Memorable Jokes

• How to Impress a Woman/Man

  Posted: December 9, 2009, 9:46 am

  How to Impress a Woman:
  compliment her,
  kiss her,
  caress her,
  love her,
  comfort her,
  protect her,
  hold her,
  spend money on her,
  wine & dine her,
  listen to her,
  stand by her,
  support her,
  go to the ends of the earth for her.
  
  How to Impress a Man:
  show up naked,
  bring beer.

• Speaking a Woman's Language

  Posted: December 9, 2009, 9:44 am

  CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS?
  There is no way in hell I'm going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine.
  
  I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
  ... without you in it.
  
  DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
  We haven't had a fight in a while.
  
  I DON'T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
  I can't believe you have nothing planned.
  
  I LIKE YOU, BUT...
  I don't like you.
  
  OF COURSE I LOVE YOU.
  ... just not in that way.
  
  YOU NEVER LISTEN.
  You never listen.
  
  WE'RE MOVING TOO QUICKLY.
  I'm not going to sleep with you until I find out if this guy at the gym has a girlfriend.
  
  OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF.
  There's no way I'm letting you think this is a date.
  
  OH YES! RIGHT THERE!
  Well, near there, I just want to get this over with.
  
  I'M JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS.
  We're gonna get drunk and make fun of you and your friends.

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes