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Proposed Ministry to Regulate Domo
Posted: March 26, 2008, 7:22 pm by Taabu
Being citizens of a country topping the premier league table of political absurdity we hereby demand a full cabinet minister in charge on NATIONAL DOMO. Readers and bloggers of Kumekucha would better have their last days before their lips and fingers are restrained. We also demand that this innovative venture be actualized with equal portfolio weight in split upper and lower lips.
Before we get distracted to discussing less important sideshows like infrastructure, we must dispense with more weighty matters that appertains to personal growth. We don't eat roads. We must have our national eyes singularly trained on ventures that guarantee speedy returns. The Saficom IPO is upon us and such luck never smiles at your national door twice. The noise makers demanding fidelity to Kenya's privatization act have nothing better to do and they would be better off making hand-written copied of the bible or dictionary.
Indivisible portfolio
Equal and equitable representation is the spice with with democracy is eaten. We demand 210 ministries that will see a minister for every 160,000 Kenyans. We can afford folks. Kenyans are hard working people who have unrivalled knack for results. The collective selective amnesia serves us just right. All the textbook slogans of staying the course never brings food to any table. We must not be denied the beauty and rewards of shortermism.
We have the experience and reputation to milk ourselves dry. There is no need to import a FOREIGN hand to help manufacturer our local cabinet. The fire was extinguished exactly a month a go today and we have no smell of heat anywhere within our borders. Kwani huyo Annan ni nani? Let him enjoy his retirement in peace in Geneva. Please don't disturb Kenya's present serenity and national peace. We top-up generously and all you need is the right tongue. Na kazi iendelee.. -
Hope at the End of the Dark Tunnel for Zimbabwe?
Posted: March 26, 2008, 10:09 am by ritch
Zimbabweans go to the polls this weekend amid so much pressure. What with soaring commodity prices and inflation past the 100,000% mark and still 'heating up'.
President Mugabe called for the reduction of commodity prices yesterday but least can be done about it, as it were. One only wonders why politicians think that the electorate are dunder heads and can not understand what is happening.
We hope that the three contestants for the presidential seat have the interests of the country at heart. If they don't, then the country is headed for EVEN harder times.
Mr Mugabe
Dr Simba Makoni
Mr Morgan Tsvangirai
ODM Statement on Controversial Safaricom IPO
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Is PNU Way Too Desperate For The Safaricom IPO?
Posted: March 26, 2008, 7:46 am by chris
ODM Statement on Controversial Safaricom IPO
The reaction of government hardliners to the dust ODM has kicked up concerning the Safaricom IPO is really fascinating. As I write this, I am still gaping in wonder.Prof Peter Anyang Nyong'o: Why he causes so much fear within PNU
I had braced myself to see the entire PNU force coming out with both guns blazing. Woi! Nothing of the sort has happened as I write this. Instead what we have seen is a very polite and humble Amos Kimunya speaking with great restraint and respect to the PM emphasizing to the press that he did speak to Raila Odinga about the IPO and Raila Odinga indeed supported it, just last week. The truth is that neither Raila Odinga nor the ODM are on record has having denied Amos Kimunya’s well publicized statement at the time to the effect that they had met and discussed the IPO with the ODM leader. In fact Kimunya added a rider, to the effect that Hon Raila wanted to purchase the shares on the spot, if it were possible. That silence to Kimunya’s significant utterances must now be interpreted as accent on the side of Raila Odinga and ODM. Let us be serious here, folks. Please.
Interestingly in reply to one question today Kimunya said that ODM should be considered separately to the Prime Minister designate. Implying that Raila Odinga still supports the controversial Safaricom IPO.
The other government bureaucrats quickly fell on this administrations favorite “whipping boy.” They say, the law gives them no power to halt an IPO in progress. That one really made me laugh. I wondered why the same law does not stop the same government from banning matatus from the Central Business district and causing so much chaos as well as suffering to ordinary Kenyans as they blunder around for a solution. Can you imagine Uhuru Kenyatta saying; “The law does not allow me to stop any vehicle from coming into the CBD”? Interestingly, the latest drama in this CBD circus is the fact that although buses are supposed to ferry people from Muthurwa to town it takes ages because Nairobi still has a serious congestion problem in the mornings even without the Matatus. Could it be those multi-vehicle families including that of the Minsiter of local governments? But I digress. Oh I forgot, all his kids go to school abroad (what happened to the Visa ban?)
PNU are saying that they have no way of stopping the IPO from happening even if they wanted to and whose fault is it? Why, the law of course!!
So why is it that that I sense desperation here? Why is it that I even sense fear? Fear that the lucrative (for a few) IPO may actually be halted. Nay I sense panic. And why, I pray to ask, has this Safaricom IPO been speeded up at such breakneck speed? Approvals and hurdles have been cleared in record time and it is scheduled to launch this Friday.
This thing reminds me of my days as an employee when people in the office used to stop everything to help speed up the accounts department and the endless procedures so that the salary cheques could be send out early. This is further evidence even for those who have a terrible cold and have lost their sence of smell, that there is a terrible odor coming out of this Safaricom IPO. All Kenyans of goodwill should stay clear of the thing. Anybody who cares about Kenya and fighting corruption and the fat cats must have nothing to do with that demonic, devilish IPO. And those who end up handling the prospectus on Friday should make sure they wash their hands thoroughly after that. With soap. This thing which has caused ODM to tell lies in broad daylight… na bado. Remember Goldenberg and how it destroyed so many reputations? Just watch what happens with this Safaricom IPO.
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Fish cakes
Alas a fish cake.
Yet more fish cakes
Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.
The end of the fish cakes
