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• Divorce Before Marriage

  Posted: April 7, 2008, 8:37 pm by Taabu

  It was bound to happen sooner than later. The frenzy of the political gongs all beckoned the present deadlock. You cannot beat Kibaki at his own game. He started it by duping assaulting all Kenyan voters so trashing deals with a party is no big deal that only demands a negligible trace of deception.
  
  Election theft is an irreversible vice and you only sustain it with equally fraudulent antics. Damn the national consequences. Well, it is not that easy as pedestrian analysis may imply. The law only becomes an ass when selectively applied to further sectarian interests. The same law being abused not will be reverted to when the boot switches to the other foot.
  
  The present Kenyan constitution only recognizes a coalition government with SPECIFIC composition. You can twist that all the mush you fancy but no running away from that unpleasant truth. The accord clearly spells it out that ODM and PNU are to FORM and NOT JOIN a coalition government. The simple four-lettered word FORM cannot be replaced with join. The Janjaweed president can ride on deception but the destination is guaranteed not to be anywhere near being pleasant.
  
  JANJAWEED president
  There is no monopoly of dirty tricks. Kibaki stole the elections and couldn’t run away with it. Nothing has changed to have him defraud Kenyans of peace while subjecting them to permanent tension thanks to his incompetence and failure to reign on his own ministers who have seen a weak link they are gleefully exploiting at the peril of all Kenyans.
  
  Annan and his team of mediators are not fools to have chosen the word portfolio to beautify the accord signed on February 28. They meant every letter of the word and rapping it to its irrelevant derivatives including fortyfolio and forty thieves won’t wash. No amount of bravado and ego messaging with state resources can sustain an illegitimate regime given an electorate that is singularly determined to reclaim their right.
  
  You CANNOT rule an unwilling population. Raw force may temporarily subdue their physique but that only succeeds in firing their spirit. The THIEF-IN-CHIEF cannot fool Kenyans and the whole world. His apologists can continue harping and yapping all the much they wish in sanitizing his evil deeds but it all boils down to enjoying the pleasures of political auto-eroticism.
  
  Only in Kenya do subordinates have the balls to dare hold the president hostage. And only here do you find a president serially lying to his people with a straight face bereft of any rumour of remorse. Well, lying is a vice that Kibaki has effortlessly turned into his middle name. Kenya is not for sale and Kibaki will never sell it neither her citizens. Time of reckoning is nigh. Whatever goes round eventually comes around. Kibaki is running on political empty.

• Breaking News: Kenyans Prepare For The Worst As Talks Over Cabinet Collapse

  Posted: April 7, 2008, 1:59 pm by chris

  The talks over the grand coalition cabinet have collapsed.
  
  A short while ago the two principals held separate press conferences accusing each other.
  
  To cut to the chase it was obvious who was lying. Extremely obvious.
  
  Raila Odinga read a lengthy statement complete with dates and details of how the negotiations have proceeded thus far up to the current deadlock. What he said rang true. After his statement he then answered questions from the press. This was in sharp contrast to President Kibaki's shifty eyes as he read his statement. He almost looked embarrassed. He then refused to answer any questions from the press. nstead he consulted briefly with Internal security minister George Saitoti and Vice prsident Kalonzo Musyoka before getting into his limousine and leaving. Although Saitoti has been the emissary between Raila and Kibaki in negotiations over the last few days, I believe that President Kibaki thinks he is ready this time for any eventuality. In fact the president has been planning a long time for such an eventuality as this when tensions rise in the country and violence threatens once again. As you read this, that is exactly where Kenya is tonight.
  
  Raila says that one of the main stumbling blocks towards progress is the fact that PNU believe that the constitution gives the president sweeping powers that supersede anything that may have been legislated from the Anan talks.
  
  Another obvious pointer to who is to blame for the collapse of the negotiations between PNU and ODM over the cabinet appointments can clearly be seen from the proposed PNU list. The party, in contravention of the new law (yes, that list breaks the law) want to keep all the powerful ministries and give ODM the meaningless portfolios like Nairobi affairs. Can you imagine PNU hanging on even to the nely proposed ministry of cabinet affairs?
  
  I will be giving you updates on this post as I continue to gather information from various insider sources on both sides of the political divide. Please stay with me for the next 3 hours or so.
  
  
  Final Update
  This circus is getting very interesting. ODM declined an invitation by KTN to be interviewed live during their 9 pm news. PNU accepted and sent in Local government minister Uhuru Kenyatta who cleverly dodged all questions by repeating the mantra that the appointment of the cabinet is the sole prerogative of the president. He then introduced the point that ODM wanted the entire civil service split along party lines. Actually if truth be told he sounded quite hallow and did not add any value to the news item for KTN viewers. Little wonder that in the SMS comments at the end of the news, one viewer reminded the president that he serves at the pleasure of the Kenyan people.
  
  The truth is that the PNU argument is thin and there is too much "evidence" all over the place pointing to where the problem really is, including the PNU list that attempts to distribute the ministries. It is actually laughable because PNU retains all the powerful key ministries. Some portfolio balance.
  
  ODM on the other hand has all the documentation to prove their case including correspondence and documentary evidence of the reversal of PNU's position between Thursday and Saturday morning when their letter with brand new cabinet positions arrived at ODM headquarters.
  
  PNU have nothing but allegations to prove their side of the story. Seems like ODM were a little ahead of the game here.
  
  Sadly, calling this a game is really insensitive and off the mark because there are valuable Kenyan lives at stake here. I just have received a report from one of my sources on the ground that tensions were very high over the weekend in Naivasha. You can imagine what the situation is now after the collapse of the cabinet talks.
  
  But the really scary thing here is that the government side seems to be a little too pleased for comfort. What this latest development means is that it will be business as usual for the Kibaki administration. They are already running government and will continue to do so with or without ODM. This is classic example of where the law is being broken with impunity when it suits the government. And yet when it favors them they will always fall back on the same law. In other words the law in Kenya is toilet paper to those in power. Valuable when you go into that small room but you quickly use, dumb and flash down the toilet.
  
  I would love at this point to read some a comment from those who have already applied for Safaricom shares like Proud Kikuyu Woman (PKW) and others. This is because the current situation does not augur well for the stability of the nation over the next few weeks and months.
  
  The big question Kenyans across the political divide need to ask themselves now is what next?
  
  According to me we have 3 simple options;
  
  1. Fresh general elections as soon as possible.
  
  2. Secession. Republic of Kenya and Republic of Mount Kenya.
  
  3. Chaos.
  
  I leave you dear readers to chew on that.
  
  God have mercy on Kenya.

• Just In Case

  Posted: April 7, 2008, 1:25 pm by kalamari

  Folks, today I have some pertinent questions. Pertinent questions my brothers and sisters, pertinent questions.
  
  When Raila meets Kibaki for one of those one-on-one closed door affairs, are both men thoroughly checked for firearms and other assorted miniature weaponry or cutting edge poisons (the kind that can be transmitted via a handshake)? Is the element of trust between these two men stronger than their obvious devious desires to see each other six feet under?
  
  What would happen if lets say, one of these fellows suffered a big-bang version of a heart attack behind those closed doors? Will the other scream for help or offer CPR....or will he wait for a few 'important minutes' to pass by before alerting emergency authorities? Based on the deep political, tribal, economic and social divisions in Kenya today, is anyone prepared for that pricey state funeral? You know, the type where the casket is pulled by well groomed horses. What happens to Kenya in that aftermath?
  
  The funny thing with death is that it has been known to sometimes unite broken families. In grief and robbed of a clear future, orphans have been known to burry the hatchet in preparation to facing the world in formidable unity. Are Kenyans ready for such an eventuality?...just in case i.e. Have we invested so much in these two people that we cannot see a future without them? How many of you still believe that Kenya will never be the same again? Some of us cannot wait to see Ruto receive a delivery of hot lead in the head while some are literarily having wet dreams on thoughts of Kibaki burning at the fiery stake. Are we honestly this intolerant? So Martha Karua cannot attend the burial of Ruto's dad? Yaani this thing is personal, eh!
  
  Back to death and its delivery of constant surprises. Now that Mellitus Mugabe Were's death has, at the moment, lost political significance......just wait until the by-election date is announced, are we to take it that going forward, we should judge one's political power by the manner which news of his/her death is received? When Oyugi died, mourners were performing acrobatic somersaults while in tears within his palatial compound. Was he a great leader? When Ouko was killed, many lives followed him to the grave. Was that the weight of his clout? When JM went into perpetual hiatus, where was the public outrage? Was his death 'understandable'? What of Dedan Kimathi and the mystery of the truly nondescript headstone. If his bones are truly important to the history of this country, can the 'Kenya DNA office' do some justice? The reality is that there's a bunch of Kenyans who are ready to voluntarily perform the old Egyptian death ritual. You do remember that Pharaohs were typically buried alongside their entire living household.....including the sheep and camels.
  
  What I'm trying to say is simply this; hope for the best but prepare for the worst. Some of us are anxiously awaiting an opportunity to publicly display our deranged capabilities/personalities. Yes folks, to some of you, the worst headline news of the century will be the one that announces a cabinet line up where either PNU or ODM is seen as having conceded too much. Well, there's exactly two possible 'worser' headlines.

• Get This Over and Done With

  Posted: April 7, 2008, 11:26 am by ritch

  
  P.S. I agree with Sam Okello when he says (in his post:Horror That Was Planned For Kenya), "What I've realised, by reading this twenty five-page dossier, is that we are where we are purely by divine intervention. The Lord used..." I agree with you Bro with the whole of my being. Rarely do you see countries rising up so fast from the mire of near-genocide.
  
  It has taken the Lord's hand for us to be where we are. But, it seems, some of the people in the powers-that-be are taking this for granted.
  
  This country needs people of integrity and not people who will pay lip service to matters of national import.
  
  Jameni (please) spare us the pain of reliving the past. Get this thing over and done with...

• Cabinet Anxiety: Fencesitters Not Decided

  Posted: April 7, 2008, 10:49 am by Phil

  Despite a joint statement issued by PPS yesterday to the effect that discussions between Raila Odinga as leader of ODM and Mwai Kibaki of PNU and possibly conclude successfully and name a grand coalition, it is now past 16h00 heading towards the end of the day and the two have not met.
  
  During the day, a PNU parliamentary group meeting was called off without notice. Initially Kibaki was to chair this meeting at KICC, then PNU MPs received text messages saying the Vice President would chair the meeting then another text came in announcing the meeting had been called off indefinitely. The party is reportedly experiencing vicious power struggle that has resulted in deep divisions to the point that the mediations talks have had to be called off for lack of quorum.
  
  Meanwhile at Pentagon House, ODM top brass met early today and sent unequivocal letter in which ODM said it would make no further concessions and that Kibaki should accept what was already agreed between him and Raila on Thursday last week. At the time of posting this, ODM leaders are still holed up at their Pentagon House, in anticipation of that important phone call that will announce PNU’s decision on cabinet portfolio .
  
  As the president and his part cabinet continue to wait for Raila Odinga, the anxiety building countrywide. The current cabinet is also running the risk of being challenged in court because it is unconstitutional. In reality, any official business conducted by this government now and in the recent past is legally null and void. Meanwhile state house continues to embarrass itself when issuing public promises on the issue of cabinet when it knows the cabinet will only be formed upon the approval of Raila Odinga. It is no longer business as usual, Sir!
  
  The same table and VIP seats that were used by Raila and Kibaki while signing the Annan Peace Accord on 28th February 2008 were yesterday carried towards the entrance steps at Harambee House in the hope that ODM would accept whatever portfolios Kibaki would throw at them. The same furniture has been seen being brought forward today and it remains to be seen whether Raila and Kibaki will use them.
  
  It could only mean one thing: Raila will only come to Harambee House when Kibaki is ready to accept ODM preconditions for the cabinet portfolio balance. And my early prediction is that cabinet will be announced later today and that will be the beginning of a big fall-out in that party calling itself PNU.

• Horror That Was Planned For Kenya...

  Posted: April 7, 2008, 7:52 am by chris

  ...And why we must retreat
  
  Guest Post By Sam Okello
  
  Wananchi Watukufu,
  
  Last week I said there comes a time when a weary nation must say enough is enough. I was wrong. I was because last night someone dropped off a dossier at my door that has given me pause. The roadmap to what the enemies of Kenya planned to do immediately after the elections reads like a horror novel. There are men and women around President Kibaki who were not going to let the Hon. Odinga became president at any cost. For these peolpe, if Kenya was going to burn, to be wiped off the face of this earth, that was a small price to pay. Since that darkest month in Kenya, when over a thousand of our fellow countrymen lost their lives, you've seen these same people huggle and hold the nation at ransom till they can get certain ministries. For them politics is about enriching themselves and amassing power, never about developing the nation. They see politics as a zero-sum game where evil is rewarded and self-control is a weakness. A time is coming when these people must be made to pay for their sins. But that time is not now. After reading this dossier over and over, it is easy for me to despair. Indeed, it makes me fearful for the future. But a time like this calls for wisdom and temperance. We are dealing with men and women who have decided that they have nothing to lose. Men and women who fear a change of guard because of the crimes they committed in the past. Men and women who see their only chance of escaping trial at the Hague or in Kenya only if they hang on to power at any cost. What we must realise is that people of this ilk don't think rationally. In fact, that's why they sign off on agreements in the morning and gladly walk away in the evening. Now, there is a good reason why the Hon. Odinga has chosen engage these people. I didn't know it until I read this dossier last night, and several times today. What I want to tell my fellow countrymen is this: Whatever and wherever the Hon. Odinga goes at this hour, let's follow him. The man is walking with us through a very dark tunnel. In the fullness of time I will personally reveal the devilish schemes and the murderous plans these bloodthirsty hounds had for Kenyans, and why you literally saw the Hon. Odinga look like a man on the verge of tears back in January. The weight of an entire nation was on his shoulders. When the story of January and February 2008 is written, we will all look back and see in the Hon Odinga and the Pentagon a people who stayed awake at night so we could sleep, people who cried in their bedrooms so that the rest of us didn't have to wipe our tears, men and a brave woman who left their homes in the morning knowing full well it might be the last time they kissed their spouse goodbye, heroes who knew that by looking weak they were keeping the nation from walking into the jaws of callous bloodsuckers. Yes, the number of ministries is high. And yes, the PNU people have plotted to grab the prime ones. But this is not the time to fight these people. That would be the wrong fight. It would be a fight that leads our people straight into a trap. What I've realised, by reading this twenty five-page dossier, is that we are where we are purely by divine intervention. The Lord used the Hon Odinga and the Hon Kofi Annan to save our nation. So, fellow Kenyans, whatever the Hon. Odinga finds neccesary to do to steer the nation through the stormy seas at this dark hour, I call on his supporters to back him to the hilt. The wise know when to retreat. The time for a knockout punch is just months away! For Love of Country.
  
  Who is listening in to your cell phone conversations, Kenyans?
  
  Naomi Campbell allegedly spat at policeman and could get 6 months in jail if found guilty
  
  Paper Bag (juala) causes young girl a serious infection, guess how it got inside her...

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes