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Items by Seasons

Seasons and Reasons

Randomness: “The secret” and celibacy

Posted: May 12, 2008, 2:58 pm by Seasons

Is it only me or does the rest of you feel the ‘The Secret‘ is over-hyped? I grudgingly read the book and skimmed over the DVD but I still don’t get what the big issue is. There is no secret about the power of positive thinking and so the writer did not unveil anything new..even [...]
Super 14 Predictions: Draw complicates final round

Posted: May 12, 2008, 10:44 am by Seasons

Who could have thought a draw would complicate the scenario this way? Well it did. The Stormers and The Warratahs played out a draw on a wet rainy Saturday night at Newlands. This brings focus on the last matches of Super 14 2008. There are so many scenarios that could happen this coming weekend. I have [...]
Super 14 Predictions: Semi finals heat is on

Posted: May 9, 2008, 11:33 am by Seasons

All matches this weekend save for one (Bulls vs Brumbies) have a bearing on which teams are likely to be in the Semis in two weeks time. Locally with Impala playing Kenya Harlequins means that my weekend is sorted! My phone will be off and am likely to be incoherent if you try and [...]
Tusker Project fame: Boardroom politics

Posted: May 5, 2008, 9:05 am by Seasons

If you watched Project fame last night, then you already know that they put the best singer( Wendy) on probation because She did not ‘perform at her potential’ according to Judge Ian Mbugua. This is a load of bull crap in my opinion considering that they left Hemedi who everyone know cant sing in the [...]
Lost time and frustration

Posted: April 28, 2008, 12:38 pm by Seasons

I have lost days somewhere… I cant believe April is gone. I cant trace what I have done and what value I have added to the world this month. Am a gadget boy and usually have my schedules synchronized on my phone and laptop. Regardless of what I have scheduled, In my mind I [...]
Stop trying to hook me up!

Posted: April 19, 2008, 12:21 pm by Seasons

You ,my friends, am making me feel inept and deficient! There is no void in my life as it is by choice, that I am alone. The dating scene is not as rosy as it promises to be. After this and now this…. I aught to know better. The B-train is quite an attractive option and will [...]
Labels: Relationships ambiguity

Posted: April 14, 2008, 11:39 am by Seasons

This post has been in my drafts since September 2007. This lady never forgets and keeps reminding me that I promised to post it. I find that the post does not hold the same meaning now. At the time of writing it, it was in the early part of this relationship and was relevant. [...]
Idols East Africa; Why is Angela Angwenyi a judge?

Posted: April 8, 2008, 11:45 am by Seasons

I was watching the comedy show reality show Idols East Africa on Sunday evening and the best thing about the show is the stage decor and lighting. Everything is else is dull and flat. Once in while a contestant who was not tone deaf would appear but then the judges would [...]
The delivery man

Posted: April 1, 2008, 1:53 pm by Seasons

Over the Easter weekend, I was at home alone whilst my staff had taken the weekend off. I ordered food from China Plate in Westlands. I was in the shower when the food was delivered but I had given my day guard the cash to pay the delivery man. The guard rang the bell [...]
HongKong: What a weekend!

Posted: March 31, 2008, 3:04 pm by Seasons

I will not post about the rugby tournament as I am sure others have already done that. All I can say is that the HK night scene(Especially Wan Chai) will remember this touring party for a long time. Also whoever manufactures tequila needs to go on holiday if the amount imbibed this weekend is [...]
Update from Hong Kong

Posted: March 28, 2008, 12:36 pm by Seasons

Just a quick update….Our boys have just hammered China 47-0 in scintillating game of Sevens rugby. Boys looking good, no injury concerns and the conditions are excellent. We meet Portugal and Scotland tomorrow. This is a tournament we should easily make the quarter finals. I will post the photos later on when I get back to the Hotel…. [...]
Honesty; Does it always pay?

Posted: March 26, 2008, 10:15 am by Seasons

I thought I had resolved this matter once and for all. It seems that breaking up is never easy. I had thought about it and was sure of what I would say. I even prepared myself by writing down my points. I know my reason sound frivolous but it is fact that the [...]
New sins: Obscenely rich?

Posted: March 12, 2008, 6:46 pm by Seasons

Am sure by now all have heard of the new sins announced by the Pope. Whilst one can understand littering, cross generational sex,drug dealing,abortion, social injustice being wrong and the Pope did not need to declare them as sins for people to give them attention, I truly cannot fathom why genetic engineering and being obscenely [...]
African Woman Sets Herself on Fire To Protest Racism

Posted: March 5, 2008, 8:03 pm by Seasons

Sad stuff… The horrifying sight which traumatized shoppers and office workers in the centre of Luxembourg City last week has now been labeled as a protest against racism. The Belgian woman of Congolese origin who set herself alight in the middle of Place d’Armes told witnesses that she was! doing it to protest against racism, moments [...]
Drowning the Ipod

Posted: February 28, 2008, 1:36 pm by Seasons

I got home last night to find my daughters not talking and their nanny trying to mediate. According to my 12 years old, her sister “drowned’ her Ipod in the bathtub. Jazz( the 6 year old) reckoned that she was just washing it as a favour to her sister. The situation was actually comical [...]
Tag Season

Posted: February 25, 2008, 11:06 am by Seasons

It is tag season again on KBW and to be honest, a break from all the political rhetoric and propaganda going on. Now Farmgal went and tagged me. The Rules: - Link to the person that tagged you. - Post the rules on your blog. - Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself. - Tag six random people at [...]
There is no easy way

Posted: February 23, 2008, 2:57 pm by Seasons

Am listening to James Ingram’s ‘Best of..’ and this post title comes from a song that is quite relevant to what is going on in my life right now. But there are times the best is no damn good And no matter how you try to be kind There’s always still a part of you you’ll [...]
Didge and Lenny in Concert

Posted: February 22, 2008, 7:58 am by Seasons

I happen to receive this invite on Facebook The organizers happen to be close friends of mine. Although I may not be the target market, I happened to like Didge’s last Album produced by Tedd Josiah and will definitely attend this. Iam keen on hearing his new stuff.
Misery loves company

Posted: February 19, 2008, 12:57 pm by Seasons

I wrote this post in July 2006 and reviewing it today, reminds me how far I have come. I cant believe how depressed I once was. Misery loves company This has been a cliche for a long time until recently when I discovered that I have been living it. I joined a ’support’ group for divorced and single [...]
2008 Super 14 predictions

Posted: February 16, 2008, 1:18 pm by Seasons

A little late this year for my predictions as the matches started yesterday. After watching the Crusaders outplay the Brumbies and the Sharks struggle against the The Force, it blows my prediction out of the water. Still, here goes….. In my opinion the outcome of the 2008 Super 14 tournament should be the same old story [...]
Valentines day: Whats the fuss?

Posted: February 15, 2008, 5:15 pm by Seasons

I bought the flowers and chocolates. I took her out for dinner and it probably was a very romantic day- for her. All the time this was going on, I was thinking that I maybe stuck in a ritual that I have no control over. I am quite expressive on my feelings( as [...]
Mwanja Destroys England

Posted: February 10, 2008, 11:37 pm by Seasons

Kenya has just beaten England 17-7 in San diego to qualify for the Cup quarters. The win came from Dennis Mwanja’s hat-trick of tries. Am glad I stayed up to watch this albeit on TV. How I wish I made it to San Diego. I just arrived home this morning after attending the Wellington tornament [...]
Revelation from afar

Posted: February 8, 2008, 10:31 pm by Seasons

I was in Wellington New Zealand last week for the IRB sevens. I met a Kenyan guy who was a friend in college way back in 1993. This dude campaigned for Kenneth Matiba in 1992 and when he lost, he got disillusioned and migrated to the USA. He was visiting his brother in Australia and decided to come to [...]
Assassinations: Really?

Posted: February 1, 2008, 10:53 am by Seasons

When I heard that another MP had been shot dead, I drafted a post but unfortunately, the titles I came up with would have made people think that am mocking the death of a leader. Titles like “Too shot too’, ‘They shot Too too”, would have confused readers outside Kenya.

Anyhow, I decided not to put up the post and read through the KBW aggregator. I noticed that many bloggers reported the shooting of the MP as an assassination. It is interesting how quickly people decided that this was an assassination when all reports pointed to a crime of passion.

Wikipedia describes Assassination as the targeted killing of an individual who is in a high-profile position. An added distinction between assassination and other forms of killing is that the assassin has an ideological or political motivation, though many assassins (especially those not part of an organization) also demonstrate insanity; other motivations are money (contract killing), revenge, or a military operation.

How would bloggers know that this was an assassination barely minutes after the death was reported? Imagine the egg in your face when this is proven to have been a crime of passion and the end of a philanderer. How about reporting about the killing and wait for facts to be reported.

Many people are alluding that the government killed the MPs. I have been asking myself of what political value these two MP’s would deliver for the government to have them killed. I still cant fathom what they would gain.

There is another school of thought that their own party could have been involved in their demise. It is alleged that they were about to defect and thus had to be eliminated to send a message to other would-be defectors. Whilst this is plausible, I also don’t subscribe to the theory.

Conspiracy theories abound but I believe there is no political connection to the murders although politicians will use the killings to their gain.
‘Nation’ suspends political advertising

Posted: January 29, 2008, 10:11 pm by Seasons

Since the disputed elections, we have seen many full pages adverts from the government, ODM and some that were just labeled ‘advertisers notice’. A full page colour in the major dailies cost around 300k including VAT.

This evening Nation Media group has suspended running of any political adverts. According to the announcement, they did this to aid the mediation process as they feel the adverts may adversely affect the mediation.

I applaud this move as I can imagine the lost revenue especially considering the reduced advertising since the chaos in Kenya started. I cancelled a large advertising campaign earlier in the month and the agency I use informed me that this has been the norm this month. So, for NMG to take this action, it took some consideration.

I just wish we all can give this Annan led mediation a chance and hopefully we can have a chance to reclaim peace.

On a different note, I have talked to many business owners and they all have been making plans to leave Kenya as the violence escalates. It is said that amongst the reasons the Kenya shilling is losing against major currencies, is capital flight. We know market fundamentals such as speculation, low inflow etc are in play but transfers to India, UK and South Africa are going on in earnest. I don’t blame these friends of mine- am considering doing the same.
At a time like this, I miss Moi

Posted: January 29, 2008, 7:34 am by Seasons

There are times I miss Moi. These times are like the present. In spite of all his failings, Moi would never had allowed the nation to deteriorate like this.

A few of these political leaders who are said to have instigated the ethnic clashes would be in Kamiti.

Sometimes a country requires a leader will balls. Someone who will take up challenge to restore peace without appeasing.
Mugabe Were shot dead

Posted: January 29, 2008, 7:09 am by Seasons

News coming in early this morning is that Mugabe Were the new Embakasi MP has been shot dead. It is still not clear the circumstances leading to the killing but it is said that he was shot outside the gate of his house just after midnight.
Tsonga: The future?

Posted: January 24, 2008, 11:08 pm by Seasons

Even as we go through these tough times, I have been following the Australian Open daily. The find of the year is definitely Jo-Wilfried Tsonga. This 22 year old French/Congolese man was unseeded coming into this years tournament and he has cut through top seeds like a hot knife through butter. Watching him tonight beating [...]
Economic boycott: Cross purposes

Posted: January 21, 2008, 8:56 am by Seasons

One thing that has been strong in the ODM ranks was their communication structure. Their messages to their supporters have been clear and coordinated, well until this last weekend.
I saw a crack in this structure this weekend. First they said that they are reviewing their strategy and so the mass protests are over whilst they work on mediation. A few hours later, they declared mass protests are back on. I guess it was a quick review of strategy.

Secondly, Mr.Salim Lone( I think he is ODM’s Media director) says that they have now decided that on Economic boycott where they will ask their supporters to boycott goods and services from companies owned by Kibaki supporters. Amongst the companies to be boycotted are Equity bank, Safaricom, Citi Hoppa and Brookside. Barely an hour later, they retracted this statement and it is not clear whether this Economic boycott is on or not.

I don’t know how their supporters will decipher these messages if I cannot and I consider myself more literate than most of them. I have never seen a lot speak at cross purposes as this one.

On the Economic boycott, it is short sighted to assume that people who live on less than a dollar a day and most of them have little choices on where to shop will understand this message.

On a different note, the EU has now withheld grants to Kenya. However, I am perturbed by this action. We all know that Kenyan gets very little budgetary support from donors and even then very little from the EU. In this respect therefore the grants withheld will be project- based which are channeled through NGO’s to support community projects. This will actually affect the man on the ground and not the governments. The EU also forgets that China is waiting in the wings to work with African governments.

I manage funds for some of these organizations who run community based programmes. My clients had already indicated that they may not renew some of the contracts we signed last year. These actions will definitely reduce my revenues and affect my results as I cannot see an alternative source of business. This sector provides me with about 30% of my revenue and if things continue this way, I may lay off a large number of my staff. Am sure am not the only one in this situation.
Mandisa

Posted: January 14, 2008, 7:26 pm by Seasons

I recently bought ‘True Beauty’ a CD by Mandisa. This 11 track album is classified as gospel in genre although to me it is more inspirational than gospel. People will remember Mandisa from Idols 2006 and more specifically making Simon Cowell apologize for making a snide comment about her weight. The lady has matured into a [...]
The Power of blogs?

Posted: January 14, 2008, 7:02 pm by Seasons

There is an email doing the rounds in the country about ODM’s strategy and it may just be propaganda or could be authentic. I will not post the email as it is already posted here and here. It is an interesting read all the same.

Whether the document is genuine or not is not the subject of my post. What my post is about though is the importance blogs are being given as a marketing tool and thus one that can influence consumers. If the document is genuine, then the strategist gave credence to this belief( maybe the sudden increase in political blogs in the last Qtr of 2007) and if it is not genuine, then the propagandists also saw the opportunity that blogs present.

Since I moved to word-press, I have been getting about 100 hits a day and there are times I get more hits than my business website. With this in mind, am contemplating starting a business blog which will provide readers with information in my area of expertise which very few people in Kenya write about. I believe that this may influence readers to take up my services. It is still a contemplation. The only problem is that I currently blog for fun and if I decide to do it for money, I may not enjoy it as much as I do now.
Does Kibaki have a plan?

Posted: January 9, 2008, 8:21 am by Seasons

I believe it is best to start a project with a clear objective. I also believe Kibaki is not dumb and his apparent aloofness is a strategy in itself. I agreed with Mutahi Ngunyi when he said that Kibaki is of a superior mind. However, with this [...]
Reach Out

Posted: January 7, 2008, 4:58 pm by Seasons

Am home and back at work. Since I am not able to offer a solution to the current political impasse, I have decided to get involved in helping the displaced people.

Yesterday, I took my family to Jamhuri park where we distributed food, beddings and clothes to the people camping there. This was also an opportunity for me to explain and educate my children on exactly what has been taking place. Am not sure they understood the politics of it all but I know from the despondency that they understand that here are people whose lives has been changed forever by issues they could not control.

There are many initiatives like this one below that we should support

TAMARIND GROUP

Event: Reach Out Fundraising Concert

Date: Sunday, 13th January 2008

Time: 1.00pm - 6.00pm

Charges: Kshs 200.00

Performances:

-Suzanna Owiyo

-Kayamba Africa

-Jemima Thiongo

-Jua Cali

-Didge

-Karma

-Atemi

-Kaz

-Nikki

The Reach Out concert will be a fund raising effort through which, with your help we can achieve several objectives:

1) Reach Out and touch our brothers and sisters who are displaced and affected by the election violence.

2) To see all gate proceeds from the show donated to the International Red Cross and related bodies to aid in the support of displaced persons due to election skirmishes in Nairobi specifically by providing:

-clean water

-washroom facilities

3) To provide a platform where local artistes and participants can join hands in a single united effort to show the world (through the Local and International Media) that we are united and peaceful Kenyans regardless of ethnicity or political influences.

4) To provide an avenue for Kenyans to contribute to the ongoing relief efforts by:

-direct donation to the International Red Cross, who will be on-site -donate blood through the Blood Bank Service of Kenya

5) To regain a sense of normalcy where our city will regain it’s vibrancy and people will have an opportunity to sing and dance and have a good time.

I do hope you will make an effort to recruit more Kenyan’s to join the Reach Out efforts and let us join hands to help our Brothers and sisters.

KENYA NI YETU!

I also know that Pamoja Youth Foundation has revived their Operation Jaza Lorry where they are partnering with Nakumatt and Uchumi to distribute food. There will be more call to action in the local media on this initiatives. Your involvement will be appreciated.
Am coming home

Posted: January 4, 2008, 12:34 pm by Seasons

I have made a decision to come home

I have been relying on CNN, SKY and Kenyan blogs to get updates on what is happening at home. However, my staff and collegues at work have convinced me that although the situation is tense, one can get around.

My firm is custodian to hundreds of millions of clients funds and these clients expect services from us even during chaos. My staff have been manning the offices when I have been away and it only makes sense for me to go home and provide them with leadership and support. Ultimately, Kenya will survive this and businesses will require funds for reconstruction.

The month of January gives us about 30% of our annual revenue and the security situation in Kenya is likely to dent this. I can imagine all businesses are faced with the same challenges.

I had contemplated leaving Mauritius tomorrow and flying to Tanzania or Uganda where we have offices and watch the situation from there. However, if my staff in Kenya can brave the lack of transportation and the protests in the streets to get to work, I certainly can do the same. We are required to serve the clients who put their faith in us.

I get back to Nairobi tomorrow afternoon.
This is incitement

Posted: January 3, 2008, 7:20 pm by Seasons

I have just seen a clip on Sky TV where Raila was saying that what is going on in Kenya was Genocide by the government. He apparently was visiting injured people in hospitals.

The dictionary defines genocide as the systematic killing of all the people from a national, ethnic, or religious group, or an attempt to do to so.

Kenyans have been calling for the two leaders to talk to their people and ask them to quell the fighting. Now when one of the leaders come and makes such a claim I think this is a dangerous line and could incite people to start attacking members of particular ethnic groups.

I cant believe these are the type of people we voted for.

Both Kibaki and Raila need to come out to calm Kenyans and not aggravate a situation that is already grave.
Winner in a losing game

Posted: January 1, 2008, 8:30 pm by Seasons

We take a lot of things for granted in life and as Kenyans peace is one of those things.

I left the country on the 27th of December after casting my vote and I assumed I will receive an update of the results and regardless who wins, I will be back on the 5th of January to go through this journey called life. Now chances are that I will not be back as planned and my kids will not be back in school on the 9th.

Who would have known that behind me, Kenya would erupt into violence after the results are announced. I voted for Kibaki because as a businessman, he best presented the environment that will enable my business to thrive. Selfish yes..but if we are honest, we all voted for whom we felt represented our interests best.

The only way I have been able to get information has been family and friends texting me and telling me about the goings on back home. I have not decided if I will bring my kids back home as yet or where we will go to next as our stay in Le Touessrok ,Mauritius was meant to be short. The kids have enjoyed their time here being oblivious to what is happening back home but I have been worried sick of the future of our country.

Interestingly, the people who are responsible for the violence are safely tucked in their beds at night and some have left the country. Case in point; One of Moi’s sons is here in the same hotel am staying in. I think he came in on Saturday after confirming he had lost in his attempt to get into parliament.

I may not have voted for Raila but right now I care very little about who the president should be as long as we have peace.

I hope the calm resumes and Kenya is able to move on from this.
Shags Melancholy

Posted: December 24, 2007, 4:55 pm by Seasons

Growing up , I used to feel deprived when all my pals tell me their ’shags’ stories. Having your grand parents living in Nairobi means there is no ‘upcountry’ to visit for Xmas. For the non- Kenyan readers, Shags is Kenyanese for a rural home. It is also denotes a rustic lifestyle and opposite of urban.

This is the first time am spending Xmas in very many years. As a family we have had the annual Coast sojourn running to years before I started my own family. This sojourn usually includes my parents, my siblings and their children. We made a decision to stay in Nairobi and vote .

I hate to admit the last few days have been boring. The girls have had enough of shopping, lunches, swimming and movies. I can tell they are itching for something else. I hate being idle but the truth is, there is really nothing much to do in Nairobi at the moment.

I am not really in the clubbing mood and where would I go anyway..the places are jammed with Summer bunnies. My girlfriend has traveled to visit her parents and my few pals have gone to their shags.

I bought an old farm house complete with a farm somewhere near Mount Kenya and my kids call it ‘The farm’ and it is as close to ’shags’ as they can get. However there are only workers there and hence negates the “family visits’ that are associated to shags. The kids do enjoy the animals and doing what they call ‘farm things’ but it really is not the type of place they would enjoy their xmas.

My mum is putting together a BBQ for the entire family on Xmas day and I believe that will be a lot of fun for the kids to play with their cousins. I don’t think it will be fun coz am only close to my Sister and I see her often. Am also aware that the topic will eventually be towards me and if/when I will get married. I cant get too indignant with family on that issue but I really don’t want to discuss that this year.

We leave for Mauritius on 27th night(after voting of course) and am looking forward to exploring that island. I long for the ocean and white sands.

For those with a shags to visit, I envy you.

Happy holidays folks
Some holidays?

Posted: December 18, 2007, 1:00 pm by Seasons

I question the logic of having yet another public holiday bang in the middle of the week in a month that is already shortened by elections and the Xmas break.

The fact that it is in the middle of the week means that folks will party and will not be at full production mode come Thursday!

Dont get me wrong, I welcome the break- any break for that matter but there are bills to be paid and thus shareholder objectives have to be met!

Then staff will wonder why they cant get a bonus when we have had so many holidays!!
Valerie Kimani’s “Baisikeli”

Posted: December 10, 2007, 10:32 am by Seasons

I attended Valerie Kimani’s “Baisikeli” Album launch last evening. This was a close event with family, sponsors and close friends invited. Valerie personally handpicked the attendees. I guess the idea here was to “test” her performance with people who would support her through anything. If you can recall, Valerie won the [...]
Valerie Kimani’s “Baisikeli”

Posted: December 10, 2007, 10:32 am by Seasons

I attended Valerie Kimani’s “Baisikeli” Album launch last evening. This was a close event with family, sponsors and close friends invited. Valerie personally handpicked the attendees. I guess the idea here was to “test” her performance with people who would support her through anything. If you can recall, Valerie won the [...]
The Butterfly Effect

Posted: December 5, 2007, 11:45 am by Seasons

I was watching The Butterfly Effect last night. If you have not watched the movie, it is loosely based on the theory that the flutter of a butterfly wings can set things in motion to lead to a tsunami in a different part of the world. The movie however depicts the main character’s [...]
Hungry? Is that a country?

Posted: December 3, 2007, 4:25 pm by Seasons

I first heard of Kellie Pickler during the Idols 2006 show and did not hear much about her until her song ‘ I wonder’ hit the charts. The song resonated with me because it talks about a child abandonment by the Mother at 2 years old. Readers of this blog will understand why I would entertain [...]
A squad of 12

Posted: December 3, 2007, 10:25 am by Seasons

Am in Dubai for the opening leg of the IRB 7’s circuit. This leg has been Kenya’s best performance in this tournaments and a dream start since we became a core team of the circuit. This weekend, team performed very well beating Wales , USA and running teams like Samoa, Argentina and South Africa really close. You [...]
Joseph Update, the Book and my vote

Posted: November 27, 2007, 4:15 pm by Seasons

For someone who has had a tumultuous two weeks, am really smiling!! My despondency just got lifted by word that Joseph had successful surgery over the weekend and although he will be on anti-rejection drugs, the kidney transplant done in Bangalore was a success. I talked to the Mother this morning and She is quite elated with the progress. They are likely to fly back to Hong Kong next week and she promised to keep me posted on developments.

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I went to my daughters school yesterday and the head teacher and I spoke about the adolescence book and she promised to look into it. She called me back a few minutes ago to tell me that they have withdrawn their recommendation of the book and they will continue their programme without it.

Only a handful of students had bought the book and since it is not part of the curriculum, they feel they dont want the school involved in a book parents dont approve of. She informed me that after I left yesterday, two more parents visited her and she received a few calls about the matter. I am pleased that there are parents that take time to go through reading materials issued to their children.

——————————————————————————————————————–

I have kept away from political discussions. If pushed, I can say am one of the undecided and although I intend to exercise my right to vote, mine is still up for grabs.

None of the Presidential candidates have convinced me why I should vote for them. My parliamentary candidate is KJ for the simple reason that I have spoken with him and he has explained to me his vision for his constituency.Am not sure he will beat Beth Mugo though as the constituency is likely to vote against him just because he belongs to ODM. I happen to live in his constituency which is an interesting phenomenon in itself because when I cross the road to shop, am in Langata constituency.The nearest police Station which is about 300 meters from my house is in Kajiado constituency which if I was to travel ‘home’ to vote like many Kenyans do, I would vote there.
What kids are learning- Are you in control?

Posted: November 24, 2007, 4:45 pm by Seasons

Many private schools have an adolescent programme for kids. This is no different with the school my kids attend. My oldest daughter will soon turn 12 and has been put in such a programme. Her school is about to break for Xmas holidays and her class were given a list of topics they should discuss with their parents.

Amongst the items they are supposed to discuss with their parents are Democracy, religion, corruption, safe sex, puberty and sexuality. My daughter is a late bloomer and whilst her classmates have developed physically, she still has a flat chest and maybe the last one to get her periods. That notwithstanding, I am ahead of the school for I have discussed most of these topics with her. Erstwhile taboo topics like Sex and menstruation have already been covered in our home. Digress.. As a single father, I realized there are some things a man just doesn’t know and I have recruited a few family members and friends to discuss some of these things with my children. I still sit in all the lessons and maintain control of what they learn’ end of digress.

Anyhow, to guide parents in these discussion, a teacher in another school has published a book and they are selling it to private school kids. I bought the book and on reading through I was shocked when it came to the topic of Sexuality. The author goes ahead to condemn homosexuality and calls it a deviant lifestyle that people choose. She goes to warn boys not to play girl sports and not to be effeminate because they might become gay. The writer goes on to call this a new fad and the kids should be wary of someone who turns them gay. I am still in shock.

Let me bring the matter into perspective.. A close family member( Lets call him Uncle B) is gay and lives with his boyfriend in Nairobi. I have been brought up in quite a liberal family and our entire family has always known about Uncle B. I understand that initially there are some Aunties who took issue with his sexuality but eventually the matter settled and now it is just one of those family secrets that all family members know but don’t discuss with outsiders. I allow my kids to visit with this couple. Am not sure they really know details but they pretty much have a picture what being gay mean as it is a topic we have already covered with the older girl.

First of all I am surprised that the school allowed this book to be distributed and sold to their students. I wonder if this is the schools position. Reading through the book, I have found many factual errors on many topics and especially on sexuality and I have this feeling that there is a Christian fundamentalism agenda in the book. Although the author is entitled to take their personal opinions on such topics, as a parent, I don’t want my kids to grow up homophobic and to hate or discriminate on people who are different from them.

I know this gay issue is usually a hot topic coz every time I visit this Kenyan gay blog I see the comments people make and their lack of understanding of this topic. I also know there are a few gay hate websites on the net including one by a Kenyan. It is one of those misunderstood topics and one people have strong opinion on.

Having a family member who is gay changes ones perspective on the matter. I have read extensively on the sexuality subject. Having spent time with this couple, I understand what they went through to come out. It does not help the fact that they are a mixed race couple coz that has its challenges.

Back to my subject matter, I intend to visit my daughters school to discuss this book with the head teacher. I have a strong belief that She has not read this book and knowing the proprietors of the school, I doubt they would have sanctioned this book if they read it.

I believe as a parent I should be in control of what my kids read at this tender age. Am glad my daughter has not read this book yet and what she has grown up knowing about uncle B will not be contradicted. When she is older, she may reason differently but at the moment, it is my duty to teach her.
I got them back

Posted: November 19, 2007, 9:48 am by Seasons

I got my girls back on Saturday morning and I spent every moment with them through out the weekend. Thanks for the good wishes from all.

We take a lot of things for granted and are mostly guilty of making assumptions of and ignoring the inevitable like grey hairs and even death.

In a span of a few hours, I learnt what the feelings of despair, abandonment, betrayal, loneliness and loss means. I did not go to work on Friday as I battled to get my kids back and I eventually had to sign away whatever the greedy hawks lawyers wanted. Am still amazed that they could not tell that I would have given ANYTHING to get custody.

Anyhow, I now have them back and am almost guaranteed that there will be no objection to my application for full custody.

I will now get back to the task of raising them.
Custody: Destroy a soul in the name of love

Posted: November 16, 2007, 2:51 am by Seasons

Sometimes a child can be with a parent who will destroy them just to show how much they love them.

Am writing this at 3 am coz I cant sleep. My children are not in my house- not because I choose it or they do but because of greed and stupid Kenyan laws.

When my wife left me 4 years ago, she left me with two little girls( the youngest was one year old and the elder one was 6). She moved in with her mother and was soon seeing someone else. In the last 4 years, there have been little contact with the kids and I filed for judicial separation 3 years ago and for divorce a year later. I got the divorce decree last year on grounds of desertion and adultery. I have brought up my kids alone and they are now 5 and 11 years old.

The judge who heard our case agreed to separate the issue of Divorce, property and custody of the kids. Although I have been divorced for a year now, the custody hearing is coming up now. It was my intention to complete the entire process as soon as possible but Kenyan courts do not hasten such things.

My custody hearing is up this month and I got home this evening at 6 pm only to find that my ex-wife came home and took the kids with her. You can imagine how I felt when I was expecting my youngest to meet me at the door like she always does only to be met by her Nanny red-eyed and looking so dejected and her only words..” Hawako, Ame wachukua..kwanini baba *****? Kwanini ume muacha awachukue?” ( They are gone..why did you let her take them?). Apparently, my house help and the Nanny tried to reach me the whole afternoon on the cell and in the office but I was at the club where they do not allow cell phones and my secretary could not reach me.

I have tried everything for the last 6 or so hours. I drove across town to my ex wife’s house and she could not allow me even to speak to them. I could hear my kids crying behind the door but she could not even allow me to say good night to them.

Apparently, this morning, my lawyer served her with the custody hearing papers and this was her best reaction. Kenyan courts will most of the time grant custody to the Mother regardless of how inept she is. My ex has probably seen these kids for not more than 10 times since we separated. She has not even shown interest in their affairs apart birthdays and the ubiquitous telephone calls.

This evening, she had the audacity to tell me that She is the kids mother too and she wants an opportunity to show them she loves them too. I wondered where the love was 5 years ago when she left an infant and another in kindergarten. How can you demonstrate love these many years later?

She knows that with the evidence available of her ineptitude in her maternal duties, she is unlikely to get them. Her lawyer informs me to meet him tomorrow morning to write up an agreement for his submission to court. It is all driven by greed as she wants financial support and for me to give up my matrimonial home to her. The irony is- am willing to give her anything she wants as long as I get to live with my children but she does not know that.

Thank God, the kids are on holiday for I fear how she would have handled a school day, with getting them ready and dropping them,. We have such a routine each day and we work have worked at it so long. The youngest girl usually falls asleep in my arms or on the couch next to me then I take her to bed. It is such little things like this that she does not even understand. My pain was worst when I could heard them cry behind the door seeking to leave with me.

I have worked hard over the years in a single parent environment to provide for and make these kids happy..it is painful to see them go through this albeit for a night. Being held at ransom only so that I can sign off a financial settlement is so painful. What is money and property in the face of your flesh and blood?

The older one managed to sneak and call me an hour ago when the Mother was asleep and she was crying asking me why this was happening. She kept telling me to go for them. I do not want to cause a scene but the girls are sure to remember this night.

I will get them back tomorrow but the message is clear… and really painful.
The Journey or the destination?

Posted: November 10, 2007, 3:28 pm by Seasons

My sis and I were watching a rerun of Eve and one of of her friends was telling her how when a black woman goes on a first date with a guy, she is already imagining the wedding day with him. My sis confirms that to be a fact with Kenyan women.

My sis goes on to tell me that as long as a man is eligible( aren’t all men eligible?), it is every womans wish to get married one day. My girlfriend concurs and she adds that it is important for a lady to know quite early in the relationship if the man they are seeing is the marriageable type.

To me, it seems that for the ladies, it is all about the destination and little to do with the journey. For a man, they don’t set out to look for a wife but more want to enjoy knowing the person without really thinking about where the relationship is going. I certainly don’t want to start worrying about where my 4 months relationship is going. I haven’t even thought about introducing her to my kids leave alone seeing her as a wife. Eeeish..the pressure the ladies put on themselves analyzing each move the dude makes wondering if the relationships is heading towards marriage.

Our older folks also seem to put pressure on us as we go through the late 20’s and 30’s with questions of when we will settle down. “Settling down’ being the code phrase for marriage.

I know am jaded but definitely will want to get married some day but like I said in an earlier post, I don’t want to send a message of hope to my girlfriend that I wish to get married soon.

I wish to enjoy the journey and if the destination is marriage, then so be it but I just don’t want to put pressure on myself. Cant a Kenyan couple ignore family pressures and remain partners for life without a legal union?

Ah..let me enjoy my easy weekend( the first in a long time) where I have no plans and without pressure. Enjoy yours folks
Clandez

Posted: November 6, 2007, 3:06 pm by Seasons

My boy and I were discussing the issue of Clandez this last weekend. For the uninitiated, (and if I must explain) is a lover you have on the sly. There usually is no romance in the real sense but quite some sexual chemistry. Clandez as a word is Kenyan slang and is drawn from the word Clandestine.

Back to my tale–So my pal was telling me about this buddy of his who has had this chick on the side for over 3 years. This chick was a Clande as far as he was concerned but the Chick considered herself his girlfriend all along. He went on to tell me that the Dude had never introduced this girl to his friends, never took her anywhere public, did not hang out with her and the only times they met were in her house for sex. In the meantime, the dude has dated and broken twice with people he considered his girlfriends whilst keeping this clande.

Recently, I think the Clande decided to demand more “rights” asking why she never met his friends, his family and why he would spend time with other chicks and not with her. So the dude has decided to end whatever it is they had.

I wonder how she couldn’t tell over the years that she was a Clande. How is it you can “see” someone on these terms over that long and you can tell you are not his girlfriend. Chris rock in his song “No sex” says that ” if you have dated a guy for four months and you have not met any of his friends, you are not his girlfriend”. I totally agree but 3 years? Surely you would know that something is not right in that relationship.

As for dudes, what are the rules on this Clandez business? I just feel for this chick and wonder what went through her mind when she found out she was a Clande all along.
Joseph

Posted: October 30, 2007, 9:07 am by Seasons

I always try and connect at a human level with anyone who gives me services. By this I mean, I will chat a waitress in a restaurant or even a flight stewardess on a flight. I will always inquire on how the day was, if time allows, I will ask about where they are from and comment something about them. I always did this and have made friends around the world this way.

Last year in May, I went to this restaurant in Kowloon and I got talking to this waiter who looked South Indian and although he was 23, he looked 16. I asked him whether people do comment about that and told me that usually, patrons of this restaurant and people in Hong Kong are not that friendly to chat with service people. He informed me that he had a pituitiary gland problem called Hypopituitarism that meant he will not thrive like other men and he will always look like boy. He went on to tell me he was paying his way through college by waiting on tables and also paying his medical bills. After my meal, I him tipped heavily and we exchanged contacts- neither of us ever got in touch.

So when I visited HK last week after the world cup, I decided to dine in this same restaurant. I asked about Joseph and I was told that his pituitary gland problems escalated and affected his system and he got acute renal failure and is now on dialysis and he can no longer work. You can imagine how I felt. Although it was the same day that I was leaving, I abandoned my meal, got his address and took a cab over. I got to his apartment where he lived with his mother. I explained who I was and that I needed to see Joseph.

When I was ushered in to his bedroom, although Joseph was a pale shadow of himself and looked really weak, what surprised me was how he beamed at me, called my name and ask about my kids- by their name with the right pronunciation too. He told me that the prognosis is not very good for him as his body is really weak and he is due to go to India for a kidney transplant once he is strong enough to fly. I spent the rest of my hours there visiting with him.

The amazing thing about this man is his strong will to survive against a debilitating disease and the surprising thing is he is planning for the future. Joseph genuinely believes he will pull through this, finish his degree and will join an investment bank in HK. He told me that he believes his sole purpose in life is to take care of his widowed Mother( who is now the one nursing him). I barely made my flight and Joseph was and has been in my mind? I have never felt so helpless in my life.

I totally believe he will pull through and will make it. I also feel that God sent me to that guy and their is a reason why I met him and we became friends. This trip was serendipitous and the visit to the restaurant was also a chance. I know there are lots of Kenyans who need help but I believe that South Indian boy/man’s destiny is somehow tied with mine. Joseph does not need money as a foundation in HK is taking care of his costs. Am not really sure what I should do if anything at all but am driven to learning more about hypopituitarism and to seeing Joseph get through this.
New Crib

Posted: October 25, 2007, 10:55 pm by Seasons

Here I am in my new crib and as you can see, am still cleaning and arranging furniture.

I still need to learn so much about wordpress and would not mind a hand. I promised to post photos of France and the world cup. I still dont know how but will find out soon and post them.

Am leaving Hong Kong this weekend to be home by the weekend. I have been away for three weeks and knowing Kenya, a lot has transpired and I need to catch up on the news.

I cant wait to get back home and celebrate my little angles birthday with her. My girlfriend( am allowed to call her that now- The post is in the oven) complains she did not know that 3 weeks can be that long.

Please welcome and dont just sit there..help me arrange the furniture.
I did not sell…

Posted: October 22, 2007, 10:25 am by Seasons

Some decisions are hard to make. I decided not to sell my ticket for the finals. The game was ugly- not that it was expected to be otherwise. I was thrilled that South Africa won the title.

I felt that Selling the ticket would negate the reason I came to France in the first place. You see, back in 2003 when England beat Australia, we agreed with my boys that we would watch the next final live. I saved, took time off work and to get here watch the one quarter final and semis. To miss the finals would have been left me feeling kinda empty. The SA dude got a ticket in the black market am sure.

Am off to Hong Kong this evening and will be back home next week. Sorry Farmgal, Mocha and 3OTC. I will have to give the UK a miss this time. Duty calls.

On a different note, am contemplating moving houses to wordpress. Seeing that my entire blog roll has moved, I am feeling quite lonely here.
French media and my rugby finals ticket

Posted: October 19, 2007, 2:11 pm by Seasons

Am still in Paris and I know I have added another kilo or so. I am really having a great time and my credit card is going to melt soon.

The media here had been gripped with the rugby world cup fever but as soon as the Hosts were bundled out last weekend, the news changed to the transport strike. People here are facing difficulties getting home coz of the strike. The Paris transport authority pledged that it would give “special treatment” to the subway line feeding Parc des Princes for Friday night’s Rugby World Cup third-place playoff between France and Argentina. That is how Rugby mad this county is.

Today, the main story is on the Presidents divorce. Only in France could this happen. Imagine in Kenya, Kibaki divorcing Roocy whilst as a sitting president.

Now, A South African has offered me equivalent to Kshs 600,000/= for my ticket to the final. Tickets are sold out and people are still checking in into the city especially the English looking for tickets. Yaani I paid around Kshs 5000 for the ticket way back in February this year and it can fetch that much! I have to make the decision by tomorrow afternoon.Would you sell it?
Modjo, Paris and rugby

Posted: October 11, 2007, 9:56 am by Seasons

One would imagine that being in Paris and better connectivity would inspire me to write. I find the case to be exactly opposite although am in the process of recharging.

Paris is great and I have met a lot of Kenyans who traveled for the world cup. I ended being accommodated by a friend who actually plays rugby professionally in France. I consider myself a wine connoisseur and am enjoying the samples available here.

The French are quite optimistic about their chance of winning the Webb Ellis trophy- they seem to have forgotten their loss to the Puma’s. My money is still with the Springboks although they still have the mountain of Argentine to climb this weekend. In the meantime, I still have so many sights to sample. It is a pity I will not post the pictures here.
Personal Brand

Posted: October 3, 2007, 7:55 pm by Seasons

My meddling sister is at it again and as always she is making a lot of sense. I went for lunch with her and Mum on Sunday and my relationship came up as usual. My sis reckons that my girlfriend is good for my personal brand. Digress.. You will notice I have now referred to her as a girlfriend now- I am working on a post on when the labels change in relationships..at what point do people start referring to each other as an item…end of digress.

On to branding…..As a marketing student many years ago, I learnt the steps of building a brand and its relevance to growth. So if a corporate brand is an idea in the minds of customers, then a personal brand is the idea of me in the minds of everyone I come in contact with.

Having established that on personal brand, my sis and I agree that, as a businessman, the person I date needs to reflect my personal brand. i.e At a bare minimum, she should be able to hold her own in conversation in a corporate event like a cocktail, dinner etc, look the part and be able to easily interact in my social circles.

My mum disagreed with us and reckons that although it is important that my partner is able to reflect my brand, it can be developed over time and need not be relevant at the initial stages. She advises that I should not look for a trophy girlfriend/wife. She went on to ask me.’”does this young lady have the potential to be molded?” Whewww…molding? Another post all together.

Mum in her wisdom reckons that at my age( I don’t see the relevance), I need to look for a homebuilder and not necessarily someone who looks good in the eyes of those I relate with. She gave an example of a chick who was our neighbour when growing up, who is “homely”. Please note that Mum is almost 70 years old and when she describe a lady as homely, she means does not drink, dresses like a school teacher and spends her free time either in church or with her Mother- No thanks! Anyhow, this is a woman in her opinion who has potential to be developed and may not fit the part now? Gosh..this lady and she is 32 and still has potential?

I am not saying that am superficial although there is that in all of us. What my Sis meant and I concur, was the process of dating should involve evaluation of what values one brings to the other party. It helps if one improves the net value( and not necessarily financial worth) of the other party.

My career dictates a lot on how my social life puns out and I end up interacting with my customers in social settings. My customers are mostly high net worth individuals and decision makers in corporations. Marketing has a lot of perception issues and hence the need for a good positive and strong brand. In this respect, my partner should reflect the part. I am not sure I can deal with a behind the scenes kind of partner who supports me from home.

For once my sister and I agree on something. I cant help and be indignant with her insistence of examining every aspect of my girlfriend though. Time will tell…..
My scars

Posted: September 24, 2007, 2:40 pm by Seasons

After all the celebrations,imbibing and inebriations that marked my birthday, I decided to spend yesterday evening alone and reflect. A glass of Chablis, a great book and Sadao Watanabe playing in the background. Anyhow I am sure you get the mood of my evening…pensive and easy.

As I reflected, I realized that what build a man is episodes of trauma and hardships and this produces scars. Every scar has its identity and serves to remind you where you have been. These scars although not physical, are part of me and shows me the possibility of what I can be.

I was young and naive in the 80’s but one decision that am proud of was when I dropped out of college in 89 because I was not happy with the course and I felt horticulture was not my thing. The consequence of this was many big fights with my parents and a painful period. I am glad I managed to convince them to pay for a business degree. My mum would never admit she was wrong but am sure she is proud of what I have been able to achieve. I am wearing that scar.

In the 90’s, I was searching for my destiny. I was looking in all the wrong places and making all the mistakes. I was moving way too fast and going back too quickly. I quit my second job on a principle and got fired from my third one. Although it did not take me long to get back on my feet, going into business for myself paid off. I discovered myself and found my purpose during that phase. I am wearing that scar.

I think this was the painful episode of my life but it soon passed. Pain is not permanent and despite the lingering memory, am proud of myself for overcoming that part of my life. Betrayal,separation and the eventual divorce was very tough. That scar still has a dull ache.

Life is all about relationships and most of the mistakes I have made has been in relationships. I have taken people for granted, I have broken hearts and hurt people. In the same vein, I have been hurt and let down by friends, family and lovers. I have used these Love and trust in vain. Consequently, I have now built a small solid circle of friends who I can trust and whose friendship I rely on. The scars from relationships vary from deep long ones and small ones from scratches.

In this century, most mistakes have been in the process of building business. I have made investments-lost and profited. The was taught painfully a lesson 3 years ago to always invest in something you understand. I invested in a friend venture in hospitality and lost my entire outlay. The friendship has suffered and another scar produced.

I would not change of them and I wear them all with dignity
A year older…..

Posted: September 19, 2007, 11:20 am by Seasons

Tomorrow is my big day……yap..a year older, a year wiser and 5 kilos heavier.
Courtship or dating?

Posted: September 6, 2007, 6:32 pm by Seasons

Keeping on with this story…. I have been seeing the lady for two months now and things are going great and I recently introduced her to my Sister.

My sister is very protective of her younger brother (read me). She has a way of confusing my brain with questions that only females can ask. e.g. What do you want with this girl? What do you want out of this relationship? etc. I could answer only one of those questions with a brush-off answer- ” You chill Sis,its still early days”

BUT… then She comes up with a very peculiar question-” Are you guys dating or are you courting her?” WTF!!!….. Digress.. I believe my folks made a mistake by taking this Sister of mine to those British schools. How the hell does a dude who did CPE and KACE ( Yeah..am totally old school) know the difference between dating and courting?..end of digress. So, I went..” Eh..hmmmm..er.. Can I get back to you on that one?”

I guess Sisters were made for a reason and if to confuse Brothers and plant doubts in their minds was it; then My Sister wins the cup. I am not about to discuss this with my boys today as we watch the game. I know if i raised it, i would be called a wuss as they say Iam too much of a lover( meaning one who falls in love and not the other one). Now here I am and the only tools I have are Google and Wiki. These tools’ description of the two is as follows:-

Dating

Dating is any social activity performed as a pair or even a group with the aim of each assessing the other’s suitability as their partner in a intimate relationship. The word refers to the act of agreeing on a time and “date” when a pair can meet and engage in some social activity.

Courting
Courting is about getting to know someone enough to discover whether or not the two people would be compatible for marriage. It begins as a friendship and opens the door for discussions on important issues such as individual goals, morals, values, religious beliefs, children, family, etc

Okay now that clears it; but the confusion abounds! I like starting with the end in mind. So if I am dating this chile, it means that all am interested in is an intimate relationship and if I am courting her, then I am looking for spousal compatibility.

I have been called naive in relationships and I think it is a good thing. However I have been married and done the whole nine yards and although I know I wish to get married again, it is not a vibe I wish to send out to someone I just met and am getting to know. Moreover it is in a long distant future that I cant even want to put a flicker of hope in that direction.

Back to starting with the end in mind, this is the first time I cant determine what I really want with someone. I am deeply in need of companionship and with my being a single father, I crave for someone to share free moments with regardless of how rare those free moments come.

Dating or courting? I cant answer the question simply for the fact that I don’t have an answer.Is it not ok to just enjoy the process of knowing someone without the pressure of what the relationship might turn to be?