Kenyan Ramblings

• The African: Some of the most IDIOTIC statements ever made!

  Posted: August 22, 2008, 11:23 pm by Tafsiri Hii

  Yup, it is that time of the year again. That 7-day period when we celebrate our dear ignorant and idiotic brothers and sisters who persistently pester us with foolish questions about our backgrounds and make statements about.....wait for it, wait for it..."the Dark Continent". Let's call it Tafsiri's List of Idiotic Statements and Questions on Africa (with Tafsiri's remarks beneath every statement, naturally). Here goes:
  
  1. This, from my younger sister's American or Canadian penpal (needless to say, she never wrote back): "So, do you guys like live in caves or trees or something?"
  (Yes, we co-exist peacefully with monkeys. It's very environmental-friendly. Try it some time. I hear being friends with the environment is all the rage where you are from)
  
  2. Looking perturbed, scratching his head, a young caucasian man asks his African colleague: "You are from Africa?! How did you get to Europe?!"
  (Well, Sah! It is a long story, see. I walked a great distance from my village in the Highlands to a village along the shores of the great sea known to you as Indian Ocean. On my way to this village by the sea, which we call Mombasa, I had to battle a few savage tribesmen and be on the lookout for wild animals. I even killed a lion. Upon reaching Mombasa, I made a raft, climbed it and steered it to this here your great land)
  
  3. A young, energetic student who clearly greatly believes in her own intellectual abilities puts her hand up to make a comment in a class of students from multiple regions: "The fact is, in the country of Africa...."
  (The fact is, Africa is a continent not a country. Hard to believe, seeing that ALL Africans look alike, walk alike, think alike and even talk alike, right? I would suggest that you look at a map of the world.)
  
  4. I kid you not! My Japanese colleague asked me the following question after seeing some photos of wild animals I'd taken at a Game Reserve in Kenya. One of the photos was of a leopard devouring some poor tiny furry animal: "Are these your pets in Africa??"
  (Sweetie, does money grow on trees? Do pigs fly? Does the sun rise from the West? Do cows bark? If you answer 'yes' to any of the above questions, then those. are. my. pets.)
  
  5. George Bush, Jr. on some State business in Sweden in 2001: "We spent a lot of time talking about Africa, as we should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease."
  (Supra note 3!)

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes