Items by kahawaMoto

make mine a double espresso...

  • re(hoe)bilitation

    Posted: May 24, 2010, 8:49 pm by kahawamoto
    you can't turn a hoe into a house wife. - Ludacris
    i saw the word 'rehoebilitation' on twitter. i think it was DeRay Davis. you know how comedians are always talking smack on twitter. But there we have it. The sources have been cited. Don't sue.

    That transformation, when a woman realizes her worth and stops doing it with random men, is it possible?
    There were jokes about it, like it'll take about five years for a bad reputation to wear off, some people think it's not truly possible unless there's some form of religious intervention, or first there has to be some kind of mental breakdown...

    your thoughts on the topic?
    and is it possible for one to really be able to wipe their slate clean?

    i wrote a piece that kind of relates.
    Enjoy.


    INTERNAL PROTEST
    as she lays on the metaphorical bed she made,
    she can’t help but feel like she could have spread.
    It.
    Better.
    now she lays everyday,
    wishing she could roll over and die
    on the brink of depression, she cries.

    she feels her sprit breaking within her,
    drenched.
    Drowning.
    in her own tears…
    this past couple of years, have been a blur
    drunken slurs
    battle scars
    frequenting bars
    fast cars

    she feels her spirit breaking within her
    the countless yeses instead of no’s
    retarded actions, she didn’t know better
    her past self shouldn’t have let her take another sip
    on some chug, chug, chug tip
    for a temporary high
    and a bitch of a hangover
    to her going undercover…

    she feels her spirit breaking within her
    the pieces pierce and scrape her insides
    burnt,
    bruised,
    broked,
    beaten,
    battered
    she muffles her wails to listen to her soul
    she is hurting too
    her vessel,
    her home,
    defiled,
    defaced,
    discarded
    and now,
    widely being discussed…

    by all the men who call her whore
    the ones who held her tight and spent the night
    the ones who grabbed her hips and kissed her lips
    the ones who never called and never stalled…
    to leave in the morning
    her soul is in mourning


    she feels her spirit breaking within her
    silent cries, internal protests…
    they don’t really know me
    what I’m about, who I want to be…

  • tragic love

    Posted: May 7, 2010, 2:12 am by kahawamoto
    I've been thinking about love a lot lately. Or whatever passes as love these days. A friend of mine calls it 'sex blindness'. Hahaha. Kinda makes sense though. Sex makes people go blind and stupid.
    It got me wondering, what ever happened to tragic love? That intense, chest ripping love. The love that made men go to war to protect their women, the kind of love that dude in the bible felt, the one who worked for years so that he could get the girl. Her name was what? Rachel? Ruth? I forget... And how he said that it didn't feel like it was that long, because the love was so strong. That Romeo and Julliet kind of love, the whole stabbing and poisoning, not that i advocate suicide, but you get my point.

    Will we get to experience that in our generation? Or have things been toned down a little. is it because the obstacles we face now seem minor? An annoying in law, an empty wallet, a suggestive tweet, an incriminating picture on facebook, a drunk dial...
    All that seems to be going on now is relationships with aspects of unfaithfulness, fuck buddies, failing marriages, one night stands and pointless flings. Not that i'm condemning, or judging, but where is that real love?

    'Make you feel my love' by Adele is playing. My iTunes is mocking me. the song's about how there's nothing that she wouldn't do to make him feel her love. she get's it. THAT kind of love. Where is it? Look for the song!

    ION (In Other News) for you anit-abbrev. peoples, i wrote this piece last night, actually it was early this morning after chatting with a girl of mine about boys and things. She said something in passing that made me realize something. Thanks Shaz!


    there is no such thing as perfection,
    but your imperfections are perfect
    your dark skin and small oracle eyes
    the way you said you loved my thighs
    the man from whose rib i was formed
    you are my brother soul
    to be without you, an equation that would solve itself in death
    for there is no me without you, you are my breath
    i lay on you, chest against chest
    i know i love you, no uncertainty, no doubt
    i know i love you, no uncertainty, no douby

    i put my ear on your chest and hear your heart beat . . . . . . .
    i realize i am truly blessed, and i am truly grateful
    grateful for the heart,
    that pumps blood to the veins,
    that goes through the flesh,
    that houses the spirit,
    that I love.

    you have me in total surrender
    my white panties waving high in the air
    i want to go away with you, and drown in your essence
    to disappear in the gap, between your arms and chest
    i am yours, future baby daddy
    yours to love, if you will have me.

    you fill me with your love, grounding me. But i am floating on air simultaneously...
    i would write a letter to my past self
    tell her not to change a thing
    that she would find a man sooner than later,
    that you would come along and change her forever

    this is how i feel now, when i think of you
    when my mind drifts to the past, that was just me and you
    and wonders how you and me would be, if we were 'we' today
    whether i would love you, in the same intense way
    sadly, i know not who you are, what you're about, or the man you've become
    in my memories, you are still perfection
    but now i'm grown, i know better,
    what remains now, a diminishing addiction.


    Peace and Love my good people.
    Have a lovely weekend.

  • for my single ladies!

    Posted: April 29, 2010, 6:46 am by kahawamoto
    loneliness
    independence
    solitude

    There is a thin line between the three. i won't refer to the dictionary for this post. Off the top of my head;

    Loneliness - i wish there was another body in my bed/someone to watch this movie with
    Independence - no thanks dude, i'll get a cab
    Solitude - lemmi put a nice play list and clean the house/ painting your nails while smiling to yourself...

    Again, just off the top of my head. Ya'll can refer to Oxford or Webster. That's the name of the other dictionary right? Webster?

    Aaanywho, sad part is, so many women (and men) i'm trying to be gender friendly but me thinks it's very unlikely for men, go through so much shit to avoid loneliness, would rather be with some dodgey character and unhappy, than be by themselves. The fear of loneliness. It's sad, but i'm not judging.

    "I may be alone, but never lonely" i think it was one Miss India Arie who coined that phrase, love her music by the way, i'm actually following her on twitter. But before i digress further, THAT IS A LOAD OF BULL. Loneliness always manages to stick it's foot in the door from time to time. Especially for the ladies, in my view, you know because of the estrogen, and we all get the 'I wish there was another body in my bed' feeling. (Especially when it rains. Doesn't help that it's raining right now, and i'm writing this at 3am...) And if we don't get distracted, we start doing stupid things like going through all our exes facebook profiles and sending random unnecessary inboxes in the name of checking up (guilty!) if any of my exes read this, hahaha! Yeah, i was checking on you, whatever nigga! :p

    Ladies, what you need to do is get a distraction. Fast! Quick even. Don't listen to slow music or watch romatic films, don't focus on the void. DO NOT listen to Sade, that woman's music almost finished me! It just makes shit worse. Don't facebook/twitter stalk the ex, like you don't know the reason why ya'll didn't work out in the first place! Don't look at pictures of his current squeeze and convince yourself that you are better looking... You know you is though! (damn you world wide web)

    Watch a comedy, join yet another social networking site, preferably one that aforementioned ex is not on, (you can never join too many social networking sites) -i'm a junkie. Put on some sexy heels and go dancing/for cocktails, don't sulk in the house because other negative stuff will catch up to you, like the extra slice of pizza you had for lunch (guilty!) go out, have fun!

    Better focus on independence and solitude.
    That's my two cents.

  • the 'hoe code' and ex fat chicks

    Posted: April 18, 2010, 10:53 pm by kahawamoto
    First i only used the term 'Hoe' in the title beacuse it rhymes with bro, and also because of the whole 'bros before hoes thing' so it has already been established.
    And i do know that it's spelt W-H-O-R-E i just don't like how that spelling looks in print. So let's go with H-O-E.

    I was asking some of my tweeps (twitter buddies) whether there are any rules regarding a girl dating a guy who one of her friends has slept with. Not dated, just slept with. (chibo). I'm gonna assume we've all seen how I met your mother, how Barney is always going on about the bro code. Is there some kind of code for girls???
    Like in the above situation. Some of the responses i got on twitter were

    "i don't see why not as long as there were no feelings"
    "even if i wanted to, I don't want my pals knowing things that only i'm meant to know"
    "it's never that serious"
    "bff's mess with each other's chipoz on the regular, it makes no sense. But guys divide and plough"

    i think that it could work, a girl dating a friends ex-chibo, if neither of them caught feelings after the chipsing, and if they aren't interested in each other. After all, everyone has a sexual history so it's bound to happen. (6 degrees of separation)

    Ooh, another thing, i'm still on this 'Hoe-Code'. I know guys occasionally use the wing man thing to Mack on girls at the club, to try chibo or whatever but do girls do the same? From the dudes side, if a guy wants to hit some girl, but she's stuck to her less attractive friend, his wingman will try diffuse the situation, and if need be entertain, chill with her, while his boy tries to get laid. Totally understandable. i admire that kind of loyalty. :)
    Would girls do the same in that situation? Be a wingwoman/wing girl (???) -the term doesn't even sound right.

    Is a girl, expected to chill with a guy she's not feeling, just because her friend is trying to chibo his boy? Discuss. (20 marks) lol.

    Seriously though. I was in such a situation this weekend and ugh... That whole awkwardness could have been avoided if she had told me the plan before. It worked out to her advantage though. I don't mind helping a friend get hers but gosh...


    This is just a thought in passing;
    Why is it that it takes so long for esteems of ex fat chicks to catch up??? Okay, i don't mean to generalise because, putting some thought into it, i know some ex fat chicks who had shitty esteem, dropped the weight, became pretty confident and are now borderline bitchy, which btw is fine. If you wanna be a bitch, by all means, do you boo boo.
    But the ones who still do stupid things like sleep with guys who are waaay below standards, come on ladies. There's never a need!


    Peace and Love.

  • 10 reasons why she won't answer/return your calls...

    Posted: April 14, 2010, 7:36 pm by kahawamoto


    This post was inspired by a Kenyan Trending Topic (TT) on Twitter which my friend started. The name of the TT was “I hate how Kenyan guys…” or something like that.
    Then yesterday, I stumbled upon a blog, and the latest post on it was “10 reasons why he won’t call you back”.
    Now that props have been given to the things that inspired me, here are, in no particular order, some of the reasons why she won’t call you back. Specially done for my Kenyan ladies.

    PLEASE CALL ME. THANKYOU .Your idea of a first phone call is a Please Call Me. – FAIL! If you can’t even afford a bamba 20, the future of the endeavour looks bleak. Not that we’re all gold diggers but c’mon…

    WE NI NANI? She can’t remember who you are. This one happens more often that you think. You chill till the girl is crazy wasted at the club then you go pestering her for her number, which you get coz she’z clearly too drunk to lie. The next morning, the conversation goes like
    Him: hello, sema…
    Her: ummm, who’s this
    Him: it’s Davo, from last night…
    Her: okaaaay… who gave you this number?
    What follows is awkwardness. But more likely than not, she won’t ever pick/ return your calls again.

    PLAYA. You asked for her, her cousins, her friend’s and some other random chick’s number. Not that keeping your options open is a bad thing, just be slick about it. Jheeze! -but there are some chick who’ll want to fight for the guy’s attention. (we’ll discuss esteem and daddy issues another day).

    STALKER. You call her 5 times in the first 24 hours after receiving her number. Can you spell stalker? Y.O.U! your number will be deleted so quickly plus you’ll be black balled to all her friends.

    SHIT TO DO. It’s self explanatory, but for the sake of. I’ll explain. She’s got shit to do.

    “SHORTCOMINGS” she let you get it once and it was a disappointment. Not so much the technique, that can always be worked on. It was more an issue of the size of the package. I know, it’s a low blow, but it’s a valid reason. No sex is better than bad sex.

    XOXO, GOSSIP GIRL. There’s someone saying very unflattering thing s about you and it got to her. You know women and gossip. Not to generalize but come on…

    HER BOYFRIEND... dude. she has a dude.

    KENCHIC you've been dating a month and all you've done is go to kenchic and the local. no offense to kenchic and the locals. there's nothing like a quarter chicken and chips at 6am after a hectic hanye, but c'mon... not ati she's a gold digger. we just wanna be treated nice...

    ON TO THE NEXT ONE. nuff said!

    feel free to add on to the list. even guys. we're not trying to hate on ya'll. :)

  • conflicted...

    Posted: April 13, 2010, 6:02 pm by kahawamoto
    i was still deciding whether or not to leave this blog or to just shut it down completely. i laready saved it to my hard drive but i really like the idea of having a place to vent. and overshare :) so i think i'll keep it up for now. i might change my mind tomorrow but for now it's on!

    i deleted some of the posts that i thought were too TMI considering it's no longer anonymous. but yeah.
    it's been a while since i've posted and my fingers are itching! i don't want to ramble thought so lemmi collect my thoughts and think of an ppropirate topic and get back to ya'll.

    peace and love!

  • missed me?

    Posted: March 8, 2010, 1:02 am by kahawaMoto
    My good people from the land of blogospheria, i have missed you so. You have been in my thoughts, okay, some times.
    I have to apologize for the hiatus i didn't even know i was taking. It turns out i was actually approaching rock bottom, or the blinding light that is having an epiphany at warp speed.
    Saturday morning, 2am, a sober me was in my flat with my drunk friend and somewhere it the middle of her drunken slurs... RockBottom!/Epiphany, i'm putting both to accomodate the pessimists and the optimists :) yeah.
    Things are gonna change people. The time has come. I can't get into specifics just yet... (stay tuned to find out!) :) but yeah, KM is back. This next month is gonna be an amazing journey. TMI, laughter, tears, diets, prayers, frustrated punctuation, regret' achievement, all of it!

    The key point of this presentation... (hehehehe... Got that from family guy. You know the guy who's whole body is made of wood?) key point, it's here, it's black and it's hot! Kahawa Moto is back :)

    Peace and love!

  • missed me?

    Posted: March 8, 2010, 12:53 am by kahawaMoto
    missed me?

  • my idiot boyfriend and his retarded friends

    Posted: February 8, 2010, 7:32 pm by kahawaMoto
    He had been quiet for a whole day (that's a lot) considering we talk... Whenever we can get on facebook. i got worried, he wasn't replying my texts, then today i see a message from him. He got drunk and fell fron God know's where... And fractured BOTH his ankles. Both of them. The fuck???
    He's friends were there but were all to drunk to stop the shit from happening. I am sooo mad. It could have been so much worse! What if... Shit. I wish i was home, atleast if i was there i would have stopped it. His ass wouldn't be that drunk to begin with.
    stupid fucks.

    The sun was definately doing crack today.

    Statement of the week: I'M NOT A WHORE, I JUST REALLY LIKE TO DO IT.

  • So far...

    Posted: January 31, 2010, 4:25 pm by kahawaMoto
    I've been meaning to write this post for ages.
    First, i'm going through an early adulthood life crisis. I think. I don't know, i forget the early adulthood development module. SP107 i think. First Year stuff. Anywho, seriously considering putting down the bottle. Atleast/for a month or two. I think sober is a better look for me :) we'll see how that goes.

    Me and dude from the last post. We're ummm going out/ dating??? I don't know what people call it these days, but yeah. I'm still tryna wrap my head around it. It's cool. He makes me laugh, we've been really good friends for the longest time. Plus he thinks i'm awesome *score* ! :)

    The new arrivals (freshmen) are particularly appaling this year. They're more than last year's batch. Atleast walking around campus will be a pleasant activity :) *giggle* young, cute, eager things! I love being in third year!!! Classes start tomorrow.

    My new flat. IS A COMPLETE MESS RIGHT NOW, but it's perfect, location, i don't know my neighbours so there's no obligation... The Landlord stays on the property so it's pretty safe too. Hopefully no disappearing laptops this year.

    Yesterday, i was kinda having a shit day. ALCOHOL IS A DEPRESSANT and just thought about stuff. I try to just chill without head phones and listen to my thoughts. I wrote a letter to my 25 year old self. I also wrote one to my 16 year old self and i wish i could go back and give that to me. Things would be so different. That's why i wrote one to the future me as well...

    I'm currently reading this book called 'hot and heavy, finding your soul through food and sex' by a Judy Hollis. I haven't got far but it's a pretty good read.

    Hope you've all had a productive first month of the year.
    Peace and Love.

  • stupid sex game + lunch in burundi

    Posted: January 12, 2010, 11:56 am by kahawaMoto
    i went out with the girls and boys on friday night. got back home on sunday afternoon. my inner thighs are still hurting. the soreness is almost completely gone though.
    yup. i got me some good good.
    this celibacy thing is hard. decided to un-celibate for a weekend. don't worry, it wasn't some random dude, and it was AMAZING!!! so amazing. so FUCKING amazing!!!
    i didn't think it was possible to... i can't diverge any more details without this coming of as some erotica website. but hot damn! it was just so... he knew everywhere to... it's like he had a manual. and a couple of red bulls.

    i'm good for another month or two.

    yesterday i went for lunch in Burundi. yes, Burundi the country, and i was back home by 4pm. that was pretty cool. they talk funny. the Burundians i mean. but don't all countries???
    oh, the pics, that's the international airport in Bujumbura, Burundi. it's pretty tiny, and needs a coat of paint or two, but i think it's got character.

    have a lovely rest of the week peoples!

    blogger was taking really long to upload the pics so i'll do that some other time.

    peace and love!

  • random happy thoughts post!!!

    Posted: January 8, 2010, 11:05 am by kahawaMoto



    life is good!
    life is great!
    life is unbelievable!

    that's off some old rock track right? rock is not really my strong point. :)

    i was woken up at 8 this morning, after finally falling asleep two hours before that to iron my mom's dress and pour her a glass of juice. why couldn't i fall asleep before 6am, i was spooked out by this movie paranormal activity that me and the people watched the day before yesterday.

    i have less that two weeks before i'm back in port elizabeth. can't wait to start and finish m final year!
    tonight, is girls night out! heels, dresses, make up, the works. fun times ahead!!!

    i am in an awesome mood! figured i'd spread the new year cheer!

    ps, the pic would be drunken me and cousin at a bar in Uganda. that's where we spent our xmas. fun times!

  • 2010

    Posted: January 3, 2010, 12:40 am by kahawaMoto


    i remember just wanting to fast forward to a new year a couple of months ago. either that or starting the year over. getting the a second chance at first impressions. not getting drunk that one time, or talking shit that other time... or... giving that one dude from that one party more incentive to ask for my number, or switching offmy phone of instead of sending that drunk text, or not having that last drink that lead to that one night stand.

    i'm not going to whine and moan about the year that was. i know i pissed some people off. myself included. i've made my apologies and it's time to move on. with school, with my non-existent love life (watch this space though!) i'll make an effort, with new friendships, with REAL friends, with family, with myself, with self love... my hips, my thighs, my lips, my eyes -India Arie.
    i'll still moan about bad hair days from time to time though.

    becoming the person i would want to attract.
    becoming the person i would want to be-friend

    realizing that he is not the only one out there for me.

    lemmi stop beating about the bush. this post was supposed to be about failure to achieve intimacy. it's causes and effects. i just can't remember shit from my classes and all my text books and notes are back in south africa.

    you know how your keys are always in the last place you look? and how some people say, you have to let love find you, or wait for happiness to pursue you?
    i don't know how i can consciously stop thinking about it and let it (him) find me. i can't tell myself to stop thinking about it because that is still thinking about it.
    hopefully i will be buried in school work, school work, my taebo and yoga dvd's, my poetry, hopefully church every sunday, and other artsy gigs, and checking out hip hop lyrics on the internet... (see, i managed to distract myself for a second there) and remove it (love) and him (the one i haven't met, or looked at in that way)from my mind.

    listening to Jill Scott doesn't help.

    a friend of mine just got engaged. i remember giving her relationship advice some years back. funny how things work out. i can't help thinking that maybe i took a wrong turn somewhere... either that or there's something off putting about me, the person i've come to be...?

    i'm rambling now.

    have an awesome year my good people.

    peace and love.

  • THE JACK HAMMER.

    Posted: December 17, 2009, 7:12 pm by kahawaMoto



    i recently took part in the jack bauer/ chuckk norris debate. i want everyone to know what my stand is in this monumental discussion. thanks.
    hehehehe.

    -jack bauer chucked norris
    -kim bauer uses chuck norris as a tampon
    -jack bauer was never addicted to heroine. heroine was addicted to jack bauer
    -as a child, jack bauer never wet his bed. the bed wet itself out of fear
    -jack bauer sleeps with the night light. the dark is afraid of jack bauer!
    -Ordinary people have panic attacks. Chuck Norris has Jack Bauer's attacks!
    -If everyone listened to Jack Bauer, the show would be called 12.
    -Jack Bauer once lost reception on his cell phone. 24 hours later AT&T announced that it would have more bars in more places.
    -There has not been a terrorist attack in the United States since Jack Bauer first appeared on television.
    -Terrorists dread the day in October that Daylight Savings Time ends. Jack Bauer gets 25 hours in which to kill them.
    -Jack Bauer sleeps with a night light because the dark is afraid of Jack Bauer
    -Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
    -Jack Bauer refused a syringe at a blood bank. Instead, he asked for a gun and a bucket
    -Kiefer Sutherland drinks to forget all the terrible things Jack Bauer has done.
    -Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.
    -Jack Bauer doesn't need to search the internet, he just stares a computer down until it gives him the information he needs.
    -Jack Bauer made a brief cameo in the film "Stand By Me" as the local bully. His character got so pissed off when the boys didn't let him take the dead body that seven years later, he killed River Phoenix. Jack Bauer never forgets.
    -jack bauer once shot himself ten times, just to prove that 50 cent is a bitch
    -God had to give Jack Bauer immunity on the sixth commandment "Thou shalt not kill". If he hadn't, Jack would've considered God to be a terrorist and God knows what happens to terrorists.
    -Harry Houdini is the world's second greatest escape artist. The First is Jack Bauer. I never saw Houdini bite a guy's neck in order to escape.
    -Kryptonite is not really from Krypton. It is made from Jack Bauer's crap, that is why it can kill Superman.
    -Jack Bauer doesn't need a translator, torture sounds the same in every language.
    -Don't even ask what Jack Bauer would do for a Klondike bar...
    -Jack Bauer does not run out of ammunition. He simply lets everyone else have their moment to shine.
    -Vin Diesel can be rearranged to say "I end lives." Jack Bauer can be rearranged to say "Jack Bauer," which means the same thing.
    -If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat she would move to the back
    Fuck the kings horses and fuck the kings men. Jack can put Humpty back together again.
    -there is no such thing as a lesbian. just people who have not met jack bauer.
    -If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
    -Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.
    -The war in Iraq will end when Jack Bauer vacations there.
    -Jack Bauer killed a terrorist after torturing him for information. After getting the information, he brought him back to life and tortured him to death again because the terrorist deserved it.
    -Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
    -Jack and Jill went up the hill. Only Jack came down. Jill was a fucking terrorist.
    -9/11 only happened because Jack Bauer was on vacation. He'll never go on vacation again.
    -1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
    -The only reason you're conscious right now is because Jack Bauer doesn't want to carry you.
    -Every person in authority who has ever decided Jack Bauer is wrong and a loose cannon who needs to be arrested is dead. Coincidence? I think not.
    -There were originally five horsemen of the apocalypse. Jack Bauer said he would travel by foot.
    -Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
    -They say you can't go 3 days without water, Jack Bauer has gone five seasons.
    Jack Bauer sleeps with a gun under the pillow. But he could kill you with the pillow.
    -When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack found it and put it back.
    -Don't ask what Jack Bauer would do for a Klondike bar.
    -After running out of ammo, Jack stood in the line of fire, took 3 shots to the chest, and used them to reload.
    -As a boy, Jack Bauer interrogated his parents on Easter until they revealed the location and contents of each hidden egg.
    -When life hands Jack Bauer Lemons, he kills Terrorists. Jack Bauer fuckin' hates lemonade.
    -Jack's friend Chase once said that he loved Kim Bauer. Jack then killed a bunch of terrorists to try and calm down. After running out of terrorists, Jack told Chase he had no other choice and chopped off his arm with a fire axe.
    -The Dinosaurs laughed at Jack ...
    -Nostradamus once predicted in his journal: "In the century 21st, the one known as Jacques will be the savior of the world... five seasons in a row." Moments later, Jack Bauer knocked down the door, shot Nostradamus in the kneecaps, and yelled "WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?!"
    -Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
    -jack bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun

  • tis the season...

    Posted: December 16, 2009, 5:55 pm by kahawaMoto



    christmas is here!!!

    the holiday has been amazing so far. i've got to meet some amazing people. nairobi is... awesome!
    went to watch a play during the weekend. 10 angry women, written by churchill. funny stuffs. after that, went for the kinanda festival where freshly ground performed. i also finally got to hear our local talent. sauti sol, dela, kanji mbugua, aaron rimbui and carol atemi.

    WE WERE RAINED ON!!!

    we stood for hours in the rain. three or four people under one umbrella. the white people went all crazy and started dancing in the rain. in was so exciting. you'd have mistaken it for a wet t-shirt contest. but the performances were amazing. although, my backstage connect was telling me that freshly ground was acting up and didn't want to perform, they did it anyway! they sounded EXACTLY like the album. we stood in the mud and waved our umbrellas in the rain. luckily we haven't been sick this week. *relief*

    I LOVE NAIROBI AND IT'S ARTSY PEOPLE AND AMAZING TALENT AND AWESOME CROWDS!

    happy holidays everyone!

  • cyber foot print/ in other news

    Posted: December 10, 2009, 10:44 am by kahawaMoto
    i was just thinking about the number of social networks i've joined over the years.
    some friends of my friends have passed away recently and people are still living "i miss you's" and messages of condolence on their walls. i have this friend who lost his best friend, and still writes on his page, you know, to update him on what's going on in his life. i guess he didn't have the heart to close down his account.

    most of us aren't musicians with albums or authors with best selling books to be remembered by when we pass. but thanks to technology, we have "cyber footprints" that we will leave behind.
    some of the social networks i've joined over the years are...
    pieces of me i'll leave behind...











    i can't end the post on such a somber note.

    last night i went for open mic at pots and palms, by riverside drive. it was pretty cool.y mom was my date. there were some major glitches though. the stage was next to the bar so we really had to strain to hear the performances, the sound was terrible, and they could have picked a better venue. nevertheless, talent is talent. kenya's got talent!!!

    AnnieSoul (annie oduor) also performed. her music is really... something else. i'm glad more kenyans are drifting away from the kapuka/genge type of music. the market was becoming saturated with that. i actually bought her album at the end of the show. my best tracks so far are 'release me' and 'tabasamu'. look for the album peeps. 'mwanamuziki' by annieSoul.

    peace and love

  • sexy men = brain freeze

    Posted: December 6, 2009, 10:39 pm by kahawaMoto
    i'm watching world's sexiest men on E!. HOTDAMN!!! there are some edible men out there. my mom was trying to get my attention for the past 15 seconds. i had to catch myself to avoid getting drool on my laptop. i'm actually trying to google those pics now.
    i can't believe she just changed the channel to watch the amazing race! that's cruel and unusual punishment!!!
    i love how they had men from every country/ continent. there was even one sexy oriental who is half japanese, half chinese... like some sweet and sour sushi type meal. yummy!

    also, i saw alot of mixed race (half black, half white) kids this weekend. they are so pretty! i'm not racist or anything, i just couldn't help but think... i want me one of those! sijui i put out one of those lonely heart ads out...

    f, 21, nairobi, kenya, looking for white male between the ages of 22-25 for
    super sexy funtimes. enjoys music, poetry, people watching and an occasional
    spanking. also, likes cold oceans. nothing against the coffee/ chocolate
    brothers, i'm just craving some vanilla! 071*******

    just to get a white man to father me a curly haired bronze baby :)
    hahahahahahahaha!

    she just changed the channel back. needless to say Djimon Honsou was number 5. i love me some dark chocolate! i know that contradicts my lonely hearts ad but still! they are now on sexiest man in the world number four. the irish dude, damn, i missed his name. there was i time i wanted to go to Europe and search for a black irish man. yeah, i black, irish. i just wanted the accent, wrapped in chocolate! number 3 is a guy from the Phillipines. Ding Dong Dantez. his name is a s funny as he is sexy! number 2 is some dude called Micheal from Argentina.

    OMG!!! they have lied! me and my mom are crying foul! Beckham* the sexiest man in the world? no way! i mean, he is pleasant to look at. he's always changing his hair and the underwear Ads he did for Armani has got me hoping that human cloning is perfected real soon, but nah, he's not the sexiest man alive.some of the men they've shown from New Zealand, Sweden, Greece, basically all over the world, there's no way Beckham* takes the cup.

    i have genuinely forgotten what i intended this post to be about.

    lemmi get back to ya'll.

    *didi i spell his name right?

  • kenya kipenzi changu

    Posted: November 26, 2009, 6:01 pm by kahawaMoto
    i got home last night at around 7.20 pm. my mom and cuz came to get me from the airport. this was the most eventful flight ever!
    starting with the gin induced coma i got my self into the night before... so much for detox! then i found out three of my friends will be on the same flight. (tenen tenen!)

    the O R TAMBO airport in johanessburg is always undergoing construction so they changed all the boarding gates, check in points and terminals. and that airport is huge! we walked around forever before getting unlost. we settled at newscafe (that would be a bar) for two or three cold ones. we noticed people had already started boarding so we made our way to the gate. turns out the plane was close to leaving without us coz me and my friends were craving a ciggy and we were looking for a place to smoke!!!

    the flight = 5 or 6 shots of vodka.

    we got to kenya okay. my mom took me and my cousin out to dinner at carnivore. i love meat! plus of course you can't be at carni and not have dawa ( double vodka, lemon and honey with ice) loved it!!! had about three of those and a glass of red wine... (it's good for digestion) hehehehehe


    woke uo this morning with a stomach bug from hell!!! (that's me trying not to be vulgar) regardless, i am going out tonight and i will have a super fun thyme!!!

    it's good to be back people!
    there's no place like home!

  • fw: fw: WINE = HEALTH

    Posted: November 18, 2009, 4:52 pm by kahawaMoto
    i love a glass of wine as much as teh next guy but now i can justify my drinking habits.
    a friend just forwarded me this email...

    To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine...
    And those who don't.





    As Ben Franklin said:
    In wine there is wisdom,
    In beer there is freedom,
    In water there is bacteria.

    In a number of carefully controlled trials,
    Scientists have demonstrated that if we drink
    1 liter of water each day,
    At the end of the year we would have absorbed
    More than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria
    Found in feces.
    In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop..
    However,
    We do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer
    (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor)
    Because alcohol has to go through a purification process
    Of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

    Remember:
    Water = Poop,
    Wine = Health.
    Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid,
    Than to drink water and be full of shit.

    There is no need to thank me for this valuable information:
    I'm doing it as a public service!

    true story! you've got to believe them! they're scientists!
    cheers!

  • ME ROVE YOU RONG TIME!!!

    Posted: November 15, 2009, 9:53 pm by kahawaMoto
    Yesterday, (Saturday) South Africa played a friendly soccer match against Japan at the new bay stadium in Port Elizabeth. The stadium's actually one of the few that was built for the world cup so everyone was really stoked to go. One of my friends got us free tickets and everything. He is organizing a concert and actually got 100 tickets to the match for his friends.

    IT WAS SO AWESOME!

    I was writting an exam in the morning, i was sleep deprived because i was up studying the night before and i almost missed the whole thing because after my paper i just got home and passed out.

    We all got really good seats. Right next to where some of the Japanese team were stretching. It was amazing! That was the first live soccer match i had ever attended. The energy in the stadium! It was packed to capacity! Although we had all said we would be supporting Japan, (yeah, we're haters) when the SA anthem played we couldn't help singing the few lines we know! Their anthem is in four languages! All these south africans flooded the place with their colourful vuvuzelaz* some wearing wigs that had the colours on the flag. Many of them were in yellow Bafana Bafana (that's the national team) t-shirts jumping up and down, taking pictures, just showing love.
    Ooh, also, when the Japan team was close, me and my friends were all "HARRO SEXY ASIAN MEN! WE ROVE YOU RONG TIME!!! KONICHIWA!!! BANZAI!!!" we were just shouting any Asian words we could think of. It was hilarious.

    Although i was tired as hell, and the score came out 0 - 0, we had a super phun thyme! Also, we all got free vuvuzelas* ghise things are harder to blow than they look. My lips and cheeks were hurting, but i finally learnt how to blow it AFTER the match. Go figure!!!

    The stadium was built really well, enough rest rooms, they were clean too, the bleachers had actuall seats, they were two big screens on either side to show the replays, there were drinks and refreshment stands... in the stadium building but not by the pitch. They had that artificial grass thing going on. It was really international standards. Made me feel bad about Kenya for a second because Nyayo Stadium and Kasarani came into mind. Hopefully we'll get there.

    I'll upload the pictures as soon as i get to a computer but that was an event to remember. I'm not a soccer fan but the atmosphere and the adrenaline was hectic!!! The six or seven beers helped too!!!

    Me rove you rong time!!!
    Peace.

  • you don't have to be a cow...

    Posted: November 2, 2009, 6:57 pm by kahawaMoto
    2gay Kenyans get married in the UK.
    My mom forwarded me an email with the pictures and her only comment was "Ngai, ni wa kikuyu!" *God, they are kikuyus.
    My mom is the most liberal parent i have ever met. I know she's got nothing against gay people. She's met my gay friends both in Kenya and in SA. Funtimes.

    As long as I'M not gay. (that's always the line right?)

    I've been reading on the net about how it's been all over the news, and the matter wasn't handled well. Everyone was/is talking about it.
    Although, i digress, i heard the blackout that happened yesterday was a temporary distraction.
    I'm straight, i've had my share of girl on girl action, you know, typical college girl stuff. But i'm into men. i've got nothing against gay folk. and i don't mean nothing against like 'they should only do whatever behind closed doors', or 'they should stop airing shows like will and grace or the l-word.' or 'children shouldn't be exposed to that kind of behaviour' that's a load of bull. I'm no expert but i know you can't catch it! It's not a cold! Shit... The only issue i'd have is if they were excessively PDAin (Public Display of Affection) which by the way is my stand for straight couples as well... So yeah. So don't say i don't get it. they can makeout a little, hold hands but even seeing a guy and a girl, guy's tongue down girl's throat, guy's hand down girl's pants or in girl's blouse... Get a room! :)
    Now replace "girl" with "guy" dudes, get a room still! No bif...

    Homophobia is soooo 1990's!

    I was reading this guy's facebook status, he was saying how the government won't accept it! And he said "this is Kenya! They shouldn't even be thinking about such things!"
    That really annoyed me... ignorant mother***

    So anywho, i read this statement somewhere, it was either another blog or some website

    YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A COW TO FIGHT AGAINST ANIMAL CRUELTY.

    So here is a very heterosexual female not understanding why the rest of the population can't accept gay folk. They're not hurting anyone, just being them. I'm a sucker for love. How some gay guys talk about their relationships... it's so sweet, they still get whipped the way straight people do. Love is love. just be thankful to exist in the same space and time as the person you've fallen inlove with. (i think Maya Angelou said that in some movie)

    Then how people were calling it UNNATURAL and UNAFRICAN???

    Un-African? Really? I'm just happy where i study, the gay guys are allowed to be open. The cool cute gay guys actually their own clique at varsity. infact, the last MR.(name of uni) was gay... and i'm in SA so they shouldn't go around calling it UNAFRICAN.

    UN-CHRISTIAN...

    There's other people using religion as an aspect.
    "it's written in the bible"
    "God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve"
    I'm sure the gay guys who are reading this must be rolling their eyes. They must have heard that "Adam and Steve" line a thousand times!
    what i don't get is how the same people calling it un-cristian and reaching for the Holy Water, are the people we party with, who are doing the whole drinking, smoking, casual sex, stealing, lieing and coveting thing. So fine, of you're gonna use religion as a crutch, let's say for a moment that being gay is a "sin" you should get of your high horse coz there's a bunch of other commandments that you are breaking as well...
    Religion is currently not a strong point of mine.

    Then i saw on twitter and also on blogger that the govt. Is gonna spend ksh.40mil to count the gay folk. I still don't know what my take on that is... It's awesome that they are starting to acknowledge that gay people are there instead of sweeping it under the rag like they were some kind of problem... I'd like to know what the gays think about this whole census thing. And will they be willing to come out and be counted, or is the government planning to conduct it annonymously? And are they doing the census with changing the constitution in mind? It's illegal to be gay in Kenya right?
    Lemmi know what you guys think.

    All i know is that i went to this gay party once, and IT WAS AWESOME! finger food and wine glasses and they had decorated it really well. Fun times! Those guys could dance, poppin and droppin and everything. (i'm not trying to stereotype that all gay men can dance, i'm just saying!) I must have been about seventeen at the time. We just had a "gay old time" (pun intended!)

    Peace and love people.

  • copy-paste heavy! FUNNY but TRUE stuff.

    Posted: October 29, 2009, 8:16 pm by kahawaMoto
    -more often than not, when someone is telling a story, all i can think about is that i can't wait for them to finish so that i can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me

    -nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument where you realise that you are wrong.

    -have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you were supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy for randomly switching directions on the sidewalk

    -i totally take back all those times i didn't want to nap when i was younger.

    -do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it woudln't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem? Every kid did that. But how did we know how to fix the problem? there was no internet message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft!

    -there is A GREAT NEED for a sarcasm font.

    -sometimes i'll watch a movie that i watched when i was younger and suddenly realize i had no idea what the hell was going on when i first saw it

    -i would rather carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take two trips to bring my groceries in

    -LOL has gone from meaning "laugh out loud" to "i have nothing else to say"

    -i have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger

    -how many times is it appropriate to say "what?" before you just nod and smile because you didn't hear a word they said?

    -while driving yesterday, i saw a banana peel on the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it... Thanks Mario Kart!

    -bad decisions make good stories

    -whenever i'm facebook stalking someone and i find that their profile is public, i feel like a little kid on christmas morning. 546 pictures? Don't mind if i do!

    -you never know when it'll strike but there is a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day

    -i think the freezer deserves a light as well

    -as a driver, i hate pedestrians, and a pedestrian, i hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, i always hate cyclists!

    -"do not machine wash or tumble dry" means i will never wash this ever!

    -i hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching t.v. There's so much pressure! 'i love this show but will they judge me if i keep it on?' 'i bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this' 'it's only a matter of time before they get up and leave the room..., will we still be friends after this???'

    -i find it hard to believe that there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

  • blog, n. short for weblog

    Posted: October 26, 2009, 9:33 pm by kahawaMoto
    Source: www.urbandictionary.com

    Blog
    Short for weblog.
    A meandering blatantly uninteresting online diary that gives the author the illusion that people are interested in their stupid pathetic life. Consists of such riveting entries such as "homework sucks" and "i slept until noon today".

    Blog
    A place where people bitch about their daily activities which nobody is interested in. Topics like why they argue with their boyfriend and how they end up together at last, daily anorexic activities like drinking blended organic fruits and vegetable for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Talking about cutting themselves with a razor blade and how good it felt, bitch about their shopping activities and what they got. Just another way to seek attention from people.

    Blog
    A recent and disturbing trend on the internet. A blog lets people easily post comments on to a webpage. While blogs have many purposes, some of which can be useful, most people seem to use blogs as a way of having an online diary. These people have such massive egos and are so narcissistic that they believe that other people would be interested in reading their pointless ramblings. Even more disturbing is the fact that many people have such boring lives that they have nothing better to do than to read these stupid online diaries. They just feed the egos of the "bloggers" and encourage them to continueposting nonsense. Hopefully "blogging" will turn out to be just a fad that passes quickly.

    Tim: hey, i just set up a blog on my website
    Joe: what have you written in it?
    Tim: oh, just some random drivel
    Joe: sounds like the typical blog
    Tim: yeah, but plenty of people will read it and make me feel special
    Joe: that's sad
    Tim: i know

    Wow... That kinda put me in my place.
    I know urbandictionary.com is popular for it's cyniciam when it comes to definitions, but ouch!

    I'm not trying to hate on the people who have their own blogs, or even those who read and comment on mine.

    The oversharing about the hangovers and hopeless dillusions about my ex has been fun, but hopefully, i'll be able to switch it up. Write more that just diary material. I've always been into the feature writing thing. It would explain the stacks of magazines in my room and bathroom. (and nah, i don't keep them for the pictures!)
    Maybe about music, psychology, put links on how Jay Z and Beyonce are taking over the world with help from the devil... Stuff like that.


    Ya'll have been good people.
    Mucho love!

  • boobs and booze!

    Posted: October 20, 2009, 7:18 pm by kahawaMoto
    i present, my awesome cleavage! objects may seem closer than they actually appear!



    10 of the 21 shots i had on my bday were tequilas!
    my main man, Jose Cuervo!!!

  • TWO WORDS

    Posted: October 16, 2009, 2:27 pm by kahawaMoto




    i love this song. just checked out the lyrics.
    MOS DEF IS AMAZING.
    yes, i'm into conscious hip hop/ rap...

    "Two Words"
    (feat. Mos Def, Freeway, The Harlem Boys Choir)

    [Kanye West]
    We in the streets playa, getcha mail
    It's only two places you'll end up - either dead or in jail
    Still nowhere to go...still nowhere to go
    Now throw ya hands up bustless, bustas, boostas, hoes
    Everybody, fuck that
    Still nowhere to go...sill nowhere to go..

    [Mos Def]
    Two words, United States, no love, no brakes
    Low brow, high stakes, crack smoke, black folks
    Big Macs, fat folks, ecstasy capsules
    Presidential scandals, everybody MOVE
    Two words, Mos Def, K West, hot shit
    Calm down, get back, ghetto people, got this
    Game ball, lock shit, dump off, cock shit
    We won't stop shit, everybody MOVE
    Two words, BK , NY, bedstuy
    Two hawks, too hungry, too many, that's why
    These streets know game, can't ball, don't play
    Every traffic, one lane, everybody MOVE
    Two words, Mos Def, black check, hot shit
    Calm down, get back, ghetto people, got this
    Game point lock, long pump cocked
    We won't stop, everybody MOVE

    [Chorus: Kanye West (Harlem Boys Choir)]

    [1] - Now throw ya hands up bustless, bustas (Throw your hands up high)
    Boostas, hoes, everybody, fuck that (ohhhhhh)
    Still nowhere to go...still nowhere to go... (ohhhhhh)

    [2] - and keep ya hands up bustless, bustas (Till they reach the sky)
    Boostas, hoes, everybody, fuck that (ohhhhhh)
    Still nowhere to go...still nowhere to go... (ohhhhhh)

    [Kanye West (Harlem Boys Choir)]
    Aiyyo, two words, Chi town, South side, world wide
    Cuz I, rep that, till I, fuckin die
    One neck, two chains, one waist, two gats
    One wall, twenty plaques, dudes say, "Gimme that"
    I am limelight, Blueprint, 5 Mics
    Go getters rhyme like, shoulda been signed twice
    Most imitated, Grammy nominated
    Hotel accommodated, cheerleader, prom dated
    Barbershop, playa hated, mom and pop, bootlegged it
    Felt like it rained till the roof caved in
    Two words, Chi town, raised me, crazy
    So I live by two words, "Fuck you, pay me"
    Screamin, Jesus save me
    You know how the game be
    I can't let em change me
    Cuz on Judgment Day, you gon blame me
    Look God, it's the same me
    I (Throw) basically know now (Your) we could (Up) racially profile (High)
    Cuffed up and hosed down, pimped up and hoe down (ohhhhhh)
    Plus I got a whole city to hold down (ohhhhhh)
    From the bottom to the top
    The only place to go down

    [Chorus 2nd verse]

    [Freeway]
    Two words, Freeway, two letters, A-R
    Turn y'all rap niggaz into two words, fast runners
    Like Jackie Jurner, you better sleep with your burner
    The heat skeet, blow a reef through ya car
    My God, two words, no guns, break arms
    Break necks, break backs, Steven Segul
    Free...young bars, fresh men of the Roc
    Left the beef in the pot Jay sent for his dogs
    and broads, forget ya squad, let em find for yourself
    Have you screamin out four words "Send for the Lord"
    Two words, Freeway's slightly retarded
    Fuck around, throw a clip in ya artist, leave with his broad..

    [Harlem Boys Choir (Mos Def)]
    Throw... (red) Your... (white)
    Hands... (blue) Up... (black)

    Throw... (calm) Your... (down)
    Hands... (move) Up... (back)

    Throw... (motherfuckers) Your... (askin)
    Hands... (who is) Up... (that)

    Throw... (you know) Your... (it's the)
    Hands... (almighty) Up... (Mighty Johnny Jack)

    Throw... (Mos) Your... (Def)
    Hands... (K) Up... (West)

    Throw... (there go) Your... (people)
    Hands... (get this) Up... (shit off ya chest)

    Throw... (north) Your... (to the south)
    Hands... (to the east) Up... (to the west)

    Throw... (we got) Your... (that concert)
    Hands... (it was no) Up... (contest)

    HIGH! (an show it to em like)

  • 21 and a Day!

    Posted: October 15, 2009, 6:21 pm by kahawaMoto

    21 points!!!



    1. i woke up drunk on my birthday.
    2. found a sexy dress to wear at the dinner.
    3. i have awesome cleavage
    4. my mom is even awesomerrr!
    5. he did not tell me he loves me on my birthday
    6. I HAD 21 SHOTS ON MY BIRTHDAY!!! SEVEN OF THEM WERE TEQUILAS.
    7. a gay friend of mine got me a dildo for my birthday
    8. my mom got me lingerie for my birthday
    9. they played really good music at the club yesterday.
    10. i went to the beach on my birthday.
    11. there was sand everywhere! (duh)
    12. i still have a grain of sand in my eye from yesterday!
    13. i still have to go out tonight (the day after my birthday) for cocktails and cake!
    14. that dildo is huge...
    15. i have a hangover from hell
    16. my mom is sitting next to me.
    17. i am using a computer in the comp. lab on campus.
    18. there is sand in between the keys on the keyboard
    19. i can't think of anything else to write
    20. i just got an email saying they would publish my work in the campus magazine!!!!!
    21. so many of you didn't wish me a happy birthday yesterday!!! so not cool man!!!!!!!

  • Friday, October 14th, 1988.

    Posted: October 14, 2009, 2:51 pm by kahawaMoto
    I found myself in bed. I have no idea how i got home. After a series of cocktails and shooters... Me and mama Kahawa Moto just went to the cafe at around ten pm for some cake. (most cafes in SA have liqour)

    I DRUNK SOOOOOO MUCH!!!
    I'M STILL DRUNK!!!

    Later on we're going shopping for my dinner outfit for tonight, and my cocktail outfit for tomorrow.

    My mom bought me lingerie, and a new external hard-drive (my last one got stolen) and perfume, and ear rings, and i'm getting a piercing today, and she came all the way from Kenya to so this with me!!!

    In conclusion, my mom is the coolest!!!

    I'm hoping everyone who reads this blog, wishes me a Happy Birthday.

    Peace and Love!

  • Fuck me!!!

    Posted: October 14, 2009, 7:46 am by kahawaMoto
    My mom came down for my birthrday.
    I dreamt of him last night so i'm at my sub cubscience! I'm angry coz i'll probably love him forever!.

    I hate how it's my 21st birthday, (over three years after we broke up... And all i can think about is him!!!)

  • T minus 2 days!

    Posted: October 12, 2009, 1:31 pm by kahawaMoto
    Your's trully turns 21 on Wednesday. Mother dearest is flying down today for my birthday!

    THE EXCITEMENT!!!

    I'll put up pics once the week is over.

    Also, it's officially three years since me and him broke up. Three years!!!
    i'll try not to mention him for the whole week! this is MY weeK!!!
    Yeah :)

    Have a good one people!!!

  • Aaaaargh!!!

    Posted: October 5, 2009, 10:49 pm by kahawaMoto
    I need an outlet. Going to the beach, the alcohol binging, cigarette (among other things) smoking, yellow paging and constant facebooking won't cut it anymore.

    I don't know what to do with my hormones.

    I recently became a silent partner of the C.F.U, (chips funga union) meaning, no more random, conquests of the sexual nature. -i've always wanted to use that phrase in a sentence!!! So yeah, no random sex means no sex at all given my relationship status. I wish i could put all my hormones in a box somewhere then go get it when someone meaningful shows up.

    And it's not like trying not to think about it makes it any better, coz by trying not to think about it, you still think about it.

    And no, i'm not into sex toys.

    Maybe it's time i look into getting a fuck buddy.... Maybe.

    Shit.

    Lemmi go get a cigarette.

  • I had a 'fat' night.

    Posted: October 2, 2009, 5:14 am by kahawaMoto
    I went out today. For the cocktail special. I didn't have a good time. I had a i feel fat/ sober/ everyone's more goodlooking than me/ bad hair day :(
    sigh...

    Forget about the ex. Although none of you commented. Thanks. (that was sarcasm).
    I thougt the distance was an issue so i asked him if i was studying at home, whether he would leave his girlfriend for me. He obviously said no. So i dropped the topic.

    I wish i looked like i did when i was seventeen. That was my lowest adult weight... And most (attempted) pick ups at a bar.

    Sigh.

    goodnight people.

  • Slick sexy shiny machine... Ex boyfriend... Contracts with the devil(???)...

    Posted: September 28, 2009, 9:13 pm by kahawaMoto
    I got a new laptop. a week ago yesterday, my mom sent her friend who was coming to P.E to bring it with her. It's a hp compaq, it's super cool. I'm not big on gadgets, but i know a sexy computer when i see one. I'm now trying to rebuild my music collection. I had over 40GB of music, i'm only up to about 5GB now, but i'll do it! I'll get all my stuff back. I'm really happy.
    MY MOM IS AWESOME!!!

    I turn 21 in less than a month. I'm not excited. Stuff i set out to do before then, i haven't accomplished, but i'm young, There's still time right?
    Ok, i lie, i am kinda excited. I plan to have a SUPER PHUN THYME!!!

    In less than a month, it'll also be 3 years sincce me and my ex (the significant one) broke up. We've been talking... Kinda alot. We recenlty staryed being civil to each other so we're trying the 'friends' thing.

    He told me he still loves me.
    I wanna shoot myself in the foot.
    Why?
    I told him i still loved him back.
    He has a girlfriend. They've been together for a while.

    He manages to confuse me everytime!
    Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

    Some time last year i wrote a poem called 'two freakin years' basically about how i couldn't believe it took me TWO YEARS to get over him.
    I haven't told my friends what's going on. Some of them read this blog. I can already see their disapproving faces and pityful glances.

    So yeah. I don't know what to do about that.

    F*ck me sideways!!! I'm so mad at myself.

    My consolation...
    MY NEW LAPTOP IS AWESOME!!!
    Thanks momsie!!!!!

    Ps, there's talk going round about Jay-Z, Kanye, Beyonce, Rihanna, and recently Taylor swift anong others are member's of the illuminati church, that or free masons, i don't know the difference. There's links i've been told to go check out.
    have any of you heard the rumours???

  • my girl NDUTS.

    Posted: September 11, 2009, 2:43 pm by kahawaMoto
    me and this chick have been through so much, she's one of the people i'm unhealthily (is that even a word???) close to.
    she has a thing for butterflies, i have a thing for sunflowers. by thing, i mean, slightly obsessed!

    i saw these pics and got warm, soft, fuzzy, cuddly feelings.
    miss you nduts!!!




  • FW:45 lessons life taught me.

    Posted: September 10, 2009, 8:08 pm by kahawaMoto
    me and some friends were on campus at some ungodly hour last night, actually it was more like this morning and she sent me this email, i thought i'll share it with my good people!
    thanks G! :)

    Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio




    "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:"

    1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
    2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
    3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
    4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
    5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
    6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
    7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
    8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
    9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
    10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
    11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
    12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
    13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
    14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
    15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
    16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
    17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
    18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
    19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
    20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
    21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
    22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
    23. Be eccentric now.. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
    24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
    25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".
    26. Always choose life.
    27. Forgive everyone everything.
    28. What other people think of you is none of your business..
    29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
    30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
    31. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
    32. Believe in miracles.
    33. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
    34. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
    35. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
    36. Your children get only one childhood.
    37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
    38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
    39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
    40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
    41. The best is yet to come.
    42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
    43. Yield.
    44. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

    the highlighted ones are the ones that i most relate to of course! feel free to copy-paste and sambaza!

  • PITY PARTY = OVER!!!!!

    Posted: September 9, 2009, 5:27 pm by kahawaMoto
    I am sooooo done with the negativity! (i don't know how long this dosage of optimism will last, but i'm gonna ride it!)

    First i'm gonna get my ass out of bed and go to school... I've been meaning to go for a whilest! i need to break my sleeping cycle. Falling asleep at 5am and waking up at 1pm isn't to good for my productivity. It sucks!!!
    I have a test friday, and another assignment due so i have to work on those. Not to mention the number of lectures i haven't attended this semester. Thanks Jesus they put our notes on the net. Otherwise...!

    I can't clearly remember how much mis-performing i did at the sexy party (think college kids partying moulin rouge style) last weekend, besides random dude i made out with at the balcony -so not worth mentioning btw. so i'm sure i'll be good going to school.
    FYI, the international community is tiny, so everyone is always in everyone's business.

    Everyone have an awesome remainder of the week! Keep your heads up. No matter what you're going through, someone out there has it worse... Let's be thankful, let's not be so ungreatful all the gaddam time!!!

    So... The lady who cleans the house is directly outside my door, our floors are wooden so it's the full ''boom boom boom!'' and, she's listening to some vernacular radio station. I'd be fine if it was kikuyu or luo, but xhosa just gets annoying at some point. So much for my five minute snooze!

    Love ya'll like a fat kid love cake!
    One.

  • erase and rewind...

    Posted: September 7, 2009, 12:08 am by kahawaMoto
    I went to the beach over the weekend. It was awesome. The water was super cold and so clear, the sun was out, me and my two girlfriends. Fun times. :)

    I went swimming today as well. The campus across the road has a pool and i needed to do some thinking. Something about swimming... my brain is too occupied doing the same robotic movements, so i can listen to what is beyond my brain.

    I was reading this book. Self help books are not my thing, i only finished the first chapter. But the high light of that was YOU ARE NOT YOUR MIND. It's an interesting philisophy. There's more to you, than your mind. You know how sometime's you think ''i'm so mad at myself'' yeah, you're mind can be mad at you. Something like that.

    Back to the pool, i was swimming, trying to occupy my brain, to listen to my actual 'self'... Alot came to me. First, i wish i could write a letter to my past self. Where i am now and what i would have accomplished by now... Two different things. I know i'm not trying hard enough. I thought it was depression at first, now i'm thinking i'm just straight up lazy.

    My self esteem is an oximoron. I know i'm cool, i'm okay looking, i'd be super hot things if i lost a couple of pounds, but yeah. That's a big issue, i won't go more into it. Sometimes i think i'm awesome. But sub consciously i think i feel like i need validation from men. I've been single for almost three years, sex, on the other hand... I have been with more men/boys than i'm proud of. Mostly one night stands. Ummm... I don't know why i keep,

    Lemmi pause for a second. ya'll might be thinking they're like 37 dudes, the figure isn't that high. So yeah, lower your eyebrows a little.

    So back to that, i don't know why i keep doing some things. Ummm... That i wake up at hit my self in the head over.

    If i could, i would erase and rewind. Re do the last three years of my life again. Instead of being stuck with attempted damage control.

  • My THAT...

    Posted: September 5, 2009, 6:13 am by kahawaMoto
    I dream about you...
    Everytime i touch myself, i think about you...

    Your dark skin, your choleric nature...
    I want you soooo bad...
    From the l-word, i know you have a man, but i know i want you more than he does...
    Feeling on your booty, in the toilet, at that club...
    Fuck... You are so sexxxxy

    I get it if your man hates me. I don't care... I WANT YOU!!!

    YOU ARE THE DEFINITON OF SEX ON FIRE!!!

    You know, coz i told you this before...

    I just wanna hold you, and touch you, and squeeze on hour booty.

    I WAS STRAIGHT BEFORE I MET YOU.

    This ain't a fad or a missioN statement.

    I want you... Now and forever.

    Everything about you is sooooo sexy!

  • dear diary...

    Posted: September 2, 2009, 1:37 am by kahawaMoto
    There's stuff on my mind. I'm doing this from my phone so i'll just write the main points. There's no point to this note. It's just random stuff.

    -i watched 'my sister's keeper' today. i cried like a bitch in the cinema. It's such a saaaad movie.

    -i'm so done sleeping with guys who have girls. I know, i'm the bitch, the homewrecker whatever... They're not many. just more than one. Okay, more than two... Not that i got emotionally attached or whatever, okay, only with one but he was mine to begin with. I just want someone who is mine.

    -me and ad are finally gonna check out the gym on the campus across the street tomorrow!

    -i wrote this list of things i don't like about myself. I walk around with it in my wallet. I think it helps. I'm slowly improving. I think.

    -i can't belive dude and i started talking dirty again! I bury that shit deep and it still finds me!!! Hahahahahahaha... Steamiest conversations i've had in a long time! Fact that he has a girl, kinda bums me out. (ref: point number 2)
    but it's never that serious. Not any more.

    -i now blush everytime i think about her. It's so ridiculous!

    -i can't wait to take my braids out.

    -if i'm still single by the end of this year... I don't even know...

    -school. I'm majoring in something that may have me living out of a cardboard box. But it's my passion. I hope i never want to kick my self in the ass for turning down law school.

  • the way you would ride me.

    Posted: August 31, 2009, 4:27 am by kahawaMoto
    Mr. Man
    Mr. Lover
    Mr. Man who i would marry
    Who's babies i would
    Gladly
    Carry
    Again and again and again and again

    The way you would ride me
    The way i would ride you...
    Moments i think about
    Everytime i'm with another brother
    Who may seem similar
    Whose touch is familiar
    But doesn't quite meet your criteria
    Everytime...
    I think of another

    The way you would ride me
    The way i would ride you...
    Moments i think about
    Everytime i feel another's caress
    Whenever he grabs on my chest
    And tries to squeeze,
    Like you squeezed...
    I need some of that Marvin Gaye,
    That Sexual Healing, i still can't quite get the feeling...

    The way you would ride me
    The way i would ride you...
    Moments i think about
    When he comes over and tries to get freaky
    Feeling on my panties to check if they're sticky
    Putting his ear to my mouth to hear my heavy breathing
    He'd do his best, but it still wasn't the same thing...

    The way you would ride me
    The way i would ride you...
    Moments i think about.

    -by kahawaMoto.

  • gone too sone...

    Posted: August 28, 2009, 11:28 pm by kahawaMoto
    My laptop was stolen today. My laptop and my external hard drive. Over 90 gig of songs, movies, photos, series, stand up, the occasional porn clips, random art, my POETRY, my articles, EVERYTHING!!!

    The fuckers broke the lock on my door, got into my room and took the laptop, and the external. I just went to the shops for about an hour and a half, to use the cyber and buy groceries. I came home and found my door open.

    When i'm angry/ sad/ depressed... I eat. I eat alot. Good thing today i bought mostly fruit and veg. I've eaten 6 apples, 2 pieces of chicken and 2 pork chops. Now i'm on the vodka.

    I can't sleep in my room tonight coz the lock is broken. Anyone can walk into my room at anytime. I can't believe some random was in my space.

    FUCK!!!

    I'd only had it for just over a year. It's gonna be complex claiming the insurance coz i bought it in Kenya and it was stolen in S.A. I just filed the police report. (the cops took almost two hours to come through) i know it won't help. That laptop is gone! But protocol has to be followed.

    Till then, i'm muttering ''fuck me sideways, fuck me sideways, fuck me sideways, fuck me sideways, fuck me sideways...''

  • ...

    Posted: August 26, 2009, 8:16 pm by kahawaMoto
    I went to bed drunk last night. That's the only thing that has been a constant for the past five days.

    /////////////// into drunken slumber i drifted ///////////////

    So i dreamt that some random people from different stages of my life, and I, moved to an antique mansion right next to village market. Random. I know. Some parts of the dream were vague, we were having a party at some point and i think i fainted. (in my dream, i had an out of body experience when i was unconscious) and my friend Izo apparently knew first aid. He revived me etc, etc. After i came to, me and him were making jokes about how it was hard for him to find the spot to do compressions for CPR, coz my boobs were in the way. Just funny stuff.

    In real life, i know Izo from a church i used to frequent in my early high school days, he was a dancer. But he was about 23 at the time. I must have been 15. We were really cool. He's like a brother to me. Taught me a few chords on the guitar, we used to pray together and have bible study... Although i'm off the christianity wagon, we still check on each other once in a while.

    Back to the dream...

    So we went to village market, (remember coz our antique mansion is right next door!)
    And there was this dance thing. And different people were performing. My ex... Who was/is a killer dancer, (i would think lustfull thoughts in church when he used to dance), so my ex was having a performance and his group was a person short, i told him ''dude, Izo is a really good dancer!'' they killed it on the stage, i was soooo proud!!! My man and my big brother, screaming fans, etc etc.

    The rest of the dream was fuzzy. Turns out we got free meals at the mansion, and free maid service, crazy things!!!

    So i woke up sometime this afternoon, and i was like... Dude!!! I have to call (Read: facebook) Izo and tell him about my funny dream! It had been so long since we had caught up... I was still high from last night's booze, trying to go throught my facebook friends looking for Izo.
    Then i remembered a newpaper from last year, (my mom sends me newspapers from home sometimes. Newspapers and magazines). And his picture was in the obituaries. I remembered that he and his fiance had passed away in a car accident.

    I can't believe it totally slipped my mind.

    r.i.p Izo... :(

  • they were made for me to master...

    Posted: August 21, 2009, 12:24 am by kahawaMoto
    It's been a minute since my free lancing days... Since then i've been, well.. Letting my finger's do the walking. I wrote about it on a previous post.
    Those who do it, know that you can't effectively 'handle business' without visual or mental stimulation. I won't dwell so much on the visual stimulation. Porn is porn. We all have preferences, mine's interacial (preferably a black guy, and a really busty girl). I'm quite busty myself, i don't know if that's the connection, but that's my niche.

    On to the mental stimulation, we all have fantasies, we all have thoughts that excite or stimulate or whatever...

    When i'm 'handling business' specific people and situations come to mind.
    In no particular order, these are the people made for me to master... Read: masturbate over ;)

    -chef dude. A guy i dated back in 07. Top 5 best sex experiences. Half black half french or something. He is sooooo sexy!!! And yes, he is a chef.

    -K. Love of my life/my first love, my first everything. We were together for close to 3 years. He knew/ knows my body the most. Sex wasn't just sex with him.

    -HER. The her i've been ranting about. The one who the l-word post is all about. My first (and only) lesbo experience. The one i can't wait to get home and do more stuff to. My THAT. Miss bootyfull. She just turns me on. Period.

    -tall, dark and straight up delicious. Me and HER actually both want to do him. He... Is... So... Fine. I like my man like i like my coffee. Dark and strong. sometimes i thinl of getting sticky with him and HER at the same time.

    -marlon wayans. There's this scene he's in, in his latest movie, G.I.Joe. He's running topless on a treadmill. all sweaty and ripped. Take me now!

    -random buffalo soldier. I was watching this bob marley video, and they were showing this fine dreadlocked men running through the forest, bathing in the river, there was this one dude! Shit.

    -ka mbugua. I talked about him on the post just before this one. I didn't think about him before... But after last weekend... Hehehehe

    -bartender from memphizz. There's this club here in P.E called memphizz. He had this tortured soul eyes. They were greenish something. I just wanted to take him home and love him. And ride him. He's a white guy. But damn.

    i need to go... Drinking games are calling. But i'll get back to this.

    Have a satisfied weekend!!!
    xxx

  • sex on a car, in a house and on my bed. Fucking steamy!

    Posted: August 16, 2009, 9:56 pm by kahawaMoto
    So... This weekend was tri varsity weekend. it's a rugby tournament, three universities take part. This year it was held at Rhodes University, that's in grahams town. All the seniors swear by the legendary-ness of the event.
    I HAD TO GO!!!
    we went by road, about an hour and a half from P.E. Drinking games in the van, it was a sunny day, by the time we got there we were maaaaaaddd tipsay!!!
    I had called my friend, let's call him ka-mbugua. (pun very much intended to the wambui otieno sagga!) he said he's gonna be there.
    So... I've known him for about two years now. He's studied at a nearby town here in SA. We're not extremely close but everytime we get together, we do stuff!!!
    He's two years younger than me... Actually me and his older sister were in the same class in primary school.
    So we drank, we drank, we drank, i can't emphasize on the booze enough.

    So remember, i was on drought. I hadn't gotten some in forever.

    Ummm so he came.

    Fast forward...

    We started making out and whatever...

    We went to this house party in the town. It's a really small town so everything's close together and it gets really crazy during tri varsity. People run around naked, pass out on the road, everything. Think 'varsity students gone wild!!!'

    So me and my friends, ka-mbugua ditched his friends and chilled with me and mine. The horniness just checked in!!! We started kissing outside the house, he pinned me to the wall, his hands were everywhere... Then, we moved to the parking lot/garage. Our clothes were on the floor, we fucked on a car!!! The security lights were going on and off. It was so hectic! I was trying not to scream, and it was funny... Hahahahaha!!! We went back into the house.
    Drinks.
    Drinks.
    Drinks.

    we went to buy food. Then we just walked around the town... Walking, kissing, dancing, just being drunk college kids.
    Then he was like we should find a b&b or a motel. Yo!!! Hormones are hectic! We actually went back to the house where the party was at, found a room, locked the door, clothes on the floor, yeah ka-mbugua is younger than me, but fuuuuccckk, the sex was awesome! Someone started knocking on the door...
    ''fuck, someone's at the door''
    ''shit i'm about to cum!!!''
    ''don't stop... harder''
    KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!
    ''i'm not gonna stop''
    ''fuuuuuuucccckkk! Fuck! I'm cummin!!!''

    Hahahahahaha! Then we got dressed and left.

    Then we went club hopping on foot. When we weren't drinking, we were making out.
    Hahahahahaha! That boy!

    We got on a bus to come back home... I fell asleep at some point. I woke up when i felt him pulling on my zipper. his hand on my clit. Fuck! I wanted to scream! it was some hour in the am so people couldn't see us. Kissing, touching, heavy breathing...

    Hahahahahaha!

    We got back to my place at around 8 or 9 this morning...
    My housemate heard me screaming when he was getting ready for work. We were both so tired but crazy horny from the ride back. Shit, it had been so long so i enjoyed! Wawawawawawa!!!
    Shit...
    My bed still smells of him.
    We figured it was pointless to put our clothes on so we just slept nude. I would touch him or he'd touch me and we'd do it again and again and again...

    It was so hectic!!!

    Everytime!

    I'm exhausted...

  • for: tamaku, GNM, kye, cuppatea, paternostra, wildeyearnings, kenyagayyouth, etc, etc...

    Posted: August 8, 2009, 7:47 pm by kahawaMoto










    i need to begin with, THERE ARE TOO MANY FINE GAY MEN OUT THERE!!!!!

    We went to this thai restaurant for dinner last night, they were supper friendly, the guys who run the place i mean. Me, my girls and a guy actually stayed to hang out with them after the restaurant was closed.
    Turns out the guys who run the place are a gay couple. A white Zambian, Collin and a guy from Thailand, John. They were both so chatty!!! John was giving us girls advice on love and things. He's 33. Advice on love, and free drinks... :) him and Collin have been together for 12 years. Collin's about 48, but they've made it! He was talking about how people make mistakes, how you should be quick to forgive, how if you get into a fight with your partner, it's best to walk away instead of staying and talking shit, coz words can cut deep, many times people say stuff in their anger that could damage the relationship, etc, etc. He talked about how they were so free in thailand. It's and opencountry, they could hold hands, and make out in the street, people are cool about it. People would be happy for them and whatever... It was nice. Getting to hear about it from a guy i now know.
    Random moment: i commented on one of the wall hangings in the lounge, he said he had a similar smaller one... He gave it to me as a gift!

    ''drown me in the sweet waters of your envy!!!''

    So they ask if we wanna go out. They were going to 'Aqua' a gay club here in port elizabeth. A wasn't too sure about it. He's as straight as the next straight guy... But we managed to convivce him.

    To AQUA we went!!!

    The music, the lights, the psyche!!! It was awesome!!! that and John wouldn't let us pay for any drinks! We were a kinda big group, 6 of us, plus 5 others who worked at the restaurant. He kept getting shooters! He know's the owner of the club so we got in for free... There were HOT TOPLESS MEN dancing on stage, but it wasn't tacky or whatever... Just sexy!!! :)
    This one bartender...!!! He was just SIX FEET OF FOOOOOIIIIIINNNNE!!! And he was straight! Sweet moses!

    We had sooo much fun, even A... At some point we needed to go to the bathroom, and the girl in the stall was taking forever to come out... Turns out it was two guys...! They were young. Musta been 18 or 19. It was the cutest thing!!!

    Oh, and some goodlooking les chick tried to hit on me!!! We were just dancing and whatever then she got really close to my face... Wow... Confusion... It was hectic bra!

    Again, too many fine gay men out there!!! You should have seen me, kahawaMoto trying to figure out who were tops and bottoms and versatile etc... It was really cool! Hands down the best night i've had in Port Elizabeth so far!!!

    I don't think i'd have appreciated it as much if i hadn't stumbled upon some of the gay blogs i follow, so thanks guys!!!

    Ps; there was 'gay nude art' at the men's bathroom at the restaurant. I did this blogpost from my phone, but i'll upload the pics (of course i went to the mens loo and took pics!), as soon as i get to a computer.... All i can say is, for Harry Potter fans, ya'll will get to see HARRY'S WAND!!!

  • the honsou... that body. SWEET MOSES!

    Posted: August 3, 2009, 2:10 pm by kahawaMoto
    some of the pictures i'm gonna print out for my room.
    eye candy!










  • i'm just feeling blegh...

    Posted: July 28, 2009, 3:41 pm by kahawaMoto
    it's my second day of school.
    it should be my second week, second day of school but kenyans schooling in PE always arrive fashionably late. i'm still waiting on some of my friends to come back.
    yup. fashionably late.

    being in south africa does wonders to my self esteem. the negative type of wonders. the women here are beautiful... i leave the house feeling okay, walk to the bus stop, get into a taxi (that's what they call matatus here) the first girl i see makes me feel like shit.
    sigh.

    i'm still yet to go check out the gym at the campus near by. me and L are supposed to go. i haven't heard from her though. her phone is messed up. maybe i'll go today after school.

    it turns put my face connected with the cigarette machine friday night. me and my girl were dancing and we cropped. i have no memory of that. i just know i woke up on saturday feeling like i had been punched in the face. at least there wasn't any swelling or bruising. it still hurts. i'd go check it out but i'm yet to apply for medical cover fo rthis semester. god knows i can't afford hospital bills on my allowance.

    sigh.

    ummm, SHE said we're okay. she sounded indifferent. i won't talk about her anymore.
    i'll try not to talk about HIM also. i think i'm just entertaining him. i'm the guaranteed inbox every time he opens his facebook. not a good look.

    on the flip side, tomorrow i get to watch both Harry Potter and Transformers. yes. both . wednesday is half price day at the movies. i stay right next to the movies, and a bar, and a bowling alley... it's kinda like a mall... with everything except a grocery store. i need a pick me up.

    i'm gonna go on facebook now to see if HE's replied my message.

    make my day. yeah, you, reader. :) give it a try...

  • stori za weekendi...

    Posted: July 25, 2009, 1:24 am by kahawaMoto
    I didn't know i was gonna go out until about 7pm. Me and my pal were finishing off the vodka from wednesday, he says something about needing to get his 'dick wet' and about how he knows i'm on a dry spell, so we should go 'hunting'. I would be his wingman.

    ''make sure you look sexy'' that's what he said as i picked out my outfit. New killer sweater from woolworths, skinny jeans, -thank God it's winter. ANYONE can pull off winter fashion! :)

    At the club, first guy i see, 'unpleasant-experience-from-two-or-three-months-ago'. And no, i won't call him 'U.E.F.T.O.T.M.A' for short! Hehehe... Had to be polite, etc, etc, sex with this guy was sooo lousy. Ugh. It only happened once. We were kinda dating, it put me off completely.

    So far, it did't look like it was gonna be a successful hunt. Meanwhile, my friend el-predator had already schemed through the whole spot, noticing everyone including the cute waitress in red and the kooger/wanna-be milf at the bar.

    Some guys tried to hola. No one worth getting excited about. Besides, everytime el-predator left to go mac on some girl, mr.unpleasant experience was there trying to mac on me. On some 'why didn't shit work out' tip. 'Dude, you know why...' i had once told him during some drunk facebooking spree.

    We move to the next spot, this is the international students' hang out. it on what looks like to be an abandoned train station. With the train cars and everything. A big part of the club is actually part train...

    To the bar!!!!!

    One tequilla, two tequilla, three tequilla four...!

    We danced! I forgot about being on the hunt. I'm more of a hunted kinda person. the whole pick up lines at the bar thing is not really my style. And i wasn't that desperate for a shag, i could hold out abit longer... I got so drunk!

    I guess that's the end of that hunter-hunted story.

    Besides, HE is on my mind! Bastard! He's got me wanting him and he doesn't enen know it! Shit. We haven't talked since thursday. I just wanna do things to him. The physical side has been replaying in my mind. Even to what spot his shirt would land on after i take it off. And his skin, and his chest and me ontop... And cuddling. And the morning after... I tried calling him yesterday. It didn't go through. This is a crush right? It's been a while...

    SHE... I don't even know anymore... i know she'll read this...
    To her,
    YOU KNOW I LIKE YOU!!! YOU KNOW. YOU KNOW I'VE NEVER DONE WHAT WE DID AND THINGS. I STILL WANT T.H.A.T. I STILL WANNA BE YOUR THAT. FUCK, WE'RE THE ONLY ONES WHO CALL IT THAT... :) I DON'T FEED OFF THAT SHIT. YOUR SENTIMENTS DO MATTER. LEMMI KNOW WHEN I CAN HOLA. I MISS YOU...

    My mind wanders back to HIM.

    SHIT.

  • BTW...

    Posted: July 25, 2009, 8:26 am by kahawaMoto
    I guess... Even after me and you, in your house, in your room, in YOUR BED... I under estimated you and your flexibitility. After EVERYTHING that we've been through...

    I'm glad that you moaned when i touched and kissed you... I'm glad that you almost made me cum, i'm glad that you almost turned me bi, i'm glad that i got to grab your ass and squeeze your tits, and...

    Despite OUR mis performances, i love you, purple dew...

  • gone till november...

    Posted: July 23, 2009, 8:08 pm by kahawaMoto
    SHE is mad at me. I read the details on HER BLOG.
    HE is totally clueless about my feelings. CLUELESS.
    THEY are both in Nairobi.
    I am back in Port Elizabeth.

    I got drunk last night. It was hilarious! I dreamt of HIM... When i woke up, for the first few seconds i thought i was at HER place.
    Twisted.

    I'm at pizza guys- the pizza place at the mall, waiting for my bill. Across the table, three bags. Shitload of shopping. Comforter, duvet cover, bed sheets, heater, toothbrush, toothpaste, bright orange cushion- i felt my room needed a dash of colour. Plus there was a clearance sale at sheetworld. I'm taking a matatu home. it's probably raining.

    I'm single in the winter again. Figured i might as well keep warm. There's half a bottle of vodka under my table from last night. We'll see what happens.

    I'll go to school tomorrow.

  • my last weekend in nairobi...

    Posted: July 20, 2009, 2:45 am by kahawaMoto


    i don't really wanna get into the details, but yeah...
    *sulk*

  • the L word.

    Posted: July 16, 2009, 2:15 pm by kahawaMoto
    and no... i'm not talking lupus, or loan or land-lord or ummmm... lollipop (i'm clearly running out of words) i'm talking about the t.v series... the one with the women doing things and stuff, and confusing even straight girls... that's where it all started.

    so my friend brought me the dvd... two years ago
    at some point i have a very, you know... action filled dream about my friend
    she has a dream about me too.

    >>fast forward to a year later>>

    we start kinda flirting... ummm... i can't even type this note with a straight face.
    i don't get it though. this girl is... amazing and she makes me feel... (insert mushy, soft, girly stuff).

    i'm trying to figure out how to get to the climax-pun totally intended, of my story...

    she flirts, i flirt back, it's been going on for months. we hadn't really done any thing physical, except kiss, but two college girls kissing is about as common as, you know... two girls kissing. i wasn't really bi. and i was done with my curious phase... i was what the urban-dictionary would call "bar-sexual" at the time... (look it up!)

    >>fast forward to tuesday>>
    i go to her place, nervous as hell, there's a couple of girls... you know, drinking, smoking up, watching funny clips, just having a good time. i wasn't spending the night, had a shit load of errands to do before i went back to school next week.
    we drink, laugh, talk, sit, gossip, bitch, some girl in the corner is doing her nails, more drinks, more kush...

    ...she was sitting on me at some point...
    that was some really good kush...
    aw man! can't believe we're out of K.C
    did we just kiss???
    me and her do shots of SoCo in the kitchen

    /////i zone out for a minute or twenty/////

    it turns out, i AM spending the night.
    we're out of alcohol
    the girls leave, one by one...

    we do the whole, changing into p.j's and getting into bed thing.
    we try to sleep.
    nah... i take that back, we didn't try.

    the long and the short is me and this girl... we did some things man. we did some things and some stuff... and then, we did some more things.

    >>the morning after>>
    what are her boxers doing on my side of the bed?
    i think maybe i should wear my bra now...
    zero awkwardness.
    she's hungry, i'm thirsty...
    we don't talk about it
    we have fries for breakfast.
    i go home some time in the afternoon.

    >>right now>>
    we're totally cool
    looking forward to the sequel!

  • aftermath...

    Posted: July 12, 2009, 1:16 am by kahawaMoto
    After
    heartache
    countless-
    regrets
    insecurities
    retarded-
    obsession
    wanting
    needing
    alcohol-
    binging
    her
    heartbreak
    him
    rumours
    calls
    texts
    letters
    songs
    cuddles
    cigarettes
    birth…
    control
    fights
    blood
    bruises
    you
    me
    hate
    tears
    laughter
    sweat
    fears
    lies
    sex
    love…

    The loneliness kills me.

  • what matters

    Posted: July 12, 2009, 4:25 am by kahawaMoto
    I went upcountry yesterday. Me, my mom and my father figure. It was amazing. I hadn't been in almost two years.


    My cucu* broke down because she was so happy to have lived to see me grown. Me, her and my mom hugged for the longest time as she said a quick prayer. We were all crying. Three generations of first born daughters. (cliche line coming up) at that moment, there's no where else i'd have rather been... i felt completely content.

    I finally got to see youngest cousin. now one year, six months. The last time i saw him, his mother was not even pregnant with him. He likes eating raw peas. He can't chew that well yet so i chewed them up, one at a time and fed them to him. He walks around with the pods in his pocket. He gave me one pod.

    Me and my mom and cucu walked through the shamba. She complained about the lack of rain. The sukuma wiki* didn't grow fully, the tomatoes had withered, so had the carrots and beans. The only thing that was doing well were the miraa* trees planted randomly around the farm. Mom taught me and cucu how to chana*. Cucu thinks it's too bitter. I do too. I'd rather stick to my potions and herbs. There's a male calf tethered at one side of the farm. He doesn't go grazing with the other cows because he gets aggresive and eats the neighbours' crops. He is my calf. I told cucu that he's probably just misunderstood.

    At the end of the farm, we get to the gravesite. My uncle passed away in 2005 while my mitu* passed away in 2006. Me and my mom tidy up the graves while cucu sits on a bench nearby. Her arthritis won't let her stand for long periods. She says she wants to be buried next to my uncle. Her first son. My mom talks to her brother as if he were there. I removed some dried up leaves from mitu's grave. That was when my cousin the one i mentioned earlier was brought to us by his mom. Cucu holds him and cries.

    We talk, we laugh, we eat, we cry. Mom has to make a phone call. I oil and comb cucu's hair before we take photos. Cucu loves having her picture taken. Soon it's time to go. Father figure is back to drive us back to Nairobi. We hug, i tell cucu i'll be back in november. She tells me she'll pray everyday till then.


    cucu* -grandmother
    sukuma wiki* -kale
    miraa* -khat
    chana* -chew khat
    mitu* -great grand mother

  • I'm falling... Oh crap.

    Posted: July 9, 2009, 5:22 pm by kahawaMoto
    -We've been talking for over three weeks now.
    -I don't know what exactly is going on between us.
    -I DO know that i get excited everytime i hear from him.
    -Not that high-school, giggling excited...
    -More like ''i'm glad he's enjoying this too excited''
    -I didn't get to talk to him last night, or this morning.
    -I was a little disappointed.
    -That worries me.
    -He probably hasn't even noticed that this is the longest pause we've had in our ongoing conversation.
    -I wonder what he's doing right now...

    The fact that i'm giving the whole situationt this much thought scares me shitless!!!
    A good kind of scared though.

  • I'm falling... Oh crap.

    Posted: July 9, 2009, 5:09 pm by kahawaMoto
    -We've been talking for over three weeks now.
    -I don't know what exactly is going on between us.
    -I DO know that i get excited everytime i hear from him.
    -Not that high-school, giggling excited...
    -More like ''i'm glad he's enjoying this too excited''
    -I didn't get to talk to him last night, or this morning.
    -I was a little disappointed.
    That worries me.
    -He probably hasn't even noticed that this is the longest pause we've had in our ongoing conversation.
    -I wonder what he's doing right now...

    The fact that i'm giving the whole situationt this much thought scares me shitless!!!
    A good kind of scared though.

  • r.i.p

    Posted: July 7, 2009, 11:36 pm by kahawaMoto


    i hadn't written anything about this before... it hadn't really sunk in.
    the memorial showing live on CNN...
    despite all the drama, and him already being a legend even before i was born... he deserves the fuss, and the blinged out coffin, and the celebrities singing at the service. and his funeral being broadcasted worldwide, and me canceling my plans to watch it.

    Michael Joseph Jackson
    1958-2009

    THE KING OF POP LIVES ON...

  • change...

    Posted: July 6, 2009, 12:45 am by kahawaMoto
    I feel as though, as the months have gone by, the content of this blog has really strayed from my original intentions.
    That being said, there might some changes.
    Love it or love it!

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes

Kenyan Blogs