Black Butterfly

• Health Coverage

  Posted: July 30, 2008, 9:49 pm by mwari

  
  

  I’m trying to decide whether to take advantage of COBRA insurance from my prior job.  COBRA allows you to piggy back on your prior employee’s insurance coverage for at least 18 months, but requires you to pay upto 102% of the insurance premium (for example, if the employer paid $100, the most you’d have to pay is $102).  My new job has a 90-day waiting period before coverage begins. Go figure! That’s what you get for working for the government! So, my coverage doesn’t kick in until sometime in October.  I left my other job mid-month, so I’m covered until the end of this month. So, in essence I need coverage for the next two months.  It will probably cost me around $600 for 2 months, which too me is pretty hefty.  I could use that money to pay off some of my bills.  Also, I am blessed with good health; I rarely if ever get sick.  Like many students, I went through my college life sans health insurance, and during that 7 year period, I thank God, I never got ill.  So, there’s that route.   Stay uninsured for the next 2 months and hope for the best.  But my mother’s words keep drifting in and out of my mind. She always says “Mutino ni muhio gukira ngoma” (loosely transalted from Kikuyu to English: “misfortune/accident is swifter than the devil).   Am I willing to take that risk? Anything can happen, and that $600 I’m trying to save on will appear miniscule next to a gigantic medical bill, should God forbid, anything happen.  I have the next 2 days to decide what I need to do.  I’m leaning heavily to signing up for COBRA coverage…..

• Personal Finance

  Posted: July 30, 2008, 7:51 am by mwari

  
  

  I am part of the “instant gratification” generation. I affectionately refer to us as the “microwave” generation. We do not save any money to purchase anything.  Why do that when with the swipe of a card I can have what I want.  Now. Our folks saved to buy everything.  There were no credit cards, no zero-down. Nada. You wanted a house, you came up with a 20% down payment.  When I think about it, 20% down is crazy! How can anyone afford to purchase property? But, they did it.  Life in the States is totally different. if not careful, you can find yourself in debt to your eyeballs trying to keep up with the joneses.  I’d like to say that I’ve always been great at managing my money, but that wouldn’t be completely true.  Granted, I’m a very conservative spender.   I’ve always been cautious with how I spend my money, but I must admit I’ve never quite kept a working budget.  I roughly knew how much was in my account, and I spend based on that.  Well, i’m all grown now, so I’ve been really working at learning ways of making my money work for me.  I really hate debt! Hate it! But, I’m in it.  Thank God, none of it is credit card debt.  I learnt that lesson the hard way, but I’m happy to say credit cards are history in my life.  But, I do have about 13K in student loans, and $14K in car note.  The former was a necessity.  There was no way I was going to be able to attend school if I didn’t take the student loan.  But, my student loan is just for my graduate school.  I worked two jobs to pay for my undergrad and I’m darn proud of that.  The car note, well, that’s a different ball game.  In retrospect, I shouldn’t have bought my dream car at the time I did.  But, the instant gratification side of me took over my generally cautious side.  If i had to do it again, I wouldn’t have bought the car at the time.  But, here I am.  I need to pay both of these off ASAP.  I’ve really been working at “snowballing my debt” by significantly trimming down.  It takes discipline, and somedays just sheer grace.  I’ve implemented some of Dave Ramsey’s spending habits.  Like the “envelope system.” It works especially when I need some retail theraphy.  Having what is allocated in my budget for shoes in cash in an envelope has really helped me avert unnecessary shopping sprees.  I still feel that there’s more room to trim down.  I recently decided to park my car and ride the metro.  With the gas prices as well as the sheer hours I spend stressed in the traffic, this is by far the easiest trimming down decision I’ve made.  Riding the metro though has its moments.  Like galfriend telling her business over the phone to the entire bus at 7 o’clock in the morning is enough to make me pull out my glock! LOL!!! The only saving grace is when I think: $10/week on the metro vs. $45/week on gas. Priceless!

• I’ve been MIA for a while.  ...

  Posted: July 22, 2008, 7:15 am by mwari

  
  

  I’ve been MIA for a while.  With all the moving, unpacking, and new job, its been crazy.  Thankfully, things have calmed down.  My new job is “aight” for lack of a better term.  I’m in the orientation phase and the transition isn’t going as smoothly as I’d hoped.  You get used to doing things a certain way, and when you don’t have that, you pretty much have new-job blues. But, i’m sure in time it will get better.  Other than that my personal life is looking up.  New guy (i have to find a suitable alias for him) is proving to be quite a guy.  He’s very thoughtful and considerate. Maybe i haven’t had a really nice guy in my corner for a while, i forgot just what a nice feeling it is to be with someone who really digz you. I am all smiles.  All. The. Time.   I keep waiting for the shoe to fall off, but it hasn’t (yet! and maybe it won’t!).  So, for now, i’m in a really really good place.   I even took a moment to thank EL because if he hadn’t been such a mofo, I wouldn’t have recognized what a good guy looks like.  I think i just learnt my lesson!

• Packing

  Posted: July 3, 2008, 8:15 am by mwari

  
  

  I’m having packing blues! How is it possible for someone to accumulate so much in such a short time period? I have done so much mental packing without actually physically doing anything.  The thought of packing really overwhelms me. But, its something that has to be done, because movers come in on Friday.  So far, i have lots of boxes (empty) in the living room.  Loads of clothes in my room to be sorted out. My kitchen is flooded with pots and pans and plates….aargh! I know this will be done because it has to be done.  It’s the process that is crazy.  Oh well, off to pack some more.  Laterz!

• Where do I stand?

  Posted: July 1, 2008, 5:56 am by mwari

  
  

  It’s natural for me to allow what others want to be important that what I want or even what I need.  It’s not something that I am particularly proud of.  In fact, until recently, i didn’t even realize i did it.  It was just a part of what I did.  It’s a hard thing to admit that you allow others happiness to be more important that what is best for you.  But, I can’t do that anymore.  From now on, I am going to do what is best for me.  That doesn’t mean that I will not be a giving person. But, I want to make decisions based on what I believe is best for me.  This issue comes up because I met a new guy.  And the one thing that I am not going to do is be physically intimate with this guy (until he has a ring on my finger).  I know it sounds like i’m jumping the gun, but I need to be sure where i stand.  The emotional baggage that comes with not ending up with a guy whom i’ve been with is something that I cannot handle.  Seriously, it would take another decade for me to get out of that roller coaster.  I admit this is a decision that is not easy.  I have never done this before, but I am adamant that this is what’s up. When the time is right, I will have this discussion with this guy.  If we’re not on the same page – spiritually, emotionally, and physically- then I’d rather not be involved with him in any way.  I am more than aware that the devil is always ready to pounce on you when you make a decision like this, so I’m asking God to walk with me on this one.  I can’t do it alone.  I told my bff this, and she said “are you serious? I don’t know about all that.”  Well, I’m here to prove to her that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  If this guy is the real deal, he will respect my decision.  And if he’s not, then i’d rather know now than later.  

• First Date

  Posted: July 1, 2008, 5:19 am by mwari

  
  

  Yesterday, me and the new guy went out on a date. Our First Date.  The uneasiness that comes into play when you first meet a guy is always there.  A weird nervousness.  But, it was a nice day.  We met for late lunch and drinks and watched the Euro Cup final.  Nice.  Then we went to the park, for some one-on-one time.  It was really a day made for the movies.  The weather was perfect, the company even better.  We cuddled and snuggled, and just talked.  Played the word game - what do you first think of when I say this word. It even sprinkled and then it rained. Didn’t I tell you this was made for the movies.  We shared our first kiss under the rain.  I spent all day thinking that I imagined all of this.  I am all giddy and full of butterflies and I want to remember the feeling that I had/have for a long time.  It’s just nice living in the moment.  He called me today to wish me a good day.  Sweet.  We’ll see where this goes.   

• Be Cool

  Posted: July 1, 2008, 5:11 am by mwari

  
  

  Written on Sat. June 28

  Last night I met a guy.  I had first noticed him when he entered the restaurant and walked around saying hello to everyone.  Initially, all i thought of him, was he’s choclaty. Nice. Then he spoke and didn’t sound like a complete idiot.  Little did I know that he had already scoped me out.  So, we ended up talking, and for the first time, in a really long time, I didn’t even notice when 2 a.m rolled by.  He’s a decent guy (based on first impressions).  As far as where he lies on “my list” (created a mere two days ago), he has some of the qualities.  He was respectful, he is into his family, he’s intelligent, was a former teacher.  It’s just soooo crazy that we met only a week before I leave town. After we left the club, he called to make sure that I got home safe, and then we ended up talking until 4am.  

  But, I am really trying to be cool.  I don’t want to sabotage this and fall flat on my face. The only drawback (and i’m not even sure why it is) is that’s he’s 8 years older than I am.  I think i’m okay with that.  I don’t want to rush any of this.  I want the lessons that I have learn this past year to mean something.  The amount of pain and heartache that I have endured in the last few years are enough to keep me extremely guarded.  I’m happy to have spent time with someone who seems to genuinely dig me. It’s a nice feeling I must admit.  And it really makes me wonder what I’ve been doing with EL.  For the first time in a really long time, I didn’t think of EL. And when i did there was no pain or anger.  More like relief.  Like, thank God he was such a jerk, cuz I probably wouldn’t have recognized what a nice guy looks like.  Even if this doesn’t work out, even if it is a fleeting moment, I am thankful to have met a nice guy who made me feel special and feel that I deserve to be treated this way.  I know God works in mysterious ways (and He has a wonderful sense of humor) - this one seems to be one of them.  Thank you Lord for shining this moment for me.  I truly feel like it will all be okay!

   

Blah blah blah

Fish cakes

Alas a fish cake.

Yet more fish cakes

Guess what ... yeah ... fish cakes.

The end of the fish cakes