Wilde Yearnings

• I knew I was gay when...

  Posted: August 21, 2008, 12:16 pm by Wildeyearnings

  
  You know what? Being gay, I've become used to the questions that usually accompany the incredulous looks on people's faces when they find out I am gay. I know many people get irritated by these kind of questions, but they just amuse me. I now have template answers I use when asked ...But how did you know you were gay?
  So here are some of my answers.
  I knew I was gay when...
  
  1. I had a crush on Superman when I was 12 years old and wanted to wear tights just like his! ( BTW: Christopher Reeve who played Superman was a GOD.- I remember the adolescent-lad dreams I used to have of him...erm... too much information?)
  
  2. The first time I watched porn ( yes you've all done it! stop judging) - I think I was 13? or maybe 14?, I didn't remember seeing the girls in it AT ALL. So when my friends were talking about the 'huge knockers on the blonde', I was like ????. Coz the guy in it was a brunette and the only thing huge about him was...well...use your imagination.
  You know this should have tipped me off but it wasn't for some years that I started seriously questioning myself :)
  
  3. At 13, in my school's junior rugby team, I started avoiding communal showering because I was scared to death of that 'tingling feeling'. God those years were torture....of the good and bad kind.
  
  4. I developed this HUGE crush on my math teacher who wasn't even that good looking but had this awesome voice. You would think that I did really well in math to impress him but unfortunately math lessons consisted of me staring at him all googly eyed and daydreaming about our life together and as a result my marks were nowhere near respectable. Way below average comes to mind.
  
  5. The furthest I ever got with my first girlfriend (we were both 15) was a bit of furtive hand-holding under the table. At this time I was nowhere near 'first base'. In fact if first base was in Australia, I would say I was somewhere close to the Congo at this point.
  
  5. My second girlfriend- her I did get to first base with, you'll all be glad to know. I was 16 at this point, my school's rugby deputy captain and as a result needed to have a girlfriend. Peer pressure. So I got the prettiest girl in the school, chest puffed up but only... I had no idea what to do with her! We had many, many stimulating conversations about life in the evenings hidden behind the school shed which couples used as a make-out zone. I think this would have continued indefinately if she didn't take matters into her own hands...quite literally so.
  
  Anyway being a 16 year old lad with plenty of rampaging hormones, I did manage to acquit myself honorably ( thank you, thank you). Only thing is repeat performances consisted of me fantasising about other guys in order to deliver a mutually favorable outcome. Anyway you'll be glad to know she dumped me after 4 months together for someone older and more popular and probably more experienced where it counted.
  
  I should have known I was gay at this point when after being dumped all I felt was a sense of relief that there would be no more 'behind-the-shed rendezvous'!
  
  6. I guess when I finally admitted to myself that I might be a little 'different' was when I kissed the 18 year rugby captain one drunken night. God! It was like an epiphany that moment. It was like- so THIS, THIS is what the big deal's about. THIS is why people spend all their time trying to score. Funny thing is that I wasn't even attracted to him- but we sort of found our lips together in one amazing moment :). Oh the joys of teenage life. I think it was also a bit of experimentation for him because after that nothing ever happened between us. We never, ever talked about it and he left one month later after his A level exams.
  
  7. And then I knew for sure I was 'different' when I met a brother/sister combo at a relatives wedding and got aroused immediately by the brother. Yes. Even I knew something was up at that point. Only thing is that that the 'brother' took a shining to my sister. Fast forward 12 years later- that 'brother' is now my brother-in-law. My sister ( his wife) loves this story. It never fails to crack her up.
  
  I called my self 'bisexual' for a long time before I faced up to the reality that the only thing 'bi' about me was that I liked both tall and short men.
  
  My coming out- thats another story.
  
  So when did YOU know you were gay?

• The first cut....

  Posted: August 15, 2008, 1:43 pm by Wildeyearnings

  So I'm back in the office after an extended involuntary time-off.
  
  Today I get into the office and stop to chat with the guys from HR- a nice bunch of fellows- and stumble upon one of the most interesting conversations I've heard in a while. So there we are- 5 heterosexual ( as far as I know anyway) guys, 1 closeted gay guy ( me)- discussing the male penis. Very intriguing conversation for me as you may well imagine.
  
  This awesome discussion of the penis came about because of the whole debate on male circumcision. There's been talk in Kenya for a while about male circumcision being used as way to prevent HIV/AIDS transmission. Now I don't know the medical specifics but apparently medical research has shown that circumcision does lower the risk of contracting HIV/AIDS? Sounds a bit far-fetched to me but hey...
  
  Anyway getting back to this morning's discussion- a majority felt that 'the cut' was a cultural imposition. In Kenya, male circumcision is a cultural practice for most of the over 45 different ethnic groups including Kenyan Jews. However there are certain communities that do not practice it and are now being urged by our politicians to adopt it. The discussion got pretty heated with certain people protesting that their culture was being eroded and others vociferously 'imposing' their cultural practices on others and me there enjoying every minute of it while secretly hoping that one of them would propose a ' show and tell' segment of our debate which would see zips being lowered and ....
  
  Unfortunately this only happened in my head.
  
  Another thing I liked today morning was a satirical and very funny article appearing in one of our newspapers on why Africa doesn’t dominate archery yet no other continent uses bows and arrows for primary purposes as much. It’s a mystery: Africans can’t shoot Olympic arrows!
  Read it, its really funny.

• I used up all my sick days ...

  Posted: August 13, 2008, 6:55 pm by Wildeyearnings

  
  ..and now I'm calling in dead.
  
  
  
  
  And by the way wasn't the Olympics opening ceremony truly spectacular?
  
  
  
  
  Too bad the performances were mostly mimed and/or cgi. But still mind-blowingly entertaining.
  
  And with this truly pointless, boring post, I'm off to try another miracle cure. Know of any witch-doctors who come highly recommended?

• In Memoriam

  Posted: August 7, 2008, 2:16 pm by Wildeyearnings

  10 years ago this day (7th August) at 10 am , more than 200 people were killed when terrorists set off a bomb in Nairobi's central business district.
  
  
  
  
  My two cousins (16 and 18 years old) were among those who died.
  
  I'm not poetic or anything but I wish I could express in some way how much I miss them. And also how much I hope that everyone who's ever lost a loved one senselessly, gets the love and support which got my family and thousands of Kenyans through this tragedy.
  
  10 years ago, Kenya wept, 10 years on- we're stronger than ever- still peaceful (for the most part) and never forgetting those who lost their lives that August morning.
  
  "I will never forget, But I will forgive".
  Nelson Mandela

• I'm still alive....barely

  Posted: August 4, 2008, 12:00 pm by Wildeyearnings

  Well just thought I'd give a little update.
  
  Last time I wrote, I was battling the almighty flu. Well, the flu won...but I was back on my feet in a couple of days....only to succumb to the the dreaded malaria. (Note to self-when living in a tropical country, always take anti-malarial drugs).
  
  I'm ok though good people! Chicken soup is the worlds best-kept secret miracle cure.
  
  My dad and my older brother are in town on holiday. They both live abroad- my dad ever since my mama passed away about 3 years ago prefers to escape the memories of our family home and is now an international gallivanter of note.
  
  It has been a fun week- male bonding and catching up and generally living it up with my two favorite men. My brother who is one of the most heterosexual men I know and very competitive (well, we both are), has decided that he can pull a boyfriend faster than I can just to have one over me. And damn him, he may be right. He is a good looking bastard-damn him again. More tales to come of our quest to see who will win this particular challenge.
  
  Ok this is a very random post as I'm rushing out to a meeting.
  
  But just want to say that having my dad around rocks! Really missed the old guy and his dry, off-centre sense of humour. And for the first time in my life- he is trying to set me up! With the son of a friend of his :) This is too surreal. Some alien took over my dad's body.
  
  I'll post soon. I'm enjoying reading all your lovely blogs in the meantime.

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes