Items by Wanjiku Unlimited

Wanjiku Unlimited

• Oregon Man Gives Birth To Baby Girl

  Posted: July 4, 2008, 4:06 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  34 year old Thomas Beatie is the proud father of a baby girl. Nothing unusual about that except Thomas is the one who carried the pregnancy. He gave birth in a hospital in Oregon USA. Thomas said in a past interview that it felt incredible to be a pregnant man.

  So is Thomas a man or a confused woman? Or a man in a woman’s body? Or a bearded woman? Or a marvel of medical Frankenstein? Is he the proud father or proud mother? He’s is a transgender. He was born female (Tracy Lagondino) but underwent a gender switch surgery and testosterone therapy to become Thomas Beatie who is now legally recognized as male. He decided to keep the female reproductive organs even as the breasts were surgically removed. You can see the breast removal scars from the picture.

  Bettie says wanting a biological child is neither a male nor a female desire but a human one. Nancy, his wife of 10 years was unable to conceive because of a hysterectomy she had had after an illness. And who wants a surrogate when he’s perfectly capable of carrying his own child? Thomas and Nancy agreed that he was the one to carry the baby. He stopped taking his twice a week testosterone injections and used a sperm donor to get pregnant using a home insemination kit. No fertility clinic could touch him. According to the Times Online, this is not the first time Thomas has attempted insemination. His first attempt resulted in a life threatening ectopic pregnancy that had to be surgically aborted. He thus lost all three embryos. This time round the couple is lucky though.

  I try not to judge anyone. I really have no problem with what people do behind closed doors. Whatever one is, transgender, gay, lesbian, bisexual I just have no problem. It is when kids begin to say ‘my dad is my mom’ that I worry. Or when wives begin to say ‘my husband is the mother of my baby’. That is weird science if you ask me. But Thomas says their family will be a normal one. He’ll be the baby’s father and Nancy will be the mother – like any other happy family.

  There’s concern that the unfortunate child is psychologically screwed from age zero and might grow up to have severe emotional problems. But who is to say? There are children being raised by drug addict mums and dads out there and of course there are lots of other misbehaving parents. The question is who should throw the first stone? The couple has their fans who include Nancy’s older daughters who believe their parents are role models. Thomas is not the first transgender to give birth. There’s another story here.

  Big words we’re hearing here. Home insemination kit. So now you can get pregnant at home. Yeah of course you can but on your own? Without a guy?

  See also: KBC, KTN and NTV Plodding Along

• Entrecard - A Sure Winner For Blog Traffic

  Posted: July 2, 2008, 3:55 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  If you do not have an Entrecard Widget on your blog then you’re missing out on lots of blogosphere goodies. Most bloggers have been through a scenario where you visit a blog, love the content, wrack your brains for a comment but none is forthcoming. But still you want the blog owner to know that you paid them a visit. Personally I’ve found myself wishing there is some sort of stamp I can use to say “I was here’. In such a case Entrecard gives you a distinct advantage. The concept is pretty much like a business card which you drop on other member’s blogs when you visit. For visiting other blogs and letting then advertise on yours, entrecard rewards you with credits which you can then use to advertise your blog on other blogs. Got the drift?

  The beauty of Entrecard is that it’s free and there’s nothing mysterious or technical about it. You can clearly see how it works. So register today. Roam around blogosphere discovering great blogs and dropping your card as you move along. In all likelihood, the bloggers on whom you drop your card will follow it to your blog and drop theirs. That way you create a network of bloggers, give your blog exposure, generating traffic, and have lots of fun while at it. You also get to discover many wonderful and fun blogs which you’d probably never have chanced upon.

  I learnt about Entrecard from my blogthren Nairobian Perspective and registered immediately. I have since witnessed a significant increase in my blog traffic and it’s going up gradually. Not in the thousands but I’m getting there one day. Thanks Nairobian. As one member from Asia says, ‘One of my visitor left comment about trying Entrecard and getting about 200 - 300 visits per day. That moment changed my blog visits to 3 figure visits’.

  Among all the snazzy HTML additions out there, Entercard is one sure winner. Take time to read their free PDF E-Book to understand the concept better.

  Happy blogging.

  See Also:

  Where are our movies, Project Nollywood?

  Life Online - One Girl's Experience

• At Last! African Music On Idols East Africa

  Posted: June 30, 2008, 3:46 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  For the first time we have seen Africans showcase the beauty of African Music on an African Music talent show. Such irony! The thing is Africans sound better singing African songs and this is what the contest should have been about right from the start. Proudly African. Never mind that yesterday they all sang South African songs. It was good to note too that some of the contestants tried to incorporate something African in their looks either in the clothes, headgear or jewelry. You can always trust Amarra to outdo them all. And at least the presenter did not have pink butterflies on his lapels this time.

  I’d always thought that the departure of Cynthia would expose Adiona’s weak singing but it seems I have another think coming. This time round the girl performed like an already practicing musician. She gave her best performance ever since she began her journey on Idols. How African music can transform an African! It’s hard to imagine she’s the same one who murdered Beyonce’s song a few weeks ago! Yesterday she looked and sounded the part and maybe she should stick to this kind of music. All the judges loved her performance. Scar thought it had a beginning and then an end. Duuh! Of course it had a beginning and then an end Mr. Matlhabapiri.

  My money is on Eric. The guy is a star performer and a brilliant entertainer as he continues to prove week after week. His song seemed like a serenade for Angie whom he sent into a prolonged blush. She blushed so much she could hardly critique the performance. The audience loved him so much too and got into an even more prolonged frenzy. Only Scar thought that the vocals were not well projected – but those are African vocals Scar! Mellow. If you give the contestants an African theme, are you still judging on the screeching notes that they’ve been aping all along? Scar was clearly not in an African mood anyway. What was raw African authenticity especially in Mukhuluki’s and Eric’s performances translated as bad vocals for this often temperamental judge. And he thought Nicollete’s performance was like kissing a giraffe. Simon Cowel is back.

  TK was not impressed with Trina and Amarra’s vocals. He expected better from them judging from their past performances. But what they may have lacked vocally they made up for with the dance moves. These girls can gyrate! Whatever were they upto?!

  The giraffe twist was fun to watch. What was that giraffe upto with Nicollete?

  Does that independent judge add any value to the show?

• It's A Guy Thing

  Posted: June 27, 2008, 4:45 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  Guys before you close this page at the sight of a correction stick please note that it’s for you. See there, Clinique Stick Correcteur for men. That’s a pocket size concealer pen that can go with you from the office to the pub. Apply it to hide the razor bump marks and other blemishes for an even toned skin. But the razor bumps may be non existent in the first place because you probably also use MenScience Shea Butter Intensive moisturizer.

  There is nothing wrong with a guy looking after himself. Top designers like Clinique, Clarins and Lancome have long known that and are making a killing out of masculine skin care products. While the male cosmetic market is not as old and flourishing as female, it has grown very rapidly over the years and sales of male grooming products are leaping by the billions. That means there’s something there. The idea is, if you can spend money on cologne to smell good, why not spend money on products to look good.

  When our grandfathers think of grooming, they think of soap. Tough gritty Dark Age soap that you showered with and then lathered the same to use as you would lotion. More recent generations of men can talk about Rexona, Imperial Leather and Old Spice among other products. They can go further and incorporate shower gel, shaving cream, aftershave and cologne. But of late there is also the man who is as much at home having facials, manicures and pedicures as he is having botox injections.

  There are only so many ways you can sell three-step-cleansing kits and other beauty handsome products to men – high quality, macho packaging (no pink bubbles) and tough as nails names. No small time romances in the naming. It’s gruff and vaguely scientific names like Bath Bombs, Brute, Free Range Chicken Poop Lip Balm (Ok that’s not for men), Apothecary, Anthony Logistics Hair Treatment, Ultraceuticals Even Skintone Serum ………. you get the drift. And not so gentle on the instructions either. Don’t ask the guys to dab them gently and apply in circular motions. They need hard working moisturizers and lip exfoliators so tell them to slap them on rub hard.

  Ladies whose guys have taken grooming to the next level are lucky they don’t have such a hard time manscaping. What’s more, you can compare notes with your man on whose eyebrow shaping and colouring came out better. It’s so much easier for you to gift shop for him. Over the years you have bought him enough wallets and belts. Now you can have a longer list of possibilities with gifts like microfine soothing facial scrub, Almond hand/nail cream or soothing lip exfoliator. But when your toner is finished do not attempt to go for his. What looks like a friendly bottle of bubbles could turn out to be a harsh wake up call. Macho products have some extra bite. It’s a guy thing.

  And here is an example of a futuristic gym locker room conversation between two guys:

  Kamau: Hey Wekesa, I seem to have forgotten my foundation. Can I use yours?

  Wekesa: Sure dude. But mine is number 10. Your complexion looks like a 12.

  Well and good guys. Do your make up. Just please don’t end up looking like Marilyn Manson here.

  PS:

  I did a major survey for this article. Ok I questioned a few guys in the office and had a good laugh while at it. For most here it’s soap, aftershave and cologne. Only one Bonge of the Benzing Ring fame goes further to add vaseline, moisturizer and antiseptic liquid for his bath water.

• May I Take Your Order?

  Posted: June 27, 2008, 4:44 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  China is gearing up for the Beijing 2008 Olympics and needless to say there’s a lot of preparation to be done. Other than conducting a massive and shocking clean-up in parts of the country, the Chinese Government has asked local restaurants to translate their menus into English in preparation for the many English speaking visitors who will be attending the Olympics.

  The naming of Chinese dishes is a very elaborate affair. It’s an artful combination of cultural, artistic, historical, geographical and political aspects. Some dishes derive their names from Chinese fairy and folk tales. For this reason many times only the people who know the culture well can understand the menus there. Translators are using cooking method, materials, taste and names of people and place as criteria for naming the foods. There’s a delicate balance to be maintained because they don’t want to lose their cultural backgrounds and yet they have to come up with Menus that their English speaking visitors can understand.

  However, poor grasp of the English language and feeding Chinese dishes into a computer translator can combine to come up menu items like ‘Star fried Wikipedia’, ‘steamed eggs with Wikipedia’ or ‘husband and wife lung slices’ among other bizarre menu entries. Or does ‘braised pork balls in soy sauce’ sound better? Not my words! These are actual menu entries. Not to worry though. The waiters and waitresses are being trained to explain. And it seems they’ll have a lot of explaining to do.

  Let’s for instance translate a dish that is listed in a Chinese menu as ‘chicken without a sexual life’. Chicken without a sexual life is actually what a translator with a more grace would call ‘virgin chicken’. On an English menu you may find the same dish gracefully named ‘Steamed Spring Chicken’. It’s that simple. And here are some more entries you might come across in a literally translated menu.

  • Eggplant prepared under mysterious circumstances
  • Shredded documents with Hoisin sauce
  • Vegetables with Tingling Horse Flavor
  • Domestic life beef immerses cabbage
  • Crispy fish with discarded needle
  • Cold Noodles in Sesame Waste
  • Aromatic Octopus on wheels
  • Sweet & Salmonella soup
  • Roast Pork Puppy Chow
  • Barbecued Bear Ribs
  • Squished Eel delight
  • Peking Daffy duck
  • Force Fed Shrimp

  These are actual dishes on a Chinese menu. You don’t believe me? Check out some more here. Or here.

  I’ve nothing against the Chinese as one would imagine after reading this and a previous article on this blog. Rather they fascinate me. They really fascinate me and make me laugh. I love them.

  See also: We are what we watch.

• May I Take Your Order?

  Posted: June 24, 2008, 5:41 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  China is gearing up for the Beijing 2008 Olympics and needless to say there’s a lot of preparation to be done. Other than conducting a massive and shocking clean-up in parts of the country, the Chinese Government has asked local restaurants to translate their menus into English in preparation for the many English speaking visitors who will be attending the Olympics.

  The naming of Chinese dishes is a very elaborate affair. It’s an artful combination of cultural, artistic, historical, geographical and political aspects. Some dishes derive their names from Chinese fairy and folk tales. For this reason many times only the people who know the culture well can understand the menus there. Translators are using cooking method, materials, taste and names of people and place as criteria for naming the foods. There’s a delicate balance to be maintained because they don’t want to lose their cultural backgrounds and yet they have to come up with Menus that their English speaking visitors can understand.

  However, poor grasp of the English language and feeding Chinese dishes into a computer translator can combine to come up menu items like ‘Star fried Wikipedia’, ‘steamed eggs with Wikipedia’ or ‘husband and wife lung slices’ among other bizarre menu entries. Or does ‘braised pork balls in soy sauce’ sound better? Not my words! These are actual menu entries. Not to worry though. The waiters and waitresses are being trained to explain. And it seems they’ll have a lot of explaining to do.

  Let’s for instance translate a dish that is listed in a Chinese menu as ‘chicken without a sexual life’. Chicken without a sexual life is actually what a translator with a more grace would call ‘virgin chicken’. On an English menu you may find the same dish gracefully named ‘Steamed Spring Chicken’. It’s that simple. And here are some more entries you might come across in a literally translated menu.

  • Eggplant prepared under mysterious circumstances
  • Shredded documents with Hoisin sauce
  • Vegetables with Tingling Horse Flavor
  • Domestic life beef immerses cabbage
  • Crispy fish with discarded needle
  • Cold Noodles in Sesame Waste
  • Aromatic Octopus on wheels
  • Sweet & Salmonella soup
  • Roast Pork Puppy Chow
  • Barbecued Bear Ribs
  • Squished Eel delight
  • Peking Daffy duck
  • Force Fed Shrimp

  These are actual dishes on a Chinese menu. You don’t believe me? Check out some more here. Or here.

  I’ve nothing against the Chinese as one would imagine after reading this and a previous article on this blog. Rather they fascinate me. They really fascinate me and make me laugh. I love them.

  See also: We are what we watch.

• Idols East Africa 2008 - Seven More To Go

  Posted: June 23, 2008, 1:43 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  After bidding farewell to Zimbabwe’s Samantha Tirivacho who many still did not deserve to leave the show, Idols East Africa is heating up by the week and all the contestants seem to have upped their game, including Cynthia Kuto. Yeah she’s still in the race. Here's a peek at yesterday's (June 22) show.

  19 year old Zambian Trina Chisanga kicked off the show on a high note with Whitney Houston’s ‘I Wanna Dance With Somebody’. A very big song indeed. She left the audience and the judges visibly excited. TK thought she chose a clever song and Scar thought that she did the song justice. Her voice broke a little bit though somewhere in the high notes but that’s expected and the judges don't seem to have noticed.

  20 year old Zimbabwean Adiona Maboreke gave a better performance this time compared to last week with Keisha White’s ‘The Weakness In Me’. She was accused last week of not feeling the song but this time she tried to change that. She put some more emotion in her performance and the judges thought she was spectacular and very confident. I’m not sure about spectacular but she sure has improved.

  24 year old Cynthia Kuto whom Scar (real name Thabo Matlhabapiri) described as the Houdini of Idols is still very much in the race despite the fact that a lot of people, judges included, think she should go. I think Cynthia is there only because people are voting in favour of their countries and since she's the only one from Kenya, she gets a huge chunk of Kenya's votes. Zimbabwe on the other hand has to split her votes among 4 contestants. Otherwise as soon as they decrease, so will Cynthia’s chances. But at that rate it's not the most talented Idol that Africa is looking for but rather the one from the most populated country. Yesterday Cynthia admitted that musically she does better in groups than she does solo and I think that explains a lot. She has improved this week though but it’s clear she’s still not a singer. As Angela Angwenyi says, Cynthia's problem is that other contestants are growing much faster than Cynthia who seems to be on a platue. 23 year old Zimbabwean Mkhululi Bhebhe was as charming as ever as he sang ‘Have I Told You Lately’ by Rod Stewart. He got really creative by giving a member of the audience a red rose although he almost butchered the song towards the end while trying to 'make it his own'. This smooth operator definitely did a better job than last week. 19 year old Amarra Brown from Zimbabwe dared to do George Michael’s ‘Careless Whispers’. It was good of her to challenge herself in that way but Scar warned her to watch out on the high notes. And once again he's right. If she's not careful she may sound too pitchy. This girl is meant for the stage though and even though she does not win, her path is already clear. 27 year old Eric Moyo also of Zimbabwe brought the late Luther Vandros on stage in his song ‘Here and now’. Eric seems to have listened to Scar advise last week about being too cocky and this time he did less song butchering. But all in all it was a very good performance that Angela thought would make Luther Vandros proud. Finally 19 year old Nicollete Kiiga from Uganda but with ties in Zimbabwe (or is it vice versa) set a very high standard for herself with last week’s sterling performance but unfortunately this week she did not get there. Her attempt at Madona’s ‘Like A Prayer’ was a slight slip back and it seems she’s better off doing slower songs. But I’m sure she’ll bounce back. All the judges were in agreement that the vocals were not good this time.

  May the most talented Idol win.

• Anti-Jigger Campaign Bearing Fruit

  Posted: June 20, 2008, 8:04 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  When Ahadi Trust declared that they were dedicating their energies on an anti-jigger campaign, a lot of people put their efforts down to the many money making ventures posing as Non Profit Making Organizations. Miss World Kenya 2005 Cecilia Mwangi’s active involvement was taken as the Paris Hilton dumb blonde syndrome. Or the silly things that beauty queen hopefuls sometimes say they’ll do to change the world. But with the success of the anti-jigger campaigns, people realized that beauty and brains actually mix very well. This young lady has done more. She blends beauty, brains and guts – the ability to get out there and do something.

  Few creatures on earth can cause as much torment and anguish for their size as the tiny jigger. These bugs are not only a nuisance but a health hazard too. Usually the female burrows into the skin, mostly feet and then lays it’s eggs there causing swelling, itching and pain. Severe infestation can cause deformity and there is the risk of secondary infections like tetanus or even gangrene. In some cases victims end up with deformed toes and loss of toe nails. In more extreme but rare cases, jiggers have been known to cause death. Thankfully, Ahadi are on the ground in the most affected areas providing counseling and surgical instruments to clinics and dispensaries. For these victims, even just a bottle of Dettol antiseptic is a big blessing.

  Treatment is basically surgical extraction of the parasite and this unfortunately raises the scarier problem of spread of HIV through sharing of pins and needles by victims when trying to extract the bugs. People and especially children afflicted by these bugs are often stigmatized and end up with very low self esteem. They can hardly walk let alone play and as such their schooling is interfered with. Many end up dropping out of school and never finding decent jobs, hence spinning the poverty cycle even more.

  Majority of Kenyans who grew up in urban areas have no idea what a jigger is. It’s a long forgotten pest that is wrecking havoc in some rural areas as has been exposed by Ahadi Trust. Although it affects many parts of the country, Murang’a District in Central Kenya seems to have borne the brunt of the jigger menace. And the leaders, some of whom probably had a jigger or two in their childhood, forgot about it too. When the topic came up for discussion on the floor of the house after awareness created partly by Ahadi and partly by the media, the Government had no data on jigger prevalence.

  But now the word is spreading really well. Bloggers too, who by the way are becoming a very powerful medium in Kenya are also taking time to highlight the problem. It has also caught the attention of parliamentarians with Kalonzo Musyoka donating Kshs.100,000/- towards the campaign and Kenyans living in London pledging a similar amount. With enough dedication from the right quarters, there is every indication that the problem will soon be history.

  See also: Soccer For All By 2030?

• Misbehaving Dads Who Deserve No Celebration

  Posted: June 18, 2008, 3:50 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  Sunday 15^th June the world celebrated father’s day. Quite a foreign term this part of the world but it’s good to celebrate fathers all the same. Millions of cards and gifts flew around the world as people showed their male parents some love and appreciation. There are millions of outstanding fathers out there. Kudos to those. But it’s a world teeming with misbehaving ones too and many sons and daughters have nothing to celebrate about their fathers.

  There are some whose biological functions never quite translated into parental responsibilities. Like this family I know for whom dad meant getting up at 3 am when he staggered home carrying some meat for dinner. Mum had to wake up and cook for him the meat and ugali. What’s more, all her 4 daughters had to wake up and stay with her in the smoke filled kitchen as she cooked. Including the 5 year old last born. By the time the female army were done cooking, dad would be fast asleep. Even if he was not asleep he would reject the ugali as too soft, too hard, or not well cooked. The army of girls would troop back to the kitchen to start afresh, the little one dozing on her sisters’ laps. Pure malice if you ask me. Maybe the tough dude should have bought his wife a gas cooker before making such demands. The poor lady had to light firewood in the dead of night.

  Many are the days he’d come home from the city where he worked, ask for school report cards and if even one daughter had not performed will in any subject, he’d beat the whole lot of them. Including the mother but this time excluding the little one. Then one day the unthinkable happened. The first born daughter fell pregnant. She was a bright girl and the most promising academically. She was in form 2 and fees had already been paid for the whole year. The irate father ordered all his other daughters to be pulled out of school and taken for pregnancy tests. This time the little one was 10. She too had a date with the doctor for the test. But for the first time in her life, mum stood up for her little girl and she did not get tested along with her elder sisters, none of whom was pregnant thankfully.

  His children grew up knowing him as this tyrannical monster. Luckily he worked and stayed in town so the horror of having dad home was only once in a while. His arrival would turn the whole house cold with dread. He later fell really sick and mellowed down a lot as he aged. That was the time he started trying to win his children’s love. But by that time they were all grown up, doing well for themselves and taking very good care of their mother. But most of them, having never forgiven their father, out rightly refused to be part of his medical care. Some said they did not have a father. As for the wife he beat up and mistreated for the better part of their marriage, she was there to take care of him in his hour of sickness and need. He died a sad man.

  But this tyrant pales in comparison to some other fathers further afield. Would be preacher Joshua Mauldin felt an uncontrollable urge to place his two month old daughter in the safe, the refrigerator and finally into the microwave oven for 20 seconds. The little girl suffered second and third degree burns on her face and hands. Her left ear had to be amputated as a result of the burns. The 20 year old father was sentenced to 25 years in prison.

  21 year old Derrick Hardy did the opposite. He crammed his girlfriend’s 10 month old baby into the freezer in 2006 apparently to cool a sudden fever. The mother came home only to find her baby in the freezer alongside ice cubes and bugger meat. The baby sustained first and second degree freezer burns on her head and torso. Now if he thought the baby got too cold, would this loony have placed her in the microwave too to heat her up a bit? Just a thought.

  More recently there’s 73-year-old Austrian Josef Fritzl who imprisoned his daughter in a cellar and zero grazed on her for 24 years fathering 7 children with her. There are lots of sick minds out there but this one probably takes the trophy.

• Idols East Africa 2008 - The Story So Far

  Posted: June 16, 2008, 1:11 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  With just 8 contestants left in the Music Talent Show Idols East Africa, it’s is finally taking shape and Africa is proving to have such amazing talent. The contestants are getting better and better by the day. Gone are the circus days of the likes of Kevin Munyi who was there to change the world and Samuel Njuguna of the blond wig. I remember calling this same show a comedy in a past article. It was indeed a comedy then but now we have some real musical stars in the making. Eric Moyo is a great singer by all standards. Other than having a great voice and a wide vocal range, he’s also a darling performer on the stage. But he’s getting too confident and he has been warned by Scar not to cross the thin like between confidence and cockiness. And Scar could be right. Eric tends to butcher his songs a lot by inserting one too many ‘come on’ calls to the audience in the middle of the song. Maybe he should just belt out and the audience will love him anyway.

  Samantha Tirivacho has greatly improved and even though she does not win the competition, she’s a very powerful entertainer all the same and has the ability to build a musical career for herself. Her performance was quite impressive as compared to Adiona Maboreke whose lower register and overall performance as a whole was not up to scratch. Adiona’s performance was just blank with no emotion at all, something all the judges described as disappointing.

  Cynthia Kuto’s performance was simply dismal. There are no sugar coated words to mask it with. Even Angela Angwenyi who is always trying to be sweet had a tough time on this one. She advised her to give herself 1 year before trying to sing again. But Angie if she does not have the talent, where will she get it from even in 10 years? She’s just not a singer and as Scar advised, she should just quit singing. There’s a lot more she can do. Someone mentioned modeling for example. How did she even get to the top 10? Cynthia is surely on her way out and unfortunately with her goes Kenya’s representation in the show.

  Mkhululi Bhebhe sang really well as usual but was noticeably lacking in his usual charisma at the beginning of the performance. The judges were not impressed with him either but Scar handed it to him for effortless delivery. He’s a natural. Mkhukuli has a good lovable personality and with the likes of Cynthia still in the competition, he’s safe and has time to improve on his performance.

  Nicollete Kiiga’s somber performance which she delivered kneeling on the floor can only be described as smashing. She’s a very emotional singer who makes the listener really feel the song. The girl is already a star and her confidence and voice control shone through for her. Her voice wavered a little bit towards the end but that was easily masked by the beauty of the song. All the judges, the audience and I’m sure the viewers were really impressed. Scar thought she set the roof on fire. Way to go girl!

  Amarra Brown – If I was asked to describe Amarra in one word, musically or not, I’d call her sizzling. This sister knows where she’s at and she’s very confident about it. And she’s quite eloquent too. She loves what she’s doing and it shows. She blew Scar’s and I’m sure other viewers’ socks off with a riveting performance of Celine Dion’s ‘I Surrender’. Yesterday was the first time this all rounder attempted a ballad if I’m not wrong. Angela said something like only Mariah Carey has ever hit a higher A note in musical history. Was she implying that Amarra did something that has only ever been done by Maria Carey? If so then the girl will go more places than even she can imagine.

  Trina Chisanga – They say dynamite comes in small packages and Trina is living proof. In a performance that Angela Angwenyi described as out of this world, the singer delivered an emotional performance straight from the heart. Scar advised her to avoid the habit of screaming her performances to conserve energy in case she’s in concert and has many songs to do. But if her vocal cords are powerful enough to belt out like that and still have energy left for more performances then why not?

  Idols East Africa is obviously heating up and I’m sure fans can hardly wait for next week. Overall it seems that although Scar may be mean and all, his advise is spot on. Just like Simon Cowel.

• Stealing From Plane Crash Victims?

  Posted: June 12, 2008, 3:38 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  The deaths of Kipkalya Kones, Lorna Laboso and others in a plane crash in Kajiado North came as a shock to many people. And also as a blow to their families, the government of Kenya and the ODM party in particular. Plane crashes are never a good thing and nobody wants to think of them because we still have to travel somehow. May I take this opportunity to express my condolences to the families of the bereaved.

  I was more than shocked to read in the Daily Nation that some villagers of Konjong’a village where the plane crashed actually rummaged through the pockets of the dead and stole money and guns. I’m no expert in matters aviation but I know that most times bodies break apart on impact. The degree of disintegration depends on several factors which we shall leave to the physics experts. What we do know is that in some cases the impact of a crash can shatter ribs and other bones, making them sharp missiles that then pierce into vital organs and even through the skin to the outside. In other cases hitting the ground at high speed causes the major internal organs to be pushed against the spine and ribcage at a pressure they can not possibly withstand and they end up getting liquefied in the body. In short bodies at a plane crash sight must be nothing short of grotesque.

  For someone to then sift through the debris, locate the bodies and go through their pockets? That must be a morbid thief extraordinaire. And let’s not even blame poverty or lack of education for such kinds of acts. A thief is a thief is a thief. The average human being is afraid of death, dying and the sight of dead bodies. But obviously some people have no such feelings. What happened to the days when young men used to actually work hard for a living? Now many of them sit back and expect free lunch, all the while blaming the government for their own laziness.

  There’re many things one can do if they stumbled on a crash site but rummaging through the pockets must be the uncoolest of them all.

• Tattoos For Babies?

  Posted: June 9, 2008, 7:05 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  Did someone take his/her baby to the tattoo parlor? No, nobody would do that. But someone sure did take the baby's photo through some photoshop or something. Whichever way, whatever were they thinking? And the cutie himself seems to have quite some attitude.

• Hats Off For Lorna Irungu

  Posted: June 6, 2008, 7:34 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  It’s hats off for one Lorna Irungu who must be the bravest girl on Kenyan soil. In a story she gave to the new look Drum East Africa, Lorna says that she believes in the possibility of only good things happening to her.

  These are very brave words coming from a young woman who has had to grapple life threatening ailments for over ten years. Just this year in January she was admitted in hospital suffering from tuberculosis of the spine. I watched her on TV some time back explaining what she has to go through in terms of treatment. This left two of her vertebrae badly damaged. She spent much of January in a medically induced coma. Treatment of the TB left her kidneys and liver badly damaged and she now has to undergo dialysis treatment twice a week. To this end she has a permanent catheter on the upper right side of her chest onto which the dialysis machines are hooked when she goes for her sessions. And yet despite all this, Lorna has bounced back much to the surprise of some of the doctors who were treating her.

  When we speak of her kidneys note that she has had two kidney transplants already, one in 1998 and another in 2001. Much earlier she was diagnosed with Lupus, which according to Wikipedia is a chronic autoimmune disease in which the immune system attacks the body’s cells and tissue resulting in inflammation and tissue damage. It can affect any part of the body but most often harms the heart, joints, skin, lungs, blood vessels, liver, kidneys and nervous system. It seems in Lorna’s case it affected her kidneys.

  Health issues aside, last year Lorna suffered another blow when her father died of HIV complications as she discloses here. Just how much can one girl take? And yet Lorna seems to be always charming and full of cheer. Quite a strong girl this one.

  Before I read Lorna Irungu’s story I think I had started getting a little bit too comfortable. I had spent the afternoon in the office whining about silly stuff. The afternoon is dragging too long, the tea is not sweet enough, emails are not going through, some files are missing, oh it’s too hot………. and on and on. Then I bought the magazine on my way home and I thought you know what? We need to be grateful for everything we have.

  Despite all this the cheerful girl still does not know how to be sad. Lorna’s words in verbatim, “you can decide to be a crier or a fighter, a person who rejoices. I do not know how to be sad.” Thank you Lorna for being so inspiring.

  Parts of this story, ok most of this story is adopted from the new look Drum.

  On a lighter note Lorna Irungu I think has a striking resemblance to equally beautiful celebrity Star Jones.

• Obama's Life Journey In Photographs

  Posted: June 3, 2008, 4:26 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  Photographs of the man who could be the next president of the United States Barack Obama since his childhood to date, together with his father, wife and two girls.

• International Slap Your Workmate Day

  Posted: May 30, 2008, 6:05 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  Did you know that January 16^th is International Nothing Day? And 21^st January is Squirrel Appreciation Day? And January 26^th is Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day. Check here for a few more crazy holidays. The bubble wrap day I’ll honour. I love bubble wrap. I don’t actually go out and buy it but if it lands in my hands by chance, for some strange reason I leave no bubble unburst.

  Now how about we have an International Slap Your Workmate Day. Not that people don’t already trade slaps in offices and boardrooms. The purpose of making a day for it is to ensure amnesty against any assault cases resulting from the slaps that will be traded. No court cases so people will be free to exercise their palms to the possible maximum. You may only slap one workmate though and any slaps outside the said day are liable for prosecution.

  Here in the office I have a very good idea who I’m going to slap when that day is finally passed into law. I’m not playing the holy card here. I’m not by any chance that bespectacled geek in the corner office who thinks their workmates are cheap. I do participate in office banter a lot but sometimes I just want to shut up and work. Ok Shut up and blog. I have two candidates for the slap but Bonge wins my palms hands down.

  Ours is an open plan office and our work is such that different departments are busy on different days. My candidate is an Information Technology geek. What do IT guys actually do on a day to day basis? When all computers are working perfectly and the networks are fixed to perfection? They browse and chat that’s what. I mean, how many times can you fix a network or service them hard discs?

  This one of ours here traverses the internet morning to evening and comes up with all sorts of weird subjects all of which he’s generous enough to share. It is when you’re trying to crack that mystery of some missing papers that you worked on just the other day that he’ll tell you about the ASCII CODE and the philosophy behind it. If you’re not interested in that, then surely you want to hear about how a volcano comes to be? How the juices boil in the belly of the earth until them tectonic plates can hold no more? How about the Ritcher scale, that one of earthquakes? The law of thermodynamics? The quantum theory? The benzing ring in chemistry and how tricarboxylates react with enamines. That’s the kind of talk he puts us through. His new craze of late is the prices of oil per barrel and he actually spends time doing some imaginary oil trade on the net! Oh Come on Bonge! How about we discuss Jennifer Lopez twin babies today?

  As a plus for him, he’s very well versed in just about any topic in the world. If you really need to know something then he’s the guy to ask.

  This article is posted with full blessings from dear Bonge. Noisemaking notwithstanding, he’s a very sweet guy to work with. And it never hurts anyone to be in the good books of the IT guy does it? His next project? You guessed right – he’s gonna be a writer/blogger. And he won’t just be writing short articles like one Shiko. He swears he’ll come up with an online novel in a few short months.

• Alvaro - Redbull - Malta Guiness

  Posted: May 28, 2008, 5:57 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  Make a statement without saying a word - this aptly describes East African Brewery's new kid on the block Alvaro. In it’s stylish green bottle, it has an outstanding sophisticated look synonymous with the 24-35 age group for whom it’s targeted.

  Produced in pineapple and pear flavours, Alvaro seems to have hit the market with a bang with sales having already jumped to three times above the projected trends. In pubs and supermarkets the drink is said to be flying off the shelves. The high sales are not just from the excitement of a new drink but also from the fact that in complete departure from it’s elder brother Malta Guiness, Alvaro is great tasting, crisp and refreshing. And the price was a pleasant surprise. I bought it for 25 bob at Nakumatt. I’m yet to see it at the local shop though. If shopkeepers embrace it then Coca Cola who are known for not so ethical business practices may be in some trouble. And I hope they have plans to introduce a canned version some time in the future. The idea of returnable bottles is so last century.

  The introduction of Alvaro will create more than 100 direct jobs, plus of course thousands of indirect ones - a sure plus for present Kenya. And what could any venture be without Equity Bank these days. In a partnership with EABL, the bank which has caused chills down the spines of other established banks will step in to finance specific distributors of Alvaro.

  Malta Guinness on the other hand I believe is an experiment gone horribly awry. Like the scientists gave up on it before they completed the process and put it in the market anyway. The first and last time I tasted it, I was done with in on sip one. But I had to finish all my money’s worth. By the time I took the last sip I was ready to sue for extended trauma. It has a thick sickening taste like molasses dissolved in water or something like that. Try it warm, cold, ice cold, chilled - it’s still the same thing. Sorry Malta.

  In my opinion the other drink that may feel the heat from Alvaro is Redbull. A lot of people don’t drink Redbull because they’re badly in need of a tourine fix. Nor do they drink it because they’re so dead tired they need an immediate energy boost. It’s the refreshing crispiness of a chilled Redbull that does the magic. And maybe the class that goes with having a few Redbulls sitting in the fridge

• Liquid Hate - Acid Assult Cases In Kenya

  Posted: May 26, 2008, 7:05 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. This is one thing ‘Bob’ learned the hard way a few years ago when he had his face and upper body splashed with acid by a jilted lover. She cleverly lured him into a trap by asking him to drop her to pick some things at Sun ‘N’ Sand Beach Hotel in Kikambala off the Mombasa-Malindi highway. She had done her homework well and knew that to get to the hotel which is quite interior from the highway, they would pass through some dark deserted areas. Love affairs are difficult to read from outside so whether the lady in question was actually jilted or not is something nobody except the two can know for sure. But I don’t think anyone deserves an acid bathe on the face for whatever reason.

  They met at around 8.00 and set off to the hotel. At the most deserted stretch, the lady poured the acid on the left side of his face and upper body. She also stabbed him but fortunately the knife did not touch any vital organs. It’s the burning and the realization that he was staring death in the face in a dark deserted place that was really getting at him. He stayed there burning for close to two hours. Fortunately he survived. He was rescued by a tours and travel van driver who was coming from the hotel and rushed to hospital where he stayed for months undergoing reconstructive treatment. His face was permanently disfigured by the time he left the hospital.

  From the reports I’ve read around, an acid bathe at first feels like hot water on the skin. Then there’s stinging and a burning sensation that gets worse and worse as the acid eats into the flesh. The victim feels like his/her face is melting away. A lot of victims of this heinous and cowardly crime die soon after the attack but those who survive require months of hospitalization and reconstructive surgery. It’s like the acid also continues to eat at the flesh of the victim way after treatment commences. Some have to have their faces rebuild piece by piece over time. Whichever way, they carry the physical and emotional scars for life. The Psychological trauma of permanent disfiguration is immense and considering that most attackers target the face, permanent blindness is common.

  This cowardly but frightening phenomenon is not as common in Kenya as it is in countries like Cambodia and Nigeria but that does not mean it does not happen. Cases of acid assault reported at Kenyatta National Hospital for example are in the range of 4-5 per month. In Nairobi Women’s hospital they’re few and far between but when they are brought in, they’re of such magnitude they’re not easily forgotten. Acids and other corrosive substances belong to laboratories and industries but the thing is it’s very easy to acquire them. Sulphuric and Hydrochorolic acids which are the ones most commonly used by attackers are both readily available over the counter at Kshs.500 per liter. One can even get then from car repair shops for a pittance. Although Kenya has signed three UN conventions regulating the sale of acids and other corrosive agents, it’s yet to adopt this law within the country.

  Acid wielding killers are just as bad as gun totting criminals and just like we have gun controls, we need some regulation on sales of acids and other corrosive substances.

• American Idol - David Cook Finally Takes The Title

  Posted: May 23, 2008, 3:52 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  American Idols, probably the most watched show in the history of entertainment finally crowned it’s winner David Cook at the Nokia Theatre in grand finale fit for a superstar. It was touching to see him get overcome by emotions after his last performance. Maybe reflecting on his long journey on American Idol was just too much for him and he was glad it was finally over.

  There’s no doubt both Davids are extremely talented. But I’d always been rooting for David Archuleta through out the season and I still believe he delivered. Cook is definitely a great singer but his performances I thought were a bit lackluster for a grand finale compared to Archuleta who delivered knock out after knock out which prompted Simon Cowel to declare him winner of round 1 and 2 of the 3 rounds. It’s just as well though. At just 17 the boy is too young. He has a very powerful voice but most of the time he just didn’t know what to say when asked questions. But hey! It was not a talking competition.

  I think America was afraid to catapult him to teenage megastardom lest he meets the ogre that ate former teenage star’s Britney Spears’ brains. He’s already a star by virtue of his big voice and immense talent but maybe having not won the title will give him a chance to cool off and complete his studies. The youngster had trouble even dealing with the possibility of being crowned American Idol Season 7. Throughout the show he looked mostly overwhelmed - like he would faint at any time. David Cook on the other hand is more mature at 25 years and is better placed to handle the pressures that are likely to come with is new job. I hope their careers will blossom like for some of the former winners of American Idol.

  Speaking of former American Idol Winners, I was really shocked at the performance of one Fantasia Barrino on the show a few weeks ago. Talk of change of musical style! She was never my favorite even during her season but at least she had a sweet voice and actually used to actually sing! This time she landed onto the stage with blazing red hair, red lips and red nails and shouted herself hoarse. Whatever she’s smoking she needs to stop. Even Simon Cowel was caught on camera gawking in obvious disbelief. Other past winners like Jordan Sparks and Kerry Underwood seem to be doing much better.

You Missed This

• How Safe Is Our Money In The Banks?

  Posted: May 22, 2008, 7:25 am by Wanjiku Unlimited

  It seems banks are not the revered places that we once thought. Just a week after writing about a friend who suffered an infiltrated account under an indigenous bank, today the daily nation money magazine is reporting the case Mr. Walubengo who had chillingly similar woes but this time with a local subsidiary of a heavily capitalized international bank which they say was among last year’s aggressive lenders.

  Mr. Walumbengo and his wife Alice first lost Kshs.32,000/-in 1996 when they were transferring their money from the Nyeri to Nairobi branch. The money seems to have disappeared in transit with the Nyeri branch insisting that they had transferred it while the Nairobi branch of the same bank denied receipt of the same. They traveled extensively to Nairobi trying to trace their cash but gave up in frustration as the bank kept passing the buck between the branches. They decided to let go of the money.

  February this year the couple noticed some curious ATM withdrawals from their statements. Another Kshs.32,000/- had disappeared from their accounts between December, 2007 and January, 2008. Some of the withdrawals were made at midnight in locations where they didn’t even know the bank has ATMs. Incidentally the withdrawals were made in branches where the ATMs have no security apparatus like CCTV. The bank insisted that the withdrawals were made using Mrs. Walubengo’s card and heaped blame on her for letting someone else access it. But according to her nobody else except her husband knew her PIN number. They were simply asked to retrace their steps while the bank too carried out their investigations.

  But the bank was not done with the couple yet. Even after reporting the case, another Kshs.4,000/- disappeared and they decided to freeze the account. Two weeks later they were hit with another weird withdrawal of Kshs.31,000/- in cash advances even when for over 10 years they had never used a credit card to withdraw cash. They closed the account in frustration. But after the credit card saga, an account that the couple keeps with the same bank for heavy medical expenses was infiltrated and they lost a further Kshs.43,000/-. The bank is still investigating that too.

  An employee of the bank admitted that there are numerous card fraud cases and many are still being investigated.

  This story is adopted from the Daily Nation Money Magazine.

  See also: Is your money safe in the bank?

Wanjiku Unlimited

• Of Holy Noise And Kenyan Churches

  Posted: May 21, 2008, 4:22 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  Picture this. You’ve had a long week and by Saturday you’re looking forward to a quiet time at home for the entire weekend either alone, or with your family or friends. You buy everything you’ll need for those two days as you get ready to wallow in blissful peace and quiet until Monday morning when you get up to go back to work thoroughly relaxed.

  But someone else has other plans for your weekend. A church that recently sprouted less than 100 meters away from your estate has been assembling a huge public address system in preparation for an afternoon crusade that will run into an overnight prayer vigil. You’ve had a lovely late lunch and just when you’re settling in for that movie you borrowed, the serene silence of the neighborhood is shattered by the now familiar ‘Testing Testing One Two Three Hallelujah’. The word Hallelujah is supposed to invoke positive feelings for the good Lord but in this case a curse escapes your lips. Your problem is not the content of their message though. You also acknowledge the power of God in your life and appreciate that after all there is such a thing as freedom of worship and speech. The problem is the volume of the amplified speakers. The problem is that they’re forcing you and the whole neighborhood to listen to them – what they want, when they want and at the volume they want.

  And so there ends your dreams for a peaceful weekend. They must be worshiping in shifts because they are at it all afternoon, all night and after a brief lull, they’re back Sunday morning around 10.00 am. On Wednesday there is the weekly prayer meeting, Tuesday there is choir practice and some other day in the week there is Piano and other instruments practice – all accompanied by amplified singing and praying.

  This is a scenario that is becoming all too common in Kenya with churches sprouting all over and inching increasingly closer to residential areas. Pubs, company promotions and other non Christian street noisemakers are material for a whole nother post. As much as there are laws to guard the freedom of speech in Kenya, there seems to be none to guard residents against amplified noise or music that is unreasonably loud, raucous, jarring or disturbing to persons other than those for whom it is intended. Take for example a small tin walled church of 30X40 feet. A single loud speaker or indeed none at all, is enough to address the maximum number of congregants that can be accommodated in there. So if the same church mounts loud speakers on the roof, it is no longer for the intended audience but for the neighbors. But is the church sure the neighbors want to listen in the first place? The unfortunate bit is that a church more than any other noisemaker can always play the holy card. How can you complain while the Lord said to spread his holy word? You must be so unholy bla bla bla.

  I feel we need a law on this or if we have one it needs to be enforced. Amplified sound of any kind should only be allowed at certain times and should only be audible upto a certain distance – say 250 feet. Some countries have done their bit to protect their citizens against amplified noise. This has seen preachers arrested under these laws, thrown into jail and their equipment confiscated. In 1996 for example, American Christian Enterprises and SOS Ministries sued the city of San Fransisco for discrimination citing that the police and some listeners disliked what they said. But the US Circuit Court of Appeals rejected their claims with Judge Ronald Gould saying in his ruling that from the evidence provided, the people were concerned about unacceptable noise levels and not with the content of the message.

  Have a quiet day.

• Back To Nyayo House Torture Days?

  Posted: May 16, 2008, 8:02 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  I could not believe what I was hearing on the news about the atrocities allegedly being carried out by army personnel in Mount Elgon. It seems we’re back to the Nyayo house days except this time people are not being taken to the basement of that building. According to the Kenya Human Rights Commission, thousands of people belonging to the Sabaot Community have been tortured to death on suspicion of being members of the Sabaot Land Defense Force. Those who live to tell the story have horrible scars not only on their bodies but also definitely on their psyches.

  There was the very sad case of a woman who was forced to strip before being smeared with pepper in her private parts. This is the most sadistic way of punishment which only a sick mind can come up with. And that means we have some sick minds in our forces. The aim of the officers who did such a thing is not only to inflict maximum pain but also to humiliate the poor woman. There’s also a lot of rape, some victims as young as 14 years old.

  It’s also quite tough on the men many of whom have been rendered impotent from the torture. There are even some disturbing stories of some of them being submerged in sewage and others being made to swallow sand. This makes the more common incidents of being stripped naked and beaten or made to lie on barbed wire sound like child’s play. But it’s a violation of human rights all the same.

  What makes the situation so sad is that the same people they can report to are the ones responsible for all the violence.

• Is Your Money Safe In The Bank?

  Posted: May 14, 2008, 6:32 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  A friend of mine had an unfortunate run-in with a local Kenyan Bank some two years ago. After making an ATM withdrawal, she noticed that something was not right with the balance. Some Kshs.20,000/- was missing from her account. The withdrawal had been made like 2 weeks back and she was sure it was not her. She naturally went to complain inside the bank.

  The teller she complained to, without even asking her any questions, immediately made her fill out ATM fraud forms. Sounding rather admonishing, he told her that the only way her money could have disappeared from her account was if someone else had access to her ATM card and PIN number. She explained to him that the only person who had access to her card was her husband and he couldn’t possibly withdraw money from her account without letting her know. From the way the conversation was going, the teller tried to lay the blame on her and her husband. He even cast doubt on trust levels between them by implying that that very husband might have withdrawn the money and was not being genuine. The guy was calling someone’s hubby a thief!

  Anyway she filled the forms and was asked to wait for some time then go back and check. As soon as she went back to the office, she told the company account about it. He advised her to go back to the bank and request for her latest statement. To her shock she learnt from the statement that the missing money was not withdrawn via ATM. It was a cash withdrawal. And yet in over 4 years with that bank she had never made a cash withdrawal. That became a whole new ball game. She could even sense some panic in the teller. They apologized and said that it must have been a mis-posting. But still a cash withdrawal requires the national identity card and careful comparison of the client’s signature. Anyway, she decided to swallow that excuse, accept the apology and let the bank take care of it. And it did. In the space of half an hour her Kshs.20,000/- was back in her account.

  All salaries for her office were channeled through that bank and she warned her colleagues to go and check their accounts. They rushed to ask for statements which the bank provides usually after six months. Anyone requiring one outside the six months is given at a fee. The results were shocking. Three more of her workmates had their funds missing. For two of them the money was withdrawn and then deposited back after a few days. All without their knowledge. A more unfortunate one had Kshs.15,000/- cash withdrawn from his account and not returned. This was no longer a mis-posting. There seemed to be a deliberate attempt by some employees at the bank to siphon client’s money. And in a very foolish way for that matter. Yet this was only one office. How many more clients spread all over the town had their money played around with?

  My friend was lucky her case was sorted out immediately. But by the time her other colleagues filed their complaints, Central Bank of Kenya had already been notified and the cases had to go through the courts. For the two whose money was stolen and returned however, the case ended fast. For the one who had Kshs.15,000/- still missing, things were not so easy. He had to go to court and testify, then wait for judgment. Only then would he be given his money back. The accused in was one employee of the bank and one customer. It seems the two used to work in cahoots so the bank guy would transfer funds to the customer’s account, the customer would withdraw and they would share the loot.

  As I write this the guy has never received his money back. He’s still waiting for judgment. The bank however within a very short time of this saga fired a lot of it’s employees including the manager. Others were transferred to other branches in the country. So obviously the game was bigger than the one employee who had to go to court as the accused. These days there’s only 2 old faces in the bank. All the rest are new.

  This case leaves me wondering, how safe is our money? This is no small roadside bank by the way. It’s a big bank with branches countrywide. Second since it was obvious the money was withdrawn irregularly, shouldn’t the bank have paid first to reduce inconvenience to the client and then followed the case later?

  And how safe is your cash in the bank?

  See also: Raila Embarks on ‘Big Man’ Journey.

• Microwave Ovens - Are We Putting Our Health In Danger Every Day?

  Posted: May 12, 2008, 5:39 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  The modern woman is a busy one and technology is right there by her side providing gadgets to make her life easier in the kitchen. One of them is the microwave oven. The performance of this gadget is not in doubt but there are some conflicting theories about it’s safety. Wikipedia for example states that although microwave radiation in and of itself can be dangerous, when used properly these devices heat food quickly, efficiently, and safely. Key word SAFELY.

  But I’ve also heard some horror stories about the microwave which left me wondering. Are we embracing technology blindly? Are we indeed benefiting from a few saved minutes and preservation of nutrients or are we slowly killing ourselves in the name of modern technology? It is said that the problem with microwaving is not really radiation. Manufactures have us thoroughly protected against that. The danger is that microwave cooking alters DNA in food thus making it unrecognizable to the body. The body then wraps it in fat cells or eliminates it fast. Could this be true?

  Recently I received an E-mail with some scary account of what the Microwave can do to our bodies and overall health. And what mothers are doing to their babies by heating milk in it. There was also something about a nurse in Canada who warmed up blood for transfusion and the patient died as a direct result of receiving dead blood. Very uncomfortable thoughts especially if a microwave is sitting pretty in your kitchen. Or if you eat in restaurants most of which have microwaves ovens these days. The rest of the mail read like this:

  Continually eating food processed from a microwave oven causes long term brain damage by shorting out electrical impulses in the brain.

  The human body cannot metabolize the unknown by-products created in microwaved food.

  Male and female hormone production is altered by continually eating microwave foods.

  The effects of microwaved food byproducts are residual within the human body.

  Minerals, vitamins and other nutrients of microwaved food is reduced or altered so that the human body gets little or no benefit, or the human body absorbs altered compounds that cannot be broken down.

  The Minerals in vegetables are altered into cancerous free radicals when cooked in microwave ovens.

  Microwaved foods cause stomach and intestinal cancerous growths. This may explain the rapidly increased rate of colon cancer in America and other parts of the world.

  The prolonged eating of microwaved foods causes cancerous cells to increase in human blood.

  Continual ingestion of microwaved food causes immune system deficiencies through lymph gland and blood serum alterations.

  Eating microwaved food causes loss of memory, concentration, emotional instability and a decrease of intelligence.

  So Wanjiku here is wondering, are these all baseless rumors from scaremongers or is there something there?

  
  

  
  

• Happy Mother's Day

  Posted: May 11, 2008, 12:59 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  Mum I know you don’t blog but this is for you all the same.

  I know I wailed the loudest when I was little. And that the terrible twos in my case were really a little more than terrible. I know that my teenage years had you in a permanent fret. I believe all these things served to bring us closer together. Through it all you were a great mum. The best mum. And here we are. We made it.

  Happy Mother’s Day.

• Completely Morally Upright Kijabe Mission Town. Is It Possible?

  Posted: May 9, 2008, 8:41 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  The story of Kijabe Mission Station as reported in the Standard this week reads like a Utopian dream. The town has very high moral standards dating back to colonial times when severe punishments were meted on anyone indulging in vices. There’s no loud music either from shops or matatus like is common in most other towns. Commotion and disorder are unheard of.

  Shops in this place are not allowed to stock cigarettes and alcohol and any new investor has to sign a code of conduct prohibiting him from selling the same and any other immoral products. Any shop keeper found breaching these rules could earn himself an expulsion from the town but if he’s remorseful and apologizes, then he may be allowed to continue operating. This was easier to implement in the past than it is now because most shops were owned by church leaders anyway. The church now employs guards who go round and conduct inspections in shops in an attempt to uphold this rule. But generally these standards are getting more and more difficult to maintain especially with modern life, and employment of professionals from other areas.

  Cohabiting, unwanted pregnancies and children born out of wed-lock are unacceptable. Of course they’re unacceptable everywhere but in Kijabe Mission Station it actually works. Men are not expected to laze around with young women – infact unmarried women are not allowed to be in the company of men after 7.00 pm. This must be difficult even though it’s a mission town and parents there must be a very happy lot.

  Life in Kijabe Mission Station is not easy for the youth although it works out well for them in the long run. Many are known to take a sabbatical from their constraining hometown to go to other areas and indulge. Others go to colleges in other urban areas and have their big break but when they go back home they have to follow the rules again. Others sneak into the forest to indulge in a puff here and there. Or some other sins.

  Now if only all urban centers could be like this place.

• Still Waiting For Miracles?

  Posted: May 7, 2008, 12:32 am by Wanjiku Unlimited

  You know those fake E-mails that promise miracles within 96 hours if you forward to a number of people? And the greater the number of people you send to the bigger the miracle? Our friend here got one many years ago. He’s still waiting for his miracle.

  Now send this link to very many people or else………....

• Obama - Are You Ready For This One?

  Posted: May 7, 2008, 12:17 am by Wanjiku Unlimited

  I’ve tried and tried to understand the USA electioneering system but I always get lost somewhere in the Primaries, Caucuses and super Tuesdays. Ours here I understand a little bit too well. Stuff enough ballot boxes with khangas and lamps and there you have your ticket to parliament. And a ministerial post soon after.

  I’ve since given up on the US system but at least I know the basics. Barack Obama is in the lead. And he took a major stride towards Democratic Party’s presidential nomination with a victory over Hillary Clinton in North Carolina - a big win for the Obama camp which has put him almost beyond Hillary’s reach. The good very forgiving lady will need a miracle to reach him now.

  In my effort to understand the system further, I came across a candidate who could very well be the next president of the United States of America. Maybe just as much as Nazlin Omar could have been Kenya’s president. His name is Jonathon ‘The Impaler’ Sharkey and he’s a Satanic Dark Priest, Sanguinarian Vampyre and a Hecate Witch. As a self proclaimed Satanist, Jonathon will be vying for the US presidency under the Vampires, Witches and Pagans Party which he founded in 2005. The party is officially recognized by the United States Federal Election Committee. Under Jonathon’s leadership (if he wins), gay marriages will not only be allowed, but as an ordained priest he will devote time once or twice a month and conduct them himself at the White House. He has major beef with the likes of Osama Bin Laden and Al-Qaida and although his preferred form of punishment for terrorists is to viciously impale them, he also has good plans to drop a bomb in the holy city of Mecca and level it to the ground.

  This is not the first time Jonathon is vying for public office. He gave presidency a shot in 2004 and now again in 2008. He has also vied for congress in 3 states, New Jersey, Indiana and Florida. In 2006, he ran for Governor of Minnesota.

  It’s difficult to write much about him without sounding like I’m campaigning for him but one last thing. Those who know about wrestling might know him by the name ‘Rocky Hurricane Flash’. He’s also a professional boxer. You may not want to but if you want to see him in his blood stained vampire website, you can check it out here.
  

  
  

• Michael Jackson - Is The Thriller Still Thrilling?

  Posted: May 5, 2008, 9:13 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  Does this guy look familiar? The last time I heard of him someone was saying that his nose was falling off. I still see a nose there so that must have been a nasty rumour.

  Michael Jackson has been accused of many bad things, most of which are true. But he has a few genuine problems as well. He may have bleached his face and had one too many surgeries but not all were deliberate. He was diagnosed with Lupus and Vitiligo in the early 80s, both of which make him sensitive to sunlight. The treatment he used for his Vitiligo further lightened his skin colour, making it necessary for him to use make up, which in turn makes him look even more bleached.

  As for the surgeries, he did break his nose in 1979 during a dance routine. That was the beginning of his nose and face surgeries. After the first nose operation, he developed breathing problems and had to go back for a second one, and a third, and a fourth. The third and fourth I’m not sure they were as a result of breathing problems though. I think he had gotten hooked to the idea of restructuring himself by then. He has also had work done on his lips, cheekbones and forehead.

  He has done lots of other weird things though. Doing bad things to little boys only he can explain.

  Kenya Airways – How Safe Is The Pride Of Africa?

  Kalonzo Musyoka – Drowning Already?

  
  

  
  

  
  

• Mombasa - Not Always A Clean Haven

  Posted: May 2, 2008, 7:21 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  For many people, the mental image of Mombasa is a place with cool hotels and sun kissed beaches. Well, we have plenty of those. And then some. Mombasa is a beautiful place to say the least.

  But then we also have hovels for pubs. Like one I came face to face with a few weeks ago when the boys from the office offered to buy me lunch where they eat. We shall call it Club X. I’d heard of it so much and was eager to visit.

  I did not exactly expect to be going to the Ritz Carlton but as soon as we got into the parking I was sure we had made a wrong turn. The half done un-kept structure could not possibly be the famous Club X! Something was not right. But curiously the parking lot was so full that even finding a spot was quite a task. All those people could not be wrong, I encouraged myself. Still I was skeptical about the cheap tables and plastic chairs.

  Well, it turned out we were in the right place alright. And whoever designed Club X should be prosecuted in a court of law. The first thing we came across on our way to the sitting area was the washrooms and with them the unmistakable pungent stench of ammonia. Next the butchery with the grotesque carcasses hanging upside down with just about every inch covered with flies. Then the bar and finally the sitting area. To think that part of those carcasses would soon be on a plate near me!

  By the time we identified a table and sat down, I was just about finished. But Club X was not done with me yet. The waitress delivered the knock out blow when she came to clean the table. Or rather to smear it with foul smelling diesel apparently to keep away the flies. It would have been easier on the soul if it worked but other than make us sit awkwardly with our hands to ourselves, it did not work on the flies. They were back attempting to land as soon as she was done wiping. No wonder all the patrons were waving their hands from side to side amid bites and sips. I unraveled that mystery when I found myself doing the same - they were chasing away the flies.

  To make my life easier, I decided to concentrate my energies on looking for something positive about the place. There had to be. The place was so packed! Ok, the place was well stocked. It was not one of those places you visit and there is either no cold coke or no warm this and that. It seemed everything everyone ordered was there. And considering the way it was packed, the waiters were very efficient. That’s all. Unless maybe the free drinking water they provided in greasy sticky jugs was a point in their favour.

  And the tap! Oh God the tap! There was no sink under the tap. Just a bucket to collect the dirty water as the patrons washed their hands. And some pieces of panga soap. Call me whatever but I could not touch it. I figured I was better off with the dirt from all the handshakes than with what I might collect from touching that tap. Hence I did not wash my hands. By the time the food hit the table, the plates piled on top of other plates, my appetite was mince. I managed to eat, but only the meat. Maybe because it came hot from the fire. Plus choma is always tasty. I was however unable to ignore some very unpleasant thoughts about the vegetable salad and so I did not touch it.

  Using the washroom was one stunt I was not going to pull. Seems nose powdering ladies are not welcome here – just hardcore drunkards who believe that a bathroom is a bathroom is a bathroom. As for me, at the first sign of a bathroom break, I was out of the club like a bat out of hell feeling like a million amoebic dysentery causing pathogens were crawling all over me. I grew up preparing and sometimes eating my meals in a smoke filled kitchen back in the village, but it was not dirty.

  I’ve obviously not been to the men’s washrooms but I got a candid description from someone who had. Let’s just say it’s not advisable to visit before eating – otherwise you won’t eat.

• The Chinese Tourist Dollars – Is Kenya Prepared For Them?

  Posted: May 2, 2008, 7:17 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  Revival of the tourist industry is in top gear after the blow the sector received from the post election violence that hit the country at the beginning of the year. It seems any paying tourist will do. Kalonzo Musyoka recently tried to woo the tourists from China, and with good reason. With a population of over 1.3 billion people, the Chinese tourist market could be very lucrative. Hitting it may mean hitting some big money. But a few home truths about our future guests is in order especially for hotel operators. It will go a long way in psychologically preparing for them the day they finally arrive.

  The Chinese have a unique approach to hygiene, etiquette, and other social graces. A contingent of Chinese guests will bring with it manners never before witnessed in our usually quiet tourist hotels. First of all they travel in large tour package groups. A large group of rude pushy bumpkins can be intimidating even to the most seasoned tour operators and hotel staff. With little regard for such graces as queues, it’s near pandemonium when they descend at the hotel lobby or other business premises like curio shops, all talking loudly at the same time and pointing fingers at attendants.

  Loud chattering aside, polishing their shoes with hotel towels and bed linen is not too big a deal to these people. Neither is spitting in hotel rooms and leaving the toilets un-flushed. They’re certainly not thieves but sometimes they feel entitled to take souvenirs like pillows out of the hotel room when they leave. And you know that feeling you get when you try to walk on a perfectly manicured flower bed? That it’s not right? They feel no such thing and will comfortably walk anywhere, all the while spitting on anything and everything. The real bad cases will not hesitate to hock up some disgusting loogey and spit it in the hotel lobby or on the pavements. Mercifully this breed is not too common. At least not as common as the regular spitters – not that the regulars are any pleasant either.

  It is said that the Chinese tourist packs enough instant noodles and dried fruits to last their whole stay. The only thing they will ever require from the hotel in terms of feeding is hot water in which to soak their meals. And you can’t charge guests for water now can you? So hotels don’t count on the thousands of shillings you make from the strange names on your menu. Just bed occupancy. But they will visit the dining room occasionally and display their characteristic slurping around of food. Don’t be surprised if they come in there in their pyjamas. Or stripped to the waist.

  And you may not want to admonish them for all these. Irk them enough and they could stage a noisy sit in at the hotel lobby and belt out their national anthem. That’s the Chinese tourist for you.

  China knows about this dubious reputation and they’re not taking it lying down. They have tried running campaigns to educate the population in etiquette and good public manners via state run news agency Xinhua. With a population as huge as they have, it may take some time for the results of this campaign to be seen.

• How Well Can You Lie?

  Posted: April 28, 2008, 6:31 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  Dogs are eating a lot of homework these days and companies have suddenly started to hold their meetings mostly after midnight. And the lipstick smudge on your guy’s shirt, he was waiting in the queue at the bank and a lady who was standing beside him tripped on her stilettos and fell. He was helping her get back on her feet when her freshly painted lips landed so squarely on his left shoulder.

  White lies, or Terminological Inexactitudes as some may call them are a necessary tool for social survival. That’s why you told that guy you’d call him and yet you knew only too well that you would not. That’s the same reason why someone told that lady she’s nice and shapely while even she knows that the truth is the opposite. The convenience of telling a lie to escape bad situations is just too tempting and people are using that to the maximum. And what’s more, we get better at lying as we age. How well an individual can lie depends on his/her imagination and ingenuity and some people have made it a fine art.

  Lying is obviously no small deal. Scientists are spending more and more time and money inventing and perfecting lie detector machines to analyze pupil dilation, eye movements, voice pitch change and blood pressure among other things. But all these are not helping the layman much. We can’t hook our friends, spouses and children to lie detector machines every time we talk to them. But we can match wits with the finest lie detector machines if we try. There are many human ways of knowing when someone is playing little games on you.

  There are the obvious signs like suddenly developing an itch on the chin, placing the hand on the mouth while talking, being evasive, being over emphatic and going on the defensive. The liar will tend to overact, knit his/her brows and be overly animated. Or if he/she is holding onto something like a door knob or phone, they will hold it so tight the knuckles turn white. Maybe that’s why my pastor grabs the podium so hard when he’s telling the congregation how much more money the new church will require to be completed. Or why the public address system we contributed money for months ago is not yet here.

  These methods are not fool proof though. There are people who are just naturally nervous, fidgety and shifty regardless of whether they’re speaking the truth or lying.

  Still there are some tough cookies who will deliberately look at you in the eye and drop a white one without even flinching. Some criminals have even been known to lie right through the lie detector machines. It seems lying, like any other art can be perfected.

• Cosmetic Surgery Enthusiast Jocelyn Wildenstein Before And After

  Posted: April 25, 2008, 12:53 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  Cosmetic Surgery enthusiast Jocelyne Wildenstein as she looked before surgery. She also has a few tips for anyone wishing to get a nip here and a tuck there.

• Extreme Makeover - Beauty The Jocelyn Wildenstein Style

  Posted: April 21, 2008, 12:13 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  As we count Kenya’s land owners, meet feline beauty extraordinaire Jocelyn Wildenstein who together with her former Billionaire husband Alec Wildenstein owned and managed the expansive 67,000 acre Ol Jogi ranch in Laikipia before they were divorced in 2000. She and Alec refined the ranch by building 120 miles of road, 55 artificial lakes, a swimming pool with rocks and waterfalls, a golf course, a racetrack, and a tennis court among others - all maintained by an army of 366 servants.

  Land issues aside, the 1940 born Jocelyn is a skilled hunter and a trained pilot. Alec Wildenstein, who recently died of Cancer, loved jungle cats more than anything else in the world and feeling a little ignored, Jocelyn began to get somewhat jealous. Aside from decorating all their houses in cat skins and prints, she approached a renowned plastic surgeon with a rather unusual request. She wanted to be transformed into one of the giant cats that her then husband loved so much. She chose to have her pigment darkened and her eyes reconstructed and pulled back for that cat-like look. After countless surgeries, numerous facelifts and silicone injections, her skin was stretched so tightly over her face that she could scarcely blink, and her lips were so stuffed with collagen they looked and felt like rubber. The original Jocelyn disappeared and The Queen of the Jungle was born. She embarked on all these surgeries at 50yrs of age and spent in excess of US$4 Million over the years, bankrolled by her now late husband Alec. It is said that her surgeon has since lost several prospective clients due to her looks. At one time clients scampered out of the surgeon's waiting room when she walked in.

  What Jocelyn may not have realized as she was formulating her audacious plan was that her husband loved cats as cats and not as a wife. The first time he saw his new wife he screamed. He later admitted during divorce proceedings that he could not recognize her up close. Who could blame him? He ran straight into the arms of a 19 year old Russian Model. He blamed the affair on his wife’s startling new look. That was just an excuse but then again maybe he was genuinely freaked out by her looks.

  Beauty indeed lies in the eyes of the beholder. Jocelyn soon found love again, her new face notwithstanding.

• A Giraffe And A Blessing In Your In-box

  Posted: April 16, 2008, 1:20 am by Wanjiku Unlimited

  We’ve all seen them. Chinese mantras, religious novenas, endless power-point presentations and inspirational e-mails that threaten dire consequences if you don’t forward to friends. Some of these take ages to download. The instructions usually are clear – send to people you care about, including the sender. The idea is to form a long chain of friends and so if you’re not in any chain then you know you’re a cold heartless newt with no friends in the whole wide world.

  When they’re not threatening some calamity on you within 96 hours, they’re taking you on guilt trips. How do you live with yourself, going on with your life as usual while countless children are suffering in Cambodia? You will always know these ones from the headings. “If you don’t forward this you have no heart”. “If you can’t forward then at least don’t delete”. They will have gory pictures of car accidents and fellow humans ravaged by the effects of hunger, war and disease. To the sick and the suffering I speak for many when I say we are sorry. We envision your suffering. We truly are sympathetic and we pray for God to deliver his people. But we shall not pray under duress! With apologies to my God fearing brothers and sisters, let me tear into those religious ones. For one the God you seek to promote is not happy with you for jamming cyber space, not to mention people’s in-boxes. There’s time for everything and most people send and receive E-mails in the morning. The religious mails will usually ask for a prayer. Yet even the staunchest of you do not get down on your knees first thing Monday morning to intervene for the world. So please don’t make us feel guilty for not doing so.

  Others will test your IQ with a series of silly questions at the end of which they will declare in sugar coated words that you’re not very clever after all. For example how do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator?

  Personally I appreciate a good joke once in a while but many people hate getting junk e-mails. No matter how funny, cute or inspiring an e-mail might be, some people don't like having an in-box littered with jokes and hoaxes. Sending e-mail junk to people who haven't requested it can cause loss of friendship, profane e-mail responses, and ostracism. Generally, it annoys the hell out of people. So think a minute or two before clicking that send button – and especially if you’re sending to a company address. For those who don’t like these mails, you can write a polite e-mail and ask your friends to keep the cute fluffy puppies to themselves. Of course you run the risk of having your address completely purged from their address books. For those who send them, make sure the person you’re sending to will appreciate your mail.

  The giraffe. You open the fridge, put in the giraffe and close the door. I told you they’re silly!

• The Forgotten Frontier That Is Northern Kenya

  Posted: April 16, 2008, 1:10 am by Wanjiku Unlimited

  In a country where subsequent governments alienate whole provinces for over 4 decades and still get away with it, it’s good that someone came up with the idea of a Ministry for Northern Kenya and other Arid Areas. These are arguably the most neglected in the country and the creation of a ministry for them at least shows that the leadership appreciates the need for some speedy reversal of this unfortunate situation.

  But I don’t believe a government ministry is what the doctor ordered for Northern Kenya and other arid areas. If we look at it in terms of ministries then they should all go and camp there. For one a lot of Education is required to empower the locals to actively participate in the development of their own. There’s need for water technology and water harvesting for domestic and irrigation purposes, livestock management through building of abattoirs, introduction of farming of fruits, vegetables, medicinal and horticultural crops – there’s just too much. Maybe Najib Balala’s next challenge should be to have more tourists there in future if at all there are any now. And who knows the areas could produce some athletes and soccer stars if someone looked hard enough?

  In short arid areas, as do many others in the country, have great potential and need special attention from nearly all the current ministries except the likes of Nairobi Metropolitan Development and East African Community among others. In any case, the current ministries are just a political arrangement that will mostly operate on a national level.

  In my view a development body would fit the bill better. Like the Lake Basin Development Authority or Coast Development Authority. The authority can be funded by development partners without being bogged down by backward government bureaucracy and long procurement procedures. Of course the state also has a major role to play in additional funding and generally enabling the smooth running of the authority by ensuring security and providing incentives such as tax exemption on equipment. The authority should have a clear mandate and be able to approach and receive special attention from all ministers in government including the Prime Minister who promised a Livestock Insurance Policy during his campaigns.

  This is not a call for Majimbo but these areas have a lot of sharp minds and by all means they should be left to manage such a body should it be formed. They’re very familiar with their problems and they know their terrain well. And since they grew up there, they’ll spend more time working other than whining about the tough climatic conditions.

• Does Kenya Really Need Naomi Campbell?

  Posted: April 14, 2008, 4:23 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  Kenya has still got many friends and one great one is supermodel Naomi Campbell – the queen of rage who recently defied travel advisories in her country to come for her regular visit to Kenya. She has some good plans for the idyllic Kenyan Coastal Town that is Malindi. A Multibillion Dollar Resort, A Drug Rehabilitation Center and Promotion of Arts and Crafts to uplift the local youth - among other things.

  We need all the good words and endorsements we can get especially for the tourism industry but not from the likes of Naomi. The girl is a convicted criminal for Pete’s sake! She has an assault rap sheet rivaling that of Lucy Kibaki. Infact Lucy pales in comparison because she does not spit on people. And she does not threaten to throw them out of moving cars. Naomi’s chronic abusive and violent conduct is mostly directed, but not restricted to her employees. Obviously the anger management course she was sentenced to in 2007 did not work. Her latest weapon of choice - other than branding policemen at the Heathrow Airport bloody fools and assholes - is Saliva. Who still spits on people? Her weird behavior has been attributed to lingering resentment towards her father for abandoning her as a child. Come on Naomi, this at 38 years of age?

  The crazed and almost psychotic Naomi faces up to six months in jail if she is convicted of assaulting a police officer. I say she needs the time in jail ASAP. That will the best Anger Management Class for her.

• The Comedy Show That Is Idols East Africa 2008

  Posted: April 10, 2008, 4:13 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  The Idols East Africa talent search show is in town – and what a show it is! It should have been dubbed the Stand Up Comedy Show. The phrase ‘all walks of life’ takes on a whole new meaning in IEA. They all gave it a shot, the good the bad and the downright wacky. And they all deserve Kudos for trying.
  

  There were contestants and contestants. And then there was Samuel Njuguna. The guy walked in roofed in a long weird blond wig which badly needed some brushing. Says he sings in soprano and the wig would give him the much needed psychological boost to perform better. I wonder whether he carried it from home and wore it at the last minute, or he wore it at home and came to KICC looking like that.

  Zadok was the undisputed king of Bravado. He breezed in and declared that he’s already a star. ‘yeah, me I’m already a star you know, I’m already a star’. He soon learned that too much attitude does not an idol make. He was kicked out by an all judge unanimous vote - just three words into his song. He was that bad.

  Confidence oozing Maureen Otieno must have thought it was an ODM colour co-ordination show. She came in wearing orange shoes, orange belt, orange top and huge orange earrings. And some dark jeans. You’d be forgiven if you mistook her for an ODM youth-winger. For all her confidence she could not sing. But she had some sexy dance moves.

  Top prize for the wackiest goes to one Kevin Munyi. He came in with an attitude straight from hell and got straight into the business of mocking the judges. Dude is in a singing audition yet he says he can’t sing! His mother is depressed and his father is broke. He was in the competition to change the world. Crazy chap. But behind all that attitude lies a very good guitar player. He strummed a fluent melody with the guitar placed behind his head. Kevin struck me as a disturbed young man who may need some psychological evaluation.

  It’s sad that nearly all contestants in Nairobi performed so dismally. I believe many would have stood a better chance singing songs closer home. Not the likes of Manyake, Nyundo Yangu and I’m not sober, but surely there is a lot of good Kenyan Music to choose from? Eric Wainaina for example? Nyota Ndogo? Susan Owiyo? Achieng Obura? The youngsters mostly chose music from performers like Chris Brown, Alicia Keys, West Life and the train wreck that is Britney Spears. The only one who tried to get African sang some sort of traditional song which was an equally bad idea.

  The IEA vibrato and falsetto judges are all guilty of copying to the very last full stop American Idol’s Simon Cowel, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson. In the AI set up Randy is the good old doug who gives the real picture, Paula is the sweet mama with compliments for everyone and anyone but mostly the cute boys, Simon is the brutally honest one who by the way happens to give some very concrete advise to those who care to listen. Angela Angwenyi and TK are not copying too badly but Scar is by far the worst copy cat. Ok he plays the Simon Cowel nasty judge role but that is no excuse for him to sit there and look so thoroughly bored - like someone forced him to be in the show. He forgets that Simon, as mean as he is, actually says something. Simon has a real eye for talent and predicts winners rather successfully. For example he predicted Fantasia Barrino’s win very early in the Season 3 competition.

  He has predicted a win for 17 year old cutie pie David Archuleta. I couldn’t agree with him more. That boy is a sure winner.

• Ethnic Balancing In The Workplace

  Posted: April 10, 2008, 4:11 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  A Kenyan complained in the Daily Nation recently that out of 421 short-listed applicants at the State Law Office, 124 (30%) were from the same community. We may not expect every office to accommodate every tribe but the arithmetic in this case is rather off kilter. If the 70% balance is to be shared by even a half of the other tribes, do the arithmetic and you’ll know why Kenyans are so bitter with one another. This situation is duplicated in many other instances. In the recent clandestine police recruitment that was later nullified, 80% of those accepted were from just 4 regions. Kenyans have no problem being from different tribes. They have a problem with inequality and such anomalies must be redressed if we are expected to live together as one happy family.

  What Kenya needs is not war cries and machetes but civilized mechanisms to fight the tribalism monster. One idea would be the formation of a commission mandated to oversee balanced ethnic, age and gender diversity in employment, both in the public and private sectors. Career progression could also be thrown in the mix to curb discriminative promotions. The commission would have to be well legislated with a strong constitution, otherwise some elites might use it as an avenue to enrich themselves and incubate worse bitterness among wananchi. With a head office plus regional offices country wide, and a strong database, it should periodically monitor recruitment and dismissals. At any one time it should be able to avail to Kenyans a general report on the ethnic, age and gender balancing of workers in organizations like KRA, Treasury or Local Government for example. Needless to say, the commission must itself be a representative of all the ethnic groups in the country and be completely autonomous (free from politicians and other interested groups). It should also have some powers to name and shame as well as impose fines on employers who do not tow the line.

  The commission would obviously have to take things gradually, starting with government and other public offices, and spreading to the private sector in the course of time. With time, it should have all major and not so major organizations in it’s database with the support of the law so that it remains in force even with change of governments. I’m not by any means suggesting firing and replacing of workers en-masse but I see no reason why it’s first job should not be to oversee a thorough audit of the ministries and then a balanced inter-ministerial reshuffling. There are some government offices where everyone is considered Tribe X and addressed in language X until proven otherwise.

  It’s a behemoth task and a logistical nightmare, and I’ll be the first to admit that such a feat is not easy, but what is? A repeat of the recent fighting in future, albeit worse? Kenya does not lack for brilliant men and women who can run an organization of this kind. We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations. Kenya can choose either to use the opportunity to mend herself or bury her head in the sand and let things smooth themselves out. They’ve been smoothing themselves out since independence and see where we landed.

  The benefits of such a move will obviously not be immediately felt. Rather we’ll be laying good groundwork for our future generations.

  The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.

• Kenya's Natural Born Aeronautical Engineer

  Posted: April 10, 2008, 4:09 pm by Wanjiku Unlimited

  The story of Morris Tito Gachamba is fascinating and sad in equal measure. Born 75 years ago in Nyeri, he dropped out of school in Standard 3 because he could not cope with mathematics. That notwithstanding, Tito has attempted many engineering feats, the most outstanding being making his own airplane which he flew for 5 minutes before it crashed into a tree injuring him. For all his troubles, during Kenyatta’s rule he earned himself a stint in prison for trespassing Kenyan airspace, endangering his life and endangering the lives of others. Nobody saw the gold that lay in his contraption. That did not kill his dream though. He has since tried other engineering feats and his current dream is to make a glider. He has also made a tractor which he currently hires out to farmers in his village. Tito is not a rich man by any standards.
  

  The sad bit is that Tito’s is a classic case of wasted talent. In different circumstances, the likes of Tito could have propelled Kenya into the world of aviation firsts. Or he could be relaxing in Seattle having just retired from Boeing. How much more of Kenyan talent is going to waste in the villages? How many Chinkororos and snuff sniffing Mungiki youths for example would have had a better life other than waiting for the whims of politicians? A lanky model can be spotted grazing cattle in the plains of Samburu and propelled to super stardom, but a much better approach for talents such as engineering would be a deliberate effort to look for them.
  

  So Tusker Project Fame is looking for talented musicians, and somebody discovered Dennis Oliech. School Science Congresses have been around for as long as I can remember and are held year in year out. One would think the purpose of these congresses is to identify young Science talent for nurturing. But not in Kenya. Here, the kids, brilliant ideas and all, are sent back to school with a certificate or trophy to continue learning the History of Guatemala. And that is before computer errors mess up their KCSE results.
  

  Do engineering companies send representatives to these Science Congresses? I think they should. Right down to the zonal level – up till the nationals. In fact they should form part of the adjudicating panel. They’re best placed to identify talent in the engineering field. They would know better which projects can be of commercial value so as to further patent and commercialize these innovati