Wanjiku Unlimited

• CSI vs Kenya Law - Who Will Nail the Rapists

  Posted: July 16, 2008, 3:26 pm by HLumiti

  In a previous post here, I mentioned the availability in Kenya now of rapid DNA testing capabilities, courtesy of an independent forensic outfit that has recently set up shop, the CSI Nairobi. While welcoming this top end technology in our arsenal of tools to unravel and speed up forensic cases, I also expressed a little skepticism over whether the guardians of our outdated laws would be inclined to accept this, now widely practiced, technology. And true to form, the ancient sloth that bestrides our legal corridors has not disappointed.

  CSI Nairobi says they have spent most of the last two months shuttling from one government office to another trying to convince the powers that be to accept results of DNA profiling that they have conducted. This is watertight evidence that will help nab and convict without a doubt the perpetrators of various crimes. They are currently holding many such results pertaining to the murderous post election violence that included gang rape and other forms of physical brutality. But as the Kenyan law now stands, it cannot be adduced in court because CSI Nairobi is not a designated government analyst. Their high tech evidence can actually be dismissed as hearsay... or as our lawyers like to dismiss it, mama mboga evidence! By Kenyan law, the only forensic experts recognized in court are to be found at the Government Chemist’s department. And even then, they have to be gazetted officers. To be gazetted, one would first have to be in the employ of the Government Chemist, undergo several years’ training and then gather several years in experience as a senior analyst.

  Of course this now means that to indulge the ingenious good people of CSI Nairobi, the laws may have to be changed. But by whom and when? Our serious looking Director of Public Prosecutions who should be bothered by the increasing number of pending cases in these matters is apparently engaged in more serious matters of the state. Like chasing one Okoiti Omtata around town with countless charges of, among other things, attempting to commit suicide at Police Headquarters. The best he could do for CSI Kenya was to ask them to take their results “to the CID and Government Chemist for verification and accreditation”. The very same agencies that have no capacity to conduct these analyses! The CID would be verifying DNA profiles against what? Finger print records? And by what statute would the Government Chemist be accrediting anyone when he/she has no such powers anyway? Was the DPP just flexing muscles by tossing around hawa vijana tu or could it be that he does not really appreciate just how much law he’s purporting to serve is senselessly convoluted? Bwana DPP also reminded the CSI that the Attorney-General had set up a task force to look into the ‘operationalisation’ of the Sexual Offences Act (of 2003). Yes, 2003! And still waiting. Gender activists might want to note that the said task force is/was chaired by Lady Justice Joyce Aluoch. And that the Minister for Justice and Constitutional Affairs under whose docket the law reforms program falls is one Martha Karua. It is hard to tell what it is that the authorities are doing sitting on such a law even though the comforts of high office may obviously be preventing them from empathizing with the trauma and suffering of many civilians. Assuming that the said Act will in fact give way to the likes of CSI Nairobi being incorporated in the fight against these crimes, one is at a loss to figure out just what it takes to ‘operationalise’ this law. And given the daily revelations of the shady goings-on in the corridors of power, one would be tempted to think that schemes are being put in place to ‘eat’ from the operationalisation process. I wouldn’t put it past these folks, never mind their professed learned brotherhood. I suspect that the simple truth is that government functionaries are in a state of utter confusion and apathy with no one in particular tasked to work on any specific tool or event related to the law(s). The top brass in the bloated executive are engaged in foolish grand posturing while their charges pass the buck and continue to serve faithfully at the pleasure of the President. Meanwhile, thousands are crying out for justice and the CSI resources that may just alleviate their suffering could end up lying idle. Isn’t the law an ass? Related articles;

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• So You Have Won Kshs.100,000/- Plus Nokia 6230i?

  Posted: July 16, 2008, 2:22 pm by Shiko-Msa

  Yesterday 15^th July I received a message from Telephone Number +255764848389 that read like this: You have won Kshs.100,000/- plus Nokia 6230i. Call us on 0729-999999 or 0728-540841 www.safaricom.co.ke. That was such a coincidence because just the previous night I had watched a shocking confession from an inmate who claimed that he had made Kshs.12Million, bought a 32 acre piece of land and 3 matatus all with proceeds from the above SMS con game.

  When I received the message, I knew it was one of those but I decided to call the number provided just for the kicks. The guy said that he was at the Safaricom Headquarters and that I had indeed won the said prizes. I asked him what I had done to win since I had not taken part in any Safaricom contest and he said that my phone number had just been picked at random by their computers. I had quite a number of questions for the conman – what a nice way to satisfy my curiosity and have a good laugh while at it. We actually conversed for about 2 minutes. It went something like this – in Swahili though:

  • What have I done to win this money and phone? You don’t have to have done anything. Your number was picked at random by our computers.

  • Is Safaricom running a secret contest or do their systems just periodically pick on lucky numbers? You’re just lucky that your number has been picked.

  • Are you aware of the prisons con game that is under investigation? Yes but this is different. I’m calling from Safaricom headquarters.

  • How come you’re using a different number from the one used by Safaricom to notify it’s winners? Sometimes Safaricom assigns different numbers for different purposes.

  • How come the initial message came from a Tanzanian number? Safaricom headquarters can use any number within the roaming area.

  • When you win something from Safaricom or any other company, do they really ask you to call them or are they the ones who call you? They get in touch with you.

  • So what do you want now? I send you Kshs.2000/- worth of airtime? No just give me your full name and ID number so I can send you your prize money and the Nokia.

  By this time he sounded like he was beginning to get worked up. Me I was having some dangerous fun although I started getting scared at some point. What if these are actually the police doing investigations? What if he’s able to trace my number like in the movies? What if my number is now a marked one? Anyway, when he asked for my full names and ID number I was done with the freak and disconnected the call.

  Seriously our prisons are fast becoming money making institutions. It seems being locked up does not make a difference to these criminals as far as getting rich is concerned. Even at the height of investigations into the cell phones saga, and despite the nabbing of over 350 cell phones and assorted SIM cards by police the game is still going on.

  Can the prison authorities explain how so many cell phones land in the cells in maximum security prisons?

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes