Delusions of Grandeur

  • Insomniac’s Creativity

    Posted: June 10, 2010, 8:33 pm by chi

    soundtrak: london elektricity :: syncopated city revisted

    - i woke up this morning to workout, but i’ve been feeling under the weather lately, so i decided not to go to the gym. i tried to go back to sleep, but i couldn’t: my mind was racing. sometimes this happens and i get ideas that just can’t stay in my head. so i got up and started writing; i ended up writing a somewhat complete outline for a book of short stories. i think it might work; now i need to stop being lazy or get a ghostwriter. i’ll probably post some outtakes here, i don’t know. i’ve been keeping my creations close to my chest.
    - looking for a job right now officially sucks; i think just because everybody is trying to find a job right now and willing to take whatever. according to everyone i’ve talked to, i’m doing everything that i’m supposed to be doing, it’s just going to take awhile. i’ve also been looking into taking summer classes or GRE classes (yes, i’m still on the PhD thing…), just trying to stay positive, which is hard, especially when i have a bad day. but i suppose if i just take it one day at a time and i am glad of the positives i do have: i’m still going to Kenya in July, my health in general is much better (i don’t have this constant feeling of dread or depression feeling in my chest) and i’m feeling more upbeat than working at that place. so i’m going to go with that.
    - maybe half of my problem is that i don’t like to leave the house. jan said that she worries that i will become a hermit, which is warranted. i don’t like to leave the house unless i really need to. why go to the movies, when i have netflix? why to go a restaurant, when i can cook? i’m very much a self-contained individual: it doesn’t take alot to keep me happy. just give me an interesting book and some great music and i’ll keep myself entertained. but sometimes i find myself staring at my blue walls wondering if i’m just slowly going crazy…

    i feel like my mind gets a little too carried away sometimes. i have all these ideas and topics that i want to write here, write in general, but i feel like i can’t catch up or i don’t know how to write it. these posts would be much longer, but i guess i should just dish what i can take, what i can handle. so i’m going to keep this short and sweet.

    peace.

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Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

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