2 weeks. And then the optimization work I do for you as a bonus will also give you constant traffic for many years to come. So you can NEVER go wrong. So what are you waiting for?
  
  Or maybe you need to see case studies from people who have greatly benefitted from being found on Google...
  Kumekucha

  
  

• Beware: Dangerous Wild Hungry Animal On the Loose in Kenya

  Posted: July 6, 2011, 6:38 am by kumekucha

  If you are in Kenya the animal will get you if you don't take precautions, you have been warned
  
  Please be patient and I will tell you about this very real and very dangerous animal on the loose.
  
  Life is full of deals gone bad.
  
  Allow me to tell you a little story that involves somebody very close to me.
  
  This man when to see his girlfriends’ parents and was promised her hand in marriage. According to him it was a done deal more so because he was talking to her father who is an old man. Old wise men always keep their word don’t they? He left a happy man and went to start making all the necessary arrangements including getting his wife out of an expensive maternity hospital in the city.
  
  Six short months later he was told that his girlfriend was getting married to a rich Asian tycoon. His girl friend claimed that her hands were tied; she had to do what her parents wanted. “But we had a deal (MOU—memorandum of understanding),” the jilted would-be husband protested to the old man. The old man got really angry and insisted that it was his daughter and he had a right to do what he wanted with “his property.”
  
  This true story has an interesting ending. The Asian tycoon changed his mind because of a reason that had nothing to do with love and the poor “boomerang girl” was left hanging. And because the jilted man really loved her he is back on the scene.
  
  Sometime last year the President and Prime Minister eager to get the new constitution passed (I am certain both have their deep regrets today) made a gentleman’s agreement with the 10th parliament. The legislators were worried that under the new constitution they would be required to pay taxes. They were reassured that this would only kick in when the 11th parliament came into the scene. Indeed the whole thing was put in writing with written assurances from both the finance secretary (Minister of Finance) and the chief tax man Bwana Waweru himself. Under the new constitution even if the president wrote and sealed a letter with his personal seal it would be null and void.
  
  And the greedy legislators relaxed knowing that all was well and they could continue with their reckless spending and careless financial arrangements and basically enjoy their last few months in the house. Only for them to get a rude awakening about to weeks ago when the taxman presented the MPs with a huge tax bill backdated to August last year.
  
  Everybody knows that story, but the big question is what triggered the taxman to demand his pound of flesh so suddenly and despite a high-powered MOU? Was it some political motive and if so by whom?
  
  Many Kenyans are convinced that somebody was behind it for political reasons.
  
  After some serious research I can today reveal the fascinating reason behind the legislators tax troubles. It will disappoint the conspiracy theorists but it is the truth.
  
  When the new constitution was passed a friend who could not understand my excitement (just like many readers here) wondered if the constitution would really make a difference with all the impunity merchants still firmly in power. After all even the old constitution was often ignored. I remember my confident reply to that which I reproduce here word for word;
  
  “The new constitution is an animal with a life of it’s own. There are going to be many many casualties to this animal, just wait and see. What we have done today is release a train that is unstoppable… not even the president has power to undo what has been done today.”
  
  As I write this we have in Kenya for the first time a toothless president who cannot appoint his cronies at will. This alone has changed the political dynamics dramatically. This is the problem when change happens so fast. It takes time for stuff to sink in and register.
  
  What is happening on the ground is that various institutions, now independent from the executive for the first time in history are carefully re-examining their positions under the new constitution. Especially because there are dire consequences to ignoring the constitution. KRA is one of the institutions that did just that and the result is what you see today.
  
  Admittedly there are a few more institutions that are still in deep slumber (like the Kenya Police) but you can be sure that the animal will get them. Even parliament is still asleep trying to flex muscles that it really doesn’t have any more. Just watch what will happen to the Tobiko appointment.
  
  We live in exciting times folks. Long live the new constitution with one important disclaimer; the animal will get to you too, so please re-read the constitution carefully.
  
  
  Moi and Ruto secrets past and present
  
  Property for sale in Nairobi and Mombasa
  
  The Mutula Kilonzo you don't knowKumekucha

  
  

• William “Statehouse punch up” Ruto and his 2012 strategy

  Posted: July 5, 2011, 2:37 am by kumekucha

  Nobody can deny the achievements of Eldoret North legislator William Ruto. Above everything else he is the only person to openly defy President Daniel arap Moi in the Rift Valley and survive to talk about a resounding victory. He is also the only person I know who has been in a fist fight within the precincts of State House (more on that later in this post). Quite a character this Ruto who has recently re-packaged himself for gullible Kenyans...na bado.
  William Ruto
  In recent days Ruto has been terribly busy marketing his UDM political party in Mombasa where he has already received strong backing from the likes of Chirau Ali Mwakwere and Naomi Shaban.
  
  And so it seems that Ruto will be a major force in the 2012 polls. Or will he be?
  
  There are those who quickly point to Ruto’s massive support in the Rift Valley to prove that the Eldoret North MP will play a major role in deciding who the next occupant of State House will be. Indeed the behaviour of many legislators in the Rift Valley seems to suggest that nobody can challenge the man successfully amongst the Kalenjin community. How many legislators from the region have defied Ruto only to turn up the next day hat in hand and full of apologies?
  
  Hi detractors simply point to the Hague and the battle awaiting Mr Ruto in the hands of the ICC. Hilariously there is a presidential candidate whose main strategy is based on Ruto and Uhuru not being around to challenge him for the presidency, but that is a story for another post.
  
  But assuming he will survive (which I doubt) it is not difficult to figure out the kind of political calculations that may be going on inside the mind of William Ruto. Any presidential candidate who captures Rift Valley is almost there and needs just a little more support from the rest of the country to get enough numbers to get into the run off stage (most political analysts are sure that whatever way one looks at things we will have to go into a run off and so what presidential candidates have to do initially is to go for the numbers first.)
  
  There is another school of thought that suggests that sly Ruto already knows that he stands no chance and is just positioning himself to make deals that will be beneficial to him with those who will emerge as the leading presidential candidates. This is what this blogger suspects is Ruto’s real game plan. There are many reasons for this but top on the list is the fact that financing a serious presidential campaign requires considerable resources. At the end of the day Ruto has consistently ensured that all his calculations have always ended up with more cash in his pocket. There is no reason to suggest why he should have it any different this time round. Ruto is not capable of attracting serious financing and although he is not a poor man it is unlikely that he will want to finance his own presidential campaign. Meaning that all he will do will be to position himself as a leading tribal chief to be courted by every serious presidential candidate for his own financial gain. Remember that this time round there are no cabinet posts to be distributed.
  
  Having said this I will be the first to admit that Ruto is still capable of pulling off surprises, mostly of the nasty kind. This is the man who did the unimaginable in State House, Nairobi a few years ago when he attacked and punched Reuben Chesire, an elderly man who could pass for his father. Ruto had accused the old man of going around and tarnishing his name by telling people that he was a con-man.
  
  Ruto, the democrat was also an official of the youth for Kanu 92 lobby group which dished out so much money to Kenyans in forms of bribes to ensure Moi's re-elected in the first multi-party elections of 1992. The inevitable effects of suddenly increasing money supply was runaway inflation, and was the point at which many Kenyans entered the deep poverty rut they are yet to emerge from today.
  
  The former cabinet minister who was very powerful in a regime that stifled the basic democratic rights of Kenyans like freedom of speech and association told Kenyans at the Coast over the weekend that they should not elect anybody with a suspect past. Hilarious stuff is it not?
  
  Moi and Ruto secrets past and present
  
  Property for sale in Nairobi and MombasaKumekucha

  
  

• Election Date A Secret Weapon Still?

  Posted: July 2, 2011, 12:24 pm by kumekucha

  When are we going to the polls?
  
  Now that may sound like a strange question to ask. After all we have hardly implemented the new constitution and the legal infrastructure is definitely not in place for a general election to happen. So surely I am putting the cart ahead of the donkey, am I not?
  
  Not really. Have you not noticed how election campaigns for the presidency have already kicked off in earnest?
  
  The sure sign that the general elections are due sooner than most Kenyans think has been the announcement by Gachoka legislator Mutava Musyimi yesterday that he is vying for the presidency. Musyimi is a meticulous planner and not the kind of person to jump the gun on a whim and go public way too early. His announcement yesterday is a sure sign that elections are just round the corner and sooner than most Kenyans may think.
  
  But what should really concern Kenyans is the recent tendency by politicians and the political class not to say anything to the public about how soon we may be headed to the polls. It evokes memories of retired president Moi who used to use the date of the elections as a political secret weapon to his advantage. Leading presidential contenders are busy criss-crossing the country but are silent on what all the urgency is about. Their behaviour gives them away.
  
  Actually what is happening is that other candidates are frantically trying to cancel out the huge advantage candidate Raila Odinga seems to have. Indeed if elections were to be held today, Raila would start as favourite. In fact the earlier the election dates, the more of an advantage it will be to Raila Odinga.
  
  But as I have said here before, candidates from the old order including people like Raila Odinga, WilliamRuto and Kalonzo Musyoka will suddenly find themselves positioned out of the running as long suffering Kenyans will earnestly seek a clean break from our past. And this is precisely why the front runners for the presidency this time round will be the most unlikely names anybody would expect.
  
  To keep up with times, I will in the next few days start analyzing the kind of presidential candidates that I feel would make excellent possibles for the highest office in the land.Kumekucha

  
  

• Tough Executive Decisions That Have Led Kenya to the Brink

  Posted: July 1, 2011, 7:08 am by kumekucha

  Last warning: prepare for the worst like you never imagined in your worst nightmares
  Every leader is faced with those terrible, terrible decisions. The more powerful your leadership position the more terrible the decisions you will have to make. I am talking about the kind of decisions where you toss a coin and if it is heads people die and if it is tails more people die. If you choose not to toss the coin then it is even worse because you postpone catastrophe.
  
  Faced with this kind of terrible decision early in his administration, our dear president true to form chose the third option as he has done many times before. The result is that even if you don’t know it yet (just like many Kenyans) we are on the brink of unprecedented economic troubles.
  
  You will remember that shortly after being sworn in on that most memorable day in December 2002 President Mwai Kibaki made his first speech where he emphasized that the new government would have zero tolerance to corruption. Looking back today those words ring hallow and empty because there are those who say that corruption has increased rather than decreased under Mwai Kibaki’s administration.
  
  In retrospect it is now clear as day that the president had very good intentions at heart but one of his major shortfalls was his managerial weakness of failing to make critical decisions with the speed they deserve.
  
  Try and empathize with his position as you read the following scenario. Those hundreds of wannabes who regularly get off imagining themselves in State house as president of the republic of Kenya please pay special attention and make a decision to withdraw your candidature. Quit dreaming only of the gardens of State house without taking into consideration the extremely tough decision-making side of high office.
  
  Imagine the following scenario for a minute. That you are the president of Kenya and you are having a meeting with your advisors one morning. You have come to the meeting with some enthusiastic proposals to round up all the drug kingpins whom you know very well (everybody in the political class has known them for years) and you also want to shut down Eastleigh because you know that most of the cash from piracy off the Somali coast and beyond ends up there.
  
  But your advisors tell you things that cause you to apply emergency brakes to your enthusiasm. If you move against drug lords in the country you will be sure to cut your own “political feet” because these are the people who oil politics in Kenya and you Mr President are no exception. Secondly the repercussions to the economy will be colossal. Cash from the evil trade props up the Kenyan shilling and indeed the entire Kenyan economy. If the hard drugs traffic is interfered with, you promptly interfere with the Kenyan economy and those who will be worst hit will be the common wananchi.
  
  And before you recover another of your advisors gets up with statistics showing you the disaster that will befall the nation’s economy if you dare move against Eastliegh and the cash flowing there from piracy in the high seas.
  
  If you are a good manager who makes decisions quickly chances are that you will opt to do nothing. If you are Barrack Obama you will think outside the box and create a third option that nobody ever thought of before. Chances are that it will be quite controversial but at least it will buy you political time and at least it will be a decision. But if you are Mwai Kibaki you will do the most dangerous thing of all. You will make no decision.
  
  That is exactly what happened in 2003 and tragically that indecision has caught up with us after a chain of events has quickly brought us to the current circumstances. I want to keep this post as short as possible so the chain of events that have led us to today will be the subject of a future post.
  
  The current situation is that the Americans are on the war path against the drug trade and are determined to shut down one of the busiest transit cities in the world, namely Nairobi. How do you kill a snake? According to the government policy in Kenya currently you start by hitting the tail of the snake as hard as you can and you follow this up by concentrating all your efforts on the tail of the snake (KACA tactics). But the decisive Americans have a different approach they go straight for the head and if the snake had a jugular that is exactly where they would hit with pinpoint precision. And that is why the two names of Kenyans were released by the Obama administration. The effect has been phenomenal. For all intents and purposes the drug trafficking business in Kenya and the region will never be the same again.
  
  But what many people are yet to do is link this recent happening to the catastrophe that is unfolding on the economic front. It started with the shilling going on a free-fall. As I write this it has sunk to it’s lowest point in history at one point exchanging at Kshs 91 to the green buck.
  
  After weeks of shocked confusion, the Central bank finally decided to react. What they did was predictable; yesterday they raised the benchmark CBR (Central Bank rates from 6.25 per cent to 8 per cent. What this means is that the rates across the board will increase… dramatically.
  
  Historically this has been the only avenue Kenya has followed to tame inflation. This time it is clearly the wrong approach at the wrong time. Most experts agree that what the drastic increase of rates will do will be to choke the economy and dramatically slow down what little speed is still there going forward. If businesses find it increasingly hard to borrow they will lay off people for sure and those already using borrowed money whose cost has suddenly shot up will pass on the cost to the consumer for sure, raising prices further. But the really tragic thing here is that all this would not have happened at a worse time when famine is spreading across Kenya and prices of the staple maize crop has reached where it has never treaded before in the history of the nation.
  
  Moral of this post: Had we made the decision to do the house cleaning way back in 2003, we would not be in the deep hole we find ourselves in today. Do not imagine for a minute that I am saying I would have done better than Mwai Kibaki did. Hell NO. What I am saying is that the executive job is one that comes with numerous terrible decisions that make you lose hair and age quicker than anything else can age you in this world. Those who are eager to be president really, really need to chew on that… and withdraw their silly pipe-dream ambitions. If you have been MP for 20 years and your constituents still have serious water problems, sir with all due respect this office is NOT for you. Go sort out the water problems first.
  
  Understanding Kamlesh Patni’s Goldenberg Scandal Kumekucha

  
  

• What Kenyans are saying: About our politicians

  Posted: June 27, 2011, 7:11 am by kumekucha

  Politicians are directly propotinal 2 evil/demons.... Nah tax payin,increasing ua salary the way u want and now a 'raw murder' of a potential future Kenyan leader! Huh,i hate u wit a passion!
  
  P.W.
  
  Winnie Kaburia Hahahahahahahahaha it seems ur 2 mad with the politician dea.
  
  Peter Waithaka Yes baby,i am! To b a politician is the last option i can dare be. Dnt tel me u lv dem wini. Huh!
  
  Winnie Kaburia Yakk! They r the worste pple 2 av around.
  
  Suez Kuchez Peter,Now, u can be one bt change ua wy of doin thngs- follw Justice! If we al sed dat, who wll brng change n clean up da mess already caused? Pour soul who got invlvd! Ma condolences 2th famly. This is too much now!!
  
  Peter Waithaka ‎@winni-am thnkin of dat @EVE am tryna dia bt its tormenting me vibaya!!
  Kumekucha

  
  

• Kumekucha Movie Review (classics): Forrest Gump

  Posted: June 25, 2011, 4:45 am by kumekucha

  In this life sincerity is much more important than intelligence. That is one of the main messages that this Kumekucha blog has been at pains to deliver since that fateful day in May 2005 when I wrote that first post. This movie has to be one of the things that has made me such a greater believer of this truism about life.
  
  And that is why if you still do not quite agree, this movie may just help change your mind.
  
  People watch movies for different reasons. I watch movies to be entertained but I also do it to learn about life as much as possible.
  Forrest Gump is an unforgettable movie that teaches about success in life. Every time I watch this movie I cry. Am not sure why… exactly. Maybe you can do me a favour and watch it and figure that out for me. But one thing I am not vague about here is the lesson which comes through vividly and poignantly in almost every scene of this beautifully made film.
  
  Forrest Gump is a 1994 American comedy-drama film based on the 1986 novel of the same name by Winston Groom. The story portrays several decades in the life of Forrest Gump, an Alabama simpleton. This is confirmed at an early age by his school principal who determines young Forrest possesses an IQ of 75. One would think that this would virtually be a death sentence in the complex world we live in today that requires us to increasingly think on our feet. And so it is surprising how well Gump ends up doing in life. His endearing character and his devotion to his loved ones and duties brings him into many life-changing situations.
  
  If you have not watched Forrest Gump, watch it before you die.
  
  
  Performance at the box office:
  Produced on a budget of $55 million, Forrest Gump earned $24,450,602 on it’s first weekend narrowly beating The Lion King which was on it’s fourth week of release. For the first ten weeks of its release, the film held the number one position at the box office and ended up running for 42 weeks earning $329.7 million in the United States and Canada. As of June 2011, the film is ranked as the 21st highest grossing US film and 45th worldwide.
  
  An extensive soundtrack was featured in the film, and its commercial release made it one of the top selling albums of all time. It sold 4.42 million copies.
  
  Read previous movie review: The Exorcism of Emily Rose
  
  Kenya's most popular brand new dating siteKumekucha

  
  

• Will Maize Prices Come Crashing Down Like A Sack of Potatoes?

  Posted: June 24, 2011, 2:29 am by kumekucha

  Kenyan potato farmers lose millions after bumper harvest prompts price crash. Will maize follow?
  
  My late dad must be turning in his grave with delighted surprise at the heights the price of maize has climbed to and feeling more than a little sad that what he had predicted and waited for, for so many years finally came to pass barely months after his final exit from this world (or as a friend so eloquently likes putting it—just months after hard drive crashed beyond restoration).
  Yep, my dad was a serious maize farmer in his twilight years and loved every minute of it. But for years he struggled with the problem of maize politics which hungrily swallowed up his huge capital investment in his shambas and prevented him from enjoying the rewards of a good profit that surely every farmer deserves. I mean farming is extremely hard, and potentially back-breaking work.
  
  Over the years every time it looked like prices of maize were snaking upwards the government would import plenty of iot and the prices would durifully come tumbling down.
  
  It is because I can identify with the farmer on this one that I get sick of reading regular reports in the media calling for the prices of this basic commodity to drop down “back to sane levels.” So if I may ask what are the sane levels? Levels at which a farmer can hardly recoup his investment from planting the crop? And as I am sure most of my readers do not know, maize is even harder work than most other crops because after you have harvested you still have to get the grain out of the cob and then dry and preserve.
  
  Admittedly Kenyans consume too much maize for the crop not to be political. And that is why the government has always been very nervous whenever prices of this basic commodity have threatened to head north. And yet in the same breadth the GOK (Government of Kenya) still wants to praise the long suffering local farmer for their resilience. Now it seems that patience has run out in farmers and the result is that many have opted to plant other more profitable crops. This is part of the contributing factor to the rapid climb of maize prices in recent times.
  
  But let us not dwell too much on the past because the main concern for most, even as I sense your alarm after reading my last paragraph, is what the future holds for maize prices.
  
  Just a few hours ago one of my informants in Western Kenya informed me that there is currently plenty of maize in Busia and it is selling at the throw-away price of Kshs 3/- per single maize cob. Sadly logistics do not make it viable for that maize to come to the rescue of millers on the verge of closing shop due to lack of maize supplies in places like Eldoret. Or in Kisumu where a bag of dry maize is now approaching the Kshs 5,000 mark. Don’t even mention distant Nairobi where there is the highest consumption of this commodity and all it’s byproducts but which is way too far from Busia. Busia is on the border with neighbouring Uganda.
  
  The truth is that there is really no good news for the consumer. All the good news is for the long suffering maize farmer. There are many clues to suggest that the price is not coming down any time soon. The crash that has been witnessed with potato prices will definitely not be replicated with maize. One of the clear signals that prices are not coming down any time soon is the fact that the maize being imported to alleviate the big shortage in the country is said to have a Mombasa landing price of about kshs 3,700 per 90 kg bag.
  
  The next harvest is expected in August and so September will be the month to study prices carefully in order to establish what the future may hold.
  
  And so I repeat my advice to all you dear readers out there to venture out of the concrete jungle that is Nairobi and go into farming rather than keep hoping that the prices of Unga (produced from maize) will drop soon. I don’t see it happening.
  
  Top ten maize producers in the world in 2009
  
  Country Production (tonnes)
  
  United States 333,010,910
  China 163,118,097
  Brazil 51,232,447
  Mexico 20,202,600
  Indonesia 17,629,740
  India 17,300,000
  France 15,299,900
  Argentina 13,121,380
  South Africa 12,050,000
  Ukraine 10,486,300
  
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  Kumekucha Movie Review
  
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  What is the secret that Moi can kill for?Kumekucha

  
  

• Kumekucha Movie Review: The Exorcism of Emily Rose

  Posted: June 21, 2011, 4:57 am by kumekucha

  Do demons exist? Can they be cast out of a person? Your answers to those two questions will have an impact on what you will feel at the end of this movie because if you are not sure you are going to be pretty frightened and apprehensive and maybe you won’t sleep too well again. Especially when it strikes 3 am (it is believed that this is the hour of maximum demonic activity in the spiritual realm).
  I have some pretty extensive experience in this area (that is a story for another day) and I can tell you without fear or shame that the answer to both questions is the affirmative. I need to add that the depiction I saw here is very convincing. To be totally honest I am yet to see something as convincing as this and believe me, I have watched many movies since my days as a movie critic in the local press.
  
  This is a true story based on the extra-ordinary experiences of one Anneliese Michel, a religiously nurtured young girl whose life suddenly changes on a day in 1968 when she begins shaking and finds that she is unable to control her own body. A neurologist diagnoses her with "Grand Mal" epilepsy. But clearly this is not a medical problem because soon after the attacks begin, Anneliese starts seeing devilish grimaces during her daily praying.
  
  The film is based on the story of Anneliese and follows a self-proclaimed agnostic defense lawyer representing a parish priest who is accused by the state of negligent homicide after he attempted an exorcism on Anneliese.
  
  Sleek directing and compelling performances carry this movie very well and I will have no hesitation in recommending it.
  
  However the problem I have is that it leaves one very important question unanswered. Demonic attack is never without reason and the first thing in any successful exorcism is finding the reason which will quickly lead you to the point of entry which needs to be sealed to avoid the subject sliding back. This is what seems to have never been resolved or even investigated in the real life story of Emily Rose.
  
  Watch the trailer HERE
  
  Box Office performance and other bits of info about the movie:
  
  - Towards the end of 2008, The Exorcism of Emily Rose had grossed $140,238,064 worldwide.
  
  - In 2006, the Chicago Film Critics Association listed the film in their Top 100 Scariest Films Ever Made at number 86.
  
  - Lead actress Jennifer Carpenter, whose "demonic" bodily contortions were mostly achieved without the aid of visual effects, won "Best Frightened Performance" at the MTV Movie Awards in 2006.Safaricom’s hidden source of HUGE profits that business journalists missed
  
  7 unexpected things that attract Kenyan men to their women
  
  What is the secret that Moi can kill for?
  
  Breaking News: Anticorruption activists kick out Prof. Ongeri and take over Minister's office for an overnight vigil till a new Minister is announced. If you can join them please make your way to Jogoo House 2nd floor room 204. Please take with you some bread and water.Kumekucha

  
  

• Kilonzo: We will deal with Tobiko Soon

  Posted: June 20, 2011, 10:56 am by kumekucha

  Justice Minister Mutula Kilonzo has cut out a niche for himself as one of the leading reformists in the country. For those who know the dark past of Mr Kilonzo that is quite something (more on his past later in this post).
  
  And so true to recent form, Mutula revealed last night that he has a few legal ideas on how he is going to deal with the “Tobiko problem” created by parliament when they chose to disregard recommendations and approve Tobiko’s appointment without investigating the claims of corruption and unfitting conduct from his past made against him by the public.
  Justice Minister Mutula "Reforms" Kilonzo: Promised to deal with Tobiko
  Now that is one motion of intent which must be going down very well with a vast majority of Kenyans many of whom could not hide their displeasure when Tobiko was sworn in alongside the more popularly approved appointments of the chief justice and his deputy a few hours ago. One onlooker commented in the hearing of this blogger that if Tobiko was as upright as his defenders claimed he was, he would have refused to take up his appointment and steeped aside. “I am sure Willy Mutunga and Nancy Baraza would have done exactly that (i.e. step aside) were they in Tobiko’s shoes.”
  
  I have been thinking hard about what that ordinary Kenyan said and the more I think about it the more sense what they said makes. Accepting to be sworn into office and smiling several times for the cameras (as if to mock those against his appointment) is the face of impunity itself and a clear indication of the kind of character we are dealing with here in our new DPP tupende tusipende.
  
  In fact it is interesting how such a seemingly intelligent man cannot see the serious harm he is doing to himself by taking up office with such baggage hanging around his neck. How will he serve the very public that he seemed to be mocking at the swearing in ceremony?
  
  Anyway back to our very reform-minded minister of Justice. Mutula made the revelations about his intentions towards Tobiko on national TV in the Julie Gichuru hosted Sunday live news on Citizen TV. However he quickly added that he will pursue his legal ideas at an unspecified future date because his immediate priority is to speed up the implementation of the new constitution. More music in the ears of ordinary long suffering Kenyans.
  
  But Mutula Kilonzo has not always been at the fore-front of reforms. In an earlier life he was known as former President Daniel arap Moi’s lawyer and close confidant. The lawyer used this position to greatly enrich himself literally overnight.
  
  Every story has two sides. This is Mutula Kilonzo’s version of his past life. But luckily you can also get the no holds barred investigated report that includes his dark secrets and especially what MPs were talking about when shouting down Mutula in parliament last week during the Tobiko debate.
  
  The Mutula Kilonzo you don't know
  
  Safaricom’s hidden source of HUGE profits that business journalists missedKumekucha

  
  

• Because of the Evil Monster Called 2012…

  Posted: June 15, 2011, 3:31 am by kumekucha

  ...Prepare for Tobiko as DPP mupende musipende… Mutado?
  
  ...Prepare to exchange the US Dollar At Kshs 100
  
  I know this girl who loves to watch horror movies. The more horrifying the better. Some of the stuff she watches is capable of giving me nightmares but to her it is all entertainment. Geez!! Fascinatingly the contradiction is that she cannot leave the room alone just to go to the next room.
  Now there is a really terrifying monster emerging on the Kenyan political scene who is already causing nightmares and untold terror. The bad news is that the worst is yet to come. That monster is called 2012.
  
  Horror scene number One…
  Is set to unfold this afternoon in parliament when the august house will vote unanimously for one Keriako Tobiko to be the first DPP under the new constitution. A man who has a big huge question mark over his life starting with a land deal that has forgery and impunity written all over it. A man who has been instrumental in making Goldenberg and Anglo Leasing go away.
  
  Yesterday I could not believe my ears and my eyes when one Charity Ngilu filled the TV screen to tell Kenyans that “the best choice” in the entire republic for this job was Tobiko. If it was possible to rewind TV news I know there are many many Kenyans who would have rewinded that particular clip to be sure of what they were hearing.
  
  But then we have discussed this issue here in Kumekucha at length over the last few days. We know that ODM and one Raila Odinga need the Maasai and Samburu vote very badly as 2012 looms large in the background. Raila must be president come 2012 so who cares if Tobiko is corrupt? Who gives a sh** if the man’s middle name is “injustice and impunity”? Raila MUST BE PRESIDENT!!! Everything else comes second. Yep including the rights of downtrodden Kenyans who have lived under a justice system that has crashed them and their rights under it’s foot. A selective justice system that asks’ “who are you in society” before it can prosecute.
  
  Watch this horror movie at a TV screen near you starting from around 2:30PM (Kenyan time) this afternoon.
  
  Horror scene number two…
  The 2012 elections will need unprecedented amounts of cash for those who own Kenya to push through their agenda. And yet it is becoming increasingly difficult to raise cash in the old days with a very hawk-eyed public. Make no mistake, stealing is still going on even as the small fish make appearances in court. The godfathers just pick new pawns and continue to steal. But I am talking about huge amounts of cash. The kind of money that turns the tide in an election.
  
  Keep that thought at the back of your mind for a minute as we examine the strange behaviour of the Kenya shilling.
  
  Experts know that the shilling has been faced with a much worse scenario than the current situation. Remember the January 2008 crisis and post election violence. That is precisely the time that we should have seen a free fall of the shilling. But strangely enough the local currency held strong amid the chaos. I mean those chaos were so serious that we were just days away from a complete shut down of the republic of Kenya.
  
  Now a few traders prepare to import some maize and the shilling sinks to it’s lowest levels in history. A Kshs 90/- dollar is just round the corner and analysts are advising their clients to prepare for a Kshs 100/- dollar and the full consequences. I have talked to various respectable analysts and all them have rubbished the reasons we are seeing in the newspapers for this. They tell me that the government of Kenya seems to be secretly pursuing a policy of devaluation. But why? And this is the worst time to do this because of the untold suffering to ordinary Kenyans that is bound to result. The answer is simple. Some deals need to be made and some cash raised. Who gives a sh** about ordinary Kenyans? Of course it is important for the political class to make the right noises and talk about the suffering of ordinary Kenyans. But talk is pretty cheap. The priority now is that cash MUST be raised for 2012.
  
  Watch this horror movie unfold in Kenya over the next few weeks and months. The woman called Kenya should just prepare to be raped by those who are supossed to protect her from the heinous assault... and I am NOT joking.
  
  P.S. What will happen is that the shilling will be in a free fall until the 2012 deal is complete. Then it will quickly and mysteriously recover. Prepare for the comedy of errors soon after as experts will give us all kinds of explanations as to why the shilling recovered so suddenly and so quickly.
  
  Update: Parliament predictably approved all 3 appointments amending the motion to bypass the recomendation by the parliamentary commitee to investigate further the issues raised against Keriako Tobiko. I agree with what a few members said on the floor to the effect that ignoring the recomendations to investigate Tobiko will not help him but rather bring him to office with a lot of buggage weighing him down. Time will tell.
  
  What is Moi's most guarded secret?
  
  Earlier articles on Tobiko
  Storm gathering fast over Tobiko debate
  
  The dirt on Tobiko and why parliament must reject his nominationKumekucha

  
  

• Storm Gathering Over Tobiko Debate

  Posted: June 13, 2011, 2:49 pm by kumekucha

  Parliamentary vote will be complicated over ODM’s Yes-No-No-Yes Stance on Tobiko
  
  Let us stand back for a minute and look at what is happening in historical context. And I am talking about very recent history.
  
  Lest you forget we are in the nation of Kenya where impunity has reigned for a very long time. Just a few short months ago, the president was the sole appointing authority for virtually each and every public office of significance. And where he did not appoint the old constitution said that all civil servants served “at his pleasure.” More recently as the reforms ship gained influence the president still had the power to make appointments and if you had any complaints you were free to go tell it to the birds. Nothing would change. Just to give you an example. President Daniel arap Moi in 1999 appointed the then DPP Bernard Chunga to be chief justice. The appointment left the legal fraternity numb with shock. That appointment was akin to appointing a student school prefect to the post of headmaster of a large national school. But there was nothing anybody could do about that (except complain to the birds). Chunga remained the chief justice until the Narc government took over in 2003 and despite the security of tenure the office enjoys the Kibaki administration found a way to replace him pronto.
  
  Now fast-forward to 2011. A man aiming to be DPP under the new constitution has just gone through a very rigorous vetting process. And at the end of it, the public is screaming with a loud voice that the process was not rigorous enough. Wow!!! Don’t you love the fresh new air sweeping across our beloved land?
  
  But there is more. Where ever one Keriako Tobiko is right now he has deep regrets. His desire for the DPP post has badly damaged his public image. Two weeks ago few people cared who he was. Now in the minds of Kenyans it does not matter whether the allegations leveled against him are true or not, people have already made up their minds that he is guilty and that his appointment must NOT be allowed to go through. I put it to you that the man would have been better off had he not shown any interest for the DPP’s position. I love this!!! The new constitution actually works. There is a critical lesson here for anybody who seeks public office in the new Kenya. Mambo bado.
  
  As I stated here earlier, Tobiko was a careful and thoughtful appointment crafted by those who own Kenya to protect themselves and the evil they have done in the past. After all the man has already done an excellent job of protecting the interests of these guys. Now don’t be so naïve as to leave out names from ODM from this list. Evils of the past know no political party boundaries I assure you.
  
  Now that the plot has been uncovered by the people of Kenya these people are running scared. Very scared. For sure they are unlikely to sleep too well tonight knowing that there will be fireworks tomorrow (Tuesday 14th June) in parliament.
  
  But don’t pop the champagne yet because it is difficult to predict what exactly will happen in the still very corrupt August house where money een in this day and age changes hands to influence key bills.
  
  The biggest worry Kenyans should have is ODM’s precarious position over the Tobiko issue. The party is fighting a desperate battle to get a foothold in the vast influential Rift Valley for its’ presidential candidate Raila Odinga. The PM performed marvelously well in this province in those 2007 elections that he won but he has since lost enormous ground after falling out with one William Ruto. Now nothing short of full support and backing for Tobiko will appease the Maasai community and give him a fighting chance of getting their votes in 2012.
  
  It is very sad that political leaders in the Maasai community and elsewhere have reduced the whole complex plot that is the Tobiko appointment into a simple tribal issue where they are alleging that those against him getting the DPP post are those who believe that Maasai’s (even those well educated) are not fit for such high end offices. Imagine that nonsense!!
  
  The whole issue of parliament and Tobiko is further complicated by the fact that PNU are also looking to gain windfall political capital from the situation by looking good in contrast to ODM’s “lack of support (or lukewarm support at best) for the Maasai”. What this means is that if the issue is put to the vote chances are high that Tobiko will win overwhelmingly easily collecting votes from both sides of the house.
  
  The only dim ray of hope is if the bid to stop debate and the vote so that more time will be given for Tobiko to be investigated succeeds. However skeptics are also wary of that scenario pointing to the fact that Mr Tobiko is an extremely sharp legal mind and must have been very careful to ensure that he left no evidence behind anytime he may have gotten naughty.
  
  Interesting times indeed folks. Very interesting.
  
  Presidential candidates and witchdoctorsKumekucha

  
  

• The Dirt On Tobiko And Why Parliament Must Reject His Nomination

  Posted: June 11, 2011, 11:48 pm by kumekucha

  Political compromise and horse trading main culprit in this new move to derail reforms
  
  A Kumekucha informant attending the proceedings grilling Keriako Tobiko for the post of DPP last week noticed a curious thing. There was a sheet of paper that Hon Ababu Namwamba was holding even as he fielded his questions and it had the Kumekucha logo clearly across the top meaning that it was a print out from an article in this blog. This is the article the legislator was reading and referring from. Yes, this blog revealed Tobiko's evil ways almost 4 years ago.
  Seeing this at County hall, my informant was upbeat and confident that all would be well and that the committee would reject Tobiko. It was not to be because as you read this the man already has a foot through the door to his new office. The devil is in the details, they say and Kenyans are about to get a very nasty surprise if parliament gives the green light to the nomination of this man to the brand new and extremely powerful position of Director of Public Prosecution DPP. Many Kenyans don’t realize it but this is one of the most powerful legal offices created by the new Constitution and enjoys security of tenure apart from being totally independent unlike in the previous constitution.
  
  If you read the information that was on the piece of paper that Ababu was holding you and understand the contents, then you will get very scared. Mainly because a man who was involved in such a dirty deal should be the subject of a long overdue KACC investigation and not a candidate for an extremely sensitive post under the new constitution. Indeed the post in question is much more sensitive than that of the chief justice and their deputy.
  
  The truth is that Tobiko was appointed to the old post of Deputy Public Prosecutor (also DPP) mainly to frustrate all and any new Anglo Leasing cases, a job that he has done extremely well. Clearly the biggest strength of this man is using technicalities to stall justice. We can therefore expect technicalities to be used to frustrate the spirit and letter of the new constitution at every turn. It is therefore not too difficult to figure out why some very powerful people in Kenya (masters and promoters of impunity) are so determined to have Tobiko in office. And they may just have their way. We have a fighting chance of stopping it if enough Kenyans can contact their MPs with a simple message “we are watching you.”
  
  What Prof Yash Pal Ghai Said About Tobiko;
  “…Now that Keriako Tobiko has emerged as the front runner, I believe I have a responsibility to share my knowledge of him publicly – my private communication to the nominating committee having made no impact.
  
  My knowledge of Tobiko is based largely on his performance as a commissioner of the CKRC. Under their oath, commissioners were to exercise their responsibilities “without fear, favour, bias, affection, ill will, or prejudice”, and without “influence by any political party, religious society or any organisation or person which may have nominated me for the appointment”. This oath, and the Code of Conduct, Tobiko repeatedly violated.
  
  Tobiko was the leader of commissioners who on the basis of lies waged a campaign to get rid of me. He led the group which went to see President Moi, widely believed to urge him to remove me. This did much to discredit the commission, but the very publicity meant that his plot fizzled out.
  
  He constantly reported to the President and some ministers, in clear breach of confidentiality and impartiality. He engaged in a campaign to disrupt the work of the commission to prevent the drafting and adoption of the new constitution.
  
  A drafter prepared a mock up of a draft constitution, with a view to presenting the possible architecture of the constitution for discussion by the commission. Tobiko somehow wormed his way into my office and removed it. Tearing away the front page (with its explanation of the purpose of the document), he made several copies, one delivered to President Moi and others distributed to the media. He told them that I had secretly prepared the constitution on my own. This story appeared prominently in the media, but fortunately was rapidly discredited as the front page was shown to them.
  
  During procedures to remove the first Secretary of the commission, for dishonesty and failure to perform his functions, Tobiko took the secretary into hiding and removed his phone to prevent the commission from contacting him. It was only when pressure was brought on him by his political masters that the Secretary emerged – and resigned.
  
  When the commission was about to start preparing the draft constitution after consulting the people, Tobiko objected, saying that people had not been consulted! However, apart from a handful of commissioners who joined him in the boycott or sabotage of the process, the commission completed the draft. Tobiko’s sole contribution was to take copies of our confidential papers and pass them on to persons who were not authorized to receive copies of them. Although a lawyer with a good degree, his intellectual contribution was negligible. I personally have no recollection of a single idea or proposal about the constitution that he made.
  
  He later became DPP, as a member of the system that has perpetuated impunity (most recently Ruto’s acquittal in the land case). Is he a suitable person to be appointed to the new more powerful office designed to eradicate this evil?”
  
  CIVIL SOCIETY STATEMENT ON THE PROCESS OF VETTING FOR THE CHIEF JUSTICE, DEPUTY CHIEF JUSTICE AND DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC PROSECUTIONS JUNE 8 2011: We have come together as a group of Kenyan civil society organisations to express our views and concerns on the process of vetting the nominees for Chief Justice (CJ), Deputy Chief Justice (DCJ) and Director of Public prosecutions (DPP). While we have no problem with the outcome of the vetting for the CJ and Deputy CJ, the situation of the nominee for DPP, Mr. Keriako Tobiko is radically different. A series of disconcerting objections have been raised, which cannot be brushed aside in the apparent rush to arrive at a political compromise. They require thorough inquiry.
  
  Approving this nomination without a thorough inquiry risks subjecting him to unrelenting contestation and opposition and hobbling him as DPP. More importantly, it also risks compromising the transition to greater accountability in Kenya. Concerns have been raised on many issues: on the process of Tobiko's nomination, which was opaque and did not meet the constitutional requirements of transparency and public participation in governance; on his track record as a prosecutor, which is appalling; on his integrity, which has been seriously impugned by, among others, Prof. Yash Ghai. A former Permanent Secretary has accused him of abusing his office and attempting extortion and bribery. He has been accused of facilitating an illegal land transfer and of sabotaging the prosecution of a case involving a former client in the same matter, while neglecting to declare his interests. Furthermore, he has in the past published extreme and anti-reformist opinions which, if he still clings to them, would show him to be unfit to occupy an office which is central to the implementation of the new constitution. These and other disturbing allegations are in the public domain.
  
  As such, the COIC must make every effort to get to the bottom of them before making any recommendation on Mr. Tobiko's candidacy. Any attempt to engage in unprincipled political horse-trading at the expense of a rigorous search for the truth in these charges and others will be rejected and opposed by all legal and constitutional means. Kenyans have not come so far in order to compromise on the possibility of real change at this critical point in our history. The COIC must be aware; Kenyans are watching each one of you and will judge you according to your actions on this issue. In our opinion, the multiplicity of deeply troubling allegations from a variety of sources, -that seem to be increasing - would tend to indicate that Mr. Tobiko is very likely highly unsuitable for the office of DPP. However, the impression is gaining ground that those who have an interest in the confirmation of the candidature of Tobiko have no interest in the faithful implementation of the new constitution.
  
  The aim seems to be to ensure that an individual with no apparent interest in, or appetite for, prosecuting serious crimes effectively, occupies the position of DPP, which is a centrepiece in the fight against impunity for crimes against humanity and massive corruption. An examination of his record indicates that perpetrators of serious crimes would have as little to fear from Tobiko Keriako as DPP under the new constitution, as they have had to fear from him to date. Specifically, the following objections- which urgently need clarification and investigation- have been raised to Mr. Tobiko's candidacy, among others:-
  
  1) The Process:
  The process leading to the identification of Tobiko as a candidate was not transparent in keeping with the values and requirements of the new constitution; as a result Kenyans have no idea how it was conducted, on what basis he was chosen as the best candidate, nor what criteria were used to select him. The Minister for Justice Mutula Kilonzo publicly criticized the decision to hold interviews in private. Has the COIC asked the panel for all information on the process, including selection criteria and all scores of all candidates? Have open questions on the integrity of process been answered? Have the reports which we are informed were prepared by the National Security and Intelligence Services on candidates been acquired where available? If there were any adverse findings did the selection panel make any attempt to address them during the interview process? What were the results?
  
  2) How was Prof. Ghai's complaint handled by the selection panel?
  Apart from the process, the public needs to understand if or how the selection panel chose to handle a complaint submitted to it by Prof. Yash Ghai, former Chair of the CKRC, in which he made serious allegations against Mr. Tobiko's character, integrity and independence e.g. repeatedly breaching confidentiality to report CKRC proceedings to the Moi government and receiving illegal allowances as a Commissioner. Has COIC been able to satisfy themselves that these allegations were properly dealt with by the selection panel? If not, what does the COIC intend to do about it?
  
  3) Mr. Tobiko's Integrity and impartiality
  Mr. Tobiko is accused of facilitating the illegal transfer of 4,000 acres of land in Maasai Mara. This land was confirmed by a ministerial report to have been illegally acquired. When named Deputy Director of Public Prosecutions he took over the prosecution of the same case in which he had acted for his former client, now the accused. He allegedly failed to declare a conflict of interest and recuse himself. Worse, he was accused of abuse of office and of compromising the cases to the extent that then Chief Magistrate ole Keuwa reportedly appealed to the Attorney General about Tobiko's interference and the danger of accusations of malicious prosecution. Complainants also appealed on Tobiko's alleged perversion of the prosecution. In its special Report of March 2006, (on page 42) the Public Accounts Committee notes that the appointment of Keriako Tobiko as Director of Public Prosecutions frustrated the progress of one of the Anglo Leasing cases; on the Forensic Science laboratory. The PAC notes that Mr Keriako, again, laboured under an undeclared conflict of interest, having acted as Chief Defence counsel in the matter, for Mr. Zakayo Cheruiyot among others.
  
  Surprisingly, Mr. Tobiko yesterday to the COIC professed ignorance of an important report on a process that received wide international attention in major media outlets around the world. At the very least, it indicates a level of disregard of parliament and its proceedings, which should give the COIC pause for thought in terms of Tobiko's likely respect for constitutionalism, or his honesty. On the same issue, in an opinion piece in the Sunday Nation on March 1st 1998, Tobiko and another basically approve of and threaten to incite violent consequences to clerics who strayed away from the narrow religious bounds prescribed by Tobiko and engaged in politics by publicly commenting on the lack of meaningful participation in the then constitutional reform process. Is he committed to defending and upholding the constitution with these past attitudes? Do his actions indicate that he still holds them?
  
  4) Mr Tobiko's Competence
  Through incompetence, laxity or worse, Mr. Tobiko has been responsible for the failure of several key cases, among them the fraud case against William Ruto; the failure to appeal in time against the decision to quash sections of the report of the Goldenberg commission's report referring to George Saitoti, and prohibiting the Attorney General from pressing criminal charges against Saitoti in the Goldenberg affair. Most tellingly, the intervention of the ICC in Kenya is the ultimate indictment of Kenya's judicial and prosecutorial services. What more does the COIC need to consider arriving at the conclusion that very few, if any, individuals, who have been involved in the leadership of these institutions to date is qualified to lead them into the new dispensation? Promises of reform failed to convince the Pre-Trial chamber of the ICC, why should they convince us?
  
  5) Mr. Tobiko's readiness to own his failures
  Mr. Tobiko responds to the above criticism by laying blame either at the police's door or the Attorney General's or others. Thus he claims that it was the Attorney General and not he, who presided over the shambolic state of affairs in the prosecutorial services; it is the police, and not he, who failed to produce key witnesses in the Ruto fraud case and others. Mr. Tobiko is shirking his moral and professional responsibility. Passing the buck between institutions has for too long been used to hoodwink Kenyans. It should be a tactic of the past, those who use it belong to the past. In general, Mr. Tobiko did not respond to all the committee's questions and was often evasive. In conclusion, the committee must find that the selection of the shortlist of persons for appointment as DPP was carried out with so much opacity that it cannot be relied on to produce the country's next DPP. The selected candidate, Keriako Tobiko, suffers too many moral and professional afflictions to be relied on as the next DPP, and cannot therefore be confirmed to this office.
  
  Nairobi, June 8, 2011.
  
  Very latest developments in this story: Gladwell Otieno, Ghai and NGOs headed to court to block Tobiko
  
  Earlier development in this story: ODM in new move to block debate on Tobiko
  Kumekucha

  
  

• Mwai Kibaki and Laurent Gbagbo Have Something in Common...

  Posted: June 10, 2011, 2:15 pm by kumekucha

  ...But life is not fair is it?
  
  If it was then this is what we would have seen in July 2008 because Kibaki literally invemted what Gbagbo did didn't he?
  
  Are you a late bloomer and don't even know it?
  
  How the 5 richest Kenyans made their dirty money overnight (not from drugs).
  
  Get a list of places to put FREE ads that will help you sell like crazyKumekucha

  
  

• Raila To Support Kosgey At The Hague: Why The Change Of Heart?

  Posted: June 8, 2011, 3:36 am by kumekucha

  Prime Minister Raila Odinga, Fred Gumo and Henry Kosgei
  
  What is ODM’s official position on the Hague?
  
  The party fought for post election suspects to be taken to the Hague rather than be prosecuted locally. After a rather bruising battle, they won and got their way.
  
  The party is also on record for saying that they will NOT support any Hague-bound suspects financially or otherwise. ODM was also against the PNU policy of using taxpayer’s funds to pay legal fees for the Ocampo 6.
  
  But last weekend the Prime Minister and leader of ODM Raila Odinga made an about-turn, trashed all the good work the party has done in the past in seeking justice for Kenyans and pledged full support for Henry Kosgey who is one of the Ocampo 6. This was during the wedding of Kosgey’s son to a beautiful Kikuyu lass. Read the story HERE.
  
  Kenyans are now very confused. If ODM fully supports Kosgey, why did they fight so hard for the Hague? And now that Kosgey is going to receive full support which obviously includes financial help, what was all the hullabaloo about taxpayers paying legal fees for the Ocampo 6 about?
  
  What clearer evidence does one need to conclude that ODM has no official position on anything. Party policy depends on what mood the party leader woke up with. Or which direction the political winds are blowing. This simply means that if the party leader wakes up feelng friendly towards Kosgey and the ODM members in the Ocampo 6 then the official party line is that of support. But if he wakes up in a foul mood or if Kosgey attends a PNU/Ruto meeting and tells the people to read the sign of the times, then the party position is that of absolutely NO support.
  
  Even former president Daniel “road-side declarations” arap Moi who used to craft government policy on the roadside was at least consistent. The former president always had a firm official position on everything, including wife-beating and ugali in sufurias. Not to mention mini skirts and KBC programming (Moi once banned a KBC sponsored programme educating the masses about family planning called Tushariane. Some hands-on president he was!!).
  
  But I will tell you why Raila Odinga and ODM are not consistent. The problem here is the fact that Raila Odinga is very desperate to be the next president of Kenya. There is nothing wrong with that of course. It is his constitutional right. But the people of Kenya will decide if this is thye kind of president they want based on his track record as Prime Minister.
  
  Sources indicate that Raila handlers have been very busy behind the scenes crafting ways and means for their man to politically win back Rift valley support which they see as being crucial to Raila’s bid for the presidency. And this camp is prepared to do anything to get this support. Hence the sudden warming-up to Kosgey.
  
  Anybody who wants change in Kenya will be alarmed at the PM’s pledge of support for Kosgey. This is the man who bankrupted the once very prosperous insurance company called Kenya National Assurance. It wasn’t even mis-management, the new blue-eyed Raila man just looted the State Corporation dry. He did the same with the 4th All African games held in Kenya in 1987. These are the two main sources of revenue Kosgey used to become the stinkingly wealthy man he is today. So wealthy is he that he was one of the major financiers of ODM in 2007. This is the “good work for the party” that Raila was referring to last Saturday when praising Kosgey for contributions to ODM.
  
  I also have to add that a successful Raila bid for the presidency is very wishful thinking indeed. Politics does not work like that. Consider the following.
  
  In the first multi-party elections of 1992 Kenneth Matiba and Ford Asili gave a very good account of themselves and indeed there are those who believe that Kenneth Matiba won those elections. Those were the Ford Asili elections. And so in 1997 some people assumed that Ford Asili would continue to be very popular countrywide and especially in Central province. Even Kanu strategists rubbed their hands in glee secure in the assumption that the Kikuyu vote would at the very least be split between Kenneth Matiba’s Ford Asili and Mwai Kibaki’s DP. Instead the whole of Central province put their weight behind DP and Mwai Kibaki. And so in 2002 some people assumed that DP would continue to be popular. Instead what happened is that an alliance crafted by Raila Odinga called the National Rainbow Coalition carried the day. But again in 2007 some folks made assumptions and again things changed. Those were the ODM elections and everybody knows that it is Raila who triumphed.
  
  Now some people are sure that in 2012 we will have a repeat of 2007 and that Raila Odinga will carry the day and end up in State house. This reasoning does not make sense based on what we have seen has happened in the past. Not only that. Nationally Odinga benefited from a strong anti-Kibaki wave so that the votes he received were protest votes. With Mwai Kibaki out of the way the protest votes dissappear and the scenario completely changes. What will happen is that Raila will have a strong showing in Luo Nyanza and nowhere else in the republic.
  
  Briefly told: Strange things in the Zimbabwean Voter's register
  If you thought Kenyans are good at rigging, then you will change your mind when you hear what is happening in Robert Mugabe's Zimbabwe. The voters register there has 40,000 voters aged over 100, "which is four times more than the number of centenarians in the whole of Britain." Then at least 16,000 of these voters all mysteriously share the same birthday of 1st January 1901, while 133,000 voters are between the ages of 90 and 100.
  
  The voters roll also lists about 230 new voters under the voting age of eighteen, including some children who are only one or two years old.
  
  But the biggest problem is that the current roll is based on the 2008 voters roll, which contains about 2.5 million names too many. These "ghost voters" are more than enough to decide the outcome of any election.
  
  Recently instead of removing these fictitious entries, the Registrar-General, Mr Tobaiwa Mudede, an outspoken ZANU PF supporter, has added more than 360,500 new voters.
  READ MORE
  
  Are you a late bloomer and don't even know it?
  
  How the 5 richest Kenyans made their dirty money overnight (not from drugs).
  
  Get a list of places to put FREE ads that will help you sell like crazy
  
  Wanjiru’s mother in fresh bid to stop burial.Kumekucha

  
  

• Wanjiru Murder: Possible Suspects

  Posted: June 4, 2011, 11:29 pm by kumekucha

  Left: Wanjiru's mother, Hannah Wanjiru and Right: Teresia Njeri, Wanjiru's wife. The champion runner's mother told a local newspaper last month that her son was murdered in the bedroom.
  
  Picture the following scenario. World famous athlete Samuel Wanjiru dies and even before his burial you start hearing about his mother’s lawyer and his wife’s lawyer. Do people need lawyers to bury their dead? I think not.
  
  And then today (Saturday 4th June 2011) Wanjiru’s mother Hannah Wanjiru, got herself arrested when she caused a fracas at a grave marking ceremony for the burial of her son. TV footage showed a very angry and bitter woman who even threw stones at the press. She was quoted as saying: “Who is that trying to bury my son before those who killed him are arrested?” Read the story HERE.
  
  The obvious conclusion here is that Wanjiru’s mother knows her son’s killers and that there is a vicious battle going on behind the scenes between the two most important women in the late Wanjiru’s life namely his mother and his wife Teresia Njeri. One side wants a quick burial while the other side wants arrests to be made before a burial can take place.
  
  Any murder investigator anywhere in the world will tell you that the first suspect when a person is murdered is usually the spouse. And this case should be no exception. But then this is Kenya where money, influence and power talk louder than anything else.
  
  It is now no longer a secret that Wanjiru was murdered. The post mortem report from the pathologists are conclusive in that respect.
  
  So what was the motive of his murder? The most obvious has to do with the wealth this young man had managed to accumulate. But there is yet another powerful motive. Actually it is still the number one motive for murder anywhere in the world after being the motive for the very first murder that happened. Remember Cane and Abel in the Bible? The motive for that murder was jealousy.
  
  I have heard some people say that Wanjiru’s mother is the main gold digger here. Can a parent, your mother no less, be a gold digger? I don’t think so. Although I have a problem with folks who use their mother’s name as the surname as the late Samuel did my two cents is that his second name clearly implies that this is a man who had very strong influence from his mother and must have been very close to her.
  
  Sigh!!! Whatever happens next it is important that the truth is found about what really happened in the last moments of a great Kenyan’s life.
  
  BREAKING NEWS: Loud powerful explosion on Kirinyaga Road (Grogan), Nairobi believed to be a bomb. Trailers and buses have tipped over and trapped several people under them. All windows at the nearby Shabbir Centre shattered and a Shell petrol station nearby on fire. Still no word on casualties and no official police statement on the incident.
  
  Why doctor's believe Wanjiru was murdered
  
  How the 5 richest Kenyans made their dirty money overnight (not from drugs)Kumekucha

  
  

• The Kenyan Woman On Obama’s Drug List And Why Our Women Have Fallen For The Heinous Trade

  Posted: June 4, 2011, 3:41 am by kumekucha

  I have this friend who met and befriended this cute girl and fell head over heels in love with her without knowing what she did for a living. He ended up discovering that she was a courier of hard drugs. He was genuinely in love and so he begged her to quit the business. Being a prosperous Nairobi businessman he promised to take care of her. She just had to quit the terrible business she was in. “You will never get away with it for long,” he told her.
  Harun Mwau: Pleaded innocence yesterday but failed to explain how he acquired his billions. Why would Obama or the Americans want to witch hunt a Kenyan businessman?
  
  She pretended to play along only for my friend to receive a call one day in the wee hours of the morning from Accra in Ghana. She had been arrested at the airport with drugs and desperately needed his help. He has not seen her for 7 years now and word reaching him is that she is serving a long jail sentence in that country.
  
  The reality is that so many young and-not-so-young women have been lured into the world of peddling drugs. The easy cash and the jet-set lifestyle of constantly flying to exotic capitals all over the world is something that not many Kenyans can easily resist.
  
  But let me indulge in a fascinating aside here. Why get involved in a business whose tragic end for you is so obvious and inevitable? The truth is that if you deal in drugs you will either end up dead or get caught. Interestingly people get away with other crimes and indulge in them for a lifetime up to retirement. But this does not apply to drugs. Instructively the Mafia did so well in evading the law successfully and remaining under the radar for so many years. However their downfall happened rapidly when they started getting involved in drugs.
  
  You just don’t get away with it in the drugs business. But will those involved listen? And this applies from the small timers to the kingpins. As you read this people are defending themselves and talking about their hard work and sweat but they don’t want to tell us how they rose from being lowly cops earning Kshs 2,000 a month to being billionaires literally overnight. We know how Manu Chandaria made his money (still much less than the kind of cash these guys pleading innocence have made so quickly). And we also know how Bill Gates and the Google guys made their cash, but pray tell me how did Harun Mwau and William Kabogo make their money? What business is this they do that has stretched to the United States? That million dollar question begging to be answered when people are defending themselves remains unanswered.
  
  Anyway we were talking about women in heinous the drugs trade.
  
  Too many Kenyan women have been enticed into drugs and that is why it was not really surprising to those who know this when President Obama named a woman amongst the drug kingpins targeted for sanctions. Ms Naima Mohamed Nyakiniywa, also known as Mama Lela is no courier or small time peddler. Police reports imply that the woman who was born and raised in extreme poverty in the majengo slums rose through the ranks to become a very major international drug dealer. Not everybody gets mentioned by the president of the United States of America and it is rather obvious he would not have the time of day to mention some small time street corner pusher.
  
  In fact Nyakiniywa has both a Kenyan and Tanzanian passport. The Tanzanian one identifies her as Mwanaidi Ramadhani Mfundo. This lady’s luck seems to have run out because she is currently in the custody of Tanzanian authorities and is being charged in that country for drug trafficking.
  
  Meanwhile Juja legislator William Kabogo has obtained a court order gagging the Standard group from doing articles that relate him to the drugs trade. Kabogo has oobtained an interim injunction restraining The Standard Group from publishing and broadcasting defamatory words against him in relation to violent crimes and drug trafficking. See the story HERE.
  
  John Harun Mwau has also moved to court and yesterday exuded confidence that being named by Obama will have no impact on his international business. He prefers to trade in China these days, he says. Read the story HERE.
  
  How exactly did John Harun Mwau (previously known as John Harun) make his billions?
  
  How the 5 richest Kenyans made their dirty money overnight (not from drugs)Kumekucha

  
  

• Harun Mwau: Obama Causes Trouble For He Who Has Caused Much Trouble For Others In The Past

  Posted: June 3, 2011, 8:35 am by kumekucha

  Obama Directs Crippling Sanctions Against The Honourable Member of Parlour-ment
  
  John Harun Mwau: Member for Kilome
  
  
  If truth be told, the Kumekucha blog has been a long lonely and very bumpy road for me since that ill-fated day in May 2005 when I decided to launch this site after the bitter disappointment of the second liberation that never was. Over the years, many times people have scoffed at the carefully researched information that I have published in this blog. But time and time again the truth has come out.
  
  For instance when I first reported about the extra-judicial killings going on in Kenya, supervised by the then police commissioner Major Hussein Ali, several readers scoffed at the kind of numbers I quoted here. Many still don’t believe those figures but I am not worried because you can be sure that the trials at the Hague will soon produce some very nasty shocks for Kenyans.
  
  The information on Ali and another controversial post about a major drug lord in Kenya caused me plenty of trouble and there was a time I had to flee for my dear life mainly because of these two posts. Occupational hazards, you might say.
  
  Still, I have always carried out my work knowing one simple truth. That in the end, the truth always comes out. ALWAYS. You can never hide it forever and history has proved this time and again. This truism was vindicated yet again yesterday when nobody less than the president of the United States himself issued a statement that is yet another deadly nail on the coffin of impunity in Kenya. I dare add that it is rather ironic that just a few months ago Chris Okemo was busy in bunge clearing Charterhouse Bank (which was associated with fellow legislator Harun Mwau) of all wrong-doing and was lobbying (almost successfully) for it to be re-opened. Who would have guessed that a few short weeks down the road both individuals would be on a serious list of most wanted criminals?
  
  I wrote extensively on the Charter House/Nakumatt saga and simplified the technical stuff (including what money laundering means) in 2006. See the article HERE. It is one of the articles I am most proud of in Kumekucha and now the icing on the cake is that finally some action has been taken on the contents of that piece of writing, albeit by the president of a nation that is far, far away from Kenya. But at least it is a beginning. The good book tells us not to despise the day of small beginnings and with good reason I can assure you.
  
  By the way if you did not know exactly what the term "merry-go-round" means when it comes to impunity and protecting those above the law in Kenya, then you just need to sample the following;
  
  - The CID accuses Wako of failure to act on criminal charges against directors of Charterhouse Bank
  - BUT Wako in turn accuses CID of failure to prosecute the directors of the bank.
  - The Solicitor General on the other hand accuses CBK for failure to prosecute anybody at the bank.
  - Meanwhile Banking Fraud Unit are asking State Counsel what this is all about.
  - At the same time PLO and his KACC are calling for investigations (by whom and when? Isn’t there more than enough evidence already?)
  
  This is the stuff that hilarious rib-cracking comedy is made of, only that the joke in this case is on Kenya and Kenyans.
  
  See also: Sharp Shooter Cop Who Suddenly Became A Billionaire Kumekucha

  
  

• Was Wanjiru Murdered?

  Posted: June 1, 2011, 1:20 am by kumekucha

  Update:
  Why doctors believe that Wanjiru was murdered
  
  Dr Emily Rogena says:
  
  “Taking into consideration the history and the postmortem finding death is attributed to head injuries, secondary to blunt force trauma to the back of the head.
  
  “The body demonstrates a dual pattern of injuries with features consistent with conscious landing on fours (the hands and knees) and fatal injury at the back of the head.”
  
  Chief Government pathologist Dr Moses Njue said:
  
  “He landed on his legs and supported himself with his hands. Where did the injury on the back come from?
  
  “We could turn into fools if we don’t ask ourselves this question."
  
  
  If you are reading this and are a person of means chances are that you will feel a cold chill going up your spine. And with good reason. We live in a society of gold diggers and worshippers of the almighty shilling. Individuals with no conscience and who will stop at nothing to get what they want. People who will tell lies in broad daylight and conceal the truth without batting an eye lid. You have reason to be scared and very scared. You may think you are pretty smart to have gotten what it is you have that others want but don’t think you are too smart because it could cost you your life.
  
  Preliminary findings from a postmortem done on the body of the late marathon star Samuel Wanjiru (pictured above) indicate that the injury that caused his death is not consistent with eyewitness reports of how the multi-millionaire died. It has been established that the injury that caused death could have come from a blunt object and not from a fall from a balcony that was only 14 feet high. Read more in this Daily Nation story.
  
  You may murder and give a story believing that dead men tell no tales, but usually the truth comes out in the end. Chances are that we are headed for a murder trial or at the very least a manslaughter charge of sorts. Thus yet another controversial chapter in the life of Wanjiru and yet more proof of the chilling words I wrote in my last post and I quote; “It is deadly to be a poor judge of character. It can cost you your life and more.” It is one thing to make a lot of money and it is quite another to have the wisdom to protect yourself from the wolves that will inevitable surround your house made of straw looking for a way to get in and devour you.
  
  
  Another bizarre murder in MasailandKumekucha

  
  

• China Shocker: Workers Build 15 Storey Hotel in 6 Days

  Posted: May 27, 2011, 2:33 pm by kumekucha

  Imagine leaving for Mombasa for a brief business trip of about 6 days and then when you come back to your house in Nairobi you get lost completely. The reason being that a 15 storey building that you did not leave there has seemingly dropped from the skies.
  
  This is exactly what happened to some poor chaps in a neighborhood in the south-central Chinese city of Changsha when workers recently completed a magnificent 6-story building in 6 short days. YES!!! 6 DAYS.
  The work crew erected the new Ark Hotel (pictured above) —a soundproofed, thermal-insulated structure reportedly built to withstand a magnitude 9 earthquake—with prefabricated materials. A crew of off-site factory workers built the sections, and their on-site counterparts arranged them on the foundation for the Ark project. Read more.
  
  And that is not all. Like in all prefabricated buildings there was very little wastage of material. It was also reported that there wasn’t a single injury during construction. Those in the construction industry will tell you that high-rise buildings in Kenya routinely claim a few lives by the time they are completed.
  
  I hope Kumekucha readers are able to appreciate the implications of this kind of speed in a construction project. Speed can revolutionize any venture. Imagine if you could make the kind of money you make in a year in only 6 days!!!! It means without doubt that China has to be a serious contender for the leading super power in the world today even as people continue to make fun of the quality of Chinese goods without realizing that a vast majority of the things they use on a daily basis are of Chinese origin. By the way incase you are not aware most parts inside the computer you are using to read this are from China. It doesn’t matter whether you are using a laptop or a PC. The same applies if you are using a cell phone or Blackberry.
  
  Most people don’t know that before Japan became such a respected name in quality manufacturing there was a time everybody laughed at their poor quality. It seems that that is a phase that the Chinese have recently crossed.
  
  I happened to know of some local entrepreneurs who are using Chinese prefabs in the Kenyan construction industry to their advantage. Imagine being able to put up buildings much faster than usual. It would have tremendous implications on cash flow and the financials in general.
  
  Other recent posts by Chris:
  
  Why this Bamba Monster called Safaricom will get you, you have nowhere to run or hide
  
  Ikolomani: Why the man with two wives won
  
  Why the next president of Kenya will be the "wrong kind of president for Kenya."
  
  Hot tip from Kumekucha: I will be giving regular useful tips in this blog starting with this red hot one. Did you know that even as you read this there are some Kenyans based in Nairobi quietly making money from all over the world (to the tune of $5000 and more every month without fail). This is their secret. Do your own research if you don't believe me.Kumekucha

  
  

• This “Bamba” Monster Called Safaricom

  Posted: May 26, 2011, 3:00 am by kumekucha

  If you will read this post in the morning (Kenyan time) you will be taking it in even as a meeting will be going on between CCK Director General Charles Njoroge and chief executives of all the mobile phone operators in the country. The main item on the agenda is the thorny mobile number portability (MNP) service.
  
  There is nothing new under the sun and to really understand the issues at hand it is important to understand the monster called Safaricom created by you and me and millions of other Kenyans.
  Those Kenyans who know who this man is will better understand what is going on in the Safaricon versus Airtel wars.
  
  What would you feel if you single-handedly created the cell phone industry in Kenya? Actually that is exactly what Michael Joseph’s Safaricom did. When he took over the reigns at Safaricom the mobile phone operator had one base station and one would-be competitor (Kencell, today’s Airtel) run by a sleepy CEO who did not believe that there was any serious market for cell phones outside Muthaiga and its’ environs. In those days it cost about Kshs 250,000 to own a cell phone and subscribers were also charged for calls received. This was happening when vegetable sellers in neighbouring Tanzania were already using cell phones.
  
  Mr Joseph with very little knowledge on Kenya and Kenyans headed straight for the Kibera slums where he started his talks to the curious poverty stricken Kiberians with phrases like “This is a cell phone.” To date Joseph has not told Kenyans the fact that his advertising agencies and so called “marketing experts on Kenya” laughed at him in his face and told him he was crazy and what he was trying to do would never work. Anyway at about the same time the Kencell MD (who was making much more sense to local marketing experts) was addressing Kenyans through press conferences on the then debate about per second versus per minute billing for calls with phrases like: “It is much cheaper to buy a bottle of wine at a restaurant rather than a glass at a time.” Most of his audience had never been to a smart restaurant in their entire lives and would never EVER hope to come anywhere near one unless they were doing the cooking or guarding the cars outside. So they would never understand what the hell he was saying in a hundred years. The ones who understood did not care less about what they were being charged for their calls. Indeed some of them were pretty upset that the price for a mobile phone was rapidly dropping from the status symbol pricing of Kshs 250,000. Did you hear the story about the man in Karen who when driving past one day angrily threw his cell phone in the bush on seeing a night watchman using one as he walked to work?
  
  Anyway you all know how that business fairy tale ended. Today Safaricom is a multi-billion shilling company, by far the most profitable enterprise in history in East and Central Africa and well beyond. Kencell has basically been struggling and has changed hands several times.
  
  With this kind of historical background, if you were Safaricom wouldn’t you quite rightly feel that you owned the mobile phone industry in Kenya? And that anybody else trying to take away the customers you literally created has no right to do so? Those who will appreciate what I am saying here are entrepreneurs who know how hard it is to make one single sale let alone create and grab millions of faithful customers.
  
  And with this kind of knowledge you will appreciate where the problem is. Fellow Kenyans we have created a monster called Safaricom and now that we have discovered the joys of cheaper calls we can’t just wish them away. In fact we cannot simply shout “I divorce you” three times and expect her to go away. Or at the very least behave themselves as we welcome our new younger and more desirable wife called Airtel.
  
  The truth is that Safaricom’s super profits have come from our blood and sweat money. The company is still making profits even as they charge much lower tariffs. That is the truth.
  
  To understand how companies that dominate rapidly growing markets can be uncontrollable monsters later when other players want a level playing field read the story of the richest man in history. One John D. Rockefeller. Interestingly Kenyans have in recent days seen for themselves the power of oil companies against EVEN legislation and the laws of a country. Indeed oil companies have organized regime changes in very many countries and it all started with Rockefeller’s monopolistic business tactics. But that is a story for another day.
  
  In short I do not envy Bwana Njoroge and his CCK and my bet is that the meeting this morning will resolve nothing. The truth for ordinary Kenyans is that it is very difficult to move from Safaricom while retaining your cell phone number. Read this article. That is the truth!!
  
  Other recent posts by Chris:
  Ikolomani: Why the man with two wives won
  
  Why the next president of Kenya will be the "wrong kind of president for Kenya."
  
  Hot tip from Kumekucha: Did you know that even as you read this there are some Kenyans based in Nairobi quietly making money from all over the world (to the tune of $5000 and more every month without fail). This is their secret. Do your own research if you don't believe meKumekucha

  
  

• Ikolomani: Why Bloody primitive bull fighting did the trick

  Posted: May 23, 2011, 1:05 am by kumekucha

  "The by-election in Ikolomani is a pratice match for ODM because it will define how 2012 will go".
  – Hon James Orengo before ODM was floored at the constituency.
  
  ODM bigwigs will of course be putting up a brave face this morning but if you want to know the truth, they are shaking and shaking really violently in their boots. And with good reason too because Dr Bonny Khalwale took on ODM head on and ended up re-capturing his parliamentary seat.
  The bull fighting gynae with his two wives Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} Adelaide (right) and Josephine.
  
  UPDATE: This lady who is a big fun of Kumekucha has posed the question: what are the sleeping arrangements in a polygamous home? Well, I wrote an article about that here in Kumekucha quite some time back. Read it HERE
  AND here is a hilarious quote from that article: You can imagine the man reading the Nation in the sitting room and one of the wives approaching him meekly to ask him which of them it would be for the night. And then the man still behind his newspaper muttering a name: "mama so and so." Really hilarious stuff. But the joke is not funny for the women who have to put up with it. I have absolutely no idea how they do it.
  -----------------------------------------------------------------
  
  James Orengo of ODM famously said that the Ikolomani by-election will define 2012 and although things did not quite go the way he and his colleagues at Orange house had anticipated his statement still holds very true. What happened in Ikolomani yesterday gives us all a pretty good picture of what we should expect in 2012.
  
  Political party bigwigs in PNU and ODM just don’t get it, do they? Their actions during the numerous by elections we have gone through since last year suggest that they are a tad slow between the ears. Or is it just more comfortable to hang onto mirages and dreams of yesteryears when you reach a certain age? These guys have continued to spend huge sums of money trying to flex their political muscles at the constituency level in a bid to boost or retain their national numbers. But time and again the voters on the ground have resisted what they quite rightly see as an invasion from outsiders. They have enjoyed the cash bribes lavished on them but voted soberly. And that is exactly is what happened at Ikolomani. Out of the 24 constituencies in Western province ODM has no less than 19 seats. The assumption is that the party will retain its’ popularity in Western province come 2012. What rubbish!! It is the same dream some poor Kenyans have over the presidency gauging the popularity of one Raila Odinga on the 2007 General elections (which he won emphatically but was denied giving inspiration to that chap at the Ivory Coast who tried to do a Kibaki with laughable results). The political reality is that a huge percentage of Raila votes in 2007 were actually protest votes against Mwai Kibaki. Remove Mwai Kibaki from the equation and Raila loses a couple of million votes. Just wait and see. And so the 19 ODM seats in Western province mean nothing but then boys will always be boys with their silly games.
  
  The chaps at Orange house in Nairobi who decided that it was a good idea to try and flex their muscles in Ikolomani to prove a political point have not woken up very well this morning. Admittedly the fortune spent by the party gave a respectable 10,702 votes to Bernard Shinali (the man fronted by the party) against Dr Bonny Khalwale’s 13,208. Some analysts reckon that this was a very close race. I don’t share that view, not when this was a by election with the usual low turn out, undue outside interference by idle political party secretariat hangers-on etc.
  
  And it is not just the politicians who never seem to get it. Kenyans in big cities (a vast percentage of Kumekucha voters) and the mainstream press sometimes think that Kenya is the United States or Great Britain. Their sophistication tells them that Dr Bonny Khalwale, a polygamist who spends most of his time getting tickled by bull fights that leave poor cows gored and badly bleeding, is not a serious man. Indeed the guy mostly looks like a typical Ikolomani residence himself in the way he dresses when he is at “ingo.” And so they pass judgment and cheer the challenger forgetting that on the ground Dr Khalwale is extremely popular.
  
  The other important point to take home from the by-election is that Kenyans should prepare for the era of the independent. Chances are that even the next president of Kenya may just be an independent. Khalwale was not an independent but contrary to what the folks at New Ford Kenya want to think, Khalwale’s win had absolutely nothing to do with the alleged popularity of the party. Ikolmani people voted for the Gynaecologist doctor cum bull fighting maestro and NOT a political party. We are bound to see much more of the same all over the country in 2012.
  
  Why the wrong kind of president for Kenya will win in 2012
  
  P.S. Nobody is talking about the Kitendawili I gave in my post yesterday. How come?Kumekucha

  
  

• Introducing some very unlikely front runners for the presidency in 2012

  Posted: May 22, 2011, 11:49 pm by kumekucha

  Gacoka legislator Mutava Musyimi believes that his life is in danger mainly because of his intention to run for the presidency in 2012.
  
  Well to be honest he did not really put it as directly as that. He clothed it all nicely in political-speak. Read the story for yourself HERE.
  
  Like many before him Hon Musyimi has made a number of very basic political mistakes in this his maiden appearance in the August house. Like tabling bills without doing the necessary groundwork first (too elementary for a person of his standing surely and the excuse of wanting to play to “his gallery” just doesn’t wash). In my view the former leader of the NCCK also lost a golden chance to show true leadership during the referendum for the new constitution. In my book a true leader will resist the flow of the river (no matter how strong it is) if it is going in the wrong direction and as a matter of principal back an unpopular horse and use their influence to gather support in their constituency. I still cringe when memories of dignified Musyimi standing right next to William Ruto float back to my mind. I mean the guy was brushing shoulders and actually consulting with the Kalenjin war lord. Over what??? What can the two men honestly discuss in the next 200 years?
  
  Anyway my point is that despite his mistakes, Hon Musyimi is a man with a very solid background and reputation that nobody can take away from him. He is not the kind of parliamentarian to call a press conference to peddle lies or to spin stuff to his advantage. And so I honestly believe that his life is in danger and that the people who want him dead are not interested in land issues. They are disturbed about the Reverend’s chances of making a decent stab at the highest office in the land.
  
  Now that is a strange thing for Kumekucha to say when everybody knows that according to the polls the front runners for the office are names we have always heard, the usual suspects really. Big names like Raila "Kitendawili" Odinga, Uhuru “The Hague” Kenyatta, Kalonzo “YES-NO-NO-YES-YES Musyoka etc. But I insist that these are NOT the names you will be seeing on the leader board in 2012. Indeed I put it to you good folks that the names in those elections will be a riddle of sorts. Very strange names of people you would hardly expect. Aliens from Mars… almost. It will be a reflection of just how fed up we Kenyans have become of being cheated as very selfish and self-serving political games are being played behind the scenes.
  
  The thugs who broke into Hon Musyimi’s house at Karen armed to the teeth with the kind of weapons that send people to the next world with absolute certainty like the Russian made automatic weapon called an AK47 (Did you know that this popular death merchant was invented by a guy who never got rich called Mikhail Kalashnikov. It is officially known as Avtomat Kalashnikova and the “47” comes from the year it was first introduced into the Soviet military?) were sent by people who have already figured out the information you are reading here but still refusing to believe. And these people who want the precious presidency of the banana republic called Kenya for themselves want to use the age-old political weapon of assassination to make sure that the likes of Musyimi and “other wrong presidents for Kenya” do not see the inside of State house. Folks you will already be aware that some people are saying that the very constitutionally nominated Chief Justice is the wrong Chief Justice for Kenya. These people if you really pushed them for their honest views will tell you that the unconstitutionally appointed Chief Justice that the President tried to force down our throats a few months ago and any other appointees he might want to pull out of his magic hat is “the right chief justice for Kenya.”
  
  And so my dear brothers and sisters, please get prepared for “the wrong kind of president for Kenya” to get elected in 2012 and to carry us all to the Promised Land that we have always yearned for but never gotten to.
  
  I can hear you impatiently wondering who the other unlikely front runners for the presidency are. Sadly I cannot drop names at this point because I will upset the apple cart and some very sensitive negotiations going on behind the scenes. But I will tell you this. Beware of people who are too eager to lead. That is a valuable gem of a lesson I learnt that you can use anywhere, even in the appointment of your next CEO for that small business you are running somewhere. People who are too eager to lead are proud folks who assume plenty of things and are quick to rubbish the achievements of their predecessors. Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} And they usually end up falling flat on their faces. I will mention three names. Jakaya Kikwete of Tanzania and Mwai Kibaki of Kenya and Kalonzo “YES-NO-NO-YES-YES Musyoka of Kenya.
  
  Hopefully the next president of Kenya is a man who is at this time agonizing over the huge responsibility Kenyans want to place on their inexperienced shoulders. They would be much more comfortable staying in the shadows and supporting somebody else. Integrity is going to be the key qualification here folks and not experience and you can take that to your bank. This man or woman is wondering whether they are really up to it. They have plenty of doubts and yet cannot resist the opportunity to once again sacrifice all for the motherland like they have already done before. I am talking about two possible candidates. Stay tuned for more in the coming months.
  
  P.S. I was talking to this old wise man the other day and he dropped a riddle that fits the current Kenyan landscape perfectly. I will tell it and then leave you to figure it out.
  
  One day these rats had a meeting to discuss the cat. They all knew that if they joined hands and got rid of the cat they would live happily ever after and feed to their fill. But they also knew that it would require sacrifice and selflessness because in felling the cat a few of them would have to die and become “cat meal”. Now we all know that rats by nature are very greedy and selfish and that is where their plan hit a snag. There was nobody willing to sacrifice their lives for a better tomorrow for all rats. And so to this day the Cat continues to reign supreme (despite what the very popular Tom and Jerry cartoon would want you to believe).
  
  Work that one out for yourself and I will tell you more tomorrow peeps.Kumekucha

  
  

• Prediction: The future of Uhuru Kenyatta and the KKK alliance

  Posted: April 11, 2011, 12:44 pm by kumekucha

  Chris Kumekucha is BACK!!!
  
  It is now going to 3 months since I lost my dad and clearly it seems that it will forever be an uphill task for me to get over his death, more so because of the circumstances surrounding his sudden death (a tale for another day). But today I have a story to tell that involves him that helps point clearly to the future of the so-called KKK alliance and Uhuru Kenyatta which I want to tell today.
  
  
  I know most of my dear readers hate “kumekucha’s history lessons” but please bear with me because the story is fascinating.
  
  At the time this happened my late dad was the top cop in Western province. He happened to be in Nairobi and walked into what was in those days the Nairobi area senior police officer’s mess. It is situated within Nairobi area police headquarters. He found another senior police officer who also happens to be from the Kamba tribe (name with-held). As they started their conversation he noticed at the corner of the bar one Ben Gethi (pictured on this page). Every policeman knew of the man’s antics and he was greatly feared because he had president Kenyatta’s ear and was behind some very cruel things done to people who for some reason were “not loyal” to the Kenyatta administration. For instance the standard “signature” for assassinations by Kenyatta’s inner circle was to cut off the private parts of their victim and stuff them inside his mouth. It is widely believed that this was done when they were still alive.
  
  So this other top cop started telling off my dad in their mother tongue. He was angry at his stubbornness in refusing to take the oath of loyalty to the Kenyatta government. A quick background is necessary here for clarity. What had happened was that after the assassination of Tom Mboya in 1969 and JM Kariuki in 1975, Kenyatta’s inner circle, led by the dreaded Kiambu mafia started having weekend sessions of oath-taking. It is said that this primitive sessions required a person to strip completely naked amongst other detestable things involved in this kind of dreary business. This was the oath my dads’ colleague had taken and felt that my dad should have also taken. It was said in those days that promotion would be impossible for those who had not taken the oath. At some point the same Kiambu mafia went as far as taking an oath that the presidency would never cross River Chania. This is the river that marks the border between Kiambu Kikuyus and Nyeri Kikuyus. JM Kariuki was originally from Nyeri. Just imagine the cockiness behind this thinking (they were already sure that the presidency would never leave the Kikuyu community and were now concerned that it would never leave Kiambu Kikuyuland, where President Kenyatta hailed from).
  
  My dad noticed that Gethi appeared to be leaning towards their direction as if trying to catch what they were talking about (Ben Gethi was a Kikuyu but many Kikuyus can easily understand Kamba because the two dialects have many similarities). According to my dad he felt that his life was in real danger and chances were that he would be followed the minute he left the officer’s mess. It had happened many times before to others with tragic consequences. He decided that he was not going to be such an easy target. And so he ordered a beer and carefully poured out most of it into his glass as he if he was going to stick around for a long time. And then after a few minutes he casually walked towards the gents. He quickly found a way out of the place and drove away ensuring that he was not being followed. He survived somehow despite his very principled approach at a very difficult time. The people who talk that oath for promotion had terrible ends to their lives, including Ben Gethi himself.
  
  I want to draw your attention to the oath that was taken to block the presidency from crossing the River Chania. Well, president Kibaki hails from Nyeri which is on the other side of the Chania. Some of my readers may not take this very seriously but an oath is a terrible thing. It is instructive that Kibaki’s presidency has been very shaky right from the start and now it looks like he will end up on trial at the Hague for being the main cause behind the crimes against humanity that happened in Kenya in January 2008 (that is why he is so keen to defend the Ocampo six and is still fighting a losing battle to have the case brought back home where he can control things.) But even more interesting is the fact that there is now an alliance between the Nyeri man (Kibaki) and the son of the man under whose presidency an oath was taken to ensure that the presidency would never reach his kind. Spiritual experts say that the alliance of convenience between Kibaki and Uhuru cannot last (because of the oath). They also insist that the sins of the father (President Kenyatta) are sure to follow his son (Uhuru Kenyatta). The blood spilled during the Kenyatta presidency is still crying out to God from the ground (let alone the one innocent blood shed in 2008) which makes the numerous prayers the man seems to thrive in dodgy at best. This may sound like mumbo jumbo and stuff for the superstitious but why don’t we wait and see what happens, shall we?
  
  Ben Gethi was more powerful than most people imagined
  
  More on the dreaded Ben GethiKumekucha

  
  

• Is Raila Odinga evil or a man whose hands are tied?

  Posted: January 10, 2011, 9:29 am by kumekucha

  You can be sure that decades from now when political scientists and historians sit down to analyze this period in Kenyan history they will all agree it was a very critical time in our history. But another more interesting point can quickly be brought forward. And this one has to do with the executive and the damage that it is causing.
  
  There was a time when those crafting our constitution had thought of diluting the powers of the presidency by introducing a Prime Minister. This was an ideal, almost magical way to bringing impunity to an abrupt end. The writing should be on the wall for them now. It just doesn’t work. Guys we have a classic case of a Prime Minister and a president combining extremely well to sustain the evil of impunity in the executive.
  Shocked Kenyan have watched in disbelief as some of their previously most trusted legislators have gone to the extent of threatening to shut down KACA and putting a stop to the war against corruption that has now reached previously unknown heights. Na bado (as my good friend Tabuu would say).
  
  Whatever ODM hawks want to say this is NOT the Raila Odinga I voted for (along with so many other Kenyans) in December 2007. Surely this is not the man who pledged zero tolerance to corruption. What does the office of the executive do to Kenyans? Kenyatta, Moi and Kibaki were all good men before they became president. Even Raila was a better man before he became Prime Minister and a member of the evil executive arm of government.
  
  Still it has been interesting how several politicians have carefully avoided criticizing the PM directly and instead talked about ODM MPs misleading the captain. Including one Francis Atwoli who has presidential ambitions. What hogwash. Where does the buck stop? With ODM MPs? Please!!!
  
  Fellow Kenyans the two principals have been working together very closely, just as we had hoped when they were going through a rocky patch at the beginning of their marriage of convenience. But sadly this time they are working together for our good but for their very own personal interests. They are doing exactly what the previous executive has been doing since indipendence as documented so well in my controversial book Dark Secrets of the Kenyan Presidency. Indeed it seems the security of the state is now the political survival and well being of the Member for Othaya and the member for Langata.
  
  A case in point is all this well choreographed hypocritical noise being made about Henry Kosgey’s being charged in court (albeit the first sitting cabinet minister in the history of the republic of Kenya to be charged in court). The noise is being made by ODM MPs while clearly the charges have presented the perfect opportunity for the man not to make it to the Hague for more serious charges of crimes against humanity. Instead he will conveniently be bogged down in an unending court case back home.
  
  But let me be the quick to admit that there is a level of unfairness here that most Kenyans may not be aware of. In the early days of the grand coalition government, the main task assigned to the NSIS was to investigate corrupt ODM ministers while ignoring PNU ministers. That was unfair. And although few will admit it, the tip that led to the current charges against Kosgey came from the intelligence community. So in that sense there was unfairness.
  
  However things have balanced themselves out somewhat because other cases have been instigated by the press and pressure from the people. Like the one against former foreign minister Moses Wetangula and the sale of the land for the Kenyan embassy in Japan. Wetangula is from the PNU side of government and talk is rife that the Minister might make a court appearance soon. Still other sources assure me that the folks involved in that Japan saga “are too high up” meaning that they are too close to the president and therefore successful prosecution will be impossible and the case will go the same way the Kimunya sale of Grand Regency scandal went. That means absolutely nowhere.
  
  Having said all that it is also true that there is no way impunity will be fought by trying to carefully balance things along party lines. Graft is graft and has no tribe or political party.
  
  Clearly it would seem that what KACA and it’s chief PLO Lumumba have achieved in recent times has sent panic waves through the corridors of power. This has caused people to dig up skeletons from PLO’s closet (and there are plenty from the days he was rolling in bed with Kanu and the impunity of President Daniel arap Moi as he struggled to establish himself as a lawyer). Nobody wants to know that this is the new Lumumba now seeking to leave a legacy for himself in a very different political environment.
  
  Meanwhile the executive with all it’s power is unraveling a carefully crafted plan that will neatly deny Kenyans their promise in a new implemented constitution while playing the same old games that have landed us into the very serious trouble we are already in as a nation.
  
  Githongo and Ghai's initiative to rescue Kenya from Impunity
  
  
  Mombasa cars @Kshs 490,000 ONLY? Amazing car deals at Kumekucha's Car Market.Kumekucha

  
  

• Press Release: Kenya Yetu• Katiba Yetu • Maisha Yetu Campaign

  Posted: January 10, 2011, 5:24 am by kumekucha

  Press Release
  
  Conveners: Yash Pal Ghai, John Githongo, George Kegoro and Davinder Lamba
  
  Those of us gathered here are Kenyan citizens from different ethnic, religious,
  racial, regional, gender, professional and generational backgrounds. We are
  all convinced that Kenya is ripe to realise the promise of the new Constitution.
  
  Having assessed the situation in our beloved country we are, like most Kenyans, dismayed by a range of issues that persist: a national tragedy of successive waves of IDPs; the persistence of impunity and corruption; the entrenchment of a culture of drug dealing with the connivance of top leaders; the deliberate manipulation of our ethnic diversity by some leaders creating for a society that is divided dangerously along ethnic and increasingly religious lines - the list is depressingly long. We express our alarm too at the deepening structural economic inequalities in our society, creating a gigantic class of youthful-have-nothings ruled by a tiny self-preserving elite making every effort to keep everything. These are among a host of other pressing injustices in Kenya.
  
  To this end, we pledge ourselves and call upon all other Kenyans to take responsibility for the new Constitution, resist all attempts at undermining the new Constitution, and speak up and organise against the impunity, injustice and corruption that is perpetrated in Counties and localities across this great land. The time has come to say, “Enough is enough!” and to take Kenya back.
  
  So we say: Kenya Yetu• Katiba Yetu • Maisha Yetu – Kenya belongs to all of us!
  
  This campaign will be followed up by a series of specific actions across Kenya beginning with meetings, rallies, Country gatherings all over the country and culminating in a People’s Convention later this year.
  
  CALL TO ACTION
  
  To this end we are assembled today to seize the moment; to comprise a movement of likeminded – Kenyans committed to ending impunity and ushering a spirit of Constitutionalism in Kenya. We pledge to work together to defend the Constitution; to fight corruption; to promote reconciliation among our diversity of peoples. We pledge to vigorously oppose - by every constitutional means available - those who would undermine the Constitution. We similarly pledge to directly resist those who steal from us; those who actively work to ruin the future of our youth; we pledge to oppose those who stand before us as leaders but are, in reality, agents of confusion, division and destruction!
  
  We are willing to work together with all those who are genuinely committed to reform, including those in government and parliament. But we also recognise that there are many vested interests in government, parliament, and business who are opposed to reform. Their network is extensive and their capacity to sabotage the Constitution is formidable. They will oppose the transformation with their enormous resources, including brutal violence. So we call upon those in these sectors to stand up to be counted. We challenge those who have not traditionally been involved in reform processes, such as the business community and the police service, to join with other Kenyans in this initiative.
  
  In the immediate:
  
  1. We call upon the People of Kenya to take on the responsibility of facilitating the full realisation of the Constitution which we gave ourselves: by respecting it, by insisting on our own rights and those of others, and holding those in positions of power and responsibility to account on the oaths they have sworn to fully respect and carry forward this constitution and its values.
  
  2. We call on the entire Government to give the implementation of the Constitution the utmost priority, developing the necessary laws, institutions and processes
  
  3. We call upon the Government to take seriously its constitutional
  obligations to respect, protect and fulfil the rights of the people,
  including freedom of expression, the right to education, to housing
  and the right to food.
  
  4. We call on the President and Prime Minister to work together towards marshalling their followers behind the Constitution and desist from contradictory and confusing statements that cause the public to doubt their commitment to the Constitution and the overall reform process in Kenya
  
  5. If the President and Prime Minister persist in undermining the Constitution by, for example, working to pull us out of the Rome Statute this early after promulgation, then we call on them to cease trying to fool Kenyans and set in motion the process of holding new elections so Kenyans can make decisions with regard to their leadership sooner rather than later.
  
  6. We call on the President and Prime Minister to immediately remove from public office all those named as suspects by competent authorities, be they local or international. To be thus named undermines their legitimacy, credibility and effectiveness and that of the Kenyan government itself.
  
  7. We call upon the Speaker and Members of the National Assembly to speedily fulfil their responsibilities for the implementation of the Constitution
  
  8. We welcome the Independent Commission on the Implementation of the Constitution and the Independent Commission on Revenue Allocation and look forward to the timely and proper constitution of all the other remaining commissions. We note that several other existing commissions need to brought into line with the new Constitution. We remind all the Commissioners of the sacred oath they have taken, and urge them to be judicious in their use of time and all other resources entrusted to them in ensuring the full implementation of the constitution.
  
  9. We call upon all the above authorities to perform their responsibilities and tasks for the fulfilment of the Constitution, after consultation with and the participation of the people, as the Constitution itself requires, and in the spirit of the sovereignty of the people as acknowledged in the Constitution. In the pursuit of this objective, we pledge our full co-operation.
  
  Thank-you and God Bless Kenya...
  
  CONTACT
  
  Yash Pal Ghai - yashpal.ghai@gmail.com
  
  John Githongo – info@inukakenya.com
  
  Twitter:
  twitter.com/kenyaniyetu #katibayetu
  
  Facebook:
  http://www.facebook.com/kenyaniyetukatibayetu
  
  e-mail:
  info@nisisikenya.com
  
  
  STATEMENT ON THE PRESENT POLITICAL AND SOCIAL SITUATION IN KENYA
  
  EVER SINCE INDEPENDENCE in 1963, Kenyans have lived under regimes that have exploited and oppressed them. The vast majority of our people have become poorer, and many are living in greater misery than was unimaginable when we became independent. On the other hand, a handful of Kenyans have become fabulously rich, most of them through corruption, stealing of state resources, and bribes from those to whom state favours were extended. Since the corrupt included presidents, ministers, and civil servants, they were protected from prosecutions. In this way there developed the culture of impunity that has caused and continues to cause great damage to our society and economy. On the strength of these ill gotten gains, some families have established dynastic politics, promoting candidates who have done little to deserve public office. There is a clear causal link between the affluence of the few and the misery of the many.
  
  Few politicians have shown any vision about our country. What Kenya needed at independence was a leader with the vision of a Mandela who would weave its different tribes and communities into a nation committed to the unity and development of the country, and welfare of all Kenyans. Instead the politicians promoted and played upon ethnic affiliations, stirring up ethnic loyalties on the one hand and ethnic animosities on the other. They claim to be protectors of their tribes, which would suffer great hardships if their tribal politicians were not elected. But their principal interest has been to grab state power, for only through the abuse of state power can they accumulate wealth. They also use ethnicity to protect themselves from criminal sanctions, by pleading that criminal charges against them are an attack on their tribe. Electoral politics have become largely about ethnic alliances, ever shifting because there is no commitment to values and policies, merely calculations of winning office. Unfortunately some people are all too ready, no doubt fuelled by bribes, to defend their ethnic “leaders” against well founded allegations of corruption or violence. Consequently the country has become deeply divided along tribes and regions, vulnerable to periodic bouts of ethnic looting, displacements and killings, under the sponsorship of politicians.
  
  Thus politics have become the preferred route to wealth, requiring little effort, untroubled by their conscience. If honest politicians get into parliament or the government, they are quickly infected by this culture of greed. Few ministers or parliamentarians care about people’s welfare. This is why political alliances can change quickly and why it makes no difference which politician or which party wins elections. Politicians, united by common objectives of reaping the rewards of politics, form a political class which will do their best to sabotage values of the new Constitution, especially integrity. This is obvious from the way in which they are closing ranks against the ICC but care little about the victims of the violence they engineered.
  
  The moral decay in public life perpetrated by the political class is obvious: cheating in elections, packing commissions with political party nominees, willing to use extreme violence, and engaging with and protecting drug barons and other criminals, regardless of harm to communities or threats to national security. State officials fix and pollute the institutions for truth and justice. The police and local authorities connive with crooks to evict the poor and powerless, the Constitution ineffective against the onslaught of bulldozers. The establishment protects criminals and thugs who serve it. For the youth who are the 78% of Kenyans – unemployment has almost been criminalised. At the same time, parliamentarians are said to cast their votes at the direction of the biggest bidder; thus has the Bunge become a sordid market, corrupting democracy.
  
  On the other hand, people pursuing social goals inconvenient to the establishment, are arrested when they criticise land grabbing or victimisation of IDPs, or seek to participate in public affairs in accordance with the Constitution. They are arrested, detained for, sometimes, long periods, occasionally charged with offences for which the police are unable to provide any evidence, or often released without any charge—but only after having suffered, with their families, great inconvenience, discomfort and anxiety: clearly a message to reformers. Ministers, bureaucrats and their patrons thrive on these illegalities: impunity for friends and jail for proponents of justice and reform.
  
  In short, our country has become a volatile, divided, violent and corrupt place, where poverty defines the deprivations and insecurity of the majority of the people. There is justifiably lack of trust in state institutions and leaders. They have plundered our national wealth; given our natural resources, including land, essentially for private profit, to outsiders, without public disclosure; cut down our forests, some turned into charcoal shipped off to the Middle East, some for agriculture, both for private profit, while our environment degrades, and people starve; transferred astronomical sums of public money to corrupt “business” men for the export of fictitious gold and diamonds Kenya does not produce; bought military aircraft and other security equipment at exorbitant prices.
  
  Our presidents, previously men of limited means, became billionaires within months of assuming office. The same rush of unexplained wealth seems true of most of ministers, prime ministers and their aides. Illegal appropriations of vast tracts of land, some of which are uncultivated, while millions are without access to land and the disparities of wealth, and thus the life styles among the people, are so enormous that they seem to belong to different worlds and cultures. Half of Nairobi’s population lives in slums in appalling conditions which denies them the most basic rights of dignity and survival, while a few families lead a life of great affluence. Some public schools operate without the most basic facilities while billions of shillings, mostly donations from abroad, are stolen by teachers and ministry staff, and the minister in charge refuses to take any responsibility. The obsession with ethnicity and our poverty deny the fundamental premise of social solidarity and national unity.
  
  We are a nation adrift, squandering the great potential among our people, especially our youthful majority; ironically at the moment when people have voted overwhelming for a new Constitution which has given hope to many.
  
  Constitution beckons to a new future
  
  The Constitution enjoyed this degree of support because it rejected the style of politics that has dominated us since independence. It places at the centre of state and society integrity, democracy, human rights and social justice. One of its main objectives is to ensure to all a life in dignity, meeting the basic needs of even the most deprived. It aims at an inclusive and vibrant democracy, through wide participation of the people in public affairs, honest leadership, and full accountability for the conduct of the government. It seeks to transcend tribal politics and to unite us in our commitment to new Constitutional values, including patriotism, embracing a broader Kenyan identity of which we can be proud of. The Constitution promises us much, and sets out the institutional framework for achieving the national values.
  
  President Kibaki and Prime Minister Odinga have in the president’s speech on promulgation day described the new Constitution as “an embodiment of our best hopes, aspiration, ideals and values for a peaceful and more prosperous nation”. They predict that the Constitution “will fundamentally transform our nation politically, economically and socially” and lead to “productive and dignified lives”. They drew attention to “the new ways of conducting public affairs”, saying, “This Constitution’s leadership code and values makes it clear that people who will present themselves for public or state offices will have to be individuals of integrity, willing to be held accountable by the people and the institutions and laws of our country....The leaders must guarantee that the Bill of Rights is enforced...”. They urged us to complete the journey of “our transformation” by “seizing the moment with courage because the birth of the Second Republic holds great promise for the Kenyan people”.
  
  Seize the moment
  
  While the people long for the new dawn of integrity and social justice, they feel powerless in the face of the ever present corruption, land grabbing, and divisive ethnicity, mostly with the support of the administration and the police. They long for integrity among public offices and justice from judges, as they see that there is one law for the rich and another for the poor, and no justice for themselves. There is widespread discontent with the present establishment. People feel that they have been betrayed on the new Constitution and notice that the goals of the Constitution are daily being violated, sidelined, crassly and blatantly, while politicians continue to invoke ethnicity, imperilling peace and harmony among the people. In all this the politicians seem unconcerned about the public reaction.
  
  The people realise that the Constitution promises them much, but some do not feel empowered by it. But many others do sense that it is through their own agency, in co-operation with others, that the promise will be realised. So increasingly people are organising themselves into groups (professionals, women, youth, religious groups, numerous grassroots organisations) searching for a new social and political order. Focussed on the youth, we intend to work together with them and others searching for change to fulfil the agenda of the Constitution. In order to achieve our objectives, for ourselves and future generations, we will facilitate partnerships for pursuit of Constitutional goals, promote co-operation across ethnic divides, etc. use possibilities for people for participation, decision making; engage with the rural and urban poor; encourage awareness among people of the Constitution and their rights. In the absence of effective and stable political parties, social movements have the potential to influence political policies and developments. This is what we intend to do.
  
  Thank-you and God Bless Kenya....Kumekucha

  
  

• Kumekucha Person of the Year 2010 Is...

  Posted: December 30, 2010, 1:36 am by kumekucha

  Despite her involvement in the Kibaki electroral theft of 2007 (still we are talking about 2010 and NOT 2007 or 2008). The iron lady has bounced back and this year played a critical role politically that impacted the largest number of Kenyans positively. Karua’s gigantic achievements this year include her pivotal role in consensus building that saw the successful passing of the new constitution in parliament and then the successful campaign in the referendum that followed giving Kenyans what has eluded them for over two decades. Not to mention her position in many debates in the August house that has tended to reflect the will of the people.
  
  This is the presidential candidate that Kumekucha would be happy to support and vouch for in 2012. It is our official position that Kenyan voters should quit doing the same thing (electing men) and expecting different results and go for a woman president this time round. One of the things this could do is help diffuse the tribal emotions that have dogged our politics with such tragic results. It is my firm belief that Karua can duplicate in Kenya what the other Iron lady Margaret Thatcher did for Britain (I doubt whether the Brits will see such prosperity again).
  
  She may not be very lovable and she is certainly not as sexy as Charity Ngilu but she can certainly get the job done and deliver results. She may just be the person to help us usher in the brand new Kenya we all so eagerly yearn for.
  
  Despite her involvement in helping Kibaki achieve the evil of 2007 election fraud, she cannot be held fully responsible. The buck stops with the president himself and those close to him have to follow orders and do as instructed. We are not absolving her, she still stands accused for that terrible chapter in Kenyan history but sometimes the greatest achievers are those who have fallen and risen again or made terrible mistakes and still bounced back. Martha “comeback” Karua has surely transformed herself beautifully for the good of the Kenyan people.
  
  First Runner Up: Gitobu Imanyara
  
  Second runner up: Mohamed Abdikadir
  
  I have included comments in red below next to some of the other nominations.
  
  1. Martha Karua
  
  2. Gitobu Imanyara.
  
  3. COE (commitee of Experts)
  
  4. PLO Lumumba (was in contention but it is still too early to start popping the Champaign.)
  
  5. Mohamed Abdikadir (Led a team and indeed achieved a lot-that is why he ended up 3rd. But he cannot take the lion’s share of the credit just because he was in the limelight most.)
  
  6. Manu Chandaria
  
  7. Caroline Mutoko
  
  The most evil 3 square kilometres of dirt in Kenya (the post everybody is talking about)Kumekucha

  
  

• Most popular Kumekucha articles on Facebook

  Posted: December 29, 2010, 11:02 pm by kumekucha

  Everybody is on Facebook these days and it has become a very important source of traffic for Kumekucha cutting edge political posts.
  
  Below I have listed the top 10 most shared Kumekucha articles on Facebook.
  Click on the articles you missed and ENJOY!!
  
  1. You Missed This: The Nakumatt Supermarkets Money Laundering Mystery
  
  2. You Missed This: Masai African Tribe Sexual Secrets: Sex Tourism And The Nude Tribe That Attracts Wh
  
  3. You Missed This: Open email letter to Ocampo: Kenyans want you to go straight for these 3
  
  4. You Missed This: This evil man called Moi
  
  5. You Missed This: A Page From The Waki Report: Should These People Be Given Amnesty?
  
  6. You Missed This: Joshua Kulei: Little formal education but extremely street smart
  
  7. You Missed This: Orgasmic Statehouse Calculations
  
  8. You Missed This: Has Raila made this deal with Kibaki?
  
  9. You Missed This: Three Down, Now KACC Steps on Live Wire
  
  10. You Missed This: Cabinet ministers and their famous girlfriends
  
  Christmas shocker Extended by PUBLIC DEMAND!!!!!!
  Somebody sent me an angry email calling me fake for offering such a gift when I know everybody is away from their office computers for the Christmas holidays. I have therefore decided to extend this offer for a very limited time only. Please tell all your freinds about it.
  
  My free special gift to all of you this festive season is the FULL digital version of my best-selling book Dark secrets of the Kenyan presidency. It is the whole entire book, not a single page has been left out. It is in pdf format. It is what my clients have been paying Kshs 1,350 for. Just send a blank email NOW to
  
  kumekuchaspecialoffers@gmail.com
  
  Do it now, the offer is still ONLY for a very limited time.Kumekucha

  
  

• Most popular Kumekucha articles on Facebook

  Posted: December 29, 2010, 11:02 pm by kumekucha

  Everybody is on Facebook these days and it has become a very important source of traffic for Kumekucha cutting edge political posts.
  
  Below I have listed the top 10 most shared Kumekucha articles on Facebook.
  Click on the articles you missed and ENJOY!!
  
  1. You Missed This: The Nakumatt Supermarkets Money Laundering Mystery
  
  2. You Missed This: Masai African Tribe Sexual Secrets: Sex Tourism And The Nude Tribe That Attracts Wh
  
  3. You Missed This: Open email letter to Ocampo: Kenyans want you to go straight for these 3
  
  4. You Missed This: This evil man called Moi
  
  5. You Missed This: A Page From The Waki Report: Should These People Be Given Amnesty?
  
  6. You Missed This: Joshua Kulei: Little formal education but extremely street smart
  
  7. You Missed This: Orgasmic Statehouse Calculations
  
  8. You Missed This: Has Raila made this deal with Kibaki?
  
  9. You Missed This: Three Down, Now KACC Steps on Live Wire
  
  10. You Missed This: Cabinet ministers and their famous girlfriends
  
  Christmas shocker Extended by PUBLIC DEMAND!!!!!!
  Somebody sent me an angry email calling me fake for offering such a gift when I know everybody is away from their office computers for the Christmas holidays. I have therefore decided to extend this offer for a very limited time only. Please tell all your freinds about it.
  
  My free special gift to all of you this festive season is the FULL digital version of my best-selling book Dark secrets of the Kenyan presidency. It is the whole entire book, not a single page has been left out. It is in pdf format. It is what my clients have been paying Kshs 1,350 for. Just send a blank email NOW to
  
  kumekuchaspecialoffers@gmail.com
  
  Do it now, the offer is still ONLY for a very limited time.Kumekucha

  
  

• SUCCESS: Thank you for ordering your free copy of Dark Secrets of the Kenyan Presidency

  Posted: December 19, 2010, 2:56 am by kumekucha

  SUCCESS: Thank you for ordering your free copy of Dark Secrets of the Kenyan Presidency
  
  You will receive an email from me in a few minutes where you will have to validate email (just follow the simple instructions). This is to confirm that you really ordered the information from me.
  
  YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO RECEIVE YOUR BOOK WITHOUT FOLLOWING THE INSTRUCTIONS IN THAT EMAIL THAT I AM SENDING YOU, SO PLEASE BE PATIENT AND WAIT FOR IT
  
  If you do not receive it after a few minutes please check your email spam folder.
  
  If you still have difficulties please feel free to write directly to me at kumekuchaspecialoffers@gmail.com. Make sure you describe the problem in as much detail as you possibly can.Kumekucha

  
  

• This man Andrew Ligale

  Posted: December 1, 2010, 4:00 am by kumekucha

  In another life, I was a useful rugby player although I retired too early even before my full potential could be realized. But I did try to stage a comeback once or twice. On one of those come back attempts I met a sensationally explosive and very talented young winger. We played for the same club. His second name was Ligale and in one drunken moment of weakness after the game he blurted out that when he was through with school (he was still a schoolboy then but playing club rugby nevertheless) he would love more than anything else to be a PS in government, just like dad had been for many years.
  Andrew Ligale: Missed the opportunity for a solid legacy despite his dark past.
  
  His words haunted me for years after that. Indeed they came back vividly recently when it was reveled that the immediate former Vihiga legislator Andrew Ligale would chair the highly sensitive but crucial Interim Independent Boundaries Review Commission. (IIBRC). I immediately knew that there was trouble ahead. ASnd indeed trouble came.
  
  Back in the old days when I myself was still a schoolboy and my dad worked for the government we lived in Kileleshwa. In those days there were still plenty of houses for government employees in this leafy suburb and many of them that were built in the colonial days and were becoming an eyesore as “private developers” put up lavish houses right next to them after purchasing some of the old houses from the government. The “developers” would promptly demolish the old houses and put up apartments or classy massionettes. It was in this kind of unfolding scenario that we lived right opposite the “stinking wealthy” Ligale family. At that time the rugby star was too young and the only person I remember well was his dazzling much older sister whom I made a spirited bid for but failed in what is obviously not a tale for this political blog.
  
  So how did Mr Ligale make his money? The man is extremely wealthy too wealthy to have made it all from investing his salary whilst working for government.
  
  Of course the official story is that he worked hard in the civil service, climbed up the ranks and made the right investments. His CV reveals something else. Ligale joined the Ministry of Lands and Settlement in 1966 in a junior position and climbed through the ranks until he became director of Physical planning. For those unfamiliar with the territory under discussion, when you mention the word “land” in Kenya you awaken terrible murderous basic instincts in many Kenyans. They stem for a desire to own large tracts of dirt at all costs. They will bribe, kill, maim and generally do anything they have to do to get land for themselves. Many Kenyan families have made fortunes from the land racket in Kenya and Andrew Ligale’s name can not be left out of that list.
  
  Playing the land game and yet being from the wrong tribe (that is not a Kikuyu during the Kenyatta era) there is no doubt that the man was forced to develop survival skills to implement exactly the right kind of politics to ensure that he not only amassed cash and property but was also able to fully protect his wealth. The kind of wealth that made such an impression on his young son that he was able to blurt out in a drunken moment of weakness that he wanted above all to be a PS in the Kenya government.
  
  Unfortunately it is politics from that era that Mr Ligale decided to play as chair of the IIBRC. A lot has been said in support of the Ligale commission and against it but how do you explain the fact that his very own Vihiga constituency was split into two? Ligale was MP for the area for two terms from 1992 to 1997 and from 2002 to 2007. He was defeated in the ODM nominations in 2007 but retained very close contact with the ODM high command which is what bagged him the IIBRC job.
  
  Ligale is a smart man but even smart people get overtaken by events when changes are happening as fast as they are in Kenya. The impunity was obvious in Ligale’s tone of voice when he arrogantly told members of the press that those who were not happy with the work of his commission were welcome to go to court.
  
  I have a feeling that history will not be so kind to Andrew Ligale. It will be recorded that he had his opportunity to make his contribution to the new Kenya but squandered it on the altar of political gain. A man with a long history of using his public appointments for personal gain.
  
  Ligale CV
  
  Employment History
  1966-1978: Ministry of Land& Settlement
  (rose to become Director, of Physical Planning)
  1979-1991: P.S. Various Ministries
  1997-2002: Chairman Consolidated Bank of Kenya
  
  Education
  1952: Chanzeywe Primary School
  1953-1956: Chavavo Intermediate School
  1957-1960: Friends School Kamusinga
  1961-1962: Alliance High School
  1963-1966: Makerere University, Uganda (B.A. Hons. Degree)
  1966-1968 Nottingham University (M.A. Degree)
  
  Period Served in Parliament
  1992-1997 , Re-elected 27th December 2002
  
  See older Kumekucha article: The Andrew Ligale Gideon Moi cash distributing link.Kumekucha

  
  

• Reforms in Kenya: Is it time to negotiate with murderers and masters of impunity?

  Posted: November 29, 2010, 4:19 am by kumekucha

  With recent political happenings in mind, many leading political analysts believe that there is now the very real danger of reforms in Kenya being derailed and the beautiful new Kenyan constitution ending up still-born after all. This is a view that yours truly also holds. Alert Kenyans are wary of reforms being choked even at this eleventh hour by the political class and those who stand to lose the most with a new order of things. Our local press has captured the mood perfectly by creating screaming headlines and alarmed TV news reports every time there is a tiny little obstacle to progress in the implementation of the new constitution within the set timetable.
  Precedents are not the preserve of lawyers and courtrooms only and so I went out and looked for the most similar recent situation to that of Kenya and the one that is naturally nearest home. I quickly zeroed in on South Africa and how the evil apartheid system was finally defeated. Many of the phenomenal changes that have taken place in that country are today taken for granted. Little regard is given to the insurmountable hurdles that had to be scaled before a new South Africa could be born. But what surprised me even more were the secret talks that took place behind the scenes initiated by some far-sighted white folks from the business community who could clearly see that the country was disintegrating rapidly. Read details about that HERE.
  
  In this case I was lucky enough to come across a movie detailing the whole secret talks and the key role they played in the whole process, called Endgame. See details about the movie here
  The thing about watching a movie about a research subject is that you get drawn into all the very real emotions of the situation and this brings about a much deeper understanding than relying only on reading material.
  
  For instance radicals on both sides of the divide went to great lengths to frustrate and even sabotage the peace talks. These extremists on both sides felt terribly betrayed that there should be any talks at all.
  
  Can Kenyans learn something from Nelson Mandela’s South Africa? Can the masses negotiate with the evil political class who must survive the reforms that we have already instigated at all costs? Will this save lives and help Kenya get to where she is going much quicker?
  
  As far fetched as this may seem at first sight let us dare to delve deeper and start throwing in some names of the kind of people who should have representation on the table for such negotiations. Mwai Kibaki and family, The Moi family, Nicholas Biwott, The Kenyatta family, Njoroge Mungai (former powerful cabinet minister and aide of President Kenyatta credited with being behind the most major political assassinations executed during Kenyatta’s watch), surviving members of the Kiambu Mafia that surrounded President Kenyatta. Perhaps we should also add families of those who were so brutally assassinated mostly under the guise of national security? Families of dead Kenyans like Tom Mboya. JM Kariuki, Pio Gama Pinto, Robert Ouko etc.
  
  When you really think about it, we are worse off than the South Africans were because at some point we will need to get tribal representatives and dive into some serious tribal talks. The idea will be to reach that place where we can start forgiving each other for past sins whilst speaking out openly about the things that antagonize us most about some of our Kenyan communities. For instance the sheer arrogance of members of the house of Mumbi in the Kikuyunization of everything wherever in the world they settle. And worse still, the habit of speaking their vernacular in the presence of others who do not understand the language. Interestingly we will need to tell our Luo brothers that they too have the habit of speaking Dholuo in public in the presence of other precious Kenyans who do not understand their dialect. This is provocative in a unified multi-tribal nation like Kenya. We will also tell them that we do not appreciate their carrying stones inside briefcases to soccer matches and political meetings. WE will also not fail to have a word with our Kalenjin brethren to protest their ruthlessness in their violent ways and their love for war mongering against the rest of us who are their very brothers and sisters and fellow Kenyans at that.
  
  And after the heated exchanges and “short-circuits” that are to be expected as folks lose their tempers at this initial session, we shall take a lunch break for everybody to enjoy the wide array of delicious traditional foods and then return to a session where participants will list the things they appreciate most about each other. I would start with the industrious almost natural entrepreneurial ability of our Kikuyu brothers and sisters which has helped Kenya make great strides in commerce and trade. We will then wholeheartedly thank out Luo brethren for endowing the motherland with some of the best medical doctors on the continent (I know at least one world-class one who is a world authority in his field based in the US, but I am sure there are many other world class doctors who hail from this Kenyan community). With tears of patriotic joy in our eyes we shall thank our Kalenjin comrades for bringing such glory to Kenya for long and middle distance races to the extent where there is now talk that the Kenyan race (3,000 metres steeplechase) soon being discontinued because there is little point in holding an international competition where the contest for the top honours is exclusively between compatriots of a single country with the rest of the competitors being reduced to mere spectators. There is of course a lot more to appreciate fro many other Kenyan communities.
  
  During the secret talks that led to the defeat of apartheid, the Afrikaans (who invented apartheid in the first place) were utterly taken aback by the reconciliatory nature of the long suffering ANC even with all the injustices committed against them over the years. The ANC were also shocked that the Afrikaans had through the long years braced themselves for the day of retribution from those they killed and maimed for so many years. They saw this as inevitable and did not expect mercy when that day came. In the same way when we Kenyans sit down with each other for some serious talk, we will be amazed at how easy it will be to be endeared to tribes that we may think very negatively of at the moment.
  
  I dare add that we cannot fail to find lovable things about the murderers and selfish land grabbers who are stinking rich today and have the blood of many Kenyans on their hands.
  
  Kenya belongs to all of us and even as we burn with anger and thirst for revenge for past evils committed, it may be more realistic to negotiate with the very evil forces fighting against change. We need to understand the position of these thieves and murderers better so that we can fully ensure that what happened will never happen again.
  
  This may be a very bitter pill to swallow but what if it is the only way Kenya can be saved?
  
  See older explosive Kumekucha post: Political assassinations in Kenya TJ
  
  Amazing natural cure for erectile dysfunction, diabetes, joint pain...
  Kumekucha

  
  

• What you will never know about some Kenyan pilots

  Posted: November 20, 2010, 2:14 am by kumekucha

  If you are about to fly off somewhere I strictly recommend that you do not read this post until you get back from your trip.
  
  I want to discuss Kenyan pilots. There is no better time to discuss them than now. It is certainly better than trying to discuss them after a major air disaster.
  Kenya Airways’ Captain Irene Koki Mutungi the first woman captain of a passenger jet aircraft in Africa (flies the Boeing 737-300 for KQ) is a trail blazer in many ways. I dare say that women have proved time and again to be more trustworthy when given grave responsibilities like regularly “holding the lives of passengers in their hands.” Read more about this amazing Kenyan woman.
  
  I must admit that aviation is a subject that really fascinates me. Right from the amazing humble beginnings to the latest developments, I always love anything I can get my hands on that talks about the aviation industry then and now. Then there are countless episodes of Air crash investigations and Seconds from disaster that I have taken in on DSTV and elsewhere. And so as I have been digging around for information on Kenyan pilots, I am not totally ignorant of the subject.
  
  But let’s start this post with a bizarre conclusion from a court of Inquiry probe into the Air India Express plane crash in May this year. The inquiry concluded that the disaster was caused by a “sleepy pilot” who had in fact been asleep for most of the flight from Dubai to the city of Mangalore. He was therefore disoriented as he approached the runaway at the wrong angle and even ignored several warning signs. The plane carrying low cadre Indian immigrant workers coming back home to for their annual holidays overshot the runway, plunging into a gorge and burst into flames. Eight people survived the inferno. Close to 350 people died in the crash. Experts at the inquiry said that because the pilot of the Indian aircraft was suffering "sleep inertia" he made the fatal mistake of trying to take off again when applying emergency brakes would have comfortably saved the situation. Read more about the accident report HERE.
  
  Apparently the Air India Express pilot was a Serbian and everybody knows that pilots from that side of the world (mostly any country that was part of the former unified USSR) have a reputation for being reckless. But let us turn our attention to Kenyan pilots which is what this post is supposed to be about.
  
  I was pleasantly surprised to be informed that Kenyan pilots are considered to be amongst the best in the world. How can I forget what this veteran pilot told me;
  
  “I know a couple of Kenyan pilots who are way too comfortable landing a jet aircraft in freezing conditions where ice can be treacherous. It is as if they were born in those kinds of conditions. Splendid pilots I tell you.”
  
  I have heard many other words of praise for particular Kenyan pilots from many quarters.
  
  However digging deeper, there are some horrifying tales of what really goes on behind the scenes. It is one tyhing to be a talented pilot and quite another to be a disciplned one. Admittedly discipline in a pilot is a very personal thing and trying to supervise it in pilots can even be harder. The truth is that despite the clear rules many of our pilots take to the air when they are drunk or have not had enough sleep.
  
  These days flying a modern jet aircraft is very much an automated kind of thing. So a pilot mostly plays a supervisory role. We have the autopilot mode and fly-by-wire technology that introduces computer precision that no human can match to functions like descending gradually for a landing. At first glance this may appear to be a good thing and it is. But the downside is that a pilot literally “goes to sleep” and staying alert becomes very difficult. So in many ways the old days of manual flying were better because they kept a pilot alert during the entire duration of the flight.
  
  The thing about the sophisticated computers that are today’s jet aircrafts is that if anything goes wrong it will need a very quick-witted alert pilot to quickly take in and understand the situation and make a decision, sometimes with a deadline of split seconds or just a few minutes, which could make the difference between life and death. You don’t want a pilot who is drunk or sleepy in that kind of situation. Or one who is less than fully alert because they were having a good time with some young lasses in some exotic world capital night club most of the previous night.
  
  What makes matters worse is that pilots get away with this kind of thing all the time. One could even be lucky enough to complete their entire career sleeping most of the time without any mishap or unfortunate incidents like the Air India Express crash happening. But what happens the day something goes wrong?
  
  Could disaster have been averted and lives saved when things went wrong in the Kenya Airways aircraft in Abidjan in 2000 (mystery of cause still to be solved) and in Cameroon in 2007 (What the crash investigations report said about pilot error)
  
  See also: Ugly wars in the sky between Kenya Airways and the South Africans
  
  Join the raging Kumekucha debate about drug barons in government.
  Kumekucha

  
  

• Visa Ban And Drug Barons in Government

  Posted: November 17, 2010, 12:00 am by kumekucha

  Kenyans are a very disgusting lot. They really don’t care about the most important question one needs to urgently ask whenever they come across somebody who seems to have cash literally coming out of their ears. And that critical question is; where did the money come from?
  Just show Kenyans the cash and you are a hero, no questions asked. But personally I would go as far as questioning even cash that floods in for so-called good causes. Charity Kaluki Ngilu announced her bid for the presidency in 1997 looking “all money” complete with a brand new seductive dress that was a tad too short but must have cost a bomb. It was all for a good cause. After years of the Moi regime we wanted to get rid of him pronto and for a brief moment it looked like maybe a woman could break the tribal barriers and unite enough opposition votes to remove Moi and KANU from power. What followed was one of the best financed presidential campaigns ever seen in Kenya. Very few stopped to ask the crucial question, where did all that money come from? Had Ngilu won those rigged presidential elections, this question would have become even more critical and so in many ways it is just as well that she did not win and the only thing she emerged with was the distinction of being the first woman in Kenya to run for the presidency. In retrospect this was hardly surprising coming from a tribe that has had a long history of being led by women (but then that is a post for another day.)
  
  As a matter of interest that Ngilu cash came from some very deep pockets in the United States of America with an agenda in Kenya. The same gentlemen that former Kanu secretary general Joseph Kamotho bluntly addressed in the press and told; this is NOT the Philippines. Many puzzled Kenyans were wondering what the hell the balding guy was talking about. I am told that once upon a time the CIA helped install a woman president in the Philippines and one of the key tools that helped them change the course of the political river that led to the win of Corazon Aquino was wads of cash. Yet another fascinating story for another day.
  
  But I digress too much because today I address the issue of drug barons in Kenyan politics. This is probably one of the most dangerous subjects to write about in Kenya. I know because I have had my life threatened and have even had to run. Make no mistake about it, these drug folks are well organized and their cash opens all doors for them. There is hardly a place to hide when they have identified you as “a problem”. Even an anonymous blogger like myself can suddenly find that they are pretty exposed (as I found out the hard way).
  
  In naming one of the drug barons I know in government let me tell you a short story. In the run up to the 2007 general elections I was fully behind ODM and its’ presidential candidate Raila Odinga. I am NOT a Luo but like many Kenyans I was seduced by the ODM rhetoric and I was yearning for change. Cynical and hard to convince as I am, I found myself in the place where I was sure that ODM would bring about the desired change we vadly needed in Kenya. And that is the reason why I was deeply shocked and hurt when I later heard that the ODM presidential candidate had offered Mr John Harun Mwau a full cabinet seat in his half of the coalition government. Mwau, the story goes, turned it down because of his frequent Business trips out of the country and accepted the less busy docket of an assistant minister. Knowing the character of the man I cringed at this news. Imagine a drug baron as a full cabinet minister carrying a diplomatic passport and all? I was later told by some ODM die-hard that “the captain” did not have a choice because the man gave ODM a lot of cash for the presidential campaign. That did not wash with me. So what if he financed the ODM presidential campaign? Why was he allowed to in the first place by a candidate looking for change in Kenya?
  
  I have written several posts in this blog about this man (you can read this one) and so I don’t want to repeat myself. The bottom line is that Mwau was a sharpshooter working with the Kenya police and climbed up to the rank of acting Inspector of police. And he was not one of the more disciplined officers because he insisted on keeping his beard and had to get a letter from some doctor proving that shaving his beard would be a risk to his health. When Mr Mwau left the police force in some very controversial circumstances he suddenly became a very rich man. Journalists have often asked him how he made his money and he has always waived his hand and said it was from business and quickly hurried on to the next point. One journalist pressed the question and asked what business exactly he was doing. Mwau replied that he was importing electronics. Mwau in a thinly veiled threat told journalists to be careful with him. Apart from being a scary character to journalists seeking information, Mwau has always been pretty generous with reporters. Let me just leave it at that. And so journalists have learnt not to ask Mr Mwau certain questions and even more important not to dig too deeply into how he acquired his stupendous wealth.
  
  All over the world former policemen are rarely considered to be overly intelligent, if anything many jokes are traded about the lack of intelligence of policemen. However in Mr Mwau’s case there is evidence to prove that he is an extremely intelligent man. In a land mark case challenging the election of Moi as President in 1992 (in an election where Mwau also stood for president), he opted to represent himself and ended up impressing many lawyers and even judges (although he did not win the case). Many thought his performance was better than what many trained lawyers would have achieved. When this kind of man is let loose in a country like Kenya for so many years unchecked the result is that he becomes part of the very fabric of the nation so that touching him may have a major impact right across the entire economy of the nation.
  
  For instance there are allegations supported by enough documentation and evidence that the well-respected Nakumatt chain of supermarkets had its’ early days financed by money launderers. Money laundering and the drug business are inseparable twins joined at the hip and the heart. Read this Kumekucha story for details.
  
  (To be continued)
  
  See also the earlier Kumekucha article: Is it okay for a drug baron to be in government?
  
  Late Extra...
  
  Judging from some of the comments this post has provoked I felt that a comment made by a reader from one of my earlier articles in Kumekucha about the drugs trade would be appropriate to put things in perspective. I reproduce it below;
  
  Anonymous said...

  I got a Kenyan boyfriend the other day and I have been trying to familliarize myself with his home country. Having come across this blog I can't help but wonder about how simple life is in that part of the world. As a police officer in Miami I have to say that narcotic drugs activites are no joke, I can tell you stories that would make it difficult for you to sleep at night. It seems like you guys want to destroy your country by creating the impression that narcotic drugs are a business that can create abundant wealth.

  5/27/07 11:47 PM Kumekucha

  
  

• Why some voters in Kenya are more equal than others

  Posted: November 15, 2010, 12:34 am by kumekucha

  What is the boundaries commission controversy all about?
  
  Let us imagine for a minute that you come from one of the really moneyed families of Kenya (who have mostly made their money from graft) and you were at the dinner table as a family deciding where you would go for your Christmas holidays this year. The way it is done in most families is that the older and bigger folks usually have a bigger say than the younger and less experienced. There really is no democracy because if mum decides that it has to be London to impress her friends, then that vote carries much more weight than Junior’s vote to see Brazil where all the soccer magicians are born. Of course mzee wa nyumba can over-rule everybody and use his veto power to ensure that the family goes to Dubai because he has some personal business there he would like to tie up while the family is on holiday.
  The most powerful voter in Kenya today.
  In other words there is no true democracy in most Kenyan homes and with good reason because experience counts for a lot. But what about our electoral system and the nagging question that continues to hound us about constituencies and especially how many we should have and where they should be? Currently there is a controversy surrounding the new constituencies created by the Interim Independent Boundaries Review Commission. Granted, boundaries and commissions to review them can be pretty boring stuff and that is why most of the ordinary folks I interviewed for this article had no idea what is going on and are not really interested in knowing. Most of the folks I talked to didn’t have a clue what all the hullabaloo about new constituencies was about and were not interested. Mostly they wanted to talk about Ruto and his woes. But trust me, this thing is very important.
  
  At the centre of all the arguments and threats to go to court is a simple question. Should a constituency be based on the number of people in it or the geographical size? At independence it was mostly based on population. However when Daniel arap Moi came along as Kenya’s second president, his advisors came up with a brilliant way of diluting and limiting the influence of the populous Kikuyu tribe. It is interesting how Moi is very quick these days to deny any historical suggestions that he was scared and yet that is the naked truth. For younger generation Kenyans it is hard to believe but Moi really had to be coaxed into being president. “Hawa kikuyu watamaliza mimi,” (These Kikuyus will finish me) are words that came out of Moi’s lips quite often, shortly after Kenyatta’s death. Read excerpts from my revealing book, Dark secrets of the Kenyan presidency. Now Moi’s idea of dealing with his perceived enemies was to increase the number of constituencies in areas where he had support and then limit the number of constituencies in Kikuyuland. It worked like a charm because even when the opposition got huge number of votes from central province, when the sums were done in parliament, the Rift valley had more MPs and would therefore always have an advantage in parliament. They still do. It also made rigging presidential elections very easy for Moi. Now that the Moi era is over the Kikuyu community are eager that this injustice is corrected, however Kalenjin MPs are determined that we continue with the evil that Moi put in place by basing constituencies on geographical area covered. If these fellows are to be taken seriously then we shall end up with constituencies in the North Eastern province with 500 registered voters or less. Meaning a legislator elected to the house by his extended family and clan will sit right next to a colleague who landed in parliament with 500,000 votes. Is this fair?
  
  Now in concluding this post, I need somebody to explain something to me. The Interim Independent Boundaries Review Commission based the new constituencies on the requirements of the new constitution. They also say that they came up with a number, 133,000 which they consider to be the ideal number for any constituency. How come then Mandera in the sparsely populated North Eastern province got 2 new constituencies?
  
  In my view balancing things will not work. We need to bite the bullet and do this thing democratically. In my view democracy means one man one vote having the maximum impact in our politics. As it is now those who come from low populated areas have a clear advantage when
  it comes to voting. It is really as simple as that.
  
  Are you in the diaspora and planning to come to Kenya on holiday?
  
  Boundaries commission defends itself
  
  Paradox of devolution and nationalismKumekucha

  
  

• Orgasmic Statehouse Calculations

  Posted: November 10, 2010, 5:42 pm by kumekucha

  Kenyans have a problem with arithmetic or math as the Americans call it. And they have had this problem from as far back as anybody can remember.
  
  There was a time a long time ago that they did a switch locally from old mathematics to new or metric mathematics. The new mathematics offered hope for some poor folks who thought that it would be magically easier and that they would stop seeing stars in the classroom. Of course that was a pipe dream.
  We are going through a similar phase in Kenyan politics. We are moving towards what I would like to call metric politics for the purposes of this post. The sad thing is that many older folks are still using the same old calculations to analyze the current political scene. I listened to some mostly sickening political calculations in recent days. Most of them made me want to throw up and so I will share the nausea with you today.
  
  Calculation 1:-
  Ruto is too smart for these people and so he will go for governor and then Uhuru will be president with Jirongo his vice president. This combination is unbeatable.
  
  Calculation2:-
  Since Ocampo will deal with all the big names e.g. Ruto, Raila and Uhuru the field will be left open for Kalonzo Musyoka who will not have any competition from anybody. He is surely the next president of Kenya.
  
  Calculation 3:-
  Because Uhuru Kenyatta will be out of the way the house of Mumbi will have no other option but to put their weight behind Martha Karua for president who will easily win.
  
  Calculation 4:-
  This is the turn of the Luhyas. Since Ocampo will wipe the whole field clean of the big names Jirongo will have little or no competition in winning the presidency. His main support will come from Rift valley where Ruto will have left his blessings before departing to the Hague to begin serving his jail term.
  
  I will not bother to answer to any of the above analysis. They are hardly worth the effort. What saddens me is that mostly older Kenyans cannot seem to get away from the old thinking that having one of their own in State house will feel so good that it will be orgasmic for them. Very, very, sad.
  
  Why tribalism is so ridiculous and how science can help rid Kenya of it
  
  Mombasa car dealers to help you get a car at a crazily low price.
  
  Breaking News
  --------------------
  
  In May 2008 a Reuters photojournalist, Trent Keegan was killed in Nairobi. His killers took away his laptop and mobile phone and left his wallet, cash, credit cards etc intact. And yet the Kenya police have been insisting right from day one that this was an ordinary mugging gone wrong. I always get very suspicious when the police start to give theories before investigations have even commenced. More so when Mr Keegan had indicated that he feared for his life.
  
  Initial reports this blogger received from reliable sources was that shortly before his death Mr Keegan was in touch with contacts giving him some sensitive information for some very big stories on Kenya (see my post in 2008 about this also read this Kumekucha exclusive). Strangely the story that stuck was an investigative piece he was doing in Tanzania.
  
  Now the latest is that a glue-sniffing youth who is being charged with the high-profile killing of the Kenya Airways pilot last year has also now been charged with the murder of the Kiwi journalist. Read story HERE.
  
  This is a major cover up that is pretty unconvincing. Indications are that behind this mystery is a very big story which yours truly is pursuing as I have been since May 2008.Kumekucha

  
  

• Orgasmic Statehouse Calculations

  Posted: November 10, 2010, 5:42 pm by kumekucha

  Kenyans have a problem with arithmetic or math as the Americans call it. And they have had this problem from as far back as anybody can remember.
  
  There was a time a long time ago that they did a switch locally from old mathematics to new or metric mathematics. The new mathematics offered hope for some poor folks who thought that it would be magically easier and that they would stop seeing stars in the classroom. Of course that was a pipe dream.
  We are going through a similar phase in Kenyan politics. We are moving towards what I would like to call metric politics for the purposes of this post. The sad thing is that many older folks are still using the same old calculations to analyze the current political scene. I listened to some mostly sickening political calculations in recent days. Most of them made me want to throw up and so I will share the nausea with you today.
  
  Calculation 1:-
  Ruto is too smart for these people and so he will go for governor and then Uhuru will be president with Jirongo his vice president. This combination is unbeatable.
  
  Calculation2:-
  Since Ocampo will deal with all the big names e.g. Ruto, Raila and Uhuru the field will be left open for Kalonzo Musyoka who will not have any competition from anybody. He is surely the next president of Kenya.
  
  Calculation 3:-
  Because Uhuru Kenyatta will be out of the way the house of Mumbi will have no other option but to put their weight behind Martha Karua for president who will easily win.
  
  Calculation 4:-
  This is the turn of the Luhyas. Since Ocampo will wipe the whole field clean of the big names Jirongo will have little or no competition in winning the presidency. His main support will come from Rift valley where Ruto will have left his blessings before departing to the Hague to begin serving his jail term.
  
  I will not bother to answer to any of the above analysis. They are hardly worth the effort. What saddens me is that mostly older Kenyans cannot seem to get away from the old thinking that having one of their own in State house will feel so good that it will be orgasmic for them. Very, very, sad.
  
  Why tribalism is so ridiculous and how science can help rid Kenya of it
  
  Mombasa car dealers to help you get a car at a crazily low price.Kumekucha

  
  

• Drowning Ruto opts for the Samson option

  Posted: November 8, 2010, 3:13 am by kumekucha

  Update: Empty political showboating
  Ruto's spin doctors have defrauded him big time and he must demand a full refund. The political showboating that was cleverly crafted to deflect public attention has succeeded in doing the exact opposite. First Ruto did not meet ICC chief prosecutor Luis Moreno-Ocampo who was in London when Ruto visited The Hague and his evasive and contemptuous answer to the press (Taxi operator reference) was proof enough.
  
  The Eldoret North MP would have saved his money by meeting the ICC team already in Kenya. The propaganda coup has backfired and Ruto has lent more credence to his impeding indictment after unwittingly showing his hand out of naivety and self-guilt.He derided ICC to be toothless until 2090 and his outburst on Waki Commission's report and KNHRC is the sturdy rope his neck desperately needed.
  There is nothing more powerful than the voices of the dead crying to the almighty from the ground. Remember the Cane and Abel saga in the good book? The truth of the matter in Kenya is that there are tons of Kenyans crying for justice. The post election troubles of 2008 claimed close to 5000 souls (Kumekucha figures) although official figures claim slightly above 600. The vast majority of these souls were innocent. And that is not counting all the innocent Kenyans before that who were sent to an early grave courtesy of one Jomo Kenyatta and Daniel arap Moi. Or the ones who were denied being brought up by a father.
  
  God also says in his good book that vengeance is his. Not that the down-trodden of Kenya would have any means of exacting their own revenge.
  This is the only way I can begin to understand what seems to be unfolding before our very eyes on the Kenyan political scene. It is all too shocking to fanthom. And yet it is happening.
  
  Firstly the political class in broad daylight enthusiastically passed a constitution that would put them in serious trouble (as is already beginning to happen). It is important to note that those in our political class are many things BUT they are NOT fools. Indeed some of the most intelligent, smart and best educated Kenyans are in politics today. It still beats me how nobody in this bunch of smarts saw that passing the new constitution would come back to haunt them big time. I honestly couldn’t believe my eyes when the likes of George Saitoti so enthusiastically drummed up support for the new katiba. Just watch what happens next to the good old professor. HINT:- plenty of skeletons will emerge from the man’s closet.
  
  Political showboating
  Now even before we can analyze all the drama unfolding in Kenya at the moment with big shots falling like dominoes as their colleagues shake uncontrollably in their boots wondering where the axe is going to fall next, a totally unexpected twist has been thrown into the mix. Eldoret North legislator who was right inside the engine room of trouble when the post election violence of early 2008 broke, has chosen to bare all to the ICC. Effectively Ruto (with the help of his lawyers) spent the marathon sessions recently with the chief prosecutor Luiz Moreno Ocampo delivering damning evidence against the two principals. In effect Ruto’s defense is that he was only reluctantly following instructions from his superiors who are guiltier than he is.
  
  If you are sitting there thinking that the two principals will sit and let events take their own course then you have another think coming. One of the very valuable pieces of evidence in the possession of one of the principals are recordings of cell phone conversations Ruto made with others on the ground during the violence. These kind of recordings are not admissible in a court of law in Kenya, however the ICC is something else and these are the kind of recordings that Ocampo would love to get his hands on.
  
  Then there are the court cases now rapidly catching up with Ruto. Indeed the way things are going Ruto could be behind bars long before we hear from the ICC. Which would imply that Ruto knowing that he was going down opted not to go down alone but bring down everybody else with him, especially the high and mighty (namely the two principals who seem to have given instructions that his court cases now proceed with speed).
  
  Fascinating stuff guys. Terribly fascinating stuff.
  
  Ruto lawyer details planned defence at the Hague that is based on prosecuting the two principals first
  
  When Ruto started running out of options
  
  Leading car dealers MombasaKumekucha

  
  

• Tanzania: Most popular presidential candidate did not do enough

  Posted: November 4, 2010, 4:16 am by kumekucha

  Is Kikwete the most useless president Tanzania ever had? Was Nyerere justified in denying him the presidency?
  
  All indications are that President Jakaya Kiwkete will be announced the winner of the just concluded presidential elections in Tanzania. This is one result that will dishearten many Tanzanians.
  The most popular presidential candidate in Tanzania, but hey, this is Africa.
  
  But for the rest of East Africans there are interesting lessons to be learnt here from one Jakaya Kikwete. There are similarities between Jakaya Kikwete and Mwai Kibaki apart from the fact that both held the Finance ministry portfolio when they made history as the youngest Finance ministers in their respective countries. Kibaki was finance Minister in Kenya in his 30s whilst Kikwete got the coveted docket in Tanzania at 44.
  
  Kibaki and Kikwete are the kind of leaders that are way too eager to lead. Folks in a big hurry to be president before clearly crystallizing their policies and what they want to do with the presidential powers their lust after. You will see these kind of leaders pretty often. The kind that are just too eager to take over office, cocky and very sure that they can do a better job even before they take the time to carefully analyze the job and what the current office bearers are doing and have done. Many times they will frequently rubbish the work of their predecessors in words and actions (Kibaki did it openly, Kikwete less so).
  
  It is said that in 1995 the late Julius Kabarage Nyerere prevailed on CCM to opt for William Mkapa as their presidential candidate rather than Kikwete to take over the presidency from then president Ali Hassan Mwinyi (who is the man who came after Nyerere.) The founding father of Tanzania was always a keen judge of human character and hardly missed anything. Dramatically during the presidential nomination process Kikwete was clearly carrying the day over Mkapa when the wise Nyerere suddenly and unexpectedly called for a break. Obviously it was not for him to enjoy a cup of tea or cold Pepsi (found only in Tanzania in the entire East African region) but clearly it was for him to do some subtle lobbying. He urged his CCM comrades to opt for Mkapa rather than Kikwete and “to give the young man some more years to mature” (Nyerere’s exact words). No doubt these were very hurting words to Kikwete then but in retrospect Tanzanians have one more critical thing to thank Mwalimu for. He saw many years ago what Tanzanians are only realizing now. Indeed although Kikwete has worked hard to position himself to the public as a keen student of Nyerere the truth is that he finally got elected over Nyerere’s long-dead body and chances are that the old wise man of Tanzania would have denied Kikwete the presidency yet again was he still alive to lobby within the CCM high command. And with good reason. Mkapa’s steadier wiser hand apparently had much more attention to detail and gave Tanzania the best 10 years that economy has ever seen. In those 10 years Tanzania changed so dramatically that they suddenly had a problem of too many Kenyans flooding the job market there where opportunities were numerous fueled by the suddenly rapidly growing economy. In retrospect it is obvious that Mkapa understood a lot of things that the arrogant JK did not take time to grasp.
  
  As it is Kikwete will go down in history as the least popular Tanzanian president ever. A close friend based in Tanzania for many years sent me an interesting email this week that perfectly illustrates the feelings of most Tanzanians towards this president;
  
  “Chris, people here are disenchanted with Kikwete. He's a populist and yet doesn't seem to be delivering 'Maisha bora kwa kila Mtanzania'. He talks of fighting corruption but there are many corrupt guys in his party (and government). Some, whose cases are in court, were running to be re-elected this year. Kikwete literally went to their constituencies during the campaigns and told the wananchi that those court cases and accusations were fabrications. Imagine the cheek!”
  
  Amazingly like Kibaki, on taking over office Kikwete wanted to do too many things. In many ways the insinuation here is that your predecessor did nothing and has therefore left you with too much work to do. Basic management demands that you must prioritize and focus on a few key areas. Kikwete and Kibaki ignored this cardinal rule and woke up one morning to realize that their initial 5 year term was already over and they hardly had anything to show for it.
  
  What Mr Kikwete must do now is use his remaining 5 years to repair some of the damage he has done to Mkapa’s good work and then focus on one critical area that he will want to be remembered for. As it is now most Tanzanians only remember him for pain. He might want to borrow a leaf from Kibaki and initiate the process for a new constitution or at the very least major changes to the laws that govern this huge sleeping giant of a nation.Kumekucha

  
  

• Of a dead body in the bus and hypocritical Kenyans

  Posted: October 31, 2010, 1:15 am by kumekucha

  Humans are by nature pretty hypocritical but what really pisses me off is how Kenyans prefer to go to great lengths to help and please a dead person they ignored when they were alive.
  
  When they are alive you cannot spare the 20 bob they so desperately beg for, claiming that you don’t have it. But if they fall dead that very day, you will spend Kshs 200 on flowers for his grave without thinking about it and make time to go to his funeral. Why? Where would your money and time have been more useful? I would rather do everything I can for somebody when they are still alive and even skip their funeral altogether. That will be much more appreciated.
  Now that I have gotten that off my chest let me get on with my story today which is about a dead Kenyan body.
  
  There are some communities in our beloved country (which shall remain nameless) that would never hear of burying a tribes mate in the city. No matter how poor his friends are they will do everything in their power to transport the body “back home”. Does it really matter where a body is buried once somebody is dead? You might as well throw it in the forest or dispose of it in the most environment-friendly manner. But alas, just one more of those hypocritical things we do as humans, deep respect for dead bodies and all. Huge expense for the gold casket, big budget for a funeral and for what?
  
  And so this chap from that nameless tribe stayed in the mortuary for many weeks as those responsible ran all over the place looking for funds to transport the body. They tried everything to get their hands on enough cash. They failed and so they racked their brains trying to get a solution to ensure that marehemu reached home all the way from Nairobi where they had passed on.
  
  The measly funds collected were barely enough to cover the mortuary expenses and what remained was used to hire the services of an expert on dead bodies who used the right kind of chemicals, perfumes on the body so that it could be transported in a bus amongst the living without anybody realizing what was going on. The dead man was helped into the late bus bound for the Western parts of the country by three friends who told the driver that he was very sick. Only one friend traveled with the “sick man” and the other two alighted. Of course the dead man wore a hat and virtually had every part of their body well covered.
  
  It looked like an ingenious yet bizarre method of transporting a dead body and indeed everything went according to plan until the bus reached somewhere close to Naivasha. The man “escorting” the body must have been very exhausted (or maybe the fumes from the chemicals used on the body made him pass out) and had fallen asleep and so as the bus applied emergency brakes the dead body jumped up all over the place and ended up on the floor of the bus. The ice cold dead body must have touched somebody because the scream which followed caused the lights in the bus to be switched on and behold, everybody saw that it was a dead body. A dead body traveling with the living.
  
  The bus was driven to the nearest police station where the body and its’ escort disembarked and the bus with the source of this story continued on their journey. And so they never found out what happened after that. Those were the days when daily newspapers were run by conservative editors who had little time or interest to follow up on such a story when there was allegedly more juicy stuff on the political front like some illiterate politician who was fond of handing over envelopes with cash to the press saying that one did not need to go to school to rule Kenyans. There was only one TV station then, KBC and you would be sure that such a story would never be “approved” for airing. This thing happened sometime in the 90s.
  
  Kenya police forget what happens to dead body that clearly shows evidence of what they did
  
  Many, many dead bodies: The still untold story of the Mathare killing fields
  
  Prime Beach plots for sale at the Kenyan CoastKumekucha

  
  

• Election Results: Will there be trouble in Tanzania after Sunday?

  Posted: October 29, 2010, 12:02 pm by kumekucha

  As opinion polls (including the Kumekucha one) show that opposition candidate will win presidency from Kikwete
  
  
  On Sunday Kenya’s next door neighbours, Tanzania go to the polls. The reality on the ground is that the Tanzanians have been watching with great interest and then envy as Kenya has gone through a very eventful two years or so. Tanzanians are now asking why ordinary folks in their country cannot be like Kenyans who to them appear to be very much aware of their rights and willing to fight for them.
  
  I was shocked beyond words recently when I overheard ordinary Tanzanians in a Dar-es-salaam surburb discussing Sunday’s polls and saying that it would be a good idea to stock up in food and stay indoors, expecting the worst. The reason for my surprise is that despite the reports of election violence that always emerge from Zanzibar during almost every general election, election violence is hardly the style of Tanzanians, more so on the mainland.
  Is this man capable of doing a Kibaki this Sunday?
  
  To most Kenyans (like the guys who never miss an opportunity to spew tribal hatred in this blog) it would be mighty difficult to understand Tanzanian politics. Tribalism hardly exists in this country that is almost the size of both Kenya and Uganda put together and boasts of over 140 tribes (to Kenya’s 40 something). Neither is there a history of certain tribes reigning supreme over others. The one man who must take the most credit for this unity that is rare to find in any African country is the founding father the late Mwalimu Julius Kabarage Nyerere. While Kenya’s Tom Mboya and Jomo Kenyatta prided themselves in national symbols based on strong animals like the lion, Nyerere quietly chose the unassuming Giraffe. And there is plenty of proof in the man’s life that he was able to see extremely far into the horizon so much so that he still holds great sway even from the grave. Nyerere unified the country by aggressively adopting the Swahili language into the fabric and way of life of Tanzanians. Whilst it is true that Tanzanians are now busy going to extreme lengths to undo this by ensuring that their children grow up learning English from an early age and ignoring Kiswahili altogether, they have Nyerere to thank for the fact that despite the unprecedented high tensions that are being witnessed in the country’s politics, what happened in Kenya in early 2008 can never happen in Tanzania. Whatever Kikwete or CCM decide to do on Sunday.
  
  Incidentally what I admire most about Nyerere is that fact that while Jomo Kenyatta was busy grabbing every available fertile piece of land he could lay his hands on and enriching himself, Nyerere was focused on serving his people. So much so that by the time his retirement came round, his people were so embarrassed about his rural shack that they opted to hurriedly build him a house. Even today the Nyerere family are ordinary folks feeling the current strain of the economy in the country. Wow!! Can you imagine Uhuru Kenyatta broke? Or Mama Ngina Kenyatta applying for a bank loan to pay school fees for some of her grand children? Or Kenyans being ashamed of any politician’s rural home so much so that they opt to build them a house?
  
  Nyerere is long dead but he still looms large in many aspects of Tanzanian life and to understand the country’s politics one cannot avoid studying the man in great detail. For instance crime levels are still spectacularly low in Tanzania, more so violent crime. One of the reasons is the system of Majumba kumi (ten households) established by Nyerere. Covering the vast country of 40 million people it ensures that hardly anything happens without the knowledge of authorities. There is a leader appointed over every ten households who reports to authorities any developments in their area of jurisdiction including the arrival of strangers and would-be criminals. This makes it extremely difficult to plan for any serious violent crime without attracting attention. Buying arms and amassing arrows like happened in the Rift Valley prior to the ill-fated 2007 elections would be impossible.
  
  But now despite this kind of past, the general elections on Sunday looms large for the Giraffe nation. The ruling CCM (Chama cha mapinduzi) is faced with the fight of its’ life. More so its’ presidential candidate Jakaya Mrisho Kikwete. Traditionally the main opposition party in Tanzania has been CUF, a party that has huge following in Zanzibar and amongst Muslims in Tanzania. However seemingly out of nowhere a man called Dr Willibrod Slaa a charismatic orator who bases answers to almost all questions asked on the ordinary Tanzanian reeling under considerable financial strain currently. Political analysts predict a close race. I have been on a tour of Tanzania recently and I can authoritatively report that Chadema’s Slaa has enough legs to win the presidential race by a respectable margin. As to who will be announced winner (which is what matters here) all I can say is that this is Africa.
  
  But despite whatever credentials Slaa my have, the truth is that he is just a man who found himself at the right place at the right time. Tanzanians are aching for the change that they have seen coming to their next door neighbours Kenya and it is only natural that not many see that change coming from the ruling party CCM’s presidential candidate Jakaya Kikwete. More so after the devastating effect on their daily lives that his rule has had. Not to mention the broken promises to a much more aware and restless electorate.
  
  I am taking steps to caution all my Kenyan friends residing in Tanzania to be careful and alert on Sunday because anything can happen. Mercifully whatever it is that may happen can never come close to the bloodbath we saw in Kenya in 2008.
  
  
  New opinion poll shows that opposition candidate will win Tanzanian presidency
  
  Main opposition party claims that rigging is being planned through ghost voters
  
  Where some of Kiwkete’s popularity problems started
  Kikwete love triangle that earned sexy Congolese musician life sentence (read the second comment on the page that opens from the link)
  
  Views of the Tanzanian business community on the impact of the looming general elections
  
  How the first few months of Kikwete caused jitters amongst foreigners living in Tanzania
  
  Election results in Tanzania since independenceKumekucha

  
  

• Beware!!! Do you hate young Kenyans because they play their music too loudly?

  Posted: September 12, 2010, 6:04 am by kumekucha

  There was this restaurant in Nairobi being run by a man in his fifties. He had been operating it for over 20 years and KNEW all the right things to do. Only that business gradually went downhill over the years. Finally, with the debts mounting he decided to call in a business consultant with the intention of selling off the restaurant for the best price possible.
  
  It did not take long for the “young” executive from a well know accounting firm in Nairobi to figure out what the problem was.
  
  Then Senator Barack Obama addressing a crowd of mostly young Kenyans
  
  What had happened over the years is that the owner grew older and lost touch with his target clientele. He was busy doing things that would attract people his own age into his restaurant, sadly most of those guys are in semi-retirement and few of those still in Nairobi would go into a fast food joint in a prime location in the CBD.
  
  The restaurant owner hated young folks. He did not like the way they dressed, they played their music too loudly and talked too loudly. He really hated their morals and their guts. And it showed in his restaurant. But sadly those were the guys he was supposed to be targeting.
  
  This is the reason why many corporate companies these days change their marketing department teams pretty frequently never allowing them to grow too old. The result is that they easily stay in touch with their target market.
  
  The way Kenyan politicians are behaving at the moment reminds me of that short-sighted restaurant owner, running a fast food joint for pensioners. It is business as usual for many of our politicians and they are busy playing the usual game of tribal arithmetic.
  
  Today the Sunday Nation published a fascinating article based on the recently released Census figures that reveals that there will be an additional almost 6 million young people who will be eligible to vote for the first time in 2012. That is in addition to the high number of youngsters who unanimously gave a nod to the proposed constitution in the August referendum. According to my contacts on the ground older people voted against the draft constitution for various reasons and what made the difference is the huge percentage of young voters. Now picture the impact considering that another 6 million youngsters will be eligible to register as voters by 2012. And judging by the increased awareness amongst the young about how critical politics is to their daily lives, chances are that a sizeable percentage of these youngsters will register as voters.
  
  Many politicians and even readers of this blog KNOW that Kenyans ALWAYS vote along tribal lines. They KNOW that the way to win a presidential election is to organize some powerful tribal alliances. They KNOW that elections in Kenya have never been issue-based. Well, they will know a little different in 2012.
  
  Incidentally targeting the young is NOT giving exciting speeches and telling jokes that young folks can identify with.
  
  Issues are very important for the brand new young voters of Kenya who will decide the next occupant of State house. Corruption is something else that has been brought to the forefront in recent times. Good looks too are important. And then these guys easily get bored and so very few presidential candidates if any will be able to successfully make long speeches and still hold the attention of their audiences. And as the Matuga constituency by-election a few months ago clearly illustrated the young people of Kenya are pretty unpredictable and can easily change their minds at the very last minute.
  
  Revisiting long boring speeches, if you are Kalonzo Musyoka you will bore your audience who are already upset with your water melon ways and then blame your political rival for taking the trouble to organize a jeering crowd just for you from Kibera. The point is that such politicians stuck in their old ways of doing things will find it extremely tough going in 2012.
  
  By the way the restaurant I started this post with was saved and retains the same owner to this day, only that he has employed some young mangers and listens to their suggestions. He hates young people less these days. Or shall we say that he is a lot more tolerant?
  
  See also:
  Breakthrough For Young Kenyan Presidential Candidate: Winds Of Change Blowing From Congo
  
  Kenya youth are not idiotsKumekucha

  
  

• Al Shabab terrorist attack was diverted from Kenya at last minute

  Posted: September 10, 2010, 9:58 am by kumekucha

  Kumekucha exclusive
  
  Somali terrorists deliberately chose a Ugandan target when a Kenyan one would have been more effective in sending their message home because they wanted to protect their vast interests in Kenya. This country has clearly become their centre of operating and the hub of the economy that keeps many Somali activities, legal or otherwise going.
  
  This is after months of activities that suggested that Kenya was being set up for a terrorist attack. Last year several explosive devices linked to terrorist activities were found in the country. Which suggests that there was a change of heart at the last minute in deciding to target Uganda a landlocked country that is of little or no use to the Somali community.
  
  In shocking information made available to Kumekucha it emerges that Kenya is such an important centre of activity for Somalis based all over the world that if they were to be shut down in Kenya everything would ground to a halt for them. Financial activities ranging from piracy earnings transfers to the financing of the same activities to financial activities to keep the Al Shabab going are all transacted through Kenya.
  
  Indeed most of these activities suffered a massive temporary blow last January shortly after the riots over Muslims demanding the release of the radical Jamaican cleric, Abdullah al-Faisal, broke out in Nairobi. Faisal is on a global terror watch list and served four years in a British jail for inciting racial hatred. He secretly entered Kenya through Tanzania only to become a hot brick nobody wanted to touch and no airline wanted to fly out. In a major blunder Somali youths mainly believed to be from neighbouring Somalia caused mayhem especially around the Jamia mosque area which led to a massive crack down by the government to eject illegal Somali immigrants from the country. The crack down was more effective in lining the pockets of some officials with plenty of hard currency from Somalis rather than in solving any immigration problems facing the country. Still Somali power brokers learnt a lot from the mishap and the word on the street now is NOT to upset the apple cart in Nairobi in any way because it will jeopardize a lot of other “important things.”
  
  In other words the shocking truth is that Kenya was saved from a terrorist attack only because of her generosity and welcoming hands to illegally immigrants from Somalia and allowing Somalis to set up shop for all kinds of illegal activities right here in Kenya no questions asked.
  
  My informants tell me that in this kind of scenario it is extremely unlikely that Kenya will ever be a target for any Al Shabab attack. At least for now. But even more interesting is that this information suggests a clear link between terrorism and big Somali money in Kenya which is rather scary.Kumekucha

  
  

• Goodbye Safaricom?

  Posted: August 18, 2010, 1:46 am by kumekucha

  Major battle for Kenyan cell phone subscribers shapes up
  Even as the great battle for Kenyan voters begins to take shape, another phenomenal war albeit this time on the business front was launched yesterday by Kenya’s previously sleepy mobile phone services provider Zain Kenya.
  
  In a shock move, the company reduced call tariffs to Kshs 3 per minute across all networks and Kshs 1 for SMS messages across all networks.
  
  Safaricom’s Michael Joseph tried hard to look composed but there was no doubt that he was badly shaken even as he assured the press that such low rates were unsustainable. But when pushed by shrewd and alert business journalists, he admitted that the move by Zain was headed in precisely the right direction for any company looking to win market share in the Kenyan situation.
  
  To a casual observer who is unaware of the latest developments at Zain the latest move may look like more confusion at Zain. More so when one considers that only last year, the company registered a loss, largely attributed to its low cross-network tariff campaign, Vuka. The campaign pulled its average revenue per user (ARPU) to record lows of $6 (Sh462) down from $7 (Sh539) in 2007 but failed to bring in a significant amount of new subscribers or increased use and thus revenues. Net losses increased to Sh6.9 billion from Sh1.67 billion in 2007 on lower revenues and increased administrative costs mainly due to costs related to network expansion
  
  However a closer examination reveals that the main hand behind the latest dramatic price reductions at Zain is the new Indian owner Bharti Airtel. Those who have visited India or understand how business is done in that country will quickly realize that Safaricom has a lot to worry about this time round. India is the only country I know in the world where numerous enterprises thrive on margins of 5 per cent or less. I kid you not. Indian entrepreneurs have learnt how to make their profits by going for extremely high volumes. Contrast that to the Kenyan situation where no serious business person wants to consider profit margins below 200 per cent or thereabouts.
  
  There is no doubt that the words of Zain CEO Rene Meza yesterday must have sent a chill down several spines at Safaricom headquarters in Westalnds. He said; "The tariff is not an offer, but a value proposition, which will make mobile services affordable."
  
  This blog has been accused of giving too much credit to Safaricom’s Michael Jospeph and making him look like a business genius of sorts and in a way Mr Joseph has had it very easy thus far. He arrived in Kenya to find an aging Kencell (previous name for Zain) managing director whose understanding of competitive marketing was wanting. Joseph proceeded to take over the market with a clever per second billing campaign that gave the illusion of reduced call charges just because he was billing per second. Kencell stuck to their per minute billing system and only changed when it was too late and the damage had been done. In this way Joseph was able to charge higher and still take over the market from his hapless competitors. What this meant is that he was also able to quickly build a war chest for marketing while stealing market share at the same time and the rest as they say is history. It was a fascinating albeit one-sided battle. At one point the then sleepy Kencell managing director Philipe Vandebrouck told Kenyans that his call rates were akin to buying a whole bottle of wine at a restaurant which is always cheaper than being charged per glassful (which is what Safaricom were doing). He was telling this to the vast majority of Kenyans who have never been to a smart restaurant let alone ordered a bottle of wine. Wananchi accustomed to dirty dingy kiosks wondered what the old mzungu was talking about and continued to troop in large numbers to Safaricom.
  
  Now in Bharti Airtel, Safaricom have for the first time a serious competitor to match their wits with. Sadly Michael Joseph has already announced his exit later this year as Managing director at Safaricom although he will continue to sit on the board and play a crucial advisory role. Just as well because I see a serious exodus of subscribers to Zain in the coming weeks. The only question is if the company has the infrastructure in place to sustain reasonable service in the wake of a sudden surge in the use of its’ network. Whatever happens the next few months should be very interesting and a great time for budding entrepreneurs to watch and learn.
  
  For those ineterested in entrepreneurship this discussion on Entrepreneurship in India reveals some of the problems and helps foster a deeper understanding of the current situation on the ground.Kumekucha

  
  

• Goodbye Kalonzo Musyoka and many others

  Posted: August 6, 2010, 11:38 pm by kumekucha

  See also Phil's Tit bits on referendum results
  
  If you can read and understand English just try and read Kenya’s new constitution again. This time carefully and then when you are done, tell me if Kenyan politics can remain the same—whatever crafty thing the political class tries to do next.
  
  Indeed the mystery deeply bothering me just now is how the highly intelligent political class rallied behind this very constitution that will for sure come back to haunt and destroy them. Were they drunk for all those months that they traveled country-wide drumming up support for the document? Did they not read carefully what they were supporting?
  
  Even more interesting is how Kenyan politics has changed so quickly over the last few months (even before the new constitution is implemented) as so dramatically illustrated by the voting patterns countrywide for the proposed document.
  
  Many analysts have argued that the reason why Ukambani stood so firmly against the proposed constitution had to do with them listening to the church. I come from the area and I can tell you that is NOT true. The truth is much more complicated than that. For starters there has been a backlash brewing against Vice president Kalonzo Musyoka in Ukambani for a very long time now. (Interestingly in Kalonzo’s own constituency of Mwingi North Yes won unconvincingly with 24,489 votes against 14,780 for “No”).
  
  I happened to be in Machakos town in 2008 when Kalonzo made the ill-advised decision to celebrate his Silver Jubilee in politics and his being appointed vice president in the town. It is instructive that he did not hold these celebrations in his constituency or even in Mwingi or Kitiu but in Machakos which is very far from his constituency. Even then, the way locals in Machakos were talking you would have been convinced that they were preparing to stone the man to death. The main cause of all these anti-Kalonzo emotions had something to do with the fact that in his long political career he has done nothing for his people on the ground. Something that nobody would dare point out in the Kanu days.
  
  Another factor that influenced voting patterns amongst the Akamba people is a factor that applied right across the country and is a pointer to what we should expect in 2012. More so under the new constitution. It seems that the era of Kenyan voters voting as a block and without thinking very much has ended. Slowly but surely the days of tribal chiefs are on their way out of Kenyan politics. We saw the same thing in Eldoret North where the area MP William Ruto used every trick in the book (including a lot of white lies) to get the voters to turn against the new constitution. Well a sizeable amount of his constituents voted yes. Almost half of them. That is very telling indeed.
  
  What should make politicians really scared is the fact that the new Kenyan voter is young restless and very unpredictable. But they will mostly base their final decision on merit.
  
  But even before Kenyans voted in the historic referendum on Wednesday the signs were already clearly emerging that Kenyan politics would never be the same again.
  
  Let’s revisit the last YES rally at Uhuru park last weekend. Two prospective presidential candidates to me looked like they were really struggling with Kenya’s new politics. The first was ODM’s Musalia Mudavadi. He gave what appeared to be a good speech and quoted the founding father of the Tanzanian nation the late Mwalimu Julius Nyerere. To be honest I enjoyed his speech myself in comparison to some of the other crazy remarks some politicians were making. But the crowd at Uhuru park yawned and fidgeted. It was an excellent speech BUT to the wrong audience. The Kenyan voter is today extremely young and restless and has little time for intellectual discourses or ancient history, even if they are well read (haven’t I learnt that lesson the hard way right here in Kumekucha with my love for Kenyan history? These days I have to carefully package history into current affairs.)
  
  The other politician who was clearly struggling was Kalonzo Musyoka. He learnt from his mistake of last time and tried very hard to use Raila to ride on the mood of the rowdy youths at Uhuru park. The effort fell flat on its’ face and made him look weak. Too little too late. The voting patterns amongst Kalonzo’s own Akamba people and even right in his own constituency a few days later just went on to confirm what everybody saw at Uhuru Park.
  
  It is instructive that the two politicians I have mentioned from both sides of the political divide are former KANU diehards. It seems that those who thrived on Kanu’s rubber-stamp-and-kneel-down-before-the-king politics are going to have no place in the new Kenya. Thus it is hardly surprising that whispers within ODM have it that Musalia greatly disappointed and failed completely to step into the Captain’s shoes when he was incapacitated recently. A growing number of supporters of the party are now of the view that he should be replaced and the party should get another “stronger” character to the position.
  
  In the same breath if PNU are interested in making an impact in the next general elections then Kalonzo Musyoka should not feature anywhere in the 2012 line up. Get me very right here because I am NOT being personal. Just ask yourself the simple question; what does he have to offer? What will he bring to the table?
  
  So the new politician in Kenya has got to package their message just right for young voters who are now the majority and who quickly and easily get bored. At the same Uhuru Park rally one politician despite his advanced age managed to do just that. Prime Minister Raila Odinga used his infamous soccer analogy and almost brought the house down. Some silly visitors to this blog continue to insist on painting me as a Raila sympathizer and supporter which is just not true (ask Phil and he will tell you how often he gets upset about what I frequently write about his beloved captain here. Still you have to give it to our Phil for always being consistent about his political leanings right from the time I first met him in 2005 when this blog started.)
  
  Hate him or like him, the truth of the matter is that Raila’s speech at Uhuru Park was highly entertaining while beautifully driving the political message home. I myself rolled on the floor in laughter when he reached the part where the ball was passed to Bishop Wanjiru and then she slipped and fell and got injured so seriously that she had to be carried off the pitch. He was of course referring to the recent misfortunes of the Bishop where she lost her parliamentary seat in a court petition.
  
  To some folks who think that they have gone to school, the whole charade looks childish and unbecoming for a whole principal and member of the executive of the republic of Kenya. To the voters it was hilarious and no doubt many who may not have made up their mind about the draft constitution at that point were influenced to vote in a manner that pleased the entertaining PM a few days later. For instance in the PM’s home province of Nyanza the support for a new constitution was overwhelming. 1,174, 033 people voted YES which represented a total of 91 per cent of the votes cast. Only a paltry 101, 491 representing 8 per cent said NO to the new constitution. You really can’t argue with those figures can you?
  
  Good people, whatever the flaws and shortcomings of the new constitution, you can be sure of one thing. Kenyan politics has dramatically changed forever. Prepare yourself for the entry of some very new kids on the block.
  
  P.S. My estimates of the win that the YES side would get turned out to be off the mark. I had said 85% having adjusted it from my earlier 75% of the total votes cast. Other pollsters put the figure at around 60% and they too were wrong. It turned out that the correct figure was somewhere in the middle at about 70%. But then polls are not always accurate to the exact percentage. Not only that, politics is usually very fluid and many politicians facing certain defeat have won elections just because something changed on the ground just before voters went to the polls. It happens all the time and it happens all over the world. I know for a fact that there were a lot of dirty things that went on in the Rift Valley in the last few days (remember the man who said on TV that he was voting against the new constitution because it limited land ownership to 10 acres and he had more than that and didn’t want to lose his land?)
  
  Anyway, I know I have many enemies here insistent on splitting hairs because for some reason they see me as a threat (my advice to them is to concentrate on the more serious threat to their game at the moment—namely our new constitution). However the point to be noted is that despite the noise NO fellows were making about “rigged” polls, Kumekucha and the other pollsters were absolutely correct about the sentiments of the people on the ground. I am delighted that once again my faithful readers have been able to prove that I indeed have my fingers constantly on the pulse of the Kenyan nation and the people on the ground and that is one of the reasons why some important people I know always take notes when reading my posts here.Kumekucha

  
  

• Why does Bishop Wanjiru support the very constitution that has given her a raw deal?

  Posted: August 1, 2010, 8:34 am by kumekucha

  Plus... Will there be peace during the referendum vote?
  
  I have watched with interest the court battle over the Starehe parliamentary seat that ended recently with Bishop Margaret Wanjiru losing her parliamentary seat.
  
  As usual Kenyans have a very short memory. Of all constituencies in the country none can compete with this one when it comes to the dirty tricks that were employed in 2007. Most of them were targeted at Bishop Margaret Wanjiru. You will remember that he ex-husband suddenly and unexpectedly emerged from the woodwork and caused all kinds of troubles for the brave woman candidate.
  Bishop Wanjiru with former Mungiki leader Maina Njenga at her church, Njenga is in the YES camp.
  
  But of greater interest should be what happened after the election winner was announced and everybody forgot about the ballot boxes. Sources assure me that there was massive ballot box stuffing which is the main evidence that was used to enable Maina Kamanda win his petition against Ms Wanjiru. How the court would recognize votes from ballot boxes that had clearly been tampered with is beyond me. But then that is Kenya under the current constitution for you.
  
  But then that is one of the things about the current constitution. In simple terms under it what matters most is who you are and who you knew and coupled with a little cash there is nothing that you cannot do in this Kenya. The draft constitution gives firm ground for ordinary Kenyans with no connections as well as underdogs to fight against such devices and impunity as well as the rich and the connected.
  
  Ironically Bishop Wanjiru is opposing the very constitution that would have saved her many of the problems that she has faced over the Starehe seat. But then I guess her hands are tied. She cannot be seen to be against the rest of the church. The church in Kenya that wants help in fighting sin from the country’s constitution. Interestingly those with this kind of thinking should study carefully what happened in the United States during the prohibition era when alcohol was banned. It proves beyond any doubt that the way to fight certain things is not to make laws against them.
  
  To her credit Bishop Wanjiru seems to have matured enormously in politics. After the announcement of the court verdict in which she lost her seat she resisted the usual thing we see from politicians of the fairer sex. Mostly whining and crying foul. Instead an upbeat Wanjiru announced that she was ready for the by-election and had registered a victory of sorts because her opponent had failed to get the court to announce him the rightful winner.
  
  
  P.S. There seems to be great fear amongst some Kenyans that the referendum will yield more violence in many part of the country and a repeat of the regrettable events of January 2008. Well for starters the circumstances are very different and what makes violence even more unlikely is the way most ordinary Kenyans have quickly grasped what the draft constitution means to them and their future and will not be fooled by self-serving politicians with an agenda to protect their ill-gotten wealth. The only exception to this are parts of the Rift Valley where the same folks who raped and murdered fellow Kenyans are still roaming free and flexing their muscles. William Ruto on sensing resounding defeat over the coming referendum has rushed back to his home turf in a bid to retain his reputation as the undisputed “tribal king” of the Kalenjin community. The methods this particular politician uses are wide and varied and therefore violence cannot be ruled out. Already there have been reports that certain residents of this province have received threats and have had to flee from their homes ahead of the referendum. It is interesting that at a recent public rally, Ruto has felt it necessary to assure Kenyans that voting will be peaceful.Kumekucha

  
  

• What is Kibaki smoking?

  Posted: July 29, 2010, 1:37 pm by kumekucha

  In my landmark book Dark Secrets of the Kenyan presidency I explore the fascinating transformation that took place in Jomo Kenyatta, a teetotaler who hated alcohol and promised church elders in the 1920s never to touch it again to the land-grabbing mafia don president who ordered hits of those who dared to criticize him or his government. Indeed many people who knew Jomo well lost their lives because they could not bring themselves to believe that he was capable of taking anybody’s life.
  
  Daniel arap Moi too metamorphosed after the failed 1982 coup attempt. From a humble hard working president who had released all political detainees to a dictator who ruled with such a iron hand that some started looking at the bloody Kenyatta days with nostalgia.
  
  Now in his sun set years as President Mwai Kibaki seems to be going through his transformation phase which seems mandatory for every Kenyan president. A politician who has spend his long political career avoiding confrontation at all costs is suddenly itching for political “mud fights.”
  
  What really shocked me beyond any words was that after Moi defended himself against the Kibaki remarks that started this whole thing and fired his own salvo, the president issued a statement through the presidential press unit answering him right back. Aiii!!! That is certainly NOT Kibaki.
  
  I have spent the last two days linking up with all my contacts and State house insiders trying to answer the mystery of who the man impersonating Mwai Kibaki really is. To date I have no answers. Indeed I have more questions that I had when I started.
  
  What has caused this transformation that is so sudden?
  
  One possible reason that is repeatedly being floated by some political analysts is the Kibaki legacy. For somebody who has studied the president for so long this is not so easy to accept. If Kibaki was so concerned about his legacy all along, then surely he would have acted differently during the worst political crisis the country has ever failed in December 2007/January 2008. There is plenty he would have done that he did not do.
  
  Could it be that the preassures of the office have finally taken their toll on Mwai Kibaki just as they did to his predecessors? I have watched the president arrive for many public holidays and as he waves to the crowd many times Kenyans have simply stared back and some of them have had open hatred showing on their faces. A sharp contrast to Moi who even in the years when he was least popular always seemed to elicit some sort of positive response from any crowd of Kenyans. That could not have been any fun for Kibaki. It is human nature to want to be popular and maybe the president has seen the perfect opportunity to make a heroic exit from office when he hands over power in two short years.
  
  To be honest folks, I am puzzled.
  
  Incidentally retired president Moi could be smoking something even more potent than what Kibaki is taking. A man who terrorized and crashed all opposition to his rule (real and imagined) is now telling Kenyans in public and with a straight face that he did it all for the good of Kenyans. Can you believe that?
  
  ---------------------
  What Kibaki said:
  
  Some old men are moving around saying the constitution is bad It is a shame for such old men. He should stop panicking and join us so that we can pass the constitution
  
  Moi’s long rejoinder:
  
  “There are those who promised a new constitution within 100 days, but they are yet to deliver.”
  
  The former president maintained that all he was interested in was a united Kenya, where all lived in peace. He said to make a good constitution it was important to ensure that the needs of every Kenyan were safeguarded, failure to which the country will be divided
  
  "Some are saying Moi was a dictator, but for me I was interested in peace and love among Kenyans and I strived to ensure that the country was united," he said.
  
  The former president said constitution making was not like everyday politics saying it needed thorough consultations to ensure no one was left out of the process.
  
  Mr Moi said during his tenure as president he ensured that Kenya was united and in peace unlike today where people are divided along tribal lines.
  
  Moi said he will not support a constitution that allows abortion, same sex marriages and disciplined forces to picket.
  
  "How will the country respond to any security threat if the soldiers were picketing?" he posed.
  
  He was referring to Article 26 (4) in the Proposed Constitution that empowers doctors to end a pregnancy only if it endangers the woman's life or she needs emergency treatment.
  
  The document also provides that no Kenyan will be discriminated against on grounds of age, marital status, disability, sex, religion among others and does not refer to same sex marriages.
  
  While the Proposed Constitution acknowledges that every Kenyan has the right to join association, protest, hold demonstrations and picket, it removes the right for the security agencies.Kumekucha

  
  

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• Chirau Ali Mwakwere wins Matuga seat back

  Posted: July 13, 2010, 2:01 am by kumekucha

  Breaking News
  
  The man Kenyans love to hate bounces back in style
  
  Kenyans don’t like him. Indeed many who have worked closely with the man say that he is a difficult man. But Matuga voters thought otherwise yesterday and unanimously returned their man Mwakwere to parliament. The former transport Minister got 16,350 votes against his closest rival Hassan Mwanyoha of the Orange Democratic Movement (ODM) who had 10,887 votes
  Despite his arrogance, investigations by Kumekucha show that Mwakwere has an excellent development record on the ground coupled with the simple fact that the Digo community had to protect one of their own more so when he seemed to be under such serious threat with all the Coast billionaires pouring money in the constituency to ensure that he lost.
  
  Indeed the political campaign against Mwakwere got rather vicious at one point where somebody photocopied hundreds of thousand of letters purported to be a leaked Memo from the Keny Ferry service where Mwakwere allegedly directed that passengers start paying a small fee to cross the ferry. My man on the ground says that the move backfired badly because most of the ferry commuters reading the letter angrily declared that the letter was fake and that somebody was out to finish Mwakwere.
  
  One Matuga constituent told my man on the ground that Mwakwere has brought more development to Matuga than all other previous MPs put together despite the fact that he has never been allowed to settle down properly in his parliamentary seat. It is not clear what the constituent meant by “settle down properly in his parliamentary seat” but it probably has something to do with the numerous controversies Mwakwere has found himself in including the infamous Koinage street prostitutes saga.
  
  For now wild celebrations are currently going on in Matuga that are threatening to spill over a much larger part of Coast province.
  
  I shall do another more detailed post later.
  
  Read more about announcement of Mwakwere victory HERE
  
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• Rigging being planned for referendum

  Posted: June 8, 2010, 3:11 am by kumekucha

  For those who don’t know the intricacies of how rigging is usually done, I think it would be right to start with a brief appreciation of certain key points.
  
  - Vote rigging works best when the results are close. That is one of the reasons why Mwai Kibaki’s rigging in December 2007 ended up being so disastrous. The truth is that Raila Odinga had a massive lead. In sharp contrast Moi never got caught because the results were always much closer. He did a good job of dividing the opposition at all costs.
  Prof George Saitoti has perfected the art of rigging in his constituency.
  
  - It is impossible to carry out a rigging exercise without the help of the intelligence service. Why? Because you need very precise and up to date figures to execute a vote rigging operation efficiently. The way it works is that as people are voting you are feverishly collecting figures. In the old days the votes used to be stuffed as the ballot boxes are being transported to one central place in the constituency for counting. These days it is much more expensive because the votes have to be stuffed in each individual polling station. The Kibaki guys went round that by simply ensuring that the vote count that arrives at the ECK was different from what was on the ground. Clean ups were then organized later in the individual constituencies. It is a massive and extremely expensive exercise these days.
  
  - This national model for the country is often executed at a single constituency where the powerful MP uses his own people. One George Saitoti has perfected this system in his constituency.
  
  Folks I am afraid that I have more bad news for you concerning the new constitution most of us are yearning for. Let me start by confessing that for a person with my years of experience I was rather naïve to believe that those who own Kenya would ever allow for an electoral system that they did not have any control over. The truth is that the so caled "tamper-proof" electoral roll has already been tampered with and non-existent voters introduced. And since it is NOT the same electoral roll that we will go to the general elections with, the only conclusion is that the intention is to rig the August 4th Referendum.
  
  The game plan by the powerful owners of Kenya is for the NO camp to catch up with the YES majority so that the difference is around 20% or less. What will then happen is that NO will win with a very slim majority. Enough to deny most Kenyans what they are yearning for so much that they can no longer sleep too well. Those who have read the document and realize the sweeping changes it will bring into the country and the deadly blow it will deal to impunity.
  
  What really scares me is that so far these powerful forces have been able to get things done through the NSIS and have even influenced the judiciary to make certain bizarre rulings. To me that is evidence enough that they are quite capable of going ahead with their well laid plan even as the president tires himself criss-crossing the country campaigning for a new constitution.
  
  There is ONLY one way to stop them. And that is to ensure a landslide victory for YES. Anything less will be dicey.Kumekucha

  
  

• The land does not speak Kalenjin

  Posted: May 24, 2010, 12:33 am by kumekucha

  Retired president Daniel arap Moi: Stirring up trouble for selfish reasons.
  
  If, as some allied to the NO campaign are preaching, my little piece of land will be taken over by the government upon passage of the proposed constitution, then I’ll need little or no incentive to activate the Sabaot Land Defence Forces (SLDF) and related Kalenjin militia to battle Nairobi.
  
  Battle Nairobi, because my ancestors suffered from what has come – in Kenyanese – to be known as “historical injustices.”
  
  As witnessed in 2007/8, either only a foolish or callous regime would want to court massive unrest, predicated on “historical injustices.”
  
  Historical injustices, because my great grandfather was a man of means, occupying land and several heads of cattle in the area surrounding Mt. Elgon.
  
  When some British settler came around, the family lost the wealth, and its members were appropriated as farm-hands in the new enterprise. Two generations later, the clan had been scattered into Bungoma, Uasin Gishu, West Pokot and – in my instance – the wider Trans-Nzoia District, in addition to other parts of the country. I cannot return to my “ancestral” home and claim anything, were I to lose what I call home in Trans-Nzoia. Other people moved in following my grandfather’s displacement, - there’s no telling where the livestock is, and locals have developed new narratives, devoid of our past or immediate presence. The new inhabitants even think colonial history gave us a better lot in Trans-Nzoia, and that we have no business seeking to look back.
  
  Few care to know that the colonial legacy and compromises that gave birth to settlement schemes in Trans-Nzoia, as indeed elsewhere in the Rift Valley province, birthed chronic land problems, now cannon fodder to some in the NO campaign. Few care to know that the land no longer speaks Kalenjin, and that several among us cannot trace our way back to Egypt, Sudan, Shungwaya, the Congo or West Africa. Few care to know that some in the NO campaign – alongside their surrogates in the YES camp - propped up a privileged, propertied elite in Trans-Nzoia, as indeed the rest of the province, at the expense of the rural poor.
  
  When I was in Cherangany to get my vote a few weeks ago, local concerns centered on a powerful elite seeking to dispose off some community land in Chebarus – a major trading center - before the proposed constitution becomes law, when it is feared such deals might be impossible. Taken to its logical end, the NO gospel that individual pieces of land may be taken away can only serve to stoke up embers, and awaken demons of the region’s troubled past.
  
  Thus, former President Moi’s recent warning that stability and peace in the province are contingent on a NO vote ought to be seen for what it is: a coded message for Rift Valley residents to either fuata nyayo, or prepare for the worst. On other occasions, I would have laughed off Moi, and likened his concern for peace and stability to Tony Soprano talking about law and order.
  
  Similarly, I would have easily asked him – as indeed others who have become the political face of NO in the Rift Valley - to take anger management classes from Julius Malema, for their ire at the manner in which the proposed constitution has decidedly re-configured local politics along Moi-era district boundaries. But the time and occasion is such that we just might be witnessing a revolution in Rift Valley politics, so peaceful that those who make periodic violence inevitable could well be on their way to irrelevance. Skewed as it is, the chapter on devolution particularly gives a glimmer of hope for those in the province who have repeatedly been considered “Kenyans in the Diaspora.”
  
  Creating desolation of the kind witnessed in the province in 2007/8, calling it peace and seeking to build electoral alliances around the same is going to be tenuous, particularly if transitional justice in the grander scheme of things runs its course.
  
  Thus I’ll neither laugh at, nor scorn Moi and company: they have a right to be on the other side of history, and to believe that it will absolve them. Instead, I would that both the Kalenjin and non-Kalenjin intelligentsia in the province imagine and labor for a shared future, that’s honest about both the past and present, yet even more hopeful about the future. The effort must be clear, bold, with social justice at its heart and so visionary as to consider a tomorrow grounded on a knowledge economy and less on land as the primary factor of production. It might also be time for a new crop of leaders to emerge in the Rift Valley, over which hovers an unforgettable cloud of witnesses: Jean-Marie Seroney, Chelagat Mutai, Bishop Alexander Muge, Masinde Muliro and others.
  
  Of course all this is predicated on social renewal, and the hope that Wanjiku will genuinely outgrow the narrow ends of ethnic nationalism.
  
  Guest post by Jesse Masai. The writer directs the Institute for Faith, Law and Society in Nairobi
  
  Are you an old boy of Lenana School? Are you interested in rugby? If the answer to both questions is YES, then this brand new blog could be fascinating for you.
  Kumekucha

  
  

• Who is Mwai Kibaki?

  Posted: May 23, 2010, 12:25 pm by kumekucha

  generated by an Adobe application 11.5606 Normal 0 34 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} One of the few things that Kenyans already knew about Mwai Kibaki early on and had known for decades was the fact that he was a brilliant scholar. Of that there is no doubt. Ever since his much older brother in-law a Paul Muruthi had insisted that the young Mwai go to school instead of grazing his father’s herd of sheep and cattle, the young lad seemed a permanent feature right at the very top of his class wherever he went. It is widely know that he was the first African to get the maximum 6 points in his O-levels.
  
  Mwai was the last born son of peasant farmers in Othaya, Gatoyaini village and his father was called Kibaki Githinji and his mother Teresia Wanjiku. Both are long deceased.
  
  It is instructive that on taking over the presidency, the very first thing Kibaki did was to declare free primary school education to all even when the government did not know how it was all going to be financed. It was not like Kibaki a world renowned economist to make such a reckless move.
  Mwai Kibaki: Kenyans still don't really know him.
  
  In an ABC Prime Time TV interview in the US in 2004 former US President Bill Clinton identified Kibaki as the one living person he would most like to meet “because of the Kenyan government’s decision to abolish school fees for primary education”. Clinton added that, by providing free and compulsory primary education, what Kibaki had done would affect more lives than any president had done or would ever do by the end of the first year. The free education programme saw nearly 1.7 million more pupils enrol in school by the end of that year. Clinton’s wish was granted when he visited Kenya and met Kibaki on 22nd July 2005.
  
  But to those who knew Kibaki a little better, it is no surprise that education would be so close to the president’s heart. After all a decision to take him to school so many years earlier had made the whole difference. In deed if there was ever a person for whom it would be said that education had opened all political doors for them, then Mwai Kibaki has to be at the top of that list.
  
  For starters Kanu fetched him from Makerere University, Uganda for him to be Kenya’s first executive officer because it was felt that the Kanu leadership lacked enough depth due to the poor educational background of most. Even Tom Mboya, the most brilliant politician Kenya has seen, did not have a university degree. After independence in 1963 Kibaki quickly found himself at the heart of the country’s financial and economic planning. A parliamentary seat was found for him and won for him by Mboya (this was for Donholm Constituency, subsequently called Bahati and now known as Makadara, in Nairobi) and he was quickly appointed assistant minister and chairman of the powerful Economic Planning Commission in 1963 before he was even 32 years old. He was in the cabinet a short three years later as Minister of commerce and industry and in 1969 became the powerful Finance minister. By any standards this was a very rapid climb. All these doors were opened by his solid educational credentials which were rare in those days and badly required by the young Kenyan nation.
  
  Kibaki himself recognizes this and greatly values educational credentials as we have already seen.
  
  However the down side of this rapid climb which many have still not seen is that Kibaki never had the chance to cut his teeth properly as a bare knuckled politician. This glaring weakness was to show itself many years later when he climbed to the very top of Kenyan politics and became president. It is true to say that of all the three Kenyan presidents, Kibaki was the least qualified as a politician to hold the office.
  
  In many ways this explains the way he has always ended up in the kind of troubles that a more savvy politician would easily have avoided. It also explains why Kibaki has always been the reluctant politician terrified of mudding himself in the normal political mud wrestling that goes with the trade. In fact many times he has gone to great lengths to avoid the “politics”. Odd for a man who has been a politician for so long.
  
  Fascinatingly this characteristic served him very well in two important stepping stones to the presidency.
  
  The first was as Daniel arap Moi’s vice president (1978 to 1988). It is important to note that Moi had greatly preferred Jeremiah Nyagah and was determined to appoint him as his Vice president on taking over power in August 1978 from Jomo Kenyatta. But Charles Njonjo, then the AG and whom we have seen held Moi’s hand through his first uneasy steps as president, advised him to appoint Kibaki instead. And Njonjo knew the right arguments to use to convince Moi. He knew that Moi was terrified of the Kikuyu as a political threat and Njonjo told him, Kibaki would be the perfect “window dressing” for Kikuyus to feel that nothing had changed much for them even after the death of Jomo.
  
  Kibaki settled into the Vice presidency and literally “disappeared.” Which meant that there was absolutely no possibility of him ever overshadowing Moi? In those early years Kibaki concentrated on his Finance docket and visitors to Kenya would have found it hard to guess that he was actually also the Vice president.
  
  The second time his hatred of bare-knuckle politics helped him out was as leader of the official opposition in 1998. Kibaki became leader of the opposition by virtue of his DP (Democratic Party of Kenya) political party being the opposition party with most seats in parliament. Most DP legislators hailed from the Kikuyu tribe who are usually loud and controversial in their politics by nature. Kibaki’s quite, sober character that avoided petty politics at all costs gave the party a much better image than it deserved and raised Kibaki’s profile immensely as a voice of reason in the usually radical opposition. This served him considerably well and later helped Kenyans across the political divide quickly warm to him as the opposition candidate in 2002. This was in itself amazing because before Kibaki took the helm the country had been served by only two presidents and one of them had been Kikuyu. And therefore it stood to reason that the third president should NOT be a Kikuyu. More blunt Kenyans would have told you that they had already had their turn to eat. This is one of the reasons why Moi was so sure of himself in selecting Uhuru Kenyatta as the Kanu candidate because he was certain that the opposition candidate would not be a Kikuyu and he would therefore have a huge advantage and an easy win in fronting Uhuru for the presidency. No serious presidential candidate in Kenya can ever afford to ignore the sheer numbers of the Kikuyu community.
  
  But in retrospect Kenyans now know that they elected a man that they hardly knew to be their third president. And yet many mistakenly felt that they knew him well enough because he had been in politics for so long. Nobody wanted to remember that he was the longest serving non-politician in Kenyan politics and that the country would pay a very high price mainly because of this fact.
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• The drama at the Yes and No rallies yesterday

  Posted: May 16, 2010, 5:53 am by kumekucha

  Why is Kumekucha a new fan of Caroline Mutoko?
  
  They say that in politics anything is possible. And this was proved yesterday when the likes of William Ruto enthusiastically shared the very same platform with church folks like the respected Pastor Mark Kariuki of Redeemed Gospel church Nakuru.
  
  Even the extremely unlikely alliance in the UK after the recent general elections, between the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats does not compare. By the way for those unfamiliar with UK politics, this would be like Daniel arap Moi returning to politics and forming an alliance with Martha Karua’s Narc Kenya. Or Moi forming a government with the likes of Mwalimu Mati.
  Meanwhile at Uhuru park an equally unlikely alliance of PNU hardliners mixed freely with ODM diehards selling exactly the same message. Admittedly the gathering at Uhuru park evoked poignant memories of the epic National Rainbow coalition (Narc) rally at the same venue in 2002 where Raila Odinga uttered the two words that decided the presidency; “Kibaki Tosha.” So in a way it was not so strange. At least not as strange as the gathering at Mulu Mutisya grounds in Machakos.
  
  In my view the church would have done a lot better campaigning on its’ own rather than having respected church leaders freely brushing shoulders with some of the characters that have caused our beloved Kenya just too much grief in the past. William Ruto and Cyrus Jirongo’s Youth for Kanu 92 (YK92) was responsible for dishing out tons of Kshs 500 notes unleashing unprecedented inflationary pressures which will still affect your great grand children 100 years from now. I think the church has completely lost it this time. For instance in Machakos yesterday a few speakers told blatant lies about the new constitution and the respected church leaders did not stand up to correct the lies or tell their flock the truth. One speaker (A Kamba politician) told the Akamba people that if they voted YES to the constitution all the numerous Kamba people living at the Coast and elsewhere would have to pack their bags and come back home to Machakos.
  
  Church leaders are also putting themselves in a very tricky position bearing in mind the dodgy sources of financing being used in the NO campaign. I am reliably informed that the money proper is yet to come. Hii ni kionjo tuu, mambo bado. Kenyans (including those who are going to vote NO on principal) need to understand a couple of things about those leading the No campaign. They need to be informed even as they vote NO. Without boring you with too much detail, you need to ask yourself when is the last time that Cyrus Jirongo teamed up with William Ruto and what the results were for the Kenyan people. It was in 1992 and I have already told you what happened (and continues to happen). I have a feeling that our fragile economy which is just starting to recover from the post election troubles is going to be hit very hard in the next two months or so as money is literally poured to deny Kenyans the best chance they have had to make good since independence in 1963. Although all the money in the world will not dent the resolve of the Kenyan people, it will certainly affect the economy.
  
  Incidentally something else that I found very interesting happened at Uhuru Park yesterday. The crowd got bored with Vice President Kalonzo Musyoka’s speech and urged him to finish pronto and take his seat. It is easy to start making accusations and suggestions that somebody organized this or somebody’s supporters wanted to embarrass the VP. But the truth is that the Kenyan public on the ground are a lot wiser than they used to be. Don’t forget that we have been fooled too many times and have these days gotten a lot wiser with the hypocrisy that has been the trade mark of Kenyan politicians. Remember the words of that young Rookie who became president in 1960 called J.F. Kennedy. He said you can fool some people all the time and you can fool others most of the time but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
  
  It is clear that the general mood on the ground is that Kalonzo Musyoka is NOT really settled and comfortable in the YES camp. Indeed William Ruto started his speech in Machakos yesterday by telling the people that he was bringing them greetings from “wiper”. Wiper was the slogan Kalonzo Musyoka used in his presidential campaign of 2007. Ruto then added that there were many in the YES camp who were really in the NO camp. Wow!!!
  
  This brings me to yet another interesting development I have recently noted. My antennae is still very much on the ground and unbelievingly the so-called second draft has had the unexpected reaction of causing a number of “NO” voters to switch camp to the YES side. It is as if they were waiting for a signal that the rich and powerful are truly against the draft constitution to hurl all their doubts out of the window and shift camps to the YES side. In a way this is should not be surprising because the level of poverty in the country is such that there are way too many Kenyans who always wait to see where the sentiments of the rich and powerful really lie for them to take the opposite position. As I have said many times here, if this situation is not checked, the next trouble we will have in Kenya will be the poor looting the homes of the rich.
  
  By the way I still don’t buy Phil’s explanation in his post in this blog alleging that Daniel arap Moi and those in the No camp like William Ruto were responsible for the alterations in some copies of the draft constitution. He finishes his long-winded claim by saying that the culprits cannot be arrested at this time for political reasons. Sorry but I don’t buy that. I believe I am fairly familiar with the operations of the NSIS and have been familiar with those of its’ predecessor the Special branch for many years. I don’t believe that Moi or anybody else other than the president is capable of giving the NSIS orders. And if they are, then we have an even more serious crisis in our hands because my next question would be who is running Kenya? Do we have a defacto president operating from behind the shadows? Quite unlikely. I still stick to my story that the alterations were ordered from the highest authority in the land. As to the motives, only time will tell but if you have read my landmark book Dark secrets of the presidency, you will know of many other bizarre actions ordered by past presidents of the republic of Kenya and executed by the intelligence community that have impacted Kenyans tremendously. So it is nothing really new.
  
  I will end this post by paying glowing tribute to Kiss FM’s Caroline Mutoko. I have not been listening to this radio station for years, but these days I am an avid listener of Mutoko’s breakfast show where she has been regularly digesting the draft constitution for Kenyans. And she does it in an ingenious way. By comparing the current constitution to the draft. For example a recent show compared the current constitution where all executive powers are vested in the presidency with the draft where executive powers are with the people to be exercised by the president (with limitations and checks by parliament).
  
  The point we must all bear in mind is that if you vote NO in the referendum on August 4th you will be saying that the current constitution is better than the draft. Mutoko’s show is clearly giving plenty of evidence that that is not the case. Whatever you do don’t forget that.
  
  In a way I wish we could record the names of all those who will vote NO so that our great grandchildren can be shown one day many years from now those who hindered change. I believe that 200 years from now people will have access to this blog and its’ posts and it will be recorded that Kumekucha and Caroline Mutoko amongst many others not only voted YES but campaigned vigorously for the YES camp and for change in our beloved motherland.
  
  P.S. I have been looking everywhere for a statement from the VP distancing himself from Ruto's remarks in Machakos yesterday that implied he was secretly in the NO camp. By the time I posted this I had yet to find one. Take careful note my brothers and sisters and don't be fooled by what you hear politicians say. Not even Kibaki or Raila. Politics is the art of lying convincingly in broad daylight.Kumekucha

  
  

• The drama at the Yes and No rallies yesterday

  Posted: May 16, 2010, 5:53 am by kumekucha

  Why is Kumekucha a new fan of Caroline Mutoko?
  
  They say that in politics anything is possible. And this was proved yesterday when the likes of William Ruto enthusiastically shared the very same platform with church folks like the respected Pastor Mark Kariuki of Redeemed Gospel church Nakuru.
  
  Even the extremely unlikely alliance in the UK after the recent general elections, between the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats does not compare. By the way for those unfamiliar with UK politics, this would be like Daniel arap Moi returning to politics and forming an alliance with Martha Karua’s Narc Kenya. Or Moi forming a government with the likes of Mwalimu Mati.
  Meanwhile at Uhuru park an equally unlikely alliance of PNU hardliners mixed freely with ODM diehards selling exactly the same message. Admittedly the gathering at Uhuru park evoked poignant memories of the epic National Rainbow coalition (Narc) rally at the same venue in 1992 where Raila Odinga uttered the two words that decided the presidency; “Kibaki Tosha.” So in a way it was not so strange. At least not as strange as the gathering at Mulu Mutisya grounds in Machakos.
  
  In my view the church would have done a lot better campaigning on its’ own rather than having respected church leaders freely brushing shoulders with some of the characters that have caused our beloved Kenya just too much grief in the past. William Ruto and Cyrus Jirongo’s Youth for Kanu 92 (YK92) was responsible for dishing out tons of Kshs 500 notes unleashing unprecedented inflationary pressures which will still affect your great grand children 100 years from now. I think the church has completely lost it this time. For instance in Machakos yesterday a few speakers told blatant lies about the new constitution and the respected church leaders did not stand up to correct the lies or tell their flock the truth. One speaker (A Kamba politician) told the Akamba people that if they voted YES to the constitution all the numerous Kamba people living at the Coast and elsewhere would have to pack their bags and come back home to Machakos.
  
  Church leaders are also putting themselves in a very tricky position bearing in mind the dodgy sources of financing being used in the NO campaign. I am reliably informed that the money proper is yet to come. Hii ni kionjo tuu, mambo bado. Kenyans (including those who are going to vote NO on principal) need to understand a couple of things about those leading the No campaign. They need to be informed even as they vote NO. Without boring you with too much detail, you need to ask yourself when is the last time that Cyrus Jirongo teamed up with William Ruto and what the results were for the Kenyan people. It was in 1992 and I have already told you what happened (and continues to happen). I have a feeling that our fragile economy which is just starting to recover from the post election troubles is going to be hit very hard in the next two months or so as money is literally poured to deny Kenyans the best chance they have had to make good since independence in 1963. Although all the money in the world will not dent the resolve of the Kenyan people, it will certainly affect the economy.
  
  Incidentally something else that I found very interesting happened at Uhuru Park yesterday. The crowd got bored with Vice President Kalonzo Musyoka’s speech and urged him to finish pronto and take his seat. It is easy to start making accusations and suggestions that somebody organized this or somebody’s supporters wanted to embarrass the VP. But the truth is that the Kenyan public on the ground are a lot wiser than they used to be. Don’t forget that we have been fooled too many times and have these days gotten a lot wiser with the hypocrisy that has been the trade mark of Kenyan politicians. Remember the words of that young Rookie who became president in 1960 called J.F. Kennedy. He said you can fool some people all the time and you can fool others most of the time but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
  
  It is clear that the general mood on the ground is that Kalonzo Musyoka is NOT really settled and comfortable in the YES camp. Indeed William Ruto started his speech in Machakos yesterday by telling the people that he was bringing them greetings from “wiper”. Wiper was the slogan Kalonzo Musyoka used in his presidential campaign of 2007. Ruto then added that there were many in the YES camp who were really in the NO camp. Wow!!!
  
  This brings me to yet another interesting development I have recently noted. My antennae is still very much on the ground and unbelievingly the so-called second draft has had the unexpected reaction of causing a number of “NO” voters to switch camp to the YES side. It is as if they were waiting for a signal that the rich and powerful are truly against the draft constitution to hurl all their doubts out of the window and shift camps to the YES side. In a way this is should not be surprising because the level of poverty in the country is such that there are way too many Kenyans who always wait to see where the sentiments of the rich and powerful really lie for them to take the opposite position. As I have said many times here, if this situation is not checked, the next trouble we will have in Kenya will be the poor looting the homes of the rich.
  
  By the way I still don’t buy Phil’s explanation in his post in this blog alleging that Daniel arap Moi and those in the No camp like William Ruto were responsible for the alterations in some copies of the draft constitution. He finishes his long-winded claim by saying that the culprits cannot be arrested at this time for political reasons. Sorry but I don’t buy that. I believe I am fairly familiar with the operations of the NSIS and have been familiar with those of its’ predecessor the Special branch for many years. I don’t believe that Moi or anybody else other than the president is capable of giving the NSIS orders. And if they are, then we have an even more serious crisis in our hands because my next question would be who is running Kenya? Do we have a defacto president operating from behind the shadows? Quite unlikely. I still stick to my story that the alterations were ordered from the highest authority in the land. As to the motives, only time will tell but if you have read my landmark book Dark secrets of the presidency, you will know of many other bizarre actions ordered by past presidents of the republic of Kenya and executed by the intelligence community that have impacted Kenyans tremendously. So it is nothing really new.
  
  I will end this post by paying glowing tribute to Kiss FM’s Caroline Mutoko. I have not been listening to this radio station for years, but these days I am an avid listener of Mutoko’s breakfast show where she has been regularly digesting the draft constitution for Kenyans. And she does it in an ingenious way. By comparing the current constitution to the draft. For example a recent show compared the current constitution where all executive powers are vested in the presidency with the draft where executive powers are with the people to be exercised by the president (with limitations and checks by parliament).
  
  The point we must all bear in mind is that if you vote NO in the referendum on August 4th you will be saying that the current constitution is better than the draft. Mutoko’s show is clearly giving plenty of evidence that that is not the case. Whatever you do don’t forget that.
  
  In a way I wish we could record the names of all those who will vote NO so that our great grandchildren can be shown one day many years from now those who hindered change. I believe that 200 years from now people will have access to this blog and its’ posts and it will be recorded that Kumekucha and Caroline Mutoko amongst many others not only voted YES but campaigned vigorously for the YES camp and for change in our beloved motherland.
  
  P.S. I have been looking everywhere for a statement from the VP distancing himself from Ruto's remarks in Machakos yesterday that implied he was secretly in the NO camp. By the time I posted this I had yet to find one. Take careful note my brothers and sisters and don't be fooled by what you hear politicians say. Not even Kibaki or Raila. Politics is the art of lying convincingly in broad daylight.Kumekucha

  
  

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Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes