Items by Guessaurus

Guessaurus

• De-Geekyfying G

  Posted: September 7, 2007, 6:19 am by Guessaurus

  I know that I refuse to accept the geeky version of this being but I am on a very ‘self-actualization’ mode that needs to be addressed.

  GA – (no I am not in Georgia (United States – LOL there is always the former USSR – don’t even get me to do history on that mess over there, but still .) I meant to say, Geeks Anonymous

  I have to admit that I am more geekified than the average ‘Wanjiku’ – (picked this up from Kenya) but heck – I need to wean myself off this electro-stuff cos, damn to damnation: who wakes up at 8 am to log on and check stuff?

  As I blog now, I have two laptops going, a landline, a cellphone, a tv and I am tuned it to all them gadgets at the same time. I do not think any sane (loosely used) human specimen should let me loose on anything that has a ‘mouse’ attached to it.

  Speaking of mice: I was cooking yesterday and a rodent ran past the fridge and scampered all over the place. Had to stop my sis and go – ‘do u guys have mice’ – and she just laughed and went ‘yep’. How rude? They shoulda introduced me to the rodenty being already. I do love me some mice – oh and rats too – seeing that the size of him dude means he ain’t no mouse in my books.

  Oh and there are some squirrels around – HEAVEN 

  Did I mention that I was ‘weird’?

  I am having a little problem with being a Brit in a Yanky ass place. Let me start by saying that them dudes at DHS needs a cuppa tea or two to loosen up their ..er… well, belts et al. Getting kicked out of an airport for being an ‘ass’ – turning out to be the interviewer instead of the interviewee gets u that – is a comic moment on my watch but I guess that is not per for the cause for them dudes. My dad woulda been proud of me. I kicked some azz  JHC (Jesus H Christ) I mean, no blasphemy on my part (being all-Catholic and all) I am the most insufferable human thing when I am bored, tired, jetlagged, hungry, thirsty (I will do ANYTHING for water) and impatient. I have a patience threshold of about -21 (yes, that was a minus sign before the 21). I have to admit that I would be speaking to the most ‘important’ (seeing that is relative) human being (read: thing) in the world and If I had to Q (yes, with the ue ue  ) (American for line – do not even get me into dissecting the lack of logic behind that ‘line’) and if I was impatient, you can go and toss your ass into the Potomac and drown for all I care, I just wanna get to the other side and find someone with a bed, and shower, and .. well, nice things to say to I 

  Is I being an ass?

  (Do not answer that)

  Excuse I

• Earth Quake

  Posted: July 17, 2007, 8:51 pm by Guessaurus

  I know all n sundry have heard about this but I was a bit on the side about this until today. Read about it, heard it on TV but easily ignored it as you would cos it certainly seemed to be far off (although I am in Nairobi, D’oh) but still

  Anyway I am hanging around reading on my bed and my best friend, he being of the canine persuasion starts howling. I speak to him gently saying that I am gonna get him some chow and other noises you make to animals to get him to stop making a racket. He doesn’t stop and then my bed starts shaking - that was quite something. It didn’t register in my not quite fast brain as an earthquake but heck - after ten seconds I grinned like a Cheshire cat that got the cream.
  Animals know when danger is lurking long before it gets there, and dude here is no exception. We love him, we do - although all he does is eat and shit.

  See, I am all for strange stuff. And a shaking house, be it fraught with danger, is strange in a kinda mysterious way. I know that earthquakes are not fun, I know that at some point I shoulda gone under the staircase or something, but all I was asking for was ‘again’. Shoot me if you see me walking down the street, I deserve it

  Anyway when all is said and done, I thought it was quite ..er… let me rephrase, I dont think it was that bad (before someone, namely Ms K, comes over and kicks my pert behind). I do hope no one gets hurt.

  Can I just enjoy a moving earth for a minute or two?
  In any case it was just my first time feeling the earth move beneath me (literally, I might add), even though it was a storey up…

  On second thoughts, thinking about my house collapsing in an earthquake doesn’t sound that funny. Thomas (ze dog) and I need to do the ‘drill’, in case.

  (Running off to find a hiding place for the next time round, or I may be better off hanging out with Thomas cos he seems more tuned in to the earth than I am)

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes