The Lily Review

  • Ask Lily: Cheating boyfriend and Trust Issues

    Posted: April 11, 2011, 10:00 am by admin

    Dear Lily,

    I have been dating a man for the past 3 years. Our relationship have been rocky since we first started dating but we always resolved our differences before it got worse. 2 years down to the relationship, he was constantly keeping a space from me by always hanging out with his friends and never seeing me. This man changed so much that I began to worry. My insecurities developed and I started stressing over every little thing with him. I would complain to him about giving me more time and he would on temporary basis and go back to being the same a week after. After many fights and separations I was convinced that he may be cheating on me.

    I did my research in every way possible and found out that he was in fact cheating on with a girl he met at a club for a about a month and a half. I discovered this through his phone account and saw that he was talking to a woman nonstop. I confronted him and he admitted. I left him for about two weeks and after his apologies I decided to take him back. Yes, maybe you can say that I was very insecured of losing him. I became so depressed and lost so much weight stressing over how much he has hurt me. I truly love him with all my heart.

    The cheating happened 8 months ago. He has made positive changes but I cant convince my mind and heart that it will not happen again. He gave me all of his passwords and yes, there were incidence where i questioned him about a random number I saw on his phone account and he would get so furious. He has continued hanging out with his friends again giving me one day out of the week. He has now changed his passwords and given me an ultimatum that if I want to continue this relationship, I would have to give up the passwords and take his words that he will never cheat on me. How can I accept this? I have told him the opposite that if he wont spend more time with me and give me those passwords, I cannot continue on with this relationship.

    Its been three days and I have not heard back from him. PLEASE TELL ME WHERE AM I GOING WRONG. SHOULD I NOT DEMAND THOSE PASSWORDS AND HIS TIME?

    Marie
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