Cock And Bull

  • Giving As You Gave Before The Hurt Occurred

    Posted: September 28, 2011, 1:21 pm by Administrator

    Yesterday, I came across a phrase that talked about forgiveness and defined it as ‘giving as you gave before the hurt occurred’. When I looked at it, it made it seem like forgiveness if such a difficult thing to achieve, and is probably the reason why we still harbor a lot of resentment towards people, places, situations and thing. If forgiveness is ‘giving as you gave before the hurt occurred’, then I can assure you that I have to start working on my forgiveness all over again.

    And why is that? Because in most cases, we assume that forgiveness is going about our business as if nothing happened. If someone hurt me and I decided to ‘forgive’ him, it would mean that I would make an effort to say hi and be courteous if I met them and I can even bear to be around them, albeit cautiously. I would ensure that my vibe leaves no doubt that that I don’t completely approve of them, plus of course – and probably most importantly – they would be cut off from the privileges that they abused. We wouldn’t want them to make the same mistake again. Now, would we? Having said that, it seems like I really am in the category of people who have no idea what forgiveness is, or at best, in the ‘forgive and not forget’ bracket.

    But ‘giving as you gave before the hurt occurred’ means that I should be able to give them access to my heart again, even if they walked all over it. It means that I should be able to trust them again, despite the fact that they betrayed it before. That I should lend them money, despite the fact that they never paid. That I should relax in their presence despite the fact that they made my life uncomfortable. Can I really do that?

    But even as I think about that, I wonder about what it would mean when I forgive myself. When I am ‘giving as you gave before the hurt occurred’ to myself. That would mean that I will allow myself to try again even though I messed up when I gave myself the chance before. That I will allow myself to dream again even though I blew away all the dreams I had before. That I will give myself love and joy and happiness and all the other good things that come with life despite the fact that I never was really good at it.

    I guess ‘giving as you gave before the hurt occurred’ means allowing myself a second chance for each and everything that I forgive myself for. When will I do that?

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