Wilde Yearnings

• Honest Scrap! Me! Me!

  Posted: April 27, 2009, 3:10 pm by Wildeyearnings

  
  Thanks to Tamaku and Pater Nostra, I''ve been given the absolutely awesome honour of accepting the Honest Scrap Award.
  
  Apparently this award is given annually to the sexiest, most good-looking blogger. I accept it with humility and a sense of entitlement because after all...who else could have won it? ;) (Well the citation really reads “This award is bestowed upon a fellow blogger whose blog’s content or design is, in the giver’s opinion, brilliant.” But we'll pretend they meant what I wrote)
  
  To accept the award I have to list 10 honest things about me. Here goes:
  
  

  10. I’ve learnt that kids tv or the Disney channel is so much more entertaining with alcohol inside you.
  
  9. The first time I had sex with a man I was so emotional I cried… for a whole hour. Poor guy thought I was high on drugs and I was so embarrassed I went along with it. ( Y’all can stop laughing now…move along…)
  
  8. I finally grew about 4 hairs on my chin when I was 23.
  
  7. I’m a slob- I trim my toe-nails in the lounge, I leave pizza cartons in the TV den and my dog sometimes sleeps on my bed ;but the interior of my car is disinfected regularly and cleaner than an operating theatre in a hospital. Priorities, priorities…
  
  6. My little sister is trying to grow dreadlocks and this effort provides me with unending comic relief each evening from work. I am easily amused.
  
  5. My weirdest sexual encounter was a guy who took me home, told me to dress up in a lycra jogging suit and dance to George Micheal’s ‘Wake me up before you go-go’…. and then sent me home high, dry and unfulfilled. But he apparently got off from my dancing….sigh…the things I do for the good of man.
  
  4. Last night I was chopping onions. So what do I decide to do when my eyes start watering? Wipe them with my hands! Einstein, that’s me.
  
  3. I find listing 10 things about me so hard! ( I know I’ m cheating a bit here…)
  
  2. I’m fascinated with body hair on men- arm hair, chest hair, facial stubble, back hair ( I know!), thigh hair, the v-trail leading down to the groin ( I need a moment over here)…but I cannot stand moustaches (on men or women). I’m the king of contradiction.
  
  1. I speak in a really weird accent- its half British public school accent, quarter Nairobi accent (interspersed liberally with haiya, woiye, manze and kwani) and quarter Coasterian accent (as a result of growing up along Kenya’s coastal region). But my Swahili is spoken like a true native- not the Nairobi watu-wa-bara type but the original pwani accent. I speak 5 languages and I’m fluent in three of these.

  
  
  All readers, consider yourselves awarded and feel free to list 10 awesomely honest things about you.

• OUT in the open

  Posted: April 24, 2009, 5:06 pm by Wildeyearnings

  
  Last weekend was one of the most enjoyable times I've had in a while.
  
  I attended a party that one of my friend's was having, then enjoyed the rugby on Saturday afternoon- the Bamburi super 14's finals. It was, as is every sport event in Kenya, electric. Nairobi folk sure know how to have a good time.
  
  At the rugby, a young man comes up to me and asks me if I am the author of a gay Kenyan blog- Wildeyearnings. I think the look of shock on my face was answer enough. He then assured me that he was gay too and just thought that the 'pointy*-looking guy sitting there surrounded by cans of beer fit the description of me on my blog!'
  
  LOL @ this description of me which is sadly quite true- the beer part :)
  
  (* Pointy = Kenyan slang to describe mixed race individuals. Pointy derives from the phrase point five i.e you're half of each race or 0.5 (zero point five) of the whole)
  
  It was nice to meet him- and he was so polite too. We didn't exchange names unfortunately or have time for further conversation- being surrounded by half-drunk chanting rugby fans is generally not conducive to meaningful conversation - so this post is a shout-out to the blog reader, fellow rugby fan and one of the politest gentlemen I've met in a while!
  
  So yes, next time you see someone, not quite one-colour, sitting with bottles of that awesome brew and cursing at the rugby referree. come say hi!
  
  Lovely weekend folks.

• Gays of our Lives

  Posted: April 15, 2009, 6:07 pm by Wildeyearnings

  I don't watch much tv outside of sports. DSTV (a digital tv service available in most African countries) has about 9 sports channels dedicated to sports 24 hours a day, making this one of the greatest things that ever happened to me. :)
  
  Well anyway, my attention was drawn by my sister to a local Kenyan sitcom/soap called Wash n Set which apparently features a gay characterin a minor role. The sitcom is based on the antics in a Nairobi hairdressing parlour so I suppose having a gay character, was inevitable. I watched this show...and well... no comment on the show itself ;). However I was rather tickled to see an extremely flamboyantly acting young man in the show. No one ever refers to his sexuality though but there are several innuendos/nuances.
  
  Fascinating stuff! To have a gay character (even if its never actually referred to) on a local Kenyan TV channel? You'd think this would invoke shock, froth and outrage from the ultra conservative Kenyan religious junta... but surprisingly none has been forthcoming. Perhaps we're too busy following the yawn-fest that is our coalition government's antics?
  
  It is ironic that DSTV, which a South African based digital tv network broadcasts quite a number of television shows with gay characters and these are shown in a number of African countries, most of which criminalise same-sex relationships in varying degrees. (South Africa is the only African country that recognises same-sex marriage and relationships and guarantees the same protection under the law). So the queer folk like me do get to enjoy some gay moments on TV every now and again. Kudos SA!
  
  Anyway, to celebrate fictional gay characters on TV, here are some of sister's favourites: (She's got good taste- and I am taking full reponsibility for that :) All these shows are shown on DSTV.
  
  UK's teen drama Skins ( that my sister adores). Lots of stuff in a teens life; you know -teen angst, relationships, alcohol abuse, more angst, A-levels, pregnancy scares, even more angst etc and features a gay character as one of the main cast members.
  
  
  
  An American drama: Greek- Calvin and Michael - an interracial gay couple which warms my heart...and other parts....
  
  
  
  From the US, comedy drama Ugly Bettty- which I've actually never sat down and watched. I must rectify this as I adore Vanessa Williams. Marc is Vanessa's character's openly gay assistant on the show.
  
  
  
  
  
  From the UK, a teen drama: Hollyoaks- John Paul and Craig (this picture alone almost makes me want to move back to the UK...almost.)
  
  
  
  UK's Torchwood- I actually watch this one sometimes.For fans of the British cult series Dr. Who, Torchwood is a spin-off starring Captain Jack Harkness. There are about 1000001 awesome things about this show, I can't list them all! We have an openly gay actor, John Barrowman, playing a bisexual alien-hunting, coat-wearing hero. Captain Jack who is from the 51st Century doesn't mind a bit of nookie with man, woman or alien! Now this my my kinda guy!
  
  
  
  
  
  And just because I can, I leave you with ( openly straight) Taye Diggs because he makes being stuck in the office in this sweltering heat so much more bearable.
  
  

• I aint Gay!!!

  Posted: April 14, 2009, 1:00 pm by Wildeyearnings

  Breaking Easter news this weekend in Kenya:
  Kenya's Prime Minister declares he is not gay.
  
  In other news:
  
  Who fucking cares?

• What if: Kenya Decriminalised Homosexuality?

  Posted: April 7, 2009, 5:08 pm by Wildeyearnings

  Tamaku (Diary of a Gay Kenyan) is running a poll on his blog with the question: Should Kenya decriminalise homosexuality?
  
  Gay Uganda (GUG) is painstakingly documenting the fight by religious extremists and some government officials in Uganda to eliminate the 'terrible un-African' value of homosexuality. (Conveniently forgetting that one of their traditional Kings -Kabaka-was gay). But pay no mind to petty and accurate things like history.
  
  In the spirit of these efforts, I took it upon myself to 'research' into the effects of decriminalising homosexuality in Kenya. Would Kenya descend into ethnically-fuelled violence? Would there be a widespread ( man-made) famine and massive loss of jobs? Would Kenya beat Nigeria in the world cup qualifiers? Would Kalembe finally, finally become President of Kenya?
  
  Although I am gay, I remained impartial through the whole process of collecting data.
  
  I present you my 'findings' (LOL):
  
  What would happen if Kenya Decriminalises Homosexuality?
  
  
  
  
  
  Makes you think huh?

• A Journey Worth Taking.. by A Sentimental Old Bastard

  Posted: April 2, 2009, 5:38 pm by Wildeyearnings

  
  
  Its been one hell of a ride!
  
  A year ago I started this blog originally just to vocalise my feelings. Primarily the fact that I was in love with my straight best friend and basically screwed. (pun not intended..much)
  
  Anyway so basically my first post was cringingly cliché . It was My Journey's Just Began LOL!...really, it has? (not obvious at all then)
  
  My second post went something like

  I'm in Love with my straight best friend and I'm in deep shit

  ( I was so eloquent even then. Mother would've been proud.)
  
  So the thing is:
  My best friend did get married and I found out people actually don't die of heart ache ( but it does hurt like a mo'fo'),
  
  I put up pictures of the most mouth wateringly hot guys ever (Hey what happened to them? I hear you asking),
  
  I posted really embarrasing stories about myself like the night I got chips fungwad (i.e for non-Kenyans the day I had a one-night stand ),
  
  I wrote about the day I came out to my parents,
  
  I confessed that I once had a crush on my brother-in-law (I see a pattern here, don't you?),
  
  I warned you against getting your intimates pierced ( bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, very bad idea- I cannot stress that enough).
  
  And despite being the guy that no mother or father should ever meet, y'all stuck with me!
  
  In the process, I got to meet (on blogger) the great Blogren: see blog list and villagers on the side. Special mention to those who don't appear on the list but make my day when you do come here- malaika, kenyan chic,otti, canuckchic,leonardo...etc y'all rock.
  And thanks all of you anons who comment- you make my day.
  
  I also got several emails sent to me each week which in summary consist of:
  
  1. I'm a tourist coming to Kenya- wanna hook up for a bit of nookie?
  2. Do you wanna date me?
  3. I'm in love with you, please call me! ( numbers provided and all)
  4. No.2 continued.. you don't want to date me!!!!?? OMG! But why? I'm in love with you! (I think no. 2,3 and 4 are the same person...too much of a coincidence methinks)
  5. Get saved, repent and the Lord will save you from hell. ( erm.. thanks...but I like it down here ok. And its ok if I'm going to hell at least I'll finally get to meet you dear Christian-who writes-me-every-week-to-save-my-gay-ass-from-satan)
  5. I know who you are! You are XXXXXXX aren't you?
  You aren't? Are you sure you're not him? Then you're VVVVVV? Am I right Am I?
  
  I should mention here that Emailer No. 5 and I have become really good penpals. :) He/she emails me every week attempting to identify me. Its become really fun. I even miss those emails when they don't come. And now we even email back and forth over non-identity issues. Last week I asked he/she for advice on where to buy the freshest veggies in Nairobi. I wonder if No. 5 stalked the vegetable vendor all of last week waiting for me (feels evil muaha ha ha ha).
  
  I've had a blast this past year and I never thought I'd still be posting and there's lots more to come! Yay for blogger!
  
  Like did I ever tell you of the time I went on my first gay date in college?
  No?
  Well , a little short guy greeted me at the door wearing a Star Wars costume when I picked him up for our first, and last,date. I don't think he liked it when I laughed so hard I cried. The way he slammed the door in my face was a clue.
  

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes