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• Death Of Democracy In Africa

  Posted: July 21, 2008, 6:05 pm by kalamari

  Welcome Coalition Governments
  
  I suppose some will presume that anyone opposed to the current trend in African elections (formation of GNUs) is a person who would rather see blood spilt. Morgan Tsvangirai has termed his agreement to begin peace talks with Mugabe as historic. This is a great opportunity for peace and possible continuance of governance in Zimbabwe. All Kenyans acting prudently must by now know what is just about to happen; Morgan will become prime minister and commandeer half of the cabinet.
  
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  In Kumekucha today Tuesday July 22nd: Will those awful stretch marks mess up your relationship?
  Small business tips: Technique to grow your money quickly
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  While it is true that GNUs did not originate in Kenya, we must still decorate Kibaki for being the father of all modern day African coalitions. His reluctance to change and ability to silence democracy has greatly energized this new phenomena. It is indeed his playbook that will be studied and repeated throughout the continent. Going forward, the order of the day is precisely coalition governments.
  
  Yes folks, the short-lived African political democracy experiments are over and dead. Oh how industrious we are; we have taken democracy with all it's time tested facets of fairness and liberty, added our own greed and thievery and consequently creating our very own political system i.e. coalition governance. In this type of governance, the people vote and all opposing sides win. It does not matter if one gets 10%, you can still be Vice President. While, as Mugabe aptly puts it, the incumbent must always remain President, the actual winner becomes Prime Minister.
  
  Outside of the impending SA elections and under the current developments, I do not foresee any other African incumbent president accepting genuine defeat at the ballot. It's over folks.
  
  That said, there's not much wrong with our new system. In the case of Zimbabwe, loss of life has been greatly reduced and peace will indeed prevail. In the Kenyan version, the citizens are appeased for the most part. We still have a long way to go but most of the displaced are back in their homes while the assaulters are in jail and will face the law. We have set up commissions to investigate the election, violence etc. So it's all good.. right? Peace has returned and as we have seen with the Grand Regency, business is back to normal. We will wait until the next election to perpetuate thorny issues like constitutions, majimbo, land reforms etc. What do we care right now when we can sleep at night without the fear of the arsonists.
  
  Really folks, there's a lot of things wrong with western democracy. I mean, the vote count, even in the USA, is not usually accurate. Trying to instill such, possibly flawed, principles into the African way of life is prone to disaster. So why not change the constitution to condone coalition governments going forward.

• Brutal Sexual Assault: Is This What The Kenya Police Is All About?

  Posted: July 21, 2008, 2:27 pm by chris

  Kumekucha Exclusive
  
  Police recently sexually assaulted some prominent female members of the civil society who were protesting corruption in the country. I publish a copy of an email circulated by one of them giving details of the crazy assault....
  
  
  Sorry I have been out of the office for a couple of days . The last couple of days have been a nightmare for me and several other civil rights activists. We were arrested in a most brutal manner after police stormed the hotel where we were preparing to hold demonstrations over Grand Corruption ( Sale of Nairobi's Grand Regency Hotel, a property in receivership and therefore owned by the Kenyan people, by a cartel led by the Finance Minister, Amos Kimunya. Kimunya has since resigned in disgrace over the scandal) .
  
  On Tuesday, 8th July, when they arrested seven of us, the police also sexually violated and harrased me and a male colleague. One senior officer had the audacity to put his hand inside my trousers, fondle my private parts and my breasts. All this while the rest were busy brutalising us.
  
  Upon arrival at the police station, my colleagues sought to know from the senior police officer why he had sexually assaulted me. Without warning, this police officer, who we have since learned was the deputy officer commanding the Division ( very senior position) grabbed a police batton from one of the junior officers and set upon us in a most vicious manner. Other officers joined in, hitting, kicking and insulting us. It did not matter that some of us were
  already bleeding.
  
  We were later taken to court , charged with participating in an illegal assembly (never mind that we were inside a hotel and it was the police who stormed in) , and released on bail. The police also refused to record our complaint over the violations at the police station.
  
  We need friends of human rights, and friends of Kenya, at home and abroad, to do all you can in your various stations and networks to demand accountability from our government. The kind of police brutality and other forms of impunity that are evident in Kenya are alarming. Not only do they threaten the democratic spaces that we fought so hard to create. They are also, in my opinion, an early warning sign of things to come, and the imminent breakdown of law and order.
  
  We shall circulate a more comprehensive report with photos for your further action."

• Special Investigative Report: Car Stealing Racket In Nairobi

  Posted: July 21, 2008, 10:54 am by chris

  There's a new wave of alarming vehicle thefts sweeping across Kenya which no media outlet is keen to talk about. I’ve lost three vehicles since January and now understand how the scandal is executed. I have decided to share this with my fellow Kenyans through Kumekucha. But thanks God after the stress, pain, lost income, time and plenty of expenses, I recovered my cars.
  
  

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  Also in Kumekucha today: How to say, "I love you" and not cause them to bolt

  Small Business tips: Want to make money back home in Kenya?
  

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  The alarming crime mostly targets car hire firms and middle ranking SUV's commonly known as

  4x4's in Kenya which are parked in public car parks. What is shocking is that some police officers are believed to be highly involved with criminal rings as I shall explain later. A police officer based around Nairobi openly told me that some officers would not like to see this new crime go away any time soon as profits being made from the illegal syndicate are just mind blowing.

  Before striking at the once booming car hire industry, taxis and parking lots, sharp minded members of the criminal underworld first arm themselves with fake IDs which are mostly being forged in River Road and sprawling Eastleigh areas of Nairobi. The fake documents look so real that they can even fool hawk eyed police officers and attendants in car hire offices simply have no chance in detecting the fake documents which mostly involve ID cards and Kenya's pathetic driving license which is written in plain ink. What is shocking is that some wanted criminals on the lose are known to use their original documents to secure vehicles. This is done with great ease since car hire firms don't coordinate in their profession in detecting crooks. They are just scattered allover town with some operating from street corners and using cyber cafes to photocopy the hirer’s particulars.

  Once the criminal elements secure a vehicle for about 2 weeks and pay the charges, they go straight to KRA offices in Times Tower and conduct a search whereby you just pay Ksh 500 and present the number plates of the vehicle you want to obtain a copy of records for. This search basically produces the details of the car's owner like names and address plus important details of the vehicle like chassis number and whether duty is paid. If the details show that a vehicle is attached to a bank loan, it’s a hard sell and is dropped immediately. Once the crooks have obtained those details, they quickly contact their sources and production of the fake log book commences.

  The fake logbook looks so real that even the best experts are having difficulty in telling the difference. A senior officer based in the city actually told me he prefers the old logbook which was phased out as it was harder to forge. With the car owner's name, a fake ID and Pin numbers are processed using fake digits and there's no way of verifying whether those numbers are real or fake. Armed with these documents, the conmen hit the road looking for buyers in places like car bazaars, brokers or placing a bait Ad in the newspapers. They always get a buyer quickly since they sell the vehicle cheaper than market rates and always give sympathetic excuses like “they need to settle a medical bill for their kids.,” Criminals are also known to target private homes, copy your number plates, make the fake documents and keep them ready and then when time is ripe, strike at night and by morning your vehicle has been driven all the way to Arusha!

  When the car hire contract expires, the hire company has no way of getting hold of the 'hirer' since mobile phone numbers can be changed daily without any questions being asked. In fact you can even buy a thousand mobile sim cards all with different numbers without any question being asked. So the vehicle is now stolen, sold or even disposed to secure a loan from back street money lenders popularly known as 'shylocks.' If the vehicle is fitted with a car tracker, then it can be recovered and taken to the nearest police station, leaving the duped buyer in shock of his life. Some police officers are known to intimidate the conned buyer by telling them they face charges of handling stolen vehicles and being in possession of forged documents! Many conned buyers now have to be hit again when police demand a bribe to set them free.

  Releasing the car to its original owner is not easy until they can produce “kitu kidogo” to the officers. What is shocking many people however is that in some cases once they sell the car illegally, some crooks are known to contact certain police stations where they have their protectors and tip them about the buyer’s location and contacts! It's also believed that some crooks take a certain percentage to their protectors to enable them 'lose' some current or future files with their cases.

  As we can see, crooks are exploiting the searc' system at Times Tower where no questions are asked to anyone who wants a copy of records. Also our weak telephony system is being exploited in obtaining new lines without any form of checks. Car Tracking firms which are mostly owned by politically well connected families are also being blamed due to their exorbitant prices which scare off many Kenyan motorists. Gullible auto buyers who are so many should slow down when they see a hot offer. If you come across an Ad asking for ‘cars wanted for hire’ and claiming to pay up to 40k, please think twice. Does the hire firm have an office? How long have they been in that office? Can they refer you to some of their clients?

  If the offer is too good to be true, then it probably is. I would advise they take any documents being presented as original to Times Tower or any specialist auto dealers for verification. A well known crook that is based in Ngara area is known to steal up to 10 cars per week with impunity. His favourite snatch points include parking lots and car hire firms and he's known to steal a car and sell it in just less than 3 days! Something surely needs to be done but so far, the crime goes on untamed. Shock! Shock! Auto dealers are now being caught up in this scam. Some are selling stolen cars with fake documents and if you are conned, the legal redress can take ages till kingdom come if the file doesn’t disappear! Before you buy any vehicle in Kenya, think thrice!

  
  

  (Investigations carried out by raw notes subscriber who fell victim three times!!)
  

• Breaking News: Pumwani, Aquinas And Lenana Now Join List of Striking Schools

  Posted: July 21, 2008, 5:06 am by chris

  School strikes continue to sweep right across the country.
  
  In the last 24 hours more schools have joined the growing list of schools that have gone on strike. The latest are Pumwani, Aquinas and Lenana High school. As I was writing this post there were unconfirmed reports that two more Nairobi schools have also gone on strike this morning.
  
  At Lenana it is reported that fourth formers are continuing with their mocks even as the rest of the school is on strike.
  
  We at Kumekucha are doing a deep incisive piece exploring some of the possible reasons that may have caused this unprecedented crisis.

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes