STONE COLD HAVEN

• Tax Payers Money for Porn - What a perk!

  Posted: March 30, 2009, 2:50 pm by Darius Stone

  It’s always difficult to tell which is the more stressful or humiliating – the fact that your hubby has been watching dirty old hard core porn, and probably playing with his tojjer, while you’re away working hard for the bacon, or the fact that the drama of him being a naughty boy is played out on a national and possibly international stage.

  I must admit, I’m not a fan of Jacqui Smith, the UK Home Secretary, but even a stone cold approach to some issues in life doesn’t stop me from empathizing with her, regardless of the spectacular stupidity of this matter. Deep down she must be wondering what the fuck hit her as she looks in the mirror and tries to contemplate whether to castrate her husband for the public humiliation, or whether to cry because of the heartbreak.

  
  
  Home Secretary Jacqui Smith leaving for a very long day at work

  Clearly, the irony of the timing of the leak about her expenses claim that paid for pornographic movies with tax payers money isn’t past the cynical mind of someone from the enemy camp with excellent sabotage skills. I don’t think its coincidence that the leak comes just before one of Jacqui’s biggest moments on the international political stage, as she prepares her security apparatus to host probably the most powerful 20 leaders in the world in London. Apparently, MP’s now want the Police to investigate who leaked her dirty old secret out - are they afraid their skeletons are coming out next?

  Gordon her boss must be thinking – “The damn bastards”. If it’s not enough that he’s gallivanting the world in an attempt to rally G20 folks into buying his global financial master plan, the enemy has to unleash this madness onto the stage.

  Gordon Brown’s job already looks like a lost cause that is tantamount to him trying to herd cats, but this Jacqui Porngate affair is just the stuff that comedy is made of.

  As for Jacqui’s hubby Dick, it looks like he’ll have to do with the sofa for a while as she cools off. I don’t know which is actually more stupid on his part – Watching hardcore porn on the family TV pay per view account, or getting caught by stupidly letting his wife claim the cost of the porn movies from tax payers, lest she asks why she shouldn’t be claiming it and he has to admit that he’s been a naughty boy.

  
  Jacqui Smith’s husband Richard Timney apologizing to the media for his moment of madness

  He’ll probably plead insanity and claim that she’s been starving him of his conjugal rights hence his creativity looking for alternative entertainment – but with a good stint on the sofa, chances are he’s not getting pussy for a while.

  Either way, the biggest question in Britain right now is “What were those 2 porn movies that he watched?”. Talk about free advertising handed to the producers of the movies on a plate.Related Articles:

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