Diary of a gay Kenyan

• Help! Password needed to enter Masai Mara

  Posted: July 16, 2009, 12:36 am by Tamaku

  I’ve been having some really wild dreams of late. In the dreams (it’s the same one always) I’m in this windowless room that looks like a gay Masai Moran’s boudoir, you know with fabulous wildebeest and zebra hides hanging on the walls and a sign above the door which says, ‘Welcome to Ole’s Maskan’ painted in red ochre. The ceilings are beautifully adorned with zebu cattle horns, extensive beadwork and flywhisks. In the dream I also see two bright eternal flames on either side of the room from burning pits of animal fats that Ole and I have just slaughtered (yeah don’t laugh I’m also a handsome warrior in the dream). Anyway we are just chilling out on the soft Molo-sheep skins with Ole while wrapped in our shukas (I never see his face but it’s not George, sorry George fans), we are sipping the traditional brew of muratina from a horn which is making us both horny. I don’t see any spears or clubs or machetes or such weapons just the fimbo he wants to show me. The lone cormorant perched on one of the zebu horns squawks but no other sounds.
  
  Just at that part the dream goes grey and I get a computer screen asking for a password!! It’s ridiculous now but in the dream I always type in ‘manyatta’, No. Try ‘rungu’, No! Last chance and I always enter ‘lotikipi’ but it’s also incorrect and that’s when I wake up. George tells me I’ve been kicking out in my sleep. It’s been the same dream for the last three nights, what could it mean?

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes