Items by Mwistar
The African Accent
-
The African Accent Is Moving
Posted: October 17, 2009, 5:20 am by Mwistar
Hey guys!
I am slowly transitioning to my new home:
http://theafricanaccent.wordpress.com
I have not quite settled in, but feel free to check it out.
-
… Mumbai International
Posted: October 10, 2009, 7:13 am by Mwistar
I bought a finance textbook from India. Including the shipping, it still cost almost two thirds less than what my local bookstore sells it for. It is legitimate of course: It dons a sticker (with a hologram) from the publisher… you know ... the kind that somehow make items feel authentic and genuine. (I should get those things for first dates ... just a thought). The difference between my ‘international edition’ and the book offered here is colour. The sticker is the only thing that is not black and white on my book.
So, I’m reading chapter 18, and I pick up an obvious contradiction. An error where two ideas have been transposed in a sentence, skewing the whole concept being explained. A simple editing mistake. But just to make sure, I decide to approach the mwalimu to make sure I’m not seeing my own things.
Very awkward encounter. His adrenaline level was very high. I could tell he was quite tense even as I pointed out the paragraph in question. He took the book in his hands. Trembling. The pages were flapping audibly. It's impossible to read a book vibrating at that frequency. I could even feel the cool air being fanned. It seemed to me like he was scheming an evil device, to jump me at any moment when I least suspected it.
Was it my black and white book? Maybe he is passionate about the subject and, because he cares so much, he was upset that the error went unnoticed by the writer. Either way, I wasn't about to stick around to find out. I chose flight from the stocky professor, of course, with my Mumbai International Edition safely back in my possession.
-
Change you can believe in
Posted: October 6, 2009, 3:07 am by Mwistar
Hey guys!The African Accent is almost a year old. I have thoroughly enjoyed the experience. In an effort to stay relevant,and interesting, I am recapping, reflecting on, and applying all the lessons I have learned thus far. There will be a few changes within the next few weeks with regards to the page layout, and content. Basically, I am rebuilding the blog from scratch, in an effort to stay relevant, interesting and more informative. Also, I will be introducing a more predictable structure to my blogging frequency.I shall keep you posted. Please be patient. In the mean time, enjoy this puzzle of Samburu dancers. (click on the bottom left 'play' button to start)
-
Recession Bites: Back On The Grid
Posted: October 4, 2009, 6:04 pm by Mwistar
Why lie, life without a cell phone is hard. So, I started shopping again. This time, I am determined not to sign up to the usual Canadian phone companies that charge ridiculous cell phone rates. Last week, I stumbled on the best deal I have ever seen.
For $20/month, Witel will give me a phone number from practically any country, caller ID and voicemail, free incoming calls, and unlimited calling to at least 48 countries. Beat that Rogers Wireless!
The only catch is that I need an IPhone, or the mostly unrated Witel Jetter handset that they are offering for $60. But still, not a bad deal at all.
-
Adolf Hitler Sex Video
Posted: October 2, 2009, 4:53 pm by Mwistar
As an African, I am used to public awareness advertisements warning about the AIDS epidemic. I thought I had seen them all, until a German ad firm managed to shock me senseless.
Their campaign slogan is: AIDS is a mass murder. The ads feature some of history’s infamous (i.e. Adolf Hitler, and Saddam Hussein) performing raunchy acts that are sure to leave a lasting impression, and possibly dampen plenty-a-mojo for years.
Effective or not? You be the judge.
WARNING: The video features sexually explicit material
(courtesy of adsoftheworld.com)
-
Thirsty Thursdays: chasing distractions
Posted: October 1, 2009, 4:17 am by Mwistar
(It’s not about my fellow blogger, Chasing Distractions)
Somebody confessed to me that she can not have sex unless she is drunk. She can’t even imagine sober 'rubs' (WTF). However when I think about it, I am less than qualified to pass any judgement on her. I couldn't imagine a booze without a cigarette until very recently.
After that disturbing confession, I am more determined than ever to stop smoking. To prove to myself that I could do it, I went ahead and bought a pint of Heineken, sat close to the smoking section of the bar, and willed myself to drink and not smoke.
The beer tasted damn good; probably because my taste buds have had time to recover and rejuvenate since last week. My willpower wavered at one point, and I actually lit a cigarette. It was awful. Plus, the look that my date threw my way came with a shiver cold enough to extinguish the gaff after just two puffs. Exhilarating!
I think I have found a distraction to chase instead of idle thoughts of smoking.
Last week’s poison count – nominal
-
News From The Docket: Blogger vs A blogger
Posted: September 28, 2009, 1:42 am by Mwistar
It seems that I opened a can of worms when I did that infamous blog post ‘Does Sex Sell?’. It is by far the most popular post on my blog, but very clearly for the wrong reasons. The traffic it generated may have also contributed to the undoing of the blog ‘Inside Karen Lucas and other things sexual’ (insidekarenlucas.blogspot.com), which has recently been suspended by Blogger.
On many occasions, I tried to get in touch with the editor, but no contact information was provided on that blog. It did not take long for me to realize that whoever was behind it, definitely was not Karen Lucas (although I am highly suspicious that it was a fellow African). This prompted me to rethink my content, and more importantly, to draft a disclosure policy (which has been attracting a lot of attention from Zain IP addresses from West Africa).
So far, other than the request to remove specific names from my post, I have not been summoned to the docket. I will be sure to keep you guys posted on any new developments that come to my attention.
-
Sheng Word Of The Week: kuburusha
Posted: September 28, 2009, 4:03 pm by Mwistar
-
A Dirty Secret: Child Sex Trade in Kenya
Posted: September 26, 2009, 5:05 pm by Mwistar
A Dirty Secret: Child Sex Trade in Kenya -
Bob’s Your Uncle
Posted: September 26, 2009, 4:19 pm by Mwistar
While working in Ottawa a few years back, I had the privilege of constantly visiting consulates and embassies in Canada’s capital city. Zimbabwe’s consulate was (and probably still is) a beautifully restored historical house with plaster decor and crown moulding, cathedral ceilings, and heavy wooden doors and floors.
Behind the receptionist’s desk was a huge portrait of Robert Mugabe (looming like Big Brother), which made him look thirty years younger than his 85 year old face should be. In fact, the friendly young receptionist seemed to share an uncanny resemblance with him. Every time I spoke to her, I would fight the urge to burst out laughing. My nickname for her: Bobette.
I never thought much of it, until when I watched CNN interview him yesterday (when he calls Desmond Tutu a little man with devilish talk). Mugabe doesn’t seem to age that much, considering the stresses that come with wearing his crown. Does Uncle Bob use Botox?
-
Uganda Reveals Oil Deal
Posted: September 26, 2009, 4:07 pm by Mwistar
A few months ago, I wrote a piece on Uganda and the newly discovered oil fields. At the time, the agreement between Tullow Oil and Museveni’s government was secret. I opted to interview an analyst in the industry to gain a little insight into what the deal should entail.
Turns out that Uganda did not sell itself short after all. New Vision Online revealed in an exclusive interview with Tullow CEO, that Uganda will get 8 out of every 10 barrels produced. In comparison, Ghana gets 6 out of every 10.
-
Thirsty Thursdays: dear facebookers
Posted: September 24, 2009, 4:22 am by Mwistar
I have a bone to pick with some Facebook friends. Don’t take it personally; my stress levels seem to rise more when my blood is lacking regular nicotine levels. The alcohol withdrawal symptoms don’t help either.
Anyways, guys … yes, it’s the men, not the women, who I have a quarrel with. Messages like,
“you are supper ,iam from western but niko coast,i like your figure baibe”
“geez u got a kiler.......”
“are you from heaven coz unakaa malaika”
“You are know a friend of mine and you don't know me, what would want to know about me?”
“i will be please if you can keep in touch with, just writ me back i want to hear from you. im in Brasil though im an frican please writ back.”
“What's up girlfriend(a friend who happens to be a girl)? I don't know anythiing about you. If you were to talk about yourself what would you say?”
… should not be sent to people you don’t know. Just because you have been added as a ‘friend’, it does not mean that you are actually friends. And the likes of the above grammar diminish the chances even greater. If you must attempt to vibe a mama, at least do it with a language you have a good command in. It goes a long way.
Of my cigarette addiction:
I went three days without a puff, only to FAIL miserably after Shoks handed me a few fresh duty free Embassy Lights. I am determined to do better.
Seven Day poison total: 14
PS. I hate the mood swings.
-
Sheng Word Of The Week: msekete
Posted: September 21, 2009, 5:33 pm by Mwistar
msekete
-verbin the African accent: mu-se-ke-te
Usage examples:
who used this first? : Unknown
when was it first used?: Early 2000
definition in English: Sex
synonyms: Bamba, Binja, Browse, Chanja, Chea, Choma, Chorea, Dinya, Finya, Funga, Fyeka, Gawa, Jigijigi, Kamata, Kata, Kata Uzi, Kubon, Kudu, Kugawa, Kula, Kumanga, Kuta, Kuta Vitu, Kuyeng', Kwachu, Lungula, Manga, Mbinjo, Mnyanduo, Mthoso, Nginyo, Njoti, P-Square, Pare Pare, Pewa, Sakata, Seti, Shaba, Strokes, Strox, Thosa, Wahi, Weka Manyundo
Msekete bila condom ni risky sana.
Sex without a condom is very risky. -
Thirsty Thursday: of a parched organs
Posted: September 17, 2009, 4:03 am by Mwistar
Booze is my gateway to all kinds of vices. For example: when drinking, there comes a point (when I am about three or four beers old) at which a cigarette tastes so damn good! By this time, I am replaying Loco’s poem in my head (or rather, the only line I remember) … pass me the light!
It is after this particular gaf that my body demands to dowse my parched throat with yet another beer, which leads to another cigarette, and so on... I have decided that this must stop.
Starting today, September 17th at 00:01h EST, I will begin my third and final effort to kick my smoking habit(s). I will keep track of how many times I succumb to the cravings and report to you every Thirsty Thursday. Wish me luck.
Let me just admit that I am about to go have one right now. Then, I will throw away the rest of the pack, cry myself to sleep, and wake up a new man.
“Si we go out for a last gaf, ama?”
-
The problem with addiction
Posted: September 15, 2009, 4:03 am by Mwistar
It is difficult, especially in a recession, to convince you that I disconnected my phone as an experiment. Although I must admit it was terribly convenient to do so, considering the state of affairs in my current account. After almost a year without a cell phone, this is what I have learned:
1. The idea that I can not live without a cell phone is a myth.
2. I am not as important as I may sometimes think. They mourned my dead phone for about a month. After that, I was just cut off the social scene.
3. I did not miss the voice conversations. I yearned for text messages.
Like any other addiction, quitting is all about living with the cravings. Recently, I have been experiencing a recurring dream in which I have relationship-issues with my phone. Then it says to me,
“1 dA U wiL ask me wot iz mo important U o my lif & i wiL sA my lif & u U wiL wlk awA frm me not realisin dat u R my Lyf”
-
Sheng Word Of The Week: mbringish
Posted: September 14, 2009, 4:00 am by Mwistar
mbringish
-nounin the African accent: m-breen-gish
who used this first? : Unknown
when was it first used?: Late 2000’s
definition in English: Girlfriend, or woman, or female, usually considered beautiful
synonyms: Chikita, Chimama, Chipela, Chipipi, Demu, Manzi, Mboga, Mresh, Mshee, Mshi, Msupa, Mude, Supuu, Supu, Veggies, WaifudhesUsage examples:
Mbringish wangu anazusha.
My girlfriend is complaining. -
Thirsty Thursday: friends and francis
Posted: September 10, 2009, 4:00 am by Mwistar
I invited twelve friends and family to spend the long weekend at a cottage in the hilly forests of Ripon Village in Quebec. It was a three day extravaganza. I had more fun than I can describe. It was simply superb!
food with francis
I was in charge of making sure everybody was well fed. I could not pass up the opportunity to victimize a goat for such a purpose. Chapati, ugali, kachumbari, etc. (When I grow up, I want to be a stay home dad!)
fishing with francis
I attempted to catch a meal in the Petite Nation River which was in the backyard. The water was so clear, I could see the damn fish avoiding my hook.
We all tried canoeing (some could only paddle in circles). We also swam in the river (which reminded me of my childhood in Kitui when rivers still used to flow). We were full of glee while splashing around … until one of us was swept downstream by the current.
farming with francis
I think I derived way too much pleasure from wielding an axe. There is something about chopping firewood in the middle of a forest that I can’t explain. A natural lumberjack, I am.
fire with francis
My clothes still reek of that authentic shaggz wood fire smell. I kept a bonfire going every night, until the last of my drunken relatives staggered to bed. Drinking games were the order of the day (and night). During these events, many a liquor shots did plenty of damage.
falling for francis
We averaged about 144 beers, and 7 liters of hard liquor. By Monday morning, we were barely sober enough to make the 6 hour drive back to civilization (although nobody wanted to leave this paradise). We will be at it again next year, I promise.I would post more pictures, but my fellow cottagers are still debating on which ones are … presentable. Drink .... anybody?
-
I’ll be back …
Posted: September 4, 2009, 5:10 am by Mwistar
I am off to village in Quebec for the weekend. Fishing, swimming, hiking, canoeing, and eating some goat. Did I mention it is in wine country? I’ll be sure to take pictures. The camera and my IPod are the only electronics I will be carrying.
In the mean time, enjoy this is a throwback from 1978 when 10cc did an excursion into reggae.
-
Thirsty Thursday: where my heart soaks
Posted: September 3, 2009, 4:00 am by Mwistar
We (those I drink with) could be in the midst of a heated argument garnished with tribal connotations (just for good measure), but when it is a question of beer, we are very patriotic; singing the same tune in solidarity. Tusker! It could be just nostalgia.
I fell in love with Tusker Lager years ago, and the affair is still very passionate. Actually, I think it was the slogans I loved more than anything:
‘Has no equal, Makes us equal’, and ‘Beer yangu, Nchi yangu’ (my beer, my country).
What is your favorite African beer?
-
Torment Tuesdays: Betsy’s Anniversary
Posted: September 1, 2009, 4:09 am by Mwistar
It was on such a day that neighborhood riff-raffs violated my Betsy. I woke up that morning feeling pumped for work. I sang in the shower, and I even ate breakfast (which is very rare). The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and The Mwistar was feeling invincible. I stepped onto the street where I had parked Betsy the night before … but something was wrong.
There was a hole in the passenger side window of my beloved 1988 Toyota Corolla. I peered inside through this same hole with tears welling in my eyes; confused and dazed. I was afraid that if I touched her, the rest of the shattered glass that was hanging precariously would fall to the ground, adding insult to poor Betsy’s injuries.
I touched her. The glass fell.
The window cost more than the car, so I opted for a paper bag. In the winter, the ladies politely declined a ride in Betsy (damn city slickers!). All Tuesday ever gave me is pain. Is it the same for you?
-
Sheng Word Of the Week: shuzuki
Posted: August 31, 2009, 4:00 am by Mwistar
shuzuki
-verbin the African accent: shoo-zoo-kee
who used this first? : Kayole, Nairobi
when was it first used?: Early 2000’s
definition in English: To walk, or, to travel on foot, especially due to a lack of bus fare
synonyms: Eleven-cc, leggzas, kanyaga, route 11, one-twoUsage examples:
Leo niko na shuzuki.
Today I have to walk. -
Thirsty Thursday: My name is Kenya, and I’m an addict
Posted: August 27, 2009, 4:00 am by Mwistar
I used to joke about how people in Kenya complain that they have no money, yet bars are always at capacity. The joke has since gone very stale.
Forty percent of Kenyans between the ages of 15 and 65 years consume alcohol, according to a recent national survey.
This article also goes on to say that 2% if children between 10 to 14 have taken changaa (also known as ‘kumi kumi’, ‘kill me quick’, and ‘moonshine’).
Even worse is the sight of toddlers high on glue. Watch this Ross Kemp documentary on gangs between the four and the seven minute marks.
Can we do anything about it?
-
Mid-week movie
Posted: August 25, 2009, 8:49 pm by Mwistar
Mid-week movie -
What has changed?
Posted: August 25, 2009, 6:18 am by Mwistar
-
Sheng Word Of The Week: sixteen-A
Posted: August 24, 2009, 4:01 am by Mwistar
sixteen-A / 16-A
-nounin the African accent: sik-steen – ei
who used this first? : Central Business District, Nairobi
when was it first used?: Late 2000’s
definition in English: Evidence/ proof of innocence/ alibi
synonyms: noneUsage examples:
Uskii munde alinibamba kwa Betty. Ka 16-A ka-mine kaliraruliwa niaje!?
My girlfriend caught me at Betty's house. My alibi became worthless. -
The Mark of the Toilet Beast
Posted: August 23, 2009, 2:36 pm by Mwistar
Next to a clean kitchen, I can not stress enough the importance of a clean bathroom. Sure, once in a while my bathroom will experience some abuse at the hands of intoxicated friends and relatives (and I don’t mind cleaning up after). But what happened yesterday was beyond me.
To protect the identity of my relative, I will avoid certain details. She came over to ‘say hello’ in the afternoon. Her visit was very short: cup of tea, random chit-chat about the weather, and life in general. Then, she used the bathroom and left.
How she got her urine all over my toilet seat, I don’t know (I thought this was an exclusive guy thing). She didn’t even wipe the droplets … chemical spill (and it was a lot). I have tried to justify it as an accident, but who am I kidding? I am almost certain it was on purpose.
-
Thirsty Thursday: wananchi wapewe!
Posted: August 20, 2009, 4:04 am by Mwistar
Stan told me that he is going to sell Manila Bay, and moving back to West Africa. The idea is not going down well with his is Filipina wife. I must say, I was also a little saddened by the thought of losing my ka-local. I have so many fond memories from my teens resting within those walls. This is one of them.
Manila Bay was the first bar I ever saw my mother walk into. No, she had not come to quench her Thirsty Thursday. She was on a war path. Earlier that day, mom was playing host to a lady and her son, Paul, who were new to Canada. They were looking to network with other Kenyans in Toronto. I was asked to show the lady’s son around while they caught up on storoz. My pals and I decided to take him to Manila Bay, and shoot a few pool games. Naturally, we had to gather a few pitchers of beer.
I don’t know how she found us; all I remember was the door opening, and a figure walking in (in slow motion). She took a few steps in, paused (for her eyes to adjust to the darkness), and proceeded to surveil the room. I had just come from the bar and was holding two jugs of booze, when her gaze caught mine. Mom had this look I can’t explain. I knew I was wan-ted. A few of my boys had already ducked behind the pool table and were signaling saying, “Weh! Aki-ask, mazee mi siko!” Honor amongst thieves, eh?
Turns out, Paul’s mom was of the mind that alcohol is devil’s juice. What happened next can only be described in one word: Melee! I just couldn’t understand … if the boys are thirsty, si then wananchi wapewe?
Speaking of thirsty Kenyans, the following people need to be reminded about our thirst:
Daniel Moi, Gideon Moi, Joshua Kulei, Sammy Komen, Musa Sirma, and Samson K. Biir.
I know the list is longer, but these folks above allegedly own about 550 acres of Mau Forest collectively. Tafadhali, don’t hold our water hostage.
-
The Connected, and The Mau Forest
Posted: August 18, 2009, 5:02 am by Mwistar
As an essayist I don't believe in the fiction of an anonymous observer. Rather than the sham of objectivity, I think you should put you perspective up front. That's only fair to the reader.
I am trying.
I received an anonymous email listing about 70 names along with 2,031.17 acres of Mau Forest they allegedly own. Also included were plot numbers, and individual values, totaling KSh405,862,013 (US$5.5). I suspect this information is a derivative of the Ndung’u Report (assuming it is accurate). The email also bears a disclaimer (interestingly enough from a Kenyan mainstream media house) that gives the usual confidential, proprietary, legally privileged blah blah. Has anybody else seen it?
Normally, I would not hesitate to publish the names (like I did with the Waki List) but I’m not so sure this time around. The mentioned seem to have two things in common; they are very prominent personalities, and, (unlike the Waki List) they all seem to be from one ethnic tribe (I see witch hunt, tribalism, politically motivated, et cetera, being hurled at its credibility).
So, on one hand is the reputation of 70 personalities. Judging by how many times I read: police, intelligence, member of parliament, of government agency, son/daughter/wife of the former … you get the idea. I will cautiously assume they have resources capable of tickling me from where I sit.
On the other hand, I have my conscience and that of my fellow citizens who are regularly fed a diet of lies, and secret deals, by well connected grand theft politicians. Do I owe it to you to share the information?
-
Sheng Word Of The Week: trafik
Posted: August 17, 2009, 4:00 am by Mwistar
trafik
-nounin the African accent: tra-fik
who used this first? : (unknown)
when was it first used?: (unknown)
definition in English: Traffic police officer
synonyms: Akorino, Daewoo, Danse, Fedi, Gava, Karao, Karo, Koboo, Mahindra, Ninenine, Njako, Pai, Ponyi, Sanse, Sinya, VediUsage examples:
Oe! Kaa smart! Trafik.
Hey! Beware! Traffic cops. -
Kimani Ng,ang’a Maruge Dies
Posted: August 14, 2009, 6:44 pm by Mwistar
Live your life and forget your age
Mr. Maruge was the world's oldest pupil.
Tributes are pouring in on his Facebook page
-
Thirsty Thursdays: for the record
Posted: August 13, 2009, 3:05 am by Mwistar
Many times, I have done some very ignorant things in the name of pints. I know I am not alone, although not everybody will admit so readily to their alcohol induced mistakes.
The first time I got intoxicated was horrible. Boarding school, form one, first term, 1995. I didn’t exactly intend to get toasted that day. It was during exams, and we had a lot of dead time between classes. My truant buddy, Mauti, had planned for us an illegal outing across Juja Road. Mauti’s odd name was matched a character just as odd. He would wear all his school uniform at the same time, all the time. This made his back side look asymmetrical, coz the seam of the pants on top usually didn't line up with his anatomy. He later told me that he did this to prevent somebody from stealing his clothes.
So, Mauti, his three pairs of pants, his PE shorts, two collared shirts, and an orange Mombasa House t-shirt were my company and tour guide to Mathare slums that day. I was (and still am) what is generally referred to as a babi. So, rolling with a known ruffian, whose real name is Mauti gave me some street credibility (as long as he was present). Remember the Swahili saying; “Siri ya kifo, mauti aijuaye.” I should have know better.
We ended up at a shady mkahawa in the middle of … I still have no idea where exactly he took me. It was somewhere by a green stream. The mutarina was sweet (that I remember clearly), and before I knew it, the aroma from the pools of stagnant water, garbage, charcoal jikoz, and body sweat of many varieties didn’t bother me one bit. By the time we got back to school, I was drunk as a skunk, and smelling like one too.
The next morning was my chemistry exam. Clearly I wasn’t exercising any foresight. It would be the first time since I joined the 8-4-4 educational system that I was sitting for an exam with certainty of the outcome: failure. My hangover was something fierce. What even bothered me more was the beating I expected from Veom, who was the Mombasa House master, chemistry teacher, and part time discipline master (when Thenge and Ndyutu were otherwise occupied). I had missed a couple of roll-calls. True to his name, Mauti wasn’t bothered one bit by this.
I did fail. The proof is below. And yes, Veom twangad me squarely with a Bunsen burner gas pipe. I vowed never to drink again. Yet here I am fourteen years later, writing Thirsty Thursday blog posts.
Post Script
I’ve blacked out my ‘pay cheque name’ and my mom’s signature. And don’t ask me about why I failed Art and Design. My Thirsty Thursday diagrams should be case and point.
School was hard bana!
-
For The Readers: One to dem!
Posted: August 11, 2009, 4:57 am by Mwistar
This is a thank you to all my readers. I’m humbled that I actually have an audience. Your contributions to this blog have not gone unnoticed.
I also promised that I would give a shout-out to my 100th Twitter follower:
UGpulse! Pokea hiyo yako
By the way, if any of you happen to recognize yourselves in the above picture, it was not on intentional. (Probably taken at a rugby event)
Since you are the ones who make it happen, I also thought you might like to know the following:
Most popular post by aggregate page hits
And it’s popular BY FAR! Usually, those who happen across it have goggled ‘Zain’ or ‘Uganda’ and ‘sex’ or ‘scandal’ in various combinations. Almost all the traffic is from Africa, and almost all exits via ‘Inside Karen Lucas: and other things sexual’.
I think it was last week when I came across another blog that had plagiarized my content and carries those pictures. But I didn’t care to say anything. Frankly, if I had a chance to go back and re-post this story I would do it differently. Sex really does sell.
Most popular posts by single day page hits (00:00h to 23:59h EST)
- Thirsty Thursdays: 268 Reasons
- Somebody’s Watching Me (I initially suspected that it was because I put it up on the same day as the above Thirsty Thursday post. Then, it got more interesting when I found out that I made $1.20 from guys clicking on the ‘religious ad’ that I talked about in it.)
- We Go Big, Or We Go Home, Part 1 and Part 2. (I was surprised that this interview beat out the MJ tribute, the Nameless interview, and the Nazizi interview. Was it Steve Biko’s charisma?)
Most downloaded items
- Mwaka Utanje’s photo from her interview. (Guys ... I think I mentioned she was happily married)
- The sheng.co.ke logo. (How do you like that Mr. Ras Dunkie?)
- The barbecue from Thirsty Thursdays: drunken ideas (lol! to think that I threw it together when I was major tipsy … Not that it would make a difference if I was sober. Should I challenge Gathara at his game? hehe! I kid.)
Most commented on posts (my comments included)
- Daddy V’s Interview
- A tie between New Look and Diary of A Baby’s Daddy Wannabe
- Another tie between Things That Make Me Cringe and How Kenyan I’m I Really
Also,
Mashada is where most of the traffic comes from. Thanks for giving me those hits.
-
I got nothing but love for you
Posted: August 11, 2009, 4:07 am by Mwistar
When I started blogging, I wasn’t sure how to begin, or what to talk about. My content is still very haphazard (which is a reflection of my personality), and my writing style still leaves a a lot to be desired. But, thanks to you all, it has been ten months and I’m hooked. Who knows how long my psyke will last, so, this is my show of appreciation for making it worthwhile thus far.
Mama Shujaa gave me a lot of confidence. Thank you, thank you! In fact, yours was the first blog I read. And also for the comments; especially in the beginning when I was kidogo reluctant to reply. Your page has gone to inspire a lot, including the ‘LinkWithin’ gadget that Tamaku now uses.
The unofficial fan following on my FB has travelled to Gathara’s World and they like it. By the way, that’s a serious ‘fro you have on the new pic.
A Nairobian's Perspective deserves an honorable mention. At least I think it was you who linked the, ‘One Child per Laptop’ post to the Afrora Aggregator. Plus I joined Afrigator after I saw the badge on your page.
Loco I very much enjoy your stories. I found Bomseh and tHiNkEr’S rOoM those sides. Endeleeni please.
I can not forget Shiko-Msa, my second Google follower. By the way, the new page is timam. Aside from your unlimited humor, from your blog I poached, Kenya Imagine and Savvy (.. who also has a new page. Kwani what’s with Wordpress these days?).
I’m currently blog-stalking Kanyi and Wanjiku. Feel free to join in.
Back to you Tamaku. At first, I was scared to comment on your page. But it didn’t stop me from finding Rox, and Anengiyefa. Now, I don’t even take off my shoes when I waltz in. Keep doing your thing.
Rafiki Kenya was, my first Google follower. I don’t know how he found me. I see him everywhere though. Kainvestor, WillPress, Boyfulani, Kenyan Pundit, Bankelele, Kenya Christian, Kahenya, Chiiq, even Mr. Taabu’s infamous Kumekucha, the list gets longer by the day… I only have gratitude and praise. Asanteni sana for sharing your work.
I can’t get enough.
-
'tis but skin deep
Posted: August 10, 2009, 5:08 pm by Mwistar
I'm sure you have all heard of the horrific stories about mistreatment of albinos in East Africa. The blog Hot Secrets alerted me to a very interesting documentary, In My Genes, by Kenyan film-maker Lupita Nyong'o. I'm still trying to find a legitimate copy to watch.
In the mean time, enjoy the trailer, and an interview she does for current.com
This is the Official In My Genes Website
-
Sheng Word Of The Week: ding’oing’o
Posted: August 10, 2009, 4:00 am by Mwistar
-
A guest sees more in an hour than the host in a year
Posted: August 8, 2009, 1:15 am by Mwistar
Kenyan (Youth) Community in Ontario, invited me to a get-together in Mississauga. Thank you for the hospitality. Although I left without saying goodbye, it was duty and not ingratitude that motivated my actions.
If there's anything I do well, it is running late for social appointments. I was still in the shower at half past twelve. I arrived at the park in Mississauga at around 1:00 pm. Fashionably late. (I don’t know if it counts, because I was still the first one there). Anyways, I took the time to enjoy the scenery.
View Larger MapI forgot the camera at home in my rush. On this occasion, the weather was much gloomier. And although a thunder storm had been predicted, I could still clearly see the Toronto skyline in the distance.
Eventually guys trickled in and gravitated towards the ‘Picnic Area B’, as indicated on the invitations. It was about four in the afternoon and I still hadn’t eaten. Nobody was barbecuing yet, and it was beginning to rain. Eventually, a few of us took the initiative. When the first batch of meat was ready, it was devoured hastily. Most of the children had been running up and down the beach whilst the adults finished the food. Poor buggers.
My patience was running short, especially with folks throwing statements such as:
“Nyama ikiiva, kuja uniambie,”
and
“Mbona unapika nyama kama wazungu?” (I made an instant enemy with her grrr!)Luckily, there was another gentleman on self-appointed barbecue duty who took it all in stride and with good humor. His wife Audrey was Twice As Cool (I'll be sure to keep in touch).
When I couldn’t take it any more, I personally handed out the rest of the cooked meat straight from the grill to the children I could find. Then I left the uncooked chicken on the fire. I slowly slipped away to my car, smokey, hungry, and wet.
Can't wait for next year.
-
Somebody's Watching Me
Posted: August 7, 2009, 2:07 am by Mwistar
I have an Internet stalker. Almost every web page I open has a the same ad flashing in my right eye. First I see the word Love ... then Hate (then I see lightning)... What is the answer? A door flashes red then turns bright ... SCIENTOLOGY.ORG, please, LEAVE ME ALONE!
It started a few months ago .. I would see the ad every so often. Maybe one or twice a week. Now, it has turned to an hourly torment. I don't think this post will help. It's probably playing on the right side of this page, as you read.
help
-
Thirsty Thursdays: 268 reasons
Posted: August 6, 2009, 5:03 am by Mwistar
Eleven years ago in Nairobi, two hundred and fifty seven people lost their lives on Friday August 7th. In Dar es Salaam, eleven more were killed. I am pouring out my Thursday drink in their honor.
The incidents are better known as the 1998 US Embassy bombings. The perpetrators were a little group that is now known as Al Qaeda. Do you know Fazul Abdallah Mohammed? Check out his resume. He is said to be the first-bodie of the culprits who carried out the attacks. Dude is still on the loose. If apprehended, he will be charged with only 12 US citizen deaths, out of the 268 total for that day. Better than nothing, right? The African victims were also denied any compensation.
Kenya Police have ‘lost’ Fazul’s file twice, along with crucial evidence collected, including an autobiography he was typing on a laptop. The latest sale loss of these documents happened as recently as July of this year. According to Nairobi Star, the going price was no more than KSh 15 million.
Several theories have attempted to explain Al Qaeda’s motive. First, the bombings were revenge attacks for US involvement in the extradition and alleged torture of four Egyptian suspects apprehended in Albania in June of the same year.
According to Wiki, Osama Bin Laden claims that the bombings were revenge for the invasion of Somalia. He also says that the partition of Sudan and the genocide in Rwanda were all plots hatched in these East African Embassies. There is yet another theory. Lawrence Wright, a journalist, says that the bombings were a ploy to lure the US into Afghanistan.
Whatever the reason, we bore too dear a price .
-
Diary of a Baby’s Father Wannabe
Posted: August 4, 2009, 2:34 am by Mwistar
Everybody around me has children. I’m part of a minority that is steadily shrinking with every baby shower invitation. I’m buying congratulatory cards in bulk like it’s Christmas. If there was ever a time to get into the babysitting business …
I must say though … the thought of having my own scares me. Imagine little witnesses running around and replicating my every deviant behavior. Geez! I’m getting goose bumps already. I would be the first to picket against myself!
I’ve heard that you grow up when you have them; I’ve also heard that I am good baby-daddy material (tehehe! right). Yes, the prospect of future Father’s Day gifts and pending tuition fees is tantalizing. Even better is my secret dream to be a stay home dad. Lakini, I think I’m too selfish with my lifestyle to be effective. I very well could be the antithesis of fatherhood.
Children … other people’s children, I love. Partly because they have a minute chance of behaving like me. There’s just so much Mwistar the world can handle. But the more time I spend with my nephew, the more severe the daddy itch gets. I’m not sure how long I can hold out. Mom, is constantly reminding me of my evolutionary duties: to eat and to procreate.
-
Sheng Word Of The Week: bazenga
Posted: August 3, 2009, 1:54 pm by Mwistar
-
Thirsty Thursdays: claim your allegiance!
Posted: July 30, 2009, 5:47 am by Mwistar
I'm back to Manila Bay, my local drinking hole. This time I'm sharing the bar area with Stan the bartender, a Kenyan fellow, and his Ethiopian friend. I am in an animated discussion about the petition to remove the 'N' word from the dictionary. Stan is playing referee.
My latest argument is against the petition. I am not sure when I crossed the floor. Okay, I know someone who speaks the most fluent Swahili I have ever heard. I bet she has used every word in the kamusi at some point. If only my past Swa teachers spoke like her. Every word from her mouth sounds as beautiful as the next, even when she utters insults and other various maneno machafu. I tried to teach her Sheng, but she finds it too crude. To her, it almost feels as bad as throwing around the 'N' word.
So, if I am for removing the 'N' word from the dictionary, must I accept that Sheng befall the same fate? Why not the other perfectly legitimate Swahili words that she so eloquently uses to make me blush also? I don't think I can live with that.
They all look at me, shocked, as if I have stripped naked. Then Stan finally rules, "We are arguing like men ... now you want to tell us about some woman in your head. We can not accept that argument!"
-
Big Men, Black Gold Murky Details: Part 2
Posted: July 28, 2009, 4:06 am by Mwistar
Brian, (whom I am tremendously grateful to) had the following to say about the on goings:
There are conflicting reports on how much oil Uganda has. They range from 400 million to potentially 2 billion barrels. How much oil is there? How much is actually recoverable?
The most consistent quotation has been 700 million barrels of recoverable reserves as quoted by the Business Unit Manager of Tullow Uganda Ltd, Wood Mackenzie and PFC. Much larger amounts have been quoted in various publications up to 2 billion barrels which should be taken with a pinch of salt. Hydrocarbon estimation is riddled with tremendous amounts of uncertainty and people often confuse total amount of oil in the reservoir with what is recoverable. Until more appraisal wells are drilled to better understand the ‘Oil in Place’ and recovery factors, then we will still have a large number of figures being bandied about. Nevertheless, what is certain is that Uganda has oil reserves of sufficient quantity that are commercially viable.President Museveni has been quoted saying, “Africa is capable of protecting its resources from any exploitation by foreign countries.” What's your take?
Depends on his definition of 'protection' - if by protection he means maximizing the value of that natural resource to Africans, then I agree. The challenge is to ensure and enforce good systems of governance, fair trade agreements, and most importantly checks and balances to ensure distribution of the value from these resources to the citizens of the resource holding country and avoid corruption as much as reasonably possible; which is not so easy.If by protection he means that the natural resources should only be developed, manufactured and used locally , then in many respects that would be trade protectionist and would not utilize the full value chain of the resources. In reference to oil, the resource is useless unless it can be accessed by the global market. Either through arbitrage in the selling and trading of crude, or, through refining for retail users and as a basis for chemical feed stocks.
On the issues of the pacts with the oil companies, and revenue sharing: Reuben Kashambuzi the commissioner for petroleum exploration and production in 2008 was quoted by New Vision Uganda as saying,
"Unfortunately, we have been prevented from giving you that document because it has been classified as confidential.”
What is the best revenue sharing method between oil companies, and governments?
Traditionally, production sharing contracts and agreements have been the mechanism used in many countries to split value between the resource holder (most likely the Government through its National Oil Company) and the International Oil Company. In general terms, these agreements allow the Exploration and Production (EP) company to recover its investment and capital expenditures by taking a portion of each barrel or dollar equivalent cost with the rest of the barrel then subject to being shared between the resource holder and the producing company.Revenues generated by the producing company are then subject to various royalties and taxes which vary depending on the fiscal regime of the country in question. The optimal agreement is one which ensures equilibrium between the government take whilst ensuring sufficient post tax profits that provide an incentive for the EP company to continue producing in the long term. Governments can encourage more production by also offering tax relief on new capital expenditure and uplifts for producing from difficult reservoirs so as to incentivize the EP companies. Off course, all contracts should be renegotiable to adjust for market effects such as falling oil prices, and recessions in the global economy that affect demand such as we have experienced in the last year.
Nigeria, Sudan, Equatorial Guinea. The reality is, where there is oil in Sub Saharan Africa, there is probably civil unrest. In Uganda, the Bunyoro Kingdom have stated previously that they want up to a 50% share of the oil reserves. Can Uganda break the oil curse?
That is the million dollar question!
What is the root cause of the civil unrest in all these areas? Uganda definitely has some of the characteristics - corruption, military maneuvering, institutions making unrealistic demands, lack of public awareness,... but the main solutions or at least mitigation of these issues will have to be transparency, strong policy and regulation, and continuous inspection. all arguments are null and void if a country is politically/economically unstable.If you look at the oil producing companies of Africa, only two currently stand out as scoring a decent grade: Angola and Libya where all things considered, the countries have been stable in the past 5 years. Gabon too but with the demise of Omar Bongo, who knows what will transpire? The same can not be said of other African hydrocarbon rich countries. Ghana deserves special mention as it is on the cusp of becoming a major producer with the Jubilee Field going on-stream and more offshore potential. Currently seen as the leading light on African democracy, it will be interesting to see how oil revenues will be utilized.
The jury on Uganda, in my opinion is still out......
There are two opposing schools of thought on infrastructure. Should Uganda build a refinery or not?
Yes - to supply local demand. By local, I mean, Ugandan, Rwanda, Burundi, southern Sudan Kenya, Tanzania and eastern Congo.However, even with all those considered, there will still be a surplus supply of crude oil which Uganda will eventually export, starting with tankers and rail and eventually based on reserves and potential future exploration a dedicated export pipeline.
President Museveni has also stated that Uganda will not export any crude. The East African market is big enough to sustain demand. Is this feasible?
Definitely not feasible given the quotes of expected peak production with the current estimation of reserves.
Peak production: 150,000 barrels/day
Most optimistic model of refinery: approximately 80,000 blue barrels /day (6% GDP growth over 25 yrs and at 90% utilization of refinery which would be 1st quartile operations)I will continue to try and have a running commentary as the industry activities pick up.
-
Big Men, Black Gold, Murky Deals: Part 1
Posted: July 28, 2009, 4:01 am by Mwistar
I think it was in the early 1990’s when I first heard rumors about crude oil in East Africa. They did not amount to anything verifiable until 2006, when African newspapers published headlines reading, “Uganda Discovers Oil!”
It’s now three years later, and President Museveni’s government is readying itself to start exploiting this new resource. If you ask me, it’s not a moment too soon. 2011 elections are coming, and M7 (as I like to call him) will surely be looking to solidify his hold on power before then. The crude oil deposits have the potential to propel Uganda into the biggest East African economy, displacing Kenya, which was undisputed for many years. But oil is a double edged sword.
One only has to look at some Sub-Saharan oil producers to appreciate the misery that seems to shadow oil like a curse. Nigeria, Angola (not so much now), Sudan, Equatorial Guinea … yeah - the little country Simon Mann, the accomplished ex-British commando turned-mercenary, and his private army were en route to coup, before Uncle Bob in Zimbabwe threw a monkey wrench in the scheme. That is the nature of crude oil. It is a close relative of conflicts. In light of these violent ‘coincidences’, it was only natural that I seek some clarity into the situation in Uganda. A couple of Google searches later, and I was reading about more mercenaries.
Meet Anthony Leslie Rowland 'Tony' Buckingham, ex-mercenary, multi-billion pound corporate magnate, and alleged chummy-buddy of Simon Mann. He is the head of Heritage Oil & Gas, one of the companies that clinched the lucrative mining rights in Uganda.
Tony has mastered the art of befriending African ‘Big Men’. What gets me uneasy about Tony is that he, and Simon Mann, played a major role in founding Executive Outcomes, a soldier-for-hire outfit that was based in South Africa. It is widely believed to be the progenitor of private militaries. Executive Outcomes reportedly has a web of influence in Uganda, Botswana, Zambia, Ethiopia, Namibia, Lesotho and South Africa.
My research into the details of the production agreements between Uganda and Tullow, Heritage, and Cohydro, turned up nothing of substance. The deals are all secret. Fortunately, a personal friend, and oil business analyst took some time to give me some insight from an economic angle.
-
Sheng Word Of The Week: atmo
Posted: July 27, 2009, 5:05 am by Mwistar
-
Aluta Continua
Posted: July 26, 2009, 8:40 am by Mwistar
Don't talk to me of your Archimedes' lever. He was an absentminded person with a mathematical imagination. Mathematics commands all my respect, but I have no use for engines. Give me the right word and the right accent and I will move the world. - Joseph Conrad
(Feels good to read that, especially after nine hours of straight mathematics)
Stay tuned, on Tuesday, for an insight into Uganda, and, her newest resource: crude oil. -
Wanna Save The World? There's a discount
Posted: July 24, 2009, 5:31 pm by Mwistar
An opportunity for Canadian youth to attend the four day Global Youth Assembly conference in Edmonton Alberta, starting in one week.
Limited free airline transportation has been provided. Contact Savanna or Chelsea as soon as you can at: savanna@jhcentre.org or chelsea@jhcentre.org. This will be done on a first come, first serve basis! Once in touch, they will work with you to organize travel arrangements. Registration is $99 (which includes food).
Check out the conference details here.
Have fun, and save the world.
-
The Twitter Bug
Posted: July 24, 2009, 3:52 pm by Mwistar
I caught the Twitter-bug.
I find myself increasingly spending time reading twits, and hunting for followers. As of yesterday, I had about 69 followers. (I know, it's nothing to write home about, but I was proud!)
Then something happened; In an instance, 10 of my followers disappeared without a trace! Honestly, I'm not sure exactly who these followers were ... but I still felt sad. Then, just when I thought I had somehow contributed the flight of these followers, I saw another twitter message complaining of the same phenomenon. Somebody else had lost 150. A serial twitter follower assassin on the loose?
What is going on? How many followers did you loose?
-
Thirsty Thursday: Indecent Proposal
Posted: July 23, 2009, 7:00 am by Mwistar
Ever been to the sex clinic after a Thirsty Thursday party?
Months ago, I decided to go for a sexually transmitted infections test. Not because I’m a langa (which is strictly my opinion), but because it’s good to know what you have … or don’t have yet. Plus, I saw the advertisement on the side of a bus. It read like a party flyer: “City of Ottawa presents: Know Your Status. Bring a friend. Free condoms at the door.” I couldn’t resist.
Inside, I witnessed quite a sight. The place was packed! Young girls still in their clubbing outfits, awaiting their rations of morning-after pills. At least that's what Jen, the drowsy 18 year old who sat next to me and tore a page from my newspaper to spit her gum it, told me. The afflicted would twitch in their chairs every time the nurse hollered out a name, announcing when a batch of cures was ready. Apart from myself, there was one other man in the waiting area, probably in his fifties. I wasn’t sure whether he was embarrassed of being in a room full of scantily clad teenagers, or that he feared what we thought, when the nurse handed him three bags of pills. He shuffled out quickly with his eyes focused on the ground.
On my way home, I wondered about sex, and the role alcohol plays. Are there any sober one night stands?
-
We Go Big, Or We Go Home! (Part 2)
Posted: July 21, 2009, 3:55 am by Mwistar
I have known Biko for years. He is an engineer by profession, but he finds time to make people dance. He is one third of SoulChild Entertainment. Their maxim: ‘We go big, or we go home!’ After my parade was rained on at the concert in Toronto, I turned to him, seeking insight on who to blame … and more importantly, why I was so easily hustled off a pao! I gave Biko my scenario: A venue has been secured; a recognizable Kenyan artist has been thrown in for good measure; a Facebook ad tells me that there’s a party.
I don't think they hate the promoter, but how come people didn’t show up?
Interesting question! I think they didn’t show up because somebody did not make it enticing enough for them. I believe all events should have a “what’s in it for me?” factor for the targeted guests. Notice my use of the word guest. It should start from there. Everyone that you invite is your guest, visiting your “home” . . . and you have to give them a very good reason to come and visit you.
You should not assume that people will show up just because the artist is there. You have to market their music, get it out on the local radio station, and get some local DJ’s to play it. Then you have to make the fact the artist is coming into town an event in itself; convincing everyone that they are part of something special.
Marketing is very important. How you advertise will make or break your turn-out; followed closely by your reputation.Who do we blame when a show fails to turn a crowd?
The promoter/entertainment group is solely responsible for turning up the crowd. No excuses! That is their job description by definition!You have proven certain amplitude in managing these types of events. What makes a good events co-coordinator?
Thank you!
The first rule is to know your audience. I deal with the Afro-Caribbean crowd: primarily African; mainly and most importantly East African. Put yourself in their shoes and ask, “Why would I attend the event?” and incorporate the answer into the planning of it!
Be HUMBLE! It’s a small community, and even though I have a big event, I make sure that I talk to, and thank everyone that attends. Remember, they came to the venue (which you should treat like it’s your home, i.e. make it clean, safe, secure and accessible). Make use of the new-media (Facebook, Twitter, email, Text-messages) to advertise the event to your friends and urge them to bring their friends. Make them feel like it’s also their party and they have a vested interest to make it a success.
One important thing to remember especially with our community is, never make it about money! Never over-charge; and never argue with guests at the door about money.
It never hurts to have an over-abundance of respect. In this delicate business, you are dealing with people who have a lot of pride. It’s always better to treat them gently. Last but not least you must DELIVER!
The music must be ‘on point’ … and the DJs should have people dancing all night and leave them asking for more.SoulChild Entertainment is arguably the only show in town (in Ottawa), and it is quite successful at what it does. What's the trick?
SoulChild Entertainment consists of three members who multi-task in the various roles of promoter, manager and DJs. We are close friends: Yves Bertrand, Eric Mulwa and I (Steve Biko).
lol! This may sound weird, but, we do NOT do it for money. Once you accept that, it gets easier and simpler. We concentrate on QUALITY … and we make sure that the guests get their money’s worth. HARD WORK and preparation is key. In fact, it is paramount! The profits come eventually because our product speaks for itself.
Yves and Eric are both in university for Business and Engineering respectively; and I have an Electrical Engineering degree, shooting for a Masters in September. We do this (SoulChild) on our spare time: strictly because we felt that there was a need for an avenue in which we could channel in some good African music, for Africans who are here in Ottawa, Ontario and provide a venue for them to converge on.
We provide an essential service … we think.
We play African music, but we mix it in with hip-hop, dancehall, R&B, reggae and ol’ skool. We make sure that when we play all the regions of Africa are represented in the music. We find out the popular song requests through intelligent scouting; the rest is up to the crowd.
Yves is a shrewd manager with good instincts and Eric (Skillz) is a talented DJ who has the same music IQ as I do. We think alike as DJs and we work very well together.
So what’s the trick? I‘d say we work hard so that our guests have fun. We never take any event for granted and make sure that everyone has a positive experience. We make our events classy and we will always have something planned that will please the ladies. I could go on but I don’t want to reveal any more secrets. Lol!Back to the example: After taking people's money and not delivering, how does one recover their reputation from the ashes of a failed entertainment event?
That’s a tough one to answer.
An angry mob cannot be calmed easily. First and foremost APOLOGISE! Admit the error in judgment and ask for tolerance. Make amends (that is: refunds, free entrance et cetera). A complete re-birth is needed. They have to acknowledge the fact that they will not make any money for the next few events. Re-think the strategy and apply some of what I have said above.
Last but not least make sure to deliver the goods the next time.The recent Nameless concert in Ottawa was a huge success. I think it definitively put Ontario on the map for East African performing artists. What else is in the works at SoulChild Ent.?
Contact SoulChild Entertainment in Ottawa at +(613) 796-6778
We worked hard on the event and it paid off. But the biggest bonus was the performance of the artist. Nameless was amazing. He worked the crowd and sent the place on fire! There is no way to describe how good he was!
SoulChild Ent. will hold our Sexy Diva II party (in appreciation to the ladies who grace us with their presence at our events); we have our annual CARIBANA party in Toronto, and our annual Safari Boat Cruise, all before September. We are hoping to bring in T.I.D, WAHU, REDSAN or Ali Kiba next. We will ask our patrons and use their feedback to deliver what they want.
Other than that, we remain humbled by our success in Ottawa, remain indebted to our fans coz they make us … and we thank God for the people around us (close friends and/or family) who keep us grounded! -
We Go Big, or We Go Home! (Part 1)
Posted: July 21, 2009, 3:52 am by Mwistar
I have attended more concerts this summer than any other during my thirteen year stint in Canada. Like Mwaka said, live shows are a showcase of true talent. Most of the shows I attended were organized excellently. Everything was in place; the people, the performer, and the music. I took for granted the talent it takes to bring these elements together for a successful event … until very recently.
It was announced on Facebook that a certain African mega-star was coming to town. I was so excited, I even bought a new outfit. I assumed that being Toronto, a metropolis of 5.3 million souls, the turnout would be massive. Boy was I wrong!
According to the flyer, the show started at 8:00 pm. I arrived fashionably late at kedo 9:30 pm to an empty hall. I sat by myself for a couple of hours, watching my Tusker bottle sweat the hall humidity thinking, ‘Guys will show up’. They never did. By 2:00am, we were like twenty deep. The artiste was still not on stage, and the crowd was quickly turning to an angry mob. I asked the DJ what was happening, and he replied, “It’s these Kenyans! They never support!”
I shuffled away quickly before the conversation went any further. The crowd had started assuming that I was part of the management (since I was there before everybody else, and I seemed to be buddy-buddy with the guys behind the scenes).
The next day, my Facebook inbox had a fair share of angry Torontonians demanding answers. I decided to get some.
-
Sheng Word Of The Week: wegejeng
Posted: July 20, 2009, 7:33 am by Mwistar
Wegejeng
-verb, nounin the African accent: weh-geh-jeng’
origin: Unknown
first used: Unknown
meanings in English:
- To be very drunk Verb
- Very strong drink - usually illicit nounUsage examples:
(verb)
Maze! Trish yuko wegejeng
Man! Trish is so drunk
(noun)
Musau ame enda kukamish wegejeng
Musau has gone to buy chang'aaCourtesy of
-
I can have my cake while you eat it
Posted: July 18, 2009, 4:07 pm by Mwistar
I've been kicking it with Jane on a regular. For years. We are just buddies, that's how I would describe us. Platonic friends. But it seems to be a hard sell. The other day, she confessed to me that a previous ex-mshikaji almost choked her at a party, on jealous and suspicious grounds. It's not the first incident either.
Most of my relationships with women, single and committed, are usually fiery. My reputation of being scandalous precedes me. In all honesty, maybe I've given them plenty of fodder for rumour. But it is mostly inaccurate inferences. With Jane's men, who tend to be three times larger than me, it's an occupational hazard. Them dudes are built for the struggle. I am most certain that if I was back in Karen 'C' Primary School, I would be on the 'wan-ted' list on clozii.
So, Jane has a new man. I haven't met him yet. I'll hang low until they stoke their jikos and get comfy. Maybe I'm living a fantasy here, but what happened to platonic relationships? -
Singing Praise: It is Mwaka's Calling
Posted: July 16, 2009, 3:52 am by Mwistar
I couldn't end my music interviews without one from a Gospel musician. Would you believe, I was once married to a gospel singer... that's how much I'm down.What makes a Kenyan music artist successful? My curiosity started with an argument with Kamumba, a pal of mine in Toronto. I have been hounding him for months trying to squeeze one more single out of him. Once upon a time when dude had psyke he managed to give us a couple of hit songs, but those have since been relegated to the 'one hit wonder' playlist on my Ipod. So, before I continue the harassment of this poor Bantu soul, I need to complete my lessons about Kenyan music. Thus far, my conversations have revolved around (dare I say) the typical musicians. Their music represents what usually stows away to Ulami before it spreads amongst us in pirated CD's like the bug Beth Mugo called, swine free. But there's more..
She is happily married, and she is making beautiful music. Mwaka Utanje has recently been nominated for ‘Best Female Gospel Artist’ at the Nzumari Music Awards in Mombasa.
It’s not the first time she’s getting recognized; she’s been on the list at the 2003 Kora Awards before, plus she’s shared a stage with the likes of Lucky Dube, and Joe [the R&B musician]. I wanted some insight as to whether Kenyan gospel musicians struggle as much as the rest do.
What has been your biggest inspiration to sing?
Ever since I was a child, I had always wanted to be a singer. In those days I would hear Luther Vandross and say, One day I will sing like that. I practiced daily trying to sing like him but then in December of 1989 at age 14, I gave my life to Jesus. The January that followed, I moved to Kambui Girls School and here I and my friends formed a group. I have never looked back since. I can therefore say that my biggest inspiration to sing is my faith in Christ, love, life and what is going on around me.Your songs are in English, French, Swahili, and even Luo. Is it purely to get at a bigger audience, or do you find certain messages easier to convey in particular languages?
Well, I prefer to sing in different languages because I understand the languages and find it easier to convey certain messages this way as they sound sweeter to both myself and the listener. And yes, I like to reach to a larger audience. By the way, I also sing Kikuyu.Have you ever used Sheng in your lyrics?
No. I have however collaborated with artistes who use Sheng but when it comes to my part I just use ordinary English or Swahili. I just don’t know why. Maybe its because of my age... haha!Should artists have the freedom to use derogatory words in music, like the ‘N-word’, or does social responsibility trump this?
Artistes need to be very careful because people look up to them. Music is used to convey a message and I think its only good if the message is positive. I do not think that artistes should use derogatory words in music. People should speak against this. Music is more like teaching.Do you go through the same challenges as secular music artists do, for your music to be appreciated?
Oh yes, We go through a lot of challenges in the gospel industry. You have to hustle to get your music and video played on air. There is also the issue of piracy. Some stations do not think that they should play gospel. So we are sometimes limited to gospel stations. It's not easy to get sponsorships or signed up by a label when you are doing gospel because some think that the music is one sided and has a limited audience. I remember once going to request for assistance to complete my second album, and was told they can only assist if I change my music/lyrics and call myself an R&B artiste coz this is what I sound like! Well, I declined but, suggested they help a fellow artiste and friend who sings about social responsibility and who I have worked with.You are a gospel music artist. Does this title feel restrictive? Do all your songs revolve around a religious theme?
Yes I’m a gospel artiste and I do not feel like its restrictive because this is what I wanted to do. My music talks about Jesus but it also talks about love, life and what is going on around me. I talk of what love means, careful speech, good governance, war in Africa etc. I believe that as a follower of Christ, I have a responsibility to speak out about issues without neglecting what I have been called to do which is minister.Why do you prefer singing with a live band, compared to studio manicured performances?
When I was a new artiste, I used studio manicured performance but when I saw so many artistes doing the mime or sing on a track that is complete and not blank, I decided that I want to do something different. I’m part of a choir too and I just love to sing backed by a live band. It sounds more interactive because we are all displaying our skills. I do however sometimes use tracks, especially if I’m only singing one or two songs at a function.Have you considered any shows in North America?
No, I have not considered any shows in North America but would be glad to do them if invited.She deserves to win the Award ... she's got skillz! Listen to the music on her MySpace page.
For those on Safaricom and Zain lines, vote for her by simply typing 15A and send to 8582, by August 7th 2009. -
Thirsty Thursdays: certificate of authenticity
Posted: July 15, 2009, 11:18 pm by Mwistar
I had planned it all out: I invited pals for tea, and, to watch Dambisa Moyo break Canadian hearts by telling them not to give Africans aid. I thought it would be a nice change from pinting, plus lately I’ve been under the hammer with all kinds of deadlines. I didn't want to go out. I even opened the ka-packet of loose Ketepa tea leaves I had been saving for a special occasion.
I guess they thought it was a hoax; coz when they finally showed up, all but one, brought alcohol. This post is dedicated those of you (you know yourselves) who inspired the following list.
You know you are an pint-ist when:
- A romantic walk in the park is usually a BYOB event
- When your friend says, “I’ll bring you a booze,” and it’s usually involves about 12 litres of beer
- How much laundry you do this week is determined by how many empty bottles you can recycle
- You wear your Tusker t-shirt, or jacket when you are picking up your pal who just flew in from Kenya
- You have at least three Nordic Ice bottles incorporated into your apartment decor
-
Cutting Corners
Posted: July 15, 2009, 5:05 am by Mwistar
The call startled me enough to assault my pinkie toe on the stool. Standard deviation calculations can do that to you. I think all statistical analysis should have a warning label: Do Not Operate Machinery While Crunching Stats! I look at the caller ID: unknown number. Yeah, call screening is somewhat of a survival tactic since Bob the creditor caught me unawares, and accused me of $13.73 plus interest in arrears from a cell phone bill. If you heard him on the phone, you would think I was holding all third world aid hostage. Turned out to be my tea drinking buddy.
“I thought your ka-thingy-hiyo is a personal blog? Write something, you kubaff!”
The gist of the conversation.
I admit I’ve cut a few corners lately. I haven’t put in the time to actually write something. After promoting my page like it was a cheap prostitute (as Ms K said it) I owe my audience muchene.
I did try and keep up with other blogs, … mostly.
Tamaku’s blog was nominated for the 2009 Black Weblog Awards. Congratulations.
I think I saw another nomination, but I can’t remember where. I’ll keep you posted.
I talked to Nameless, Nazizi, and recently Daddy V. I’ll do a couple more before you understand the whole dose … it wasn't random; it actually started as an argument that went like this: … Of the population of my Kenyan pals and acquaintances, music artists, event promoters, DJ’s and all manner of die hard music fans, fall within three standard deviations of the mean. (You can tell, I should be doing work right now). Anyways, to cut a long story short, I have a story to tell. But first, I need to earn my keep, I can’t cut corners with this thafu.
-
Crazy World
Posted: July 14, 2009, 3:28 pm by Mwistar
-
Assimilation
Posted: July 13, 2009, 11:31 pm by Mwistar
This is a young girl dancing to Décalé Gwada, by Jessy Matador, an artist from Congo (DR).
I guess cultural influences go both ways.
Wanna watch the actual music video? (courtesy of YouTube)
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Sheng Word Of The Week
Posted: July 13, 2009, 4:53 pm by Mwistar
-noun in the African accent: in-vesti-ge-tah origin: Buru Buru Phase 1, Nairobi first used: late 2000's meaning in English: a client at an eatery, or, an invited guest at a party
Usage example: Njugush alinunua double homicide pale Kenchic. Kabla a-solve case yake, ma-investigator waka-surface from nowhere!
Njuguna ordered two quarter pieces of chicken from Kenchic. Before he could eat his food, his guests arrived from nowhere! Courtesy of var addthis_pub="mwistar"; -
Say Uncle
Posted: July 12, 2009, 5:37 pm by Mwistar
The blog ::Kenya Christian, brought to my attention a very interesting petition. Deleting the 'N' word from the dictionary. I think it is a reasonable request, don't you?
-
Disclosure Policy
Posted: July 10, 2009, 1:41 am by Mwistar
This policy is valid from 13 July 2009
This blog is a personal blog written and edited by me, Mwiwa Muli. For questions about this blog, please contact me at mwiwa@hotmail.com
I write for my own purposes. However, I may be influenced by my background, occupation, religion, political affiliation or experience.
Any compensation received though advertising will never influence the content, topics or posts made in this blog. All paid advertising is in the form of advertisements generated by third party ad networks.
I am not compensated to provide opinion on products, services, websites and various other topics. The views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely my own.
If I claim or appear to be an expert on a certain topic or product or service area, I will only endorse products or services that I believe, based on my expertise, are worthy of such endorsement.
Any product claim, statistic, quote or other representation about a product or service should be verified with the manufacturer or provider.
This blog does not contain any content which might present a conflict of interest.
Collection of Information:For each visitor to the blog page, I do not automatically recognizes any personal information.
With respect to Ad Servers:
To try and bring you offers that are of interest to you, I have relationships with other companies which I allow place ads on my blog. These companies use cookies. A cookie is a cookie is a small piece of information stored on a your computer by your browser.
As a result of your visit to my blog, these ad server companies may collect information such as: the type of browser you use, your IP address and clickstream information. A clickstream is information on what you click on while browsing this blog.
Google Adsense uses cookies to improve your online experience, including the display of more relevant ads. To opt out of their cookies, and for further information, consult their privacy policy at www.google.com/privacy_ads.html.
-
Never giving up
Posted: July 10, 2009, 10:13 pm by Mwistar
Somebody once told me, “One of the greatest comforts in life, is seeing other people worse off that you.” I beg to differ. I think a bigger comfort is seeing your hard work pay off. Daddy V is a prime example of that.
He made a name for himself as an underground music artist in Nairobi’s ‘jam session’ scene. But talent alone didn’t enable him overcome the barriers in his path to success. Now, living in the USA, Daddy V is finally seeing his hard work begin to pay off.
I can’t lie, dude can throw down a party. I felt so nostalgic after watching him perform. Memories of F2’s (Florida 2000 Night Club, Nairobi) jam-seh performances came flooding back! He made me miss home. (Check out the clip at the end of this article)
I had the opportunity to briefly speak to him about his work. This is what he had to say:
How has moving to the US helped your music career?
I have been able to access world class studios and producers; something I not able to afford in Kenya.According to Kilimanjaro Records, you were unable to record your music even after getting recognition in the underground scene. What, in your view, should change in the industry, so that talent is not so easily overlooked?
Artists, DJ’s, promoters and others who have made it should should try and take talented budding artists under their wings. Opportunities need to be recycled.You list, among others, Alpha Blondy, as an influence. Why is reggae so prominent in your music?
While growing up in Nairobi as a kid who did not have much, reggae was appealing to me in that I was able to identify with the message in the music. Reggae is spiritual nourishment that comes in handy when one feels oppressed and dejected. It is the only music that is spiritual without being necessarily religious.You are a very recognizable figure with the youth in Nairobi. Have you considered a role in grassroots politics?
Politics is too dirty for me. I love truth and reality.The song ‘Kauzi’ touches on guns, and thuggery, in East Africa. Was it inspired by a personal experience, or a conscious effort to address a social issue?
Both. I know friends who are either in jail or have been shot dead by police because poverty pushed them to commit crimes. Through music, I hope I can use my life experiences to spread social consciousness.As an artist, you've come from humble beginnings, to finally recording your music. What's next for Daddy V?
I feel that I still have a lot of work to promote my debut album, NARE.
In two weeks, I will be releasing my second video ‘Dear Daddy’ which is dedicated to my late dad, and to all who have lost loved ones.
I will be touring and releasing more videos for the rest of 2009 and then, I’ll go back to the studio in the middle of 2010 to start recording my second album due out in 2011.Check out more of his music on his MySpace page, or on his Facebook fan page.
-
... For I have sinned
Posted: July 9, 2009, 1:01 am by Mwistar
Ask a Roman Catholic, and they will tell you that, the Holiest part of Mass is when the priest consecrates the bread and wine, to become the body and blood of Christ, the Communion.
After it is offered to the congregation, whatever remains [including those that fell on the ground, any other extras, the crumbs, plus the wine] is all ingested by the priest. It's a matter of respect.
The Canadian Prime Minister, Stephen Harper, is yet to explain sufficiently what happened to the Communion he was offered during a funeral mass recently.
The Communion in the Roman Catholic Church is only offered to Roman Catholics, of which he is not.
He says, he ate it. I didn’t see that. Rumor has it that, he pocketed it. Who knows. Watch the video below, [… between the 28, and the 40 second mark]. He is the gentleman holding a white piece of paper in his hand.
See if you can tell what happens …
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Thirsty Thursdays: interference play
Posted: July 9, 2009, 4:34 am by Mwistar
in the car
I am suffering from a case of ... well ... from the case of beer and liquor. Last night was something else. The humidity makes me feel like I’m in somebody’s mouth. Plus that ka-soup I was practically force fed is not sitting well in the tummy.
at the shamba:
Great. Why is the manure so far from the shamba? Why does the wheelbarrow have a puncture? Why me?
A deer has been eating the veggies!
I’m swinging the jembe (hoe... no pun intended) into the ground, like it owes me money. The ground is fighting back. Shit. Seems the soup was for a very good reason. Mom and auntie are standing a few feet behind me, casually exchanging pleasantries.
I pause for a second to rest my back, and give them a quick glance. They are drinking water. It looks so so good!
“Eka kwima ta utena vinya. Undu wa manyiiye raha na starehe ta ng’ombe ya D.C.?”
(Don’t dig so lazily. Have you gotten used to luxury, like a cow from D.C.?)No sympathy. That line must be revenge for me skipping Mass. I’m back to swinging the jembe. Soil and sweat in my eyes. On the bright side, I’m already thinking of ways to use that diss.
“Kana ni uki wa wiyoo?”
(or is it last night’s alcohol?)That’s overkill mom. Just had to bring it up. I’m already nauseous again. It’s going to be a long ass day.
water break:
Blessed relief.
meanwhile:
Mr. 1, and Mr. 2, Jamaicans are tilling the shamba next to us. Mr. 1 Jamaican, probably mom’s age, with full locks and full beard sees an opportunity to talk to the ladies... since I’m obviously the house help, and no threat to his game. I’m eager to hear his vibe ... this doesn’t exactly happen every day.
Disappointment. He’s getting nowhere with the small talk. I don’t think akina mom understand him through his accent. Mr. 2 Jamaican, sees an opportunity to bring some fresh effort. Interference play.
‘Inspiration from de ground,’ is what he called it.
He lit the joint! Is he actually going to pass the skudu to the left?
the aftermath
“Tumundu tu ni vatheyi! Ona mayie na nthoni! Mano-okiye masembete ta isululu sya ung’ea!
(Those men were useless! They had no shame! They approached us so hastily, you’d think they were stolen bicycles!)She pauses for a moment, in deep thought. Then shakes her head as if in sorrow, and snears, “There’s nothing there.”
LOL! I love hanging out with the folks!
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Nai-robbery Uncut
Posted: July 8, 2009, 2:13 am by Mwistar
courtesy of NTV
Part 2
Part 3
-
Hakuna stima bana!
Posted: July 7, 2009, 12:07 am by Mwistar
Have you ever tried tried eating in the dark?
Sneaking snacks from the kitchen in the middle of the night does not count. No, eating when Kenya Power and Lighting Company decides to ration out the electricity doesn’t count either. O. Noir is a restaurant in Toronto that allows you to dine in the dark! Apparently there are ‘Dine In The Dark’ restaurants in Montreal, L.A., a few in Europe and Australia.The idea came from a blind Zurich pastor: to share the blind’s world, with the rest of us.
No flashlights, cell phones, lighters, matches, or luminous watches are allowed. All the waiters are legally blind, and the menu is in Braille [and English for you non-Braille readers].
You walk in to a dimly light lounge where your order is taken, and drinks are served. Then you get rid of your light emitting devices before stepping into the dining area. TOTAL DARKNESS.
Your blind waiter sits you. The blind piano player continues to doing his thing. You wait for your food.
A few friends tried it, (I missed out coz of prior family engagements). I hear it’s an ‘out-of-this-world’ experience. Apparently, conversations don’t come easy in the dark.
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Africanability
Posted: July 7, 2009, 3:56 am by Mwistar
Afrigadget, a website dedicated to showcasing African creativity, will be hosting Maker Faire Africa, a first of it’s kind.
‘a celebration of African ingenuity, innovation and invention.’The website has teamed up with Maker Faire to bring together artists, inventors and all manner of ingenious people, to a three day event in Accra, Ghana.
Look out for it between August 14th to 16th, at the Ghana-India Kofi Annan Centre of Excellence in ICT, Accra. To follow it online, check out www.makerfaireafrica.com.
If you are familiar with www.afrigadget.com, then you should expect the MFA to be quite interesting.
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Sheng Word Of The Week
Posted: July 6, 2009, 5:11 am by Mwistar
-
When sex is just no fun!
Posted: July 3, 2009, 6:30 pm by Mwistar
This is dedicated to our young women, whose suffering can not continue in silence.
THE FACTS:
- The leading cause of death of girls and young women between 15 and 19 years old is pregnancy and childbirth. [British Medical Journals, 2004]
”70 000 adolescent mothers die each year because they have children before they are physically ready for parenthood”
- There are 60 million child brides world-wide, increasing to 100 million within ten years. [ICRW]
- Some 500,000 young people, mostly young women, are infected with a Sexually Transmitted Infection EVERY DAY! [excluding HIV]. Only 17 per cent of sexually active young people use contraceptives [UNFPA]
“Even if they want to use condoms, they may not have ready access to them, or may be unable to negotiate their use.”
www.15andcounting.org is a campaign to achieve better access to sexual and reproductive health services and education regardless of age, gender or where people live. Sign their petition at:
The petition will be presented to the United Nations to demand governments act now.
var addthis_pub="mwistar"; -
There's just no use ...
Posted: July 2, 2009, 6:26 am by Mwistar
A while back, I had posted a rant, and included this video. Then I changed my mind after and deleted it. The picture still shows up on the related links, and a lot of you still click on it. Maybe because the pic is sort of suggestive. I could be wrong though...
Nevertheless, I'll give the people what they want. Back by popular clicks, I present to you a reggae slow jam.
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Thirsty Thursdays: gloom and doomsayers
Posted: July 2, 2009, 4:00 am by Mwistar
The world is ending in 2012! Okay, maybe not, but I know somebody who honestly believes so. There have been plenty of predictions on the ‘end of times’ but thankfully, all have passed without a hitch. Well .. kind of.
Think back to 1997, and the suicidal cult/ vodka drinkers, ‘Heaven’s Gate’, led by a Mr. Applewhite [who by the way, was voluntarily castrated in Mexico]. The entourage, 39 deep, was on a quest to catch a flight on a space ship [enderingly called, The Mother Ship]. It was supposed scoop these enlightened ones, and whisk them away to “.. Next Level existence,” as so preached.
Obviously the congregation required more convincing. A drink was proposed. After donning black sweat pants, matching Nike shoes, and arm bands that read, ‘Heaven’s Gate Away Team’, Luminal [an anti-epileptic drug] mixed with vodka was served! What a waste of alcohol.
A more recent doom prediction was last week Thursday. Ontario’s LCBO workers had threatened to go on strike.
In Ontario, we have a Liquor Control Board. They are a crown corporation [or as Kenyans call it, a parastatal] that is the only source of liquor. In a province that consumes 5.7 litres of spirits, and 9.8 litres of wine per person, per year, [Stats Can 2002], a strike amounts to the end of the world as we Ontarians know it! By Wednesday night, there was a frenzied rush on the LCBO stores.
Thank goodness, the doomsday scenario did not come to pass.
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Happy Canada Day
Posted: July 1, 2009, 5:08 am by Mwistar
-
Sheng Word Of The Week
Posted: June 29, 2009, 3:25 am by Mwistar
clande
-noun
in the African accent: klan-de
origin: Unknown
first used: Eary 90's
meaning in English: Sexual consort. Man or woman involved in a sexual affair.synonyms: take away, chips funga, plan B, kuku funga
Usage example:
Clande wa Geof ame hepa!
Geoffrey's consort has left him!
Courtesy of
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
African Pride
Posted: June 28, 2009, 6:26 pm by Mwistar
Today, Sunday June 28th, marked the 29th Annual Pride Parade in Toronto. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender, communities from all over North America, and the world converge on the city once a year, to celebrate, and recognize their hard earned achievements in the struggle to gain equal rights. In 2005, Canada became the fourth country in the world to recognize same sex marriages.
This year's Grand Marshal, of the Pride Parade was El-Farouk Khaki, a Tanzanian born Muslim lawyer, who has been at the forefront in fighting for refugees and the protection of human rights. He is also an activist on issues including gender equality, sexual orientation, and progressive Islam.
Mr. Khaki is especially unique, because he is a symbol of hope, especially to the African gay and lesbian communities, who often live in fear of persecution. According to The Economist, mob lynching is notoriously effective in keeping homosexuality in the closet, especially in Kenya.
-
For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity - William Penn
Posted: June 26, 2009, 6:11 am by Mwistar
-
Nameless: A brand to reckon with
Posted: June 26, 2009, 3:43 am by Mwistar
Ask the the ladies, and they say, “He is on fire!” When he makes a comment on Facebook, it is usually followed by numerous, almost-instantaneous, responses. When he has a show, he pulls crowds that rival the rallies by smooth-talking politicians.
As he begins his Salari Tour in North America, The African Accent had an opportunity to talk to David Mathenge, to gain some insight into this Kenyan phenomenon, better known as Nameless.
The name, Nameless, suggests obscurity. However, the reality is that you have made quite a name for yourself, and you are very much in the limelight. How did you decide on the name, and is it still relevant?
It initially came up because I was in the industry for a while without recognition: I did many shows without local appreciation for the music, and without pay. I kept looking for the right name and image … however nothing seemed to work. When my break came, I was asked what my name was ... I just found myself utter "Nameless" and that was that!!! And yes, the name is still relevant today because it reminds me where I have come from!!!It was in 1999, your second year of university, when you broke into the music scene. In a previous interview, you said that back then, it was more economical to produce and release singles, as opposed to whole albums because of weak domestic sales, and little to no radio exposure for artists. Has the domestic situation improved? If yes, what has been the most significant improvement? If no, what would you like to see improve, or what are you doing to better the situation?
No, the domestic situation hasn’t improved. In fact even the international situation is becoming similar; whereby CD sales are being negatively affected by downloads and piracy. Now, even international record labels are contemplating releasing singles and fully exploiting singles through ring tones, downloads, concerts, et cetera; they say it is more economical and less risky. I met some record executives in Europe who told me this. I secretly smiled because in my own small way i was using this principle ten years earlier! hahaha!Nameless is synonymous with mega hits. 'Ninanoki' was on Kiss FM's number one spot for 110 consecutive days. Your music is also known for its wide appeal: 'Megarider' is a perfect example of a song you could find a ten year old enjoying just as much as an 80 year old. Is that part of your strategy, or is it coincidental magic that Nameless has?
It is every artists hope and dream to get a wide appeal through their music. It is also very challenging to get a crossover appeal with one song; and if you do you are lucky!! Some of my songs have managed to cross over, however, others have been more targeted to different classes and age groups. So I guess its part strategy, part luck, part magic and part blessing!Do you feel restricted as an artist by censorship, fan attitudes, fan expectations, or even by your role as a husband, and father?
Definitely! The number of songs I have had to hold back due to fan expectations, censorship or my role as a husband and dad are many ... these are some of the challenges of growing as an artist or brand. You get more restricted, and, you are under more scrutiny.Your 2009 tour has taken you across Europe and now North America. Is there a venue that you were looking forward to most?
Well, I look forward to anywhere that I will meet my fans and entertain. I have been to Europe and Canada before but not as intense as this. In Canada I have four shows across the country. In Europe I had 6 show in different countries. This is very exciting for an artist; to travel and meet different people and experience different cultures through music.The East African Standard newspaper included you in the list of 100 most influential Kenyans in 2007. How much does this influence hinder or advance your ability to lead a normal life? For example, are you able to walk around down town Nairobi without drawing fans, or does the novelty wear off?
It was an honor to be on that debatable list. However, to be considered was definitely a moral booster in what I do for a living. It means that I do influence peoples lives (hopefully positively). Once you are in the public eye you have to accept to belong to the public. So yes, you get approached by strangers on the street, and get a lot of stares and whispers following you. After some time you get used to it. Kenyans are also very conservative, so you don’t get people jumping all over you in the streets like in the West. You can live a more or less normal life with a few stares here and there. hahaha!Rumor has it that Wahu's new album, due in January, will include your first duet with her. How come we have not seen more collaborations?
Yes. I have collaborations with my wife, which are to be released soon. The reason we haven’t released them before was because we wanted to grow as different, and separate brands that are strong individually, before we do our collaborations. We live in the same house, so we had to consciously separate our brands in music, so that the collaboz can be stronger.Zari Media Ltd. What is its core business, and how successful is this venture?
You definitely have done your research! Zari is a separate company that I have with two partners. It is an audio-visual studio, media house. Our core business is commercials and jingles as well as song recordings. We may get into signing artists soon but we are still young and growing.Media people, look out for Zari!
The fans had a few questions for you. The most interesting being: Do you have a stalker?
hahaha! Yes of course. I have some fans who have taken it too far and become obsessed. It is normal for some people to be clouded by the hype and imagine you are in a deep relationship with them or want more than you can offer.Is there anything coming up for the 10th anniversary of E-Sir's passing?
Yes. We will definitely do something big in memory of E-sir, his legacy and the other artists we have lost in our industry. They are our brothers and sisters who made major contributions in our growing industry and we must thank them for that!Where can fans legitimately acquire your music?
Blast My Music found on MySpace Nameless Kenya, or on the Facebook Nameless Fans or my personal page, David K Mathenge.Thanks again for a very intriguing interview that was well researched, intellectual and different.
There you have it: an insight into Nameless the brand, by David K. Mathenge: performing artist, entrepreneur, husband, father, and role model.
Upcoming Salari Tour Shows:
Friday, July 3rd, 2009 – Ottawa, Ontario.
For tickets, contact DJ Biko of SoulChild Entertainment at (613) 796-6778Saturday, July 4th 2009 – Toronto, Ontario.
For tickets, contact Rigzklan Entertainment at (416) 975-0535, or Zink Productions at (647) 299-9646Friday, July 10th 2009 – Vancouver, British Columbia. For more information, contact Ground Up Entertainment at (604) 746-6429, or james.kibugi@gupentertainment.com
Saturday, July 11th – Calgary, Alberta. For more information, contact DJ AZ of Afro-Beat Entertainment at (403) 667-5864
-
Thirsty Thursdays: who’s driving?
Posted: June 25, 2009, 4:57 am by Mwistar
There is an urban legend about a Kenyan and his keg that goes like this: somewhere in the East Coast of the USA some time within the last 10 years, a traffic police pulled over a car for an unknown driving offence. The driver, a young man of African descent, and his passenger- a beer keg strapped in with a seat belt next to him, were found in a compromising position. The Keg had been breached, and this guy had the tap in his mouth.
Frankly, I don’t condone drinking and driving. What I am for is being in the driver’s seat when drinking. I’ll explain:
Take Duncan Hamilton, for instance. English subject and race car driver extraordinaire; he drove a Jaguar in the 24 Hour Le Mans race, in 1953. He was at a bar for hours before, until it was time to race. The race crew tried to sober him up with coffee, but he declined. He went at it drunk, only stopping to top up on brandy when the buzz was on a lull. Yes, they served booze to him during pit stops. Did he crash? Well, he hit a bird, and broke his nose. Did he win? Yes. That’s drinking and driving alright. But it was also being in the driver's seat.
Being in the driver’s seat when drinking, means knowing when to stop, before you have had too much.
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Does Sex Sell?
Posted: June 23, 2009, 2:58 pm by Mwistar
Somebody asked me to write about sex. Apparently sex sells. Even the top three words searched on the Sheng Kamusi seem to suggest so. But when I did a little research, I realized that only scandalous sex sells.
For example, IPS News had an article titled 'Family Planning Not Only For Women' published on June 18th. When I posted it on Facebook, like I usually do with most articles I find interesting, there was not even one comment on it. That's not strange. Not all my Facebook posts get comments. I don't think anybody read it though. Maybe I should have quoted an excerpt:
"Family planning is only for women. And it makes them promiscuous. I would never advise my wife to use those things [contraceptives] because the role of a woman is to give birth to children," Zaddock Odhiambo, a 28-year-old father of six remarked.
Then there was the IRIN Africa article titled 'South Africa: One in four men rape'.
"Asked about their age at the first time they had forced a woman or girl into sex, 9.8 percent said they were under 10 years old, 16.4 percent were 10-14 years old, 46.5 percent were 15-19 years old, 18.6 percent were 20-24 years old, 6.9 percent were 25-29 years old, and 1.9 percent were 30 or older."
Again, not a word from anybody.
But, the sex scandal allegedly involving an operations director, [Name omitted after a reader request], in a corporation in Uganda continues to generate interest since the adult blog, titled 'Inside Karen Lucas; Plus other things sexual ... ' [WARNING! SEXUALLY EXPLICIT PICTURES] released steamy pictures of him, and young lady sharing intimate moments. I don't know if it is indeed Mr. Ops Director, since I've never seen the guy.
Rumor has it that he left the pictures on his work computer. An IT guy found them, and tried to blackmail him. When that didn't work, Mr. IT Man released the pics to the rest of the world. Apparently Mr. Ops Director has since lost his job. I tried to verify that with their customer service, but I got no response.
-
Sheng Word Of The Week
Posted: June 21, 2009, 1:08 am by Mwistar
-
Ni Dawa!
Posted: June 21, 2009, 5:27 pm by Mwistar
I'm one who generally tough out my ailments. Whether it's a headache, or something more serious, I don't usually take medicine; that is unless I am on the brink of precipice. I am not encouraging you all to follow my somewhat misguided footsteps, but, I question prescription medicines that are increasingly flaunted like 'holy spirit' cures that will cleanse disease and sin from the masses.
I'm sure you've all heard the ads ... "Cure for an upset stomach! Side effects include bleeding nose, difficulty breathing, joint pain, stunted growth, liver and kidney failure. Some other serious side effects may occur. Ask your doctor if this path to an early demise is for you!
In boarding high school, we'd go to the nurse exhibiting symptoms of the plague, a broken rib, and a mysterious itchy growth on the knee, and all we'd get is a couple of Panadol pain killers, and a half-tablet of Piriton [which is an allergy tablet] to help you sleep it off. These two drugs were the panacea of all diseases, infections, and mutations. Naturally, I learned to survive.
The only medicine I'll be taking voluntarily are those alcoholic mixtures aptly named 'Dawa' at Carnivore in Nairobi. For you Toronto folks, if you didn't know yet, they serve them at Manyatta Restaurant Yorkville. It's not your average drinking hole, so bring at least a week's pay.
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Thirsty Thursdays; drunk ideas
Posted: June 18, 2009, 4:20 am by Mwistar
This is post Manila Bay. There was no action there. Recession bites.
On the weekend ...
It's four in the morning somewhere between last Saturday and Sunday. I'm in Markham, a vodka-something in my left hand, a barbecue tong on the other. My designated driver, Mwigangstar, decides that it is time to leave. Yaani the party was just hitting the sweet spot.
original drunk art :)
The car swings a left onto Mcowan, and I realize, Chief! things are messy. One too many. I'm on the hyper phase, and my chatty ass has no audience in the car. So I look out the passenger window. Damn! She's fine. If only there was a way I could flirt. If all else fails, Google it. Turns out somebody in the UK thought of the same thing, and did something about it. Motoflirt. Good idea. But, I don't have a cell phone anyways, so I can't text. I resort to drunk dialing. Always a bad idea.
I dare you to work with mom in a shamba after you come home at six in the morning, and didn't go to church coz you called in hangovered. I paid for my sins.
A deer at my sukuma wiki.
Not all drunk ideas are bad, but they mostly lead nowhere, and sometimes that's good.
PS. Send me your drunk art, if you have any. If you don't, send me some anyways.
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
There's just no use ...
Posted: June 17, 2009, 2:30 pm by Mwistar
Why do I even care? Must be the bio-chem in me. What is it that you think you have that I can't live without? Yes, you are fly, yes, you are sharp, yes, nilikunoki. Lakini within that flyness and sharpness, is malice, and paranoia that has now become too much. You have resorted to issuing threats about things that are not even there. Ati, you are sure 'it will never be the same again'. I was sure of that about a year ago when you did what you did!
If you really have these tight pals you are claiming, how can a mere balding, gossiper like me drive a wedge between you? When did I become that important, coz last time I checked, your pals were telling me ati, I'm bitter about being #2. Your words. Ka-sweetie, I am doing just fine. If you wish, then wish; I'll be happy. If you don't, then don't. I'll be happy too. Just leave my character alone. I don't need help assassinating it; I do a perfectly good job myself.
That's how I feel.
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Sheng Word Of The Week
Posted: June 15, 2009, 2:25 pm by Mwistar
-
Q & A With Nazizi Hirji, aka Kenya's First Lady
Posted: June 13, 2009, 4:59 pm by Mwistar
I moved away from Kenya just as the Music Industry was at a turning point. I felt like I missed out on something big. The last few years of the 90's gave us talent that was unmatched in creativity, and continues to captivate audiences. A decade on, I am on a never ending quest to fill the void that was left by my departure.Walter Lippmann, an award winning journalist, once said "It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf." Very few know this better than performing artists, and acquiring this wisdom takes time. Yet there are those who appear to possess it innately.
Nazizi is of this latter group.
I got the opportunity to speak with her about her career, and this is what she said:
The African Accent: You began composing songs from primary school days. Your first single, 'Ni sawa tu' debuted when you were only 16. Today, you are the most awarded Kenyan artist, and you have not broken 30 yet. Other than hard work, what else can you attribute to this success?
Nazizi: I think the success is mostly from the people. The way I see it, if the people don’t appreciate all your hard work and effort in the music industry then you don’t count. Focus is also really important coz, like most things, if you are in it for too long and you lose focus, you will not even be sure of what you are doing and why. For me I have to keep reminding myself that I am here for the African youth; to spread their message, to make them smile, to make them dance! Everything else comes second to that. I also give thanks to God for making it happen for me.
TAA: A Daily Nation article in 2003 states that when you began rapping, people did not take you seriously. They even called you a babi. You said that you had to be able to speak Sheng, so as to relate with young people. How important is Sheng for a music artist to gain street credibility in Kenya?
N: Sheng is as important now as it was back then. I think the people need to relate to something they know and understand. I also think it's easier to express some ideas when you are writing in Sheng than it is in English or Swahili. Today I think Sheng makes the music more interesting than the use of one language alone. I also think that I have managed to break more barriers by using Sheng in my music.
TAA: Necessary Noize came to be, in 2000. By 2004, the masses were singing along to the group's second album hits like 'Kenyan gal, Kenyan boy', and 'Bless my room'. In that year, you guys made a ragga fan out of everybody. Why did you pursue a reggae angle at a time when it seemed like everybody else was following the wildly popular hip-hop or genge sound?
N: Well, Necessary Noize has always been a group that doesn’t limit itself to one genre. At that time it felt like no one was representing Kenyan reggae. We weren’t sure if it was going to work but then, like all things, you have to take a risk. It was a good try. 'Bless my room' has gone on to influence some songs on my new album: African Youth. Reggae has the power to send strong messages and still get the people dancing. That song still gets the crowd rocking and I think its a good example for upcoming reggae artists in Kenya.
TAA: One of Necessary Noize's missions is to revolutionize the Kenyan music scene. How successful is this revolution?
N: I think we did revolutionize the music industry. Our first album in 2001 was the only local album that got all songs played on radio. The second was the first album to have four number 1 hits on radio. We set the standard for Kenyan music videos before other artist started shooting videos. We see artists like STL coming up coz we paved the way for young hip hop artists who wanted to rhyme in English. East African Bashment Crew is the first East African group to be successful, and I think the revolution still continues.
TAA: Which brings me to another Necessary Noize mission: To pave the way for other aspiring musicians and set the standards for them. You are arguably the biggest role model, especially for aspiring female MCs in Kenya. Do you feel sometimes like you have set the bar a little too high?
N: lol! I think the standards must be as high as possible in order for Kenya to get real musicians and not one hit wonders, you know? I truly feel like we did set the standards very high, but, in order to achieve greatness high standards are a must. Every year we should hear bigger and better music coming from Africa, only then we can get to be compared to international music and standards.
TAA: Increasingly, you are brushing shoulders with international artists: Sean Paul, Wayne Wonder, Akon, Julian 'Ju Ju' Marley. It's obvious that your music career is still gaining momentum. How did you manage to break the barriers in an industry where Kenyan artists are plagued with low album sales and little exposure?
N: I think the most important thing as an artist is to aim for the highest possible. I also think if you know that you are the best, then the world will definitely recognize you as the best. The rest will just fall into place. I never limited myself coz I knew first that, I’m a girl and I’ll have to work ten times harder than the guys. So I rapped when I had to, chanted reggae when I needed to, sang when it was necessary, and I just keep going. The barriers have no option but to let me through you know?
TAA: How have you managed to nurture your career, and still have time to attend high school, KDU College in Malaysia, and United States International University? Where do you get the time?
N: lol! The time must be created. 24 hrs in a day, and I had to use those hours well; had to sacrifice partying after shows, studied on the flights to and fro every time I had to travel, ... I really just had to up my game 100 notches up you know? I had to study extra hard and prove to the lecturers that I’m not just some musician but I’m a smart musician with a degree I deserve and all.
At the same time still had to please the fans; never said no to a show, even if I had an exam the next day. I just needed to be there for them as well. It was really hard but I did it and it proves anyone can if they put their mind to it.
I also got mad support from my family picking me from the airport, dropping me off at USIU, with no complaints; just love and understanding. That’s important too. The thing is, set a goal and achieve it no matter how hard it seems; that’s what I did and I loved both music and psychology equally so I gave it my all.
TAA: In 2007, Kenyan film director Wanuri Kahiu's short film, Ras Star, was loosely based on your life. Have you thought about acting roles, or anything else in the film industry? [You can watch the film here]
N: Me? No! I'm such a bad actor. I am shy on camera unless, I'm singing. I would love to write scripts though coz I've got many stories I'd like to tell. But acting ... I'll leave it to the professionals!
TAA: Do you still have a dream to be a pilot?
N: haha! The pilot thing faded away because of everything I've been involved in. Still, I think I fly as much as some pilots do, so I don’t feel like I'm missing out on that part of my dream!
TAA: Tell us a little about your first solo album released this year. Where can fans legitimately purchase your music?
N: The new album is titled AFRICAN YOUTH. It's got 14 tracks including 'Ni sawa tu' my first single. So far I've released 'Jump n Shout' and 'Jeshi' videos. The album is a mix of reggae and hip hop. I think it's balanced in that sense, but you all will have to listen and let me know. In Nairobi, you can buy the album from Numetro Nakumatt [now called Silverbird], and Uchumi Supermarket in Sarit Centre. I'm hoping this will be the next big thing for Nazizi.[The African Accent will show the videos, once we have acquired them]
That concluded the insight into Nazizi, performing artist, female MC extraordinaire, entrepreneur, and role model. You can catch her on her Facebook fan page under ‘Nazizi’.
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Thirsty Thursdays
Posted: June 11, 2009, 2:05 pm by Mwistar
On Thursday evenings, I usually go to the ka-local bar, 'Manila Bay', to shoot a couple of pool games, socialize with strangers, and give back to the community. The owner, Stan my Ghanian friend, and his wife usually give me a free pint and peanuts laced with paprika if I dare sing on the karaoke mike. The place is usually so empty that anybody who walks in sits at the same table with the three of us, and this Polish guy who's always taking Vodka shots between endless stories of his evil ex-wife, and his lovely daughter.
Since booze is such a universal conversation starter, my Thursday blog will be dedicated to alcohol, it's consumption, et cetera.
There's thousands of different drink mixes I want to try. Here's one them:
Iraqi Car Bomb
Ingredients:
- 3/4 pint Dos Equis Amber beer
[representing the black muddy water of the streets of Baghdad]
- 1 oz cinnamon schnapps
Dos Equis beer has the coolest TV commercial this season; it features 'The Most Interesting Man In The World'. Yeah, that's the name of the dude below. One ad goes on to say that 'he once had an awkward moment, just to see what it feels like'.
Stay thirsty my friends!
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Circumcision: Tradition or Assault?
Posted: June 8, 2009, 1:32 am by Mwistar
My nephew is less than a year old. Tradition dictated that I, being the maternal uncle, was in charge of making sure that he was circumcised. Normally he would have undergone the procedure at puberty. However, in this strange land where my family customs sometimes frighten the natives [for example, there was an incident when a police officer was tempted to draw his gun when he spotted a severed goat hoofs in the garage ... that's for another blog post], it made more sense to do it sooner rather than later.
After making the appointment, I felt like I was doing something illegal. Instructions were as follows: first, I was required to take the young one to hospital before 6:00AM. Second, I had to bring a few hundred dollars in cash! The early surgery hour was a bit odd, but I could justify it in several ways. Maybe it was the only time the surgeon was available. Plus, an article in the New York Times in 2006 talked about research done by Duke University on how afternoon procedures increased surgical problems including pain management. The second requirement, the cash, was harder to understand.
In Canada, there's a universal health care system. Basically, as long as you are a citizen, or a landed immigrant, you can walk into a clinic/hospital, flash your health card, and get anything from a general physical to a hip replacement on the government's tab. But for circumcision, the hospital wanted cash, not credit, not a cheque, and definitely not an IOU. It felt like a drug deal.
Aside from the traditional 'you are becoming a man' thing with male circumcision, I also believed that it was hygienic. But turns out that the Canadian Children's Rights Council does not think so. It is their position that,
"circumcision" of male or female children is genital mutilation of children.
They go on to say,
... both male and female, should be protected by the criminal laws of Canada with regards to this aggravated assault. Currently, the protection provided by the Criminal Code of Canada includes only genital mutilation (circumcision) of female children.
Goodness! What would my grandfather think?
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Sheng Word Of The Week
Posted: June 7, 2009, 9:04 pm by Mwistar
-
One child's laptop is another child's toy
Posted: June 5, 2009, 11:05 pm by Mwistar
Don't get me wrong, I was always for the One Laptop Per Child vision. It sounded [and still continues to] like an idea with untold potential. But there's been some criticisms lately. According to Scidev.net, the laptops are proving to be distractions in the classroom.
In some places, the teachers are not in a position to 'teach' the kids how to use the laptops. Naturally, the kids have adapted quickly and have taught themselves all the fun things the laptops can do. So now, teachers have stated that those things amount to toys in the class. It reminds me of the 80's when African countries borrowed heavily to speed up industrialization; bought machines, built sophisticated hydro dams, then realized that they didn't have the expertise to actually run the show.
The other day, I was thinking of how best to take advantage of the Internet boom that's sure to grip East Africa, now that the undersea fibre optic cables have docked. Cheap[er] high speed Internet, plus goodies like Voice Over IP which is likely to revive dead land lines. I hope it means more blog hits. Anyways, I think I'm far more optimistic about the impact of these cables, than I am about the effectiveness of the laptops in primary schools.
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
The Sheng Collabo [Part 2]
Posted: June 4, 2009, 1:44 pm by Mwistar
... Continued from The Sheng Collabo [Part 1]
Google gave me some insight, but my curiosity was unsatisfied. A 'Question & Answer' with Dunkie was the only solution I saw.
I caught up with Dunkie on Facebook. His page exhibited signs of massive activity, and I was afraid that my 'friend request' would be drowned by it all. To my surprise, Dunkie found the time to add me quite promptly. In addition, he also sat down, and answered a few questions I had:
The African Accent: What is Sheng.co.ke?
Dunkie: It is an online repository of Sheng and Engsh words. It seeks to provide translations, meanings and histories of these words.
TAA: Sheng, is a mix of English, Swahili, Kikuyu, Kamba, Luo, ... and that does not even encompass all the sources that Sheng draws on. In the early to mid 90's, there was an attempt at a printed Sheng Dictionary in Nairobi. It failed miserably. What inspired you to take on this challenge, and how successful have you been?
D: The print form of the the Sheng dictionary failed because of one simple reason. Publication took so long that by the time a full text was done, several new words had surfaced. I've been relatively successful in my attempt to keep the dictionary alive.
Relatively because the rate at which I'm getting new words online is not as high as I'd wish or worse still, as high as it was back when I started the online project. I used to pay for new words to be collected and verified, now I don't have as much money and time as I did before so the rate is lower.
What inspired me? Languages fascinate me... I speak several other languages... and Sheng just stood out because I was raised in a Sheng environment and there was so much myth and mystery about the language that I took it upon myself to "debunk the theory" that Sheng was corrupting other languages.
TAA: The Swahili purists have always complained that Sheng is nothing but a corruption of a beautiful language. And It should not be encouraged. What is your response?
D: Swahili itself is a corruption of Arabic and several East African coastal languages. I suggest they look elsewhere for a fight. My take on language is that it's a means of communication between two or more parties. If I speak in Sheng and you understand me, what's the fuss? I'm not sure there's a country that doesn't have it's own version of pidgin or some form of the same.
TAA: Tell us about the Mchongoano, Lyrics, and Graffiti angles related to Sheng.co.ke.
D: Graffiti (www.graffiti.co.ke) is a very old form of art that's recently gotten prominence on Kenyan streets via Matatu works. Most of the graffiti are in Sheng and painted by young people who seek to express themselves artistically via their work on the said Matatus. It is the visual form of the language.
Lyrics (http://lyrics.Sheng.co.ke), though still work in progress, is my attempt to collect lyrics to songs done by Kenyan or East Africa artists. As we know, close to 90% of the songs we listen to on our airwaves today are done in Sheng or some degree of Sheng. These artists are probably some of the most consistent introducers and mules of words. Best example is E-Sir with "ni-antaje" or Gidigidi Maji Maji with "unbwogable" or The Bugs with "Ma wezere".
Mchongoano is a traditional African form of entertainment that showcases ones speed with with, jest and humour. What the Americans call "your mama jokes" is actually practiced all over Africa from South Africa to Ghana, Nigeria, Tunisia, East Africa etc. It's about creating verbal images of a person, usually with the effect of prompting the target to come up with one joke "hotter" than the one cast at him/her. One is expected to do this very fast and creatively without necessarily being insulting.
The common denominator in all these is Sheng as the medium of transmission of the message/content.
TAA: What's the hottest Sheng word this week?
D: Mbeteka. It means rugby, in English.
For example:
Sheng: Collins Injera ni mnona mbeteka vi mayhem
English: Collins Injera plays a good game of rugby
Thanks to the efforts of Dunkie, and his project, Sheng.co.ke, The African Accent will now feature a weekly blog post: 'Sheng Word of the Week'. I think this is an excellent way to expose the world to the East African culture.
Ras Dunkie speaks with The African Accent. Do you speak African too?
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
The Sheng Collabo [Part 1]
Posted: June 4, 2009, 3:12 am by Mwistar
It began in the most unassuming way. I was tired from work and really out of it, when an email from Chasing Distraction changed everything. Being the ever excited zums, Distractions was eager to tell me that he had learned to 'shika rada' that day. "From where? Whose rada? Who is rada?" The Canadian public broadcasters, CBC Radio was his response.
"Ala?!"
I looked for the show he was talking about, and sure enough, I found it . There was this dude called Ras Dunkie, among others, who had taken over the airwaves, and was impressing the heck out of this ka-Canadian reporter doing a documentary. I had to learn a little more about Dunkie. So, I googled his ass.
Here was an ambitious Kenyan dedicating a lot of work to creating the first online Sheng kamusi/dictionary. To harness something as fluid as Sheng was impressive in itself. I was a bit skeptical, so, I kept my distance for a while, but with an eye on Dunkie.
I went back to listen to the show again. [click here and scroll to November 3rd, 2008. Listen to Part 1 - it is in MP3 format]
... Continued on The Sheng Collabo [Part 2]
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Corruption Diagnosis 09
Posted: June 3, 2009, 9:50 pm by Mwistar
Transparency International's 2009 Global Barometer surveyed 73,132 people in 69 countries and territories to measure the extent to which they perceive key sectors and institutions to be corrupt.
The most affected countries, i.e. those that had over 50% of respondents reporting to have paid bribes in the last 12 months, were all African - Cameroon, Liberia, Sierra Leon, Uganda.
Of the 8 regions surveyed, the most corrupt by percentage of total respondents, Sub-Saharan Africa was third, with 26%. Middle East & North Africa was highest with 40%, and North America lowest, with 2%.
The following are institutions voted most corrupt by African countries:
- Political parties - Nigeria
- Public officials/Civil servants - Cameroon, Ghana, Kenya, Morocco, Senegal, Zambia.
- Judiciary - Senegal, Uganda.
Of all the total services surveyed, the police was most corrupt. You can download the report here .
The article on All Africa goes on to say,
"Africans are among the most likely of the world's citizens to be forced to pay bribes - but they are also the most confident that their governments are trying to stop the practice ..."That seems a little contradictory to me, considering the overwhelming vote of no confidence in civil servants, public officials, and the judiciary by 8 out of 10 African countries included.
Also, I was curious about Senegal's lack of faith in the public officials and the judiciary. I say this because compared to the other African nations, I hardly see anything written about Senegal. Kenya, and Nigeria are always at the forefront. Uganda gets a few mentions occasionally. So does Zambia. Ghana has been featuring steadily, ever since they discovered oil, and also when former President Kofour's retirement package raised eyebrows. Not a peep on Senegal.
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Bling Bling, Money Ain't A Thing ... Arrgh!
Posted: June 1, 2009, 1:02 am by Mwistar
So I'm browsing the Internet, desperate to find an interesting read, when I come across this article titled, "Yo, ho, ho and a million-dollar mansion" published on June 2nd 2009.
Ever wonder what those Somali pirates do with all the cash they get? Yeah, besides re-arming to the bloody teeth? Well, according to Shashank Bengali, reporter for McClatchy Newspapers, the recent economic boom amongst Somali businessmen in Kenya is no magical feat.
Read on, courtesy of Taiwan News Online.
Come back when you are done ...
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
A Happy Madaraka Day Kenya
Posted: June 1, 2009, 7:11 pm by Mwistar
Is it really? Kenya celebrates freedom on June 1st. It marks a milestone in the growth of a nation that was united against colonial rule, as well as in its self confidence to govern. However, 46 years after the first celebration, the Nation is struggling to preserve these freedoms that we take for granted. We are ripe for role models who will bring back the pride, and responsibility that we celebrate on Madaraka Day.
Kenya was once considered a beacon of regional stability in Africa. Now, we are increasingly being painted with the same brush strokes as other potential failed states. Mention weak leadership, institutional corruption, tribalism, rising poverty, political instability, and Kenya is increasingly fitting the bill.
But all is not lost. The country has a post-independence generation that is seemingly forever optimistic. Those who are fortunate enough to get their post-secondary education abroad are coming back home in droves. Even with the current climate of uncertainty, brain drain seems to be at a minimal. In addition, those that choose to remain in foreign countries still hold their nationhood very dear.
Development is at a snail's pace, but it is still there. Though majority of the population is dependant on agriculture [which is mostly dependant on rainfall], service and industrial opportunities continue to grow. Notable is the undersea communication cables, officially launching end of this month, that will provide a major boost to business, and public Internet connectivity.
Hope alone can not be sufficient. We must be able to correct the mistakes of the past, and present in order to justify this hope. We owe it to ourselves, and future generations, to be a responsible country that is accountable for itself. Anything less, and we will be cheating ourselves out of Madaraka Day's spirit.
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
On Kenyan Men & Their Sex Boycott
Posted: May 27, 2009, 12:22 am by Mwistar
Yes, you read that right. The East African news world is a-buzz with Maendeleo Ya Wanaume, [Bungoma Branch] announcing a 30 day sex strike, in retaliation for the week-long sex ban imposed by Kenyan women last month.
According to New Vision, a Ugandan publication, there are 250 men endorsing the campaign. More are expected to join the ranks.
Maendeleo Ya Wanaume was established by Mr. Nderitu Njoka. During last month's sex ban, he was quoted by The Daily Nation saying,
“This is against the Bible, which calls on women to be submissive to their husbands ...”
There were a lot of angry men in Kenya that week. Some cited an infringement of their conjugal rights while others claimed that the women's sex boycott only encouraged prostitution. A Mr. James Kimondo sued activists for the stress he endured during the seven days.
I am curious as to how these men will reconcile their views with this new ban.
var addthis_pub="mwistar"; -
The Rome Finale Prediction
Posted: May 26, 2009, 6:32 pm by Mwistar
The hour is nigh! Manchester United will be humbled once and for all. The ass whooping will be amplified by the fact that Man-U is riding very high in the football world. My detractors like to revisit the Chelsea, Barca semi-final game, and call hand-balls and penalties that were denied.
Stadio Olimpico
I say, if the ref did not see, then you must acquit! Don't threaten his life. There's also the fast break theory, that says Man-U's transition game will exploit Barca's habit of advancing defenders to mid-field. Remember though, the same habit has given them 104 goals this season.
Man-U's unbeaten streak of 25 games is about to be abruptly halted. If this doesn't happen, I promise to give a heart-felt apology to any Man-Usless fans reading this, and start going to church every Sunday. If indeed I call this right, I will still go to church to thank the Lord!
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Chips Funga
Posted: May 25, 2009, 12:59 am by Mwistar
Beware chips funga. For those who have never heard the phrase, I'll attempt to explain. Chips funga translates to 'take-away french fries'. But as is the case with most almost every Kiswahili and Sheng phrase, there's more than one meaning.
The essence of take-away is that you can indulge in your purchase at your own pace, without an impatient restaurateur waiting for you to vacate the table for the next customer. This is the fundamental behind the chips funga phenomenon.
Imagine a night out in town. You've hit all the joints in Nairobi that are worth their beer. You have danced the night away, and fatigue is catching up with you. But these friendly strangers you met at the bar are insisting that you have one more drink. In fact, they buy it for you. Seeing no reason to turn down a pint, you agree. But first, you need to make room in your bladder.
When you come back, you take a swig of this mystery drink, and hit the dance floor again. Kidogo, your vision gets like 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas'.
My friend, you are about to become chips funga.ar addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Mediation At Its Best
Posted: May 23, 2009, 5:47 pm by Mwistar
This may come as a deviation from my standard practice of blogging about topics that mostly stem from alcohol. However, I thought I was drunk when I learned that Madagascar will be holding elections again in 14 months. This is according to an AU statement, published on AllAfrica.com.
Yes, the Ravalomanana and Rajoelina groups have agreed to hold fresh elections. In the mean time, they will elect a transitional authority to govern. The mediators; African Union, Southern African Development Community, United Nations, and Organisation Internationale de la Francophonie have managed to pull off a feat I didn't think possible, at least not in the atmosphere of the Kenya, and Zimbabwe debacles.
I am more than impressed.
But I will reserve my elation until the results of this election, if they do come to pass.
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
New Look!
Posted: May 22, 2009, 4:30 pm by Mwistar
I finally got around to changing the face on the blog. I know, I know ... I promised to do this weeks ago ... anyways, I figure, since the other look was roughish at best, this simpler look should be a lot more pleasing to the eyes.
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
My Words This Week
Posted: May 22, 2009, 2:23 am by Mwistar
It's been an interesting, odd, and sometimes painful one. These are a few [and mostly irrelevant] things that I am eager to share from my week!
1. Courtesy of CBC Radio. In addition to having eyes, whales use echolocation to see [kind of like sonar]. They have had about 50 million years to refine this ... you can say their sight is very sound. It is widely believed by marine biologists that they can see the internal organs of fellow whales, and anything else that is close enough. That is some real intimate shit! Imagine a blind date with a whale.
2. According to National Geographic [more specifically, a documentary called 'China's Mystery Mummies'], archaeologists discovered some well preserved human remains in Western China dating back to 8000 BC. Particularly, one fellow was in possession of a brass bell, a knife, and marijuana. Yes, marijuana. They speculate that he was some kind of shaman. I know a few 'shamans' myself; they carry the same, except the bell is now a cell.
3. Love hurts, even when you think it's not there.
4. A friend on Facebook started a row with Kenyans on why we use Royko Mchuzi Mix religiously on our food. He is quoted as saying,
... Oops my bad, didn’t realize Royko is a national treasure up with motherhood and drunkenness. What about the taste of Kenyan food is so egregious that it has to be subdued, dragged out in the street and “water boarded” with the same silky taste of Royko.
He goes on to say,
... It’s a sorrowful scene repeated all across the land; chicken flavored Royko mercilessly rubbed on to hapless potatoes, repeatedly slapped and urged to “confess, confess that u are a chicken!”
Water-boarded. I couldn't get enough of that. Nothing is quite like a passionate Kenyan.
5. It's officially nine months this week since I had a cell phone number. Life is very peaceful [and goddamn lonely]. But I am determined to keep it up. I have an unnatural inclination to go against the grain.
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Things that make me cringe
Posted: May 17, 2009, 11:31 pm by Mwistar
There's Borat, the movie. I couldn't finish watching it. But that's for another day.
Everybody has moments they would rather not remember. When my mind wanders down Memory Lane, I love to indulge in some memories. Others I'd rather just window shop. Those in the latter group can not be ignored forever. From time to time I bask in my shame. If not for the humor, then for my sanity. It's been a while since I last off-loaded. Call it spring cleaning my closet.
The apartment was bustling with activity the previous evening. Everybody was there; family, friends, squatters, neighbours, etc. Those of us who were going out were already buzzed from the 60 oz Long-Island Ice Tea. The more responsible ones were staying home to keep the folks company. It was going to be an early morning. I don't remember much else that night. Wananchi walipewa. Then morning came.
It took an effort to drag myself out of bed. I sat on the edge, supporting my head in my open palms, avoiding the sun rays through the window. The cell phone was ringing. I ignored it. A few seconds after it went silent, it buzzed against the night table. Voicemail. I picked it up and looked at the screen ... six missed calls from Shoks. Then it hits me like a runaway KBS. Or was it a DAF? Wifey's graduation!
For a moment, I couldn't move. Shock. I kept telling myself, 'this is not happening'. Yes it is. The apartment was eerily silent. Empty. I rushed to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Where are the car keys? At the ceremony you dumb ass. No time to shower. Still in yesterday's beer-and-cigarettes smelling attire. I gaged at the smell of deodorant. The cell phone rings again.
"I'm coming down right now!"
"No soldier left behind."
May Heavens bless those who help me when I fuck up, especially when I am too drunk to remember.
I dash out the door. I am clearing five stairs a leap. I fall down the last five. My head outweighs Kilimanjaro.
Afraid. Thirsty. Hungry. Nauseous. Very afraid. My knee is throbbing, but fear looms larger. Indeed. The fear does nothing for the nausea. We pull up to the National Arts Center, Ottawa. I limp from the car. I catch a glimpse of myself on the entrance glass door. Beer stained shirt. My clothes are so wrinkled, they are casting jagged shadows. Looks like I was carved out of granite. No lotion. Did I wash my face at least? Unlikely. I am handed a bouquet of roses by somebody. Aley? Bwana-K? I don't remember. I am shoved inside the hall. I missed the whole ceremony. She is standing there, surrounded by her friends. I want to cry, but I am too dehydrated.
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Of Maslow & Migrants
Posted: May 11, 2009, 3:43 pm by Mwistar
It’s been over 60 years since Abraham Maslow’s ‘A Theory of Human Motivation’ gave us the hierarchy of needs. It is not often that a theory [especially in psychology] survives that long. The hierarchy has proven mostly truthful, until now.
What Maslow did not take into account, was the impact of globalization, and the 'third world traveller'. For example, in the United States, there are approximately 30 million illegal immigrants.
Back-track to November 4th, 1996. Thanksgiving day, in the US, and what a day it was. Kenyans in their usual festive mood had amassed in Atlanta Georgia by the hundreds; ready to throw down for the long weekend. At about 4:00 am, the police were called to a house party/after-party in a suburban neighbourhood by a concerned neighbour for domestic disturbance. The alarm was raised at the party, and about half of the patrons magically disappeared in a feat Houdini would have been proud of.
Rewind to November 3rd. Nicholas was supposed to be driving from Florida to Atlanta. However, he couldn't locate a car rental within 50 miles of where he lived, so, he rented a 24 foot U-Haul moving truck. It was the only vehicle available. When word spread about the impending police presence, all the Kenyans crammed into the back of this truck; drinks, high-heels, and all. We drove away quietly, bound for the next party. At the time, it was the funniest thing I had witnessed.
What is important to note is that, as a foreigner, before you worry about food, shelter, clothing, [and the tax-man], there is an even more basic need that has to be met: Respect for Immigration Officers. Only after this need is fulfilled, can we rest, eat, and pay taxes.
Those who have attempted to bypass this basic need are increasingly being met with cold nights at airport cells, and deportation orders. In this day and age when foreigners are blamed for rising poverty, crime, terrorism, 'stealing jobs' and pretty much every other societal ill, Maslow's pyramid needs a modification to include the Immigration Department.
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Tears
Posted: May 2, 2009, 7:14 pm by Mwistar
Seventy odd liter
Emotional tears
It’s what we have throughout the years.
A tax for all the pain and gain
Levied directly from the vein.
Abiding ink for all ordeal
With lingering taste not so ideal?
Most usually save a drop or two
Exactly when they are feeling blue.
But Caesar always gets his due,
Despite all efforts to conceal.
Tears
Let them flow, not detain
Dampens fears
Happiness sweeter.
-
I Wasn’t Going To Go There
Posted: April 29, 2009, 6:42 am by Mwistar
Okay, I’m a little embarrassed about this, but what the heck. Gathoni [I’m sorry to call your name out like this, .. but] you already know the story, so it’s not a secret. I was just too curious about this ‘meet-someone-online’ phenomenon a little while ago. Yes, I was also very … idle, now that I look back. Anyways, so the saga unfolded like this:
Chapter 1: Gathoni tells me that it works. Her friends have been meeting very cool people online for some time.
There’s something about referrals like this, that give them an incredibility of sorts, but I say this with 20/20 hindsight. In my state of mind then, it was a good idea. Maybe I just wanted justification for something I was probably eventually going to try out. So, out came the credit card. $25 dollars later, I was baptized Shadez-O-Brown in the cold waters of the digital DNA pool called Lavalife.
Chapter 2: I’m chatting to all sorts of electronic beings I assume to be women.
Gathoni is encouraging; telling me how poetic I am sounding. Surely, I will find me a ka-supuu very shortly. Since I was just a novice at the online frolic, I didn’t think it a big deal that all these beings I was flirting with had no pictures on their profiles. One particular being who took a liking to my profile, kept sending me some suggestive messages. After a few days of my A-Game, she invited me to her house for dinner. I had an address, telephone number … Shadez-O-Brown was a smooth dude! [Or was I baited?] Little did I know …
Chapter 3: I had to tell Gathoni, who immediately demanded for a picture of my being/friend.
So, I told my new being/friend to send one. Gathoni was being adamant about it. Hater [so I thought]. My new being/friend eventually sent her likeness via email. One glance, and Gathoni was on the floor in laughter. She repeated the glance and laugh about ten times. I deleted the email. Were the pics that bad Gathoni? There was one with my being/friend in a black evening dress, then the other … oh gosh. I remember now. Okay, she turned out to be a little more … mature than we imagined.
Chapter 4: Dinner was a burger, give or take a Corona with Gathoni; she, who can can cast a hex on you and save your life from it, at the same time.
-
Diary of a Desperate Form One
Posted: April 22, 2009, 1:49 am by Mwistar
I still don’t believe I have this book. It’s actually an organizer, courtesy of Kenya Reinsurance Company [you know those pocket sized complementary things, with the ribbon book mark, and the first few pages ask for details like Name, Birth Date, Blood Type, … it’s like a citizenship application. And by the way, I filled out everything. Anyways, I digress…] Although it’s printed for the year 1994, I kept it as a diary in the first year of boarding school; Moi Forces Academy. First entry is dated Tuesday, January 9th, 1996, 3:22 pm:
I can’t believe this. My first day of school, and I have already broken into my own tin trunk, lost my bucket and hockey stick, and there is a weird guy making my bed for me. I locked the tin trunk when I was still at home. I left the key in the room. Must be excitement from owning a padlock; it’s my first you know.
I broke the lock, because mom was not willing to drive back home for the key. I’m getting goose bumps as I read on. It’s just too interesting.
Friday, February 23rd, 4:00pm
I don’t know how I am going to survive. My pocket money is finished from buying these idiots queen cakes. Nziu said that I owe him Ksh.. 20 … I don’t know for what. Plus I know the motherfucker broke into my wardrobe last week and stole my BB. Anyway, between now and prep, I’m staying upschool. He can kula my murram in the DH if he wants. I think I am going crazy.
Damn! I still hate that idiot, now that I think about it. He kicked my ass soon after, if I recall correctly. Anyway, I joined the rugby team because of him which I enjoyed. By the way, it wasn’t all bad; there was plenty of good times. I think I just wrote when things where thick.
PS: Yes, it was Nziu making my bed on that first day. Soon after, he made off with my chapatis. That turned out to be the first of many extortion payments to come.
-
How Kenyan Am I Really?
Posted: April 19, 2009, 10:47 pm by Mwistar
I asked myself this question recently, and ended up feeling homeless. I’ll explain …
I’ve lived a little over half my life in Kenya, and the other in Canada. [doesn’t feel that long when I look at it this way, but anyway.. ] During the former half, I was in Nairobi. However, this does not necessarily mean that I knew where I lived. I’ll explain …
I knew the route to church. I knew the route to school. I knew how to travel to the home upcountry. Anything in between, I didn’t know. Come to think of it, I wasn’t that adventurous. Hmm.
When I began mingling with the diaspora in the latter part of my life, I had to adapt my knowledge of the city to fit conversations. For example, I lived in South C, but I had no idea of how to get to Westlands. So, I found a map of Nairobi on the net [before Google Maps came to be] and learned the streets. This was half the battle. The other was pretending that I knew all the bars, clubs, and nyam-chom joints around the city that these people my age used to frequent. Some sprang up in my absence, while others existed even when I lived there, but it didn’t matter. I had never seen any of the places. “Mazee! You guy, when you go back, you should eat over there. When you fika, you know that ka-mkahawa that sells ndaoz and chapoz? Not there. It’s just kando, over there.” I nod and agree, my smile, ever so broad. [By the way, the place must exist since more than one person has told be about it]
So, how does all this make me feel homeless? Well, eventually, I began to believe that I knew Nairobi, and Kenya, more than I did; and that I was part of this life they spoke about, full of risk and adventure. In reality, I just missed being part of these experiences, and I envied them. I miss the life I didn’t live [is that even possible?]. This made me fear that I was somehow loosing touch with my roots; that I was not Kenyan enough. This feeling eventually made me fear becoming ‘too Canadian’.
Now, I don’t think I can adequately defend my being Canadian, or my being Kenyan. I feel somewhat detached from the culture here, while still yearn to be ‘Kenyan’. Even when I’m being critical of issues in Kenya and Africa, [which is almost always] I don’t feel justified. Homeless.
-
Find Migingo Island
Posted: April 17, 2009, 3:18 pm by Mwistar
Okay, I don't have much to add, in terms of new information, on this Migingo Island drama. If you want an enlightened take, read the post on A Nairobian Perspective.
However, what I offer is ....
FIND MIGINGO ISLAND, the game!
The Migingo Island has become an obsession, and a national pass-time in Kenya and Uganda. So, why not indulge!
View Larger Map
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Light-bulb Moments
Posted: April 13, 2009, 10:51 pm by Mwistar
‘Hello? .. Hello?’. I knock on the bathroom door for five minutes. Ever increasingly, I find myself pacing up and down the hallways in the house on the verge of bursting my bladder. I am talking to empty rooms. Surely, if the light is on, there must be somebody, right? I can wait no longer, so I turn the door knob. Light-bulb on. The bathroom has been vacant the whole time.
I picked up the smoking habit again this winter. On Good Friday evening, I decide to buy myself a pack at the local petrol station. It’s a cold night, so I put on a hooded sweater, and a jacket for the walk. On my way there, I see an elderly Sikh gentleman walking casually, a few paces in front of me. As I catch up to him, he turns just for a moment and sees my shadow under the street light. Suddenly, he jerks, and lunges for the street [holding on to his headgear]. Before I can process what’s happening, he leaps back onto the sidewalk, narrowly dodging oncoming traffic! Horns blaring. I stop in my tracks wondering whether he needs my help. By now he has fallen on the sidewalk, and is busy crawling; desperately trying to get away. Terror in his eyes. Me? light bulb dim. As much as I want to help him up, I decide to let him be. Beware [the] black man.
Holy Thursday. I am on the phone with grandma. She’s asking whether I have a wife yet, and when I am getting kids. I answer with the usual, ‘When the time is right’. She tells me that she will find me a wife. The time is right. She has heard through the grapevine that I am not fat. I thank her for her kind words. End call. Hold on, did she say she found me a wife, or … uh oh. Light-bulb off. I need to polish up on my mother tongue.
-
The 'Swana Code
Posted: April 3, 2009, 8:32 pm by Mwistar
On April 1st, there was a BBC article titled, "Botswana's dress rules 'sexist'". It got me curious as to what exactly the ban entailed. So, I posted the article on my facebook page, trying to elicit some feedback.
Lo and behold, an acquaintance, who works for the Botswana Government forwarded me the exact memo, sent from the office of the Director of Public Service Management, Botswana, to all public servants. It states:
... dress indicated below shall not be worn while on duty:
a. Clothing that reveals cleavage, bareback, chest, armpits, stomach and underwear.
b. Torn, dirty, wrinkled or frayed clothing.
c. Casual and gym wear including jeans and shorts.
d. Short and/or tight skirts, pants and dresses.
e. Body hugging clothing
f. Tops, shirts and t-shirts with offensive words, logos, pictures, cartoons or slogans.
g. Casual and sports shoes
h. Hats and caps. However, religious and traditional head covers and headgears may be allowed at the discretion of the Permanent Secretary.
i. Colourful hair styles.
Maybe it's just me, but I found it a bit funny.
But since "non-compliance shall amount to refusal to obey a lawful order or direction, which is a disciplinary offence", I encouraged my pal to iron his underwear, and eat a balanced diet, lest his hair discolours from marasmus.
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
Earth Hour Lights Off
Posted: March 29, 2009, 3:38 pm by Mwistar
CN Tower in Toronto
8:27PM EST
I remembered to switch off at the last possible moment. I had three minutes to find a candle, get to all the lights in the house, turn off the computer, and pour myself a drink [yes, alcoholic ... I'm I painting myself an ugly self portrait? Especially after 'A Loose Pint 1 & 2?]. Anyways, I had the mind to switch off the fuse box, then I thought maybe it is wise to leave the digital clocks on. Though it can be argued I've been in a sort of perpetual darkness, I did not want to overdo my participation. I am still somewhat afraid of the dark, but only in certain parts of the house.
8:30PM
Darkness. Suddenly the house is very noisy and quiet at the same time. Noisy because there are still footsteps to be heard, somebody is on an enthusiastic phone conversation, the crunching of my toe on the unforgiving dining chair leg, etc. Quiet enough that I can hear all these things, and much more, simultaneously!
8:50PM
After the toe crunch, I lost my marguerita glass somewhere in the house. I shouldn't be drinking in the dark anyways. Telephone call. Then I thought it wise to leave the house and rendezvous with a friend. No, it was not a booty call.
9:16PM
I am driving slowly through the neighbourhood. Not because the whole place is dark [which is what I expected], but because I am looking for a dark house. We can't have been the only ones who participated ... could we? Aha! I see another one.
9:22PM
On a major street now. The place is lit up brighter than Vegas. I feel a wave of self importance wash over me. I must have collected double karma points today for switching off.
9:29PM
On the highway. Then at precisely 9:30PM, I see the light. The road is straight for about 5KM. It is on a downward angle for about half the distance. On both sides of the highway, I can see whole neighbourhoods come on. What was inky darkness a few moments ago has lit up so bright, it gives off an orange halo.
9:33PM
I don't feel so self righteous any more. I am actually excited to have taken part in Earth Hour. I felt like I was part of something big. I became content in my miniscule contribution.
-
Snake Fist Swa
Posted: March 26, 2009, 12:23 am by Mwistar
Yes, Snake Fist Kiswahili, starring Jackie Chan.
I could not get enough of this. But it would be selfish of me if I didn't share. I poached it off a pal's facebook page. It is originally from Vioja Eafrica
Enjoy
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
-
The Waki List Revealed [Part 20]
Posted: March 25, 2009, 12:22 am by Mwistar
And with this, I have completed my penance. I know that it is too little to make up for the sins of my countrymen, but, doing nothing is not an option.
Of the many national tragedies I have lived to witness, this struck me the most. Honestly, it continues to scare the African accent out of me. I hope the worst is behind us, but I fear that it has only began.
The following list is the last of the implicated Members of Parliament, continued:
Alleged Perpetrator #11: Mr. Omondi Anyanga
Background: ODM Member of Parliament, Nyatike Constituency
Allegations: Participating and funding of violence
Supporting Information: Hiring of lorries to loot the cereals depot
Alleged Perpetrator #10: Mr. William Ole Ntimama
Background: ODM Member of Parliament, Narok North Constituency; Minister of National Heritage
Allegations: Incitement to violence
Supporting Information: During the 2007 elections campaign, he reportedly incited the Maasai in Narok against the Kikuyus and the Kisiis. He told the Maasais to evict the said communities if they did not vote for him and ODM.
On or about 30 December, 2007, the Narok Market was burnt and several people injured after he allegedly told Kalenjin and Maasai youth that the Kikuyu women in the market had insulted him.
Alleged Perpetrator #9: Mr. Henry Kosgey
Background: ODM Member of Parliament, Tinderet Constituency; Minister of Industrialization
Allegations: Planning, incitement, and financing violence
Supporting Information: He held several meetings with the Nandi Hills area councilors and other opinion leaders at Septon Guest House, within Septon Estate. It is believed the meetings were for planning and organizing the violence. He is also believed to have provided funds.
Alleged Perpetrator #8: Mr Fred Kapondi
Background: ODM Member of Parliament, Mount Elgon Constituency
Allegations: Inciting violence
Supporting Information: He attended and addressed a rally/meeting at Ziwa where violence was planned. He is alleged to have said that the Luhyas should be expelled from Trans Nzoia District.
Alleged Perpetrator #7: Mrs. Sally Kosgey
Background: ODM Member of Parliament, Aldai Constituency; Minister of Higher Education, Science, and Technology
Allegations: Planning, incitement, and financing violence
Supporting Information: Together with Mr. Henry Kosgey, they are alleged to have attended meetings to organize and fund the violence.
Alleged Perpetrator #6: Mr. Boaz Kaino
Background: ODM Member of Parliament, Marakwet West Constituency
Allegations: Inciting violence
Supporting Information: At a meeting, he reportedly said that he would remove Kikuyus and Kisiis from the area after elections.
Alleged Perpetrator #5: Mr. Willam Ruto
Background: ODM Member of Parliament, Eldoret North Constituency; Minister of Agriculture
Allegations: Planning, inciting and financing the violence
Supporting Information: In August 2007, he held meetings with other senior ODM leaders in Kipkelion, near Kericho, including the late Ms. Lorna Laboso, the late Mr. Kipkalya Kones, Mr. Magerer Kiprono, and Mr. Franklin Bett, where the leaders resolved to carry out massive evictions of non-Kalenjins from 'their' Rift Valley Province areas, particularly the Kikuyus and Kisiis.
During an opening ceremony for the Seventh Day Adventist Church in a place called Mailing, he is alleged to have said that they would "uproot the sangari, shake off the soil, gather it together and burn it," in reference to the 'outside communities'.
He is alleged to have addressed the public at Bisaboi Shopping Center in Turbor, near Burnt Forest, and incited the Kalenjin and the Luhya communities against the Kikuyu.
At a meeting on 22 December, 2007, at his home in Sugoi, he said that his headache was Mr. Jonathan Bii, his political opponent, who supported the Kikuyus on the land issue. He directed that they should be attacked if they dared campaign in the area.
Alleged Perpetrator #4: The late Mr. Kipkalya Kones
Background: Former ODM Member of Parliament, Bomet Constituency
Allegations: Planning, incitement and financing violence
Supporting Information: In January 2008, he reportedly addressed youth, saying, "When we tell you to block, make sure you block the road, and when we tell you to remove, make sure you remove them."
Kalenjin raiders were hosted in his home at Sirikwa, from where they launched attacks against Kikuyus and Kisiis.
Together with the late Mr. David Kimutai Too, and Mr. Franklin Bett, they financed the Kalenjin youth who attacked Kikuyus and Kisiis in Kericho.
Alleged Perpetrator #3: The late Mr. David Kimutai Too
Background: Former ODM Member of Parliament, Anamoi Constituency Allegations: Planning, incitement, and financing violence
Supporting Information: On 23 November, 2007, he went to Stagemart in Kericho and addressed a crowd, asking residents to remove all the madoadoa [blemishes/spots] from the region. In January 2008, he again asked for the madoadoa to be removed.
Together with Mr. Franklin Bett, and the late Mr. Kipkalya Kones, they financed the youth who attacked the Kikuyus and Kisiis in Kericho.
Alleged Perpetrator #2: Mr Franklin Bett
Background: ODM Member of Parliament, Bureti Constituency
Allegations: Planning, incitement, and financing violence
Supporting Information: During a public meeting in Kiptororo, Kuresoi, in December 2007, he reportedly urged the Kalenjins to fight the Kikuyus until they left the Molo area.
Before the elections, he and other prominent politicians attended a meeting in the inside Ndoinet Forest. After the meeting, the attendees attacked and destroyed property belonging to non-Kalenjins.
He brought young men in groups of more than 300 from Bomet, who worked with the Luo locals to attack the Kikuyus.
Together with the late Mr. Kipkalya Kones, and the late Mr Kimutai Too, they financed the Kalenjin youths who attacked Kikuyus and Kisiis in Kericho. He organized these youths, gave them transport, fuel and food, and held meeting with them at Kericho Tea Hotel and other places.
He told supporters that "all the investors in Kericho and in the estates will either be Kalenjin or Indian." This statement is said to have motivated the youths to attack all other tribes, especially the Kikuyus and Kisiis.
He is reported to have explained to his audience at Kipkatet that no one can take what belongs to the Kalenjin, especially land.
In a meeting held in Chopkoibet in Bomet, he is quoted to have said that he would "beat up the Kikuyus until they leave Molo."
Together with the late Mr. Kipkalya Kones, and the late Mr David Kimutai Too, they organized and facilitated the youths to be transported from Transmara and Bomet by lorries through Silibwet to go and chase Kikuyus from Kuresoi.
He intimidated people at Kericho Police Station and told them that those who gave information to investigators on the post election violence would be lynched.
Eye witness reports say that on 30 December, 2007, at 10:00 AM, at the Caltex Petrol Station in Kericho Town, he gave unspecified amounts of money to some Kalenjin and Luo men, who immediately after, started stoning and burning kiosks that were percieved to be owned by Kikuyus. In fact, they were owned by the Kipsigis and Kisii communities.
Alleged Perpetrator #1: The late Ms. Lorna Laboso
Background: Former ODM Member of Parliament, Sotik Constituency
Allegations: Planning and incitement to violence
Supporting Information: On the third week of January 2008, she attended a puported 'peace meeting' at Manaret Society and incited the local community. After, a vicious attack against the Kisiis was intensified.
Together with Mr. Franklin Bett, they talked to and incited about 700 youths at the Sotik Tea Estate. Immediately after they left, the youths began burning houses belonging to the Kisiis.
var addthis_pub="mwistar";
Blah blah blah
Fish cakes
Alas a fish cake.
Yet more fish cakes
Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.
The end of the fish cakes
