Items by Taabu

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• PDM Stands for Progressivism, Nothing Else

  Posted: March 8, 2010, 8:00 pm by Taabu

  ODM has been checkmated big time. The orange party has been brutally reminded that there is no monopoly to permutation of letters. Give it to PDM for scoring big by leaping to P from O in the alphabetical ranking. Only DM remains a constant.
  
  What is more, PDM singularly stands for PROGRESSIVISM. You cannot beat that using any linguistic pretense. After grand coalition come grand ideas. Learning from the master/s and even taking it a notch higher, PDM is collating all the hitherto PNU big shots.
  
  With PROGRESSIVISM comes the mantra of equitable distribution of wealth. Kenya couldn't have asked for a sure cure to ethnic tension. It PDM you have tried and tested political hands teaming with both young and old.
  
  The era of briefcase political parties is surely gone. Soon we Kenya will be an African case study with only two or three strong parties competing for power thanks to PDM.
  
  And let you forget, PDM has REINVENTED our own brand of ANC where like-minded parties of all shapes and shades share the common ideology of PROGRESSIVISM politically, economically and socially.
  
  In PDM we have arrived at the political nirvana and there is no turning back. The naysayers will be left at the dock as we sail deep into political doldrums.
  
  Why start with a vowel if a consonant can do the job even better? Welcome to murky and Micky Mouse Kenyan politics.Kumekucha

  
  

• Juicy Esther Adongo Timberlake (EAT)

  Posted: March 6, 2010, 8:00 pm by Taabu

  
  
  Eat and lets eat. It is a free world and let people eat and get eaten generously. The burden of modern freedom and civilization.
  
  And then the killer punch. You can imagine if Esther's parents were also to file a counter suit demanding compensation for all the diapers, weetabixes and lollipops. Maybe Esther would counter that she is a byproduct of her parents' emotional bliss.
  
  The Arungas financed a law degree that has come back to haunt them. The resulting legal scoundrel can afford to wed in prison/remand oblivious of the fact that is not permissible under Kenyan laws.
  
  Whatever HELL(on) has brought together no parent must try/dream to put asunder. Consenting adults have all the rights to indulge and parents must learn to know when to let go.
  
  Esther has set a precedence. Soon many will be suing their parents for forcing alien names and beliefs (religion) on them. Never joke with YouTube generation.Kumekucha

  
  

• Polls: Raila and Ruto Joined at Fractured Hip

  Posted: February 26, 2010, 6:00 pm by Taabu

  Do you want to top the polls? Well, just pay up and have your imaginary results announced by credible lips for hire. How can ODM still top the polls as the most popular party given the hemorrhage from the recent valentine political bloodbath?
  
  These pollsters must be either from outer planet of just plain guns for hire. How else do you explain their cheeky rating that disrespectfully undermines both the president and thee VP as the least committed to fighting corruption? It is such a cheap paradox to rank the CEO so low with 14% fire to fight graft while his executive authority just saw off 6 PSs last week.
  
  Even more insulting to the collective intelligence of most Kenyans is the Strategic poll disparaging the UNTAINTED VP as only scoring 5% in the war on sleaze. It couldn't have been worse. Now it appears after the daily newspapers, polling bodies are firmly in the pocket of politicians.
  
  There is no way ODM can claim 51% popularity when the poisoned rose it was generously served last valentine has not even withered. Somebody is playing smart by paying Strategic and then very soon it will the quarter report from ex-Steadman. Well, Kenyans won't be fooled any more.
  
  The pollsters can only lie to themselves. We are lucky to have a no nonsense president who promised to tackle corruption and after 2000 days incubation his prescription can only be lethal to the vice. All else is smartly packaged pretence at motion with no commensurate movement nor commitment to slay the dragon.Kumekucha

  
  

• No Meeting: Kibaki Call Raila, ODM's Bluff

  Posted: February 21, 2010, 6:00 pm by Taabu

  Peddling the word crisis does not necessary create an image of one. And now those who have been carelessly and disrespectfully bandying words at Kibaki have found their match. Kibaki the shrewd politician has come out with all guns blazing and there is no place to hide. ODM and its hirelings are toasted.
  
  First the President has categorically made clear it there is no CRISIS, real or imagined. All Kenyans must know who is in charge and make no mistake about it. Kibaki has reminded Kenyans once more of his signature tune and declaration that "corruption will now cease to be a way of life in Kenya". That tempo was set in 2002 and after more than 2000 days, the gestation period is over. Heads will and must roll now.
  
  Make no mistake, Kibaki is held hostage by no corruption networks/sharks. For those doubting Kibaki's brand new resolve to eradicate corruption once and for all are yet to come to grip with his determination to clean Kenya and bequeath her new constitution as the template for his LEGACY. There is no bigger scandal than Anglo Leasing and Kibaki learnt his lessons hard and painful.
  
  Woe unto those who said that rhetoric about corruption and good governance does not make an entertaining national circus. Well, hear and read for yourself from the horse's mouth lest you loose the gist and substance in translation:
  
  "Dear Kenyans, first and foremost be reminded of the basics and know that I was duly elected (the PORK) and then signed NARA on behalf for GorKi.
  
  I want to take this opportunity to outrightly dismiss careless and disrespectful suggestions that I have been SLEEPING and cannot CO-ORDINATE AND SUPERVISE affairs of state, leaving HOME AFFAIRS aside.
  
  My cabinet has become even stronger. We now don’t tolerate GRAFT - anybody stealing from the citizens children freely will be dealt IMPUNITY, I will came out strongly to terminally rectify any attempt before it gets out of hand. My Government will move swiftly with bold, decisive and transparent steps to avoid a crisis as has been demonstrated recently.
  
  We have opened our MARKETS and will continue to give away LABOUR, your thirst for work will be taken care off. First as a thank you to our partners doubling THE DOLE during this last EL NINO hunger compared to the normal seasonal HUNGER periods that we live with every year and second for the ROADS we receive that opens further our markets and RESOURCES to our brothers in the west and at an accelerating pace to the new brothers from the EAST.
  
  Now you can see our new brothers in the deepest part of our former agricultural sacred lands prospecting for minerals. We are planning to open Mandarin classes in almost all villages so that it could help YOU SERVE them better.
  
  Transportation is on the MEND, the railway will be soon moving again and be back ON THE TRACK after our very own HARD WORKING Kenyans took possession of it from the government, cleaned it of its land, “lazy employees” and other assets which it could not manage. They will be selling it back to wanainchi having been CLEANED through our thriving STOCK MARKET. We will now pick up the pace of PRIVATISATION as a means of RELIEVING wanainchi their burdens.
  
  To the EDUCATED fleeing in droves to use their potential in the WEST, there are some who claim CORRUPTION AND NEPOTISM have REPLACED RELIGION in my Government, I Emilio can assure you those are things of my PAST, and as I promised when I was sworn in -”serikali ya ufisadi" will continue to provide the LEADERSHIP YOU HAVE BEEN USED TO.
  
  My Government is even getting stronger as you see new members joining we strive to continue changing Kenya to our image even after I pass the torch of state to our very enthusiastic NEW YOUTHFUL LEADERSHIP.
  
  With those few words let’s all stand up and join hands together singing kazi iendelee to the 65% unemployed. Thank you."Kumekucha

  
  

• Kibaki Leads from in Front, Declares No Crisis

  Posted: February 19, 2010, 7:00 am by Taabu

  Annan ni nani? Well, there must be ANNANMAGIC, just mention Kofi's name and things start moving or so it seems. Now this mongrel called dialogue has been invited to the top table on Sunday.
  
  While all Kenyans get consumed with cheap politics, HE Kibaki has reminded those who care to listen that THERE IS NO CRISIS. President Kibaki has reminded all and sundry that his priorities remain fighting corruption (since 2003) expanding programmes to create jobs for the youth (since 2003) and singular focus to address the needs and improve the welfare of all Kenyans.
  
  Above all else Kibaki has staked his glittering legacy on a new constitution. What more can you ask of a selfless leader? Speak of leading from in front and my example and that is Kibaki for you.Kumekucha

  
  

• Cabinet Meeting Off as Political Heat Soars

  Posted: February 17, 2010, 6:00 pm by Taabu

  
  
  Updates: PC-PS transition
  Meanwhile the predictable PC/DC-PS transition here we come: 75% of the new acting PS are ex-provincial administrators: Mondoh, Ndolo and Mr Kiritu Wamae. Smell a rat?
  
  =========================================
  
  
  Liver juggling must be such a difficult yet basic task! If somobody shadow boxing or seeing double? Well, a mirage is an apparent oasis to the thirsty.
  
  Bring the heat on. NA BADO.Kumekucha

  
  

• Raila Checkmated, Pressure Eases Off Ongeri

  Posted: February 14, 2010, 12:30 am by Taabu

  Update
  You are suspended, oh well, you are reinstated or is it, wait a minute! Who is calling who's bluff here? Watch out when you steal thunder lest you get struck by the same.
  
  The hitherto docile by choice and design has been smoked out and is now hyper active. Somebody's face has been left plastered in egg york of sleaze.
  
  What a great Valentine gift for Kenyans. Reg rose of another blossoming weed? Take your pick.
  
  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
  Intrigue is a word used and abused in equal measure. This time last week it was Raila straddling the higher moral ground admonishing Education Minister Ongeri in public to resign. Come Tuesday and the bombshell that is PWC audit report of teh maize scandal was dropped right at his feet.
  
  Checkmate! What a smart timing to neuter Agwambo. But his hitherto zeal to mount the high moral must have been shaken to the core. PWC's report laid culpability right inside Raila's nest by naming his PS and top aide. His answer on Wednesday to a press which had smelt blood was both half-hearted and unconvincing. From nobody is sacred to defending 'innocent' civil servants. So where do you draw the line?
  
  Now we know Tinga had to salvage what was left of his name and integrity by giving his two top subordinates ultimatum to step aside latest Saturday to allow speedy and impartial investigation. And step a side Ishahakia and Karoli did. So what next for the prime minister?
  
  Well, at least his move has forced the president to act albeit belatedly in ordering PS education and his comrades in graft to step aside too. Call it security in number if you wish but at least the ball left the court flying even if on extra time. Ogneri's fightback would have sounded bell to the PM, or didn't gongs go off?
  
  You cannot fail to see the gerrymandering behind the calculated procrastination. Either two against two made sense to act or this was just another attempt to create an impression of motion without commensurate movement. Just read in between thelines and see the full plot. Raila received the PWC on December 22 and his adversaries were waiting for the ripe time to hit hard where it hurts most. And he inadvertently supplied a sturdy and reliable rope.
  
  Kenyans will read what they want in all the political heat but the truth remains, corruption is deep-rooted in our system and there is political will to even pretend to root it out.Kumekucha

  
  

• Mandela: 20 Years on vs Gaddafi's 40 Years

  Posted: February 11, 2010, 12:00 pm by Taabu

  How time flies? Twenty years ago today Nelson Mandela walked out of prison a free man to lead South Africa into a vibrant democracy. And just 15 years since he left South Africa is speedily joining the rest of Africa in free fall and poor leadership.
  So what went wrong after Mandela?
  
  Millions of South Africans will readily point a finger to Mbeki, Mandela’s successor, the embodiment of their failure. Well, it is cheap to point fingers and even the populist JZ is coming to grips with reality that the presidency is no license to plant wild oats with daughters of all your comrades.
  
  The steady fall of South Africa as a template for Africa’s renaissance leaves plenty of questions than it answers. Or may be Mandela knew something we did not by being the anti-thesis of African strong men when he consciously and deliberately relinquished power to Mbeki. Better still, Madiba saw it coming and chickened out to spruce his saintly name.
  
  
  The strong headed Mbeki may have blighted Mandela’s legacy, but the randy Zuma is taking the cultural joke too far by taking spitting this auspicious anniversary with his scheduled state of the nation address. Mandela thrived and lived on optimism, Zuma prides in abusing that virtue.
  
  May be all an African country needs is a Gaddafi and not Mandela. Just look at how generous and prosperous Libya is and the determination of its leader over the last 40 years to stand up for Africa. Forget the betrayal he suffered in Ethiopia at the hand off other presidents last week.
  
  Gaddafi Betrayed
  How can they be so ungrateful these African leaders? After benefiting from Libya's generosity they dare refuse to grant leader Gaddafi another term as AU chair. With that single act of selfishness the leaders have snatched the authority and audacity with which Gaddafi has been taking on the mighty on our behalf.
  
  True to his King of Kings title, Gaddafoi did not leave the arena without a fight. During a midnight press conference, he took no hostages and declared that his eyes are now trained on leading the Arab League.
  
  Gaddafi only wanted what he invested in after financing the broke AU for years. But the African leaders had other ideas after enjoying his generous inducements. And Gaddafi pulled no stops to remind them that AU without him is dead and he regretted having served such a thankless lot.
  
  The African continent remain the poor with Gaddafi's exit. This is one Pan-Africanist whose passion and dedication to see through US of Africa is unparalleled. What is more, he should know better now that he is rightfully the longest serving president in the whole world.
  
  Africa has lost heavily by refusing to extend Gaddafi's term. His vision to empower the continent's village and tribal elders was not only unique but also historic. Together with Venezuela's Hugo Chavez, Gaddafi is the face of modern leadership.
  
  Look at Libya and the business expansion from Tripoli right at the heart of Nairobi. Former Grand Regency and Oilibya are case studies of brother helping a brother in need.
  
  No wonder Gaddafi wasted no time to remind us of the true leaders of yore like Said Bare and Mobutu Seseseko. Somali and Zaire have knows no peace since the death of these gallant sons of Africa. Moi couldn't have agreed more.
  
  Africa would be better advised to model their future around the realistic ethos of Gadaffi and stop living the utopian Mandela dream.Kumekucha

  
  

• Raila: Kenya’s Most Loved, Loathed Politician

  Posted: February 9, 2010, 1:00 pm by Taabu

  By Philip and Anon
  Yes you read it right, RAILA! See, reading that name has already sent your fingers itching to hit the keyboard with expletives or praise even before reading the first sentence.
  
  Call it blasphemy if you wish but please decipher the figurative speech. Raila is to Kenyan politics what Jesus is to Christian churches - divisive and/or uniting. Granted, Raila is synonymous with our politics for the last many years and no discussion on Kenyan politics is complete without numerous references to the PM, both good and bad.
  
  The late VP Michael Kijana Wamalwa aptly captured it by politically categorizing Kenyans either as Railamaniacs or Railaphobics.
  
  The next 30 months before the next general election in 2012 will witness more political heat with Raila either stroking it or getting consumed by the same flames. Picture this, imagine the furnace with a sitting president and a former one leading the onslaught on Raila with a supporting cast of the present VP, Finance and Agriculture Ministers.
  
  If an alien were to land on earth and log here onto Kumekucha, they would be left wondering who is this man called Raila? So who is Raila? Is he a demi-god? A witchcraft practitioner? A dictator? Is he an Obama in the making? Is he a nationalist? Is he a Hitler in Mandela's skin. Surely who is this man called RAILA?
  
  Well, Raila may as well be all those things listed above and more.
  
  Is he a demi-god ? Yes to all the intelligent poor kids who don’t have access to education when money is being stolen and the Mafioso’s kids are sent abroad and some are tutored privately with the stolen money. They just want a decent shot at life like everybody else.
  
  Does he use witchcraft? Yes to those that is used to impunity and fighting feverishly to preserve that evil because they never thought the spotlight will ever shine on them. It’s perplexing to them that things can change so fast.
  
  Is he an Obama in the making? That is yet to be seen, but HOPE you can bet your last Kenyan coin that he gives thousands, if not millions of down trodden Kenyans.
  
  Is he a dictator? Yes, to those who think they own Kenya and never thought things would be different, Dictating on behalf of Kenyans, enough is enough of empty talk and commissions whose reports don’t see the light of day. Enough is enough of using poor Kenyans to protect personal interest and crying wolf and ”dictatorship" when your dirty laundry is exposed for all to see.
  
  Is he a nationalist? Flash back to "Not yet Uhuru" to mainstreaming Majimbo today. The name Odinga is synonymous to National struggle.
  
  Is he a Hitler in Mandela's skin? If we need a “Hitler” so that national resources can be distributed to the most deserving and will benefit from it, nipe Nyundo anytime. It is high time we have a "Hitler" to break the backs of all these "locally-born foreigners" who have been suffocating wenye inchi with smoke screens while stealing resources and murdering poor people who dare to protest.
  
  He is all of the above and he does them with finesse - hardball or softball - take your pick. Yes, Raila is the enigma of Kenyan politics. Bring them on.Kumekucha

  
  

• Mwakwere Dismissed, Bring Back Michuki

  Posted: February 6, 2010, 11:00 am by Taabu

  Mwakwere's loss of his parliamentary seat via petition could be a blessing in disguise for Kenya. Now Kibaki can bring back Michuki to head the Transport ministry and restore sanity.
  
  At least the popular demand to have Michuki back at transport has less political fallout than the heat at education. But again, Kibaki is one ruler immune to public wishes, or is he?
  
  But the petition's success has once again exposed the rot that was ECK. But again they both rigged and so the whole lot should be illegitimate. This election petition thing needs to be urgently addressed since almost 1000 days after polls is no justice at all.
  
  Which leaves you asking weather losers should be made to pay back what they earned while on the job. Democracy must be so expensive.Kumekucha

  
  

• Press Must Let Muhoho Modernize Airports

  Posted: February 3, 2010, 8:00 pm by Taabu

  What is all these obsession with age? The media is all over crucifying Muhoho oblivious of the fact that fellow octogenarians PSs Mutahi and Nyoike are doing just fine. Grey hair if synonymous with wisdom alloyed with the right genes.
  
  Kenyans never cease to amaze. Their penchant to witch hunt the really industrious and competent is legendary. Now the press wants to hound CEO Muhoho out of office before his term expires. What a disgrace to pay somebody who has turned the hitherto sleeping KAA into a profitable institution.
  
  The press must give the KAA board the freedom to appoint the MD after the President did his constitutional part in appointing ex-Runyenjes MP Wambora chairman. Muhoho is no ordinary Joe, just ask Engineer Erastus Mwongera who thought he had the gravitas to take him head on.
  
  True, Muhoho has served two mandatory terms plus a 12-month extension but he must be allowed to manage his succession given the capital investment KAA has initiated. You only entrust such heavy investment to upstarts at the nation's collective peril. The astute economist in the President cannot and won't allow that to happen.
  
  Reign of octogenarians
  Father Muhoho may be 72 years only but he is less than 30,000 days old. What is more, his short third term has witnessed phenomenon growth with Kisumu Airport destined to be upgraded to international status in addition to constructing Isiolo Airport to decongest JKIA and open up northern Kenya for prosperity.
  
  We owe it to Muhoho that he helped whisk the notorious Artur brothers out of our borders. What more do we need from such a person with a passion to preserve national security? All the flack directed at him can only be traced to his his filial and royal relationship with President Kibaki. Leaves you asking whether an ex-priest cannot remain faithful to his flock?
  
  The press better direct their tirades elsewhere instead of detracting Mzee Muhoho from his pet projects that will see JKIA join the league of world's leading Airports.
  
  For Pete's sake, we don't eat politics. The press must desist from attacking the president via proxy. Washindwe!Kumekucha

  
  

• Mariga's Premier League Star Dimmed

  Posted: February 2, 2010, 10:00 am by Taabu

  
  Update 2: Raila in the mix
  The PM has announced that he successfully pushed for Mariga's case but unfortunately he secured the work permit after the transfer deadline. If that is true then Mariga can join an English Premier League club in the next transfer window this summer. But with a four-year deal at San Siro under the tutelage of the special one, Mariga may have bagged more than he prayed for.
  
  Raila stated he spent more than 200 minutes on phone talking to UK PM Gordon Brown's office, the Africa Office, office of Culture and Sports, the Home office, the FA president Lord Treisman and to Mariga himself. Was he trying to rig or just doing what he had to do? Well, out there rules are rules and they are bent for nobody no matter your social standing.
  
  ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
  Update 1
  And Mariga has landed at Inter Milan in the capable hands of the special one, Jose Mourinho. Just when the English Premier League thought they have done him in by denying him work permit to play for Manchester City, Mariga has landed even a bigger trophy guaranteeing him Champions League in two weeks time. Now being Eto's teammate must be living the dream. Well, fate and fortune only smiles on the face of the deserving. Go Mariga go, you have hit the ceiling of Kenyan football history.
  
  +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
  
  Kenya's McDonald Mariga has been denied work permit to play for Manchester City in the Premier League. While Mariga passed FA's criteria for appearing in 75% of internationals in the last two years (with his 24 caps for Kenya), his work permit application was rejected because Kenya is ranked 98th in Fifa's world rankings, outside the top 70 nations.
  
  Manchester City's management have failed in their appeal to have the verdict overturned about the 22-year-old. The Kenyan press must have celebrated too early even before the goal hit the net. Now you can imagine the family's heartache after such irresponsible exposure.
  
  Granted rules are rules and unlike us, civilized nations live by them and won't bent them no matter what. But the whole decision leaves a very sour taste in one's mouth. It is the individual who plays and not the country. Mariga's fate is akin to being erroneously declared incompetent by association and birth not his capabilities.
  
  This is such a sad fate for the Kenya's would-be record breaker in the world of football. But take heart young Mariga, your star has been recognized and no bushel will succeed in dimming it. At 22, it is only a matter of when and not if you live your dream, North West or elsewhere.Kumekucha

  
  

• Wise Tested Counsel: Do Better than 24 Years

  Posted: January 29, 2010, 2:00 pm by Taabu

  Kumekucha

  
  

• Profiling Makes Us All Less Safe

  Posted: January 25, 2010, 6:47 am by Taabu

  By Mwarang'ethe
  
  Without even informing us whatever the so called national security really means, in the last few months, Chris has informed us that Somalis are a threat to the Kenyan national security. Thus, while evoking such an ambiguous term, he has now implored us on the wisdom of “supporting” Saitoti in his crack down on Somalis in Eastleigh in Nairobi.
  
  Anyway, the main issue here is not how to define the meaning of so called national security, but to show that, this kind of profiling we have adopted in the name of “fighting” terrorism, and which Chris is cheering in the name of fighting terrorism can only make us less safe.
  
  Now, there are two kinds of profiling. We can use behavioural profiling which is based on how someone acts. The other profiling is automatic profiling which is based on names, nationality; the way one may the way a person buys a plane ticket etc. As an example of automatic profiling, in December, 2009, the USA government designated 14 nations whose nationalities must be subjected to more screening. The meaning is that people from these 14 countries are more likely to be terrorists than all other nations.
  
  The behavioural profiling can be the most effective way of profiling. However, it is extremely hard to get it right. Consequently, national security people and media people, retort to automatic profiling as we see now in Kenya against Somalis. The question is, does this kind of profiling really work?
  
  As a matter of evidence and reasoning, automatic profiling does not work. It does not work because the so called terrorists do not come in a neat profile that computers can pick. For instance, Timothy McVeigh was a white male American. The recent “terrorist,” by the name Mutallab, was a Nigerian. The shoe bomber, a Mr Richard Reid was a British with a Jamaican father. Germanaine Lindsay one of the alleged 7/7 bombers was an African from the Caribbean. Jose Padilla was an Hispanic American. The terrorist who blew the Russian planes in 2004 was a Chechen female. From this list, it is rather obvious that, terrorists do not come in one brand.
  
  More so, this kind of profiling creates two paths through security system. In one path, there is less scrutiny and the other one there is more scrutiny. Once you have this two path security system, you invite the terrorist/criminals to use the path with less security. These criminals no doubt have the capability of analysing a profiling system and then adapt accordingly.
  
  For instance, since Uganda is not among the 14 nations designated by the USA administration, what would stop a criminally minded person to relocate to Uganda for some time and then start his journey from Kampala to the USA?
  
  From what we have said above, it seems more reasonable to have a system where we can randomly select people to be screened. For instance, if it is at the airport, why not have an idea whereby, every 20th passenger, unless is a toddler, will be subjected to a more through screening? With such a system, anyone could be subjected to security checks at any time.
  
  The beauty of such an approach is that it does not anger the ethnic groups that we may need on our side if we are to be secure against criminals. Otherwise, with automatic profiling, you alienate the same people you want to cooperate.Kumekucha

  
  

• Presidency: Reducing Institution to Personality

  Posted: January 22, 2010, 11:00 pm by Taabu

  By Guest Writer
  
  Come on Kenyans, let us get our priorities right for once and have the cart behind the horse. This animal called the presidency is the singular source of all the ills afflicting Kenya and until we rectify and straighten that institution we will only succeed in bandaging a festering wound with devastating consequences.
  
  The constitutional order was never the problem for Kenya. Rather, the problem has been and will always remain the abused institution of the presidency, debased by tribal shenanigans and left to rot by a "below-the-threshold" civic consciousness, low energy and rudderless political participation by the Kenyan people.
  
  To create a proper constitutional presidency takes thorough-going measures to establish formal permanent structures to manage the presidency. These structures must create a process for how the presidency functions; develop goals and action plans for achieving presidential agenda, time frames and a reporting mechanism for the accomplishments of the presidency. Kenyans can then begin to make sense of the institution, weigh its actions against its goals and agenda and, evaluate its excesses based on a known set of parameters referencing constitutional provisions and limits of presidential action.
  
  As things stand, the presidency in Kenya operates by rule of the thumb, has a limited executive apparatus consisting of a state comptroller, a press secretary and a security details. Think about it, how can this outfit effectively manage presidential programs?! The president's involvement in national issues, under these circumstances, becomes residual and the presidential routine includes such mundane roles as signing legal notices, receiving ambassadors credentials, attending ceremonial functions etc.
  
  Lords of Impunity
  There is much more that a broadened presidency can do. It can act as a centre for the expeditious implementation of important socio-economic agenda that meets the expectations of the people.
  
  Institutions that are not held accountable never reformed or restructured in any way become derelict. If Kenyans can separate the presidency from the president, the executive, as an institution, from the president and, if focused attention can be paid to the structure and facility of these institutions, they have a chance to function as organs for the pursuit of the integrity of the state.
  
  Instead, we have a presidency without a structure, an administration that functions as the superintendent of the permanent bureaucracy, a government that reels under the disruptive impact of new dynamics associated with new administrations, absence of transitional structures to anchor the bureaucracy from the degenerative effects of administration change. The presidency has, historically, produced political impunity and hawkish ethnic power centres. All these elements sour the political landscape and make good governance untenable.
  
  A president that knows he/she functions under the watch of an institutional rather than an individualized presidency, will, in most cases, be controlled and limited in what he/she can arbitrarily do or allow to be done.
  
  Return of Imperialism
  Any constitution, old or new, that does not guarantee the rule of law, that allows the president to feel and act as an omnipotent deity, that tempts tribes to want power so desperately, will never be a good constitution. Anytime a good constitution is combined with bad institutions the resultant practices and political behaviours will undermine the rule of law. This will often create the impression that the constitution is the problem. Nothing can be further from the truth.
  
  In a nutshell we are not starring hell in the face for lack of preachers. Far from it, we have collectively and unwittinly allowed pretenders and little devils to lead us by the hand to hellhole.
  
  We must hold our leaders to account so that they match the letter and spirit of our laws, period.Kumekucha

  
  

• PSC and Paradox of Presidential Governance

  Posted: January 21, 2010, 3:00 pm by Taabu

  It must be such an obtuse paradox to have parliamentarians as authors of a presidential system of governance. Well, if the imperial presidency is synonymous with impunity, then the parliamentary system is a poor acceptance of tribal tension among Kenyans.
  
  Kenyans have been unanimous in demanding one centre of power. Consequently, the PSC meeting in Naivasha have taken cue to settle for presidential system of governance. So far the whole PSC business smacks of smartly-disguised mischief.
  
  What a lucky and privileged lot? Not only do they set and increase their own salaries, this time around they have upped the game by creating more constituencies for themselves.
  
  Now we have PSC members determining a cap of 325 MPs. Which leaves you wondering what were their parameters in their hurry to jump the gun. Here we have people enslaved with the present political dispensation selfishly prescribing a future manual and structure of governance.
  
  It appears the Kenyan voter hasn't seen the last of these scoundrels. One would be forgiven for believing the MPs when they shamelessly wax patriotic and pseudo objective until they start voting on weighty matters using their stomachs and mouths.
  
  But you cannot blame the MPs who are only flying their Principal's flag. Lack of leadership from the TOP proved a clear abdication of responsibility. This saw the PSC being entrusted with an enormous task that the real power men never even pretended to solve.
  
  Well, plastic patriotism may make us shout in denouncing those classifying us as a failed state. But the reality remains we are in the same cesspool as that hosting Mugabe and Tsvamgirai.
  
  Kenya may not be Zimbabwe (spelling and pronunciation) but the common thread through both countries is the beautiful MIRAGE of a new constitution.Kumekucha

  
  

• Xenophobia and Mau Unites Karua and Ruto

  Posted: January 18, 2010, 4:39 pm by Taabu

  They play in opposite sides of the political field occasionally throwing choicest epithets at each other. But on demanding humane treatment of victims of official harassment, Hons. Karua and Ruto play on the same team for the same goal: FAIRNESS.
  
  While Ruto took the PM head on demanding HUMANE EVICTIONS from Mau forest, Karua is roasting Saitoti for allowing police to use excessive force in breaking last Friday's protest. True to the hen-egg adage, which came first: the floods/trees for Ruto or human rights/security for madam Martha?
  
  Here are two presidential candidates walking the talk. And Karua should know when she barracks Saitoti for a failed intelligence gathering. Her fidelity to the law can only earn her more admirers if not more voters. She stands tall and tough when no man dares raise his neck as evident during the post-election storm.
  
  As for Ruto, his focus and bare knuckles approach to matters he consider close to his political cause can only raise his standing. After defying Moi and succeeding against all odds, nobody knows better how to fell a political giant.
  
  These two presidential candidates have introduced a breathe of fresh air to political competition based on ISSUES. Karua knows human rights must not be compromised at whatever cost. Even Al-Shabaab sympathizers have rights and what is more, they are Africans and Kenyans to boot. Eastleigh and Kenya would be much poorer without these enterprising lot.
  
  Meanwhile Ruto's selfless fight for the downtrodden sets a new standard for true leadership. Nobody could have been far-sighted than an Agriculture Minister promising a nationwide tree planting instead of selective actions media tokenism witnessed in Mau last Friday. Ruto has reminded us that tree planting is like infant immunization that can be postponed till the right time.
  
  It is no coincidence that events of last Friday provided the platform on which these two great politicians launched their constructive campaigns against xenophobia and government harassment of her citizens.
  
  Kenya can only get better. Kudos to the principled iron lady Karua and the indomitable honest Ruto. You have both painfully planted and the bounty harvest from your common constituency constituting the harassed will not disappoint.Kumekucha

  
  

• Experts Betrayed Kenya, Planted High Tension

  Posted: January 15, 2010, 4:00 pm by Taabu

  The wide gulf between the two leading political camps on the new draft constitution beggars the question, whose views did the committee of experts (CoE) gather and synthesize? In fact the VP has already challenged the CoE to table the raw views.
  
  Something is not quite right here. Either the CoE betrayed their mandate and deceived Kenyans by ignoring their views or the political shenanigans are back to what they know best by stroking tension in preparation for 2012.
  
  Our politicians have thrown posterity to the dogs. Meanwhile they continue to hold us collectively hostage by the fear and interests of personalities. And the CoE did us no favour with the hybrid proposal that thought was a master stroke to bridge the divide but instead seems to be even driving the wedge deeper.
  
  The last few days brings back the tension and division of referendum 2005 live. The coalition mongrel is tottering in the brink of collapse. Already ministers are publicly pulling in opposite direction pandering and aligning themselves for 2012.
  
  Deceit manifests itself in various shapes and forms including contempt packaged as silence. Just look at all the nonsensical standoff between the PM and President on tree planting in Mau. The whole episode leaves you wondering and marvelling at the folly of inverted priorities.
  
  Unless some sombre leadership prevails, the impeding referendum will do more damage and leave the country more polarized like never seen before. That would be the perfect catalyst to spark inferno come 2012.
  
  Something or somebody must stop these selfish politicians from playing Russian Roulette with Kenya. The Katiba mirage is fast fading in the horizon.
  
  P.S. Don't miss the sizzling weekend special this weekend;
  Kumekucha

  
  

• President or PM: The Draft's Dead on Arrival

  Posted: January 12, 2010, 11:00 am by Taabu

  Political scientists often advance the theory that a country needs a crisis to draft a new constitution. So do we need a crisis or are we already in one to warrant one? Well, maybe we have both circumstances in our hand if the single obsession with executive power is anything to go by.
  
  Ex-President Moi has just added his voice with a preference to presidential system of governance. And he has the right more so given his 24 years of RUIN as the president himself as be shamelessly reminds us that the presidential system is not dictatorial as politicians want us to believe. Well, we better listen to the professor of Kenyan politics now that the present dispensation makes him look a saint.
  
  The renown Oxford-trained political scientist Mutahi Ngunyi (WANTED by Ford foundation) also bastardized the CoE of intellectual laziness. He opined that the PSC can salvage the simmering political situation by presenting two drafts for a YES-YES vote. And therein lies the matchbox to ignite a raging inferno.
  
  Recent developments points to the two political sides pandering to this ROSSY proposition. But behind this poisoned chalice for proposal hides their true intention to drive the final blade through body Kenya. You cannot fail to see the smartly veiled gimmick to rally other Kenyan tribes against those who have ALLEGEDLY suffocated them with the imperial presidency.
  
  Bloggers here may chose to differ but not before the mass hysteria acquires a life of its own to self-destruction. True, the CoE failed in their mandate by holding themselves hostage to present political dispensation while giving leave to posterity.
  
  But all is not lost. Kenyans have come along way and the politicians can only use old tricks on them at their collective peril. Until then the scent of new constitution may just drift away as the struggle enters its third decade.Kumekucha

  
  

• Al-Faisal: Of Loyalty to Religion and Country

  Posted: January 11, 2010, 9:00 am by Taabu

  
  The difference between failed and failing state may just be reduced to tenses. Well, somebody must have slept on the wheels to let the Jamaican preacher in Kenya. So far nobody wants to answer the basic question of who gave him visa to enter Kenya.
  
  Nobody and no country wants to touch him. But Al-Faisal traversed a dozen African countries including South Africa before landing in Mombasa by road. Now none of these countries want anything to do with him.
  
  Either we were more vigilant within our borders or just plainly naive and left holding both the baby and the bath tab. The fact that neither Tanzania not SA doesn't want to hear about this guy leads to the obvious question did he have visa for these countries or was he there illegally?
  
  Meanwhile our over zealous activists and lawyers-for-rent are all over demanding his release. Speak of the law being an ass. Religion has become a cheap rallying call and adherents can sell both their souls and country for six silvers.
  
  Well, these loud-mouthed activists must have forgotten one Fazul staying and marring a local in Lamu and the subsequent dark August 7, 1998.
  
  Al-Faisal must have been unlucky to have been nabbed before he disappeared into Eastleigh. Kenya must be the safe haven and route for Al-Shaabab recruits.Kumekucha

  
  

• Zuma: Fidelity With Plural Emotions

  Posted: January 8, 2010, 10:00 am by Taabu

  
  Not even ultimate power comes in between the joy and burden of athletism around the waist.Kumekucha

  
  

• Kumekucha Awards for Citizen Journalism

  Posted: December 31, 2009, 9:00 pm by Taabu

  The first decade of the new millennium is gone. And gone with it too is the prophesied meltdown that never was in 2000. The vanishing decade also ushered in the so-called citizen journalism that saw the birth of our own Kumekucha.
  
  True, a blog is nothing but just that a blog, an online diary if you like. But again there are blogs and there is Kumekucha. This is not only a political blog that trail blazed while others followed, but readers visit this blog so as to have a true feeling of Kenya’s political pulse. And the opinions are both varied and acidic as they come.
  
  As we welcome the second decade of the millennium, pioneer writers of this blog deserve accolades. First comes Chris with his no-holds-barred insights. The BOSS has rubbed many regulars and newbies the wrong way. And true to the adage that only fools don’t change their minds, he has modified his political takes based on dynamics while retaining history as his principal anchor. Wapi Oscar?
  
  Acid and vitriol
  Next comes Phil, the indefatigable. Like him hate him Phil’s passion and steadfastness to advance and defend his course is a case study of political fidelity. That picture would be incomplete without mentioning Derek (aka Deroo) as Phil’s checkmate on the political chessboard. Derek and Vikii’s eloquence in articulating their respective political stands is passion personified.
  
  The rainbow politics in Kumekucha would be the poorer without mentioning both UrXlnc and Sam Okello with their often controversial pitches. And yes, one and only Luke with his tongue firmly stuck in his cheek.
  
  Then comes the girls who stuck their heads to disabuse the male folk of political naivity. The potent mix of PKW, Ciku Msa, Sayra and Mrembo would often leave the men scampering for political safety like headless chicken. This lot provided the much needed reality check when the political kitchen became too hot.
  
  The past few months wouldn’t have been the same at this blog without the intellectual rigour and vigour of our own Mwarangethe. His singular obsession and articulation of matters wealth and land is a thesis superlatively written and defended.
  
  Reclaim Kenya
  The KK citizen journalism awards would be biased and insensitive without mentioning the numerous anonymouses whose wits and vitriol spiced and enriched the blog.
  
  This is therefore to wish all of you a happy NEW YEAR for making this blog such a success. KK's clones never grew wings or the feathers froze. You have provided a steady pedestal for even better political discourse in the new decade.
  
  Phew! Gone is the cursed decade when we almost collectively stewed in our own blood and incoming is the defining year when Kenyans either reclaim their country from scoundrels or kiss the bottom of abyss-self destruction.
  
  Happy new year once more folks.Kumekucha

  
  

• FPE Funds: Vultures Mauling Carcass Kenya

  Posted: December 17, 2009, 6:00 pm by Taabu

  The hyenas have struck at the Ministry of Education by looting donor funds meant for free primary education. The heartless wolves won't care less even if their selfish acts will see more than 8 million children drop out of school.
  
  That the government has been used as a cash cow by fraudulent civil servants is not legendary. But seeing senior officers at the ministry's headquarters squander money meant for the poorest is cannibalism taken too far.
  
  Well, the thieves may have just bitten more than they can chew. And Kibaki is livid with rage at their audacity to steal such large amount organizing and attending phantom seminars and conferences. You can only imagine how many such evil schemes these fraudsters successfully executed without being caught.
  
  Leaves you asking where are our values as a country and society if we can chuck out food from a starving Kenyan? No superlative constitution can legislate human values. No wonder these officials have no qualms formulating policies for public schools while sending their own kids to private schools.
  
  Begging thieves
  Add this obtuse heartlessness to government officials stealing bags of maize and beans meant to feed the starving in Rift Valley and you get what constitutes our warped sense of financial success - HELL FOR LEATHER.
  
  We are such shameless begging thieves. It had to take donor UK's actions of withholding further funding before the so-called leaders react. So much for hollow sovereignty and flag independence.
  
  And true to our unique template Professor Ongeri and Mutahi won't take personal or official responsibility. Welcome to Kenya where everything goes.
  
  
  
  Special announcement: Cancel all your dates this weekend that will keep you far from the web. Chris continous with his groundbreaking series; Dark secrets of the Kenyan presidency. If you thought the Kenyatta secrets were hot then you will faint when you read the Moi ones starting tomorrow.
  More good news for regular visitors to Kumekucha. Starting Tuesday Chris will launch a new business and social series to highlight heroic deeds and unique stuff Kenyans are doing all over the world. He will focus on the small man who hardly has a chance of ever getting major media coverage. There is a lot Kenyans are doing quietly from a great herbal service that has a track record for saving lives of people suffering from Aids to a small publishing company that has launched a very useful stimulus package that will make 2010 a great year for anybody who gets these 9 books and practices everything in them. Much more to look forward to only here in Kumekucha.Kumekucha

  
  

• Apolitical Gema Backs Raila: Smart or Suicide?

  Posted: December 15, 2009, 2:00 pm by Taabu

  Folks, it is time for RE-INVENTION. Old wine are out in full force searching for new bottles: from non-political Karume-led Gema to reformist YK92.
  
  The Jewish folklore of fattening a goat before eventually slaughtering couldn't have been more apt. But again in politics only interests are permanent and nothing else is.
  
  We surely live in interesting political times. And history must be the richer for it as it beckons to repeat itself and resoundingly so.
  
  Bishop Dr. Lawi Imathiu should have asked EXPERTS here at Kumekucha to know that his kite won't fly. He would have been promptly reminded of the sophisticated political mindset of the same people whose interests he claims to advance. No brainer.
  
  Interesting time indeed when a tribal grouping DENOUNCES tribalism. The whole thing leaves you wondering whether we are ushering in a new dawn or staring at a mirage.
  
  Well, the dye is cast and EXCITABLE experts can join the party in bashing and gloating in equal measure. Just take your pick.Kumekucha

  
  

• Draft Constitution: The Curse of Two Parties

  Posted: December 10, 2009, 6:00 pm by Taabu

  One week to go and the discussion on the so-called harmonized (conflicting) draft constitution has refused to leave the station. The whole noble task of drafting a constitution for posterity has been reduced to the never-ending PNU-ODM political wars.
  
  You can never built anything sustainable premised on FEAR. Chapter 12 of the draft on executive has proved to the most contentious. Each political side is determined to have her cake and est it. Unfortunately, the truth is that none of the parties is right on either the presidential or parliamentary system of governance.
  
  While Moi frustrated the search for a new constitution for selfish reasons to consolidate his powers, the present political leadership are no better. No wonder the key players inadvertently let it out that the struggle was not to make Kenya better but to remove Moi and inherit his powers. Meanwhile Kenyans remain stuck in the middle suffocating from impunity.
  
  The whole country is held hostage by the political class. Despite being overtly political, the average Kenyan will fall to the gimmicks of these scoundrels and miss yet another opportunity to re-invent Kenya.
  
  Only a third neutral force devoid of the present brinkmanship can make us realize the dream of a new constitution. And there promptly comes the question, who will offer this selfless leadership. There must be such a Kenyan out there, who is s/he, ANYONE?Kumekucha

  
  

• Reforms: More Visa Bans Coming Soon

  Posted: December 9, 2009, 6:00 pm by Taabu

  While Amos Wako re-invents his poisonous smile smarting from the US visa ban, more politicians are lined up for the next round of ban. And the present grandstanding and brinkmanship on the draft constitution won't have been godsend. Forget the empty abroad-is-not-heaven chorus. The bans hits the mighty hard where it hurts most.
  
  Calling learned politicians ignorant may sound disrespectful but what else can you term a bunch of people whose vision never extends past the present leadership? Add to that the obnoxious obsession with TRIBE and you get a recipe to make a superb idiot.
  
  But these leaders are not alone. The have good company in equally-schooled Kenyans who mouth superlatives with no intention of walking the talk. Hypocrisy must be our collective forte. Look no further than the predictable propensity to chest thumb while supporting political turf wars at the expense of weighty national issues.
  
  Kenyans appear to have been weaned on LEADERLESSNESS so mush so that any trace of tough decision is fast reduced into cheap grandstanding and partisan warfare. In the meantime nothing moves and Kenya remains the worst for it all.
  
  No wonder the so-called international community have refused to buy into our national lies. Annan and co will never leave us stew in our own blood again and the EU and US visa bans are coming soon and furious.Kumekucha

  
  

• The Curse of A+O+O: Lovely Bedfellows

  Posted: December 7, 2009, 5:00 pm by Taabu

  Hail the king and his sidekick for true triumph. Fighting him is akin to cutting fig tree with a razor blade.
  
  The last laugh is surely the longest, loudest and sweetest. Don't spoil the party with all those stale draft constitution debate. Forget about LEADERSHIP, politics is all about triumph here and now. And the winner is........................(NOT KENYANS).
  
  So in appreciation let us all expose our post-molars please and applaud the brave worriors of democracy. One, two, three ............Kumekucha

  
  

• The Two Centres of Power Can Hold, Why Not?

  Posted: November 23, 2009, 3:00 am by Taabu

  The unpleasant truth be told, the draft constitution will be passed or defeated on the singular issue of competing executive powers between the president and PM. Pretending otherwise is to live a national lie. All the other magnificent clauses will either fall in place or be buried together with the explosive executive power.
  
  The real paradox lies in the hidden acknowledgement from CoEs that all our woes are traceable to imperial presidency while also creating a check in the office of the PM. Well, we know the king size egos of politicians and we only leave such an ambiguity to their so called well-meaning and statesmanship interpretations at our collective peril.
  
  We know the tattered constitution owes its stench not from its print or spirit but wanton abuse by the previous three presidents. While Jomo betrayed all the basic tenets of nationalism at independence, Moi fitted smartly in his predecessor’s ruinous shoes to drive Kenya down the destructive slope. As for Kibaki his love for the nostalgic 1960s left him no time to measure up to Kenyans’ expectation of him following 2002 elections. But all that is water under the bridge.
  
  The present political circumstances though self-inflicted offers us the best opportunity to reclaim Kenya and free ourselves from the evil grip of these selfish politicians. Granted the draft is not perfect, if not a lazy pretence at intellectualism that merely grafted the controversial executive clause to hitherto comprehensive Bomas and divisive Kilifi drafts.
  
  American constitution is often quoted for posterity because while POTUS remains the most powerful person standing on planet earth, he is comprehensively checked by senate and other arms of government. We cannot afford the expensive luxury of leaving the ego of a president and a PM enslave and strangle Kenya forever.
  
  The spirit of CoE’s draft lies in its latent acceptance that we are a nation exclusively led by competing tribal lords. Majority of Kenyans owe their loyalty first to their tribe and country second. The proposed regional governments are nothing but an academic nomenclature of that truism.
  
  So are we ready for both an executive president and PM? Well, while the present proposal was singularly informed by the nasty experience of a suffocating presidency, we MUST tame competing egos with stringent laws that leaves the scoundrels no room to hold Kenya at ransom again, NEVER.
  
  True, majority of Kenyans only read for exams in addition to text messages. But this time we must roll up our sleeves, open our eyes, read the draft and make our opinions count.
  
  And who knows, we could trail blaze uncharted waters of governance. But while at it WATERTIGHT remains the key.Kumekucha

  
  

• The Paradox of Devolution and Nationalism

  Posted: November 20, 2009, 4:00 pm by Taabu

  Kenyans are poring into the draft constitution starting from the top. They have collectively identified the cancer of unchecked powers exclusively resident at State House which they want tamed. On the same frequency they abhor reserving the weighty task of choosing PM to selfish politicians.
  
  The CoE would kill many birds with the same stone by amending that clause to indicate that the PM will be the leader of the party with majority MPs. That single provision will sound the death knell of briefcase parties while promoting policy-based parties. What is more, voters will vote with be priori knowledge of whom their prospective PM would be. That will minimize political wheeler dealing and arm twisting.
  
  That said the prospect of two centres of power MUST be addressed if the present inertia and tension is to be eradicated. Instead of narrowing power sharing to two offices, the executive authority is better best executed from one office with empowered independent institutions as watchdogs. Independent institutions rather than gullible MPs are a safer bet to objectivity and continuity devoid of electoral tensions.
  
  While Kenyans rightfully remain fixated to the proposed two centres of power, chapter two of the draft constitution is a study in paradox per excellence. First the chapter spells out devolution which captures the hitherto loathed majimbo in all but name.
  
  With devolution come deserved superlatives like sovereignty of the people and supremacy of the constitution itself. The three layers of governance is just too costly for a poor country like Kenya. But again, the CoE must have been alive to our ethnic loyalties and regional disparities.
  
  The draft declares that the governments at the various levels will be distinct and interdependent. Then comes the rider that the same governments must conduct their mutual relations on the basis of consultation and cooperation. That paradox must be clearly spelt out to avoid any regional conflicts that will inevitably impact on the national fabric.
  
  Also chapter two of the draft hits a masterstroke by reducing national holidays to three: Madaraka, Mashujaa and Jamhuri days. Makes sense if only they would do away with the obsession to specific dates and instead opt for days of the week (e.g first Monday of June ....) to avoid disruption of economic activities.
  
  But this structuring and reduction of holidays is a first step to kill deity and destructive sycophancy that saw previous presidents patent Kenya in their own names. Besides disabusing previous imperialists of personalized rule, this is a recognition of all who selfishly contributed in different ways to liberating Kenya.
  
  In a nutshell, while all are tackling the draft head first, the document provides us with the best opportunity to RECLAIM Kenya for ourselves and the future generation. We must not allow the pettiness of the present politicians to take us back to MISRI. The first generation leaders failed big time to steer Kenya to her right heights and we are paying the painful consequences.
  
  Let us seize this unique moment to retrace our steps and redefine the glorious Kenya for posterity. We owe it to ourselves and the future generation.Kumekucha

  
  

• Imanyara's Local Tribunal Bill Dead on Arrival

  Posted: November 12, 2009, 7:00 pm by Taabu

  Kenyans must have seen it coming. The voluble MPs predictably and conveniently dissolved in thin air leaving parliament chambers empty. Result, the popular Imanyara Bill meant to create local tribunal to punish perpetrators of PEV was pronounced dead on arrival.
  
  To compound matters, the Kenya clergy are already proposing minimum reforms after prophesying failure in enacting new constitution. But you cannot fault men of the cloth given our penchant to kill any progressive idea that doesn't serve present political interest.
  
  Give it to Minister Michuki for shooting straight from the hip. At least the snake rattler is forthright in telling off Imanyara to separate local tribunal from his obsession in targeting the president. Kimendero is a go-getter who knows what brings results and what amounts to hot air bereft of any meaningful movement.
  
  For results, Michuki has promised Imanyara his vote provided the provision stripping the president of immunity is deleted from the bill.
  
  A+O+O=Fire or meddling?
  So here we are paying over 200 MPs to desert their work stations and still expect progress from their collective inertia. The political stakes have never been higher and the forest is getting even more crowded.
  
  It appears we haven't sunk to the bottom of abyss but we are steadily headed there.
  
  The eloquent inaction, rudderlessness and official indifference are the trinity arsenal we need to exterminate ourselves come 2012.
  
  No wonder only the fire of A+O+O shakes the scoundrels off their boots.Kumekucha

  
  

• Progressive or New Activist Draft Constitution?

  Posted: November 10, 2009, 4:00 pm by Taabu

  A look at the proposed new draft constitution leaves you wondering whether you are listening to an NGO seminar presentation. While the draft captures the heart of most of the salient issues like devolution and judicial overhaul, the finer prints smacks of activism devoid of any trace of tunnel vision to anchor national foundation and values.
  
  The return of two chambers may appear to rewinding the clock to 1960s but at least it is an honest reflection to help us retrace our steps towards disabusing the godfathers of impunity like Jomo and his STUDENTS who patented Kenya for themselves. The senate will ensure no region feels marginalized by either default or design as we re-invent ourselves into a modern state.
  
  Hopefully the provincial governments will comprehensively tackle the regional militias presently roaming and BEHEADING fellow Kenyans. At least the regional authorities will be knowledgeable and armed with experience to stop the murderers at their doorsteps.
  
  Perhaps the most progressive suggestion in the draft constitution is the provision of dual citizenship. Kenya has been blind to her Diaspora despite their enormous contribution to the economy. This development is a step towards disabusing the old guards of their primitive nostalgia and contempt towards modernism. The ball will squarely fall on the Diaspora’s court to walk their lofty talk should the dual citizenship proposal pass muster.
  
  Saving ourselves
  But predictably, the draft does not fail to inject a bitter taste onto the lips with its academic legislation on gender. While NGOs win donors with their gender campaigns, legislating that no gender should occupy two-thirds of the seats in the National Assembly turns the whole theme of equity on its own head.
  
  On the whole the so-called committee of experts has correctly diagnosed our collective ailment. Their prescription may not be the best but at least it will keep us alive to either accept reality and reform or revert to our destructive pettiness that will only see us perish collectively.
  
  It is incumbent upon us to rise to the occasion and save ourselves from stewing in our won blood, shall we?Kumekucha

  
  

• Yet Another Financial Typo From Treasury

  Posted: November 9, 2009, 1:00 pm by Taabu

  Their creativity is so amazing and they won't stop. After the BUDGET typo now comes CMC's 2003 loan being paid in style via Volkswagen Passat cars.
  
  Competitive bidding must have been a preface in syllabus of yore. Value for theft is only guaranteed via sour be single sourcing. And at KES 3.7m per VW unit, don't ask the difference from KES 1.8m from the truly industrious lot.
  
  You see we have to retrospectively finance the hither phantom 6% growth that was exclusively anchored on deceit. In addition to paying the previous debts, the kitty must be replenished for 2012.
  
  Make no mistake, the fraudsters are not naive. They packaged the fraud so smartly the public was left asking for more. Denouncing fuel guzzlers must have been a superlative PR while the scoundrels scouted for next prey. And the game goes on and on..........Kumekucha

  
  

• Wako to Enter Nolle Prosecui on US Visa Ban

  Posted: November 4, 2009, 11:10 am by Taabu

  
  Smiling Wako must be wishing that impunity could be exported and made universal. But hell NO.
  
  Well, the smile has vanished to be replaced by a long face. Amos needs to CLONE himself to have a chance of testifying against the US. He would better ask one Chris Murungaru on the futility of such bravado.
  
  Living national lies must be damn expensive in the long run. Now Amos Wako can shamelessly claim to be the point man who ushered in multipartysm during the fall of the Berlin wall. That amounts to hawking fake credentials, and smart Amos knows it. Whoever said lawyers are legal scoundrels wouldn't have been more apt.
  
  Extrapolate that lie to the hitherto 6% national growth in the face of more Kenyans joining the poverty bracket and you define our national fabric of deception. NA BADO.Kumekucha

  
  

• As the Noose Tightens: To Refer or Not to ICC

  Posted: November 2, 2009, 5:00 pm by Taabu

  There is a very thin line between EXECUTIVE INDIFFERENCE and leadership fraud. The buck must stop with the CEO when the company he is entrusted and paid to watch over comes down tumbling. But not in Kenya.
  
  Those making noise and taking sides must be strangers to Kibaki's political modus operandi. When the heat becomes unbearable, Emilio never helps anybody fight his political battles once you hit your-sell-by date. Not even if you staked you head for him. If in doubt Martha and octogenarian ambassador Muchemi are living testimonies. And so UK and Bill will soon find out that they are on their own.
  
  The good news is that when The Hague Express finally leaves the station, it will acquire its own momentum that will only stop when Kenya is eventually cleansed of bravado, brinkmanship and above all else IMPUNITY.
  
  Political sell-by-date
  Prof Alston came and declared his unflattering verdict on the three musketeers. Well, they vilified him but look who is smiling from ear to ear now. Ali is cooling his heels at Posta, Wako's lips are fatigued from plastic smiles and next will be CJ Gicheru. The noose is tightening quite fast.
  
  Prof Luis Moreno Ocampo has set his own agenda and demanding that the script be followed to the letter. While his actions would smack of neo-colonialism to apologists, many Kenyans are cheering him on for taking on the might and doing what they wish but can never do given the suffocating impunity.
  
  So is it the beginning of the end for kings and princes of impunity? But again this is Kenya and king Louis XVI may choose to ignore the impending heat while his wife Marie Antoinette asks Kenyans to eat cake if they cannot afford githeri?
  
  Well, the die is cast and the real fire and curse of the three dread vowels A+O+O is here.Kumekucha

  
  

• The Curse of A+O+O, Hollow Pride in Poverty

  Posted: October 29, 2009, 9:00 pm by Taabu

  Why do hitherto brilliant brains MUTATE into porridge once in government? Lord Acton must have been a genius with his time-tested adage that absolute power corrupts absolutely. A look into our cabinet would leave the late Rogue Ambassador Smith Hempstone turning in his grave for wasted efforts to protect pretenders for champions of good governance and democracy.
  
  So it appears Obama's utter contempt for Kibaki's protest letter is to send an Assistant Minister to deal with Kenya. And our chief diplomat Wetangula has threatened to reciprocate the humiliation to President Kibaki. Maybe Renneberger will be declared persona non grata soon.
  
  But Wetangula appears to know something we don't when he names Fidel Castro and Ahmednedijan's trip to UN despite their respective hostility America. His comparison leaves you wondering who is the Kenya's equivalent of the two and if he is a target of BAN.
  
  It must have sounded intellectually stimulating and sense of pride for Weta to mention Nairobi, Geneva, New York and Vienna in the same sentence. We are sovereign and independent, so what? The US are doing what ordinary Kenyans would wish to do were it not for saffocating IMPUNITY. Any form of pressure to release us from the yoke of impunity is more than welcome. Well, apologists will rush to the next rooftop to shout neo-colonialism.
  
  The US pressure for reforms has been reduced to the predictably PNU vs ODM tiff. The hitherto champions of good governance shifted the goalposts immediately they tasted power. As one PKW noted here in the previous post the political foot is now squarely stuck in the other foot. Flashback to 2000 and see Kibaki and the present brigade lambasting Moi on imperial presidency and now?
  
  Edible sovereignty
  The latest poverty index has shamed the national lie about phenomenal growth during the 2002-7 period. The increase in poorer Kenyans is once more living testimony of the resulting embarrassment of living a national lie. Anything premised on this vice is simply unsustainable.
  
  Wetangula and Mutula's rush to see every criticism directed at the ruling class as an agenda to embarrass the president smacks of sycophancy of yore. Speak of hollow pride from a beggar who cannot feed himself while living in darkness.
  
  Meanwhile the pressure is on and the lid may not hold it any more when Ocampo lands within our shores next week.Kumekucha

  
  

• Equity: One Kilometre, One Man, One Vote

  Posted: October 28, 2009, 11:00 pm by Taabu

  Here we go again. The magic word EQUITY is back on everybody's lips. Digging in for a fight, MPs are breathing fire to scuttle the yet-to-be born constitution. The war pits Central-MANIACS against Central-PHOBICS. All else is pretence at best and denial at worst.
  
  Make no mistake, our problem is not exclusively due to the present bad constitution. The real problem is that we have and make laws with no intention to obey them. Impunity, another magic word rules supreme.
  
  Looking at PNU and ODM MPs shouting their love for EXECUTIVE presidency and parliamentary governance respectively leaves you wondering what a bunch of AIRHEADS we have as leaders. The truth is that PNU thinks of presidency and Kibaki as synonymous while ODM entertains that fertile imagination that they will remain the majority party forever.
  
  Nobody would have put EQUITY better than Muite. A country is not merely the sum total of its population. True, population is a factor among many others towards creating constituencies. But our mad rush-past-the-post spares us no room to think of tomorrow. All we have and fight to die for is here and now.
  
  We have leaders whose loyalty to anything objective is as good as a dog to fidelity. Their selfish and never-ending petty wars makes Kenya be in a permanent state of tension and they don't care a hoot. What is more, they remain secure in the knowledge that many will buy their pettiness hook, line and sinker.
  
  The word POSTERITY must mean nothing to these scoundrels. Instead of putting their heads together to mend a tattered country, they are busy shearing at every remaining thread. But not for long.
  
  Kenya and Kenyans are far ahead of this lot and very soon they will be put where they belong. It only remains a matter of time.Kumekucha

  
  

• Wako’s US Visa Ban is Megaphone Diplomacy

  Posted: October 27, 2009, 5:00 pm by Taabu

  The curse and heat from three vowels A+O+O is back. And now they have gone a notch higher and Kenya government’s chief legal officer is banned from visiting US. After defying President Kibaki’s official protest, Obama’s contempt for both our country and leaders continue.
  
  Kenya is for Kenyans and Obama must stop his proxy wars for influence our 2012 elections. Barack must avoid double standards by putting undue pressure on our government. He must not insult Kibaki’s mature diplomatic approach and resort to MEGAPHONES handed to one Johnny Carson and his sidekick Michael Renneberger.
  
  Obama must stop listening to the jobless ex-UN chief Koffi Annan. You cannot fail to see their evil intention to intensify the pressure just ahead of Moreno Ocampo’s date next week. Obama must measure up to his NEWEST Laureate status and stop fanning tension at the slightest excuse within Kenyan borders.
  
  Cheap 2012 proxy wars
  Kenya must be suffering from the curse of Obama by association. US needs to be ashamed of meddling in every aspect of Kenya’s government. They have spitted on our face by promoting the loudmouthed Renneberger when we demanded he be recalled. What is more, Johnny-come-lately even has the cheek to deride Ali’s exit as police boss as good riddance.
  
  More than 60% of Kenyans know no other AG in their lifetime except the brilliant and ever-smiling Wako. Amos is NOT GOING ANYWHERE. He is the only experienced hand who knows when to tamper justice with political reality.
  
  Wako's measured doses of nolle prosequi when militia bosses threaten to soil prominent names by spilling the beans is just what the doctor ordered. He is impunity personified. He provides the much-needed legal cover for kings of impunity.
  
  Obama must leave us alone to sort ourselves in the best way we know how. We need neither prodding nor babysitting. Just like Annan before him, Ocampo will come and gleefully kiss every camera and microphone thrown at him and go.
  
  The US of A is not heaven. They better know that all their present theatrics and megaphone diplomacy is not new, we have seen all these casts before. We are firm and happy in our own skin.Kumekucha

  
  

• Wako’s US Visa Ban is Megaphone Diplomacy

  Posted: October 27, 2009, 5:00 pm by Taabu

  The curse and heat from three vowels A+O+O is back. And now they have gone a notch higher and Kenya government’s chief legal officer is banned from visiting US. After defying President Kibaki’s official protest, Obama’s contempt for both our country and leaders continue.
  
  Kenya is for Kenyans and Obama must stop his proxy wars for influence our 2012 elections. Barack must avoid double standards by putting undue pressure on our government. He must not insult Kibaki’s mature diplomatic approach and resort to MEGAPHONES handed to one Johnny Carson and his sidekick Michael Renneberger.
  
  Obama must stop listening to the jobless ex-UN chief Koffi Annan. You cannot fail to see their evil intention to intensify the pressure just ahead of Moreno Ocampo’s date next week. Obama must measure up to his NEWEST Laureate status and stop fanning tension at the slightest excuse within Kenyan borders.
  
  Cheap 2012 proxy wars
  Kenya must be suffering from the curse of Obama by association. US needs to be ashamed of meddling in every aspect of Kenya’s government. They have spitted on our face by promoting the loudmouthed Renneberger when we demanded he be recalled. What is more, Johnny-come-lately even has the cheek to deride Ali’s exit as police boss as good riddance.
  
  More than 60% of Kenyans know no other AG in their lifetime except the brilliant and ever-smiling Wako. Amos is NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
  
  Obama must leave us alone to sort ourselves in the best way we know how. We need neither prodding nor babysitting. Just like Annan before him, Ocampo will come and gleefully kiss every camera and microphone thrown at him and go.
  
  The US of A is not heaven. They better know that all their present theatrics and megaphone diplomacy is not new, we have seen all these casts before. We are firm and happy in our own skin.Kumekucha

  
  

• Cholmondeley Free Man: The Law's an Ass

  Posted: October 23, 2009, 9:00 pm by Taabu

  The Kenyan government owes Maina Njena and his 18 co-accused both apologies and handsome compensation for unlawful incarceration. The injustice meted against the Mungiki leader that saw him being denied the opportunity to even bury his late wife is unforgivable.
  
  And now that the executive have taken over the court's jurisdiction to free Maina, the power that be must brace themselves for the Njenga’s threat to disclose names of the mighty Mungiki collaborators. The ever-smiling Amos only did what he knows best by lending authority to prodding from political quarters.
  
  BOXER from George Orwell's Animal Farm saw it all. If only we could all see the smokescreen for what it is. As you concentrate on the slap on the wrist for Cholmondely, the real deal below is off the hook after threatening to UNDRESS the KING.
  
  Brother Maina is back and is soon headed for BAPTISM. He has ordered the beheading squad to follow suit. We can only hope and pray that when the two profitable professions of religion and politics combine, Central Kenya will regain their peace.
  
  
  
  
  At long last Mungiki can now restructure and be more EFFECTIVE with their leader back. If only all were equal and so lucky?Kumekucha

  
  

• KCSE Exam Cheating Reflects Rotten Values

  Posted: October 23, 2009, 7:30 pm by Taabu

  Our filthy national fabric is being aired for all to see and marvel at. Past students who scored As and waiting to join campus are being hired to RESIT exams so as to boost schools’ profiles. The single fraudulent objective being to attract more money from gullible parents. But who is fooling whom here? No prizes for guessing.
  
  Granted, the cheating may not be that widespread but only concentrated in the usual pockets of regions. And there lies the crux of the matter, why would a parent or guardian sent a student to mark time in school for a whole four years with the singular objective of buying his/her way to SUCCESS? This evil ritual is so annoying and demoralizing to the majority hard-working students.
  
  And as they say a society is its own mirror. Honesty and integrity are virtues for the less industrious who sweat for their food. Why soil your fingers if a shortcut is available at the right price? We are our won worse enemies when we cheer thieves and murders as they lead us to the next available cliff.
  
  The KCSE exam fiasco is another reminder of our rotten values. The same parents complaining about corruption will be the first ones to troop to the schools enrolling past candidates in search of admission. And here we are admonishing abstract impunity while watering the fruits of eternal self-destruction. OLE WETU.
  
  Forget about a new constitution all we need is a NATIONAL REBIRTH OF BASIC VALUES. Generally what we consider success is nothing but primitively accumulated wealth by few individuals at our collective expense. And what is more, they have rented our mouths at no fee.
  
  Most of Kenya’s maladies are self inflicted. Just look at the limping economy, predictable floods and at the top IDPs. Until we have a honest look at our national conscience and mend our ways, all the lofty talk about DELUSION 2030 amounts to nothing but baying at the moon.Kumekucha

  
  

• Best Wishes for KSCE But You’re on Your Own

  Posted: October 21, 2009, 7:00 pm by Taabu

  We live in interesting times, don't we? First it is OFFICIAL, you are on your own as a Kenyan in terms of security. Forget about whining about government when your neighbour resorts to extortion and macabre beheading.
  
  While the government disowns its principal duty to provide national security, it is yet another season of exams starting Wednesday. And reading about the predictable tales of leakages going for as low as KES 2000 in addition to KNEC’s painful and expensive tasks of hiring helicopters and boats to overcome elements of adverse weather leaves you wondering why we continue inventing paths to self-destruction.
  
  Examinations have been reduced to loose all or win all platform to success. And what is more, our national deceptive mind has not spared the evaluation either. We have made deceit our second name so much so that success by any dubious means is an end unto itself.
  
  How nostalgic the Chiromo days when a grade A came after sleepless nights. That was then when industry meant each of its letters. But not anymore when scoundrels re-invent you in their minds and peddle a lie about you here at KK. That is Kenya’s fabric at its purest for you.
  
  Civilized societies would have exams posted to their schools who would post directly to the markers. But not in Kenya where any valuable item will never reach its designated postal address. Our parents are so ready to buy success they wont bat an eyelid purchasing fake or real leakages.
  
  Industrious beheading
  Having known first hand a copy typist who attained C- in form 4 but now a city lawyer after using the boss, a college Principal, to rig admission into parallel degree, I know the quacks we are breeding in our streets.
  
  The extra security and financial measures taken by KNEC are NOT a reflection of how industrious but fraudulent we are as a nation. Our national fabric seems to be exclusively made of threads of deceit. And we iron the gab with a hot steam of self-denial. Woe unto a country whose foundations are anchored on primitive and plastic success that is not sustainable.
  
  All the best wishes to the many candidates who adequately prepared for their KCSE exams. They are guaranteed to earn their marks and grades but unfortunately compete against the rotten lot weaned on the doctrine of SUCCESS BY ANY MEANS.Kumekucha

  
  

• Uhuru Settles IDPs, Leads by Example

  Posted: October 19, 2009, 5:39 pm by Taabu

  Acting just in time to celebrate his dad's day, the DPM and Minister for Finance Uhuru Kenyatta has proved himself a doer and not the mere talker that other leaders are. UK personally witnessed resettlement of hundreds of IDPs in Rongai from their Mawingu camp. What is more, the land used to resettle them was previously owned by the Kenyatta family.
  
  If only other leaders would follow in Uhuru's footsteps and donate part of their obscene acreage to resettle the remaining domestic refugees. Uhuru’s gesture must be emulated by others if leaders are to earn their votes. It is the height of insensitivity to own a whole PROVINCE of land and refuse to donate a negligible fraction to miserable and deserving souls. That the government buys it from you is even a greater selfless motivation to sell.
  
  Kenya needs true leaders like Uhuru who lead by example and from in front. Forget about the noisy elders from Rongai with their misplaced complaints that the government favoured the IDPs and has done little for the 25,000 squatters in the area.
  
  Professional squatters are better left to continue living the life they know best. Let the IDPs have roofs over their heads and a place to call HOME. Kudos to UK.Kumekucha

  
  

• Only Kalonzo Can Guarantee Kenya’s Peace

  Posted: October 19, 2009, 5:00 pm by Taabu

  The Honourable VP Kalonzo Musyoka has been erroneously and selfishly put on the defensive mode about his quest to unite Kenyans. Kalonzo is only being truthful and saying-as-it-is unlike the majority politicians who mask their tribal modus operandi.
  
  Kenyan politics is tribe-based and Kalonzo’s KKK alliance is nothing but testimony to that truism. Many may deride him as spineless but no Kenyan politician can hold a candle of GODLINESS and HONESTY to the MP for Mwingi North.
  
  After wrong footing pretenders to the throne in PNU, now Brother Stevo is whipping ODM’s backside. What is more, the God-fearing and saved VP is the MOST POPULAR and ELECTABLE among the masquerading lot.
  
  Reverse logic informs you that the VP would not be receiving so many brickbats were it not for his popularity which his opponents are cheekily bent on diminishing. The KKK Juggernaut is one hell of a political edifice that leaves others shaking in their boots. With the other two Ks already associated with power, only one K deserves the presidency. Calculative Kalonzo knows when to strike it rich and hot.
  
  Saintly mien
  Kalonzo’s political track record spanning over a quarter century speaks for itself. He should know better when he warns us against negative ethnicity drawing out attention to two million Sudanese killed from such heinous acts. He is unparalleled ambassador of peace and a DIPLOMAT to boot.
  
  Kalonzo’s detractors give wings to the old adage that a prophet is never revered at home. While Sudan and Somali owe their PEACE to his singular efforts, we cage him into our narrow tribal jingoism. Stevo proved that charity begins at home when he SWALLOWED his political pride and saved Kenya from stewing in her won blood.
  
  Only Kalonzo’s honesty can save us from our own evil selves. Look around you and see fake witnesses at Waki’s commission seeking protection with the singular intention to make hay. Add that to con IDPs parking SUVs next to their tents and you get a country blissfully mocking God's wrath unto them.
  
  Our politics feeds exclusively on deception and ONLY Kalonzo can dissolve the burden of imperial Presidency and its attendant impunity. Go Stevo go and unite the willing majority of Kenyans.Kumekucha

  
  

• Kenya Must Opt Out of ICC's Death Trap

  Posted: October 16, 2009, 9:00 pm by Taabu

  Desperate time calls for desperate measures and for Kenya that time is NOW. With IDPs being forced from the camps into hostile localities, we need HEALING in all forms and shape. And the starting point must be the cabinet to lead by example in renouncing Kenya's signature to the Rome statute enjoining us to ICC.
  
  Ocampo and his brigade have generated more heat than light. His noise together with lectures from Annan have detracted our diligent ministers from their core duties. We cannot afford to have the two key ministries of Finance and Agriculture suffer as their holders look over their shoulders shopping for international lawyers at our collective national expense.
  
  Kenya is for Kenyans and only we can save our country from stewing in her own blood. What is more, we are blessed with a REFORMIST president who will spare no effort to shame doomsayers.
  
  We are in dire need of reconciliation and healing. The suicidal ICC's milestone around our collective neck is one catastrophic baggage we can safely do without. Kibaki must lead by example and from in front in signing Kenya out out of the ICC statute.
  
  The loudmouthed and ever-patronizing US opted out of ICC, so why not Kenya? Their moral balloon is busted and we must be left to chat our own peaceful and unique destiny as we match towards vision 2030. Down with ICC and OcampoKumekucha

  
  

• Delusion 2030: Joined at the Fractured Hip

  Posted: October 12, 2009, 6:01 pm by Taabu

  
  
  The fire and curse of three vowels: A+O+O.Kumekucha

  
  

• Congratulations Nobel Laureate Barack Obama

  Posted: October 9, 2009, 7:00 pm by Taabu

  Nobody saw it coming. Even the bookies’ radar had no faintest signal of him. Well, the world listened, surprised and DELIVERED. Barack Hussein Obama is the winner of 2009 Nobel Peace prize for global diplomacy. There could have been no other better way to bait a leader to do great good with his immense power.
  
  That makes 3 Nobel Laureates with more than a passing interest in Kenya’s political problems. Our own Wangari Maathai, Kofi Annan and now Obama are all determined to see Kenyans freed from the suffocating evil grip of impunity.
  
  We must have seen it first by being the only country to declare Obama day last year. We are on the right side of history besides banishing the old adage that a prophet is never revered at home.
  
  And who doesn’t want to be associated with the winner. President Kibaki has performed the necessary rituals claiming it was BEFITTING. Well, maybe that is smart recanting of the protest note last week. It is bad manners to rain on a global party.
  
  So was Obama a worthy winner? True, there were other weighty contenders but Obama's resolve and determination to use his powers for the wider good must have won the votes from the five-member committee. Obama's strength can be captured in the single word INSPIRE. Think dialogue with Iran, N. Korea and Russia and you get the wider picture of international diplomacy at its best.
  
  The Nobel peace prize committee has debunked the enduring myth that the prize is only about accomplishment. Actually the prize was created as much to supply momentum for peace as to celebrate it and they said as much in awarding it to Obama in support of his plans to make the world a better place.
  
  Global diplomacy
  The other 204 nominations for this year's peace prize including Zimbabwean Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai and Chinese dissident Hu Jia may have been unfortunate to run against a PHENOMENON. As the Norwegian selection committee aptly said, it is very rare to have a person to the same extent as Obama captured the world's attention and given its people hope for a better future.
  
  Put simply Obama has created a new climate in international politics. Predictably Obama's award will invite detractors with equal zeal. Those conversant with American politics, will see Republicans ask why it is Obama after Carter and Al Gore. Well, you don't rig honours, do you?
  
  Obama’s winning the Nobel prize is testimony of what the rare humanity resident in a few can achieve. It may not be the results but the gesture and the will to fight and inspire the world is a priceless asset.
  
  It is one thing to lead but quite another to encapsulate the leadership concept towards steering the world on the premise of values and attitudes that are universally shared. Congratulations Obama.Kumekucha

  
  

• Bye Kofi Annan, You're Not Kenya’s Friend

  Posted: October 7, 2009, 6:00 pm by Taabu

  Annan came, shouted himself hoarse and must leave now after accomplishing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. True, he may have saved Kenya from stewing in her own blood but Annan lost the plot when he chose to advance the interests of the so-called international community at our expense.
  
  And lest he forgets, Annan has never been our friend. No wonder we bugged his hotel room last time he was here. You don’t do that to trusted friends. He has outlived his usefulness and must know when to quit.
  
  Annan is living a lie by refusing to accept and appreciate our 90% reform pass grade. Instead he has shamelessly enjoined himself into our local pettiness so much so that he is know admonishing our DULY elected President’s public appointments claiming they are skewed. All posts are filled on MERIT, period. All else is cheap propaganda.
  
  Appointments on merit
  Patriotism and sovereignty are priceless assets which our forefathers lost their lives fighting for. Annan must know the futility and perils of attempting to babysit octogenarians.
  
  Just like one loudmouthed Michael Renneberger, Annan will kiss the next available microphone and leave. And Moreno Ocampo coming after him is destined for the same fate. Kenya is for Kenyans and no amount of noise or pressure will make the landlords change their schemes to auction the remaining viable pieces.
  
  Bye bye Annan, please pass the button to Prof Luis Ocampo and don’t forget to reminding him to breathe real fire and threaten smouldering brimstone too.Kumekucha

  
  

• All is Well, We’ll Sort Ourselves Out in 2012

  Posted: October 7, 2009, 3:28 pm by Taabu

  It is harvesting season in the Rift and the peace valley is awash with cash from wheat and maize. But also doing roaring business are gun dealers with the buyers having their eyes singularly trained on the trophy year 2012. The issue is too hot for our local media lest they invite EXECUTIVE RAIDS.
  
  Forget the 2007 preface with matches, bows and arrows, this time round it will be heads and bodies stopping bullets. Faint hearted will speedily brand this sensational but the truth remains TIMELESS and its legacy last forever. You can choose to permute our national pastime of deceit and bury your head deep in the sand oblivious of the impeding Armageddon.
  
  The warlords of 2012 massacres remain free men roaming our streets. What is more, we are dutifully paying their hefty salaries from our tax. Make no mistake, these kings know too well how high the stakes have risen.
  
  But trust AIRHEADS to trash the truth with serial juvenile attempts to reduce and denigrate what they hate to read and hear. Well, let such heads enjoy the warmth of the sand oblivious of the inevitable explosion facing their exposed backsides.
  
  Denial paradise
  We owe the Daily Nation plenty of thanks for BUGGING Harambee House to reveal what transpired between Annan, Kibaki and Raila. Surely, we have taken rumour-mongering to new national levels. And we are not talking about some yellow A4 tabloid but this is is coming from the most circulated newspaper in East and Central Africa.
  
  Annan’s diagnosis as lack of political confidence is an understatement at best and recapitulation at worst. Otherwise you fail to explain how a boss can complain that his subordinates are standing in the way of reforms and he in return only promises to slap them on the wrist aka TAMING them.
  
  The truth is nothing has changed and the objectives behind last poll’s fiasco remain very much the same. You don’t subject yourself to international ridicule only to turn around and surrender to the pressure from the same quarters. Unless you are a permanent resident of DENIAL PARADISE, like many faceless apologists here.
  
  The political will died before 2005 referendum and is yet to resurrect. Forget about the lofty and academic three-tier approach being peddled in the face of obtuse impunity.
  
  We are collectively living the beautiful national lie. In the meantime communities are arming to sort themselves once and for all in about 25 months from now. We haven't seen anything yet.Kumekucha

  
  

• Hague Express: Heat is on, Goalposts Shifting

  Posted: October 6, 2009, 6:00 pm by Taabu

  Parliament has been reigning supreme. They demanded Ringera's head and they got the Judge's scalp. MPs demanded The Hague. They reminded all and sundry not to be vague but instead choose The Hague. Well, prayer answered and so Hague here we come. But not just yet, we will board that jalopy to Netherlands at our own pace.
  
  Obama can eat his heart and take care not to suffer constipation. Hit kite won’t fly and the balloon sent to us in the name of Kofi Annan is at the mercy of our sharp pins. It is such a huge shame for a whoole ex-UN boss to shamelessly stoop so low to an extent of criticizing our president on his EXECUTIVE appointments.
  
  It is the height of pettiness for Annan to globalize our tribal governance. He needs to understand that Kenya is for Kenyans and only we can change at our own pace. The impressive report of 90% pass warrants appreciation. The accelerated judicial reforms will render Luis Moreno-Ocampo jobless and all his hitherto bravado will be irrelevant at best and hot air at worst.
  
  Kofi Annan must have met a very different Martha Karua from the one he dealt with just a year ago. He can as well use that single sample to generalize our collective national propensity to deceit. The boot is in the other boot which reminds you of yesterday reform champions turned present day masters of impunity - it is our time to eat.
  
  We are so dynamic as a country we change the goalposts as appropriate. Those who have been shouting themselves hoarse about The Hague are now staring the real prospect of joining Charles Taylor sooner than they imagined.
  
  One wonders who the members of this so-called international community are. That red herring can paint itself all the rainbow colours but remain rest assured that Kenya will not give an inch, not even with Michael Renneberger’s loudmouthed gimmicks.
  
  Babysitting octogenarians
  We are so unique and enterprising as a country so much so that we can have IDPs parking four wheel SUVs outside their tents. To us every calamity is an opportunity and we need no MBA from Harvard to exploit an opportunity when we see one.
  
  Our country remains an island of peace in a sea of chaos and those who think otherwise are living in DENIAL PARADISE. Nothing exemplifies our fledging democracy than the fractious coalition trading accusations. Who said the Permanent Committee on the Management of the Grand Coalition cannot reconvene after the Kilaguni fiasco?
  
  Annan came and he will soon leave after the four-day holiday. Ocampo will follow and he too will leave. Meanwhile Kenya remains where they found it. We embarked on project Armageddon in 2007 which must be completed in 2012. We need total extermination so that Kenya can regenerate a fresh.
  
  All other efforts amount to nothing but ego expansion gimmicks. Annan can not re-invent the wheel neither can he go against established natural order by attempting to babysit octogenarians.
  
  Put simple, nobody is going to The Hague anytime soon. Let Annan ask Omar El Bashir.Kumekucha

  
  

• Yes We Can Reform But No Lectures Please

  Posted: October 5, 2009, 2:00 pm by Taabu

  Kofi Annan has landed, breathing fire down our necks and ready to give a progress report for an examination we never sat in the first place. Unfortunately Annan's gloomy assessment is exclusively premised on misinformation and prediction of Armageddon. Otherwise he would readily accept the impressive distinction of 90% pass as graded by our own competent Alfred Mutua, PhD.
  
  Dr. Annan is here but he must be reminded that Kenya is no toddler in need of babysitting. He played his part last February, we appreciated it and he now better learns never to attempt extending the handshake past the elbow.
  
  The US would do themselves a great deal of good in accepting the basic truism that sanctions and threats never work as diplomatic tools. The Americans can keep their laser-guided sanctions to their political labs and spare Kenya uninvited lectures on good governance.
  
  YES WE CAN reform ourselves and our country BUT at our own pace. We are sovereign and independent with a FLAG to boot. Just like we defeated the late Smith Hempstone during his nyama choma gimmicks packaged as advocating for multiparty, the activist Renneberger stands no chance to shake us as a country.
  
  Kenya is no Somalia or Zimbabwe and one Johnny-come-lately Carson better learn to respect his ex-host. Invoking Obama’s name at the sight of every microphone will not make any difference-Kenya is for Kenyans, PERIOD. Michael better revise notes from the late Rogue Ambassador Smith who consorted with the likes of Kamau Kuria and Kiraitu Murungi then.
  
  Laser-guided bans
  We only have one centre of power and the presidency is our singular symbol of UNITY. Uhuru and Murage may have desecrated the hallowed grounds of State House by using it as a venue to plot Naivasha massacres but that does not make the legal tenant guilty by association.
  
  President Kibaki was there and saw it all as an opposition politician. Renneberger’s antics amount to playing a melodious tune to a HE-GOAT, no dance nor nodding. Even the loudmouthed EU and Canada are welcome to jump into that expanded bin of irrelevance.
  
  Make no mistake, we adopted multipartysm at our own pace and nobody can claim otherwise. The world has changed and America’s high handedness will only push us into PRODUCTIVE business with China and Iran. What is more, these fledging economies have plenty of resources and help to help Kenya realize v2030 in light years.
  
  No country but Kenya can have reforms in the constitutional review, land, boundary, police and the Truth, Justice and Reconciliation Commission in less than a year. Add that to the on-going electoral reforms, judiciary, youth employment and National Cohesion and Integration Commission and you are staring an emerging AFRICA TIGER in the face.
  
  The so-called international community needs new names to paint as faces of impunity. One Prof Alston may be showing his post molars in glee after Major Ali quit but that is it. AG Wako has served us diligently for 20 years and nobody is more qualified to be CJ than Gicheru. Sorry the guillotine must run on empty, no more heads.
  
  We are miles ahead of the pack and deserve no patronizing lectures which only succeed in provoking our EXECUTIVE FOUL MOOD.Kumekucha

  
  

• Ringera's Head Off, Next Target Please!

  Posted: September 30, 2009, 9:37 pm by Taabu

  The dragon slayer fell headlong on his own sword. The sharp blades happily kissed his shiny skull. Shakespeare was lost for words. It was a paradigm shift when hitherto bravado conveniently metamorphosed into evangelism. The crestfallen Aaron was a lion both fatally wounded and thoroughly drenched.
  
  But wait a minute, no false jubilation claiming triumph of people's power. Not just yet unless you are politically naive. Kenya has its owners mark you.
  
  Ringera did his part and saved the regime at its most trying moments. What is more, re-election came and went and the rest is history. All the explosive deals have been safely tucked in secure vaults awaiting appointment of a replacement with the right GENES to take the reigns of KACC. Forget about all the noise from the loud MPs.
  
  Bravado readily transforms itself into evangelism in diffult moments. You only write Ringera's epitaph at the risk of overfeeding on humble pie. He was the face of the discredited radical judicial surgery. Well, he may have suffered the pain of blunt scalpel now but the silver headed Justice is headed for greater things. What with 150m guaranteed with no sweat broken?
  
  Clever gimmicks
  Expect an artificial crisis with dual objectives soon-to mask Aaron's departure and create a smokescreen for the rulers to regain the apparent lost political ground. It is typical Kenyan mentality to selectively praise and condemn with expediency as the ultimate goal.
  
  Look no further than this blog where faceless apologists will shamelessly divert attention by violently attacking the messenger while conveniently evading the message. Well, such old tricks stand no chance in hell just like the present rulers scheme using templates of yore to emasculate Kenya.
  
  MPs must not be fooled into chest thumbing. With impunity personified in the two faces of ever-smiling Wako and the Chief Justice, the rag will be speedily pulled under their feet. As the old bad guy movie's signature goes NOBODY MOVES NOBODY GETS HURT. We haven't seen the last moves from our landlords. NA BADO.Kumekucha

  
  

• Ringera’s to Resign in Style, at his Own Pace

  Posted: September 30, 2009, 4:00 pm by Taabu

  The mob won’t relent and leaving Justice Aaron Ringera alone. Neither wil they respect authority of the president. Our own Shakespeare cannot bare it any more and he is destined to jump into the tattered towel. Poor Aaron!
  
  Make no mistake; Justice Ringera is going to have the last longest and sweet laugh thanks to our collective folly. For starters we have to pay for our deafening noise by parting with a cool 150m that Ringera would have earned for the next five years. There is no other way to earn such a colossal sum without breaking a sweat. Forget that silly question about the re-appointment's legitimacy.
  
  What is more, Ringera is just relocating and rejoining the bench. The loudmouthed MPs can eat their hearts out and they must not forget to avoid constipation. Hounding Ringera out of KACC will eventually prove very expensive. The same MPs mourning loudest about contempt for institutions are themselves busy denigrating the presidency and its powers. Shame on them all.
  
  Ringera is not leaving KACC because his position is no longer tenable, whatever that means. The good Judge is miles ahead of the noisy pack. He knows when to quit, at his own pace and on his won terms. The Court of Appeal will be the richer. What with alloyed wisdom housed inside the silver hair? His dragon slaying skills will be handy in cleaning the rotten judiciary, ala radical surgery phase 2.
  
  Watchdog is to guard master
  You see some people are too important to a regime to be joked with. Ringera holds the key to the vaults containing all the explosive dossiers that can destroy a country in a flash. Such national investments like Grand Regency and Anglo Leasing cannot be entrusted to the wrong GENES.
  
  While parliament may sheepishly be showing their post molars in jubilation, they won’t know what hit them soon. KACC will remain headed by the RIGHT PERSON at any given time t, PERIOD.
  
  Very soon Parliament will be reminded that being a watchdog is to guard the master. And all their rulings and deliberations are nothing more than opinions. NA BADO.Kumekucha

  
  

• Polygamy: New Marriage Law Targets Kibaki

  Posted: September 29, 2009, 4:00 pm by Taabu

  Cabinet's attemtp to modernize marriage by legalizing polygamy amounts to opening a Pandora box to say the least. The demons crawling from that box would be so scary to imagine leave alone see. Imagine Mary Wambui taking cue from Jane Kanyotu!
  
  The cabinet is at it again, pulling another fast one that will only invite President Kibaki's foul mood. Instead of focusing on weighty issues geared towards feeding the starving nation, here they are brandishing a smokescreen in the name of modern marriage law.
  
  The irony of legalizing come-we-stay and allowing polygamy is a sure recipe for domestic anarchy. While it may sound modern by demanding the rich spouse to support his/her partner, introducing plural matrimony is to wreck havoc in the same homes they intend to protect.
  
  Just imagine if Mary Wambui were to stake a claim due to obvious reasons. The cabinet is upto no good by compounding Kibaki's already RED mood with Uncle Sam by rubbing the raw family feud. With our ministers' propensity to have mistresses in every corner of the country, the courts are destined to be very busy besides official raiding of media houses.Kumekucha

  
  

• Kibaki Calls Obama Bluff, Opens Battle Front

  Posted: September 26, 2009, 2:00 pm by Taabu

  As the DULY elected president of Kenya, Kibaki did what he is constitutionally mandated to do. HE took the oath to protect Kenya’s constitution and her people and he has just done that but reminding Obama of the internationally accepted diplomatic boundaries.
  
  Johnny Carson may claim to know more about Kenya than Kibaki but the later is the PRESIDENT, period. Kibaki cannot just sit on his hands let his lieutenants be bullied by Uncle Sam, never. Moreso when the targets are his right hand men, the people who hold the levers of REAL POWER behind his throne.
  
  Raila lost his patriotic badget when he failed to tongue-lash America on their latest bullying antics of our hard-working, diligent politicians and civil servants. Instead, the PM shamelessly appeared to support REVERSE IMPUNITY from US lording on us. No wonder Mickuki led a walkout on him in one of the Diaspora talks. America is no heaven and we remain an independent state in no need of patronage.
  
  Renneberger no Hempstone
  So are we back to the 1990s when the self-styled rogue ambassador Smith Hempstone consorted with dissidents and rilling Moi to the bone? No chance. Make no mistake, Kibaki is no Moi. And who said Kibaki is a coward and spineless? Well, he has drawn the boundary clearly on sand. No pride, no dignity and no shame. The Republican Renneberger may have just handed himself the noose. His misadvising Washington may backfire big time.
  
  Kibaki has made it abundantly clear that we will not take hostages as pretenders of good governance under the excuse of fighting impunity. Kenyans are not complaining about their diligent and HARD WORKING leaders so America must keep their uninvited lectures to themselves.
  
  As for Raila, he has inadvertently set the political bridge ablaze. He has bitten the political hand feeding him. Brace yourself for another round of PNU-ODM bickering and stalemate. And this time PNU can count on Ruto and Bett. NA BADO.Kumekucha

  
  

• US Puts 15 Kings of Impunity on the Spot

  Posted: September 24, 2009, 1:50 pm by Taabu

  
  The big brother is out and breathing fire on the neck of lords of Kenya. But before Michael Renneberger and his predecessor and sidekick Johnny Carson spits fire, one is left yawning given the past heat that left no light.
  
  Threatening sanctions to 15 kings of impunity without publicly naming them is akin to another Kofi Annan-like secret envelope. Leaves you wondering what these people fear so much in naming saboteurs. And that opens the floodgates once more for us to don that tattered gab of patriotism in blind defense.
  
  US must be naive to slap travel ban on landlords likes Muthaura and Uhuru. They even have the temerity to ask for Gicheru head even after the good justice saved Kenya from herself by swearing Kibaki at midnight. They will be awaken to a rude shock when they realize who the real RULERS and shakers of power are in Kenya
  
  Trusted Daily Nation
  But uncle Sam and Renneberger better pad their skin for the predictable tongue-lashing from regime apologists masquerading as patriots . Sovereignty is a common and apt word in such times. The script will run like this: Kenya is an independent state and we need no lecturers. And bloggers here will take it a notch higher reminding all and sundry that we have gone East.
  
  Renneberger should know better, Kenya has its owners and no amount of noise NOT even rivers of blood can stop their evil schemes to auction the country. What is more, all the key posts are held by the right genes and they collectively form that critical evil mass to destruction. NA BADO.Kumekucha

  
  

• Ringera Tells KACC Board Off, he’s no Wanjala

  Posted: September 23, 2009, 9:00 pm by Taabu

  
  This national obsession to embarrass President Kibaki must stop. After the MPs’ antic, now the KACC board is playing to the full gallery by waxing legalistic. But they met their Waterloo in Justice Aaron Ringera who reminded the excited bunch that he is no Dr Smokin Wanjala. The law don is better advised to stop inhaling whatever herb he has been smoking.
  
  By inducing Ringera and his deputy Ms Sichale to resign or re-apply after their positions are advertised, the board had their bullets singularly trained on Kibaki albeit via proxy. Well, President Kibaki has seen it all and has been there and back. Nobody knows the game better than him. Very soon all the loud mouth will be permanently zipped as he enjoys the last and longest laugh all the way to 2012.
  
  Kenya’s politics shifts with every one of the 42+ indigenous dialects. The hitherto fire-breathing MPs will come for the November parliamentary session both ethnically mellowed and fatigued. The Mau-for-Ringera preface shall have turned into an irresistible thriller.
  
  Professional buffoons
  The KACC board has proved to be nothing but a bunch of professional buffoons. They have been ADVISING through the media who never appointed them. What is more, payment for advertising Ringera’s post must be approved by the dragon slayer himself. And they thought our native Shakespeare is stupid to naively place his head on the chopping block?
  
  Vision 2030 and 2012 are both twined to KACC. Kibaki is no fool to let activists ruin his plans, NEVER. The stakes are sky-high and no amount of noise will stop the gravy train from docking come 2012 and beyond. Not even the two loudmouthed musketeers in Michael Ranneberger and Luis Moreno-Ocampo. NA BADO.Kumekucha

  
  

• Poor KACC No.2 Resigns, Next Head Please!

  Posted: September 18, 2009, 12:45 pm by Taabu

  
  The resignation of Dr. Smokin Wanjala as KACC’s deputy director in charge of preventive services shows he is a political feather weight. Dr. Wanjala can choose to wax spiritual in defending his dignity but his gimmicks only succeeds in soothing his academic ego. The real target of MPs remain the dragon slayer Ringera who is staying PUT.
  
  Wanjala must have lived in outer space and he just landed into alien Kenyan political landscape. You see on these shores of the planet we give conscience abundant leave and public pressure and opinion a wide berth. The Anglo Leasing stakes are too high to prod Shakespeare Ringera into even contemplating resignation.
  
  Some dockets in the present regime are TOO SENSITIVE and IMPORTANT to be entrusted to aliens. A look at treasury, CBK and internal security will disabuse doubting Thomases of any trace of pretense otherwise.
  
  Dr. Wanjala's resignation will definitely NOT rattle the ruling reptiles. Surely dinosaurs never learn. All the old gimmick of scheming for 2012 using state power will come tumbling down like dominoes. We are in the 21st Century and the village brilliance of yore will bring the same bloodshed just like insensitive electoral theft of 2007.
  
  Denial must be a fortress for its faithful residence. As Chris posted earlier, the BATTLE ROYALE of 2012 will make the 2007 preface fade into irrelevance. Ringera is going nowhere, MTA DO?Kumekucha

  
  

• Ringera Round One: Kibaki 10, MPs Nil

  Posted: September 17, 2009, 6:00 pm by Taabu

  
  Kibaki is in REAL foul mood. And he rarely acquires that stench of a mood unless the picky Kenyan press dares upset Lucy. Now the MPs have left all the hair strands at the back of Kibaki's neck standing and stiffly so. Woe unto the next head his axe will land on.
  
  MPs will live to rue the day they subjected Kenya's CEO to ridicule. As they adjourned, the loudmouthed lot were all glee in embarrassing the President oblivious of his last sweetest and longest laugh.
  
  Ringera is not going anywhere, WATA DO? Time heals all wounds and Kibaki knows it better than any voluble Kenyan politician. Come next parliamentary session in November and the warthogs shall have forgotten everything including their unpleasant faces.
  
  What's more, the myriad political alliances shall have mutated into all the rainbow colours hence promptly relegating the present heat to political archives. Surely, there are no permanent friends nor foes in politics. Instead the permanent selfish interest of trading Mau for Ringera is a profitable and bankable deal. NA BADO.Kumekucha

  
  

• Ringera: Kibaki, VP Right, MPs Disrespectful

  Posted: September 15, 2009, 8:00 pm by Taabu

  
  The loudmouthed MPs must have chewed more than they can swallow. After disrespecting the President and subjecting him to ridicule on Ringera, the MPs are now destined to meet they collective Waterloo.
  
  Speaker Marende has opened a Pandora box and all the demons are fighting to snuff life out of Kenya. As the VP succinctly put it, Marende is not only watering the seeds of constitutional impasse but he is shamelessly undermining the president who remains the singular head of state and government.
  
  No more parliamentary dictatorship. Uhuru’s REALPOLITIK will carry the day. The ungrateful nominated MP Amina Abdalla who chairs Parliament’s Delegated Legislation Committee will be taught the lesson to never bite the political hands feeding her.
  
  The last laugh is surely the longest and sweetest. Kibaki has been there and seen it all. Ringera is going nowhere and the voluble MPs are better advised to prepare their stomachs for constipation from humble pie. Kenya has its owners and the MPs must not pretend otherwise.Kumekucha

  
  

• Kibaki Fires Police Boss, Rewards Major Ali

  Posted: September 9, 2009, 8:00 am by Taabu

  
  By firing Major Ali, President Kibaki has called Kumekucha's April 1 post bluff. Well, it is not foolish to play the game and score five months later.
  
  What a political genius President Kibaki is? With the musical chair rewarding Major Ali with Posta CEO job while pretending to have fired him as police boss, he has taken the wind off the sail of furore over Ringera's reappointment.
  
  Give it to one Mzee Muthaura. The government was tottering in brink of collapse for the few weeks he was hospitalized. But thank God for his recovery. Now the heat is back and the octogenarian diplomat is destined to fix things in no time.
  
  Where is the loudmouthed Prof. Alston? The UN activist wanted Ali, Wako and Ringera removed. Now with the typical Kenyan token gesture, Ali has been cleverly sacrificed to create an impression of action with no actual movement. He can eat his heart out. As for Kenyans, they can as well resign to being tenants to the real landlords. MTA DO?
  
  All the noise about police reforms have been nipped in the bud. Kibaki's former security commandant Iteere is the new police boss. Under him are flower assistants charged with reforms, chapter closed.
  
  Nobody understands Kenyans better than Kibaki. Aware of our short memory, he has fired and rewarded Major Ali. And with that singular stroke of genius Ringera is securely fenced from attacks as we gleefully jump to the next hot issue before us. OLE WETU.Kumekucha

  
  

• Ringera to Remain KACC Boss, MTA DO?

  Posted: September 3, 2009, 8:00 pm by Taabu

  The so-called national outrage over President Kibaki’s decision to UNILATERALLY re-appoint Justice Aaron Ringera as KACC boss is both misplaced and mischievous. Kibaki acted within the law and the dreamers are better reminded that there is only one centre of power occupied exclusively by President Kibaki.
  
  ODM has been wrong footed once more. Just like when they continued with protests on December 30, 2007 and Kibaki was taking his oath of office. While ODM was drowning in celebrating their inconsequential by-election victories, Kibaki pulled the plug once again to show them who the real boss is.
  
  Meanwhile ODM's serial activists are busy disowning collective responsibility in their petty effort to play to the excited gallery. Well, Kibaki knows REALPOLIK and he has both his eyes and hands on the trophy.
  
  That mob in parliament cannot be taken seriously either with their obsession to turn Kenya into a parliamentary dictatorship. Kibaki was legally sworn in by the Chief Justice to uphold the law and that he is simply practicing what he is constitutionally mandated to do. Kibaki never co-held the Bible with anybody and therefore needs nobody’s approval to re-appoint the eloquent and unrivalled dragon slayer.
  
  Ringera is the best KACC Kenya will ever have. He knows what to protect and Kibaki knows better than appointing a hot head who will disturb business flow with nosy investigations. We are a working nation and with a vision to eradicate darkness and famine by 2030.
  
  Saintly VP
  The so-called KACC advisory board must be condemned for being disrespectful to the head of state. Basic logic would inform them that the word advisory simply implies answerable to a higher authority who can chose to make decision with no reference to them. It is foolish for the hecklers to attempt biting the very hand feeding them.
  
  All pretenders criticizing Kibaki on hollow legal grounds better listen to the Justice Minister who knows what it means to defend a president. These loudmouthed even shamelessly ignore the wise counsel of the brilliant, untainted and saintly VP.
  
  Kibaki is right to reappoint Ringera. Aaron has no equal in slaying dragons and waxing Shakespearian. Only him could author and execute the radical judicial surgery. What is more, his ingenuity saw him discover divine intervention to fight graft without firing a short or spending any of our scarce resources. Speak of a genius.
  
  All the noise on Ringera’s re-appointment will only succeed in vindicating Kibaki’s contempt for Kenyans’ pettiness.Kumekucha

  
  

• Bomachoge, Shinyalu: Kibaki's True Leadership

  Posted: August 31, 2009, 7:00 pm by Taabu

  While ODM drowns in victory after winning the latest two by-elections, a poignant message lost in the celebratory heat is the above-fray leadership shown by President Kibaki. He left PNU to its own devices and chose not to reduce himself to petty and partisan politicking.
  
  True leadership from the front and by example is practiced and not preached. And Kibaki has just raised the bar to the sky. In any case after WINNING his final term in 2007, he has no political business to conduct in either Shinyalu or Bomachoge.
  
  PNU chair Prof G. K. K. Saitoti tried his best but fell short. But there is no need cause for alarm since ODM capturing Bomachoge from PNU reverses the political equation to what it was before the former lost Embakassi to the later. Game draw and now we can concentrate on our working nation before another holiday is declared to celebrate census results.
  
  The more things change politically the more they retrogress. Well bloggers here have been waxing patriotic demanding political lullabies in the name of solutions without first dissecting the present rot. The by-elections have provided them with more than enough as evident in the emerging destructive so-called Kalonzo-effect that has just entered out political lexicon.
  
  One thing is for sure, you don’t WIN a presidency at all costs and disturb your peace thereafter with politically inconsequential by-elections. Kenya made the turn in December 2007 and we will never the same again. Sorry to disappoint pretenders in search of evangelism.Kumekucha

  
  

• Working Nation's Holiday to Count Tribes

  Posted: August 24, 2009, 4:00 pm by Taabu

  News update
  The 2009 census exercise has kicked off to a storm when enumerators incited President Kibaki's foul mood when they asked him about the actual size of his family. The head of state was not amused especially when asked to specify his spouse/s. Heads will definitely roll at the bureau of statistics.
  
  ********************************
  Working Nation Takes Holiday to Count Tensed Tribes
  It is census time and Kenyan style a holiday has been declared for this historic exercise. But while knowledge of demographics and all its varianst are important for national planning, do we have to resort to many holidays for our working nation?
  
  This will be the fifth census for Kenya since 1969. Just like all other institutions and activities we inherited from the colonialist, we have not KENYANIZED our census apart from counting native faces. The 10-yearly exercise has simplye been reduced to a national ritual.
  
  Before apologists fall over themselves throwing epithets in defense of thoughtlessness they better try a honest reflection. We don't have to operate like robots to answer to the 10 year timetable in counting deeply divided tribes.
  
  Typical Moi took it to extreme levels by creating non-existent subtribes for pure political expediency among perceived oppositionists. On the other hand he came up with mega-tribes to boost political supremacy. Just ask yourselves what is common among the Pokots or Turkans with the Nandis apart from being Nilotes.
  
  The whole census exercie leaves you with the gut feeling that it is just another conduit for the politically correct to draw some more blood from prey Kenya. The country is so divided and tensed, counting tribes would be the last agenda on any leader worth his name.
  
  But hey, this is Kenya owned and patented by political scoundrels. We are so unique we heal when tensed by being reminded that we are different.Kumekucha

  
  

• Masters of Duplicity, Perils of Parallel Actions

  Posted: August 21, 2009, 7:00 pm by Taabu

  
  The term figurehead had never acquired a poignant meaning in Kenyan political lexicon. The two centres of power are really working overtime to create a false picture of harmony. Well, evidence and history will leave those young or naive enough to trust the gimmicks really disappointed.
  
  The last few weeks have witnessed tough talk and directives that are designed to be ignored and never followed. Only in Kenya do you have a commander-in-chief issuing an edict for immediate eviction but no subsequent actions by his subordinated to effect the same. We heard the confirmation that Migingo is Kenya’s ruled by Uganda who have declared no census on the island come next Monday.
  
  And the evil of parallel authorities serving selfish interest doesn’t stop there. On paper there is only one Kenya Police but the reality confirms two forces. While Major Ali heads the regular police wing, ex-Nakuru DC Kinuthia Mbugua is busy arming and modernizing the AP wing for obvious reasons. Besides parallel commands, the two bosses owe their loyalty to different individuals and not the institutions they lead.
  
  Misplaced enthusiasm
  Meanwhile the PM has been handed a sturdy velvet noose. Poor man! He is meant to coordinate and supervise some painful and unpopular activities by ministers already scheming for 2012. How I would love to be proved wrong but I fear not.
  
  Raila’s enthusiasm will be severely fatigued and frustrated by vested interests. The history of such a disappointment is just months past when he was reminded that Muhoho is not ordinary. Meanwhile let living in serial denial mutate into all its known and unknown variants.Kumekucha

  
  

• Begging With Exotic, Golden-Plated Bowl

  Posted: August 19, 2009, 9:30 pm by Taabu

  
  We are not a failed state. We are sovereign and we have told every patronizing neo-colonialist just as much. We need no lectures from foreigners. But hey, here we come gold-plated bowl in hand begging for food lest we go extinct from hunger.
  
  The international community must help us save souls otherwise we will have NOBODY to count come census day on August 24. And they must do so with no strings attached because soon we will be on our own feet once we DISCOVER alternative and safe sources of energy that can provide power and water to our homes and industries.
  
  The 40 plus Cabinet Ministers are working overtime to help us manage these crises. They need unwavering support from all patriotic Kenyans. Let us help save Kenya from herself please.Kumekucha

  
  

• Fallacy of Power Sharing, Two Centres of Power

  Posted: August 19, 2009, 6:00 pm by Taabu

  
  You know you are a failed state when the country’s institution constituted to fight corruption abdicates its responsibility and instead seeks divine intervention to achieve that mandate. They should resign so that we appoint Cardinal Njue to head KACC for free. Boy, aren’t we geniuses who can afford the cheek to mock God together with the Holy Book? That is Kenya for you and we are erratically matching on to vision 2030.
  
  Almost 50 years after FLAG independence, our original quest to conquer the trio menace of hunger, disease and ignorance has been overcome only in tons of paper and no result to show for the gimmicks. Meanwhile the politicos are all dreaming and scheming on how to share raw power.
  
  Power rationing must never be mistaken for power sharing. Power abhors vacuum and all the eloquence in articulating new vision amounts to nothing but hot air designed to expand political egos. The truth is with limping institutions, Kenya is only cheating herself by making impression of motions bereft of any meaningful movement.
  
  Mocking God
  The numerous political posturing in the last two months can only be traced to PS Muthaura’s hospitalization and subsequent recuperation. Everybody is jostling to fill the void he left. But soon the schemers will come crashing down when the real power levers revert to the rightful owners.
  
  We are not permanently warming hellhole's bottom because of lack of glossy blue prints. It is the acute dearth of political will. The current crop of leaders is only entertaining us with circular motions.
  
  With their theatrics, the distance covered may be enormous but unfortunately the true displacement remains ZERO. We will eventually arrive at the starting point very exhausted.
  
  Aborted revolution
  Look around you what do see, paralysis and anarchy galore. Basic necessities such as water, energy, food and security have been cheaply branded emergencies. What is more, 10 days after an EXECUTIVE order from the commander-in-chief to evict forest settlers nobody moves, nobody cares what the political rant was all about.
  
  Well, political IMPOTENCE and MORAL DEATH manifests itself in numerous forms and shapes. We must re-invent ourselves fast politically before 2012 after our 2002 revolution was aborted. OLE WETU.Kumekucha

  
  

• Is Imanyara Fighting Impunity or Kibaki?

  Posted: August 17, 2009, 7:00 pm by Taabu

  
  Honourable Gitobu Imanyara has crafted a private member’s bill seeking to establish a local tribunal to try PEV perpetrators. This comes after MPs unanimously shot down Martha Karua’s bill proposing the same. What is more, they threatened a repeat performance to Mutula Kilonzo. The turnaround amounts to liking the message but hating the messenger or grabbing ownership of what you hitherto loothed.
  
  Imanyara’s bill comes with the knockout punch that specifically strips the president of immunity. He says his singular goal is to end impunity. So the question follows whether he equates the reigning impunity to the person of the president.
  
  Don’t be vague, let’s go to The Hague was the clarion call of the heard in parliament. They chanted and shouted themselves hoarse but in the long run to show the MPs who the real bosses were, the cabinet disabused them of any pretensions of power and came with the TJRC gimmick.
  
  Imanyara and his ilk may mean all the good things for Kenya. But one is left wondering whether personalizing the crusade against an individual and not the office takes the wind off the legal sails.
  
  Parliamentary dictatorship
  What is more, Imanyara intends to give MPs the exclusive power of parliament, executive and judiciary all to themselves. They will debate, legislate and enact the bill without reference to any other branch of government. One would wish MPs were that objective and honest to be trusted with this parliamentary dictatorship.
  
  This impunity hydra mutates into many shapes and forms. Granted, any Kenyan suffocating from yoke would readily and unreservedly support anybody with a blade aimed at any of the monster's many heads. But the double standards and hypocrisy leaves you fearful of another mutant masquerading as a saviour. NA BADO.Kumekucha

  
  

• Fare Thee Well Maruge, Face of Courage

  Posted: August 14, 2009, 8:30 pm by Taabu

  
  Mzee Kimani Ng’ang’a Maruge, the Guinness World Record holder for being the oldest student, has succumbed to cancer aged 89. He lived his course and in his death Kenya has lost a resilient face of determination and perseverance.
  
  Enrolling in class one at the age of 84, Maruge was courage unrivalled. He may not have realized his dream to complete primary education, but Mzee Maruge epitomized pure DETERMINATION.
  
  Maruge surely and bravely breathed new life into the cliche IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO TRY. Fare thee well Kimani.Kumekucha

  
  

• Kibaki on Mau Warpath, Kenya Turning Corner

  Posted: August 13, 2009, 8:00 pm by Taabu

  
  The General has given eviction orders. In one firm action, President Kibaki has emphatically ordered all Mau settlers out. And he is not done yet. Failing to obey will see you arraigned before court. That is pure leadership from the front and by example. So who said we lack leadership?
  
  President Kibaki couldn’t have been more inclusive. He first met Rift Valley MPs two weeks ago to discuss the forest evictions and national healing. Kenyans must be prepared to usher in new dawn, thanks to Kibaki. We must learn to start revering our own prophet at home lest we loose him to other deserving nations.
  
  Kibaki’s blade will crack all thieving skulls. His unselfish actions will not spare anybody, not even ex-president Moi and AP commandant (ex-DC, Nakuru) Kinuthia Mbugua who together own more than a district hived off Mau.
  
  Desperate times calls for firm actions to confront challenges and Kibaki has just done that. Soon, the starving 5m Kenyans will be sufficiently fed and Kenyans will kiss goodbye to power rationing thanks to Kibaki’s foresight.
  
  The electoral reforms seminar at KICC provided the launching pad. The Honorable VP aptly summed it up when he eloquently and diplomatically reminded us all was not lost with the unfortunate madness of 2007. We just slipped and forward-looking Kenyans have seized the opportunity to MOVE ON in securing a bright future for themselves.
  
  What is more, we are cruising on the superhighway to modernism with automated voting. The shame and grime we visited upon ourselves from the flawed electoral process is history. The President himself vowed at KICC that Kenya will never see the kind of violence that followed the 2007 poll. And with the power bestowed on him, knows what he is talking about and he will deliver.
  
  Saving best for last
  Election manipulators are better advised to seek exile. We have no more room presiding officers who come to Nairobi with one set of results, detour to their homes and evaporate in the thin air. No more computer geeks who get inside computers magically alter data.
  
  Kibaki couldn’t have come out so forcefully at the right time. He has effectively killed two precious birds with his single action. He has put golden letters to his legacy and saved Kenya from self-destruction. All he needs is our collective support.
  
  With that magic wand, Kibaki’s actions have banished the evils of vote rigging, electoral malpractices and bloodshed. HE has come out in his best element and woe unto political hangers on. No more deodorant would have been effect in sanitizing our polluted social and political environment following the bungled 2007. Bye to impunity, cronysm, political intolerance and primitive ethnicity.
  
  A WISE good leader is a constant source of overflowing optimism in the face of famine, water shortages and power rationing. Folks, a new dawn is here and we owe it to Kibaki. In return he needs our unwavering support. He surely saved his best for the last - FOR US.Kumekucha

  
  

• Electoral Reforms Mirage from Dinosaurs

  Posted: August 12, 2009, 8:00 pm by Taabu

  We are not in the present hell hole for lack of brilliant ideas but failure to utilize them because of political expediency. The trio famine, ignorance and disease that defined our independence clarion call remain a mirage. The useless and myriad commissions and committees continue to suffocate Kenyans.
  
  The new Ahmed Hassan-led IIEC outfit is composed of brilliant Kenyans and already they have shown what they are capable of doing. But it is not what is put on paper that counts when the power wielders can trash anything thanks to obtuse impunity. We only fool ourselves by going in circles in search of solutions only to come out with same old stuff packaged differently.
  
  The easily excitable scoundrels are all glee with the workings of electronic voting. But these are the same people whose cronies penetrated the discredited ECK and abandoned the use of computers and shamelessly opted for manual counting to facilitate voting fraud.
  
  Granted, the evils of ethnicity, irresponsible utterances by politicians and media sensationalism played part in 2007’s PEV. But it is typical Kenyan trait to live the coloured lie in failing to accept responsibility for the action that triggered the near-Armageddon.
  
  Critical mass
  The more things change the more they really remain the same. But one thing is for sure, these dinosaurs speak of reluctantly speak of reforms which has succeeded in fueling Kenyans need of true change. No amount of procrastination will buy them time when we acquire that critical mass.
  
  They bastardized Kenya's democracy and seeing the same faces participating in a mock voting exercise amounts to salting our national raw wounds. It is impossible to author any new order out of the present quagmire with these dinosaurs in charge.
  
  Before you know it the real power brokers will have mint spanners in the works with eyes singularly trained for a repeat performance in 2012 albeit with a different face holding the bible in darkness.
  
  Kenya is overflowing with enthusiasm for REAL REFORMS but the acute lack of both leadership and political will is our singular bane. Look no further than the forgotten IDPs who be become but a footnote as politicians selfishly scheme for 2012.Kumekucha

  
  

• Famine Crisis: Time for Vultures to Scavenge

  Posted: August 11, 2009, 8:30 pm by Taabu

  
  At the risk of being branded a doom sayer, past experience points to another opportunity for enterprising Kenyan leaders to make a killing over the present famine crisis. Times like these will prod the best thieving minds with power and money to import maize duty free and hoard it to create artificial shortage.
  
  With no singular virtue defining us as Kenyans, expect the political and economic vultures to circle the carcass as they suck the last drop of blood. And lest we forget, all the WAR TIME theatrics are all clever gimmicks crafted with no intention of any real movement.
  
  The plastic motions to confront famine whose symptoms have been staring us in the face for more than a year are smart ploy to cool off from Mau and stillborn TJRC. After doing commerce with Kenya’s dying masses, trust the scoundrels to manufacture another crisis to postpone Hague and Mau.
  
  Here we are as a country with top notch academicians and well-paid parastatal heads now running like headless chicken as Kenyans starve to death. And to soothe tribal egos we shout ourselves hoarse about self-financing our national budget. Add to that the mirage of vision 2030 and you get a soothing melody that sends a whole nation to their collective death bed.
  
  Leaking moral fibre
  The genesis of all ailments afflicting Kenya is principally traceable to acute lack of leadership. Instead of confronting challenges, what we have are half-measures to deodorize stinking rot underneath. The moral fibre is so much shredded none of its threads can withstand any iota of credibility.
  
  Meanwhile the next looting and thieving frenzy will start with the duty-free importation of maize. Take it a step further and you have the big boys importing phantom standby generators meant to ease power rationing. These are the fraudulent schemes of vices that define us as a nation.
  
  All else are political theatrics designed to keep us engaged and enslaved to the present rot. NA BADO.Kumekucha

  
  

• Famine Top Excuse, Mau and TJRC Relagated

  Posted: August 10, 2009, 12:00 am by Taabu

  Just when the noose was tightening around the cabinet following their contemptuous decision to force TJRC down the throats of Kenyans, they have just up gradated the debilitating famine to a convenient emergency. Our smart political Alecs never suffers the dearth of creative ideas to disguise challenges before them.
  
  With donors not buying the TJRC facade and promising no funding, the kite lost both wings before leaving the ground. Forget all the balderdash that we finance our national budget. That phantom declaration is principally aimed to create a sense of false pride among Kenyans as the looters go on a spree emptying our national coffers and auctioning Kenya to Libyans.
  
  Look at Mau and the dirty tricks involved. While one side of the administration is left to do the heavy lifting, the other consorts with the same MPs hell bent on reaping maximum political capital at the expense of conservation. Inciting Mau peasants is easy for politicians who in real sense are protecting their own selfish interests at our national expense.
  
  Raila may have just been unwittingly handed the velvet political noose. The Jewish folklore of fattening a lamb before sacrificing it has never been so prophetic. The Mau crisis was one that was started with the singular purpose of not solving it.
  
  24-hour courts
  You don’t expect Moi and Kinuthia Mbugua to vacate their large farms guarded by GSU just like that. Kenya has its owners. The parameters for dealing with the Kenyan masses and the masters are different as day and night.
  
  The Cabinet must be smiling from ear to ear for the godsend DISCOVERY of famine that will soon make all of us forget any traces of impunity. Meanwhile the pests continue sucking our last drop of blood as they grandiose paper proposals. After the 24-hour economy now comes grandiose 24-hour court sessions. What next? NA BADO.Kumekucha

  
  

• Evil Trinity: Contempt, Impunity and Immunity

  Posted: August 9, 2009, 8:00 pm by Taabu

  Let the truth be told, the unspoken utmost fear is President Kibaki being held personally responsible as commander-in-chief for all the post election violence. When the security machinery kills RIOTERS, the buck stops at the Commander-in-Chief who must have overtly or covertly given those orders.
  
  You can choose to bury your head in the sand in denial all you care but only one person MUST be held responsible for the breakdown in law and order and the subsequent bloodshed in the control of lawlessness. Only the state has monopoly of violence. Hiding under two-wrongs-make-a-right facade is a cheap short at security in numbers gimmick.
  
  Apologists to the present regime can hide under truncated ICC mandate but not for long. Most Kenyans are comfortable serially living national lies. We are allergic to making hard decisions no matter the challenge facing us. What to do, someone else (read The Hague) must come and clean up our messes.
  
  We can circumscribe all the beautiful circular motions we want but twisting the nasty truth will not make it vanish. The NSIS saw it coming and promptly warned the relevant offices. And what did they do? Well, the script had been crafted and rehearsed. No amount of dire warning would let the National Security Council (no pizes for guessing its members) change tact or give in. Kenya has its owners and we all unwittingly dissects the effects ignoring the 2007 cause.
  
  Settling for a suboptimal compromise singularly crafted to please selfish competing interests of tribal warlords is a kin to neatly bottling a deadly apocalypse. Soon the deceptive threads will give way and the red river of blood will flow fast and furious. But scoundrels would prefer to baptize a grave as a rut oblivious of the fact that the true difference lies only in their dimensions.
  
  Evil reign
  The ghosts born in December 2007 are growing bigger and won’t exit our borders any time soon. Faint hearts bred on deception would cheaply brand that whining. Well, living in self-denial is the genesis of self-destruction.
  
  We speak of impunity as if it is some alien object from outer space. Nothing epitomizes impunity more than the obtuse contempt Cabinet shoved down the throat of Kenyans by opting for the phantom TJRC headed by pretenders and peddlers of diplomatic/peace CVs.
  
  The cabinet is simply telling Waki and the selfish, querulous bunch of MPs who the boss is - UTA DO? What is more, the cabinet’s fear for MPs is an extrapolation of bastardized democracy as expertly engineered during the 2007 polls.
  
  The MPs may have thought they had the executive by the balls. Not quite when the executive is the alpha and omega as originators of impunity. Even Imanyara’s well-meaning manoeuvre to set up a local tribunal independently by parliament while bypassing the presidency is a kite without wings. The hitherto absolute and abject fear of the Tenth Parliament has been turned on its head. No surprise here.
  
  Of whiners and pretenders
  Pretender here often hide under platitudes in re-defining ICC mandate oblivious of the naked fact that their poorly disguised concept of presidential immunity is a dead end under international crime context. Refusing to look the ugly truth in the face only succeeds in postponing the inevitable explosion.
  
  While the genuine IDPs remain relegated to the footnotes of present leadership, we shamelessly applaud their fraudulent political schemes. If not fattening an opponent before political slaughter, our political masters dream of unholy alliances of tribal warlords. Well, the joke is squarely resting on our heads.
  
  The evil trinity of impunity, contempt and immunity is what accurately defines the mindset of our past and present rulers. All else are sideshows and acts meant to propagate the same selfish interests. The saving grace it that the wishes of majority of Kenyans for The Hague trials will eventually come. Only that the present pretenders are expensively buying time, but not forever.Kumekucha

  
  

• Bye Hilary Clinton, You’re Obama’s Catapult

  Posted: August 6, 2009, 9:00 pm by Taabu

  She came, shouted herself hoarse and left plenty of heat with no trace of light. Hilary Clinton was such a powerful catapult for Obama who will not reduce himself to gracing our shores soon. And as predictable as the sun sets in the east Hilary took the moral high ground delivering great lecture to an unwilling audience.
  
  Her theatrics are over and we are back to own ways. Hilary and Obama are better advised that no amount of noise will make us deviate from our goals. They must know that post election violence which they often exploit to as a pretext to harass us is our exclusive making.
  
  We know the colour and taste our own blood better and we have more pressing issues like IDPs to settle instead of watching video links from Washington. Clinton can shout all the much she cares about reforms but we know we have our own IRON LADY Martha who is real steel with the penchant to never taking hostages nor suffering fools lightly.
  
  POTUS and PORK
  So POTUS Barack Obama takes the relationship with Kenya very seriously and very personally? So what? Yes he can mouth all the platitudes but he cannot hold any candle to our own PORK who was already a don when he was born.
  
  US should be the last country to lecture anybody on impunity. And we are miles ahead of them in terms of human rights and good governance. Look who between Kenya and US is a signatory to the Rome Statute.
  
  So Hilary waxes democratic and articulate by reminding us that fighting impunity is like a rite of passage and the only road forward. So what, we have heard that before. In fact we are treading that bloody road since December 2007. Leta ingine.Kumekucha

  
  

• America Must Leave Kenya to Bleed Herself

  Posted: August 4, 2009, 7:30 pm by Taabu

  So US foreign secretary Hilary Clinton has arrived and even before opening her mouth Kenya is the recipient of all barbs. Already Johnnie Carson is breathing fire and brimstone. The good ex-envoy to Nairobi is wielding the proverbial big stick singling our Wako and Aaron Ringera for thrashing.
  
  Clinton will come, kick all the dust, generate all the heat and leave us with no light. And the bogeyman Carson must not belittle the world-renown lawyer Wako whose unique and sharp intellect Kenya has been lucky to enjoy for close to two decades. Johnnie needs to ask East Timorese what a brilliant legal mind Wako is before he suffers the wrath of permanent smile.
  
  By attacking Ringera, America is becoming a global activist serving the interest of our numerous selfish NGOs. The dragon slayer is one smart lawyer whose Shakespearean pedigree is unrivalled. Show me any more qualified Judge speaking the right language to replace Ringera and I will show you a dreaming Waki.
  
  Our own PORK
  For goodness sake the K in KACC is for Kenya and not Kansas. And the ex-junior senator of New York must not act as Obama’s catapult to vomit on our lawns. We are a sovereign country and we can butcher ourselves all the much we care and only us can stop that not POTUS nor Hilary. We have our won intellectual PORK.
  
  The West's obsession with so-called Agenda Four is nauseating. Four comes after three and we have no Agenda Five, so why the hullaballoo? We will tackle REFORMS at our own pace and we won't allow ourselves to be pushed nor please anybody. Kenya has its owners and the tenants including the enveoys must know their legal limitations.
  
  TJRC is originally ours and we won’t modify to please global bullies, NEVER. The Friday cabinet meeting will be used to drive the point home and leave pretenders to power holding the political bathtub without the baby. NA BADO.Kumekucha

  
  

• TJRC: River of Deceptive Stream of Tears

  Posted: August 3, 2009, 7:15 pm by Taabu

  So the Truth, Justice and Reconciliation commission has been sworn in and lucrative jobs created for its members. Well, the words spelling TJRC is what we lack in abundance and the commissioners will dutifully help expand dearth of the same.
  
  We are a country whose citizens collective live beautiful lies. Here we are shamelessly talking of truth while telling destructive lies in denying that nothing happened. I guess in our blind pursuit to expand egos we have to self-destruct completely so that a new Kenya can sprout from the fertile rivers of blood.
  
  We know the cause of the present problems but dare not delve into them. Instead we are busy with platitudes discussing the effects of the same monster we created in silence. Add that to the deceptive nature of choosing the commissioners and you complete a picture created exclusively to buy time and whitewash.
  
  We are a country allergic to facing the truth itself. What is more, we opt for numerous commissions to buy time and wish away challenges. We shamelessly form commissions to investigate domestic matters of the president at taxpayer’s expense. We are so creative at serving selfish interests so much so that we cleverly scheme to fix political opponents using smartly packaged state apparatus.
  
  Hawking peace, diplomatic CV
  The present South Africa may have been defined by its TJRC. While we shamelessly cut-and-paste any foreign concept to create a pretence of motion with no intention to move, we have formed a TJRC with no clear cut structure or objective. The Kiplagat commission is just another opportunity to draw handsome remuneration at the expense of suffering Kenyans.
  
  SA had Tutu as a symbol of unadulterated integrity. In Kenya we have already seen crocodile tears from a person charged with the mandate to steer a kleenex commission already leading by example with streams of plastic tears.
  
  Kenyans are so good at hawking deceptive diplomatic and peace-making CVs. Just ask Sudan and Somali delegates of the hollowness and arm twisting these diplomats visited upon them.
  
