Items by Movie Buff

Life and its General Nonsense

• Lists

  Posted: May 6, 2008, 3:40 pm by Movie Buff

  Ciiku, you have to host a radio spot and you are required to give a list of 30 R and B songs that will be played... what songs would they be?
  
  
  I’d die without you – PM Dawn
  Sending my love – Zhane
  I sit away – Boyz II Men
  Saa Zingine – Didge
  Like you’ll never see me – Alicia Keys
  No Air – Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown
  Can you stop the rain – Peabo Bryson
  So amazing – Luther Vandross
  Someone to hold – Trey Lorenz
  We can’t be friends – Deborah Cox and R.L
  Stop Falling – Pink
  King of Sorrow – Sade
  Ritwa Riaku – Eric Wainaina
  They don’t know – Jon B
  Fortunate - Maxwell
  I will get there – Boyz II Men
  Tomorrow – Tevin Campbell
  5 miles to empty – Brownstone
  If you don’t wanna love me – Tamar Braxton
  At your best (you are love) – Aaliyah
  Love of my life – Sybil
  Comforter – Shai
  Still in love – Luther Vandross
  Ready for love – India Arie
  Make me whole – Amel Larrieux
  You – Jesse Powell
  He loves me – Jill Scott
  The heat – Toni Braxton

• Siri ya Urembo

  Posted: April 29, 2008, 1:18 pm by Movie Buff

  Chandarana Supermarket
  Unlucky for me, the closest supermarket to my digs in Nakumatt Thika Road. That place is ALWAYS and I do mean ALWAYS packed. The parking is horrible as well. I found my new thing, Chandarana Supermarket – Mobil Plaza. Not only are there no queues, it is actually cheaper than Nakumatt.
  If you really MUST shop at Nakumatt, Westgate is your best option
  
  Pizza Inn
  First off, Terrific Tuesdays is just a brilliant idea. Buy one pizza and get one free? Makes me hungry even writing this. And then, Debonairs has the worst pizza ever! I don’t know if they have excess onions in their stock but they just put too many onions and then the pizza is pretty much tasteless. The cheese they use is awful Honestly, there is nothing nice I can say about Debonairs. Viva Pizza Inn
  
  Total – Hurlingham Roundabout!
  This is the total that is diagonally opposite Silver Spring Hotel. Not only is the Bonjour store open 24 hours, they have the best car cleaning services I have found as yet in Nairobi. The Kenchic is also open 24 hours…….. Many are the times after the rave we have had some delicious kuku!!! Im even wishing for some right about now!
  NB: I think of all the convenience stores, Total stores [Bonjour] are the cheapest. For sure I know that Engen is the most overpriced!
  
  Dormans – Any Outlet
  Dormans has the best coffee and best service. THE.END!

• Randomness Galore

  Posted: April 24, 2008, 3:18 pm by Movie Buff

  
  
  • Star Jones is getting a divorce from Al Reynolds. Somebody call the press......the police..... Inspekta Mwala... somebody call someone!
  
  
  • I have not listened to radio since Mwalimu left classic. The story is that he will partner with Munene Nyagah and do the morning show on Nation/Easy Fm. I have never been a Munene Fan
  
  
  • I think Hamedi should be kicked out of Project Fame. His audacity to sing "Your beautiful" is unforgivable!!!!!!
  • Facebook now has chat. The world is coming to an end!
  • If you have not visited Foxy's Wine and Cappucino Bar on the movie floor of Sarit, I implore you to. Also visit Open House Indian Restaurant in Centro House Westland. Amazing food!
  • Where can someone go to get professional photographs taken? And dont tell me Mona studios in Hurlingham!

• Maoni Yenu

  Posted: April 22, 2008, 5:24 pm by Movie Buff

  Hello readers of my blog,
  
  There is this dude that I know, and I wish I did not know.
  Anyway, said dude is hella arrogant, and single like a dollar bill.
  I keep telling our mutual friends that a woman will agree to stay with him and even marry me due to the allure of money [not his].
  
  Anyway, he wrote me a text, and said:
  
  Pretty unattached girls over 25 should be left to rot on their own because they think they have arrived but there's still so much to learn.
  
  NOTE:
  
  He is 32
  He is single
  He lives at home.
  
  Maoni yenu on the italicised story?

• Random

  Posted: April 21, 2008, 5:04 pm by Movie Buff

  Am I the only person watching Tusker Project Fame?
  Before I unleash who I think has a chance of winning, I would like to know what the readers of this blog think. So please feel free to tell.
  
  So you have all heard that Tamasha/Buffet Part is closing?
  Yeah..... ati they are moving to a new location in Nairobi West.
  As far as I am concerned, that is as good as closing.... roho safi.
  
  If I wanted to rave on Sato... and wanted to steer clear of Westi, what are my options?
  By the way, I have totally blacklisted Westlands on Saturdays. Its like Sodom and Gomorrah!!!

• Friday

  Posted: April 18, 2008, 2:36 pm by Movie Buff

  Today is independence day in Zimbabwe!

• I cant think right now

  Posted: April 16, 2008, 12:03 pm by Movie Buff

  Now, we all agree that US food really does not taste as good as home food. I totally concur with that sentiment. That being said, there is some stuff that I still miss:
  
  Cornbread
  Oreo McFlurry
  Pizza and in particular Papa John’s Pizza
  Iced Tea
  
  I believe that the person who lied to women that Hints Work on Men, should be taken to a clearing in a forest somewhere and be shot…… Like seriously. And if there is a woman out there who still is busy wasting energy hinting for something, to a MAN, then she needs to be schooled and even scolded. I mean! Can people just live in the times? Some of these things are not rocket science. If you want a particular gift on your birthday, please ask for it, even remind him when exactly your birthday is.
  
  
  I love Band Boy Music!
  
  Couple of disclaimers before I embark on the above topic:
  
  I don’t like all boy bands.
  
  Boys II Men, are NOT a boy band! All the others are though, Dru Hill, All for One, Color me Badd, 112 etc
  
  Im a sucker for a good love song. Sometimes even cheesy ones that make me smile.
  
  Another random day, I was watching music videos and they brought an old Backstreet Boys video, I believe it was more than that….. and I sang along and I smiled. Made me ponder and I realised.... A Little Hope Never Hurt Nobody!

• Long Post

  Posted: April 11, 2008, 11:54 am by Movie Buff

  Before I begin what I want to say, I would like to get this out of the way:
  
  
  This may come as a surprise to frequent readers of this blog but I don’t believe in the invisible hand of fate. I don’t believe that “the one” [please note the quotes], will come and knock at your door and you will live happily ever after. I believe in people owning their destinies and following their personal legends as outlined in The Alchemist. I believe in the saying: I am the captain of my ship, the master of my destiny. I believe in people working, diligently, on themselves and on their lives to improve it [and themselves].I believe in being proactive.
  
  That being said, if you have issues with how your life is, I believe that you have to own up to it, understand it and make the necessary changes, no matter the risk or work involved. That being said, if you do have issues with your life, and you decide, for reasons beyond my comprehension, to not do anything about it, please don’t waste my time with your whining.
  
  Thanks
  
  
  Now, onto the post I was going to do today:
  
  There are questions that I can’t help but answer. Questions that my other self asks:
  
  How do you feel about Mwalimu King’ang’i leaving classic fm?
  
  [Wipes away tears before replying], I am downright inconsolable. I can’t believe. Truth be told, that morning show was made by the two of them together, working as a team. Alone, I don’t think they can do as good a job as they did as a team. Then again, it’s just my opinion….. Sigh… Such is life though
  
  What is your favorite Ne-Yo song?
  
  Well, first off, I would like to give kudos to the brother coz he can WRITE. Too bad about his looks though. To answer your question, it’s a tie between ‘So Sick’ and ‘Go on Girl’
  
  Why Jon – B?
  
  I wonder as well, but there is something about that man that gives me shivers, good shivers.
  
  Currently, what is mind-boggling you?
  
  The thought that there are Kenyans out there who think that politicians are going to help them. They need to realize that we need to mobilize as Kenyans; we are the only ones who can help ourselves.
  
  What are some of the things that irk you, even if it is a small irk?
  

  PEOPLE WHO SPELL EVERYTHING IN CAPS
  Txts tat r ovrly abbrvtd, it tks 2ice as lng to rd them
  Emails that have no punctuations. Full stops, Question Marks, Paragraphs. I mean, come on!
  People who shake your hand or hug you like they don’t want to.
  
  
  Why do you sometimes tell people “I’m sorry” and sometimes “I apologize”?
  
  Well, sometimes I don’t think I was wrong and therefore I don’t feel sorry for what I have said or done…. To these people for the sake of common courtesy, I say “I apologize for ABCD” but I don’t mean it. Just trying to break the ice and move on and whatnot.
  
  Words I like but I can never include in conversations:
  
  - Juxtapose
  - Extrapolate
  - Superimpose
  - Succinct
  
  Finally…. African Idol? Anybody? The dude with the blonde wig? Singing in Soprano? Hilarious stuff!!!!!

  Have an Uber Fab weekend!

• Memo

  Posted: April 5, 2008, 2:18 pm by Movie Buff

  To: Nation/Easy Fm
  
  From: Ciiku and her mess
  
  REF: AKON
  
  This may have passed your attention but many are the times that you have sponsored the above named cat to come and 'entertain' us and he has yet to show his face here. Despite this, you insist on playing his music every hour on the hour.
  
  First off, I dont know how you can stand his music that much, he absolutely sucks... and I for one am glad he has yet to come and pollute our air with his noise. Second, do you get gratuity for playing his crap? Im just curious because it seems you are obssessed with him kiasi.
  
  Please stop. Just stop.
  
  Thank you.
  
  Ciiku
  
  Ps: Now you cant say that you did not get the memo.
  
  Also, quit on the "Its Beautiful" song! Damn! What is the name of that
  fellow? James Blunt.... yeah.... him.... Blacklist him from your airwaves
  stat. Thanks
  Please do some

• Drivers Wanted: Maturity Needed

  Posted: April 2, 2008, 4:15 pm by Movie Buff

  I have always deemed myself an observer and as a result, I am compelled to write the following post:
  
  Overzealous and Careless Drivers on the Road:
  
  I don’t know if I am the only one who has noticed but the people behind certain cars are the ones with the tendency to over speed, overlap, unnecessary overtaking and other haphazard driving on the road. Do correct me if I am wrong:
  
  1. Matatu Drivers – I put them first because it’s rather obvious. No need to go into details here.
  
  2. Taxi Drivers – They are the new age matatu drivers. Someone needs to stop them. Anyway, they are too many on the road as it is. See matatus above.
  
  3. Mfano was School Bus – There are certain old matatus that have been reverted to be carrying kids in the morning. Honestly, I am appalled at these drivers. First, the kids are all standing in the bus, unaware of the dangers and then, the fool is overlapping and just driving as though he has forgotten he is no longer driving a “school bus” but a matatu
  
  4. Extremely Old Cars – Its as though the drivers of this cars are aware that once they hit someone, especially someone with a newer car, their car will not even get a scratch and therefore with this don’t care attitude, they drive recklessly
  
  5. Drivers of Luxury Cars who still live in apartments – If you pay rent and drive a Benz, if you live with mummy and daddy and drive a Volvo, I'm talking to you son! Honestly, its as though these people want everyone to know that they are driving a luxury car…. To see them on the road, you would think they helped to build it. [There was a time while in Sarit I was telling a buddy of mine that before selling a Benz, whether old or new, it should be mandatory to go for a maturity test. They should just not be sold to any Tom, Dick and Harry Kimani]. Coz surely, when someone in a Toyota drives like an imbecile, you kinda expect it. If you are in a Benz, we kinda expect you to be gentle on the road and on your expensive car.

• all for one

  Posted: March 31, 2008, 1:31 am by Movie Buff

  Sorry for being out of touch…..
  Onto the stories!!!!
  
  Last weekend [easter] was awesome for me, I listened to great music [DJ. Adrian is unmatchable yo!], I was mildly entertained and as per kawa, my life continues to be awesome. It helps that I did not have to think of work.
  
  First off, I would like to send a shout out to some dude who danced with me during new jack. Awesomeness young man!!!! That’s how it should be.
  
  I would also like to call out some mama who was smoking inside during soul. When the waiter asked her to stop, she actually started complaining…… I mean…. Is you stupid or something??? The rules are the rules and what makes u think you are above them?
  
  I wonder how much it costs to get Dj Adrian to play for a private party.
  
  Oh! Oh! My cousin dared me to ask this random dude what he was wearing [cologne wise] coz dude was smelling kaundu nice. The dude tells me, he has no idea but he believes that it his natural body odor also known as sweat. I smiled and that was that. Then the dude comes back and tells me, when I find out what it is, how will I get a hold of you? [At this point, I have lost all interest in that story, I MEAN!], so I tell him, I will be seated right here. And that story ends there. Seriously….. COME ON!
  
  Also at soul, I saw these langas and I started wondering to myself, when they are having cat fights, how do they insult each other? Coz obviously they cant call each other “You ho!” seeing as that is not an insult but a fact…… [an idle mind I tell you].
  
  
  This past weekend, I learnt so many things that I have to share:
  
  Dj Adrian and Pinye were in a dance group.?
  Maina Kageni was a singer? [In other news, I met him……[I shall discuss that later]]
  Driving barefoot or with slippers in Kenya is illegal [HA! If this law was implemented I would have been arrested long time ago]
  
  
  Now, who watched tusker project fame on Sunday?
  Like seriously……. Were those people serious?
  Like…… I chekad till I reached the floor. TOO MUCH! I shall be staying tuned…….

• Comedic Relief

  Posted: March 18, 2008, 3:55 pm by Movie Buff

  These strips have made me laugh for the past couple of days....... I just wanted to share with you all!
  
  
  How we see ourselves? How the world sees us??
  Damn hilarious!
  
  
  Like seriously.... will mamas ever learn???
  
  
  But the come back is phenomenal!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  LOL! - Thats enough right there!
  
  Source: Yahoo Comics
  
  
  Im on leave now.... HOLLA! Im loose like whoa!

• Weekendi!

  Posted: March 17, 2008, 1:10 pm by Movie Buff

  For those who were asking where I saw the hot men....... well, a couple was at church and another was in town.
  
  Now, this weekend..... we went to the club.... you know the one called "Blue ......." that place where Galileo is at and Club Afrique... but can I just say that Alcohol is a hell of a drug coz none of us can remember the name... We all just know its called Blue something. So, please holla if you know what its called.
  
  Additionally, I tasted Muratina! Now, I can tick that off my "To-Do" list.
  
  How was it, you ask?
  See me in camera!
  
  
  Have an excellent week.

• WooooooWIiiiiiiii

  Posted: March 14, 2008, 3:30 pm by Movie Buff

  Now, I have always said that there was so much eye candy in Stato and when I got here..... it was kinda lacking roho safi.
  
  This week, I have seen some other blest children of God [read: Hot men!]...... I stand corrected......
  
  
  WAH! Good times indeed!

• Someni Vijana

  Posted: March 12, 2008, 11:17 am by Movie Buff

  I dont know if I told you that I atlast joined Book Villa and it has been great. Granted that sometimes they dont have the books I want but thats to be expected. Why have I thought to bring this up? Well, I was asking my pals whether there were book clubs in Nai. I got responses like "Do Kenyan's read?" and "I would not have a single clue" but atlast I got the number for one.
  
  
  
  This is an invitation to you to join the immortal book club.This is a club whose aim is to bring together a group of young readers who can unwind from their busy work schedules as they discuss a book they have been reading over a glass of wine or a soft drink.
  
  
  
  If interested you can come register at Hazina Towers 9th floor at the P.S.C. wing.Registration is 1000 shillings for the whole year(this is an unbeatable offer!) and an additional 200 for each session.This can also be done online at www.immortal-media.com
  
  
  
  The book club kicks off on 7th of march at 6.00pm to 7.30pm and shall from then henceforth be held on a weekly basis.Ideas are welcome on the kind of book you would like to discuss. ps:We shall provide the books for the club at a subsidized rate.
  
  
  
  Winnie Mulwa 3
  
  
  
  Immortal Media
  
  Hazina Towers
  
  9th floor, PSC wing
  
  PO Box 34064-00100 Nairobi.
  
  +254 241 449, +254 733 427 802, +254 721 467 684
  
  
  
  No offence and everything but there is no way I would join this book club.
  
  
  
  OK, Registration, is Kshs. 1,000.
  
  Weekly rate is Kshs 200 so for one year, Kshs. 10,400
  
  You buy the book at a subsidized rate [lets assume the book is 900 shillings at 15% discount that adds up to 765, you have to buy lets say 20 books in one year [this is an assumption on my part]]. This adds up to Kshs 15,300
  
  
  
  Total is Kshs 26,700. [And I am being very generous here because if the meetings are weekly, are you supposed to have finished one book a week? So 52 books need to be bought in one year? The hell??]
  
  
  That total assumed above is the amount I pay for insurance in one year.
  
  
  
  Si then I can just get like 5 people, we be reading a book a month and then meet and discuss it....... Isnt that like a good plan?

• ukweli wa mambo

  Posted: March 10, 2008, 2:51 pm by Movie Buff

  There are many things I want to touch on today so you will have to excuse me for this post and if you can’t keep up, just breathe in and out and move on:

  • The people who send this country back is Kenyans themselves. The other day, I was driving behind a matatu and a passenger threw out a whole ½ liter packet of finished yogurt. I mean, surely, was that necessary. Who knows a way we can curb this menace because many are the times when passengers in these matatus and buses throw things out of the window. And then people are busy saying that the City Council is not doing there work.
  • This morning on my drive to work, I witnessed two men, in different cars and on different roads, stop their cars to take a piss [traffic can sometimes cause you bodily harm]. Now I am aware that for men, holding it in is apparently a big deal but COME ON! Seriously…….. The side of the gatdamn road? That’s just disgusting and VERY uncouth.
  • Milo had mentioned how Kachoi has good food but I had never ventured there until jana. Oh my! It was pretty tight. Please try the Masala Chips when and if you decide to give Choices a chance.
  • Now that they closed the steers on Langata road, why is the sign still hanging? Can someone do something about that? Please?
  • Last evening I had Iced Tea at the Sherlock’s Den at Nakumatt Ukay. Yes, I did say Iced Tea and no it was not cold. How in the hell is Iced Tea not cold? That really perturbed me and I was a bit disappointed since I kinda like Sherlock’s Den.

• WHY?

  Posted: March 7, 2008, 2:56 pm by Movie Buff

  OK... Im sorry but this is kinda bugging me kiasi.
  People who wear their work badges before 8 and after 5.
  Seriously... have you walked in town?
  Its like a rampant disease.
  
  There are the guys who put the name tag on their neck and then the card into their shirt pockets. Im not talking about those ones.... Im talking about ladies and gents walking with them on their neck like its a necklace.
  
  Whats with that?
  Mine never even leaves my purse.
  
  Maybe its just me.
  
  
  Have an EXCELLENT weekend people

• More Randomness

  Posted: March 5, 2008, 11:31 am by Movie Buff

  I have more questions for people and I would really like it if I got some answers:
  
  1. Where is the dude from Kiini Macho? And since I rarely watch TV, is that show still on?
  2. Fred Obachi Machoka?
  3. The lady from Mke Nyumbani?
  4. The dude who was called Hamisi with the afro who said the English news on KBC?
  5. The dude from the Vicks Kingo advertisement? “Ohhhhh, I have a sorethroat……”
  
  An answer would be nice on the above….. Thanks!
  
  I would like my readers to ponder on the following today:
  
  No one can persuade another to change. Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside. We cannot open the gate of another either by argument or by emotional appeal
  ~ Marilyn Ferguson~
  
  Now, onto new things I have discovered in Nairobi.
  
  ADDICTION!!
  
  No! I am not addicted. That is the name of a place at the food court in Nakumatt Westgate Mall. As in!!! I was so shocked by how good the food was. I had a chicken and avocado sandwich [in a baguette, costs Kshs 280] yesterday and that thing went down so smoothly I knew I had to come and tell people.
  Try that place……. Too awesome. We also had black forest cake and although I am not a fan as such, I was sold. It was too deadly. Im still dreaming about it.
  
  Remember, ADDICTION, second floor of Nakumatt Westgate!

• The Art of Making Excuses

  Posted: March 4, 2008, 5:00 pm by Movie Buff

  THATS IT!
  
  I have HAD IT!
  
  There are just people in my life who have GOTS to go! Im sorry. I cant be making excuses for them any longer. I just cant.
  Im not judgemental I dont think.
  There are just people out there who are just........ A-N-I-M-A-L-S and rather than letting them chafua my roho by their inability to be human, they just have to be erased with immediate effect.

• Answers to Questions

  Posted: February 29, 2008, 11:15 am by Movie Buff

  From Anonymous 1
  
  1. Why did you stop stop bloging on Dare me blog?
  
  I don’t know. I just did
  
  2. Are you planning on going back to the 410 area code?
  
  To visit maybe. Summer 2009!!!
  
  3. What do you do and how do you do it?
  
  I work. I do it quite well.
  
  From Anonymous 2 who Im not sure is the same as Anonymous 1
  
  1. Do you go on blind dates?
  
  I have only ever been to one in my life. Why? You want to hook me up? I can dig a blind date..... I think.
  
  2. What are the chances of giving it up on the first date?
  
  No chance
  
  3. What's your fav alcoholic drink?
  
  Last year, it was viceroy and fanta. This year, its too early to tell. I however am feeling Gin and Tonic. But the truth is my mood dictates the drink.
  
  4. How do you like your men?
  
  Available.
  
  From 3n
  
  1. What is the one material thing that you treasure the most in the world?
  
  It’s a tie between the laptop and mp3 player
  
  From Nubian Queen
  
  1. Dont u think ur a lil bit too harsh on the Kenyan ladies(fashion wise) as far as everything is concerned...not everyone has the pleasure of shoping at hermes and eating Kosher meat?
  
  No I am not. I don’t think that wearing clothes that fit has anything to do with shopping at Hermes and eating kosher meat. It has to do with knowing what your size is and buying things that FIT. Knowing your body shape/figure and being aware of what flatters you. Just because you see something on TV does not mean it will look good on you. I'd rather be hated for telling someone what looks bad on them and what doesnt than being loved for being a hypocrite. "Oh girl, that looks good on you" kumbe that time she looks wack. Thats not my style.
  
  2. Are you enjoying youself in Kenya or u prefer living in GA?...and why if u dont mind?
  
  I preferred living in Maryland than Georgia. [GO BMORE] And I prefer living in Kenya than Maryland. So yeah, I prefer living in Kenya than Georgia. Why? Because it home.

• I see tag season is in.

  Posted: February 27, 2008, 11:14 am by Movie Buff

  I see tag season is in.
  
  Kama kawaida, I will not do it the way it is supposed to be done….. I’ll just do it.
  
  Six things
  
  I can listen to one song on repeat for 45 minutes… even an hour. Of course it has to be a deadly song like “On the wings of love” or “I will get there”

  
  I have to play at least two games of solitaire per week day. Be it at work or at home.
  

  I can stay in the digs a whole weekend. My room to be exact. Just chuck to use the bathroom, get food and go to church.
  

  I have loud monologues in the car almost ever morning. I strongly believe that it is necessary to talk to yourself….. However, the loudness with which I do it can be considered crazy… maybe??
  

  I know who I was meant to be with. The stars are just not aligned properly…. YET!
  

  It will take a miracle to get me to cut my hair. I spent 18 years of my life with boy short hair…. Im enjoying it…..
  
  Ok, Im done with Kipepeo’s tag.
  Now for Archer’s tag…..
  
  Readers of the blog “Life and its General Nonsense”….. Now is the time to ask me any question and I do mean ANY question………
  
  Floor is yours!

• Commonly used phrases/words/statements by Kenyan Men in ...

  Posted: February 21, 2008, 1:36 pm by Movie Buff

  Commonly used phrases/words/statements by Kenyan Men in Kenya
  
  I am so far from being able to write a “Guide to Dating Kenyan Men in Kenya” but I’m getting there so don’t think for a second that I have forgotten. However, I think I am quite capable of writing about this because I have heard things that just amuse me.
  
  
  • You know there are many women who would sleep with me, but I chose you – Use this one when you are dealing with a slightly difficult woman. Apparently its supposed to make her feel special
  • I can do without sex – Use this to make it sound like you have had enough sex and now you are looking for a serious relationship.
  • I drive a _____________________[Try something along the side of a Benz]
  • I work at ____________________ [This as well as the one above should be mentioned within minutes of meeting said lady. It works even better if you have a business card to quickly flash out]
  
  SIDEBAR
  I had a collection of business cards, I tell you…… it was very entertaining….Got rid of them though.
  
  • Women in Nairobi are like _______ [insert negative word here], but there is something about you that just makes you__________ [Insert positive word[s] here] –Again, it’s supposedly the allure that you are looking for something permanent….. Don’t look at me... I don’t get it either
  
  Normal Conversation
  
  • My Guy, You Guy [or whatever variation with the word Guy] – This is while talking to your male friends. Sometimes you accidentally call a woman my guy. Use when trying to put what you think is an important point across
  • Chief, Boss – See above. Also as a greeting i.e. Sema Boss, What’s up Chief?
  
  
  Necessities
  
  • Please be a member of at least one Chama also known as Investment Club
  • Boys are key. It doesn’t matter whether the last time you talked to them was two years ago, those are YOUR BOYS and you mention them all the time, without actually stating their names. They are YOUR BOYS. i.e My boy just had a baby. My boy just did this or the other. My boys are eating nyama at XYZ

• Learning

  Posted: February 20, 2008, 4:36 pm by Movie Buff

  I believe that learning something new everyday is a gift.
  Granted, sometimes what you learn cannot in any way,shape or form add value to your life but still, its something you did not know and who knows, it may be a future question in "Jeopardy". Take an example, today I decided to Wiki Larenz Tate and I found out his wife's name is Tomasina Parrott. WTH?

• Things that amuse me...

  Posted: February 18, 2008, 11:32 am by Movie Buff

  .... edition 1111
  
  

  • Men who tuck in their ties.....

  WHY???
  

• Being in Nairobi Makes my Day!

  Posted: February 15, 2008, 11:30 am by Movie Buff

  
  
  
  This damn near killed me.
  
  No, you are not dyslexic.... that really does say UMBRELLERA!
  
  
  
  
  Some people need lessons on how to wear knee high boots and especially what heel of a knee high boot to wear with a dress. Now that I have said that, the mama in the dress... needs help. If you are her friend, please help her.
  
  I know that dude in the back was going... "Oh No she didn't"
  
  Thankyouhaveaniceday.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  It was really interesting [Read:Amusing] being in town and watching women walking around with rose(s) feeling special. I mean.... GOOD FOR YOU!... If that flower increases your self esteem one notch, buy one for yourself every day.
  
  Its like, if you did not get a rose from your mano, you were not loved or something..... Granted I am certifiably, registered, embossed and happily single so maybe for me its another story but come on now..... even Capital, Bic and many other companies were giving out FREE roses the whole day on the street. Just grab yourself one and have a timam day..... POSITIVE VIBES Yo!
  
  That being said, did you catch Ciku busting someone this morning???
  Love............ What does it have to do with anything I wonder????

• Every day People

  Posted: February 14, 2008, 4:06 pm by Movie Buff

  This post, is dedicated to one person. He that made me read 'The Prophet" and from there I extracted this. Love you babes.......
  
  On Love
  
  Then said Almitra, "Speak to us of Love."
  
  And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:
  
  When love beckons to you follow him,
  
  Though his ways are hard and steep.
  
  And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
  
  Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
  
  And when he speaks to you believe in him,
  
  Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.
  
  For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
  
  Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
  
  So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.
  
  Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
  
  He threshes you to make you naked.
  
  He sifts you to free you from your husks.
  
  He grinds you to whiteness.
  
  He kneads you until you are pliant;
  
  And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
  
  All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment
  of Life's heart.
  
  But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
  
  Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
  
  Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.
  
  Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
  
  Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
  
  For love is sufficient unto love.
  
  When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, I am in the heart of God."
  
  And think not you can direct the course of love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
  
  Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.
  
  But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
  
  To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
  
  To know the pain of too much tenderness.
  
  To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
  
  And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
  
  To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
  
  To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
  
  To return home at eventide with gratitude;
  
  And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.
  
  
  ~Extracted from The Prophet~
  
  Tomorrow, watch this space for my photo skills of the madness that is Nairobi on Valentines Day.

• WARNING!!!

  Posted: February 12, 2008, 4:18 pm by Movie Buff

  Please never wear red and black on the week of valentines.... everyone thinks you are feeling the "love" and whatnot.
  
  
  This is what I get for just picking clothes out of the wardrobe without thinking. Surely.... if someone else tells me I should have saved this outfit for Thursday I will have a fit!!!!

• AFCON

  Posted: February 8, 2008, 1:14 pm by Movie Buff

  So I watched Ghana losing.

• Sharing

  Posted: February 4, 2008, 2:23 pm by Movie Buff

  The Journey
  One day you finally knewwhat you had to do, and began,though the voices around youkept shoutingtheir bad advice --though the whole housebegan to trembleand you felt the old tugat your ankles."Mend my life!"each voice cried.But you didn't stop.You knew what you had to do,though the wind priedwith its stiff fingersat the very foundations,though their melancholy was terrible.It was already lateenough, and a wild night,and the road full of fallenbranches and stones.But little by little,as you left their voices behind,.the stars began to burnthrough the sheets of clouds,and there was a new voicewhich you slowlyrecognized as your own,that kept you companyas you strode deeper and deeperinto the world,determined to dothe only thing you could do --determined to savethe only life you could save.
  ~ Mary Oliver ~ I read some things sometimes and I just have to share because I always hope that it will move you as it moved me. May it move you.

• Why do I care that Heath Leger ...

  Posted: January 23, 2008, 12:47 pm by Movie Buff

  Why do I care that Heath Leger is dead?

• 21 Questions!!!

  Posted: January 22, 2008, 1:55 pm by Movie Buff

  1. Where is Tony Patti nowadays?
  2. And Crazy Cess? And Sean Cardovilis? [Mind the Spelling]
  3. Who is that Kenzo dude and who wrote Mama Milka? [Im feeling that jam sana]
  4. Are the Kenyan video gals serious?
  5. The chic rapper STL who sang “Tunawakilisha”, isn’t she something else? That mama has some serious skill.
  6. Where are kina Shadz of Blak, Intu and the Kenyan Old Skoolers? [Except Jimmi… we all know where he at]
  7. Is it possible for Serengeti Groove to be played at some rave? That song was the shit
  8. Will Hot 96 ever become a valid and certified radio station?
  9. Was there a memo sent out to majority of the female newscasters ordering them to always have weaves on their head?
  10. Who is the male reporter on NTV with the fake British Accent?
  11. And can he stopped immediately?
  12. 89.50 FM? Ghetto Radio? Anybody?
  13. Does anyone watch KTN for their news?
  14. Is it remotely possible for me to be Amani’s stylist? Or even fashion advisor?
  15. Aren’t the Duracoat advertisements so FABULOUS?
  16. And who is doing the Barclays Billboard ads? And can they be fired… STAT?
  17. Monier 2000? Remember them??
  18. Redykyulass is pretty much done huh?
  19. Does Sheila Mwanyigha aka Nikki seriously think she can outsing Nyota Ndogo?
  20. Mercy Myra? Where you at?
  21. Since Homeboyz started a Djing school, is it possible for Maina Kageni and Mwalimu to start a Radio host show school or something?

• Happiness.... worryless....

  Posted: January 16, 2008, 1:02 pm by Movie Buff

  Why should you get a telkom wireless cell phone?
  
  Because it is AWESOME!!!!
  
  Am I impressed?
  Yes I am.
  Is it cheap and affordable?
  Yes it is
  Do I recommend it?
  Without a doubt.
  
  Last year when I had issues with my safcom line, I was not sure what I was getting into when I bought my telkom line. I have not looked back ever since, It is my aim to transfer as many people as I can [hence this blog post] to stress free calling and texting!!!
  
  And as if the clear, uncongested network and cheapness was not enough, their customer service actually answers the phone and HELPS YOU OUT.....
  
  Can you believe it?
  
  I was too shocked myself.
  
  Try it and get back to me!

• My pride, My strenght, My joy

  Posted: January 4, 2008, 8:16 pm by Movie Buff

  Everyone is aware by now that our beloved country is in a crisis. For many, their lives are on pause, waiting for the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. For others, their lives and those of the ones they love have been lost.
  
  Now there are many schools of thought on how to restore peace to this country: Dialogue, forming coalition government, independent audit of the just completed polls… Now, I am not a guru and I don’t have my own solution to this matter. All I can say with conviction is that despite the façade that people are fighting for democracy, it has become abundantly clear that this boils down to greed. GREED FOR POWER. As Chris Kirubi said, there is a display of ego by the parties in question.
  As has been stated by many, all calls to an end to the violence has been done half heartedly especially by the two parties in question. It is apparent that for them, the violence is a means to an end. What end you ask? I have no idea but it does not justify it at ALL.
  An attempt by one to state that the police were being violent on the common mwananchi [Read: demonstrators] totally perplexed me. As Carol and Nyambane said this morning, what makes those hooligans think that they are more Kenyan than those who voted? If I was asked I think that the police are actually displaying a lot of restraint and were it not for them, this country would be in further distress.
  As I seat writing this, I wonder whether there is more I can do. I wonder if people are really willing to listen to reason while their eyes are blinded by the thought of power. I wonder why they are insisting on INTERNATIONAL mediators with such intent. Do these people who are fighting for the politicians think that the Kshs. 1,000 they are getting will actually help them in the long run? Are they rational beings in the first place?
  
  
  As Carol said again, We are the only ones who can help save this country because it is plainly obvious that the politicians do not care for the welfare of the citizens.
  
  Sometime last year, I read a book, “Straw Dogs” and the author said: War, like smoking, is a habit of the poor. Ponder upon that my good people.

• Confessions.. Part 1

  Posted: December 13, 2007, 7:35 pm by Movie Buff

  I cant stand London's Bridge and neither can I stand Glamorous.....and any other song she has featured in [I have said before that the Black Eyed Peas sold their souls to the devil by adding her] but there is something about Fergie's song "clumsy" that makes me kinda like it.
  
  So one of my most favorite people in the whole world sent me this video and ofcourse I have to share.
  Jimmi Gathu kweli..... he! Dude has come from far... why lie????
  And can you see him like... a Bobby Brown protege nini!!
  Good Times!
  
  
  
  But seriously... its just sad that years later... their message is still relevant and nothing has been done about the menace on the roads.....
  
  BTW... who is the dude rapping?
  Also... who are the chiles?
  
  Seriously... they should do a "where are they now... Kenyan edition"... Id like to know what happened to Shades of Blaq!!!

• Holidays

  Posted: December 11, 2007, 6:58 pm by Movie Buff

  If you are not seated in a bar somewhere by 4.30 today... woe unto you because after the drama [TRAFFIC] I had to endure last time where was a holiday in the middle of the week [Moi Day]... I know I will be somewhere seated at 4.30.
  
  Also, I forgot to keep you abreast but I now write in the blog Hapa na Pale which reviews various restaurants, bars, trains.... basically, its a review blog that has peoples opinions about a variety of things in Kenya. Please visit the site when you have a chance.
  
  I broke a tooth jana....... so not cool.
  
  Have a lovely Jamhuri day!

• SERIOUSLY

  Posted: December 4, 2007, 7:28 pm by Movie Buff

  Can someone get me Amani's number?
  
  I love that chile too much to see her dressing like this!!!!
  
  In other news, we have been in traffic with Franklin Wambugu [citizen news anchor] twice in a week...... He is hot.

• Radio in Kenya

  Posted: November 28, 2007, 5:35 pm by Movie Buff

  I know its been a while since I made some criticisms about radio in Kenya. Well, here I go again.

  1. Classic 105.20 – The afternoon people – Nick and someone.

  Now seriously, I think that as a radio presenter, more than giving us your opinions, if you insist on giving us facts, please…. Know the facts. And also, please remember that you are talking to a multitude of people. Don’t act like the only person you are talking to is your co presenter.

  2. Hot 96 – Tina and Kwach

  There is no worse combination of radio presenters than these two right here. Tina is annoying. Her voice is annoying and she says some of the dumbest things I have ever heard. Like seriously…… I still maintain that Hot 96 plays good music….. but their presenters need JESUS! Kwach is not too rough and I have to give him some serious props for being able to maintain his IQ levels after hosting with Tina

  3. Capital FM - Chris and Allan

  Oh dear! Where do I begin with this? Oh… I know….. CAPITAL… WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING [wooosaaaa Ciiku]. Honestly, The Jam was a good show…. And how Allan passed the voice test to be a presenter is beyond me. First, his voice is irritating. Second, Chris and him don’t mesh, AT ALL. He does not speak clearly… its like he has a frog on his throat.

  Before I even go on I have to ask: Do they read from somewhere or is it pure ad lib? Coz this dude sometimes does not even get the phone number right. Its 984984.. I mean… kuwa serious sometimes.

  5. Homeboyz Radio – 91.5 – G Money

  Shoot me with a stick……. Seriously….. Have you listened to this man? [I read his little interview in the Sunday paper]. Let me begin by saying that I cant stand they way he talks especially his attempts to pronounce Swahili words. I think that if Homeboyz management decided to go and get some dude from London… then let him act British. He will never be Phil Matthews so quit it.

  That being said, the presenters on Homeboyz need help. There is some random show with many presenters. A chile is asked….. What was your favorite subject in high school? She says…. Im embarrassed to say this but it was Kiswahili. Huh? Embarassed? Now how? What the? Think people… THINK!

  6. Kiss Fm - Most of the presenters

  I know that you are trying to create a brand name but surely.... there is NO NEED to say your names every six minutes. WHAT THE HELL? Stop the madness y'all!
  

  I still maintain that Maina Kageni and Mwalimu are the best presenters on radio right now. Fareed and Seanice are not too bad either. That’s about it.

• Commercials

  Posted: November 27, 2007, 6:40 pm by Movie Buff

  There is soooo much politicking going on.
  So let me get to the point.
  
  I think the person/people behind the ads on tv are pretty intense people.
  
  An ad that caught my eye is a PNU ad.
  
  It shows Raila in 2002 during the NARC euphoria saying: Musalia Mudavadi ndiye alikula pesa za GOldenberg, na kama nimesema uwongo, aseme..... [or something like that] and then, some words come: Will Musalia Mudavadi be the next Vice President?
  
  I thought that was very innovative.

• Road Carnages

  Posted: November 22, 2007, 5:25 pm by Movie Buff

  Lately there has been an increase in road carnages. A week doesn’t go by when a Public Service Van is not involved in an accident. While I am sure that private cars are also involved in accidents, I’m here to talk about matatus and buses.

  When these accidents occur, people are seen on TV asking the government to put speed bumps in certain areas so that these PSVs can slow down at black spots. I have just had it about to here [points to neck] with this! How much more can the government do? Sometimes as citizens, we need to take responsibility for somethings. Did they not introduce Speed Governors? Of course people have found ways around this and it would not surprise me if more than 80% of them don’t have this equipment fitted. Also, as passengers, nothing pleases them more than speeding. As far as they are concerned, the faster the driver goes, the sooner they will get to their destination. When have you ever heard an “abiria” say to the driver that he is driving too fast? NEVER. Im not trying to be the devil’s advocate here but come on…… Im sure we all wish that there is a way we could get out public transport system in order. As far as I am concerned, I think there are too many matatus on the road. Desisting from importing any more would be a very primal idea if I was asked.

  Even though the IQ of KBS and City Hoppa drivers is negligible, I believe it would be better if we had more of them and less of matatus on the road. 50% [pure guess] of the traffic is caused by matatus, either overlapping or in a nonsensical accident or just too bloody many on the road.

• Ha Ha of Kenyan Politics

  Posted: November 20, 2007, 5:56 pm by Movie Buff

  So..... am I the only one who has been laughing????
  
  Once the nominations were over... the bigwigs could not believe that they had not sailed through.
  
  Enter fool one:
  
  Kamotho.... dude was about to cry. I hear he has done nothing all those years he has been the MP for Mathioya... and yet he thought he could continue making buku cash doing nothing. AND HE WAS ABOUT TO CRY! He later joined Safina. These people dont give up.
  
  Enter fool two:
  
  Norman Nyagah... dude cried foul. He could not believe that he had been unseated in Kamukunji. He bitched, complained and whatnot. Too much drama. He later joined The Independent Party [Tip Tip] which, the chairman, Kalembe Ndile was once insulted by Nyagah due to the fact that he is uneducated. To be a politician means to be like the proverbial dog that returns to its Vomit.
  
  I do like Kalembe Ndile. He is comic relief galore!

• Manic Monday

  Posted: November 19, 2007, 5:57 pm by Movie Buff

  Honestly, my mondays have become rather good these days. I surely cant complain [although last Monday I had whiplash from an accident... but I did get to sleep the whole day].....
  
  New jack was the bomb sana. That Dormans in Carni is really amazing.
  
  Can people give me ideas of where to eat in Nai?
  I need nice new places to eat at.
  
  Also, can I be told why people like Mwendas?
  Thanks!

• Life

  Posted: November 15, 2007, 4:56 pm by Movie Buff

  When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. You cant make orange juice, apple juice... nope... you can only make lemonades. What am I trying to say? Just that. If you cant read into that statement... thats your storo.
  
  New jack kesho?
  Mad representing kama kawaida.
  
  I love the internet so so much. I am totally up to date with all the episodes of House... proving to me that it was probably my best show since I made a point of looking for the episodes.
  
  To more important matters:
  
  All those in Nairobi, does any of you have Amani's number?
  As you are aware, I totally stan for her but I think she needs a new fashion adviser. Roho safi. So if someone can tell me how I can offer her my services...for free.... I will be totally glad. Thanks much.

• Rain down on me

  Posted: November 14, 2007, 4:27 pm by Movie Buff

  
  
  So the other night it was raining and it took me more than 5 minutes... actually more than 10 minutes to remember the name of these dudus...... ha ha
  
  Kumbe kumbe....

• MOU

  Posted: November 13, 2007, 4:56 pm by Movie Buff

  So your inboxes are full with copies of the MOU between Raila and NAMLEF.
  
  I rarely, if ever do political posts... but what the?
  Like... seriously!
  WHAT THE?
  
  I cant even speak

• Question

  Posted: November 6, 2007, 6:13 pm by Movie Buff

  
  Where in Nai can I get Bagels?
  
  I miss Panera Bread Bagels.

• The greatest Con

  Posted: November 5, 2007, 6:35 pm by Movie Buff

  So Im walking on Tom Mboya street [right near the fire station], talking to my mum on the phone. Im on my way to the parking opposite Barclays Plaza coz thats where my moti is.
  I hang up the phone. This dude infront of me drops an envelope. I can see it has money. This dude beside me picks it and pockets it. I ask him, "Utaiweka tu ama utamrudishia pesa zake".... The dude tells me "si tuonge to gawanye".... Im like.... "Bila.... mimi sijali... umrudishie ama uweke"
  
  Then the dude [who has the money], starts opening the envelope telling me the way it has 40K in it and the way I can get 20 and him 20. I can see the owner of the envelope walking fast oblivious to the fact that he has potentially lost money.
  
  Do you know what I said to this dude who is potentially giving me 20k "Mimi ni mtoto wa Mungu.... siwezi kuiba pesa za mtu" and proceeded to walk away from him.
  
  
  If it were you, what would you have done?
  
  
  
  Later on, I told my mum the story and she told me that it is actually a con that people do. The moment you agree to split the money, the dude takes you to a random kichochoro and the other dude who supposedly lost the money comes and they rob you. It happened to my uncle. Suffice to say, my mum is feeling very good about how she brought me up!

• HA HA on TV

  Posted: October 30, 2007, 7:38 pm by Movie Buff

  So have u watched Cobra Squad?
  [For those who are not aware, Cobra Squad is a new show on Nation TV abt a police outfit that combats crime. The show is written, directed and produced by the government spokesman Alfred Mutua]
  Anyway, I watched my first episode this past Sunday.
  CAN THEY JUST BE SERIOUS??
  Like,.... I laughed and laughed until my ribs were aching. Real talk.
  I would love to explain how that show is ridiculous but you just cant get the gist of it unless you were there.
  
  I got a Telkom Wireless phone.
  So far, Im pretty impressed but its too early to say anything. So watch this space.
  
  In other news, Im sick and tired of people bitching about everything and yet, they themselves are not doing anything to support their cause. Honestly, you have to bet the change you want to see in the world. On that note, can people just stop throwing trash out of their cars and matatus? Thats just totally irresponsible.
  Get it together Nairobians [and whoever else is littering out there]

• Ha Ha of friday

  Posted: October 26, 2007, 6:28 pm by Movie Buff

  In todays paper, Daystar University took out an ad for new diploma courses and mispelt the word CONVENIENTLY.
  It kinda irked me.
  Kwani they dont have spell check or something?
  What the?
  
  I keep missing Papa Shirandula..... [New show in Citizen].... Im not happy about that.
  Ate at Trattoria. Nothing to write home about.
  
  Im so looking forward to this weekend.
  
  Good Times!

• More Life

  Posted: October 24, 2007, 8:19 pm by Movie Buff

  Like seriously... my life is like a soap opera.
  I totally love living it.
  
  please.... keep watch... that post for dating is really turning out not too rough......

• Fact

  Posted: October 22, 2007, 6:31 pm by Movie Buff

  Who is having the worst week ever?
  
  ENGLAND
  
  The lost to Russia [Euro 2008]
  Lost the Rugby World Cup
  and Lewis Hamilton is not the champion
  
  
  
  HA!

• Life... oh life

  Posted: October 16, 2007, 6:32 pm by Movie Buff

  A long time ago.... there was a dude I met and we just clicked. It helped that he was kinda hot. Ofcourse... whatever it was that made me have a crush on him ended. And that was the last time I had a crush on someone.
  I like crushes. Coz they come and they go.
  No need to feel that you have to go out.
  Its just a rush you get......
  Hormones and whatnot.
  
  A toast...... to random crushes.
  May they come..... and may they go.Please. Go.

• HA HA of the morning

  Posted: October 9, 2007, 7:05 pm by Movie Buff

  I always try and catch the morning show on Classic especially the part where people call in with their dilemmas. So today. this chic has been going out with this guy for four years. They live together. She got saved a few weeks/days ago and now, she no longer can have sex with the guy due to her new saved status and that she wanted to get married.... then she would have sex with him. The dude semas he is not ready to get married. She insists that they are happy. *roll eyes*
  
  HA HA HA HA HA HA
  
  People are very ambitious for real. Now.... seriously... she had already agreed and the sesame has been open for business...... now... she semas zii. AND THEN the chile is like..... "I dont know if I should move out"... seriously.... this is just lacking common sense. Ofcourse if you are going to say that you are now saved and want to be "virgin like" then obviously you have to move out.... ALA!
  
  Really tripped me out.

• The Format

  Posted: October 8, 2007, 6:53 pm by Movie Buff

  Ladies and gents, you are not the only ones seeing my blog all weird... its been that way for a while and I really cant even begin to understand whats going on...
  
  Stay Tuned... I'll be back

• Facts of Life

  Posted: October 4, 2007, 6:51 pm by Movie Buff

  Just like Kenyan Chick wrote a kenyan guide to kenya, I was thinking, she should do a guide on dating Kenyan men in Kenya... I think it would be a riot. I dont have any stories.. YET! But watch this space........
  
  Someone... anyone out there work for Citizen/Royal Media? Why is it that the translation for El Cuerpo del Deseo stands as Second Chance but the actual translation is The Body of Desire? Why? Can someone explain to Ciiku that mess?
  
  Now onto serious business:
  
  I just finished reading Rogue Ambassador - Smith Hempstone's book on his time as an Ambassador here in good ol' Kenya. It made me realize how as Kenyans we really went through a lot during the previous regime and yet, we remained silent. How much we were tortured, muzzled......... For so many years, Kenya was stagnant. Companies like KCC, KMC, Rivatex closed, Insecurity was a major issue, the shilling was not worth much, say anything about the government and you would be jailed. Times have changed I tell you.
  
  Moving on, I still have yet to join Book Villa. I have no idea why I keep postponing. Maybe because I hate looking for parking in town.
  
  I officially LOATHE matatus and their drivers. Before it was just hate... now it has increased to sheer loathing. The scratch on the side of my car is an added reason why.
  
  I know I did not say anything about New Jack. It was H-O-T. Dj Pinye was on the 1s and 2s. I prefer Adrian but he was aight. The crowd was tooo super so I had a BLAST.
  
  Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose, or Plus ça change, plus c’est pareil

• New Things

  Posted: September 28, 2007, 7:44 pm by Movie Buff

  I have always advocated for people to try new things. If you don't take risks... your life is just boring. Thats the beauty of options. You try something, it doesnt work, you move on.
  
  So I watched Rugby. I can dig it. Really, I can. I have realized I have a high tolerance for sports. But please dont ask me to watch Formula One. HATED IT!
  
  Im in search of a good burger.
  K1 has pretty decent burgers. I ate at Kengeles West and it was so-so. Nothing to write home about. Anyone know a place with good burgers ebu si u holla at me.
  
  Let me tell you, there is NOTHING that can replicate nyamchom. I know we used to have BBQs and could devour goats and whatnot but after the good things I have eaten here.... I can only feel sad about those days when we called it BBQ and not Nyamchom. Those in the diaspora... take heart... its the best you got!
  
  Good meat I have eaten: The Hood, Sarivid [See me in camera for locations if u have no idea]
  
  PS: Have u guys had that song that some dude has sung rhyming everything with titi, msikiti, sweti, whateverti....... IS THAT MAN SERIOUS?
  As in surely.....

• Little Things

  Posted: September 25, 2007, 3:36 pm by Movie Buff

  I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
  I recommend walking around naked in your living room
  Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
  It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
  Wait until the dust settles
  
  You live you learn
  You love you learn
  You cry you learn
  You lose you learn
  You bleed you learn
  You scream you learn
  
  I recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone
  I certainly do
  I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at anytime
  Feel free
  Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)
  Hold it up (to the rays)
  You wait and see when the smoke clears
  
  Repeat chorus
  
  Wear it out (like a three-year-old would do)
  Melt it down (you're gonna have to eventually anyway)
  The fire trucks are coming up around the bend

• Help Wanted

  Posted: September 19, 2007, 5:17 pm by Movie Buff

  There is a vacancy for the position of a matatu driver.
  
  Requirements:
  
  Low IQ levels
  Ability to bribe Kenyan policemen
  If you lack common sense
  If you would rather be there, than here, even if there is traffic over there.... Resulting in the blockage of the road and an unnecessary traffic jam please apply immediately!
  
  *No offence intended... well, maybe a little*
  *Position does not really exist. Just trying to make a point*
  
  I love Kenya. I love being in Kenya.
  
  Now onto more negativity....
  
  First, there was Marcus and Leo - DYNAMITE
  Then there was Marcus and Chris - Not too rough
  Then now there is Chris and Alan - Someone take a gun and just shoot me.
  
  And if anyone knows Kalechi Mumo or whoever she is [co-host with Shaffie Weru] on Kiss FM... Please... tell her the name is Collie Buddz. Not Culi Buddyz.

• Just Because

  Posted: September 19, 2007, 5:08 pm by Movie Buff

  
  I know I havent said much about Jon B.... the reason I live..... and so this picture should make up for it.
  
  I was jamming to his Bonafide cd this morning on the way to Lord knows where..... *sigh*... Im in a good place y'all

• Things that make you go hmmmm

  Posted: September 13, 2007, 5:13 pm by Movie Buff

  This morning I was in the waiting room of a certain company. With me on this room were four guys who I believe worked in this company. These said men, began speaking about the tea gal who had just served them tea.
  
  The conversation was funny bordering on nauseating, bordering on downright sleazy.
  
  Not only did they say that the Tea Gal had 'ivad', they also went on to say that she should not be serving tea in the office but rather, in their respective houses [get their drift]. They went on to say that atleast one of them should 'angukia' this lady and that it had been confirmed that she drinks Redds which only costs Kshs. 130.
  
  One of them said... AND I QUOTE: "Im married, but I am very available"
  
  WHAT IN THE BLUE FUCK HELL?
  
  Hahahahahahaha.... Oh God! I was just glad to get out of there!

• Then there was light

  Posted: September 6, 2007, 6:12 pm by Movie Buff

  I now understand how someone can move back to Nai and just stop blogging. As in, its not on purpose.... It just happens. I have so many things to talk about .... Nimechanganyikiwa!
  
  Kenyan Politics
  
  I believe and HOPE that Kenyans will make an informed choice when voting. Reading the papers and watching the news has made me aware of how much crap politicians spew in the name of propaganda, yet they are doing nothing to help their constituents.
  
  Idleness surely will set Kenyans back. All you have to do is watch one of these rallies to see how much of a disease it is.
  
  Other business
  
  Where can I volunteer my time and energy? Preferably a women's shelter which is not laced with bureaucratic bullcrap. Holla at me in the comments.
  
  I am so getting Telkom Wireless. I hear nothing but good things about it. That being said, the Bonga points system is just sheer genius. I like redeeming my points all the time. There was a point where I only had 9 points left. That time my mum is about to fika 5,000 points. Now how?
  
  Who has seen the video for some dude called Cyrill? Surely... is that dude serious? Honestly.... sometimes I understand why I cant stand locals. That being said..... Roho Yaumia.... I am missing my baby. Im sorry but that song is the shit.
  
  My birthday will involve some stop overs at Soho's, Tamasha, Q's and the like... on Sato. The last time I celebrated my birthday on Kenyan soil was in 2001 so this is kinda a big deal to me. Humor me.
  

• No Excuses

  Posted: August 27, 2007, 5:04 pm by Movie Buff

  I have no excuse as to why I have not blogged.
  I have access to internet....... I just have no idea why I haven't done so.
  
  

  • Today I noticed a store called Sanford & Daughters. Cracked me up kidogo.
  • I saw "The Chrysler".... you know the one Im talking about. The one belonging to Dennis Oliech. Spotted it at Soho's on Sato. *yawn*
  • Was at Mwendas where I proceeded to try out different cocktails. Ladies and gentlemen, dont try that sh*t at home.
  • When did RRP of Viceroy become 850 shillings? Did I miss a memo or something?
  • Have you all seen the Collo song "Msichana high class"? What in the blue fuck hell is that shit? As in seriously..... the song, sucks... the video.... wah... useless jam sana. [its not on youtube yet]
    

  Now to more important issues at hand. The lady who refused to serve Raila and company at the hotel in Karatina. Surely, there is no reason why this has become an issue other than the fact that she is somehow related to Kibaki. Many have cried foul about it being an issue of tribalism and what not. But just last week I was at K1 and I saw the sign, which I have read many a time, that said "The club reserves the right of admission"..... and thats all it boils down to. Rights.......
  
  The beauty of democracy y'all!
  
  And finally, Roho Yaumia...... I am missing my baby.....

• Deposits

  Posted: August 21, 2007, 5:04 pm by Movie Buff

  So I have been all over the place and not had the opportunity to read blogs let along update mine. My apologies.
  
  Life for me has been pretty awesome sans the rain which needs to stop ASAP.
  
  Nairobi has offered me much and I am trying to offer some to it in return.
  
  Observations
  
  That Kenya Airways BillBoard on Ngong Road has GOT to go. What were they thinking?
  
  Am I the only one who enjoys the Duracoat advertisment? "My Name is Peter Marangi, and me, I know about paint" I totally love it.
  
  Kenyan politics is like a poorly written sitcom.
  
  Kenyan radio still sucks. Many will find this weird but Hot 96 plays nice music but has the worst of all presenters. Like seriously, if Hot 96 played music without any presenters the WHOLE day, it would be the best radio station. Yeah, I said it.... WHAT?
  
  I went for Kidum on Wednesdays. Milo has hyped this dude sana. It was aight. Too much lingala for me... but thats just me.
  
  Have you eaten at Peppers in Westlands? If not, make a point. The service was awesome and the food was just too delicious. Prices are pretty reasonable. I had Lamb Chops and Fries and a club soda..... Kshs. 600.
  
  Issues
  
  I was at crooked Qs on Saturday and there was a myriad of drunk people and I told whoever I was with that if I was with him and he got stupidly drunk, I would just enter my mots and leave. Does that make me a bad person? Apparently everyone else we told that to thinks I am. Oh well! Whatever! What do you guys think?
  
  

• Long Time

  Posted: August 14, 2007, 10:35 pm by Movie Buff

  My dear blog, how I have missed you.
  
  There is so much too write and no time.
  
  First:
  
  Kenyan Music:
  Im officially an Amani fan. All y'all haters fall back. I just love "Missing my baby"... Dont ask me why..... I just LOVE IT!
  Roho yaumia.... I am missing my baby... aii iii iii , aii iii iii
  
  LOVE.IT
  
  Updates
  

  • This past weekend, I went to Florida-the-one-on-top-of-the-Total. Wah!New experiences Im telling you.The sound in that joint is so tight yo! I choose not to speak about the other stuff
  • Im so happy Carni brought back Soul.
    
  • Tamasha....... sweet memories...... *sigh*
  • Nairobi has so many treasures... you just have to find them. I mean downtown Nairobi.
  • Today for the first time since I landed I tasted a Coca-cola...Why cant I stop drinking Fanta? Im pretty much obsessed with it
  • I love having my hair done every single week
  • Whats up with the cold yo?
  • BATA....... BATA..... BATA... How much do I love thee? Let me count the ways!

  Gotsa run folks..... more later.
  
  Safaricom still sucks by the way!
  Any word on Telkom Wireless?
  Anybody?

• NCC

  Posted: August 7, 2007, 6:32 pm by Movie Buff

  So the council is out to get more money from us.
  
  If you run a light, fine. If you dont let the myriad of pedestrians pass through the non-existent zebra crossing, a fine. The Nairobi City Council is on a serious money making endeavor.
  
  If I was asked, I think Mkokotenis need to have some sort of road tax imposed on them or something. Im sure I am not the only one who thinks that they sometimes are the reason for non-sensical traffic at 11 am. So, do they pay anything to be occupying the road?
  
  
  PS: I have sadly become hooked to El Cuerpo..... DAMNIT! I tried to stay away from the mexican soaps but I failed miserably!
  
  PPS: That chile who does the news on Citizen, Brenda someone... did she have to say Zi-bra Crossing yesterday? Did she? Its Ze-bra!

• Thrills

  Posted: August 3, 2007, 3:17 pm by Movie Buff

  I saw Patrick Njiru this morning on the streets of Nairobi. How old school is that????
  
  I got Didge's CD from one Milo..... and can I say.... SUPERIOR!
  Dude is definitely singing during my wedding [despite the fact that I have no potential but those are just minor details]. That CD is tight.
  As for Wyre [I got the CD too... Milo..THANKS].... the CD was ish ish. Nothing to write home about!
  
  
  GO DIDGE!
  
  
  I also watched Apocalypto [at last]...... Wah! Good Times. IF you have not watched it... make a point. Adrenaline galore...
  
  Can Transfomers fika Kenya like yesterday!
  
  Have a good weekend. Im going to shags [Can you feel the excitement!?!?!]

• More and More

  Posted: July 31, 2007, 3:00 pm by Movie Buff

  The funniest thing happened to me yesterday morning. As I was contemplating what to do with my day, I got a text message from some random number telling me that I had won Kshs. 50,000 with the Bonga Points Promotion and that I should call the number that sent the text ASAP with my Id and Account number. Now, first off, I did not know people were winning cash with the Bonga Points, second, why is Safaricom asking me to call them. With their obscene calling costs, they should be the ones calling me... and MY ACCOUNT NUMBER?
  Anyway, I decided to listen to what they had to say, after all, I really wasnt doing anything.
  So, this fool picks up and says, 'Thank you for calling Safaricom Bonga Points, how may I help you?'.... [He was good]..... then I stated that I got a text, blah blah. The dude starts telling me how they needed my account number inorder to deposit the money before 11 am.... [Come on now.... this is Kenya, .... is this nigga serious???]... so I told him Ill call him back in a few minutes......
  
  Since we are all aware that Safaricom Customer Service is non-existant......I decided to deal with this conman myself. When I called back, I asked for his full name and his employee ID number. He asked me, "what for?"... I told him that it was to verify his employment. He told me, I told you my name is Steve and if you call me back, Ill give you my employee ID number. Suffice to say that the number was not answered after that!
  
  Are there Kenyans who are so gullible that they would give out there account number JUST LIKE THAT? Surely! BE careful y'all!
  
  I would like to call out one Toyota Corolla KAN 099F. Shame on you for littering!

• The continuation

  Posted: July 26, 2007, 4:50 pm by Movie Buff

  So I called customer service [Safaricom] - Thanks Gish for the number......... and spoke to one Naomi who was far from helpful....
  
  She tells me, "When you click menu, you should see tools"... I tell her "When I click menu, I dont see the option for tools........." I wachanad with her stories, let her ramble on and today went to the customer care center and got my issues resolved......
  
  I know I have not told all you how New Jack was. Dj Adrian is the shit. It was good times. Packed like whoa but good times nonetheless.
  
  The events leading to New Jack were quite entertaining as well. I had decided that Friday to partake of Black Ice a.k.a Seng'eng'e a.k.a as panty remover [Oh dear LORD!].... so this is how my friday was:
  
  1. Verandah - 120 per bottle
  2. Nerkwo - 85 per bottle
  3. Cockpit - 120 per bottle
  4. Carnivore - 175 per bottle.
  
  By the way, a bottle of black ice goes for 65 shillings in Nakumatt.
  
  Safari Park prices are ri-damn-diculous. 350 shillings for a glass of juice.... that juice better be doing my laundry or something......
  And the food? SUCKED big time.
  It is safe to say that I will NEVER go to Safari Park especially Cafe Kigwa... AGAIN!

• HELP ME

  Posted: July 24, 2007, 6:38 pm by Movie Buff

  So how does one get in touch with Safaricom customer service?
  Calling them on 100 does not work. I have tried... even at 5.30 in the morning... the number is busy. I have been given two numbers to text to, NOTHING...
  Anybody, HELP!
  
  Thanks

• Many Rivers to Cross

  Posted: July 19, 2007, 5:19 pm by Movie Buff

  I know I am not the only one who has been a tad bit scared by them tremors. Wah! Its been crazy........ glass shaking and everything. Confess y'all.
  
  
  
  
  This song has to be haunting me..... I need to get it ASAP!
  Jimmy Cliff - Many Rivers to Cross. I hope you all enjoy it!
  
  I totally support the ban on plastic bags. I also totally support the ban on smoking.
  
  I would also love for Kenyans to be educated coz a day has yet to go by without me seeing some ignorant momofuku littering. One of these days..................... I might not be held responsible for my actions.
  
  I have become such a tea drinker... its amazing. I dont know if its the cold but I have drunk more tea the last two weeks than I have in the last one year.
  
  Can I please talk about Mexican soaps?
  Whats up with them shits?
  How can people watch it?
  I dont get it.
  Its like an obsession.
  I refuse to be sucked in..... AT ALL!
  
  New Jack anyone?

• The bitch in you

  Posted: July 17, 2007, 4:45 pm by Movie Buff

  Habit states that when I wake up, I switch on my mp3 player [which I have hooked up to some speakers] and then proceed to get ready. This morning, Ether - Nas played and I wondered whether it was too much bile and violence and cursing to be listened to so early in the morning..... but nah... it is a good diss song...... Are there any good diss songs anymore? I advocate for peace and everything but sometimes.... you just need a good diss song....
  
  Commercial/Advertisements
  There is a radio ad for Tuzo that I so detest. There is a kid play acting like he is driving a car... and then the mum says "You are a very good driver" or some shit like that and then the kid says "Just like daddy"... Call me a feminist but that shit just annoys the hell out of me.
  
  There is also a co-operative bank radio ad where like a teacher who has no concept of english is trying to teach about loan repayments. Now this ad, gives me hives... If you know what I am talking about...... ... I know you agree with me.
  
  There is a billboard on Mombasa road for SONY that says "We stand for LCD" I love this billboard. It is sooo amusing. Whoever thought up that.... is quite clever...... ha ha.. It tickles me everytime I see it.... "We stand for LCD".. clever, no?
  
  Food
  I drunk milkshake in Caffe Cream and in Dormans....... Caffe Cream won. Wah! Orgasmic experience........
  
  I also ate at Habesh the Ethiopian Restaurant in Kilimani....... Can we all just say, cheap pints??? It was good times sana.
  
  AOB
  
  I had some business in Mbagathi way and I noticed some dude driving a Suzuki Escudo plate number KAL 641T littering. SHAME. ON. YOU!
  

• Brrrrrrr

  Posted: July 12, 2007, 3:05 pm by Movie Buff

  So its marginally cold.... not as cold as B-more gets but cold nonetheless. Its quite entertaining to watch mums bundle up... Im like... "You don't know nothing yet"
  
  Is there any other song that Maina Kageni ever plays for Bob Marley other than Natural Instinct?
  Seriously... when homeboy plays another Bob Marley song other than that one, ebu holla at me. Which reminds me, the best time to listen to radio is between 10 and 12 pm on classic when they dont have a presenter.... For real yo!
  
  I ate at the Java on the corner of Koinange Street:
  
  1. The waitress was sooooo rude. I usually dont have high expectations from the wait service since I know they dont work for their tips but this mama was taking it on a whole other level.
  
  2. The hot chocolate was far from HOT
  
  3. There was a hair in my chicken pie..... and the manager had the audacity to come and suggest that maybe it came from my braids. Can you imagine that shit? Seriously!
  
  So, Im DONE with Java. Fake ass wanna-be's.
  Never will I be seen in one!
  N.E.V.E.R!
  
  PS: The radio station from the previous post was Kiss 100.30
  No one wins the lunch.
  
  New quiz coming soon

• Pole

  Posted: July 11, 2007, 7:28 pm by Movie Buff

  Im so sorry for being out of the loop.....
  Nai has kept a sister busy.
  
  Don't you hate it when you meet someone but for the life of you, you can't remember their name.... and therefore cant introduce them to whoever you are with. I kinda find it funny though!
  
  Updates
  
  Taidy's - A joint in West is pretty good. The pints are moderately priced. The service was good...... the food was ok..the music was pretty awesome.
  Now, explain to me why some dude asked the waiter to come and get my number from me. Ofcourse I said no but when I attempted to go to the bathroom, I was accosted my said man. *smh*....
  
  I braided my hair. [WHAT? Its an update]
  
  Its amazing to me that after 4 and 1/2 years, the assistant ministers have JUST realized they aint done shit! Im really disturbed by this for real!
  
  It took me four days.... yes, four days to watch Curse of the Golden Flower. I dont even know why........ but it did... and now, Im done.. and it was AWESOME. I was a tad bit dissatisified, but thats life, yeah?
  
  Let me go look for red shoes.....
  Laters!

• Random Musings

  Posted: July 4, 2007, 10:37 pm by Movie Buff

  I am an observer. More than anything... I like looking and observing and sometimes making up stories about people. But before I go there.... let me mention something I have noticed.
  
  It has been quite cold the last couple of days in Nairobo[Two to be exact]. Now, I have experienced snow and negative temperatures, but I still feel cold with the current weather and therefore you will find me wearing a jacket, a sweater.... something! YET! I see women in Nairobi wearing capris and open shoes. Now how??......
  
  Anyway, back to observations..... do you realize that you can just watch Nairobians and NOT GET bored. Seriously..... they are very interesting characters.......
  
  Mini Rant
  
  There are many flower pots around Nairobi and they have been clearly painted "Do not sit on flower pots".... and yet, you find people sitting on them. Now, how can these people be helped? What are they doing?
  
  I have also seen that people are still trashing. From what I can tell, there are bins everywhere.... I always seem to find one to use and so seeing some other random person dropping a piece of paper just unnerves the hell out of me. Why cant people just help themselves? And you will find this people complaining about something, say, the environment yet they contribute to its degradation. Nairobians, lets do better.
  
  Also, are matatu drivers another species? Do they think differently? Do they think? No offense but sometimes, the decisions they make are just too ridiculous. They can obviously see that there is no way for them to maneuver, but they would rather just block an intersection, than give way. Why? Courtesy will go a long way my dear Kenyans.
  
  End of rant
  
  Many drivers have the "Najivunia kuwa Mkenya" stickers...... reminds me of the yellow "support our troops" stickers in the states.......
  
  I was on the street that houses the Treasury building yesterday and I saw spinners..... I was sooo tickled by them... LOL... so so tickled!

• Quiz Time

  Posted: July 3, 2007, 12:51 pm by Movie Buff

  Im so sorry for doing three radio posts but I am just jazzed at how AWFUL Kenyan radio has become! I can actually say with conviction that I miss Phil Matthews!
  
  Anyway, as I was getting my hair done, I was listening to this radio station. The story was that there was a girl who had a problem. She was in love with a married man and when the man wanted to end things, she started drinking very heavily. On being asked by the presenter [who is awful] whether she was addicted to alcohol or the man, the girl said that she is addicted to the man *sigh* The man pays her bills, blah blah.... I know we have all heard this story before.
  NOWWWW... callers were asked to give advise. The first fool on the line told the girl that if the man truly loved her, he would come back and that she should take heart and whatnot. After that, I just chose to ignore the radio......
  
  Now comes the questions:
  
  1. What radio station was I listening to? [The first correct response and lunch is on me]
  2. Are people serious? Are there women out there who have lost control of their emotions? Do people not use their common sense anymore?
  3. Why would you even call and spew your shit like this?
  4. Are there women out there dating married man who SERIOUSLY believe that the man will leave their wives for them?
  
  Lord help me!
  I need to stop listening to radio.
  
  In other news, I had lunch at Master Wok in Capital Center[Mombasa Road]..... That food was AWESOME.... Prices were very resonable. The milkshake SUCKED though.... urgh........
  
  Sidebar:
  When is the blogger meetup? Archer? Anyone?

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes