STONE COLD HAVEN
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Just Do It
Posted: December 30, 2009, 3:08 pm by Darius Stone
Air travel isn’t what it used to be. If I’m really honest, it’s probably the bane of my life (or at least it ranks somewhere out there with the things I hate most). The long stretch of flight time 39K ft up there I can probably handle by watching a movie, listening to music or working. The worst part is most definitely the insulting security and pre-boarding checks that take place in the name of guaranteeing our personal safety.
Abdulmutallab, the Arsenal hating virgin who couldn’t even do a competent job as a suicide bomber has just made things overly complicated for hundreds of thousands of air travellers around the world. It’s bad enough to go to any airport and watch passengers being prodded around like useless cattle while being told to remove shoes and go through the most humiliating security checks that are legally sanctioned. But this 23 year old punk had to go try redefine the meaning of a Christmas cracker.
The removing the shoes thing started after some freak tried to blow up a plane with a device implanted in his sneakers and failed. What are they going to do now? Ask everyone to strip and flap their underwear in front of the security guards to make sure that only remnants of pubic hair drop out?
Conventional wisdom suggests that only securing the cockpit door of an aircraft with a Fort Knox style of security system will stop a hijacker taking control of an aircraft and using it as a loaded weapon. However, this ”just do it” mentality is starting to really piss me off.
All this reactive ‘extra security’ nonsense is only designed to make passengers feel better, but it does fuck all (forgive the industrial language) to deal with the issue of terrorist threats. It’s the old classic ideology of Problem, Reaction, Solution. Create a problem, cause a reaction and implement the solution you’ve always wanted because no one can really bitch about it.
They’ve now introduced thermal imaging machines at UK airports to scan through your clothes. Notwithstanding the fact that the guy at the other side of the TV monitor will pretty much be watching X-rated images of passenger’s genetalia, it still doesn’t stop another underwear bomber anyway.
So the politicians sign off another ”Just do it” initiative to pretend to do something about global terrorism. How about dealing with the Palestinian Israeli conflict for one. You’ll be surprised how many fundamentalist nutters will down their tools if the biggest miscarriage of justice in the middle east is resolved – or at least is seen to be dealt with fairly.
Meanwhile, the latest version of ‘Just Do It’ will see passengers being treated in airports around the world like concentration camp prisoners being queued up for slaughter. Airlines will continue to spout nonsense like “you need to check in 3 hrs before your flight”. What nonsense! I’ve never ever tried to appear at an airport 3 hrs before a flight. Why would I do something crazy like that?
If all 290 passengers turned up 3 hrs before (and combine that with all the other outbound flights) that’s just a nightmare in itself. I think it’s all a conspiracy supported by the airport management who want to keep you locked up in their airport for the longest possible time so that you can spend money as a captive customer.
But seriously, enough with this heightened security nonsense. Can someone in America or the UK (anywhere really) start dealing with the reason why people are so pissed off with them they’d want to use a fully fuelled long-haul aircraft as a live explosive device. We can start with prosecutors at the Hague indicting George Bush and Tony Blair for war crimes against the innocent citizens of Iraq and Afghanistan.
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