  Bethwel Kiplagat was Ouko’s PS when he was butchered and his loud silence spoke volumes as a passive accomplice in the heinous crime. Add that to Justice Minister’s glittering CV as a personal lawyer to a kleptocrat and you get a pair that aptly epitomizes the collective lie Kenyans love to live.Kumekucha

  
  

• Hilary Clinton Keep Off, Kenya is Sovereign

  Posted: August 2, 2009, 7:00 pm by Taabu

  By marshaling thee hitherto divided cabinet to unanimously endorse no Hague no local tribunal, President Kibaki has shown unique leadership from front and example. Hilary Clinton must know that Kenya is sovereign and stop spreading Obama’s lies that we are corrupt.
  
  Acts of neocolonialism as propagated by Human Rights Watch must be resisted at all costs and with all might. The international NGO HRW is trying to sneak in Professor Alston’s hatred for Wako and Major Ali. We saw it before and rejected their innuendos and we will reject it again.
  
  Wako is Kenya’s longest serving AG and with his impressive global CV, Kibaki couldn’t ask for a more able legal mind with a permanent smile to match. We know our murderers and we are well placed to deal with them without Ocampo's theatrics. We cannot afford to indignity of hanging a future president out to dry.
  
  Obama must stop visiting shame upon us via catapult. He snubbed us last month and Clinton must not assume the proxy role to insult our national pride. Let Jonnie Carson go nostalgic and visit the Mara. Shame on Speaker Marende for inviting foreigners to help us solve problems we have lived comfortably with since independence and more so after the unfortunate 2007 election.
  
  There are numerous ways of skinning a cat and provided you don’t sit on it hence risking lethal claws on your rear side, the job’s end justifies the means. Smart President Kibaki and the cabinet outwitted hostile MPs by showing the mob who the boss is. The rest of Kenyans must learn to take five course meal marinated in obtuse contempt. It never constipates.Kumekucha

  
  

• The Hague Watch: Impunity Seeking Immunity

  Posted: July 30, 2009, 7:00 pm by Taabu

  
  Nothing exemplifies a failed state better than a fractious cabinet. Here we have one theoretical cabinet with three camps of preferences: The Hague, local tribunal with powers to try anyone (read no sacred cows/immunity) and the latest kid on the block TJRC. It couldn’t get any spicier.
  
  Impunity begets nothing but more impunity. We sowed it and must reap the bloody fruits. The three options clearly indicate the variants of selfish interest each group prefers with the intention of fixing perceived and real political opponents. The NOBODY-MOVES-NOBODY-GETS-HURT mentality is a selfishly smart scheme with all eyes singularly trained on magical 2012. Power to the moneyed.
  
  Going in circles only succeed in making you dizzy. So now we are back to where Annan left us by declaring that the government is committed to undertaking ACCELERATED and far-reaching reforms as spelt out in Agenda Four. Play another original tune please!
  
  The present costly pretence amounts to motions with no intention to cause any movement. We can as well enjoy the beauty of every floor on our way down from the top oblivious of the hard pavement (read 2012) waiting to crack our collective skull. Make no mistake January 2013 will be bloody and messy.
  
  Only scoundrels seek complicated solutions to simple problems. The creators of 2007 mess wont own up neither will they give up. They had a mission they have to accomplish and no amount of pressure or blood will make them halt. And they have cleverly roped us in when we now join them in discussing the effects with no mention of the CAUSE.
  
  Impunity-immunity tango dance
  Living a national lie may never kill but the cost is incalculable. Give it to President Kibaki in leading from the front when he reprimands nosy journalist by shamelessly declaring that nobody has abandon the pursuit of local tribunal because that imagining was never created in the first place.
  
  The standards of ICC are very clear. The present circular games will no wash. Whether we go local tribunal or Hague, the bar is raised and seekers of immunity and power of clemency have no place to hide. The guilty are afraid and who is scared to being stripped of immunity?
  
  Mutula promised one Moreno Ocampo that Kenya will set up a credible judicial mechanism. What is more, the High Court option peddled by the cabinet is outside Waki’s recommendations of the Waki Commission. Both ways the noose is tightening and the dithering only succeeds in massaging egos.
  
  Once you lose the moral authority, you never regain with fiat or bravado. The cabinet is rudderless and they know it. The fractious bunch are only fooling themsleves in attempt to circumvent an equally hostile parliament.
  
  In the meantime the clock is ticking fast and furiously to 2012. Ole wetu, NA BADO.Kumekucha

  
  

• Ruto’s U-turn: Mau Pressure Hits Critical Mass

  Posted: July 28, 2009, 7:00 pm by Taabu

  Arap Ruto must have seen it coming. The mob ganging against him was growing bigger by the day and he was destined to go only one direction, down. But given his numerous somersaults this July he didn’t mind joining the choir ordering settlers of Mau out.
  
  And the present Mau heat has engaged creative conspiracy theories from overtly political Kenyans. While some are now begrudgingly supporting Raila’s resolve to solve Mau no matter the political cost, other are gleefully crafting his political eulogy.
  
  The Mau crisis provides a platform to prove true leadership. We can now compare and contrast doers and fence sitters who wake up from their slumberland only to fire a junior purchasing officer for cheap buy PR on expensive limos.
  
  You have to give the devil his dues when Ntimama comes out unequivocally and declares that Mau must be conserved at whatever cost, political or otherwise.
  
  Devil's dues
  True Kenyan style we are comfortable playing politics with such grave issues that will only bequeath desert to our future generation. Expect more fireworks from the fractious cabinet tomorrow.
  
  Shameless extortionists will continue demanding their last pound of political flesh. In the mix are marinated tribal alliances that leave all here waxing like original pundits.
  
  The heat may intensify and acquirer a different colour when Jomo Junior arrives in town from the US. His press release was a tip of a massive iceberg. He knows his boss is a sitting duck without feathers and contradicting can as well be the default mode to advance moribund KK alliance. Na bado.Kumekucha

  
  

• Of Mau Crisis and Masking Hague Subplot

  Posted: July 27, 2009, 8:00 pm by Taabu

  No surprises every Kenyan has all over a sudden turned into an opinionated environmentalist. That is typical Kenyan modus operandi of waxing knowledgeable and patriotic when expedient.
  
  Granted, there is no doubt Mau destruction is more than a crisis. The encroachment never stated yesterday but the concern heightened when the effects hit us home and hard in our kitchens and bathrooms.
  
  Poor Mau settlers are just pawns caught in the political cross hairs. Moi was not smart enough to buy elite political support by auctioning Kenya. Instead he settled for basic indivisible need of survival - peasantry.
  
  Following Moi’s whistle, the vultures landed in Mau scavenging for every arable carcass. They curved choicest large pieces for themselves which they registered under phantom companies. In the meantime token parcels were dished out to the real settlers to create a resemblance of equity and honesty.
  
  The ruinous Moi would have known better investment in lucrative business with the state and Arabs. Grabbing Grand Regency at least leaves water flowing in Nairobi taps. Now with the poisonous effects of past impunity hitting our taps, the pain if personal and all the fake environmentalists are all out of the woodwork foaming at the mouth.
  
  Rotten head down
  With our shameless penchant to live collective national lies, we conveniently fail to read the REAL POLITCS masked in the present Mau debate. Forget the Bondo fish lunch that only succeeded in expanding political egos in effort cool the Hague heat.
  
  We respectfully flagged the free fall in 2007 and Kenya will never be the same again. The cabinet is dutifully pulling in opposite direction secure in the knowledge the edifice is rotten from the head down.
  
  Ours is doublespeak immortalized. While on one hand people are waxing triumphant on new tribal alliances, Ruto cannot afford to exploit the MORALLESS and fractious government to advance his selfish political schemes. He is only doing exactly just like the others by fighting tooth and nail to retain his tribal lordship tag.
  
  Nobody knows much about land in Kenya than the DPM Uhuru Kenyatta and he made it known all the way from US where he is on official duty. He couldn’t wait to strike it hot by reminding all and sundry about compensation. Speak of wolves drafting constitution to govern herd of goats.
  
  And UK is in good company. The measured, peaceful and God-fearing VP joined the campaign calling for full compensation of settlers relocated from Mau Forest. Any politician will be left salivating at the Rift Valley vote basket no matter the price. Game 2012 is on.Kumekucha

  
  

• Kibaki: Migingo is Kenya’s Policed by Uganda

  Posted: July 24, 2009, 5:35 pm by Taabu

  
  Kenyans must learn to take President Kibaki seriously. Now that they have forced Kibaki to declare Migingo as belonging to Kenya, they must stop whining about the one acre WASTELAND. Kibaki came to Nyanza for more weighty business and reducing him to commenting of some rocky patch was a waste of his Excellency’s time.
  
  And in forcing Kibaki’s hand, Migingo fishermen must brace themselves for a prompt reaction from Museveni whose police suffocate the island. We are good neighbours and must learn to share resources. Gifting landlocked Uganda with one acre won’t diminish our national sovereignty or pride.Kumekucha

  
  

• Kibaki’s Pain of Pleasing a Nation on Foul Mood

  Posted: July 21, 2009, 7:20 pm by Taabu

  
  Kibaki only invites foul mood unto himself when he has to. And now all the Hague talk just makes the reknown economist go mad. But by going for FISH lunch in Bondo, the hitherto don is leading by example and from infront. The MPs and ministers will be left no choice but to either shape up or ship out. Well, your guess is as good as mine on their choice when it comes to what matters most to their pockets.
  
  The Bondo lunch may just be the magic wand Kibaki needs to wave and abracadabra, NO HAGUE. You know fish is not only a nutritious source of white meat, but it has plenty of zinc that makes you wax academic leaving you oozing wisdom. LSE-educated Kibaki knows when to go back to the basics in re-inventing himself.
  
  Image is everything and more so in politics. Kibaki’s laid back trademark has served him right through the years. Only airheads blame him for not frequently engaging the pair of flaps separating his chin from the nose. He knows when to talk and when he does, all and sundry stop to listen. Come Saturday evening and you will see change of heart where the whole cabinet will be singing in praise of Emilio’s infinite wisdom.
  
  The Hague monster may be the prophetic crisis Kenya needed to unite against a common threat. And the time-tested President Kibaki is the person to help us comprehensively fight against that common enemy from beyond our borders. He has done on a wheelchair and will do it again to the chagrin of his detractors.
  
  Delicious fish lunch
  Kibaki must not be tied to nonentities. Those morons blaming him for not reprimanding Museveni over Migingo conveniently forget the fact that he has even left Mungiki and the vigilantes in his own backyard to sort their own bloody mess without his interference. His modus operandi amounts to dispensing blind justice that favours nobody including own blood relations.
  
  The MPs may continue their juvenile rants by throwing out the Special Tribunal Bill oblivious of the high cost of auctioning our national sovereignty. The truth is that they are only increasing the decibels while their eyes remain singularly trained on upping their prices.
  
  The MPs’ true beef is with Kibaki being stripped of immunity and authority to dish out clemency to the right people. Only Michuki and Wetangula seem to know better than the whole herd about true patriotism and sovereignty. We need a President with sharp teeth to bite when called upon.
  
  Nobody understands Kenya better than Kibaki himself. He singularly drove us to our present location and only him can take us out of it. All else is pretense packaged in costly ignorance of the true owners of Kenya. Saturday's lunch of fish may mark the reset switch button.Kumekucha

  
  

• Respect Kenya: Kibaki Must Stay Above the Law

  Posted: July 20, 2009, 6:00 pm by Taabu

  
  No country or leader auctions the priceless gift and honour of sovereignty. And Kibaki as the embodiment of Kenya must remain above the law no matter what the Rome statutes say about tribunals.
  
  Ministers have once again confirmed the tower of Babel that they have become. They have refused to unite and lead by example instead they are leading from the rear with the singular virtue of bickering. While they all toned down towards agreeing on setting a local tribunal, Kibaki’s position must remain NONNEGOTIABLE.
  
  After saving us from stewing ourselves in our own blood, Kibaki deserves respect and must avoid the indignity of answering to Ocampo’s melodrama at the Hague. The ICC may demand watertight declaration in offering immunity to nobody but we must unite in protecting our third president from such a shame.
  
  Ocampo and Annan must not be allowed to re-invent themselves using Kenya as a case study. They need to know the basics and avoid being easily excitable. For their information they better know that past tense of pigs fly is a common disease ravaging the world presently. Swine flu is no epidemic.
  
  Midnight swearing
  Mutula Kilonzo must learn politics made and practised inn Kenya. Well, he may have signed some papers with the ICC Prosecutor agreeing to stamp out impunity once and for all. But he must be aware that within our shores anything on paper is as good as the wet ink. Once liquiud is dry, the memorandum and agreement naturally goes comatose. What is more, we are a living testimony.
  
  So the cabinet can shout, wine and dine every week but they must make sure President Kibaki is comprehensively protected from scavengers like Ocampo and his sidekick Annan. They is only once centre of power in Kenya and we can only dare upset that institution at our collective national peril.
  
  Ocampo can breathe all the coloured fires and brimstone but Kibaki as a symbol of our nationhood must retain the authority to dish CLEMENCY so that we can heal. Kibaki knows Kenya better than even Obama and must not be intimidated at whatever cost. And on that note the MPs' hostility to Special Tribunal Bill is justified in protecting our exotic sovereignty.
  
  Kibaki is a master at delegation but he cannot be naive to delegate to Ocampo the role of wielding the axe on his own neck. Justice Gicheru should know better. He couldn’t have sworn in the president at midnight only to have the old man subjected to embarrassment by international minions like Ocampo, NEVER.Kumekucha

  
  

• Politics of 20 Provinces and the Road to 2012

  Posted: July 19, 2009, 2:00 pm by Taabu

  
  ICC's Moreno Ocampo and his sidekick Kofi Annan can generate all the heat they want but Kenya must continue with CONSTITUTIONAL governance. We have no leadership vacuum and to suggest otherwise is treasonable.
  
  Kibaki has embarked on his constitutional duty to REDRAW Kenya’s map and redefine our politics forever. And the nosy airheads must keep off such weighty matters of governance. Kibaki’s acts are unparalleled. You cannot effectively administer close to 40m people from 8 dispersed centres.
  
  Kibaki is shaping Kenya for the 21st Century. Forget about Michuki taking Moi to court for creating more districts. That was the right thing at the wrong time by the wrong person. In less than 3 years, we now have 254 districts, far more than 210 constituencies. And why not have more DCs than MPs if you want to police people?
  
  The Ministry of internal security is integral to the success of any political schemes. Just add that to the now fully-fledged paramilitary force Administration Police complete with helicopters, marine boats and high tech firepower and you get what you want by FIAT. 2012 is well taken care of in advance. No more 2007, dare you?
  
  Even grade three tots will tell you something about bringing services closer to the people. Government policy can only be effectively delivered by the right personnel who enjoy undivided loyalty from their boss. The new faces of governors tells it all.
  
  Kibaki’s curving out of 20 near ethnically and politically homogeneous provinces is an acto of political genius. He may be OLD, but HE the President if sharp and living ahead of his time. He has once again proved that our tattered constitution can be mutilated some more to good effect.
  
  You only need to look closely at the sub provinces curved out of Rift Valley, Western and Nyanza to see the President’s master stroke. All the other divisions were only meant to create façade of justification. The Ligale-led boundary commission can have their ritual and purchase the new cars but Kenya is miles ahead with Kibaki in the driver’s seat.
  
  Majimbo by fiat
  The bungled 2007 elections changed Kenya forever. What is more, Kibaki took note and has promptly acted on that very voting pattern. Political homogeneity can only mean peace. The more districts than constituencies is sign of things to come.
  
  By creating the unofficial 20 provinces, Kibaki has killed all the political birds in the forest with a single stone. What a marvelous way to launch a lasting legacy? New constitution kitu gani? Districts don't count for presidency, provinces do. The so-called Bomas draft can be CLEVERLY implemented differently to serve specif purpose, MTA DO?
  
  All right thinking and patriotic Kenyans must rally behind Kibaki to unite Kenya. He has deftly obliterated the primitive politics of tribal warlords. A nationalist won’t find it difficult winning 5 provinces as stipulated by the law to become the president.
  
  The new 20 provinces spell anew dawn for Kenyan politics. I pity those who are worried of a fractious Kenya. You haven’t seen the last thread of an infinitely divided country, thanks to Kibaki. NA BADO.Kumekucha

  
  

• Hague Express Watch: The Guilty Very Afraid

  Posted: July 16, 2009, 6:50 pm by Taabu

  
  Ex-Naivasha MP Jayne Kihara has registered herself at the Hague reception. So who is next? Just what Annan ordered, PANIC galore. In its wake panic leaves the guilty crawling out of the woodwork without prompting. The last few days have seen politicians make U-turns from brinkmanship to evangelistic commiseration.
  
  But make no mistake, Kibaki is in full control and will never allow his legacy to be tarnished as the president who auctioned Kenya to ICC, never. Kibaki is not naive to tighten the noose around the neck of his trusted lieutenants. Ocampo will have to wait for a very long time after clearing numerous smokescreens conveniently erected to distract him.
  
  Justice Waki maybe no saint but at least he clinically diagnosed our deceptive modus operandi and cleverly disabused us of its twin vices both dolled in FRAUD. Imagine if Waki undertook the ritual just like numerous commissions before him and handed over his findings and dreaded THE ENVELOPE to the appointing authority.
  
  The contents would have been trashed and the scoundrels would have engage super gear in looting Kenya secure in the knowledge that the coast is clear. As for now all the hitherto escape routes are firmly sealed and the music is far from being pleasant.
  
  Ocampo’s raging fire and brimstone may just be the dreaded sword of domacles that will whip us into shape. Alternatively our legendary scoundrels may as well give both Moreno and Annan the open cheque to write history with Kenya as a case study. The blood from Naivasha and Kiamba are crying for revenge from 6ft under.
  
  Self-registration
  We owe Waki plenty. Mark you were he not for fighting for his own integrity, this is one Justice Ringera had condemned to judicial oblivion during his platitudinous radical surgery. At least we have the envelope to thank Waki for, what about the dragon slayer Aaron?
  
  One thing is clear and predictable. The murderers won’t go down alone and not in silence. Solomonic wisdom will come in handy at the theatre of political guillotine – I DID IT FOR THE BOSS.
  
  We haven’t seen anything yet, the heat is one, the temperatures are suffocating and the chopping block is smartly laid. NA BADO.Kumekucha

  
  

• Karua Flogging Dead Anglo Leasing Ghosts

  Posted: July 15, 2009, 9:00 pm by Taabu

  
  They returned the money back to the government. So Anglo Leasing is truly the scandal that never was. Kiraitu told us as much during his reign as Justice Minister. So what else does Martha Karua want after the official clarification to the same effect from both her predecessor and treasury?
  
  The Narc-K chairperson must know when to stop talking. She served the government diligently and as much as the cabinet is missing her skirt for cover, the Gichugu MP must tame her upper pair of lips. No form nor amount of political tantrums can sanitize sour grapes.
  
  The treasury may have promised parliaments that the government terminated all Anglo Fleecing contracts. But Basic English tells you contract is founded on obligations that must be met by both parties. The fleecers did their part and expensively package and sold us air and it is incumbent upon Kenya to pay.
  
  Anglo Leasing owners are not local DT Dobie who we can generously subject to fiat and raw power in contravention of a signed contract. And Martha must stop being cheeky in sneaking in UNFOUNDED demands knowing too well Finance Minister and DPM together with his PS are on grander mission abroad to oil the wheels of Kenya.
  
  Karua and Bonny Khalwale must learn to respect official communication. The able and decorated AG Amos Wako has himself told Parliament the Government had cancelled five contracts when it became apparent they were fraudulent. We don’t need sophisticated Forensic Science Laboratories when special police units can comprehensively deal with thugs and militias.
  
  Sour grapes
  Kenyans must learn to count their blessing one by one. They are fortunate enough to be led by an accomplished economist who remains a genius among his village peers since 1960s to date.
  
  President Kibaki’s austerity measures and prudence in rejecting expensive vehicles couldn’t be more proof that he cannot allow Kenyans to be fleeced on his watch. So Karua’s challenge that Treasury officials present proof that the Government had indeed terminated Anglo Leasing contracts is retrogressive and insensitive to a progressive regime.
  
  Madam Karua must respect the collective responsibility she took oath on and stop revealing government secrets under the pretext of seeking transparency. She is better advised to stop the beautiful circus that hitherto defined her.
  
  Martha speaking of constitutional and legal reforms makes her lips contort so strangely she would rather not try. She must stop shadowboxing His Excellency the President who made her what she is today. Sour grapes as a rule are often juiceless.Kumekucha

  
  

• Hague Watch: The Centre Cannot Hold

  Posted: July 14, 2009, 9:45 pm by Taabu

  Martha Karua saw it and shouted GENOCIDE the loudest. And nobody can credibly fault her given all the insider knowledge accumulated in between her ears. The cabinet must be sorely missing the iron lady’s wits and guts. Just look at rudderless PNU’s gerrymandering.
  
  The arrival of one Moreno Ocampo has changed Kenya’s political equation forever. All the bravado and brinkmanship are no more. The heat is on, the temperature boiling and with every new day the noose gets tighter around the necks of the scoundrels.
  
  Make no mistake, President Kibaki is in total control. Just as he saved Kenya from stewing in her own blood, Kibaki will deftly but COMPETENTLY pull through this ICC crisis. His fierce patriotism will not allow him to abuse his oath of office by surrendering our sovereignty, NEVER.
  
  What is more, Kibaki and PNU have the victim on a leash. They know too well that the ICC does not prosecute REGULAR acts of criminality which his opponents wrongfully yap about. State shooting of protesters and isolated cases extra-judicial regional killings is just proof of who has the monopoly of violence.
  
  Last laugh
  The ICC does not interfere nor investigate organs of state used to beat into shape unruly citizens. Killing, shooting to maim and tormenting citizens is an exclusive right of any regime worth its name.
  
  ICC will find ready and incontrovertible evidence in our streets of Kabila adui, Madoadoa and Sangari. Moreno will be ruled out of order if he tries to delve into cause and effects. He must listen and act on the heat chasing the rat while the house is on fire.
  
  The rioters shot dead from behind by police is a local matter. Moreno must act swiftly to protect those who shout loudest lest they break our eardrums. They have the number and the power to twist justice in their favour. They will have the last and longest laugh, game on.Kumekucha

  
  

• Hague Express and the Tale of Two Envelopes

  Posted: July 12, 2009, 7:15 pm by Taabu

  Annan has called Kenya bluff. The Hague engine is revving and pretenders are torn between the façade of plastic sovereignty and refusing the local tribunal. Well, you can never bake your cake and gobble it, or can you?
  
  Kofi Annan must have witnessed firsthand original vices made and practiced in Kenya while staying in Nairobi for months last year, He saw through the gimmicks of the Mutula-led delegation to Geneva. He has proved to the scoundrels that you cannot fool all the people all the time by taking them round in circles with empty promises. In essence Annan has hit back hard where it hurt most. Just look at the panic button permanently pressed all over. Political temperatures can only go one direction, up.
  
  The heat is on and there may be no place to hide anymore. Even those who have been entertaining the fallacy of Hague’s long process are stung. They may not show it but the dread and anxiety is written all over their faces. Ocampo’s prompt opening of the envelope handed to him by Annan amounts to another squeeze at the noose tightening around the neck of Hague suspects.
  
  Before 2007, Kenya was a model African democracy until that democracy was heinously bastardized. Nobody ever thought the might Kanu would be politically vanquished at the 2002 polls. That came to pass and the evil Moi rose above all selfishness to hand over power. Make no mistake Moi had all the state apparatus to do as he wished. Even the polarized 2005 referendum came to pass. But not when the political stakes peaked in 2007.
  
  Judge Kriegler may have been diplomatic in his no winner verdict. But the old man knew better than douse an inferno with fuel. Making inference from first principles leaves you asking if there was no winner then why one was sworn in at midnight.
  
  But that is the wrong question. Basic deduction belittles the enormity of the task and apocalypse President Kibaki saved Kenya. Power abhors vacuum and Kibaki had to DUTIFULLY and DUELY fill the void lest Kenyans stewed themselves in their own blood. It therefore defeats logic to examine the genesis of PEV if we are to address its casualties.
  
  Wrong question
  Hiding behind empty sovereignty slogans are foxes waiting to pounce on their next prey. True to their colours, they will never a Special Tribunal Bill that demands those implicated to immediately step aside. That is not the way we do things in Kenya. Taking any form of personally responsible for your actions in an alien philosophy here.
  
  The Special Tribunal Bill shamelessly permutes impunity by giving the president the freehand to abuse the powers of clemency. Surely Kenya has its owners and the voters must be ready to either pay rent or relocate elsewhere.
  
  But not just yet. The Ocampo elephant is squarely chocking the room and no political bets are is binding now. And who knows Moreno Ocampo maybe that silver bullet to comprehensively sanitize and then deodorize Kenyan politics.
  
  Game on. It is only us who can free ourselves from this bondage. YES WE CAN and MUST.Kumekucha

  
  

• Annan Cracks the Whip, Starts Hague Express

  Posted: July 9, 2009, 11:00 am by Taabu

  
  Finally Annan has handed the sealed envelope to ICC for action. And with that single stroke of action the painful journey to address Kenya’s impunity starts. As Bob Marley aptly said you can fool some people some time but not all the people all the time.
  
  Moreno Ocampo may not be everybody’s hero but trust the Argentinean to come with blind double edged sword that will not spare any prince or tout. True, it may take time but it will surely leave no room for local manipulation that singularly define our national incompetence.
  
  Hague Express
  Annan’s statement from Geneva welcomed Kenya's efforts to establish a special tribunal, but added that "any judicial mechanism adopted to bring the perpetrators of the post-election violence to justice must meet international legal standards and be broadly debated with all sectors of the Kenyan society in order to bring credibility to the process".
  
  Capping it up, Annan reminded the scoundrels of the adage that justice delayed is justice denied. So let the political posturing begin. Meanwhile the noose is slowly and surely tightening around the neck of impunists. Thank God for small mercies.Kumekucha

  
  

• The Kibakis Lead by Example and from Infront

  Posted: July 8, 2009, 7:00 pm by Taabu

  
  Speak of austerity and being sensitive to the prevailing tough economic times and President Kibaki together with the First Lady are miles ahead of the pack. They have JOINTLY rejected the 8 vehicles driven into State House lawns by government officials without consulting them.
  
  Kibaki is walking the talk and disabusing all the doubting Thomases who have been deriding him that he as lost his hitherto cutting edge. By delivering the Sh 50 million-worth limos, the officials must have been reading from the old sycophantic script of wanting to please the king while milking kickbacks from the dealers with inflated quotations. But alas, shrewd economists Kibaki know when to call their bluff.
  
  And whoever thought that Lucy only makes headlines for all the wrong reasons must be boiling in shame. The First family is united in showing Kenyans good manners and living responsibly. State House is in no need of luxuries beyond the present superlative class.
  
  What is more, Mr J.K. Mutua, State House's chief financial officer has been fired. After him the other big schemers who purchased the vehicles must be smarting from eggs plastering their faces. They better shop elsewhere to meet their fanciful financial obligations which they had budged for using kickbacks from the deal.
  
  It is insulting to the institution of the presidency to be bought such average class of vehicles. A country's CEO and his dear wife deserves better. Mutua and company must have been prepared to pay the ultimate painful price and surely they did.
  
  
  
  But wait a minute. The President may not be done with these scoundrels yet. He may as well just fire them or worse still call in the tried and tested dragon slayer Aaron Ringera. Otherwise the superlative PR from the PPS would amount to naught.
  
  And while at it our selfish ministers must either follow the boss of pack their bags. But I guess they have been fantastic students so far after seeing the tiff with their PSs on parastatal appointments. After the President overruled KAA in re-appointing Muhoho, Ministers Sambili, Balala, Nyong’o and Ntimama have all done the boss proud.
  
  Less foul mood
  It is such token gestures from the President in leading from the top and by example that separates him from the other pretenders populating our borders. Don’t be surprised to see the DPM relinquishing thousands of acres of land in the footsteps of the President. In no time IDPs will be missing in our political appendix.
  
  Cheap minds may reduce Kibaki’s resolve to playing to the gallery but why not if the auditorium if full? Thank God for LESS FOUL moods.Kumekucha

  
  

• The Hague Express: One More Year of Impunity

  Posted: July 6, 2009, 7:00 pm by Taabu

  
  ICC prosecutor Moreno Ocampo would faint from massive bear hugs from our politicians were he to visit Nairobi. Now that he has given them 12 months to politically exhale, they will engage top gear in plotting to defeat the same justice ICC has instructed them to institute. Welcome to coloured impunity made and practiced in Kenya.
  
  The mayhem and near-Armageddon of last year sounds so far removed that the predictable apocalypse awaiting us in 2012 will make it look like a walk in the park. Make no mistake, a new constitution as shouted by all and sundry is no panacea to our bandit politics. Just drop any saint into the soup of Kenyan politics and s/he will emerge evil than Lucifer.
  
  Our problem is not archaic laws but IMPUNITY from our rulers. To them Kenya has been and continues to be their estate and we owe them rent. They will rape and milk her till the last drop of blood. We are led by zombies who hide under delegation to as a disguise to give free hand to tribal looters.
  
  All the cheap rants of hiding behind hollow sovereignty only succeeds in giving the rulers free pass to score all forms of fraudulent goals at our collective expense. We deride ICC as synonymous to neo-colonialism demanding equal treatment from US who are not signatories to Rome convention. At least they have working institutions and even the POTUS’ actions are limited to senate’s approval unlike our personalized RULERSHIP.
  
  Chopping block
  The bottom line is that we are paying the ultimate prize of democracy bastardized. The international community saved us from the last gunshots by the scoundrels. Only the ICC can guarantee objective blind application the law no matter how long it takes. Otherwise the 2007 rehearsal will produce unrivalled quality theatre of bloodbath come 2012.
  
  Only in Kenya do we entertain fallacies of opposition rigging election. To us the shamelessness of security in deceptive numbers is superlative logic. We are victims of greed and the chronic lack of political is the beast waiting to consume us all. To the political hyenas, Kenyans are simply the collective collateral their carnivorous lifestyle.
  
  Ocampo must better advised to prepare for massive disappointment. The kings of impunity will not foolishly place their heads on the chopping block. The faster the 12 months run out the better. Hague Express must leave the station soonest filled with the deserved passengers.Kumekucha

  
  

• Shot Dead 40 Years Ago, Impunity Galore

  Posted: July 4, 2009, 9:00 pm by Taabu

  Kumekucha

  
  

• Gaddafi Expands Ego, Ropes in Fellow Rulers

  Posted: July 2, 2009, 9:15 pm by Taabu

  
  Sovereignty must be a battle cry for scoundrels. So African rulers are consorting on continental impunity under the able tutelage of Leader Muammar Gaddafi? The next few days will see the African continental air suffocating from the hollow rallying call of independence and non-interference.
  
  Our rulers are only fooling themselves. Their selfish acts and personalized RULERSHIP only succeeds in providing the much needed cannon fodder to imperialists who are the custodians of their wealth stashed abroad. With one hand they wax patriotic beating anti western drums oblivious of the fact that all their loot is banked out there. What is more, at the signs of flu, they catch the next flight to those same western capitals for specialized treatment.
  
  Gaddafi must be laughing himself silly for congregating dinosaurs and dictators whose only common denominator is pure IMPUNITY. It couldn’t have come at a better time after Gaddafi has taken the shameful mantle from one dwarf Omar Bongo as the longest serving ruler in the world. Other octogenarians must be salivating with envy of him in Sirte. Gaddafi is simply buying loyalty with petro-dollars and greedy scoundrels are more than willing to play ball.
  
  The Hague express
  Gaddafi’s ego is expanded the more secure in the knowledge that he is offering many outlaws the holiday to spend their taxpayers’ money. From Bashir to Mugabe, their flights outside their borders are limited to like-minded dictators and murderous. No wonder they are all gleefully ready to sign Gaddafi’s anti ICC communique.
  
  Well, they can run from Cairo to Cape Town but they cannot hide from the ghosts of Hague Express. The diligent Chief Prosecutor Moreno Ocampo will dutifully strike when time comes whether they are in office of dead.
  
  It is only a matter of time and no amount of security in numbers gimmick packaged as African solidarity will wash. The Hague Express is one unstoppable juggernaut that once it departs from the station no pedigree in family name will stop it.Kumekucha

  
  

• Muthaura Flown to SA, Still Working from ICU

  Posted: July 1, 2009, 4:20 pm by Taabu

  
  Hitherto energetic and never-tiring Head of Public Service Francis Muthaura has been flown to South Africa for further treatment. His doctors could not take chances after confirming that arteries in and out of his heart are THINNING. Such calcification is sure recipe for massive stroke. In fact the government has gambled with PS of all PSs, he should have been flown to London.
  
  At least our sensational media can now rest easy after their object of hate and speculation has been relocated to Johannesburg. But Muthaura’s hospitalization leaves a gaping hole that can plunge Kenya into deep administrative problems. For starters he has no deputy and has been competently running this country single handed albeit chronically partisan.
  
  But we must take heart from Dr. Mutua’s assurance that Mzee Muthaura will be back behind his desk in less than two weeks. We have no cause to doubt Alfred, he must know better, after all he is a doctor, isn’t he? In any case he never suffers whiners lightly no matter the might whether junior senator of Illinois or not.
  
  Kenya cannot do without the veteran PS Muthaura. His work rate is phenomenon and above all unrivalled. What is more, even in the face of calamity, the good old man can at least afford a half grin, nay smile, for the first time even if on a stretcher. The old man can take just so much pressure after more than 10 years no leave.
  
  Massive stroke
  Heading civil service is a 24 hour duty while politicians snore in parliament. Muthaura’s energy is incredible. With no deputy, he was still working from his HDU bed. Kenyan media must also learn to respect the office of government spokesman. Our penchant to distrust official channels only succeeds in feeding destructive rumours.
  
  In the meantime we must collectively wish the good ambassador well as he confronts his own mortality. Who knows, may be this scare would offer him the opportunity to contemplate the highly partisan and polarizing role he has played in the grand coalition in addition to toxic politicization of the civil service.
  
  Hopefully the NDE and scent from ICU next door will transform him into a better man. God bless the unofficial emperor.Kumekucha

  
  

• Mzee Muthaura is Key to Kenya’s Health

  Posted: June 29, 2009, 5:00 pm by Taabu

  
  Head of Civil Service and Secretary to the Cabinet Francis Muthaura has been admitted a door away from ICU. It wouldn’t have come at a worse time when Kenya is in dire traits and chronic need of Muthaura’s able hands. Almost 70 years old and close to five decades in government, very few Kenyans can match ambassador Muthaura's experience.
  
  The need for REFORMS can only be shepherded by Muthaura’s tried hands. He knows the government inside out. What is more, he has the boss’ ears. Many neophytes in the GCG may hate him for his fidelity to protocol. But serikali is no civil society and none of these activists can hold a candle to the veteran ambassador.
  
  Our sensational newspapers must spare PS Muthaura more headache. Whether he was hospitalized last month or yesterday morning is immaterial. These alarmist reporters fail to understand the enormity of the national burden Muthaura shoulders on our behalf. They even shamelessly fail to glimpse the gravity of the mater when police boss spends five hours at the hospital hosting Muthaura.
  
  10 years work, no leave
  You see Major Ali needs alloyed guidance to stop thugs in Juja from petrol-bombing houses when owners refuse to open their doors to allow unhindered looting. Add that to the explosive Mungiki-vigilante executions and you have to sympathize with Muthaura's predicament in this sick status.
  
  The press must learn to respect top government officials who discharge their duties under great pressure. You fail to understand why they doubt Dr Mutua’’s official statement that Muthaura BOOKED himself in hospital on Sunday. He must know better.
  
  What more can unforgiving and unappreciative populace ask for besides a 70-year old working for more than 10 years without leave. After offloading our collective national stress on Mzee Muthaura he is now smarting from chemical imbalance in his body. True, rewards from an ungrateful donkey are fatal kicks.Kumekucha

  
  

• The King of Pop's Dead, RIP Mr. Thriller

  Posted: June 25, 2009, 10:00 pm by Taabu

  
  He popped onto the music scene, thrilled the world, conquered it and became king. Wacko Jacko was more than a phenomenon, he was an institution. Besides his record breaking sales, his electrifying dance moves of yore were not only athletic but remain uniquely synonymous with MJ.
  
  He inspired a generation and for those who grew during his time Michael Jackson ROCKED THE WORLD. From Afghanistan to Zimbabwe MJ's lyrics ring true and uplifting to every music lover.
  
  As a human being he had his ups and downs but MJ's music was and is still like aphrodiastics. From the best selling THRILLER, to Black or White to Heal the World, Michael has left a piece of his musical genius behind him for the world to savour.
  
  
  Jacko was a trinity of genius. The singer, dancer and songwriter created a new mantra for modern day entertainment. He was simply magic, living ahead of his times even before the sound and visual effects of the present digital age.
  
  Heal the world
  His trademark elaborate, stop-on-a-dime dance moves spiced with the sensual soprano influenced generations of musicians. His whispery, high-pitched speaking voice was a unique gift that he employed to good effect in thrilling his fans.
  
  
  The face mask epitomized his lows. The multiple plastic surgeries and his vitiligo illness transformed the hitherto masculine and athletic black man to a wispy, pale-faced, almost noseless figure. Call it the curse of celebrity if you may but Michael Jackson will remain an icon who also had the human heart. He also knew how to sell a good cause, as with his celebrity-packed "We Are the World" video in 1985 to raise money for starving people in Ethiopia.
  
  Death remain the painful universal equalizer. The grim reaper has robbed the world of one of the planet's finest artiste of his generation. Fare thee well MJ and thanks for ROCKING US ALL when you lived.
  
  Here is some information Kumekucha came across that may interest you: Swine Flu Scare In Nairobi?Kumekucha

  
  

• KPC Scandal: Kiraitu’s Clean, Media Keep Off

  Posted: June 22, 2009, 9:00 pm by Taabu

  
  Just how many political bullets must one body stop? Even before the Triton oil wave hit the shores, rivals are scheming to chop Kiraitu Murungi’s political head. Add to political nightmare the Imenti South MP faced less than 1000 days ago following Githongo’s onslaught and you understand why he dolls his lips into all shapes and forms.
  
  KPL bosses even had the audacity to cheat their on Minister last year to request President Kibaki to commission an incomplete project in Mombasa. The Harvard graduate is not naïve and called the media bluff by reminding them that if he is corrupt then they should wait to see him get state accommodation at Kamiti.
  
  And what is the main deal Standard newspaper is yapping about? If the project was designed to increase by purchase two pumps with 880 metres cubed/per hour capacity, what is the fuss if lower capacity 440 cubic meters pumps can deliver? Simple maths, it amounts to saving on number by half in addition to magnifying the original cost from Sh2.6b to just under 10b.
  
  Malicious professors
  The media must spare Kiraitu flack and disembark from the bandwagon hell bent on derailing his bright political future. They better know that the government is COMPETENTLY represented in KPL board meetings by the able minds of Solicitor General Wanjuki Muchemi and Energy Permanent Secretary Mr Patrick.
  
  Nowhre ealse can you get more qualified representation than the President's own personal lawyer. The media are better informed that the Solicitor only graduated with a PASS because of malice from envious professors but that is a story for another day. And educationists will disabuse you of pegging performance on mere papers.
  
  Kiraitu is on the right side of history, in right company and headed for bigger things. Not even Githongo’s juvenile enthusiasm to please his masters could extinguish him. He is the author of the MUD in politics and must know better. What is more, he has admitted what the Standard reported albeit with denial in the details. Couldn’t ask for a more forthright politician within our shores, or can you?Kumekucha

  
  

• Minister Collapse, PS Shot, What’s Going on?

  Posted: June 20, 2009, 7:00 pm by Taabu

  Kumekucha

  
  

• Imanyara's Life in Danger or Just Crying Wolf?

  Posted: June 18, 2009, 8:30 pm by Taabu

  
  No Kenyan can take a threat on his life lightly. More so if you have rubbed the high and mighty the wrong way. You don’t provoke an EXECUTIVE FOUL MOOD and get away with it.
  
  So is Imanyara the next target or simply crying wolf? Well, given history, Imanyara's past dealings with the first family leaves him a very wanted man and he better take the scribbled LAME threats seriously.
  
  State House has given the predictable contempt card. But what is baffling is why any intelligent Kenyan would hand write such a juvenile threat on police letter head. Only in Kenya where everything goes is such impunity tolerated. Otherwise the handwriting is handy evidence and trace that would take less than an hour to have the culprit cornered.
  
  Executive foul mood
  The latent threat has been delivered and Imanayara is better warned the same police meant to protect him are in the loop to harm him. That can only happen in Kenya where power men turn the police force into personal militia. Just wait until the same police shamelessly beg Kenyans to appreciate their THANKLESS hard task of securing and defending us.
  
  Between Imanyara’s fears and State House’s contemptuous response, Kenyans know whom to trust given our bloody history. The jerk knee platitudes propaganda is symptomatic of a credibility vacuum.
  
  Muite must stay armed after being warned for rattling gatekeepers.Kumekucha

  
  

• Another Tank Blaze: No Poverty Excuse Please

  Posted: June 17, 2009, 10:00 pm by Taabu

  
  We don’t learn, do we? Hardly 200 days since the Sachang’wan tragedy and yet we have human torches setting the bushes ablaze at Kapsoit. Now who will this careless public blame? They have been warned numerous times against siphoning fuel from tankers after accidents. But who cares when they can loot and make tidy money without any sweat?
  
  Well until we disabuse ourselves of the mentality of freebies, we will continue to pay heavily for our stupidity both collectively and individually. The hollow justification of poverty doesn’t wash. Claiming that an empty stomach doesn’t reason is no excuse to plunge into hell from which you never live to tell the story.
  
  Human torches
  True, the body politics is stinking to high heavens. Also true is the latent complicity and enticement from belligerent tank drivers who jump out of moving near-empty tankers leaving them to overturn so as conceal their fraudulent tracks after selling most of the fuel.
  
  Until we revert to basic human tenets of decency and hard work, breathing torches will continue setting bushes ablaze. That may sound insensitive to those in love of living lies and in denial, but it remains the painful truth with her hands fully stretched begging for a walk.Kumekucha

  
  

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes