Delusions of Grandeur

  • Loser

    Posted: October 12, 2009, 7:59 pm by chi

    soundtrak: beck :: loser

    i’m sitting at home stuck. why, you ask? well, first, i was looking for my car keys this whole weekend after i returned from church saturday afternoon. so i finally resolved to take the spare from the kitchen, only to find, not only my car doors unlocked but my car keys in the ignition.

    my car battery is drained. and i’m stuck. it took some serious pride swallowing to txt T, B. and Y to see if somebody could jump-start me. because i don’t even know how to jump-start a car.

    it’s taking everything in me not to burst into tears. or scream. and i’m planning on moving away for school? how am i going to do this?

    peace.

  • Walkabout

    Posted: October 12, 2009, 6:39 am by chi

    soundtrak: atlas sound :: walkabout

    life feels crazy for me right now. i've been depressed for a good couple of weeks now. i don't know if i want to get into all of it, if i'll ever get into any of it, but it's everything, together, all at the same time.

    What did you want to see
    What did you want
    To be when you grew up

    Y sent me an email that was like a slap to the face. a jerk move. but there are things much bigger going on that him and i, so i leave that to the wayside. i don't have time for that foolishness.

    To go away and not look back
    And think of what the others say
    To go ahead and change your life
    Without regard to what they said

    i feel like people want me to do, to be somebody that i'm not. something that i don't feel right now. i don't need it right now. unfortunately, it makes me feel uncomfortable about who i really am or what i want to be. but i feel like friends, family, society is pressing down on me.

    And everyone must do the same
    You find yourself must again
    The better things you left behind
    But looking back you may go blind

    i don't know if this is going to get better. i feel like i'm still in the middle of it, trying to find my way out.

    peace.

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Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes

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