Wilde Yearnings
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Grumble...
Posted: March 31, 2009, 2:28 pm by Wildeyearnings
While parked in Westlands on Sunday night, someone threw a Heineken bottle at my car and broke my side mirror.
Proof that assholes drink shite beer. -
Exit... stage left
Posted: March 27, 2009, 9:10 pm by Wildeyearnings
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Snapshots from a Life
Posted: March 25, 2009, 12:44 pm by Wildeyearnings
Caution: Extremely random - proceed at your own risk.
If life was music:
Prelude
His head is as the most fine gold, his locks are bushy, and black as a raven. His eyes are as the eyes of doves by the rivers of waters, washed with milk, and fitly set. His cheeks are as a bed of spices, as sweet flowers: his lips like lilies, dropping sweet smelling myrrh. His legs are as pillars of marble, set upon sockets of fine gold: his countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars. His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved.
Songs of Solomon
Minuet
Three nights ago: I glance over to my younger sister sleeping on the sofa.
I feel such an outpouring of love like probably only parents feel when they first hold their new-borns in their arms. At least I probably think thats how they feel.
In that moment, I experience a sense of melancholy at the fact that I'm probably not going to have any children of my own.
The moment grows into minutes- I abandon the tv sitcom we'd been watching and just look at this person, this person who resembles me in so many ways: Same eyes, same nose, same unruly hair and the same spark of mischief in her eyes.
I love her very much. But in that moment, I'd die for her, quite literally.
I want to protect her from all the hate, the discrimination and the disappointments she'll inevitably face in life but I know I can't.
She opens her eyes, perhaps feeling my gaze. We study each other solemnly for a few seconds. She says sardonically: "You're creeping me out. Stop staring."
The moment is broken.
I smile and send her off to bed.
She gets up and walks off...but then comes back to give me a little hug and kiss goodnight. This surpises me. We're usually never that sentimental.
But perhaps she also feels the moment.
She walks off.
I see traces of my mother in her.
Romanze-Andante
A hug, a manly pounding of the shoulders to say hello.
An exchange of mutual "Its so nice to see you again!"
An uneasy few seconds of remembered conversations and deeds quickly dissolve into the never-forgotten camaraderie of best friends.
Catching up with old friends, best friends is so much fun.
Laughter flows easily, successes are toasted and acquaintances are dissected.
Behind it all, though, there is the unspoken conversation waiting to happen.
This lurking minefield is resolutely ignored. A mutual decision. Not referred to at all.
Emotions are carefully hidden and masks of happiness put firmly in place.
I'm able to turn my mind into a blank page or recite code in my head to stay distracted and deny the truth ... just so long as we're not touching.
Finale
At 19, I knew a guy who on the surface appeared to be obsessed with sports, girls and boozing.
Underneath the macho layer was a guy who liked sports, men and boozing.
I like this guy. I see him everday. A mirror reflection of me. -
Pure Imperfection
Posted: March 23, 2009, 6:59 pm by Wildeyearnings
You know when you spend time with THAT person, just doing the most ordinary, little things?
Yeah? You do?
It's like being enveloped in the warmest, perfect coat while sharing laughter with someone you feel the world for.
*sighs* -
It is how it is... of boobs, moobs and general chit chat
Posted: March 18, 2009, 2:27 pm by Wildeyearnings
or Conversations with a Gay Man:
Introducing Kim and Wamz: Together we make up the troika of fabulousness.
Kim and Wamz are both straight. Kim's been married for five years, Wamz is one of those Kenyan confirmed-bachelors (read player).
I’ve known Wamz all my life and Kim for about 10 years now. I love ‘em to bits but that doesn’t stop them ribbing me every now and then about my sexuality. All in good fun of course and no malice in it.
At the pub last night, after getting ourselves thoroughly mellowed, we got into a very interesting conversation, set off by an observation from Kim about an article in one of the daily’s on sex ( heterosexual sex that is).
Kim wanted to know what body parts attracted us first - i.e in Nairobi-speak, were we 'boob' men or 'booty men'? Amused I opted out of this conversation for obvious reasons and watched the lads fight it out. However they didn't let me off the hook for too long.
Wamz turns to me and wants to know if I missed out on all the benefits of being attracted to the opposite sex, me being gay and all.
Amused, I pointed out that I'd probably get more that he ever would and that sometimes gay men didn't have to go through the whole ceremony of flirt, impress, woo, seduce, then either score or strike-out. Sometimes its was easy as making a try at the first effort. (excuse the rugby-speak).
They both nodded at this and looked at me a little bit enviously.
“I wish I was gay.” Wamz sighed, more than a little envious.
“Me too,” Kim agreed, “I would be gay but I don’t think that I could give up the boobs. If only men had boobs.”
“What you need,” Wamz replied, “Is a fat man. With man- boobs. Moobs.”
“Ooh like Jack Black!” Kim smirks.
“Do you miss boobs?” Kim asks me.
I shrug, “Not especially.”
“You never were a boob man though were you?” Wamz asks, “I mean M (my ex-girl friend back in my teens) was hardly Pamela Anderson.”
"Maybe it was his subconscious telling him that he's more of a cock man." Kim suggests.
I love my friends. -
Dear Universe,
Posted: March 16, 2009, 7:37 pm by Wildeyearnings
I appreciate that irony is one of the things you do best and often, I might add. I know that one of your favourite reactons from us lowly human beings is 'Why {insert appropriate deity} Why!!!???
I also understand that nothing makes you happier than to see your lowly subjects fucked to shit. (excuse my Swahili).
However Universe sir, Your Highness, do you honestly sincerely swear by your er.... majestyship, that it is necessary to mind-fuck your loyal subject over and over again? Why in the world would you room your loyal subject with the object of affection he can never, ever have for a whole three days?
Seriously why?
Yours,
Loyal devotee -
Observations
Posted: March 12, 2009, 1:08 pm by Wildeyearnings
You know you're over 30 when 'buy condoms' has been on your to-do list for a week and you haven't done anything about it.
Blah blah blah
Fish cakes
Alas a fish cake.
Yet more fish cakes
Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.
The end of the fish cakes
