The Night Book

• American Journalism Needs to Clean Up Its Act...Or Get A Life

  Posted: August 15, 2008, 1:59 am by Levari

  
  Like, d'uh
  
  PALO ALTO, California (Reuters) - Bigfoot remains as elusive as ever.
  
  Results from tests on genetic material from alleged remains of one of the mythical half-ape and half-human creatures, made public at a news conference on Friday held after the claimed discovery swept the Internet, failed to prove its existence.
  
  Its spread was fueled by a photograph of a hairy heap, bearing a close resemblance to a shaggy full-body gorilla costume, stuffed into a container resembling a refrigerator.
  
  One of the two samples of DNA said to prove the existence of the Bigfoot came from a human and the other was 96 percent from an opossum, according to Curt Nelson, a scientist at the University of Minnesota who performed the DNA analysis.
  
  Bigfoot creatures are said to live in the forests of the U.S. Pacific Northwest. An opossum is a marsupial about the size of a house cat.
  
  Results of the DNA tests were revealed in an e-mail from Nelson and distributed at the Palo Alto, California, news conference held by Tom Biscardi, host of a weekly online radio show about the Bigfoot.
  
  Also present were Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, the two who say they discovered the Bigfoot corpse while hiking in the woods of northern Georgia. They also are co-owners of a company that offers Bigfoot merchandise.
  
  Despite the dubious photo and the commercial interests of the alleged discoverers, the Bigfoot claim drew interest from Australia to Europe and even The New York Times.
  
  Biscardi said the DNA samples may not have been taken correctly and may have been contaminated, and that he would proceed with an autopsy of the alleged Bigfoot remains, currently in a freezer at an undisclosed location.

• Sasquatch

  Posted: August 15, 2008, 9:08 pm by Levari

  
  Why is it that every time someone "finds evidence" of Big Foot or The Lochness Monster or aliens, the picture or video that gets "released" is either blurry, half cut-off or looks like something from a cheap movie studio tour. You would think these guys would spend the money to hire a professional photographer if they were going to go to all this trouble, and moreso if it was real.
  
  And Big Foot in Georgia? Of all places! Are you kidding me? The KKK down there would hunt down any black man who breathed near a white woman even if had he been on the run through those same woods for months. Now you're telling me that not one of these guys could hunt down, much less mistakenly run into a big loping 7'7 ape-man until now? Okay.
  
  By the way, speaking of incredible, not to be believed finds, a couple years ago, after a meeting for work at Universal Studios, I once "found" the legendary "Back to The Future" De Lorean, the one that Michael J. Fox drives, abandoned, alone and rusted in the very back of the Universal lot. It was just sitting there, the skeleton of it, its previous movie glory all but forgotten, looking like Johnny Unitas in a San Diego Chargers uniform.
  
  I bet it's still there.
  
  That's Hollywood.
  
  Anyway, read for yourself.
  
  (CNN) -- A policeman and a former corrections officer say that on Friday they will unveil evidence of what they claim is their biggest find ever: the body of Bigfoot.
  
  The thawed body of a creature reputed to be Bigfoot reportedly weighs more than 500 pounds.
  
  Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, a pair of Bigfoot-hunting hobbyists from north Georgia, say they found the creature's body in a wooded area and spotted several similar creatures that were still alive.
  
  The carcass of the furry half-man, half-ape is 7 feet, 7 inches tall and weighs more than 500 pounds, they say. However, the two are not disclosing the exact location of their discovery to protect the remaining creatures.
  
  Tom Nelson, chairman of the biology department at North Georgia College and State University in Dahlonega, said he's "pretty skeptical" the world will feast its eyes on a new species Friday.
  
  "That would certainly rock mammalogy," joked Nelson, who specializes in the study of mammals. "I see a research grant in my future."
  
  Whitton and Dyer plan to unveil what they say is DNA and photo evidence of the discovery in Palo Alto, California, in conjunction with a group called Searching for Bigfoot Inc.
  
  A photograph on that group's Web site shows what appears to be the body of a large, hairy creature with an ape-like face, stuffed into a large freezer.
  
  According to a written release, the two announced the discovery on an Internet radio show, "Squatch Detective," several weeks ago. iReport.com: Do you believe in Bigfoot?
  
  "The only person we would allow to come down and verify the body was 'the Real Bigfoot Hunter,' Tom Biscardi," Dyer said, referring to Searching for Bigfoot's CEO, who has been looking for the elusive, legendary creature in the United States and Canada since 1971.
  
  Whitton is a Georgia police officer who is on administrative leave after being shot in the wrist during a pursuit. Dyer is a former prison guard.
  
  DNA tests on the body have begun, said the statement, and "extensive scientific studies" will be done on the body by scientists, including a molecular biologist, an anthropologist and a paleontologist.
  
  Nelson, the university professor, acknowledged that new species of animals have been discovered in recent decades and that, in science, "we always acknowledge the possibility of something new."
  
  But he said that even in north Georgia, home to the Blue Ridge Mountains and the foot of the Appalachian Trail, it stretches the imagination to think a family of 7-foot-tall creatures could have eluded hunters, hikers and creeping development until now.
  
  "To the average person, these places just seem like extreme wilderness where you'll find lions and tigers and bears," he said. "The reality is that you're never more than a mile from a road."
  
  The group says the animal is male, has reddish hair and "blackish-gray" eyes and human-like feet, hands and teeth. E-mail to a friend | Mixx it | Share

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes